The Power of Prioritizing Your Peace: Mastering the Art of Saying 'No' as an Introvert

Ever felt the pressure to say "yes" when all you really want is some quiet, alone time? You're not alone! On this episode of Introvert on Stage, we tackle a common stumbling block introverts face daily - the struggle of saying "No". Let's face it, in today's fast-paced, always-on society, setting boundaries can feel like an uphill battle. But I'm here to tell you it doesn't have to be.

We delve into the fear, guilt, and dread that often accompany the decision to prioritize ourselves, and offer practical solutions to help you reclaim your space. Using relatable scenarios and real-life examples, we unpack the art of respectful refusal, and outline easy-to-remember scripts to guide you through awkward conversations. We also explore the liberating power of "No", and how it contributes to self-care and personal growth. By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with tools to help you navigate social expectations while being true to your introverted nature. So kick back, relax, and let's take this journey together towards embracing our solitude, one "No" at a time.

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Episode Transcript

Olivia Lee (00:00):
Does this sentence make all the introvert that
sells in your body cringe andmake you want to disappear?
Cause girl, me too.
Hey there, fellow introvert onstage.
This show is a safe space forthe soft souls to learn, connect
and master communication.
I'm Olivia Lee and you'relistening to Introvert on Stage.
Let's say you planned onrelaxing and doing some

(00:25):
self-healing after a long week.
To me that's cuddling with mypuppy while binging my favorite
show or reading a book.
But then a friend calls andsays they need you to babysit
their kids for just 5 hoursbecause something suddenly came
up.
You know these kids and howcrazy and loud they can be, so
just the thought of being aroundthem all by yourself stresses

(00:46):
you out.
But your friend continues toask on the phone.
Can you please help me out thisone time?
I promise I won't ask again,but just one time.
You're my friend and I reallyneed your help, and no one else
said they can Please.
Does this sentence make all theintrovert that sells in your
body cringe and make you want todisappear?

(01:06):
Cause girl, me too.
Maybe you just want tounwillingly say yes, despite how
tired and frustrated you are,because you want to be there for
your friend.
Or if you go deeper, maybe it'sbecause you don't want your
friend to be mad at you or hateyou.
Or if you go even deeper, youmay be thinking, if you say no

(01:29):
now, when you need their help inthe future, maybe she won't be
there for you either because yousaid no this one time.
I understand your struggle ifyou relate to the thought
process above, because that's mythought process too the feeling
of constantly putting others'needs before your own, of being
overly friendly and saying yesall the time and regretting it,

(01:51):
and the fear of being dislikedor misunderstood.
It's a pattern that manyintroverts fall into and it can
be incredibly draining andfrustrating.
This conflict, althoughcomplicated, is solvable and the
solution begins with the magicword no.
First and foremost, I want youto recognize the power of no,

(02:13):
because your kindness is astrength, not a weakness.
But that also doesn't meanother people get to walk all
over your boundaries.
Saying no isn't rejecting theperson.
Saying no doesn't mean youdon't like them.
It simply means you can't orchoose not to take on their
project.
Because, if you think about it,no matter how simple the favor

(02:34):
is, it's still sacrificing yourown needs and desires, and it
helps to script out your no aswell.
It might sound silly and youmight think it's overdoing it,
but if you're like me and youoften overthink how to say no
and you end up saying yesbecause you don't know how to
say no refusal, nicely, trust me, this helps.

(02:54):
Here are a few scripts that youcould use, especially in this
particular example that I gaveyou before.
Number one is for people whoare more comfortable saying no.
Number one I'd love to help,but I've had a long week and
really need some downtime.
As you can tell, you know thisanswer.
You're being truly honest,you're not making up plans that

(03:16):
you didn't have, but just simplyto the point, you had a long
week.
You really need some downtimefor yourself.
Number two is for people whoare still uncomfortable saying
no and want to offer a solution.
Number two thank you forthinking of me.
Unfortunately, I already haveplans, but I really hope you
find someone who can help.

(03:36):
Or you could also say I couldask around and see if anyone
else can help.
Or number three I wish I couldhelp, but I already have plans.
Let's catch up later.
So, as you can tell, those arereally simple answers, because
it's also important to avoidover-exponation when we don't
really have a good or clearreason to say no.

(03:57):
We tend to go on and on aboutwhy we can't do something, but
you don't owe anyone a lengthyjustification, not to mention
that makes you sound a littlesus too.
A simple and sincere reason isgood enough.
Being nice doesn't mean youhave to constantly please
everyone around you at theexpense of your own happiness.

(04:17):
You might not want todisappoint or hurt other people
and end up saying yes to thingsyou don't want to.
I used to think this was how Iget others to like me, but after
many years of saying yes overand over and later disappointing
them when I actually can't help, I realized that we simply
cannot control how other peoplereact.
People might get disappointed,and that's okay.

(04:40):
Your well-being is as importantas anyone else's, and those who
genuinely care will understand.
Remember that setting boundariesis not a selfish act.
Think of yourself as abeautiful yet fragile wildflower
.
If you build a boundary aroundyou now, you're in a flower
garden and people know not tostep inside At least those would

(05:01):
common sense in courtasy.
But if you're simply awildflower in the wild with no
boundary, no fences, nothing,people don't know how close
they're allowed to get to you sothey might end up stepping on
you, plucking you or, even worse, it on you.
Haha, jk.
Saying no is an act ofself-care and self-respect,

(05:22):
because behind every yes aresacrifices you make for yourself
, whether it's your time, energyor money.
By setting boundaries, you'reacknowledging your own needs and
limitations and you actuallyearn more respect from other
people as someone who knows howto put yourself first.
Not setting your boundaries andgetting frustrated is like not

(05:44):
having a door and getting madthat people don't knock.
Ooh, I really like that youhave to tell them where the door
is and that to get in, theyhave to respectfully knock and
wait for an answer.
If not, they get kicked out.
If you want to be kind toothers, you must know how to be
kind to yourself first.
As cliche as it sounds, it'strue.

(06:05):
Take the time to recharge andengage in activities that bring
you joy and peace.
As an introvert, solitude isour source of strength and
renewal.
Embrace it and use it tonourish your soul.
Taking care of yourself givesyou more energy and capacity to
give to those who really meanmore to you and who you love
more authentically.

(06:25):
Personal growth andself-discovery take time.
It's a journey and there willbe ups and downs, so be patient
with yourself and celebrateevery step you take towards
finding your own voice and beingtrue to who you are, instead of
thinking.
I wish I could stop caring somuch about what others think.
Embrace your introverted natureas a gift and try thinking

(06:48):
instead.
I have a kind heart that makesme care about how others think,
which allows me to connect withother people on a deeper level.
To all the frustratedintroverts out there, know that
you are not alone.
Your struggles are so valid,but saying no is also an
essential skill that can belearned to prevent burn-out and

(07:09):
over-commitment.
It's okay to prioritize yourmental well-being, and saying no
will also clearly indicate whoyour real friends are.
Thank you for having me in yourear.
Your time and presence aretruly appreciated.
I hope you enjoyed today'sepisode and we'll be back again
next Tuesday on Introvert onStage.

(07:30):
Bye-bye.