October 16, 2025 • 47 mins
What if your breakthrough doesn’t come from pushing harder, but from reclaiming joy as your operating system? We sit down with strategist and licensed therapist Nicole Van Valen, founder of Keen Insights and author of The Joyful Leader, to explore a practical path out of burnout and into purpose-driven performance. Nicole brings 25+ years across healthcare, behavioral health, and corporate leadership, blending mental health expertise with real-world tools leaders can use when the calendar is packed and the pressure is high.
We start by naming the traps—perfectionism, people pleasing, and the grind reflex—that keep high performers stuck in toxic environments. Nicole shares how she cultivated a “second battery” outside of work through dance and creativity, and why joy must be built, not waited on. You’ll learn the Joy Menu technique to lower friction in stressful moments, a simple three-breath reset you can use mid-meeting, and a clear distinction between happiness (event-based) and joy (internally cultivated). The conversation anchors on Nicole’s Ready–Set–Go framework: Ready to rediscover yourself and recharge, Set to design your landscape and boundaries, and Go to deliver aligned results without sacrificing your well-being.
Along the way, we dive into psychological safety, resilient cultures, and why service and philanthropy expand your capacity to lead. Nicole’s stories—from boardrooms to community projects in South Africa—highlight how purpose fuels energy, creativity, and follow-through. If success still feels heavy, this is your invitation to shift from surviving to thriving, to swap grit-only tactics for a sustainable strategy that restores clarity, connection, and courage.
Want more conversations like this? Subscribe, share the episode with a friend who needs a lift, and leave a quick review to help others find the show. Then tell us: what’s the first item on your Joy Menu today?
Get ready to break free from obstacles and live life on your terms!
Are you readdy to create and design your best life?
If so, click the link here.
To make sure you never miss an episode, make sure you subscribe to the podcast and head on over to www.cassandracrawley.com and join our mailing list.
Are you ready to create and design your best life on your terms?
If so, click here and schedule a complimentary discovery call with Cassandra. https://www.cassandracrawley.com/discovery-call
If this podcast helped you rethink whether you are living your best life on your terms, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review to help more women find it.
To get a copy of my debut book, "Is Your Way in Your Way", visit https://www.cassandracrawley.com/book
To get a copy of my brand-new book, "Is Your Way In Your Way", visit https://www.cassandracrawley.com/book
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cassandracrawleymayo
- Website: https://www.cassandracrawley.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cassandra_crawleymayo/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cassandracrawley/
- YouTube: https://cassandracrawleymayo
- x: https://www.tiktok.com/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cassandra (00:00):
Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like
to welcome you to Is Your Way inYour Way?
And for those new listeners outthere, that actually is the
title of my book, Is Your Way inYour Way.
So I'm like, why not use thesame title for my podcast?
And also let me kind of sharewith you what it's all about.
(00:21):
These are for what I callpurpose-driven women who feel
emotionally stuck, exhausted,disconnected from your purpose.
Um, and and we like to talkabout topics like
self-improvement, about womenempowerment.
And through these podcasts,they're like transformational
(00:44):
self-discovery that anchors youin real talk.
I call it real talk, realconversation, faith and purpose
that's aligned so that you willbegin to live be what else let
me try to try that again fromliving behind your self-imposed
barriers that's preventing youfrom living your best life on
(01:07):
purpose.
And because I indicated that wetalk about self-improvement,
women empowerment, our topictoday is your way is in your way
until you reclaim joy as astrategy.
Check this out, joy.
So let me ask you a question.
What if the key to yourbreakthrough wasn't working
harder, but reclaiming your joy?
(01:29):
So I say, welcome back, youguys, to Is Your Way in Your
Way, where we will unpack themindsets and behaviors that keep
women stuck.
So today's exercise is not justabout burnout, it's about
rebirth.
So I'm joined by Nicole VanValen, a powerhouse strategist
(01:50):
and the founder of KeenInsights, who helps
high-performing leaders do theunthinkable, slow down, realign,
and lead from a place ofstrength and survival.
So if you've been wondering whysuccess still feels heavy, or
why you leading others isdreaming, is draining the life
(02:10):
out of you.
This episode will flip yourscript.
So, but maybe, just maybe yourway is in your way until you
reclaim joy as your strategy.
So, guys, let's dive in and I'mgoing to introduce you to
Nicole Van Valen.
Hi, Nicole.
Hello, thank you for having me,Cassandra.
(02:32):
This is wonderful.
I am so glad that you are myguest today.
I want to I can't wait to hearabout this joy and because I I
have a question.
What's the difference betweenjoy and and um and happiness?
But before I start asking youthose questions, I want to read
your bio so that the listenerswill understand what qualifies
(02:54):
you to do the things that youdo.
Now, as we indicated, nowNicole is a joyful leader.
She's a resilient strategist,workplace culture transformer,
and the dynamic force behindKeen Insights.
Check that out.
With 25 plus years ofexperience across healthcare,
(03:15):
behavioral health, and evenprofessional sports.
Nicole fuses mental healthexpertise with leadership
strategies to help organizationsturn burnout into breakthrough.
She is a licensed therapist, asenior certified professional,
and a former Miami Dolphinscheerleader and a Miami, my
(03:38):
Miami heat dancer.
She brings contagious energy toeveryone, whether coaching a
C-suite team or speaking fromthe stage.
Nicole's mantra is simple butpowerful.
Resilience is a mindset and joyis the strategy.
She's also the author of TheJoyful Leader and Trusted
(03:59):
Advisor to mission-drivenorganizations ready to boost
engagement, cut turnover, andbuild high-performing,
psychologically safe cultures.
Whether you're leading a teamor leading your life, Nicole
helps you do it with joy.
Wow, that's powerful.
I can't wait to get into this.
(04:19):
Hey, let me ask you though,what was life like before you
became the founder and CEO ofKeen Insight?
Like, what's your backstory?
What was going on back then?
Nicole (04:32):
Before all this, before all of this, I went I went to
school, grad school forpsychology.
You know, so when I when I wasgrowing up, I'm from the
Caribbean, from the Bahamas.
Everyone's either a doctor or alawyer.
So don't like blood.
So I said, okay, I'll be alawyer.
Okay.
I went to school pre-law.
(04:53):
Um decided that I didn't reallywant to spend all my time in
the courtroom and arguing.
So I decided to fall back onpsychology.
That was my major psychologyand philosophy.
Uh, and then I did a lot ofwork in the mental health field.
One of the one of the roles Ihad was at Women in Distress,
helping women and um childrenthat were witnessing domestic
(05:18):
violence or going through it orare part of dating violence.
And in that role, I was atraining specialist.
So I was able to go out in thecommunity, train doctors,
nurses, lawyers for theircontinuing education unit
credits on domestic violence.
And that's when I got bit bythe bug of loving to give
presentations and positivelyimpacting others and my nerd
(05:42):
side of myself educating.
So I got bit by that bug.
Um, so I was doing that, andthen eventually I opened my own
private practice when I movedout to California, and I was,
you know, giving family therapyfrom ages, I would just say zero
to elderly, just anyone thatneeded any assistance.
(06:03):
I did that for a little bit,and I did all kinds of things in
mental health.
Eventually, I went into thecorporate world.
I worked for an insurancecompany, helping people that had
mental health concerns andgetting them back to work.
So I did that type of workwithin corporate and decided,
(06:24):
you know, I and I was alwaysgiving presentations off the
side of my desk.
I always raised my hand tovolunteer to give presentations
and then decided that um, youknow what, I want to do this all
the time.
So I moved over to learning andperformance, whereas training
nurses and mental healthprofessionals on a new system,
which I find hilarious becauseI'm always trying to catch up on
(06:48):
technology, but I enjoyed theinteracting with other human
beings and helping them along.
So that was fun.
So one of the things I would dois no one wanted to be with me
for a week from nine to five,learning how to use a new
system.
So I would tell dad jokesduring those trainings, lighten
the mood, get some laughter,bring in some joy along the way.
(07:11):
And when I got on the businessside of things, I moved from
learning and performance to thebusiness side for an EAP program
within the organization.
And um I would work withcross-functional teams in the
C-suite, high-level executives,and I would still bring in the
dad jokes, but I would make sureit tied into the business that
(07:33):
we had to discuss at hand.
And that lightened the mood aswell, and we could brainstorm a
little bit more.
So I've weaved in this threadthroughout my career of joy, of
laughter, of connection, andmaking something greater than it
was when we we began together.
Cassandra (07:53):
Okay.
Nicole (07:54):
So I did all of that type of work in corporate
America.
My last role before building myown business was helping small
businesses do business withlarge organizations.
And that's where I was able totap into um coaching and
mentoring executives.
Cassandra (08:11):
Okay.
Nicole (08:12):
Helping them, um, some of them helping them learn how
to delegate, learn how to haveempathy in working with their
employees, learning how to hire,learning how to connect and
pitch to large companies.
So I did a lot of that type ofwork as well.
And and then I would also givepresentations at conferences.
(08:33):
I love that.
So I did one at a woman'sconference, a panel.
I was on a panel.
Okay.
Walked off the stage.
There was a line of women whowere touched by what we talked
about.
We were talking about mentalwell-being.
Yeah.
Women executives that had theirown.
That feeling of making apositive impact, only being on
(08:57):
stage for an hour with otherexperts, completely lit me up.
And I said, I want to do thisall the time, not just once a
week.
Absolutely.
I am going to start my ownbusiness.
I am going to open keepinsights and I am going to get
out there and talk aboutresilience and talk about it
from joy because everyone talksabout it like grit.
(09:19):
You have to be hard, have atraumatic life, be miserable and
push through everything.
I'm like, well, where's the joyin this?
Like, why, if I want to movefrom A to Z, why does it have to
be so miserable all the time?
Right.
Exactly.
Where I came up with um KeenInsights, because it's this is a
(09:41):
place where people can come andget information and knowledge
and where they can betransformed and take that out,
that K, that knowledge.
And the eye for insights islike that individual human being
can take that information andtake it out into the world and
impact others, or thatorganization, or that team can
(10:03):
do it and carry it on.
So that's kind of that's a longone, long-winded answer to your
question about this.
Cassandra (10:12):
Yeah, you've done, you've done a lot.
Now, let me ask you this joy.
Um, you know, a lot of mylisteners may heard this story,
and they may say, Well, she'skind of always had it going on.
Like she didn't, she didn'treally go through a lot.
And, you know, what's what Imean, this joy, where did where
(10:34):
did all that come from?
Um, because you know, at timesin our life, many of us, all of
us, are in our way.
So what happened?
Like, what where did this joyand this energy come from?
I know a lot of it comes fromwhat you're doing because you
love what you do.
But in the beginning, you know,your story sounds like a
(10:57):
storybook.
Like, this is great.
What I mean, tell us somethingthat because what we want to do
is help people get out of theirway, you know, because you know,
they have these self-imposedbarriers that just prevent them
from moving forward.
Like you knew, okay, you didthe psychology, the mental
health, and all of that.
(11:17):
But how did you um I understandhow you figured out your sweet
spot, but prior to that, tellthem I don't want you, I don't
want no sad story or anything.
What did you have to overcometo get where you are today?
What happened?
Nicole (11:36):
You want to know what happened?
Let me tell you what happened.
Okay.
I I would say I'm um arecovering workaholic and
recovering perfectionist andrecovering people pleaser.
Okay.
That combination in a incertain corporate environments
(11:59):
where it could be very toxicheavy.
And I'm walking into thatthinking, my manager is gonna
help lift me up and help meadvance my career, and I can
climb up the corporate ladder.
Yeah, my team members are gonnabe like family and we're gonna
wrap around each other, we'regonna strategize, and we are
going to uplift our team and ourorganization and impact the
(12:22):
community.
Like we're in this together.
However, I was faced with a lotfaced a lot of times in various
toxic environments where I justkept pushing and pushing and
pushing and hitting a wall.
Okay.
In an in an environment thatwasn't healthy for me.
Cassandra (12:45):
Okay.
Nicole (12:46):
And a lot of times I was getting in my own way because I
was wanting other people tochange.
I was wanting other people tothink and behave differently.
Um, and I had to come to thisaha moment of it's not their
responsibility.
(13:06):
Like to be resilient is my ownresponsibility.
And how am I going to do that?
Am I going to remain in thisenvironment and change who I am?
Remain in this environment andchange how I operate, remain in
the environment and change theway that I think.
Or am I going to get out of theenvironment and go and plant
myself in soil that is where Ican grow and thrive, where I am
(13:31):
valued, where I can be nurtured,where I can look at my actual
self and who I am and the valuethat I bring.
And people want that.
So to me, it took me goingthrough years and years, because
I would think, okay, I'm cominginto this organization, I'm
(13:54):
taking on this role.
Oh, this manager is not sonice.
I don't know what's going on intheir world, but I'm not
feeling good here.
Right.
It's that manager's fault.
I am going to move over to thisorgan, this um team.
Cassandra (14:06):
Okay.
Nicole (14:07):
And at first it's great because I'm the fresh eyes, I'm
challenging the status quo.
I want to make things better,and that's what I get brought on
for.
And then there's some, thenthere's, but some people don't
like so much change, and maybenot at the pace that I'm going
at for that change, because I'ma futurist.
So I'm I'm looking out thereand I'm like, okay, beeline
(14:29):
there.
So with that, I was um facedwith a lot of challenges.
Cassandra (14:36):
Okay.
Nicole (14:37):
And um, and it was difficult for me to face that,
knowing that this is what I wasbrought in for, and then trying
to navigate and understand thepolitics and all of that.
So I could say for one of myroles, I would have to go to my
husband and say, This is what'shappening.
What actual language should Iuse to communicate what I'm
(15:02):
trying to say?
Because, like I told you, I'mfrom a Caribbean background,
Bahamas.
It's got a British um cultureto it, and the way we speak, the
way we write, the way we think.
So my husband's American.
So he would look at, I'm like,this is the email I'm gonna
send.
Can you look at this?
And is this politicallycorrect?
And be like, well, you know,you're given that such and such,
(15:25):
that could come off umnegative.
I'm like, but this is how Ispeak.
Cassandra (15:30):
Uh-huh.
Nicole (15:30):
So it was all me trying to fit in to various cultures
has was difficult.
Um and then uh yeah, so I wouldthink being in those toxic
environments and trying to makepositive change has been um a
difficulty.
And at the same time,maintaining my level of energy,
(15:54):
maintaining my internal joydespite what's going on around
me.
And that's what helped mecreate this ready-set go model
that I formulated that I use sothat other people can use it
whenever there's a change or achallenge.
Cassandra (16:08):
Yeah, and I asked that question because, like I
indicated earlier, uh,listeners, before we even came
on, that we had a lot ofsimilarities.
I was a workaholic, and I stillam.
I'm I'm I'm working towards it,a perfectionist.
Everything had to be correct,and it would take me a long time
(16:30):
to do things because I itwasn't perfect.
And yet I wanted to pleasepeople.
And I'm certain many of thosecharacteristics that you have,
listeners, how do you get fromthere to where Nicole is?
And that's why I wanted her toshare because people, yeah, you
know, she, you know, I hearpeople say, Yeah, she was born
(16:50):
with a silver spoon and blah,blah, blah, blah.
But no, not necessarily.
She found out what it was thatshe wanted to do.
So, yeah, she probably had awhole lot of limiting beliefs, a
lot of she was stuck, you know,she needed a resource.
She asked her husband.
So I just don't want anybody tothink that the things and the
(17:13):
success that we say we had waswe had because we had to
overcome, we had to get out ofour way, and it wasn't easy.
And also working with themental health, and it sounds
like you worked in that capacitywhen mental health was taboo.
We don't talk about mentalhealth because oh my god,
(17:36):
something's wrong with them,they can't be in that
environment.
Um, did you while you weredealing with that and working
with individuals like that, wasit a common denominator while
people were dealing with mentalstruggles?
Like what was going on?
Nicole (17:52):
A lot of it is a lot of it when people are have come to
me, it's someone else sayingthey need to have therapy.
Okay, and and or or they mayhave identified that something's
going on that's difficult forthem and they seek it out.
A lot of times it would bethrough um EAP, employee
(18:16):
assistance program, where theycome in for coaching because
there's a disruption going on inthe workplace, or they have to
lay people off and they'rehaving a difficult time, or they
just got laid off and they'rehaving so it's some type of
change, some type of challengethat they feel is outside of
their control.
(18:36):
And many of the discussions isabout okay, a lot of things have
happened that you couldn'tcontrol.
Let's start to identify some ofthe things that you can
control.
And out of those things, wheredo we want to focus on that
could have the biggest impactfor you to to kind of skyrocket
you out of where you are towhere you want to go?
(18:57):
And then we can we can trackthat and have some milestones
along the way.
Um, so I think that when youbreak things down like that, it
doesn't seem so overwhelming.
Okay, you're standing now andand where you want to go.
Cassandra (19:16):
Okay, okay, because you are the secret weapon I hear
against burnout, disengagement,and work workplace chaos.
So you are the the resiliencecoach, and I think that is on
that, I think that's great.
And you know, and a lot of usthat that work and you know, and
(19:38):
trying to climb the ladder orwhatever we're trying to do, we
struggle with that.
So it was great that you werein that capacity to help
individuals get through that.
And I say that for my listenersbecause perhaps, you know, as
as Nicole said, a lot of peoplecame to her because someone
suggested that they needed acoach.
(20:00):
And that's okay.
You know, don't be ashamed ofthat.
Be uh don't be unapologeticabout that.
If that's gonna help yousupport you and get to from
point A to point B, then that'swhat that's what you have to do.
Now, I want to talk about um,because what you what I'm
hearing is like resilience is amindset, you know.
(20:23):
Um and it is, but you said joyis the strategy behind that.
Explain what that means.
Nicole (20:34):
Okay, let me I'll give you a story.
So while I was trying to climbthis corporate ladder, right?
Ups and downs of that, lookingback, I realized what my
resilience resource was duringthat time, and that was dance.
So you mentioned before that Iused to be a cheerleader and a
dancer professionally.
(20:55):
So in doing that in the sportsarea, I was doing that while I
was climbing the corporateladder.
Okay, so that wasn't my wholework, my my work environment was
not my whole entire world.
I had another world going onalongside it.
And looking back, that was myres my that was my joy, dance
(21:16):
and cheer.
So I was able to tap intosomething that lit me up outside
of a toxic work environment.
That was my release.
So I was like, huh, this isinteresting.
Now that I'm older, you know,I'm not dancing everywhere, I'll
dance in the room, dance aroundabout I started to ask myself,
(21:40):
okay, so what are things that Ireally enjoy doing?
Drinking a nice cup of hot chaitea.
I love just having that quiettime for 10-15 minutes, going
out in the back and and plantingmy roses and smelling them and
my fruit tree.
So they're different thingsthat doesn't mean you have to do
something extravagant andtravel the world.
(22:00):
There are simple things you cando that will bring you some
sense of joy, and everyone's joyis different, right?
Because during COVID, when thatcame down, you know, from my
mental health background, I'mlike, okay, we need to have a
plan and a schedule, and we'regonna do yoga at 7 a.m.
And we did that, and theneverybody's like, I don't like
yoga, and I'm not a morningperson.
(22:21):
I didn't like it.
After a while, nobody liked it.
So we all figured out, okay,what are our things?
I was walking my dog around theblock with a mask on, my
husband was playing board games,the boys are playing video
games with their friends.
My daughter, you know, orderedart stuff from Amazon and she
started doing art.
Cassandra (22:38):
Uh-huh.
Nicole (22:38):
We all did different things, but when we came
together, we were re-energized.
So we have movie night andre-energize.
So it's individual things thatyou like to do that light you
up, that ignites you,re-energizes you, and then it
equips you to go and make animpact in your culture, at your
(22:58):
house, at work, whatever,wherever you're communing with
other people, and then you cango and deliver on whatever goals
that you have set for yourself.
So there's another way that'sdifferent than the grit and
grind that we think of withresilience, because that grit
and grind actually adds moreburnout and sleepless nights.
So, how can we refreshourselves, be joyful, and get
(23:25):
things done?
Cassandra (23:26):
Yes, I love that.
I love that because when Ithink about my workaholic self
back in the day, I didn't doanything that I enjoyed.
I just worked.
I just worked and I worked andI got burnt out, I got
overwhelmed.
And then also, many, my many ofmy listeners are aware I was
(23:46):
always the firstAfrican-American female in my
roles.
So I felt that I have to proveto them at that point back in
that day that I am qualified todo this job.
And I never got an opportunityto sit down and think about
well, what do I enjoy?
But I love what you said foryou, my listeners.
Think about what is it that youenjoy doing.
(24:08):
Work is not everything.
I mean, uh, hey, speaking tothe choir, work is not
everything, which that's all Iever did.
So I love that that strategy.
Um, uh, and though, and so thatwas probably one of the ways
that you supported your clientsin alleviating stress, is to
(24:28):
find out from them what else isit in their life that they enjoy
doing.
And like you said, everybody'sdifferent.
Nicole (24:35):
Everyone's different, and sometimes people don't know
what they like.
So don't be don't be surprisedif you can't think of something
that you enjoy.
So, this is where I craftedthis joy menu that I utilize
with people.
It's a process to help themactually think about what brings
them joy, writing it down.
(24:57):
So when you're in the midst ofa change or a challenge and it's
so difficult, sometimes ourbrain is not functioning.
We can't think clearly whenthat happens.
You can just look at that joymenu, point, you can close your
eyes and point, and whatever youpoint to, pick that thing and
you put that in your schedule.
You write it down in yourschedule and give yourself time.
(25:19):
That's part of your self-care,not selfish, walk off time to
focus on that.
And if you still are having adifficult time, I just tell
people to give yourself threeseconds to breathe.
Okay, and I teach them actuallyhow to deep breathe, and that
re-energizes you.
You could be in a stressfulmeeting, don't close your eyes,
(25:43):
but but go through that.
You could go through actuallythe deep breathing exercise
right in front of someone, okay,they don't have to know, and
you will re-center yourself.
I like to give that example oflike, you know, the snow globe,
it's shaking all around, thesnow's chaotically all around
you, but that figure in the snowglobe, it stays fixed, it stays
(26:04):
centered, it stays who theyactually are, and that snow
settles down and they're stillstanding.
Cassandra (26:13):
Yeah.
Nicole (26:14):
So it's okay, you can figure out what is that thing,
what is that piece of joy, orwhat's going to be on your joy
menu menu that you need thatwill help you stay standing.
Cassandra (26:26):
Wow.
Yeah, I like that the joy menu.
So is that part of the threestages along with your
resilience journey, like theframework?
Nicole (26:36):
Yeah, so the framework, it's a ready, set, go framework.
So get ready.
This is where you discoveryourself.
So you discover this is whenyou pull yourself out of the
chaos and you go rediscoveryourself.
You figure out, you go dosomething you enjoy, something
off of your joy menu.
Okay, to get you re-energized.
So that's step one.
(26:56):
Step two is to get set.
This is where you design yourlandscape, you design your
culture, you design how you wantto operate in your re-energize
self, in the workplace, or inyour home environment, or
whichever environment you're inwhere the change occurred.
(27:17):
Now you're back renewed.
You can think clear.
Now you can be at a place towork with other people, listen
and hear what they have to say,the give and back.
You can brainstorm.
There's so many things that canbe created when you're
designing the landscape based onwho you are re-energized, not
(27:38):
who you are burnt out andstressed out.
Cassandra (27:40):
Okay.
Okay.
Nicole (27:41):
And then the third step is you go.
This is where you uh deliver onyour goals.
You are aligned with yourgoals.
So you're aligned with whoyou're re-energized self, you're
aligned with your landscape andthe culture and what you've
designed for yourself, and yougo forward in that and
delivering on your goals.
(28:02):
So that's the ready set gomodel.
Cassandra (28:04):
Okay, okay.
Wow, great.
Um, let's talk about, and youknow, I have a lot of discussion
about even in my book, I talkedabout joy versus happiness.
And for me, I'd rather have joythan be happy.
(28:25):
Is there a difference to youfrom joy versus being happy?
Nicole (28:30):
Oh, I talk about that in my book also.
See, more similarity.
So okay.
Yeah, in my book called TheJoyful Leader.
Uh-huh.
And in the in the beginning ofthe book, I go over what what it
means, all the differentemotions that we go through in
(28:51):
our in our evolution andtransformation and in our
experiences and living in thisworld.
So the cover has a phoenix onit.
And the phoenix's feathers haveall the colors of a rainbow.
That's my logo.
No way.
Isn't that amazing?
Oh my gosh.
Okay, so the the it goes, I'lljust tell you about the the
(29:12):
meanings of the colors reallyquickly.
Absolutely.
So and this is a and this has aspiritual meaning as well.
So red is like that rage thatpeople could feel.
Then it goes to orange, whichis anger that we can feel based
on experiences, and then we gointo the yellow, and that's the
happiness.
So that's when you know you youexperience something and it
(29:35):
makes you elevated, or youexperience something and it
makes you sad or depressed.
So it's that fluctuating moodbased on what's happening
outside of you, and you're howyou respond to something that
goes on.
So that's that's the happiness.
Cassandra (29:53):
Okay.
Nicole (29:54):
And then it goes to green, which is the joy.
Cassandra (29:56):
Uh huh.
Nicole (29:57):
This is the joy that you have inside, kind of.
Like the snow globe, it staysthere within you.
And this is something thatneeds to be nurtured to make
sure that it's it stays there.
So that's why we need tore-energize ourselves to make
sure that we're staying inalignment of who we actually
are.
And that's where that joy is.
It's a it's a source within.
(30:19):
So that's it.
So it doesn't matter where youwhat's going on outside of you.
It can affect you, but youknow, you will have the tools
that you need to remain in joyregardless of what's going on,
because it's internal.
Um, and then you can go withthe next color is blue, which we
call bliss.
So this is beyond joy that youwould feel.
(30:43):
So this is something that'smore um, I would say kind of
like a spiritual, um, it's notcon it's not so much related to
what's going on in front of you,but it's elevating from the
inside, from the joy to bliss.
And then there's purple, whichis beyond bliss, and then it
(31:04):
goes into black, and that's likethe cover of my book is black,
and that goes out into like theuniverse and God and um
unconditional love.
So we're all made, we all gothrough various experiences when
you tap into the level of joy,you're making a conscious
(31:24):
decision to remain there, andthen as you grow in your
spiritual self, as you you growup and rise above the ashes of
the changes and challenges thatare going on in your life, you
can choose where you want toreside, yeah, in the way that
you think and in your actionsand how you speak with others,
(31:48):
your whole entire being, youhave that capacity to choose how
you want to walk in life.
Cassandra (31:57):
Wow, that's powerful.
So that's why, and how youreclaim joy as a strategy.
And uh, what a great analogywhen you talked about the
Phoenix, and they would have toget your book because um, you
know, because how how muchinformation do we retain?
(32:18):
And I think it's power in thecolors, like you talked about
the red, um, but it's is rage,right?
Um, the the orange is which isanger.
Is that what you said?
Yeah, interesting, and that'smy favorite color, so I need to
watch myself, and it's you know,and I always I'm looking at
(32:40):
your orange.
Nicole (32:41):
Your orange is more like looks like it's going into the
orange of like the flames of aof a fire, so it's like
transitioning.
I see exactly good comeback.
Cassandra (32:50):
I like that.
That's right.
The yellow, the green, theblue, the the um, the purple,
and the um what's what the ohthe black, the black, which is
the universe.
I like that, listeners, andthat's why you have to keep
listening to this podcastbecause it will help you
remember, and you have apicture, and it's good to have
(33:12):
something, a picture orsomething, and go over the
colors of the feathers, so tospeak, and also um, I I'd also
rather have joy, and that's theinternal because for me,
happiness is a happening.
Like I was happy the day I gotmarried, you know, that's a
(33:33):
happening, you know.
But what do you do to keep thatjoy inside?
So I love that how um your wayis in your way until you reclaim
uh joy as a strategy.
Wow.
Nicole (33:47):
Yeah, it's amazing, and I want to reference something
you said before because on theoutside, we could look like we
all have it together, right?
Yeah, like I could look atsomeone.
There was a CFO at a retreatthat I gave, and she just on the
outside looked like she had itall together.
She came up to me privately andwas asking me, or letting me
(34:09):
know she hadn't felt joy inmonths, and so much was going on
in her home life, or her teamwas disengaged, and she couldn't
even think about one thing thatbrought her joy.
Cassandra (34:20):
Wow.
Nicole (34:21):
So I was thinking, oh my goodness.
And as I thought about hersituation, that happens to me a
lot too.
I was just actually at a um, Ivolunteered to do this open mic
night, right?
And tell a story.
Cassandra (34:38):
Yeah.
Nicole (34:39):
I was like, why did I do this?
But a friend of mine said, youknow, volunteer for things, do
everything.
So I said, okay, and I did itand I got picked for it.
So I I prepared and I and I didit, and I was telling someone
how nervous I am.
Please come support me and allof that.
So I did it.
Afterwards, she came up to meand she said, I thought you were
nervous.
(34:59):
That was great.
And I go, I was still verynervous.
She goes, but you made it seemlike what you're doing.
I go, I feel like I didn't feellike I knew what I was doing.
I just I put myself out there.
I'm so glad that I did.
So I'm gonna take my friend umas advice and to volunteer for
things.
I did it again the other day.
(35:21):
I volunteered to have um mywebsite looked at, you know,
critiqued.
Cassandra (35:26):
Uh-huh.
Nicole (35:27):
You know, I mean my perfectionist side was like,
it's not ready.
And right, and he was like, Iget to have three experts look
at my website, right?
And give me feedback.
And after the feedback, my youknow, my response was, oh, it
wasn't as bad as I thought.
And then I quote my websitedesigner, I'm like, we need to
(35:48):
meet.
Cassandra (35:49):
I know, isn't that amazing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It reminds me of uh something Ithink my mom used to say to me,
never judge a book by itscover.
I'm like, really?
You know, so you're right, youcan look all of this from the
outside, and that's why I I putright here for social media and
(36:12):
how addictive that is, and howeverybody looks just phenomenal,
but you don't have a clue whatthey are really going through.
So I always say, be you be you,be you.
Wow, what you tell some greatstories.
(36:32):
Um thank you.
Yeah, um, I just I want tohighlight something that you do
that I I admire.
Um, you like you have a cause,like 10%, you commit 10% of your
profits to charitable,charitable causes.
Why do you do that?
And what what was it about theuh impoverished children and
(36:58):
other things you do thatresonated with you?
And I know you talked about inthe beginning, you know, how you
worked with individuals.
So what was that?
Nicole (37:08):
Well, there's a there's an organization called Eku
Kenyani Relief Project, uh-huh,and they help the impoverished
children in South Africa.
So I'm also a spiritual healerand teacher, and we had the
opportunity to go there and givehealings and and be with the
kids in the crushes there.
(37:29):
So they live in Tin Shacks.
Um, the founder, Lisa Rossi,she built schools uh for the
children.
They're able to now help otherwomen, the teachers, build their
own businesses there.
They helped them grow their ownfood at the school so they have
food and be and can take thatfood home and they're nourished.
(37:51):
So I had the opportunity to gothere and be and dance with the
kids and just love them.
And it was the most, other thanhaving um my daughter, my
children, my daughter who Ibirthed, um that was the most
memorable, most enjoyable andbeyond experience in my entire
life.
(38:11):
So, especially with theproceeds from, you know,
percentage of proceeds from mybook goes to helping the
children at the Eco KaniniRelief Project because I hold
them so dear to my heart.
Actually, um, Lisa Rossi is oneof the experts on philanthropy
in my book.
She worked with Nelson MendelMandela um when he was doing his
(38:34):
work there.
So she brings a lot of wisdominto the book as well.
Um, I am the mental healthinitiative chair for Kennedy
Kids Foundation, and they helpsuicidal youth.
So the founder of thatorganization, um their daughter
died by suicide several yearsago, and they started this
(38:55):
foundation and they needed toadd in some more mental health
elements to it.
Cassandra (38:59):
Yeah.
Nicole (39:00):
And so now this is a cause that's really dear to my
heart as well.
Um, and I just rolled off of aboard called um experience camp
for grieving children, grievingkids.
And so they give a free campevery summer to kids, so they
raise money for the kids to goto camp.
So it's like camp that we didwhen we were younger 90% camp,
(39:22):
10% um mental health, and it'sreally impacting the kids.
So I guess children are dear tomy heart in helping.
And um, if there's anything Icould do to help kids, I'm all
I'm all about that.
And other than the thatphilanthropy work, some of the
other things we like to do withthe family is, and my mom
(39:44):
started this tradition, is wekeep goodies in the car.
So granola bars, water, snacks,and things like that.
If we see someone on the sideof the road that needs
something, we give, you know, wegive them this food.
And I'll tell you about mydaughter when she was younger.
She we were driving in myparents' neighborhood and she
saw someone with a backpack.
She's like, mommy, pull over.
(40:05):
I want to give him a snack.
I go, honey, that's a studentwalking home from school, but
that's so kind of you.
Yeah.
No, he might want a snack.
We could ask him.
Uh-huh.
We love we, I think um, it's inmy DNA to to help and serve
others.
It's and now I'm doing itintentionally, making sure I
(40:26):
preserve my energy and giving toothers in a proper way who want
to receive.
Cassandra (40:31):
Yeah, that's good.
I think that's great.
And I wanted you to bring thatout because you know, you you
talked about the joy and findingjoy and things you like to do,
you're actually giving back.
And when you do all of thosethings, like you're doing, you
get your your mind off of selfbecause you're giving and you're
(40:54):
pouring out to others.
But when we see focused onthat's okay, my listeners know
about my dog too.
That's all right.
He's like, okay, mommy, it'stime to hang up.
Yeah, and so I I appreciate Iwanted you to bring that up so
individuals will know, you know,you know, once you define, and
(41:18):
that's my thing, is living yourbest life on your terms, and
define for yourself, and that'swhat I do in my my my rise
journey program, is to definewhat is it um personally and
professionally, what will ittake for you to start living
your best life on your terms?
(41:38):
And I just think that'swonderful, and I and just
listening to you, it sounds likeyou're there because I always
ask my my clients and people Irun into on a scale of one to
ten, ten being the highest,where would you rate yourself
and living your best life onyour terms?
And the answers I get areamazing.
The people with the uh look atme like, what?
(42:02):
You know, and don't even know.
So they're really so I love itbecause it's clear on what it is
that you're loving what you'redoing, you're clear on what you
want to give to, why you'regiving back.
So it's not all about you, it'sall about, it's also about
others.
So definitely.
Nicole (42:20):
And that's one of the things I talk about in my book,
too, is how powerfulvolunteering is.
That's how I was able to climbcorporate ladder was through
volunteering.
That's and that's how I'm ableto build my career, you know, as
an entrepreneur is by givingback as well.
Cassandra (42:36):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Nicole, this has beenwonderful.
I um for my my listeners whoare stuck and trying to get out
of their way, and it and a lotof them don't even know they're
in their way.
And I'm just hopeful that thethings that you shared that they
(42:57):
realize that you know what?
I am in my way.
I overwork, I got everythinghas to be right.
I'm so worried about what otherpeople think, or I'm in a toxic
environment.
And like you said, being inthat, you were like, you made a
decision.
This is really not what I wantto do.
This is really not where I wantto be.
And you activated it, youexecuted it.
And that's the thing you haveto take action.
(43:18):
So, is there anything that youlike to share with my listeners
before we wrap up about thembeing in their way?
Nicole (43:25):
Yes, I would like for them to ask themselves if they
are just powering through orjust things, or are they
actually performing in theirlives with a sense of purpose?
And when they answer thatquestion for themselves, then
they're no longer feeling likethey're just surviving.
They're gonna feel like they'rethriving in what they need to
(43:48):
do and look at themselves andsee where they need to put in
some more joy into their life.
Um, one of the tools, a helpfultool that I like to give away
complimentary, is this sphere ofresilience assessment.
So they can find it on mywebsite, they can take the
assessment and it'll let youknow what areas you're doing
(44:10):
amazing with in resilience, andthen some other areas of
opportunity that you may want topay a little bit more attention
to, and then they can come backto your podcast and listen to
episodes that will help them inthose areas, or they can go to
my book and dive deep into thoseareas to uplift them.
So there's if you're feelingstuck, there is a way out.
(44:34):
Yeah, and there's resourcesaround you.
Cassandra (44:36):
Absolutely.
So, how can my listeners get intouch with you and and find
your website?
What's your website?
Nicole (44:42):
Yes, so my website is keeninsights.com.
So www k e a n e I n s-i-g-h ts dot com.
If you want to contact me, youcan just go to that same email,
I mean same link and do slashcontact, and you can reach out
(45:04):
to me and let me know how it canbe helpful.
I'll give you my email.
You can email me.
I'd love to hear from you afteryou hear this episode and let
us know what you think at Nicoleat Keeninsights.com.
You can email me there.
So I would say those on oh, andyou can connect with me on
LinkedIn, Nicole Van Galen.
Yeah, I put a lot of greatcontent out there, and I'd love
(45:25):
to connect and and just get toknow you guys a little bit more.
Cassandra (45:29):
Yeah, you do have great content.
Well, Nicole, thank you so muchfor being my guest.
Uh, it was an honor for me.
And as I told my listeners, youdefinitely have heard some
things that resonated with you,but I bet it will resonate with
some of the people that youknow.
So I I ask you to take actionand share.
(45:51):
Okay, share it with individualsso that you can be a blessing
to them.
And as I always say, Nicole, tomy guests, I always say, bye
for now.
God bless you and I love you.
And again, Nicole, thank you somuch.
You were Jewel.
Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like
to welcome you to Is Your Way inYour Way?
And for those new listeners outthere, that actually is the
title of my book, Is Your Way inYour Way.
So I'm like, why not use thesame title for my podcast?
And also let me kind of sharewith you what it's all about.
(00:21):
These are for what I callpurpose-driven women who feel
emotionally stuck, exhausted,disconnected from your purpose.
Um, and and we like to talkabout topics like
self-improvement, about womenempowerment.
And through these podcasts,they're like transformational
(00:44):
self-discovery that anchors youin real talk.
I call it real talk, realconversation, faith and purpose
that's aligned so that you willbegin to live be what else let
me try to try that again fromliving behind your self-imposed
barriers that's preventing youfrom living your best life on
(01:07):
purpose.
And because I indicated that wetalk about self-improvement,
women empowerment, our topictoday is your way is in your way
until you reclaim joy as astrategy.
Check this out, joy.
So let me ask you a question.
What if the key to yourbreakthrough wasn't working
harder, but reclaiming your joy?
(01:29):
So I say, welcome back, youguys, to Is Your Way in Your
Way, where we will unpack themindsets and behaviors that keep
women stuck.
So today's exercise is not justabout burnout, it's about
rebirth.
So I'm joined by Nicole VanValen, a powerhouse strategist
(01:50):
and the founder of KeenInsights, who helps
high-performing leaders do theunthinkable, slow down, realign,
and lead from a place ofstrength and survival.
So if you've been wondering whysuccess still feels heavy, or
why you leading others isdreaming, is draining the life
(02:10):
out of you.
This episode will flip yourscript.
So, but maybe, just maybe yourway is in your way until you
reclaim joy as your strategy.
So, guys, let's dive in and I'mgoing to introduce you to
Nicole Van Valen.
Hi, Nicole.
Hello, thank you for having me,Cassandra.
(02:32):
This is wonderful.
I am so glad that you are myguest today.
I want to I can't wait to hearabout this joy and because I I
have a question.
What's the difference betweenjoy and and um and happiness?
But before I start asking youthose questions, I want to read
your bio so that the listenerswill understand what qualifies
(02:54):
you to do the things that youdo.
Now, as we indicated, nowNicole is a joyful leader.
She's a resilient strategist,workplace culture transformer,
and the dynamic force behindKeen Insights.
Check that out.
With 25 plus years ofexperience across healthcare,
(03:15):
behavioral health, and evenprofessional sports.
Nicole fuses mental healthexpertise with leadership
strategies to help organizationsturn burnout into breakthrough.
She is a licensed therapist, asenior certified professional,
and a former Miami Dolphinscheerleader and a Miami, my
(03:38):
Miami heat dancer.
She brings contagious energy toeveryone, whether coaching a
C-suite team or speaking fromthe stage.
Nicole's mantra is simple butpowerful.
Resilience is a mindset and joyis the strategy.
She's also the author of TheJoyful Leader and Trusted
(03:59):
Advisor to mission-drivenorganizations ready to boost
engagement, cut turnover, andbuild high-performing,
psychologically safe cultures.
Whether you're leading a teamor leading your life, Nicole
helps you do it with joy.
Wow, that's powerful.
I can't wait to get into this.
(04:19):
Hey, let me ask you though,what was life like before you
became the founder and CEO ofKeen Insight?
Like, what's your backstory?
What was going on back then?
Nicole (04:32):
Before all this, before all of this, I went I went to
school, grad school forpsychology.
You know, so when I when I wasgrowing up, I'm from the
Caribbean, from the Bahamas.
Everyone's either a doctor or alawyer.
So don't like blood.
So I said, okay, I'll be alawyer.
Okay.
I went to school pre-law.
(04:53):
Um decided that I didn't reallywant to spend all my time in
the courtroom and arguing.
So I decided to fall back onpsychology.
That was my major psychologyand philosophy.
Uh, and then I did a lot ofwork in the mental health field.
One of the one of the roles Ihad was at Women in Distress,
helping women and um childrenthat were witnessing domestic
(05:18):
violence or going through it orare part of dating violence.
And in that role, I was atraining specialist.
So I was able to go out in thecommunity, train doctors,
nurses, lawyers for theircontinuing education unit
credits on domestic violence.
And that's when I got bit bythe bug of loving to give
presentations and positivelyimpacting others and my nerd
(05:42):
side of myself educating.
So I got bit by that bug.
Um, so I was doing that, andthen eventually I opened my own
private practice when I movedout to California, and I was,
you know, giving family therapyfrom ages, I would just say zero
to elderly, just anyone thatneeded any assistance.
(06:03):
I did that for a little bit,and I did all kinds of things in
mental health.
Eventually, I went into thecorporate world.
I worked for an insurancecompany, helping people that had
mental health concerns andgetting them back to work.
So I did that type of workwithin corporate and decided,
(06:24):
you know, I and I was alwaysgiving presentations off the
side of my desk.
I always raised my hand tovolunteer to give presentations
and then decided that um, youknow what, I want to do this all
the time.
So I moved over to learning andperformance, whereas training
nurses and mental healthprofessionals on a new system,
which I find hilarious becauseI'm always trying to catch up on
(06:48):
technology, but I enjoyed theinteracting with other human
beings and helping them along.
So that was fun.
So one of the things I would dois no one wanted to be with me
for a week from nine to five,learning how to use a new
system.
So I would tell dad jokesduring those trainings, lighten
the mood, get some laughter,bring in some joy along the way.
(07:11):
And when I got on the businessside of things, I moved from
learning and performance to thebusiness side for an EAP program
within the organization.
And um I would work withcross-functional teams in the
C-suite, high-level executives,and I would still bring in the
dad jokes, but I would make sureit tied into the business that
(07:33):
we had to discuss at hand.
And that lightened the mood aswell, and we could brainstorm a
little bit more.
So I've weaved in this threadthroughout my career of joy, of
laughter, of connection, andmaking something greater than it
was when we we began together.
Cassandra (07:53):
Okay.
Nicole (07:54):
So I did all of that type of work in corporate
America.
My last role before building myown business was helping small
businesses do business withlarge organizations.
And that's where I was able totap into um coaching and
mentoring executives.
Cassandra (08:11):
Okay.
Nicole (08:12):
Helping them, um, some of them helping them learn how
to delegate, learn how to haveempathy in working with their
employees, learning how to hire,learning how to connect and
pitch to large companies.
So I did a lot of that type ofwork as well.
And and then I would also givepresentations at conferences.
(08:33):
I love that.
So I did one at a woman'sconference, a panel.
I was on a panel.
Okay.
Walked off the stage.
There was a line of women whowere touched by what we talked
about.
We were talking about mentalwell-being.
Yeah.
Women executives that had theirown.
That feeling of making apositive impact, only being on
(08:57):
stage for an hour with otherexperts, completely lit me up.
And I said, I want to do thisall the time, not just once a
week.
Absolutely.
I am going to start my ownbusiness.
I am going to open keepinsights and I am going to get
out there and talk aboutresilience and talk about it
from joy because everyone talksabout it like grit.
(09:19):
You have to be hard, have atraumatic life, be miserable and
push through everything.
I'm like, well, where's the joyin this?
Like, why, if I want to movefrom A to Z, why does it have to
be so miserable all the time?
Right.
Exactly.
Where I came up with um KeenInsights, because it's this is a
(09:41):
place where people can come andget information and knowledge
and where they can betransformed and take that out,
that K, that knowledge.
And the eye for insights islike that individual human being
can take that information andtake it out into the world and
impact others, or thatorganization, or that team can
(10:03):
do it and carry it on.
So that's kind of that's a longone, long-winded answer to your
question about this.
Cassandra (10:12):
Yeah, you've done, you've done a lot.
Now, let me ask you this joy.
Um, you know, a lot of mylisteners may heard this story,
and they may say, Well, she'skind of always had it going on.
Like she didn't, she didn'treally go through a lot.
And, you know, what's what Imean, this joy, where did where
(10:34):
did all that come from?
Um, because you know, at timesin our life, many of us, all of
us, are in our way.
So what happened?
Like, what where did this joyand this energy come from?
I know a lot of it comes fromwhat you're doing because you
love what you do.
But in the beginning, you know,your story sounds like a
(10:57):
storybook.
Like, this is great.
What I mean, tell us somethingthat because what we want to do
is help people get out of theirway, you know, because you know,
they have these self-imposedbarriers that just prevent them
from moving forward.
Like you knew, okay, you didthe psychology, the mental
health, and all of that.
(11:17):
But how did you um I understandhow you figured out your sweet
spot, but prior to that, tellthem I don't want you, I don't
want no sad story or anything.
What did you have to overcometo get where you are today?
What happened?
Nicole (11:36):
You want to know what happened?
Let me tell you what happened.
Okay.
I I would say I'm um arecovering workaholic and
recovering perfectionist andrecovering people pleaser.
Okay.
That combination in a incertain corporate environments
(11:59):
where it could be very toxicheavy.
And I'm walking into thatthinking, my manager is gonna
help lift me up and help meadvance my career, and I can
climb up the corporate ladder.
Yeah, my team members are gonnabe like family and we're gonna
wrap around each other, we'regonna strategize, and we are
going to uplift our team and ourorganization and impact the
(12:22):
community.
Like we're in this together.
However, I was faced with a lotfaced a lot of times in various
toxic environments where I justkept pushing and pushing and
pushing and hitting a wall.
Okay.
In an in an environment thatwasn't healthy for me.
Cassandra (12:45):
Okay.
Nicole (12:46):
And a lot of times I was getting in my own way because I
was wanting other people tochange.
I was wanting other people tothink and behave differently.
Um, and I had to come to thisaha moment of it's not their
responsibility.
(13:06):
Like to be resilient is my ownresponsibility.
And how am I going to do that?
Am I going to remain in thisenvironment and change who I am?
Remain in this environment andchange how I operate, remain in
the environment and change theway that I think.
Or am I going to get out of theenvironment and go and plant
myself in soil that is where Ican grow and thrive, where I am
(13:31):
valued, where I can be nurtured,where I can look at my actual
self and who I am and the valuethat I bring.
And people want that.
So to me, it took me goingthrough years and years, because
I would think, okay, I'm cominginto this organization, I'm
(13:54):
taking on this role.
Oh, this manager is not sonice.
I don't know what's going on intheir world, but I'm not
feeling good here.
Right.
It's that manager's fault.
I am going to move over to thisorgan, this um team.
Cassandra (14:06):
Okay.
Nicole (14:07):
And at first it's great because I'm the fresh eyes, I'm
challenging the status quo.
I want to make things better,and that's what I get brought on
for.
And then there's some, thenthere's, but some people don't
like so much change, and maybenot at the pace that I'm going
at for that change, because I'ma futurist.
So I'm I'm looking out thereand I'm like, okay, beeline
(14:29):
there.
So with that, I was um facedwith a lot of challenges.
Cassandra (14:36):
Okay.
Nicole (14:37):
And um, and it was difficult for me to face that,
knowing that this is what I wasbrought in for, and then trying
to navigate and understand thepolitics and all of that.
So I could say for one of myroles, I would have to go to my
husband and say, This is what'shappening.
What actual language should Iuse to communicate what I'm
(15:02):
trying to say?
Because, like I told you, I'mfrom a Caribbean background,
Bahamas.
It's got a British um cultureto it, and the way we speak, the
way we write, the way we think.
So my husband's American.
So he would look at, I'm like,this is the email I'm gonna
send.
Can you look at this?
And is this politicallycorrect?
And be like, well, you know,you're given that such and such,
(15:25):
that could come off umnegative.
I'm like, but this is how Ispeak.
Cassandra (15:30):
Uh-huh.
Nicole (15:30):
So it was all me trying to fit in to various cultures
has was difficult.
Um and then uh yeah, so I wouldthink being in those toxic
environments and trying to makepositive change has been um a
difficulty.
And at the same time,maintaining my level of energy,
(15:54):
maintaining my internal joydespite what's going on around
me.
And that's what helped mecreate this ready-set go model
that I formulated that I use sothat other people can use it
whenever there's a change or achallenge.
Cassandra (16:08):
Yeah, and I asked that question because, like I
indicated earlier, uh,listeners, before we even came
on, that we had a lot ofsimilarities.
I was a workaholic, and I stillam.
I'm I'm I'm working towards it,a perfectionist.
Everything had to be correct,and it would take me a long time
(16:30):
to do things because I itwasn't perfect.
And yet I wanted to pleasepeople.
And I'm certain many of thosecharacteristics that you have,
listeners, how do you get fromthere to where Nicole is?
And that's why I wanted her toshare because people, yeah, you
know, she, you know, I hearpeople say, Yeah, she was born
(16:50):
with a silver spoon and blah,blah, blah, blah.
But no, not necessarily.
She found out what it was thatshe wanted to do.
So, yeah, she probably had awhole lot of limiting beliefs, a
lot of she was stuck, you know,she needed a resource.
She asked her husband.
So I just don't want anybody tothink that the things and the
(17:13):
success that we say we had waswe had because we had to
overcome, we had to get out ofour way, and it wasn't easy.
And also working with themental health, and it sounds
like you worked in that capacitywhen mental health was taboo.
We don't talk about mentalhealth because oh my god,
(17:36):
something's wrong with them,they can't be in that
environment.
Um, did you while you weredealing with that and working
with individuals like that, wasit a common denominator while
people were dealing with mentalstruggles?
Like what was going on?
Nicole (17:52):
A lot of it is a lot of it when people are have come to
me, it's someone else sayingthey need to have therapy.
Okay, and and or or they mayhave identified that something's
going on that's difficult forthem and they seek it out.
A lot of times it would bethrough um EAP, employee
(18:16):
assistance program, where theycome in for coaching because
there's a disruption going on inthe workplace, or they have to
lay people off and they'rehaving a difficult time, or they
just got laid off and they'rehaving so it's some type of
change, some type of challengethat they feel is outside of
their control.
(18:36):
And many of the discussions isabout okay, a lot of things have
happened that you couldn'tcontrol.
Let's start to identify some ofthe things that you can
control.
And out of those things, wheredo we want to focus on that
could have the biggest impactfor you to to kind of skyrocket
you out of where you are towhere you want to go?
(18:57):
And then we can we can trackthat and have some milestones
along the way.
Um, so I think that when youbreak things down like that, it
doesn't seem so overwhelming.
Okay, you're standing now andand where you want to go.
Cassandra (19:16):
Okay, okay, because you are the secret weapon I hear
against burnout, disengagement,and work workplace chaos.
So you are the the resiliencecoach, and I think that is on
that, I think that's great.
And you know, and a lot of usthat that work and you know, and
(19:38):
trying to climb the ladder orwhatever we're trying to do, we
struggle with that.
So it was great that you werein that capacity to help
individuals get through that.
And I say that for my listenersbecause perhaps, you know, as
as Nicole said, a lot of peoplecame to her because someone
suggested that they needed acoach.
(20:00):
And that's okay.
You know, don't be ashamed ofthat.
Be uh don't be unapologeticabout that.
If that's gonna help yousupport you and get to from
point A to point B, then that'swhat that's what you have to do.
Now, I want to talk about um,because what you what I'm
hearing is like resilience is amindset, you know.
(20:23):
Um and it is, but you said joyis the strategy behind that.
Explain what that means.
Nicole (20:34):
Okay, let me I'll give you a story.
So while I was trying to climbthis corporate ladder, right?
Ups and downs of that, lookingback, I realized what my
resilience resource was duringthat time, and that was dance.
So you mentioned before that Iused to be a cheerleader and a
dancer professionally.
(20:55):
So in doing that in the sportsarea, I was doing that while I
was climbing the corporateladder.
Okay, so that wasn't my wholework, my my work environment was
not my whole entire world.
I had another world going onalongside it.
And looking back, that was myres my that was my joy, dance
(21:16):
and cheer.
So I was able to tap intosomething that lit me up outside
of a toxic work environment.
That was my release.
So I was like, huh, this isinteresting.
Now that I'm older, you know,I'm not dancing everywhere, I'll
dance in the room, dance aroundabout I started to ask myself,
(21:40):
okay, so what are things that Ireally enjoy doing?
Drinking a nice cup of hot chaitea.
I love just having that quiettime for 10-15 minutes, going
out in the back and and plantingmy roses and smelling them and
my fruit tree.
So they're different thingsthat doesn't mean you have to do
something extravagant andtravel the world.
(22:00):
There are simple things you cando that will bring you some
sense of joy, and everyone's joyis different, right?
Because during COVID, when thatcame down, you know, from my
mental health background, I'mlike, okay, we need to have a
plan and a schedule, and we'regonna do yoga at 7 a.m.
And we did that, and theneverybody's like, I don't like
yoga, and I'm not a morningperson.
(22:21):
I didn't like it.
After a while, nobody liked it.
So we all figured out, okay,what are our things?
I was walking my dog around theblock with a mask on, my
husband was playing board games,the boys are playing video
games with their friends.
My daughter, you know, orderedart stuff from Amazon and she
started doing art.
Cassandra (22:38):
Uh-huh.
Nicole (22:38):
We all did different things, but when we came
together, we were re-energized.
So we have movie night andre-energize.
So it's individual things thatyou like to do that light you
up, that ignites you,re-energizes you, and then it
equips you to go and make animpact in your culture, at your
(22:58):
house, at work, whatever,wherever you're communing with
other people, and then you cango and deliver on whatever goals
that you have set for yourself.
So there's another way that'sdifferent than the grit and
grind that we think of withresilience, because that grit
and grind actually adds moreburnout and sleepless nights.
So, how can we refreshourselves, be joyful, and get
(23:25):
things done?
Cassandra (23:26):
Yes, I love that.
I love that because when Ithink about my workaholic self
back in the day, I didn't doanything that I enjoyed.
I just worked.
I just worked and I worked andI got burnt out, I got
overwhelmed.
And then also, many, my many ofmy listeners are aware I was
(23:46):
always the firstAfrican-American female in my
roles.
So I felt that I have to proveto them at that point back in
that day that I am qualified todo this job.
And I never got an opportunityto sit down and think about
well, what do I enjoy?
But I love what you said foryou, my listeners.
Think about what is it that youenjoy doing.
(24:08):
Work is not everything.
I mean, uh, hey, speaking tothe choir, work is not
everything, which that's all Iever did.
So I love that that strategy.
Um, uh, and though, and so thatwas probably one of the ways
that you supported your clientsin alleviating stress, is to
(24:28):
find out from them what else isit in their life that they enjoy
doing.
And like you said, everybody'sdifferent.
Nicole (24:35):
Everyone's different, and sometimes people don't know
what they like.
So don't be don't be surprisedif you can't think of something
that you enjoy.
So, this is where I craftedthis joy menu that I utilize
with people.
It's a process to help themactually think about what brings
them joy, writing it down.
(24:57):
So when you're in the midst ofa change or a challenge and it's
so difficult, sometimes ourbrain is not functioning.
We can't think clearly whenthat happens.
You can just look at that joymenu, point, you can close your
eyes and point, and whatever youpoint to, pick that thing and
you put that in your schedule.
You write it down in yourschedule and give yourself time.
(25:19):
That's part of your self-care,not selfish, walk off time to
focus on that.
And if you still are having adifficult time, I just tell
people to give yourself threeseconds to breathe.
Okay, and I teach them actuallyhow to deep breathe, and that
re-energizes you.
You could be in a stressfulmeeting, don't close your eyes,
(25:43):
but but go through that.
You could go through actuallythe deep breathing exercise
right in front of someone, okay,they don't have to know, and
you will re-center yourself.
I like to give that example oflike, you know, the snow globe,
it's shaking all around, thesnow's chaotically all around
you, but that figure in the snowglobe, it stays fixed, it stays
(26:04):
centered, it stays who theyactually are, and that snow
settles down and they're stillstanding.
Cassandra (26:13):
Yeah.
Nicole (26:14):
So it's okay, you can figure out what is that thing,
what is that piece of joy, orwhat's going to be on your joy
menu menu that you need thatwill help you stay standing.
Cassandra (26:26):
Wow.
Yeah, I like that the joy menu.
So is that part of the threestages along with your
resilience journey, like theframework?
Nicole (26:36):
Yeah, so the framework, it's a ready, set, go framework.
So get ready.
This is where you discoveryourself.
So you discover this is whenyou pull yourself out of the
chaos and you go rediscoveryourself.
You figure out, you go dosomething you enjoy, something
off of your joy menu.
Okay, to get you re-energized.
So that's step one.
(26:56):
Step two is to get set.
This is where you design yourlandscape, you design your
culture, you design how you wantto operate in your re-energize
self, in the workplace, or inyour home environment, or
whichever environment you're inwhere the change occurred.
(27:17):
Now you're back renewed.
You can think clear.
Now you can be at a place towork with other people, listen
and hear what they have to say,the give and back.
You can brainstorm.
There's so many things that canbe created when you're
designing the landscape based onwho you are re-energized, not
(27:38):
who you are burnt out andstressed out.
Cassandra (27:40):
Okay.
Okay.
Nicole (27:41):
And then the third step is you go.
This is where you uh deliver onyour goals.
You are aligned with yourgoals.
So you're aligned with whoyou're re-energized self, you're
aligned with your landscape andthe culture and what you've
designed for yourself, and yougo forward in that and
delivering on your goals.
(28:02):
So that's the ready set gomodel.
Cassandra (28:04):
Okay, okay.
Wow, great.
Um, let's talk about, and youknow, I have a lot of discussion
about even in my book, I talkedabout joy versus happiness.
And for me, I'd rather have joythan be happy.
(28:25):
Is there a difference to youfrom joy versus being happy?
Nicole (28:30):
Oh, I talk about that in my book also.
See, more similarity.
So okay.
Yeah, in my book called TheJoyful Leader.
Uh-huh.
And in the in the beginning ofthe book, I go over what what it
means, all the differentemotions that we go through in
(28:51):
our in our evolution andtransformation and in our
experiences and living in thisworld.
So the cover has a phoenix onit.
And the phoenix's feathers haveall the colors of a rainbow.
That's my logo.
No way.
Isn't that amazing?
Oh my gosh.
Okay, so the the it goes, I'lljust tell you about the the
(29:12):
meanings of the colors reallyquickly.
Absolutely.
So and this is a and this has aspiritual meaning as well.
So red is like that rage thatpeople could feel.
Then it goes to orange, whichis anger that we can feel based
on experiences, and then we gointo the yellow, and that's the
happiness.
So that's when you know you youexperience something and it
(29:35):
makes you elevated, or youexperience something and it
makes you sad or depressed.
So it's that fluctuating moodbased on what's happening
outside of you, and you're howyou respond to something that
goes on.
So that's that's the happiness.
Cassandra (29:53):
Okay.
Nicole (29:54):
And then it goes to green, which is the joy.
Cassandra (29:56):
Uh huh.
Nicole (29:57):
This is the joy that you have inside, kind of.
Like the snow globe, it staysthere within you.
And this is something thatneeds to be nurtured to make
sure that it's it stays there.
So that's why we need tore-energize ourselves to make
sure that we're staying inalignment of who we actually
are.
And that's where that joy is.
It's a it's a source within.
(30:19):
So that's it.
So it doesn't matter where youwhat's going on outside of you.
It can affect you, but youknow, you will have the tools
that you need to remain in joyregardless of what's going on,
because it's internal.
Um, and then you can go withthe next color is blue, which we
call bliss.
So this is beyond joy that youwould feel.
(30:43):
So this is something that'smore um, I would say kind of
like a spiritual, um, it's notcon it's not so much related to
what's going on in front of you,but it's elevating from the
inside, from the joy to bliss.
And then there's purple, whichis beyond bliss, and then it
(31:04):
goes into black, and that's likethe cover of my book is black,
and that goes out into like theuniverse and God and um
unconditional love.
So we're all made, we all gothrough various experiences when
you tap into the level of joy,you're making a conscious
(31:24):
decision to remain there, andthen as you grow in your
spiritual self, as you you growup and rise above the ashes of
the changes and challenges thatare going on in your life, you
can choose where you want toreside, yeah, in the way that
you think and in your actionsand how you speak with others,
(31:48):
your whole entire being, youhave that capacity to choose how
you want to walk in life.
Cassandra (31:57):
Wow, that's powerful.
So that's why, and how youreclaim joy as a strategy.
And uh, what a great analogywhen you talked about the
Phoenix, and they would have toget your book because um, you
know, because how how muchinformation do we retain?
(32:18):
And I think it's power in thecolors, like you talked about
the red, um, but it's is rage,right?
Um, the the orange is which isanger.
Is that what you said?
Yeah, interesting, and that'smy favorite color, so I need to
watch myself, and it's you know,and I always I'm looking at
(32:40):
your orange.
Nicole (32:41):
Your orange is more like looks like it's going into the
orange of like the flames of aof a fire, so it's like
transitioning.
I see exactly good comeback.
Cassandra (32:50):
I like that.
That's right.
The yellow, the green, theblue, the the um, the purple,
and the um what's what the ohthe black, the black, which is
the universe.
I like that, listeners, andthat's why you have to keep
listening to this podcastbecause it will help you
remember, and you have apicture, and it's good to have
(33:12):
something, a picture orsomething, and go over the
colors of the feathers, so tospeak, and also um, I I'd also
rather have joy, and that's theinternal because for me,
happiness is a happening.
Like I was happy the day I gotmarried, you know, that's a
(33:33):
happening, you know.
But what do you do to keep thatjoy inside?
So I love that how um your wayis in your way until you reclaim
uh joy as a strategy.
Wow.
Nicole (33:47):
Yeah, it's amazing, and I want to reference something
you said before because on theoutside, we could look like we
all have it together, right?
Yeah, like I could look atsomeone.
There was a CFO at a retreatthat I gave, and she just on the
outside looked like she had itall together.
She came up to me privately andwas asking me, or letting me
(34:09):
know she hadn't felt joy inmonths, and so much was going on
in her home life, or her teamwas disengaged, and she couldn't
even think about one thing thatbrought her joy.
Cassandra (34:20):
Wow.
Nicole (34:21):
So I was thinking, oh my goodness.
And as I thought about hersituation, that happens to me a
lot too.
I was just actually at a um, Ivolunteered to do this open mic
night, right?
And tell a story.
Cassandra (34:38):
Yeah.
Nicole (34:39):
I was like, why did I do this?
But a friend of mine said, youknow, volunteer for things, do
everything.
So I said, okay, and I did itand I got picked for it.
So I I prepared and I and I didit, and I was telling someone
how nervous I am.
Please come support me and allof that.
So I did it.
Afterwards, she came up to meand she said, I thought you were
nervous.
(34:59):
That was great.
And I go, I was still verynervous.
She goes, but you made it seemlike what you're doing.
I go, I feel like I didn't feellike I knew what I was doing.
I just I put myself out there.
I'm so glad that I did.
So I'm gonna take my friend umas advice and to volunteer for
things.
I did it again the other day.
(35:21):
I volunteered to have um mywebsite looked at, you know,
critiqued.
Cassandra (35:26):
Uh-huh.
Nicole (35:27):
You know, I mean my perfectionist side was like,
it's not ready.
And right, and he was like, Iget to have three experts look
at my website, right?
And give me feedback.
And after the feedback, my youknow, my response was, oh, it
wasn't as bad as I thought.
And then I quote my websitedesigner, I'm like, we need to
(35:48):
meet.
Cassandra (35:49):
I know, isn't that amazing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It reminds me of uh something Ithink my mom used to say to me,
never judge a book by itscover.
I'm like, really?
You know, so you're right, youcan look all of this from the
outside, and that's why I I putright here for social media and
(36:12):
how addictive that is, and howeverybody looks just phenomenal,
but you don't have a clue whatthey are really going through.
So I always say, be you be you,be you.
Wow, what you tell some greatstories.
(36:32):
Um thank you.
Yeah, um, I just I want tohighlight something that you do
that I I admire.
Um, you like you have a cause,like 10%, you commit 10% of your
profits to charitable,charitable causes.
Why do you do that?
And what what was it about theuh impoverished children and
(36:58):
other things you do thatresonated with you?
And I know you talked about inthe beginning, you know, how you
worked with individuals.
So what was that?
Nicole (37:08):
Well, there's a there's an organization called Eku
Kenyani Relief Project, uh-huh,and they help the impoverished
children in South Africa.
So I'm also a spiritual healerand teacher, and we had the
opportunity to go there and givehealings and and be with the
kids in the crushes there.
(37:29):
So they live in Tin Shacks.
Um, the founder, Lisa Rossi,she built schools uh for the
children.
They're able to now help otherwomen, the teachers, build their
own businesses there.
They helped them grow their ownfood at the school so they have
food and be and can take thatfood home and they're nourished.
(37:51):
So I had the opportunity to gothere and be and dance with the
kids and just love them.
And it was the most, other thanhaving um my daughter, my
children, my daughter who Ibirthed, um that was the most
memorable, most enjoyable andbeyond experience in my entire
life.
(38:11):
So, especially with theproceeds from, you know,
percentage of proceeds from mybook goes to helping the
children at the Eco KaniniRelief Project because I hold
them so dear to my heart.
Actually, um, Lisa Rossi is oneof the experts on philanthropy
in my book.
She worked with Nelson MendelMandela um when he was doing his
(38:34):
work there.
So she brings a lot of wisdominto the book as well.
Um, I am the mental healthinitiative chair for Kennedy
Kids Foundation, and they helpsuicidal youth.
So the founder of thatorganization, um their daughter
died by suicide several yearsago, and they started this
(38:55):
foundation and they needed toadd in some more mental health
elements to it.
Cassandra (38:59):
Yeah.
Nicole (39:00):
And so now this is a cause that's really dear to my
heart as well.
Um, and I just rolled off of aboard called um experience camp
for grieving children, grievingkids.
And so they give a free campevery summer to kids, so they
raise money for the kids to goto camp.
So it's like camp that we didwhen we were younger 90% camp,
(39:22):
10% um mental health, and it'sreally impacting the kids.
So I guess children are dear tomy heart in helping.
And um, if there's anything Icould do to help kids, I'm all
I'm all about that.
And other than the thatphilanthropy work, some of the
other things we like to do withthe family is, and my mom
(39:44):
started this tradition, is wekeep goodies in the car.
So granola bars, water, snacks,and things like that.
If we see someone on the sideof the road that needs
something, we give, you know, wegive them this food.
And I'll tell you about mydaughter when she was younger.
She we were driving in myparents' neighborhood and she
saw someone with a backpack.
She's like, mommy, pull over.
(40:05):
I want to give him a snack.
I go, honey, that's a studentwalking home from school, but
that's so kind of you.
Yeah.
No, he might want a snack.
We could ask him.
Uh-huh.
We love we, I think um, it's inmy DNA to to help and serve
others.
It's and now I'm doing itintentionally, making sure I
(40:26):
preserve my energy and giving toothers in a proper way who want
to receive.
Cassandra (40:31):
Yeah, that's good.
I think that's great.
And I wanted you to bring thatout because you know, you you
talked about the joy and findingjoy and things you like to do,
you're actually giving back.
And when you do all of thosethings, like you're doing, you
get your your mind off of selfbecause you're giving and you're
(40:54):
pouring out to others.
But when we see focused onthat's okay, my listeners know
about my dog too.
That's all right.
He's like, okay, mommy, it'stime to hang up.
Yeah, and so I I appreciate Iwanted you to bring that up so
individuals will know, you know,you know, once you define, and
(41:18):
that's my thing, is living yourbest life on your terms, and
define for yourself, and that'swhat I do in my my my rise
journey program, is to definewhat is it um personally and
professionally, what will ittake for you to start living
your best life on your terms?
(41:38):
And I just think that'swonderful, and I and just
listening to you, it sounds likeyou're there because I always
ask my my clients and people Irun into on a scale of one to
ten, ten being the highest,where would you rate yourself
and living your best life onyour terms?
And the answers I get areamazing.
The people with the uh look atme like, what?
(42:02):
You know, and don't even know.
So they're really so I love itbecause it's clear on what it is
that you're loving what you'redoing, you're clear on what you
want to give to, why you'regiving back.
So it's not all about you, it'sall about, it's also about
others.
So definitely.
Nicole (42:20):
And that's one of the things I talk about in my book,
too, is how powerfulvolunteering is.
That's how I was able to climbcorporate ladder was through
volunteering.
That's and that's how I'm ableto build my career, you know, as
an entrepreneur is by givingback as well.
Cassandra (42:36):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Nicole, this has beenwonderful.
I um for my my listeners whoare stuck and trying to get out
of their way, and it and a lotof them don't even know they're
in their way.
And I'm just hopeful that thethings that you shared that they
(42:57):
realize that you know what?
I am in my way.
I overwork, I got everythinghas to be right.
I'm so worried about what otherpeople think, or I'm in a toxic
environment.
And like you said, being inthat, you were like, you made a
decision.
This is really not what I wantto do.
This is really not where I wantto be.
And you activated it, youexecuted it.
And that's the thing you haveto take action.
(43:18):
So, is there anything that youlike to share with my listeners
before we wrap up about thembeing in their way?
Nicole (43:25):
Yes, I would like for them to ask themselves if they
are just powering through orjust things, or are they
actually performing in theirlives with a sense of purpose?
And when they answer thatquestion for themselves, then
they're no longer feeling likethey're just surviving.
They're gonna feel like they'rethriving in what they need to
(43:48):
do and look at themselves andsee where they need to put in
some more joy into their life.
Um, one of the tools, a helpfultool that I like to give away
complimentary, is this sphere ofresilience assessment.
So they can find it on mywebsite, they can take the
assessment and it'll let youknow what areas you're doing
(44:10):
amazing with in resilience, andthen some other areas of
opportunity that you may want topay a little bit more attention
to, and then they can come backto your podcast and listen to
episodes that will help them inthose areas, or they can go to
my book and dive deep into thoseareas to uplift them.
So there's if you're feelingstuck, there is a way out.
(44:34):
Yeah, and there's resourcesaround you.
Cassandra (44:36):
Absolutely.
So, how can my listeners get intouch with you and and find
your website?
What's your website?
Nicole (44:42):
Yes, so my website is keeninsights.com.
So www k e a n e I n s-i-g-h ts dot com.
If you want to contact me, youcan just go to that same email,
I mean same link and do slashcontact, and you can reach out
(45:04):
to me and let me know how it canbe helpful.
I'll give you my email.
You can email me.
I'd love to hear from you afteryou hear this episode and let
us know what you think at Nicoleat Keeninsights.com.
You can email me there.
So I would say those on oh, andyou can connect with me on
LinkedIn, Nicole Van Galen.
Yeah, I put a lot of greatcontent out there, and I'd love
(45:25):
to connect and and just get toknow you guys a little bit more.
Cassandra (45:29):
Yeah, you do have great content.
Well, Nicole, thank you so muchfor being my guest.
Uh, it was an honor for me.
And as I told my listeners, youdefinitely have heard some
things that resonated with you,but I bet it will resonate with
some of the people that youknow.
So I I ask you to take actionand share.
(45:51):
Okay, share it with individualsso that you can be a blessing
to them.
And as I always say, Nicole, tomy guests, I always say, bye
for now.
God bless you and I love you.
And again, Nicole, thank you somuch.
You were Jewel.
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.