Pedro & Claudia Part 2 of 3: When Panic Attacks Disrupt the Whole Family

Anxiety attacks are not something we ever want to see our kids suffer through, especially if as parents we suffer them as well. In her second session with Pedro and Claudia, Leslie explores panic attacks and how they might differ from parent and child. The session also takes a turn towards the idea of “having the last word,” and what negative things are being reinforced when you continue to have this power struggle with your child. 

Time Stamps

• 4:58 How panic attacks affect the whole family in different and unique ways
  • Symptoms of panic attacks in a child vs parent
  • The hangover of the panic attack
  • The role of a person whose partner is suffering a panic attack
• 10:22 The difference between guilt and shame
• 12:23 Feelings come and feelings go 
• 13:13 Definition of panic attack.
• 15:18 Self talk skills help you when having a panic attack. Use these phrases:
  • “I am safe. I am capable.”
  • “Feelings come and feelings go”  “This too shall pass”
• 17:00 Understand the cause of panic attacks 
• 17:13 Develop skills before during and after panic attacks 
• 19:23 Sympathetic versus parasympathetic nervous system 
• 20:48 T.I.P.P.Skills to use to calm down the nervous system: 
  • The divers reflex Skill
  • Intense exercise Skill
  • Paced breathing Skill
• 27:35 Finding the middle path between acceptance and change —
• 28:45 When parents practice doing less as an antidote to overparenting
• 32:12 Kids and parents who want the last word - a power struggle
• 32:20 Discuss the skills you are using with your child and even with the school so everyone is on the same page
• 35:00 When having the last word works
• 36:22 Why parents engage in the power struggle of wanting the last word
• 38:12 Have faith that what you say “registers somewhere”
• 39:30 Parents have to remember that you don’t have to prove your own sense of personal authority without getting the last word
• 40:10 Reframing where the control lies. You want to have control over your own emotions
• 40:38 Overparenting is a strategy when parents are being controlled by their fears

Show Note Links:

NIH Research Article on Panic Disorder and Best Practices

TIPP Skills including a Video of Divers reflex skill

Leslie Demonstrates How to use the Diver Reflex Skill on Video

New York Times Article about Inside Out 2

Leslie-ism: When you feel panic coming on, tell yourself, “I am safe and I am capable”.

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and