January 15, 2024 • 39 mins
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the accomplishments of 2023 and look forward to opportunities in 2024 for Intimate Covenant. We encourage you to do the same for your marriage with a State of the Covenant conversation.
- For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future.
- A thorough evaluation of your marriage should include assessment of each realm of intimacy: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.
- Please help support Intimate Covenant by sharing and rating the podcast. We would be especially grateful for you to join us on Patreon.
RESOURCES:
State of the Covenant - conversation guide: https://intimatecovenant.com/product/state-of-the-covenant/
State of the Covenant podcast episodes:
Episode 74 — https://www.buzzsprout.com/1253489/9821679
Episode 126 — https://www.buzzsprout.com/1253489/11931486
Sponsored by:
Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com
Where finances meet faith and family.
-----------------------------------------------
Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:
- Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant. - Coconu — http://www.coconu.com
Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase - Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.
To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!
Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn
PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.
Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant
Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate
www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, jen, wanna talk about New Year's resolutions for
your marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I can think of a few things that you need to take
care of.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Uh great.
Today we're gonna discuss someways to assess your marriage and
to set some new goals for thenew year.
Let's do it.
Welcome to the IntimateCovenant podcast, where we
(00:32):
believe the Bible and GreatMarried Sex both belong on your
kitchen table.
That's right.
We're talking about holycovenant bound intimate
relationships with hot sex.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
We're Madden Jen, founders of Intimate Covenant.
We offer biblical teaching andresources to help married
couples achieve a fullerrelationship and an
extraordinary sex life.
For more information, visit ourwebsite, IntimateCovenantcom.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Welcome, friends.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Welcome.
Thanks for joining us forIntimate Covenant 2024 podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Pretty exciting New year and time to do some New
Year's things.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yes, and including starting our podcast schedule
off a week later than we hadplanned.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, we had some technical difficulties last week
and actually some just a fewmoments ago, but we're hopeful
that things are transmittingthis time.
Last week we had everythingrecorded, everything ready to go
.
We were ready early, in fact.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It was great.
It was going to be great, andyou started editing the episode
while watching your dolphinslose their game.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And you hit like play on the audio part of it and it
sounded like the teacher fromCharlie Brown.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
It was garbled.
It was a garbled mess.
I don't know what happenedthere.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
But it was 10 o'clock pm.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
We were out of time to record a new episode.
So here we are.
We delayed, postpone things oneweek and hopefully, as we're
recording this, the same thingsnot happening.
I guess we'll find out.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
We're putting something out tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
If you're hearing our voices, everything worked out.
That's right, that's what we'rehopeful.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
But we are finally putting out a January episode
and just wanted to take a momentand kind of share some exciting
things that will be in storefor Intimate Covenant in 2024.
Do a little bit of a look backin what 2023 held for Intimate
Covenant.
But before we go there, mattthe biggest news, the most
(02:42):
exciting news.
Why will 2024 be an amazingyear, matt?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Well, we are expecting to be grandparents
this year.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
We are being promoted to Doc and Grammy.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yes, so that's pretty exciting.
We really can't really focus onmuch else.
No, it's not exciting, it's allabout that coming grandson.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yes, very Be a little boy and we are just over the
moon.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yes, so coming soon, june, june, early June, I guess,
is the expected dates.
But we're super excited.
But I did tell Jen and I'llshare with you guys as well.
But maybe we'll let you decide.
But maybe our time as marriageand sex hodcasters might be
(03:33):
coming to an end, because who isgoing to take marriage and sex
advice from grandparents, from?
Speaker 2 (03:38):
grandparents.
We are about to be grandparents.
So take it.
Take it what it's worth.
This may be the last episodewhich we'll see.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
We'll let you decide if our message is still relevant
or not, but we do, like Jensaid, have some very exciting
things to share, both in termsof where we've been and where
we're going.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
We just wanted to at least take a moment to
acknowledge that and to sharesome upcoming news with you and
at the towards the later half ofthis episode we're going to
walk through with you a toolthat we use in our marriage
called State of the Covenant.
That will help you and yourmarriage to look at your past
(04:21):
year and set some goals for yourcoming year.
So we'll tell you a little bitmore about that here in a minute
.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
But anytime you look forward, it is essential to look
back, and we did want to take amoment and just kind of look
back at what this year has heldfor us.
It was easily our busiest yearin terms of what we've done with
intimate covenant, both interms of the podcast, obviously,
(04:45):
but also traveling and otherevents and other things that we
have done.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
But ironically that's not where we started in January
of 2023.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That's an excellent point.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, january of 2023 found both of us struggling.
If we're honest, trulyvulnerable with our audience.
We had definitely gotten somethings out of line and
priorities a little off kilter,and so we had a major reset
personally in our marriage andreally within intimate covenant.
(05:21):
That was one of the majorthings that had been eating up
too much of our mental,emotional, physical time, kind
of in our life and so in ourlife.
And so one of the things we didat the beginning of 2023, once
we realized some things neededadjusting as we dropped the
(05:42):
podcast down to an every otherweek format had been weekly up
until that point and we went toevery other week and, frankly,
we were both pretty nervousabout that because we were
fearful of losing our audience.
We were fearful of what thatwould mean.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
We, you're right that that was really a big step for
at least me personally and, likeyou said, there was quite a bit
of fear and anxiety and angstabout doing that.
But what I God just continuesto amaze us and bless us, and
you all continue to amaze us andbless us.
What we found was that whileour download numbers per episode
(06:24):
sorry, our total downloadnumbers may have gone down, our
total downloads per episodeincreased by over 60%.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Which is amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah, we're putting out.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Less content and yet more downloads were happening.
More people are listening, morepeople have found out about the
podcast, and that was that waslike you said, matt.
It was incredibly humbling tosee those numbers coming in.
I mean, we don't do this forthe numbers.
Sure but the numbers help usknow.
(06:57):
You know that, that it mattersand that you know there are
those that are hopefullygleaning from this.
So thank you, Thank you forlistening, Thank you for tuning
in, Thanks for really thanks foryour reviews and your ratings.
You know, when you leave areview for something, I think we
(07:18):
we all tend to think like whatdoes it really matter whether or
not I review something or not?
But we're here to tell you that, being on this side of it now,
we know reviews matter a lot.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, in the podcast world it's just such a huge
thing when you leave a review,it just says that this content
is relevant to people, and so weget found by folks that might
not otherwise be exposed.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
And we're going to tell you in a little bit later
in the podcast where we gotfound from someone we would have
never absolutely ever had theopportunity to be a part of
their life.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So in a very impactful way.
So thank you for those of youthat have done some reviews and
ratings.
If you haven't reviewed orrated the show in a while, we
would be extremely grateful ifyou would do that.
Your feedback on Apple orGoogle or Spotify or wherever it
is that you listen to yourpodcast, wherever you can put a
(08:16):
review and a rating, that wouldbe just.
We would just be so gratefulfor that.
So thank you in advance fordoing that.
I would just share that.
I mean, we talked about howexciting we were, how excited we
were and are about the podcastand even in spite of dropping to
an every other week episodeformat, I should say, according
(08:39):
to our podcast distributor,which is called Buzzsprout, for
whatever that's worth,buzzsprout tells us that our
podcast is in the top 10% of allpodcasts in 2023.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Not just the marriage or religious or sexuality or
any of the like, not just in acategory.
It's saying top 10% of allpodcasts.
That is.
That blows my mind Like no.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Me too.
It's unbelievable that that isthe case when is Matt and Jen.
Just Matt and Jen.
You know podcasting from ourupstairs game room.
Our humble abode.
Yes, our non-fancy recordingstudio.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
And, incidentally, if you're on YouTube and you can
see hello and you can see someof the updates that we've, yeah,
we got fancy microphones infront of us now, so we look a
little bit more official, but itdoes not feel like we're
official enough to be in the top10%.
But again, that is all aboutyou all.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And we are humble.
That's God's message, right.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
And that is God's work.
That's right.
So it's not about us, but it isabout the power of God's
message and that there are soulshungry for the knowledge of
God's beautiful plan of marriageand hungry for real talk,
vulnerable talk that's what wehear from you all all the time
(10:11):
is just how much it means to youthat we are here and doing this
, because it is putting a voiceout there that God does have a
beautiful plan for marriage andfor sexuality and the holiness
of that.
And so thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, thank you.
We are immensely grateful.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Matt likes to geek out on the numbers and who is
listening and where they'relistening from.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I do enjoy that data.
It is interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
So, for those of you who are interested, matt has a
list of our most popular cities.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Top five most popular cities all happen to be in the
United States and, starting withnumber five, the fifth most
popular is actually a city we'venever done an event in.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
We've never been here .
We've been close.
We know some people who livearound this area, but not in
this area, that's right.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
So number five is Indianapolis, Indiana.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Shout out to our Indianapolis listeners.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Thank you, Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah, whoever you are , there's a lot of y'all
listening.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
So let's get there.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Let's make an event happen in Indianapolis 2024.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
We clearly have some listeners there, so that would
be fun.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Number four.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Dallas, texas.
Not surprising in the homestate, so in the home state.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
we've done a couple of events in Dallas, Texas.
So yeah, and who's the number?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
three.
This was surprising to me,because this is literally where
we are, and that's Houston Texas.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
It's surprising it's not number one, but then again
we're not surprised because mostof our friends aren't actually
listening to this podcast.
We think probably true.
At least they're not talking tous a little bit.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
They're too embarrassed to turn it on.
Number two is Little OldBowling Green, Kentucky.
No offense, I don't mean thatin an offensive way but Little.
Old Bowling Green.
We did have an event there notlong ago, so maybe that's part
of the reason for the popularitythere, but we were thrilled
we're holding the number onespot back Number one.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Most listeners.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Actually a place.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Most download happen in Tampa Florida.
Tampa Florida.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Tampa Florida.
Thank you, we appreciate youY'all going up.
We've done a couple of eventsin Tampa.
That's one of the many placesthat I grew up as a child, so
have a special affinity.
Thank you, tampa.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
So top five listening cities or we're all in the
United States, but what isshocking to me is the number of
countries that the IntimateCovenant podcast is listened in.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
This is truly remarkable.
If you had just make a wildguess in your brain.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Oh, yeah, okay, I'm gonna come up with a number.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
The number of countries and then be as shocked
as we are that that number is67 total countries in 2023.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
I would think like six or seven, not 67 countries.
I didn't even know.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
there were 67 countries in the world, not sure
.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
That is pretty phenomenal.
So if you are one of ourinternational listeners, thank
you so much.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
How amazing.
And that comprises everycontinent other than Antarctica.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
We need.
Does anybody know, like ascientist down in Antarctica,
that we could send them thepodcast?
How would that be to get anactual listen from Antarctica?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That would be pretty crazy, but 67 total countries.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
That's amazing.
If you're an internationallistener, send us an email.
Just tell us where you are andwhere you are.
And that would be cool, allright, the other thing you love
looking at the numbers of iswhat our most popular episodes
are.
So the top five episodes thatwe created in 2023, not
(13:57):
necessarily top five ever,because we've been doing this
podcast now for I don't know howlong.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
It's been a while.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
It's been a while who knew there's so many topics to
talk about.
I digress, Matt.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Top five.
Okay, are we starting withnumber five?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Let's start with number five.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
So number five is episode 137, titled Asking for
Orgasm.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Lots of downloads on that one.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Lots of downloads there.
Number four is number 140,which is titled my Wife has no
Sex Drive.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Also a very popular episode.
Number three was actually oneof our Q&A sessions.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, this is curious to me, the Q&A session titles
don't often.
They don't have the shockfactor that Matt likes to put
into the title.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Not always, but it was episode 130, which is a Q&A
session including topics ordiscussions about sexual
frequency and kids and rejectionand wives and securities, so
that was apparently a popularepisode.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
A lot of people wanted to listen to that one.
All right, number two.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Episode 132, which was titled Am I Taking Too Long
to Orgasm?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
We have got several in our top five that have to do
with orgasm not surprising.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Not surprising and number one.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Number one.
I am not surprised.
What is the number one episodecreated in 2023, matt.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Episode 136, titled Sex Toys.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
We got a lot of curious listeners out there
about sex toys, so we'll justleave that at that.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah hopefully those episodes were helpful to you as
well, but we certainly enjoycreating all of these episodes
and again Me, as in you or me.
Well, we'll just group thattogether.
It's a we thing.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
It is a we thing.
I'm here for it, matt.
All right.
The other exciting thing thathappened in 2023 for Intimate
Covenant is that we added apodcast sponsor.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
This has been just a tremendous blessing for us, Not
only from the sponsorshipstandpoint in that sponsorship
really goes a long way towardshelping us pay the bills and
expand our reach but more sothat sponsorship is from our
good friend Derek Finley at OpenDoor Financial Advisors.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yes, just getting to know Derek on a personal level
and working with him, regardlessof what the podcast had to do
with, that has been lifechanging for us.
Derek has been able to speakinto our lives and to work with
us personally.
And what I love most aboutDerek, he's not the first
(16:46):
financial advisor we've workedwith.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
But what I love most about him is that he is the
first financial advisor we'veworked with that has a shared
faith with us.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
And, as such, understands the priorities of
our life.
And then is offering financialadvice based in that Shared
faith, shared priority views.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Shared values, shared everything.
It's just having that commoneternal perspective has made
such a big difference and Derekjust gets our individual unique
situation and so because of thathe's able to give us advice
that follows along with where wewant to be and what our real
(17:35):
goals are.
So it's not a cookie cutterapproach, it's not a sell me all
the products kind of approach.
It's just been solid, expert,but down to earth, real advice,
and that's made a big differencefor us and we are confident
that he would also be of help toyou.
So, as much as he's had animpact for us, I know and expect
(17:58):
that he could have at least asbig of an impact in your life in
helping you plan for yourfinancial future.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Right.
So let 2024 be the year thatyou get your feet underneath you
a little bit financially.
If that has been a place whereyou have struggled, or if you're
blessed with a lot of assetsalready, let Derek help you
better be stewards.
Be better stewards of thoseassets, no matter where you fall
(18:25):
.
Derek is Derek's, your man.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yep, you can contact Derek.
You should contact Derek.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Please contact Derek.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
OpendoorFAcom where finances meet faith and family.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
All right.
So the other thing and youalluded to this when we first
started 2023 ended up being ayear of a whole lot more
traveling to marriage days andmarriage weekends.
Then we anticipated again inJanuary of 2023, we were both
kind of like what are we doing?
Yeah, and we did a lot ofrealigning personally and with
(19:01):
intimate covenant, and if youhad asked me in January, I would
have said that probably isgonna equal a quieter year.
And then God said maybe not.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, right, right, you all had to.
Just you were ready for lots oftravel, so that's where we went
.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But thanks to the realigning that we did, we could
do that in a way that didn'tdidn't negatively impact us in
our marriage.
And so and we can kind of talkabout that in a little bit how
it is that we were able tomaintain the balance of us but
because we were able to go anddo all this traveling man, we've
(19:44):
met so many amazing people.
I am just floored and humbledat the opportunity that gets put
before us to meet so many ofyou and see the power of God
working within your marriages.
It is, it is just awesome.
(20:05):
Yeah, awesome to get littleglimpses of the power of healthy
marriages within God's kingdom.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, absolutely Like you said, Jen.
Just so many new opportunities,new friends that we have met
along the way, and this year wassuch a great chance to do that,
so we had marriage days inDallas, in Tampa, in the last
three days, so it's five total.
These last three, though, wereall new cities that we had never
(20:33):
had an event in, includingNashville, seattle and St Louis.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
That was amazing.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
So being able to travel to those places number
one is just fun for us, but tobe able to meet new people is
really where it's at for us andwe just really enjoyed that.
So we do still have someopenings available for 2024.
We have a pretty busy yearalready and we'll kind of allude
to that in a minute, but wecertainly would be open and
(21:00):
interested in traveling.
This year Our next event is inCedar Park where Austin, texas,
in February.
Yeah, we've been trying to getthis to happen for a long time.
It's so close but we're veryexcited about that event in
Austin and some other things onthe horizon that we'll get to.
But one of the other big things, of course, the big thing for
(21:24):
us every year, really thehighlight of our year every year
with intimate covenant, is theretreat.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
We love our retreat.
We love getting to put that on.
It's a lot of hard work butit's so worth it.
This past year we sold outagain.
We had over 50 couples there,Probably my top retreat yet it
was amazing.
So great, and a big part ofwhat made it so amazing was our
(21:50):
partnership with Justin and hiswife, jl Gerhard.
Justin is the creator of HolyGhost Stories, jl's his editor.
I mean, the two of themtogether are a powerhouse.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Really, really.
It's an amazing podcast that heputs together and if you're not
listening to the Holy GhostStories, you should.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
You need to be listening to that, but he you
know his content and what hebrought to the retreat just
teamed up so well with our themeand where we wanted to take the
retreat this past year, and soit just all went together to
create a truly special, specialweekend.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
So thankful to get part of that.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Thank you to those of you that joined us.
We had about half and half asfar as new attendees, People had
never been to a retreat before,and those returning from
previous retreats.
So we love that.
We love getting to meet newpeople.
We love hearing your stories ofyou know what it is that
(22:55):
brought you to the retreat andyour plans for returning in the
future.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, absolutely so looking forward, if you were
doing it again.
We are already booked with thehotel September 19 through the
21st this year and, you shouldprobably be aware, registration
will open on February 14.
So that is not very far away.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Not far away.
Only needed to deposit to areserve your spot.
But you know, go ahead and planto get in.
What a perfect Valentine's.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Day gift.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Because we do expect to sell out again.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I would not be surprised.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Put it on your calendars, All right.
The other big thing we added in2023 was Patreon.
Yes we, at the beginning of theyear, started our Patreon
community and we have been justoverwhelmed with the number of
supporters that have joined withus, partnered with us through
(23:55):
Patreon.
That has been I keep saying it,but I can't find a better word
it's been humbling, it is.
It has just been wonderful tohave that avenue of creating
that community and and andgleaning from the support that
our Patreon members are sendingour way.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, we're just overwhelmed by the number of
supporters who have chosen tonot only take part in it with us
in terms of downloads andrecommending and word of mouth,
and that's not to diminish thatkind of contribution and
partnership.
But, the number of you that havedetermined that you wanted to
(24:34):
make a financial contribution tothis work is just been
overwhelming to us, and so thegenerous support of Patreon has
really become a primary means inhow we are able to keep doing
what we're doing in terms of theevents, the scholarships that
we're able to offer at thoseevents, and just paying for some
(24:55):
of the general operatingexpenses in in making a lot of
these things happen.
It's really been justtremendously overwhelming to us.
So thank you, patreon.
If you're not on Patreon withus yet, we would love to have
you and we would certainlyappreciate your support in that
way.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
And yeah, I was going to say, while supplies last is
this where you were going,supplies last.
We are giving away exclusiveintimate Covenant swag If you
join us on Patreon.
So I mean who doesn't wantintimate Covenant swag.
You'll be the envy of all yourfriends.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yeah, and if you want to see what that looks like,
you're going to have to go toour Patreon page to see what is
being offered.
You can find us at Patreoncom.
That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.
Patreoncom slash intimateCovenant.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Okay, so we alluded to this a little earlier when I
was talking about the power ofthe podcast and it reaching
people we would have neverreached in any other
circumstance, and that is whathappened this past year.
Actually, it happened a coupleof years ago, but events got in
(26:10):
the way to slow this down.
And then now.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Where are we going, Jen, in 2024?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
We are becoming international because we are
going to crazy China and theUnited Arab Emirates.
What?
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Yeah, that's crazy and it's a very-.
All the core listeners are going, excuse me, Right, it's a very
long story how this happened,but in short, we can say that
this is all because of thepodcast, and it's just.
One of the amazing things aboutthe internet is that it's
everywhere.
But our host for these pair ofmarriage retreats is a private
(26:58):
school for the children ofexpats who work abroad in China
and the UAE, that is, dubai.
So we'll be ministering to themarried staff and to the
families that are associatedwith this organization in those
specific locations.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Never, never, never, never in my life would I have
dreamed of going to theselocations, would I have thought
this would be happening, letalone that we would be going to
have marriage retreats in thesetwo locations and we're still
trying to convince Jen that thisis actually going to happen.
But it's gonna happen.
This actually kind of got inthe works before COVID.
(27:36):
You can imagine how COVID put ahalt to all of this.
So here we are, three, fouryears later and the pieces are
finally coming together to makethis happen in April.
Like we are in the processright now of all the visa
applications and all youwouldn't imagine.
But it is great.
(27:57):
For somebody like me I am not atraveler in that way it's crazy
.
But thankfully this group istreating us exceptionally well.
They're making it a smoothprocess and so we're excited.
It took a little while for me toget on board to be excited, but
I am now excited.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
She's getting on board.
But we just ask the main reasonwe announced this today is we
really just pray that, and weask that you would pray that we
would have smooth travels, thatthe process would be easy, and
we pray that we can be positiveinfluences in the marriages for
(28:35):
these folks, that we're gonna bespeaking with.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
If you're listening from one of these two locations,
just know we are so excited tocome meet you.
We cannot wait.
We're just blown away that thisopportunity has been handed to
us, and so yeah, matt, we'regoing international.
Baby, we're really lookingforward to this.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
So that's a quick look back and a brief look ahead
in terms of where things havebeen, the busy year that 2023
was, and looking ahead at 2024.
Because of that well, first ofall, thank you we do want to
again just reiterate howgrateful we are that you've
(29:17):
joined us.
For that, and, in this theme oflooking back and looking ahead,
we felt like it was appropriateto encourage all of you to do
the same thing for your marriage.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Right, we kind of wanted to land this episode on
just an encouragement to you howcan you use this tool of
looking back and looking forwardwithin your marriage?
New year is a naturalopportunity to just look back on
what you've experienced as acouple and then, perhaps most
(29:50):
importantly, to plan for newareas of growth and deeper
connection.
And so this is something youand I have been passionate about
over the past couple of years,and more so that we're trying to
be very intentional abouthaving what we like to have an
(30:12):
annual or semi-annualconversation.
And so we've termed this.
We took what we were alreadyusing within our marriage and
made it official.
We gave it a name.
We have termed this the stateof the covenant, and it's our
state of the covenantconversation.
So, again, it typically happensat the first of the year, and
(30:35):
then it works out well that ouranniversary is in July, so
halfway through the years, thattypically is another time that
we tend to have another state ofthe covenant type conversation,
but just a time to really havea pause and be intentional and
purposeful about where we are,what we've done and where we
(30:57):
wanna go.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yeah, and I think that's a good point, because I
think we should make adistinction here.
We've been talking in thepodcast about the logistical
things like where we've been andwhere we're going with intimate
covenant.
But, to be clear, that's notthe kind of conversation we're
talking about for the state ofthe covenant.
It's not a logisticalconversation.
It's not about planning outyour vacations or your financial
(31:21):
plan for the coming year.
This is a conversation to helpassess where we are and what we
want to do to make ourconnection and our marriage
itself, our relationship, how tomake it better.
So, we created a tool to helpguide that conversation and it's
available on our website.
(31:42):
If you go tointimatecovenantcom slash shop,
you'll pull up the state of thecovenant product and I'll put
the link in the show notes.
If you don't wanna even do anynavigating, you just click a
button, it'll take you right toit.
It is for sale on the website,that conversation guide, and
we're only selling it for $299.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Less than $3.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I don't think you can get a Starbucks anymore for
$299.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
You cannot, and if you are a Patreon subscriber, we
make it available for ourPatreon subscribers.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
It is free.
Yeah, it is free to Patreonsubscribers, so that may be
another motivation for you tojoin us on Patreon.
But each of the previous twoyears around this time every
year, we've devoted an entireepisode to just talking about
the state of the covenant andwhat it is and how to go through
that process.
We're not gonna do all of thatdetail again this year because
(32:35):
it's already available.
You can go back and check outthose previous episodes, but
that's either episode 74 for theoriginal one or episode 126.
Go back and look in thearchives.
I'll link those as well if youwant the more details.
Since many of you I don't know,maybe most of you have already
been listening for a while.
(32:56):
You've maybe already heard thatepisode.
We're gonna do a very slimmeddown version of that.
So the highlights of how thisworks, right.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I think right just for those of you who aren't
familiar with it or need arefresher.
Sure, in short, the state of thecovenant is again an annual
guided conversation between youand your spouse, and it's
designed to help you assess thesatisfaction of the level of
oneness in your marriage.
(33:26):
And what I love about it isthat we broke it down into all
realms of intimacy so that thenyou can find better ways to
serve and connect with eachother, moving forward.
And so by realms of intimacy Imean that the, as we have put it
, thinking through yourspiritual intimacy, your mental
(33:50):
intimacy, emotional intimacy andsexual intimacy, and so you can
kind of do this like bigpicture, like well, how was our
marriage in 2023?
And that might be a decentconversation, but we find it's
much more powerful to break itdown and say what's our
spiritual connection, likewhat's our mental connection,
(34:13):
like.
Walking through each realm ofintimacy helps break it down and
it helps you then betterconsider.
You know more closely how youare and you will likely find
we're doing really well in someareas and we've got lots of room
for improvement in other areas.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
What you also might find is that you each have a
different assessment of wherethat is.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
That's also an important point of conversation,
why one of you may not have thesame feeling about where you
are, and we've created somequestions to help you fully
consider each of these realms.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Asking some questions that just kind of dig into how
do we feel?
What are we doing?
What are we not doing?
Those are things, and we alsowould encourage you to consider
what are the highs and the lows?
When did we feel the closestemotionally or spiritually?
When did we feel the furthestapart?
And that can sometimes be animportant exercise to consider
(35:17):
that.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Right.
Each spouse rates theirassessment of the current
quality of intimacy in each ofthese realms, using those
questions that will help guideyou through that, and then we
encourage you to share yourratings and discuss the current
state of your relationship, howyou've gotten to where you are
both the good and the bad andthen, based on your spouse's
(35:40):
feedback, then we encourage youto take that next step, the
important step of settingpersonal and couple goals for
your coming year, and withinthat, we would encourage you to
even set a very specific datefor when you're going to
reassess the progress that youhave made.
I think that is key and that'sbeen a part when we have used
(36:03):
this and had years where we'vereally seen a lot of progress in
our marriage and success withthis tool.
It's been because we have thatreassessment meeting and we hold
each other accountable to whatwe said we wanted to be working
on individually.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
We don't just have this conversation again in a
year or even in six months, butwe're setting up some regular
dates to hold each otheraccountable.
What have I done to movetowards the goal that we set out
to have?
So that's an important step aswell.
So, again, all of this isdetailed in these other episodes
(36:43):
in much greater detail, muchgreater length, and the specific
ways that we walk through thisprocess.
So, again, if you're notfamiliar with the process or
you've never done it before, weencourage you to look up those
episodes, download the form, theconversation guide, and get
this done.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
So, in summary, we encourage you to have the state
of the covenant conversation,Assess all areas of intimacy in
your marriage, set thosespecific goals for improving
each realm of intimacy and then,most importantly, set a date to
reassess your progress and holdone another accountable.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
There you go, three simple steps.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
There you go.
All right, Matt, give us ourwrap up.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
For real progress in your marriage, it's important to
critically evaluate the pastand to set goals for the future.
A thorough evaluation of yourmarriage should include
assessment of each realm ofintimacy spiritual, mental,
emotional and physical.
And finally, please helpsupport Intimate Covenant by
(37:52):
sharing and rating the podcast.
We would be especially gratefulif you would join us on Patreon
.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Now it's time to grab your spouse and your Bible and
head to your kitchen table tohave the conversation about the
state of your covenant.
How would you assess yourmarriage relationship and what
are your goals for the comingyear?
Speaker 1 (38:12):
We would love to hear your feedback about this
episode and others.
Certainly, we would appreciateyour questions.
Contact us by emailing podcastat intimatecovenantcom or you
can go to our website to submitan anonymous feedback form.
Intimatecovenantcom slashpodcast.
Thanks again to Open Door andto Derek Finley for sponsoring
(38:34):
the podcast.
Contact Open Door financialadvisors at OpenDoorFAcom, where
finances meet faith and family.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Thanks to all of you for listening, subscribing,
rating and sharing the podcastin 2023.
We're truly humbled by all ofyour encouragement and your
support.
We look forward to 2024 withyou.
Thanks especially to ourPatreon subscribers for coming
alongside us in that very realway.
(39:04):
We love you.
If you would like to joinIntimate Covenant by supporting
the podcast and our greatermission to share God's plan for
intimate marriage and holysexuality, subscribe at
patreoncom slashintimatecovenant Until next time
.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
keep striving and don't settle.
Hey, jen, wanna talk about New Year's resolutions for
your marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I can think of a few things that you need to take
care of.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Uh great.
Today we're gonna discuss someways to assess your marriage and
to set some new goals for thenew year.
Let's do it.
Welcome to the IntimateCovenant podcast, where we
(00:32):
believe the Bible and GreatMarried Sex both belong on your
kitchen table.
That's right.
We're talking about holycovenant bound intimate
relationships with hot sex.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
We're Madden Jen, founders of Intimate Covenant.
We offer biblical teaching andresources to help married
couples achieve a fullerrelationship and an
extraordinary sex life.
For more information, visit ourwebsite, IntimateCovenantcom.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Welcome, friends.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Welcome.
Thanks for joining us forIntimate Covenant 2024 podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Pretty exciting New year and time to do some New
Year's things.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yes, and including starting our podcast schedule
off a week later than we hadplanned.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, we had some technical difficulties last week
and actually some just a fewmoments ago, but we're hopeful
that things are transmittingthis time.
Last week we had everythingrecorded, everything ready to go
.
We were ready early, in fact.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It was great.
It was going to be great, andyou started editing the episode
while watching your dolphinslose their game.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And you hit like play on the audio part of it and it
sounded like the teacher fromCharlie Brown.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
It was garbled.
It was a garbled mess.
I don't know what happenedthere.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
But it was 10 o'clock pm.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
We were out of time to record a new episode.
So here we are.
We delayed, postpone things oneweek and hopefully, as we're
recording this, the same thingsnot happening.
I guess we'll find out.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
We're putting something out tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
If you're hearing our voices, everything worked out.
That's right, that's what we'rehopeful.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
But we are finally putting out a January episode
and just wanted to take a momentand kind of share some exciting
things that will be in storefor Intimate Covenant in 2024.
Do a little bit of a look backin what 2023 held for Intimate
Covenant.
But before we go there, mattthe biggest news, the most
(02:42):
exciting news.
Why will 2024 be an amazingyear, matt?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Well, we are expecting to be grandparents
this year.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
We are being promoted to Doc and Grammy.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yes, so that's pretty exciting.
We really can't really focus onmuch else.
No, it's not exciting, it's allabout that coming grandson.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yes, very Be a little boy and we are just over the
moon.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yes, so coming soon, june, june, early June, I guess,
is the expected dates.
But we're super excited.
But I did tell Jen and I'llshare with you guys as well.
But maybe we'll let you decide.
But maybe our time as marriageand sex hodcasters might be
(03:33):
coming to an end, because who isgoing to take marriage and sex
advice from grandparents, from?
Speaker 2 (03:38):
grandparents.
We are about to be grandparents.
So take it.
Take it what it's worth.
This may be the last episodewhich we'll see.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
We'll let you decide if our message is still relevant
or not, but we do, like Jensaid, have some very exciting
things to share, both in termsof where we've been and where
we're going.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
We just wanted to at least take a moment to
acknowledge that and to sharesome upcoming news with you and
at the towards the later half ofthis episode we're going to
walk through with you a toolthat we use in our marriage
called State of the Covenant.
That will help you and yourmarriage to look at your past
(04:21):
year and set some goals for yourcoming year.
So we'll tell you a little bitmore about that here in a minute
.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
But anytime you look forward, it is essential to look
back, and we did want to take amoment and just kind of look
back at what this year has heldfor us.
It was easily our busiest yearin terms of what we've done with
intimate covenant, both interms of the podcast, obviously,
(04:45):
but also traveling and otherevents and other things that we
have done.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
But ironically that's not where we started in January
of 2023.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That's an excellent point.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, january of 2023 found both of us struggling.
If we're honest, trulyvulnerable with our audience.
We had definitely gotten somethings out of line and
priorities a little off kilter,and so we had a major reset
personally in our marriage andreally within intimate covenant.
(05:21):
That was one of the majorthings that had been eating up
too much of our mental,emotional, physical time, kind
of in our life and so in ourlife.
And so one of the things we didat the beginning of 2023, once
we realized some things neededadjusting as we dropped the
(05:42):
podcast down to an every otherweek format had been weekly up
until that point and we went toevery other week and, frankly,
we were both pretty nervousabout that because we were
fearful of losing our audience.
We were fearful of what thatwould mean.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
We, you're right that that was really a big step for
at least me personally and, likeyou said, there was quite a bit
of fear and anxiety and angstabout doing that.
But what I God just continuesto amaze us and bless us, and
you all continue to amaze us andbless us.
What we found was that whileour download numbers per episode
(06:24):
sorry, our total downloadnumbers may have gone down, our
total downloads per episodeincreased by over 60%.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Which is amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah, we're putting out.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Less content and yet more downloads were happening.
More people are listening, morepeople have found out about the
podcast, and that was that waslike you said, matt.
It was incredibly humbling tosee those numbers coming in.
I mean, we don't do this forthe numbers.
Sure but the numbers help usknow.
(06:57):
You know that, that it mattersand that you know there are
those that are hopefullygleaning from this.
So thank you, Thank you forlistening, Thank you for tuning
in, Thanks for really thanks foryour reviews and your ratings.
You know, when you leave areview for something, I think we
(07:18):
we all tend to think like whatdoes it really matter whether or
not I review something or not?
But we're here to tell you that, being on this side of it now,
we know reviews matter a lot.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, in the podcast world it's just such a huge
thing when you leave a review,it just says that this content
is relevant to people, and so weget found by folks that might
not otherwise be exposed.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
And we're going to tell you in a little bit later
in the podcast where we gotfound from someone we would have
never absolutely ever had theopportunity to be a part of
their life.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So in a very impactful way.
So thank you for those of youthat have done some reviews and
ratings.
If you haven't reviewed orrated the show in a while, we
would be extremely grateful ifyou would do that.
Your feedback on Apple orGoogle or Spotify or wherever it
is that you listen to yourpodcast, wherever you can put a
(08:16):
review and a rating, that wouldbe just.
We would just be so gratefulfor that.
So thank you in advance fordoing that.
I would just share that.
I mean, we talked about howexciting we were, how excited we
were and are about the podcastand even in spite of dropping to
an every other week episodeformat, I should say, according
(08:39):
to our podcast distributor,which is called Buzzsprout, for
whatever that's worth,buzzsprout tells us that our
podcast is in the top 10% of allpodcasts in 2023.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Not just the marriage or religious or sexuality or
any of the like, not just in acategory.
It's saying top 10% of allpodcasts.
That is.
That blows my mind Like no.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Me too.
It's unbelievable that that isthe case when is Matt and Jen.
Just Matt and Jen.
You know podcasting from ourupstairs game room.
Our humble abode.
Yes, our non-fancy recordingstudio.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
And, incidentally, if you're on YouTube and you can
see hello and you can see someof the updates that we've, yeah,
we got fancy microphones infront of us now, so we look a
little bit more official, but itdoes not feel like we're
official enough to be in the top10%.
But again, that is all aboutyou all.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And we are humble.
That's God's message, right.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
And that is God's work.
That's right.
So it's not about us, but it isabout the power of God's
message and that there are soulshungry for the knowledge of
God's beautiful plan of marriageand hungry for real talk,
vulnerable talk that's what wehear from you all all the time
(10:11):
is just how much it means to youthat we are here and doing this
, because it is putting a voiceout there that God does have a
beautiful plan for marriage andfor sexuality and the holiness
of that.
And so thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, thank you.
We are immensely grateful.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Matt likes to geek out on the numbers and who is
listening and where they'relistening from.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I do enjoy that data.
It is interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
So, for those of you who are interested, matt has a
list of our most popular cities.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Top five most popular cities all happen to be in the
United States and, starting withnumber five, the fifth most
popular is actually a city we'venever done an event in.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
We've never been here .
We've been close.
We know some people who livearound this area, but not in
this area, that's right.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
So number five is Indianapolis, Indiana.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Shout out to our Indianapolis listeners.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Thank you, Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah, whoever you are , there's a lot of y'all
listening.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
So let's get there.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Let's make an event happen in Indianapolis 2024.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
We clearly have some listeners there, so that would
be fun.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Number four.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Dallas, texas.
Not surprising in the homestate, so in the home state.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
we've done a couple of events in Dallas, Texas.
So yeah, and who's the number?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
three.
This was surprising to me,because this is literally where
we are, and that's Houston Texas.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
It's surprising it's not number one, but then again
we're not surprised because mostof our friends aren't actually
listening to this podcast.
We think probably true.
At least they're not talking tous a little bit.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
They're too embarrassed to turn it on.
Number two is Little OldBowling Green, Kentucky.
No offense, I don't mean thatin an offensive way but Little.
Old Bowling Green.
We did have an event there notlong ago, so maybe that's part
of the reason for the popularitythere, but we were thrilled
we're holding the number onespot back Number one.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Most listeners.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Actually a place.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Most download happen in Tampa Florida.
Tampa Florida.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Tampa Florida.
Thank you, we appreciate youY'all going up.
We've done a couple of eventsin Tampa.
That's one of the many placesthat I grew up as a child, so
have a special affinity.
Thank you, tampa.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
So top five listening cities or we're all in the
United States, but what isshocking to me is the number of
countries that the IntimateCovenant podcast is listened in.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
This is truly remarkable.
If you had just make a wildguess in your brain.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Oh, yeah, okay, I'm gonna come up with a number.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
The number of countries and then be as shocked
as we are that that number is67 total countries in 2023.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
I would think like six or seven, not 67 countries.
I didn't even know.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
there were 67 countries in the world, not sure
.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
That is pretty phenomenal.
So if you are one of ourinternational listeners, thank
you so much.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
How amazing.
And that comprises everycontinent other than Antarctica.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
We need.
Does anybody know, like ascientist down in Antarctica,
that we could send them thepodcast?
How would that be to get anactual listen from Antarctica?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
That would be pretty crazy, but 67 total countries.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
That's amazing.
If you're an internationallistener, send us an email.
Just tell us where you are andwhere you are.
And that would be cool, allright, the other thing you love
looking at the numbers of iswhat our most popular episodes
are.
So the top five episodes thatwe created in 2023, not
(13:57):
necessarily top five ever,because we've been doing this
podcast now for I don't know howlong.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
It's been a while.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
It's been a while who knew there's so many topics to
talk about.
I digress, Matt.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Top five.
Okay, are we starting withnumber five?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Let's start with number five.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
So number five is episode 137, titled Asking for
Orgasm.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Lots of downloads on that one.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Lots of downloads there.
Number four is number 140,which is titled my Wife has no
Sex Drive.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Also a very popular episode.
Number three was actually oneof our Q&A sessions.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, this is curious to me, the Q&A session titles
don't often.
They don't have the shockfactor that Matt likes to put
into the title.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Not always, but it was episode 130, which is a Q&A
session including topics ordiscussions about sexual
frequency and kids and rejectionand wives and securities, so
that was apparently a popularepisode.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
A lot of people wanted to listen to that one.
All right, number two.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Episode 132, which was titled Am I Taking Too Long
to Orgasm?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
We have got several in our top five that have to do
with orgasm not surprising.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Not surprising and number one.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Number one.
I am not surprised.
What is the number one episodecreated in 2023, matt.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Episode 136, titled Sex Toys.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
We got a lot of curious listeners out there
about sex toys, so we'll justleave that at that.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah hopefully those episodes were helpful to you as
well, but we certainly enjoycreating all of these episodes
and again Me, as in you or me.
Well, we'll just group thattogether.
It's a we thing.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
It is a we thing.
I'm here for it, matt.
All right.
The other exciting thing thathappened in 2023 for Intimate
Covenant is that we added apodcast sponsor.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
This has been just a tremendous blessing for us, Not
only from the sponsorshipstandpoint in that sponsorship
really goes a long way towardshelping us pay the bills and
expand our reach but more sothat sponsorship is from our
good friend Derek Finley at OpenDoor Financial Advisors.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yes, just getting to know Derek on a personal level
and working with him, regardlessof what the podcast had to do
with, that has been lifechanging for us.
Derek has been able to speakinto our lives and to work with
us personally.
And what I love most aboutDerek, he's not the first
(16:46):
financial advisor we've workedwith.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
But what I love most about him is that he is the
first financial advisor we'veworked with that has a shared
faith with us.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
And, as such, understands the priorities of
our life.
And then is offering financialadvice based in that Shared
faith, shared priority views.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Shared values, shared everything.
It's just having that commoneternal perspective has made
such a big difference and Derekjust gets our individual unique
situation and so because of thathe's able to give us advice
that follows along with where wewant to be and what our real
(17:35):
goals are.
So it's not a cookie cutterapproach, it's not a sell me all
the products kind of approach.
It's just been solid, expert,but down to earth, real advice,
and that's made a big differencefor us and we are confident
that he would also be of help toyou.
So, as much as he's had animpact for us, I know and expect
(17:58):
that he could have at least asbig of an impact in your life in
helping you plan for yourfinancial future.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Right.
So let 2024 be the year thatyou get your feet underneath you
a little bit financially.
If that has been a place whereyou have struggled, or if you're
blessed with a lot of assetsalready, let Derek help you
better be stewards.
Be better stewards of thoseassets, no matter where you fall
(18:25):
.
Derek is Derek's, your man.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yep, you can contact Derek.
You should contact Derek.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Please contact Derek.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
OpendoorFAcom where finances meet faith and family.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
All right.
So the other thing and youalluded to this when we first
started 2023 ended up being ayear of a whole lot more
traveling to marriage days andmarriage weekends.
Then we anticipated again inJanuary of 2023, we were both
kind of like what are we doing?
Yeah, and we did a lot ofrealigning personally and with
(19:01):
intimate covenant, and if youhad asked me in January, I would
have said that probably isgonna equal a quieter year.
And then God said maybe not.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, right, right, you all had to.
Just you were ready for lots oftravel, so that's where we went
.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But thanks to the realigning that we did, we could
do that in a way that didn'tdidn't negatively impact us in
our marriage.
And so and we can kind of talkabout that in a little bit how
it is that we were able tomaintain the balance of us but
because we were able to go anddo all this traveling man, we've
(19:44):
met so many amazing people.
I am just floored and humbledat the opportunity that gets put
before us to meet so many ofyou and see the power of God
working within your marriages.
It is, it is just awesome.
(20:05):
Yeah, awesome to get littleglimpses of the power of healthy
marriages within God's kingdom.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, absolutely Like you said, Jen.
Just so many new opportunities,new friends that we have met
along the way, and this year wassuch a great chance to do that,
so we had marriage days inDallas, in Tampa, in the last
three days, so it's five total.
These last three, though, wereall new cities that we had never
(20:33):
had an event in, includingNashville, seattle and St Louis.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
That was amazing.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
So being able to travel to those places number
one is just fun for us, but tobe able to meet new people is
really where it's at for us andwe just really enjoyed that.
So we do still have someopenings available for 2024.
We have a pretty busy yearalready and we'll kind of allude
to that in a minute, but wecertainly would be open and
(21:00):
interested in traveling.
This year Our next event is inCedar Park where Austin, texas,
in February.
Yeah, we've been trying to getthis to happen for a long time.
It's so close but we're veryexcited about that event in
Austin and some other things onthe horizon that we'll get to.
But one of the other big things, of course, the big thing for
(21:24):
us every year, really thehighlight of our year every year
with intimate covenant, is theretreat.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
We love our retreat.
We love getting to put that on.
It's a lot of hard work butit's so worth it.
This past year we sold outagain.
We had over 50 couples there,Probably my top retreat yet it
was amazing.
So great, and a big part ofwhat made it so amazing was our
(21:50):
partnership with Justin and hiswife, jl Gerhard.
Justin is the creator of HolyGhost Stories, jl's his editor.
I mean, the two of themtogether are a powerhouse.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Really, really.
It's an amazing podcast that heputs together and if you're not
listening to the Holy GhostStories, you should.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
You need to be listening to that, but he you
know his content and what hebrought to the retreat just
teamed up so well with our themeand where we wanted to take the
retreat this past year, and soit just all went together to
create a truly special, specialweekend.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
So thankful to get part of that.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Thank you to those of you that joined us.
We had about half and half asfar as new attendees, People had
never been to a retreat before,and those returning from
previous retreats.
So we love that.
We love getting to meet newpeople.
We love hearing your stories ofyou know what it is that
(22:55):
brought you to the retreat andyour plans for returning in the
future.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, absolutely so looking forward, if you were
doing it again.
We are already booked with thehotel September 19 through the
21st this year and, you shouldprobably be aware, registration
will open on February 14.
So that is not very far away.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Not far away.
Only needed to deposit to areserve your spot.
But you know, go ahead and planto get in.
What a perfect Valentine's.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Day gift.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Because we do expect to sell out again.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I would not be surprised.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Put it on your calendars, All right.
The other big thing we added in2023 was Patreon.
Yes we, at the beginning of theyear, started our Patreon
community and we have been justoverwhelmed with the number of
supporters that have joined withus, partnered with us through
(23:55):
Patreon.
That has been I keep saying it,but I can't find a better word
it's been humbling, it is.
It has just been wonderful tohave that avenue of creating
that community and and andgleaning from the support that
our Patreon members are sendingour way.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, we're just overwhelmed by the number of
supporters who have chosen tonot only take part in it with us
in terms of downloads andrecommending and word of mouth,
and that's not to diminish thatkind of contribution and
partnership.
But, the number of you that havedetermined that you wanted to
(24:34):
make a financial contribution tothis work is just been
overwhelming to us, and so thegenerous support of Patreon has
really become a primary means inhow we are able to keep doing
what we're doing in terms of theevents, the scholarships that
we're able to offer at thoseevents, and just paying for some
(24:55):
of the general operatingexpenses in in making a lot of
these things happen.
It's really been justtremendously overwhelming to us.
So thank you, patreon.
If you're not on Patreon withus yet, we would love to have
you and we would certainlyappreciate your support in that
way.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
And yeah, I was going to say, while supplies last is
this where you were going,supplies last.
We are giving away exclusiveintimate Covenant swag If you
join us on Patreon.
So I mean who doesn't wantintimate Covenant swag.
You'll be the envy of all yourfriends.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yeah, and if you want to see what that looks like,
you're going to have to go toour Patreon page to see what is
being offered.
You can find us at Patreoncom.
That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.
Patreoncom slash intimateCovenant.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Okay, so we alluded to this a little earlier when I
was talking about the power ofthe podcast and it reaching
people we would have neverreached in any other
circumstance, and that is whathappened this past year.
Actually, it happened a coupleof years ago, but events got in
(26:10):
the way to slow this down.
And then now.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Where are we going, Jen, in 2024?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
We are becoming international because we are
going to crazy China and theUnited Arab Emirates.
What?
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Yeah, that's crazy and it's a very-.
All the core listeners are going, excuse me, Right, it's a very
long story how this happened,but in short, we can say that
this is all because of thepodcast, and it's just.
One of the amazing things aboutthe internet is that it's
everywhere.
But our host for these pair ofmarriage retreats is a private
(26:58):
school for the children ofexpats who work abroad in China
and the UAE, that is, dubai.
So we'll be ministering to themarried staff and to the
families that are associatedwith this organization in those
specific locations.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Never, never, never, never in my life would I have
dreamed of going to theselocations, would I have thought
this would be happening, letalone that we would be going to
have marriage retreats in thesetwo locations and we're still
trying to convince Jen that thisis actually going to happen.
But it's gonna happen.
This actually kind of got inthe works before COVID.
(27:36):
You can imagine how COVID put ahalt to all of this.
So here we are, three, fouryears later and the pieces are
finally coming together to makethis happen in April.
Like we are in the processright now of all the visa
applications and all youwouldn't imagine.
But it is great.
(27:57):
For somebody like me I am not atraveler in that way it's crazy
.
But thankfully this group istreating us exceptionally well.
They're making it a smoothprocess and so we're excited.
It took a little while for me toget on board to be excited, but
I am now excited.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
She's getting on board.
But we just ask the main reasonwe announced this today is we
really just pray that, and weask that you would pray that we
would have smooth travels, thatthe process would be easy, and
we pray that we can be positiveinfluences in the marriages for
(28:35):
these folks, that we're gonna bespeaking with.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
If you're listening from one of these two locations,
just know we are so excited tocome meet you.
We cannot wait.
We're just blown away that thisopportunity has been handed to
us, and so yeah, matt, we'regoing international.
Baby, we're really lookingforward to this.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
So that's a quick look back and a brief look ahead
in terms of where things havebeen, the busy year that 2023
was, and looking ahead at 2024.
Because of that well, first ofall, thank you we do want to
again just reiterate howgrateful we are that you've
(29:17):
joined us.
For that, and, in this theme oflooking back and looking ahead,
we felt like it was appropriateto encourage all of you to do
the same thing for your marriage.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Right, we kind of wanted to land this episode on
just an encouragement to you howcan you use this tool of
looking back and looking forwardwithin your marriage?
New year is a naturalopportunity to just look back on
what you've experienced as acouple and then, perhaps most
(29:50):
importantly, to plan for newareas of growth and deeper
connection.
And so this is something youand I have been passionate about
over the past couple of years,and more so that we're trying to
be very intentional abouthaving what we like to have an
(30:12):
annual or semi-annualconversation.
And so we've termed this.
We took what we were alreadyusing within our marriage and
made it official.
We gave it a name.
We have termed this the stateof the covenant, and it's our
state of the covenantconversation.
So, again, it typically happensat the first of the year, and
(30:35):
then it works out well that ouranniversary is in July, so
halfway through the years, thattypically is another time that
we tend to have another state ofthe covenant type conversation,
but just a time to really havea pause and be intentional and
purposeful about where we are,what we've done and where we
(30:57):
wanna go.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yeah, and I think that's a good point, because I
think we should make adistinction here.
We've been talking in thepodcast about the logistical
things like where we've been andwhere we're going with intimate
covenant.
But, to be clear, that's notthe kind of conversation we're
talking about for the state ofthe covenant.
It's not a logisticalconversation.
It's not about planning outyour vacations or your financial
(31:21):
plan for the coming year.
This is a conversation to helpassess where we are and what we
want to do to make ourconnection and our marriage
itself, our relationship, how tomake it better.
So, we created a tool to helpguide that conversation and it's
available on our website.
(31:42):
If you go tointimatecovenantcom slash shop,
you'll pull up the state of thecovenant product and I'll put
the link in the show notes.
If you don't wanna even do anynavigating, you just click a
button, it'll take you right toit.
It is for sale on the website,that conversation guide, and
we're only selling it for $299.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Less than $3.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I don't think you can get a Starbucks anymore for
$299.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
You cannot, and if you are a Patreon subscriber, we
make it available for ourPatreon subscribers.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
It is free.
Yeah, it is free to Patreonsubscribers, so that may be
another motivation for you tojoin us on Patreon.
But each of the previous twoyears around this time every
year, we've devoted an entireepisode to just talking about
the state of the covenant andwhat it is and how to go through
that process.
We're not gonna do all of thatdetail again this year because
(32:35):
it's already available.
You can go back and check outthose previous episodes, but
that's either episode 74 for theoriginal one or episode 126.
Go back and look in thearchives.
I'll link those as well if youwant the more details.
Since many of you I don't know,maybe most of you have already
been listening for a while.
(32:56):
You've maybe already heard thatepisode.
We're gonna do a very slimmeddown version of that.
So the highlights of how thisworks, right.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I think right just for those of you who aren't
familiar with it or need arefresher.
Sure, in short, the state of thecovenant is again an annual
guided conversation between youand your spouse, and it's
designed to help you assess thesatisfaction of the level of
oneness in your marriage.
(33:26):
And what I love about it isthat we broke it down into all
realms of intimacy so that thenyou can find better ways to
serve and connect with eachother, moving forward.
And so by realms of intimacy Imean that the, as we have put it
, thinking through yourspiritual intimacy, your mental
(33:50):
intimacy, emotional intimacy andsexual intimacy, and so you can
kind of do this like bigpicture, like well, how was our
marriage in 2023?
And that might be a decentconversation, but we find it's
much more powerful to break itdown and say what's our
spiritual connection, likewhat's our mental connection,
(34:13):
like.
Walking through each realm ofintimacy helps break it down and
it helps you then betterconsider.
You know more closely how youare and you will likely find
we're doing really well in someareas and we've got lots of room
for improvement in other areas.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
What you also might find is that you each have a
different assessment of wherethat is.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
That's also an important point of conversation,
why one of you may not have thesame feeling about where you
are, and we've created somequestions to help you fully
consider each of these realms.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Asking some questions that just kind of dig into how
do we feel?
What are we doing?
What are we not doing?
Those are things, and we alsowould encourage you to consider
what are the highs and the lows?
When did we feel the closestemotionally or spiritually?
When did we feel the furthestapart?
And that can sometimes be animportant exercise to consider
(35:17):
that.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Right.
Each spouse rates theirassessment of the current
quality of intimacy in each ofthese realms, using those
questions that will help guideyou through that, and then we
encourage you to share yourratings and discuss the current
state of your relationship, howyou've gotten to where you are
both the good and the bad andthen, based on your spouse's
(35:40):
feedback, then we encourage youto take that next step, the
important step of settingpersonal and couple goals for
your coming year, and withinthat, we would encourage you to
even set a very specific datefor when you're going to
reassess the progress that youhave made.
I think that is key and that'sbeen a part when we have used
(36:03):
this and had years where we'vereally seen a lot of progress in
our marriage and success withthis tool.
It's been because we have thatreassessment meeting and we hold
each other accountable to whatwe said we wanted to be working
on individually.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
We don't just have this conversation again in a
year or even in six months, butwe're setting up some regular
dates to hold each otheraccountable.
What have I done to movetowards the goal that we set out
to have?
So that's an important step aswell.
So, again, all of this isdetailed in these other episodes
(36:43):
in much greater detail, muchgreater length, and the specific
ways that we walk through thisprocess.
So, again, if you're notfamiliar with the process or
you've never done it before, weencourage you to look up those
episodes, download the form, theconversation guide, and get
this done.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
So, in summary, we encourage you to have the state
of the covenant conversation,Assess all areas of intimacy in
your marriage, set thosespecific goals for improving
each realm of intimacy and then,most importantly, set a date to
reassess your progress and holdone another accountable.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
There you go, three simple steps.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
There you go.
All right, Matt, give us ourwrap up.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
For real progress in your marriage, it's important to
critically evaluate the pastand to set goals for the future.
A thorough evaluation of yourmarriage should include
assessment of each realm ofintimacy spiritual, mental,
emotional and physical.
And finally, please helpsupport Intimate Covenant by
(37:52):
sharing and rating the podcast.
We would be especially gratefulif you would join us on Patreon
.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Now it's time to grab your spouse and your Bible and
head to your kitchen table tohave the conversation about the
state of your covenant.
How would you assess yourmarriage relationship and what
are your goals for the comingyear?
Speaker 1 (38:12):
We would love to hear your feedback about this
episode and others.
Certainly, we would appreciateyour questions.
Contact us by emailing podcastat intimatecovenantcom or you
can go to our website to submitan anonymous feedback form.
Intimatecovenantcom slashpodcast.
Thanks again to Open Door andto Derek Finley for sponsoring
(38:34):
the podcast.
Contact Open Door financialadvisors at OpenDoorFAcom, where
finances meet faith and family.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Thanks to all of you for listening, subscribing,
rating and sharing the podcastin 2023.
We're truly humbled by all ofyour encouragement and your
support.
We look forward to 2024 withyou.
Thanks especially to ourPatreon subscribers for coming
alongside us in that very realway.
(39:04):
We love you.
If you would like to joinIntimate Covenant by supporting
the podcast and our greatermission to share God's plan for
intimate marriage and holysexuality, subscribe at
patreoncom slashintimatecovenant Until next time
.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
keep striving and don't settle.
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