July 22, 2025 • 16 mins
The second step in the peace framework teaches us how to evaluate our stressful situations by asking better questions before taking action. Evaluation helps us shift from being reactive to intentional by creating mental space between our triggers and responses.
• Evaluation means getting curious before you get reactive
• Simple evaluation questions include: what's actually happening right now? What story am I telling myself about this?
• Mental space clearing technique involves taking 60 seconds to step back from the situation
• Evaluation moves us from fiction to reality – we often react to the story we tell ourselves, not what's actually happening
• Examples of evaluation in daily life include receiving blunt texts, being stuck in traffic, or feeling irritated with children
• The spiritual dimension of evaluation asks "what am I being invited to see differently?"
• Evaluating through prayer helps us see situations and people with greater compassion
• Evaluation makes room for wisdom by slowing down in a world that wants you to rush
Visit jonathan-hale.com to book time with Jonathan as your peace coach. Peace is not passive, it's a practice and you're not alone on the journey.
https://jonathan-hale.com/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jonathan (00:17):
I'm Jonathan Hale, and this is your invitation to seek
, find and keep peace in yourlife, even when life feels
anything but peaceful.
Welcome to the Inviting Peacepodcast.
This is a space for reflection,grounded truth and simple,
powerful ideas to help you findcalm in the chaos.
(00:39):
No hype, no fluff, just realtalk about what it takes to
cultivate peace from the insideout.
Whether you're in a period ofstress, in a season of searching
, or simply want to grow inclarity and stillness, this is
for you.
So take a breath, let's begin.
(01:02):
Take a breath, let's begin.
So let's pick up where we leftoff in our last episode, where
we talked about pressing thepause button on stress.
If you missed that one, you maywant to go back and give it a
listen, because each of thesesteps builds on the last.
We explored the power of thepause, how hitting the pause
(01:27):
button in the middle of stressis often the most important step
toward finding peace.
But what comes after the pause?
That's what today's episode isall about, because once we pause
, once we've created that momentof space between the stimulus
and our response, we arrive at anew crossroad, and that
(01:48):
crossroad is where the secondstep of the peace framework
begins.
Evaluate Now.
I want you to think of a timewhen you've reacted to something
quickly, maybe impulsively, andthen later regretted it.
We've all been there.
Maybe you fired off a text toofast or spoke out of frustration
before hearing the full story,or jumped to conclusions based
(02:10):
on very limited information.
It's okay.
Again, you're human.
But evaluating before we reactis how we begin to grow beyond
our autopilot patterns.
It's how we move from survivalmode into something more
intentional.
So what does evaluate reallymean?
(02:31):
Simply put, it's the practiceof asking better questions
before taking action.
It's stepping into that pauseand using it not just breathe,
but to think clearly.
And here's the key.
Evaluating doesn't requireperfection.
It doesn't mean obsessing oroverthinking every detail.
(02:53):
It means getting curious beforeyou get reactive.
I often invite clients toconsider this in real time.
Here are just a few simpleevaluation questions you can ask
yourself when stress hits,what's actually happening right
now?
What story am I telling myselfabout this?
(03:13):
Is my reaction matching thereality of the moment or the
intensity of my emotion?
What's within my control rightnow?
What do I actually want as anoutcome here?
These questions help us turn onour higher reasoning, the
thoughtful, compassionate, adultpart of our brain instead of
(03:34):
letting stress pull us intoknee-jerk territory.
Now, I know that in the heat ofthe moment, these kinds of
questions can feel out of reach,so let's talk about how to
practice this skill.
One technique I recommend iswhat I call mental space
clearing.
When something triggers you,instead of reacting right away,
(03:57):
you take 60 seconds and mentallystep back from the situation,
like a camera pulling out from ascene.
Ask yourself what would I seefrom the outside, looking in?
What else could be true here?
Am I responding to this momentor to something old and
unresolved that this moment hasstirred up?
(04:18):
That last one is powerfulbecause so often our reactions
are not just about this moment,they're about the last hundred
that felt similar.
Let's take an example.
Say your partner snaps at youafter a long day.
Your first instinct might be tosnap back or shut down, but in
the pause, if you evaluate, youmight realize they're probably
(04:42):
just exhausted.
It's not a personal attack.
You're already feeling raw fromyour own work stress.
What you really want isconnection, not conflict.
That quick scan, those fewseconds of evaluation, can save
you hours of tension later.
To evaluate means to step backand examine what's really
(05:05):
happening both outside of us andinside of us.
It's the process of shiftingfrom being reactive to being
intentional, and that shift,however small it may seem, can
be transformative.
Let's consider another real lifeexample.
Imagine you receive a short,blunt text from a co-worker that
(05:26):
just says I need those numbersnow.
No context, no greeting, justthat your body tightens.
You feel your heart rateincrease, maybe you even mutter
something under your breath.
Your instinct might be torespond with equal sharpness,
something like I'll get to itwhen I can.
But if you pause and thenevaluate, you might ask why did
(05:51):
this message trigger me?
Am I interpreting tone thatisn't actually there?
What might they be dealing withon their end?
What response aligns with thekind of professional I want to
be?
Suddenly, instead of escalatingthe tension, you have a chance
to lower it.
You might reply sure thing Doyou need it by a specific time
(06:13):
today?
That kind of response invitesclarity, diffuses assumptions
and keeps the door open forcollaboration.
Here's the key takeawayEvaluation helps us move from
fiction to reality.
We often react not to what'sactually happening but to the
story we've told ourselves aboutwhat's happening.
(06:35):
Evaluation invites curiosity,and curiosity is one of the most
underrated tools in thepeace-building process.
It's like walking into a darkroom and fumbling around instead
of flipping on the light switch.
Evaluation is that switch.
It helps you see what's reallythere instead of reacting to
shadows.
(06:56):
Let's examine another commonexample.
You're stuck in traffic.
You're going to be late.
You're gripping the wheeltighter with every red light.
You could let stress take over,clench your jaw, curse under
your breath, honk at the personin front of you who definitely
could have made it through thatlight.
Or you could pause, thenevaluate with this quick
(07:20):
internal Q& A Is thereanything I can do to change this
traffic?
No, what am I making this meanthat I'm irresponsible?
That I'll ruin the meeting?
What's actually true?
I'll be a few minutes late.
I can let them know.
(07:41):
What do I need right now?
A deep breath, maybe somecalming music.
See the shift.
Evaluating allows you to reclaimyour agency.
It helps you steer not the carbut your internal compass toward
peace.
And it's not just aboutdiffusing stressful moments.
(08:02):
Evaluation can also amplify joyand gratitude.
Maybe your child is asking amillion questions while you're
trying to cook dinner.
You feel that edge ofirritation rising.
But if you pause and evaluate,you might realize this is
curiosity, this is connectionand suddenly dinner prep becomes
(08:26):
a shared moment instead of asolo stress.
So, whether it's a blunt text,a traffic jam or an inquisitive
child, evaluation is yourinvitation to ask better
internal questions before youoffer a response.
It gives you a moment to checkin with your values.
It reminds you that you are notyour first impulse.
(08:48):
It equips you to respond inalignment with who you want to
be.
And when you make evaluating ahabit, you create an internal
environment that's more stable,more grounded and much less
reactive.
You become the calm in thestorm, not by avoiding the
weather, but by understandingthe patterns behind it.
(09:12):
Let's take this one level deeper.
We've talked about evaluatingin practical, everyday ways.
Now I want to invite you toevaluate through a spiritual
lens, to not just ask what'sgoing on here, but what am I
being invited to see differently?
There's an instructive phrasefound in scripture by hearing,
(09:35):
ye shall hear and shall notunderstand, and seeing, ye shall
see and shall not perceive.
Sometimes we need new eyes, notjust new answers.
Sometimes we need new eyes, notjust new answers.
When we invite God, or whatevername you use for a higher power
, into our moments of stress, webegin to see more clearly.
(09:56):
We don't just evaluatecircumstances, we evaluate what
they're shaping in us.
Let's go back to that co-workerexample.
Maybe they weren't just abrupt,maybe they're overwhelmed,
maybe they're worried abouttheir job, maybe they're
carrying burdens you can't seeas you prayerfully consider how
(10:18):
to respond.
You're not just managingconflict, you're becoming a
peacemaker.
Jesus also taught Blessed arethe peacemakers, for they shall
be called the children of God.
Being a peacemaker is notpassive, it's active, deliberate
(10:38):
work.
To be a peacemaker is to chooselove in the face of tension or
conflict.
To evaluate with spiritual eyesis to ask what does love
require of me here?
Sometimes the answer isgentleness, sometimes it's
patience, sometimes it's settinga boundary, but it's always
rooted in peace, not incontention.
(10:58):
Now, I know some of youlistening may not identify as
spiritual or religious.
That's okay, you don't have touse my language.
You can translate it into yourown framework.
Maybe, instead of asking whatis God inviting me to see, you
ask what would the wisest, mostgrounded version of me notice?
(11:18):
Here the point is to shiftperspective, to widen the lens.
When we evaluate from thatdeeper place, we find meaning,
not just solutions.
There's another passage inscripture that states man
looketh on the outwardappearance, but the Lord looketh
on the heart.
This verse reminds me that whenI evaluate a situation, I can
(11:43):
choose to look deeper, withGod's help.
Deeper than appearances, deeperthan surface level offense,
deeper than my need to be right.
When we invite God into ourevaluation, something shifts.
We stop asking how do I winthis argument and we start
asking what would love do here?
(12:04):
What would love do here?
When we pray, god, help me seethis person as you do, we often
see not just their actions buttheir pain and what may be
driving their actions, andsuddenly our response becomes
more compassionate, not weak andnot passive, but anchored in
(12:28):
peace instead of fueled by ego.
So maybe next time you feelstressed or triggered, take a
spiritual pause and ask what'sreally going on here.
God, is there something youwant me to learn in this moment?
Am I reacting from fear orresponding from love?
What would bring more peace,not just for me, but for
(12:48):
everyone involved?
Sometimes the most powerfulevaluation isn't intellectual,
it's prayerful.
Don't worry so much aboutgetting it all figured out.
It's about being willing to seethe situation and yourself
through a gentler, more eternallens, and that's what I believe
true peace invites us into Notjust calmer thoughts, but
(13:11):
clearer vision.
Not just emotional regulation,but spiritual revelation.
So let's bring all of thistogether.
You paused.
That was step one.
And now, in the stillness, youevaluate.
Not to overanalyze, not to staystuck, but to respond wisely and
(13:32):
intentionally.
And whether you're doing thatfrom a strictly practical place
or through a lens of faith,evaluation makes room for wisdom
.
It means slowing down in aworld that wants you to rush.
It means asking thoughtfulquestions when it would be
easier to shut down or blow up.
It means choosing clarity overchaos, even when chaos is
(13:57):
working hard to pull you in.
And here's the beautiful part nomatter your background, no
matter your belief system, nomatter how reactive you've been
in the past, you can start thistoday.
You can begin with a singlepause and in that pause you can
ask what am I really reacting to?
(14:17):
What matters most here?
What response feels mostaligned with peace?
Feels most aligned with peace.
And whenever you're ready,invite God into that moment, ask
for new eyes.
You might be surprised at whatyou begin to see.
You can start with thoughtslike this God, help me evaluate
(14:39):
this moment with your eyes, orhelp me see what I'm not seeing,
or help me respond with grace,even when it's hard.
So, whether you approach thisfrom a practical place or a
spiritual one, this step ofevaluation is for everyone,
(15:00):
because everyone can benefitfrom access to peace, even in
stress, even in conflict, evenin traffic.
Thanks for spending this timewith me today.
Join me next time as we explorethe next step in the journey
toward peace appreciation.
Peace isn't a distantdestination.
(15:20):
It's a practice, a posture, away of seeing.
Wherever you are today, howeveryou've been feeling lately, you
are invited to press pause andthen evaluate with kindness.
Let that be your practice thisweek and you'll begin to find
peace right there, in the spacebetween stimulus and response,
(15:45):
between stimulus and response.
All right, thank you forjoining me today on Inviting
Peace.
If this episode spoke to you,I'd love for you to follow and
share it with someone who wantsto take action to bring a little
more peace into their life.
As you know, I'm a peace coachand I invite you to visit my
(16:06):
website at jonathan-halecom tobook some time with me.
Remember, peace is not passive,it's a practice and you're not
alone on the journey.
Until next time, be kind toyourself and keep seeking peace.
I'm Jonathan Hale, and this is your invitation to seek
, find and keep peace in yourlife, even when life feels
anything but peaceful.
Welcome to the Inviting Peacepodcast.
This is a space for reflection,grounded truth and simple,
powerful ideas to help you findcalm in the chaos.
(00:39):
No hype, no fluff, just realtalk about what it takes to
cultivate peace from the insideout.
Whether you're in a period ofstress, in a season of searching
, or simply want to grow inclarity and stillness, this is
for you.
So take a breath, let's begin.
(01:02):
Take a breath, let's begin.
So let's pick up where we leftoff in our last episode, where
we talked about pressing thepause button on stress.
If you missed that one, you maywant to go back and give it a
listen, because each of thesesteps builds on the last.
We explored the power of thepause, how hitting the pause
(01:27):
button in the middle of stressis often the most important step
toward finding peace.
But what comes after the pause?
That's what today's episode isall about, because once we pause
, once we've created that momentof space between the stimulus
and our response, we arrive at anew crossroad, and that
(01:48):
crossroad is where the secondstep of the peace framework
begins.
Evaluate Now.
I want you to think of a timewhen you've reacted to something
quickly, maybe impulsively, andthen later regretted it.
We've all been there.
Maybe you fired off a text toofast or spoke out of frustration
before hearing the full story,or jumped to conclusions based
(02:10):
on very limited information.
It's okay.
Again, you're human.
But evaluating before we reactis how we begin to grow beyond
our autopilot patterns.
It's how we move from survivalmode into something more
intentional.
So what does evaluate reallymean?
(02:31):
Simply put, it's the practiceof asking better questions
before taking action.
It's stepping into that pauseand using it not just breathe,
but to think clearly.
And here's the key.
Evaluating doesn't requireperfection.
It doesn't mean obsessing oroverthinking every detail.
(02:53):
It means getting curious beforeyou get reactive.
I often invite clients toconsider this in real time.
Here are just a few simpleevaluation questions you can ask
yourself when stress hits,what's actually happening right
now?
What story am I telling myselfabout this?
(03:13):
Is my reaction matching thereality of the moment or the
intensity of my emotion?
What's within my control rightnow?
What do I actually want as anoutcome here?
These questions help us turn onour higher reasoning, the
thoughtful, compassionate, adultpart of our brain instead of
(03:34):
letting stress pull us intoknee-jerk territory.
Now, I know that in the heat ofthe moment, these kinds of
questions can feel out of reach,so let's talk about how to
practice this skill.
One technique I recommend iswhat I call mental space
clearing.
When something triggers you,instead of reacting right away,
(03:57):
you take 60 seconds and mentallystep back from the situation,
like a camera pulling out from ascene.
Ask yourself what would I seefrom the outside, looking in?
What else could be true here?
Am I responding to this momentor to something old and
unresolved that this moment hasstirred up?
(04:18):
That last one is powerfulbecause so often our reactions
are not just about this moment,they're about the last hundred
that felt similar.
Let's take an example.
Say your partner snaps at youafter a long day.
Your first instinct might be tosnap back or shut down, but in
the pause, if you evaluate, youmight realize they're probably
(04:42):
just exhausted.
It's not a personal attack.
You're already feeling raw fromyour own work stress.
What you really want isconnection, not conflict.
That quick scan, those fewseconds of evaluation, can save
you hours of tension later.
To evaluate means to step backand examine what's really
(05:05):
happening both outside of us andinside of us.
It's the process of shiftingfrom being reactive to being
intentional, and that shift,however small it may seem, can
be transformative.
Let's consider another real lifeexample.
Imagine you receive a short,blunt text from a co-worker that
(05:26):
just says I need those numbersnow.
No context, no greeting, justthat your body tightens.
You feel your heart rateincrease, maybe you even mutter
something under your breath.
Your instinct might be torespond with equal sharpness,
something like I'll get to itwhen I can.
But if you pause and thenevaluate, you might ask why did
(05:51):
this message trigger me?
Am I interpreting tone thatisn't actually there?
What might they be dealing withon their end?
What response aligns with thekind of professional I want to
be?
Suddenly, instead of escalatingthe tension, you have a chance
to lower it.
You might reply sure thing Doyou need it by a specific time
(06:13):
today?
That kind of response invitesclarity, diffuses assumptions
and keeps the door open forcollaboration.
Here's the key takeawayEvaluation helps us move from
fiction to reality.
We often react not to what'sactually happening but to the
story we've told ourselves aboutwhat's happening.
(06:35):
Evaluation invites curiosity,and curiosity is one of the most
underrated tools in thepeace-building process.
It's like walking into a darkroom and fumbling around instead
of flipping on the light switch.
Evaluation is that switch.
It helps you see what's reallythere instead of reacting to
shadows.
(06:56):
Let's examine another commonexample.
You're stuck in traffic.
You're going to be late.
You're gripping the wheeltighter with every red light.
You could let stress take over,clench your jaw, curse under
your breath, honk at the personin front of you who definitely
could have made it through thatlight.
Or you could pause, thenevaluate with this quick
(07:20):
internal Q& A Is thereanything I can do to change this
traffic?
No, what am I making this meanthat I'm irresponsible?
That I'll ruin the meeting?
What's actually true?
I'll be a few minutes late.
I can let them know.
(07:41):
What do I need right now?
A deep breath, maybe somecalming music.
See the shift.
Evaluating allows you to reclaimyour agency.
It helps you steer not the carbut your internal compass toward
peace.
And it's not just aboutdiffusing stressful moments.
(08:02):
Evaluation can also amplify joyand gratitude.
Maybe your child is asking amillion questions while you're
trying to cook dinner.
You feel that edge ofirritation rising.
But if you pause and evaluate,you might realize this is
curiosity, this is connectionand suddenly dinner prep becomes
(08:26):
a shared moment instead of asolo stress.
So, whether it's a blunt text,a traffic jam or an inquisitive
child, evaluation is yourinvitation to ask better
internal questions before youoffer a response.
It gives you a moment to checkin with your values.
It reminds you that you are notyour first impulse.
(08:48):
It equips you to respond inalignment with who you want to
be.
And when you make evaluating ahabit, you create an internal
environment that's more stable,more grounded and much less
reactive.
You become the calm in thestorm, not by avoiding the
weather, but by understandingthe patterns behind it.
(09:12):
Let's take this one level deeper.
We've talked about evaluatingin practical, everyday ways.
Now I want to invite you toevaluate through a spiritual
lens, to not just ask what'sgoing on here, but what am I
being invited to see differently?
There's an instructive phrasefound in scripture by hearing,
(09:35):
ye shall hear and shall notunderstand, and seeing, ye shall
see and shall not perceive.
Sometimes we need new eyes, notjust new answers.
Sometimes we need new eyes, notjust new answers.
When we invite God, or whatevername you use for a higher power
, into our moments of stress, webegin to see more clearly.
(09:56):
We don't just evaluatecircumstances, we evaluate what
they're shaping in us.
Let's go back to that co-workerexample.
Maybe they weren't just abrupt,maybe they're overwhelmed,
maybe they're worried abouttheir job, maybe they're
carrying burdens you can't seeas you prayerfully consider how
(10:18):
to respond.
You're not just managingconflict, you're becoming a
peacemaker.
Jesus also taught Blessed arethe peacemakers, for they shall
be called the children of God.
Being a peacemaker is notpassive, it's active, deliberate
(10:38):
work.
To be a peacemaker is to chooselove in the face of tension or
conflict.
To evaluate with spiritual eyesis to ask what does love
require of me here?
Sometimes the answer isgentleness, sometimes it's
patience, sometimes it's settinga boundary, but it's always
rooted in peace, not incontention.
(10:58):
Now, I know some of youlistening may not identify as
spiritual or religious.
That's okay, you don't have touse my language.
You can translate it into yourown framework.
Maybe, instead of asking whatis God inviting me to see, you
ask what would the wisest, mostgrounded version of me notice?
(11:18):
Here the point is to shiftperspective, to widen the lens.
When we evaluate from thatdeeper place, we find meaning,
not just solutions.
There's another passage inscripture that states man
looketh on the outwardappearance, but the Lord looketh
on the heart.
This verse reminds me that whenI evaluate a situation, I can
(11:43):
choose to look deeper, withGod's help.
Deeper than appearances, deeperthan surface level offense,
deeper than my need to be right.
When we invite God into ourevaluation, something shifts.
We stop asking how do I winthis argument and we start
asking what would love do here?
(12:04):
What would love do here?
When we pray, god, help me seethis person as you do, we often
see not just their actions buttheir pain and what may be
driving their actions, andsuddenly our response becomes
more compassionate, not weak andnot passive, but anchored in
(12:28):
peace instead of fueled by ego.
So maybe next time you feelstressed or triggered, take a
spiritual pause and ask what'sreally going on here.
God, is there something youwant me to learn in this moment?
Am I reacting from fear orresponding from love?
What would bring more peace,not just for me, but for
(12:48):
everyone involved?
Sometimes the most powerfulevaluation isn't intellectual,
it's prayerful.
Don't worry so much aboutgetting it all figured out.
It's about being willing to seethe situation and yourself
through a gentler, more eternallens, and that's what I believe
true peace invites us into Notjust calmer thoughts, but
(13:11):
clearer vision.
Not just emotional regulation,but spiritual revelation.
So let's bring all of thistogether.
You paused.
That was step one.
And now, in the stillness, youevaluate.
Not to overanalyze, not to staystuck, but to respond wisely and
(13:32):
intentionally.
And whether you're doing thatfrom a strictly practical place
or through a lens of faith,evaluation makes room for wisdom
.
It means slowing down in aworld that wants you to rush.
It means asking thoughtfulquestions when it would be
easier to shut down or blow up.
It means choosing clarity overchaos, even when chaos is
(13:57):
working hard to pull you in.
And here's the beautiful part nomatter your background, no
matter your belief system, nomatter how reactive you've been
in the past, you can start thistoday.
You can begin with a singlepause and in that pause you can
ask what am I really reacting to?
(14:17):
What matters most here?
What response feels mostaligned with peace?
Feels most aligned with peace.
And whenever you're ready,invite God into that moment, ask
for new eyes.
You might be surprised at whatyou begin to see.
You can start with thoughtslike this God, help me evaluate
(14:39):
this moment with your eyes, orhelp me see what I'm not seeing,
or help me respond with grace,even when it's hard.
So, whether you approach thisfrom a practical place or a
spiritual one, this step ofevaluation is for everyone,
(15:00):
because everyone can benefitfrom access to peace, even in
stress, even in conflict, evenin traffic.
Thanks for spending this timewith me today.
Join me next time as we explorethe next step in the journey
toward peace appreciation.
Peace isn't a distantdestination.
(15:20):
It's a practice, a posture, away of seeing.
Wherever you are today, howeveryou've been feeling lately, you
are invited to press pause andthen evaluate with kindness.
Let that be your practice thisweek and you'll begin to find
peace right there, in the spacebetween stimulus and response,
(15:45):
between stimulus and response.
All right, thank you forjoining me today on Inviting
Peace.
If this episode spoke to you,I'd love for you to follow and
share it with someone who wantsto take action to bring a little
more peace into their life.
As you know, I'm a peace coachand I invite you to visit my
(16:06):
website at jonathan-halecom tobook some time with me.
Remember, peace is not passive,it's a practice and you're not
alone on the journey.
Until next time, be kind toyourself and keep seeking peace.
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