July 26, 2025 • 47 mins
Johanna Crawford shares her journey from domestic violence survivor to founder of Web of Benefit, which provided grants to help over 10,000 survivors reclaim their lives and define their dreams.
• Developing a "Dream Proposal" methodology that helps women identify career, housing, transportation, travel and self-care dreams
• Moving from thinking small to dreaming big — envisioning the life you truly deserve
• Understanding that self-forgiveness is the foundation for worthiness and self-esteem
• Creating the "pay it forward" model where each grant recipient helps three other survivors
• Recognizing that abuse exists on a spectrum affecting all women in different ways
• Understanding that self-care is an attitude and way of life that most women haven't adopted
• Taking small, actionable steps toward big dreams builds confidence and momentum
• Using the power of community to support women moving from survival to self-sufficiency
To learn more about Johanna's work, visit ittakesawoman.net or email Jo at jo@ittakesawoman.net to explore how you can use the Dream Proposal methodology in your own life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cassandra (00:00):
to welcome you back to Is your Way, in your Way, and
this podcast is where we breakthrough self-imposed barriers or
limiting beliefs may sound morefamiliar for some of you and
step boldly into the life Godhas ordained for us.
I'm your host, cassandraCrawley-Mayo, and today we're
(00:22):
diving into a conversation thatwill inspire and challenge you
to define what's possible inyour life.
Now I have a special guesttoday.
I'm going to introduce her in amoment, but I'd like to tell
you what our topic is we'regoing to talk about.
We all deserve our best life.
(00:44):
Now think about this what if thekey to living your best life is
already in your hands, but fear, doubt or past pain kept you
from using it?
Imagine surviving the darkestmoments of your life and then
turning that pain into purpose,not just for yourself, but for
(01:05):
thousands of others.
So today's guest has doneexactly that.
She is a powerhouse, avisionary and a true example of
what happens when you step intoyour calling, and today she is
here to share how you can unlockthe life that you truly deserve
.
And welcome to the podcast,johanna Crawford.
(01:31):
How are you, jo?
Johanna (01:33):
Oh, thank you so much, and thank you for that very kind
introduction.
Cassandra (01:40):
You're very welcome.
Before we got back on stage formy listeners, we were just
chatting a little bit and I'mpretty excited about this topic.
I've never really had a podcastrelated to this because, guys,
you know, we talk about topicsrelated to self-improvement,
(02:00):
self-development, even businessdevelopment, and it will enable
others to use, have some what Icall some self-reflection, and
I'm also prayerful that,whatever podcast that you listen
to, that this will resonatewith you, will resonate with
maybe one of your friends, andthis is something that you
(02:21):
really must share with them.
So I'm going to give you alittle background on Jo's story
so you can see why she isqualified to talk about.
We all deserve our best life Now.
As I indicated, she's avisionary leader, an advocate
with over 50 years of dedicatedcommunity service.
(02:42):
She's the founder and executivedirector of WOB that stands for
Web of Benefit Incorporated.
She's transformed lives of over10,000 domestic violence
survivors through her innovativedream proposal and pay it
(03:02):
forward programs.
Under her leadership, she hasbeen awarded 2,200 grants across
28 states, forging criticalpartnerships with over 120
agencies and securingrecognition from CNN Heroes, the
purpose prize in theMassachusetts Nonprofit Network,
(03:23):
the Purpose Prize in the.
Massachusetts Nonprofit Network.
Now she's an author of it Takesa Woman to Empower a Woman.
She shares her expertise onguiding women from survival to
self-sufficiency.
Her book provides a powerfulroadmap for reclaiming financial
independence and definingactionable steps toward a
(03:44):
thriving life.
So, with a deep passion forempowerment and an unwavering
commitment to change, shecontinues to be a catalyst for
transformation, proving thatevery woman deserves her best
life.
Wow.
So, Jo, tell my audience aboutyour backstory.
Tell us a little bit about whatwas going on with Jo before she
(04:08):
even started what I would calldedicating her life to community
service.
Johanna (04:15):
Well, the backstory and I think, most women who are
active in the domestic violencefield which I was, Actually I
don't call it domestic violenceanymore, I call it intimate
terrorism, because that's a muchmore just description and those
(04:35):
are not my words and I can'ttell you where they came from,
but because we are terrorized bythose we are most intimate with
partners, family, whatever.
So, anyway, my childhood wasvery angry, very alcoholic and
very abusive.
(04:57):
And my father attempted tomurder my mother when I was 13.
And my brother, who's 14 yearsold uh, four years older than I
am was in the house with me atthe time and we got him off of
her and out, and we three of usnever spoke about it after, but
(05:19):
this was in the late 1950s, soI'm kind of dating myself.
Cassandra (05:23):
Okay.
Johanna (05:24):
But the environment back then was that the police
would come to our house and theywould tell my mother to fix her
marriage.
And a fact I think that a lotof women don't realize is that
until 1975, marital rape waslegal.
(05:45):
I didn't know that horrifying,but anyway.
Um, I did.
Went to college, got married,worked my husband through
graduate school, checked all theright boxes, had kids, did all
those things and realized whichI think a lot of us do when our
kids are gone empty nest thatthere's more to life than maybe
(06:11):
what is in front of us.
And I realized that at about age48 and got divorced.
But it took me until I was 55to realize that I actually could
do something about intimateterrorism in whatever small way
I could.
So I went to volunteer at acrisis shelter actually the
(06:33):
oldest crisis shelter on theEast coast in Boston,
massachusetts and was in thecrisis hotline office two days a
week.
And one of those days a womancalled who had just gotten off
the bus from Chicago with hertwo young kids and she had
learned that we had a room witha bed for her and her two kids.
(06:56):
So I went to pick her up at thesubway stop and she was
standing on the corner with hertwo young kids and a black trash
bag full of all of herbelongings.
And she had gotten on a bus inChicago and she had used every
cent she had to get as far awayas she could go, and that was
(07:17):
Boston, all right.
So I took her back to theshelter and got her into her
room and she came up to theoffice later and she asked if I
could help.
So we talked about what herproblem was and she had fled so
quickly.
She had no driver license, shehad no birth certificates.
(07:37):
So, when you think about it,she did not exist legally.
He was not able to get any kindof help or assistance.
So I asked her what she neededand she said she needed $40 to
send to Chicago, and it'sforbidden for a volunteer to
(08:02):
give a resident money.
But, quite honestly, I've neverbeen very good with rules,
especially with rules.
So I said you know, I'll thinkabout what I can do and I don't
know about you.
But I never have cash in mywallet because it goes somewhere
(08:23):
and I have no idea where itwent.
But, knowing that the universeis always in charge, I looked in
my wallet and there were threetwenty dollar bills that day.
Cassandra (08:33):
Oh my gosh.
Johanna (08:34):
OK.
So as I was leaving for the day, I got her in a dark corner
like doing a drug deal in thecorner the two of us.
Cassandra (08:46):
Yeah.
Johanna (08:46):
I gave her the 220s and I said this is for what you
need in Chicago, but of courseshe was going to need stamps and
envelope and money orders andother things.
So, I gave her the third $20bill and I said use that for
those things and then take yourkids to McDonald's for a treat
(09:08):
after now.
This was this was in the year2003, so McDonald's was probably
more politically correct thanit is today so.
I burst into tears.
I burst into tears and I leftto go home.
And on my way home in a verynice car to a very nice house, I
knew I had to do it in a biggerway.
(09:29):
But I have also always been afor-profit kind of girl, started
and bought and sold severalcompanies.
I knew nothing about nonprofits.
But in a year we were up andrunning and and I started giving
grants.
And I wanted to give grantsbetween $500 and $1,000 to women
(09:57):
after they had been out of theabuse for six months, because it
takes that long to be able todecide what you want to do and
for the first step toward theirbiggest dream.
But of course by then we neededto define what the biggest
dream was.
So we figured out how to dothat and my biggest dream was a
thousand a hundred women for athousand dollars.
(10:19):
I had no idea where I was goingto get $100,000.
I had nothing.
But it turned out.
12 years of work, it was 2,200grants for almost a million five
.
Cassandra (10:36):
Wow, wow, jill, let me ask you when you went to
school during that time you whatdo you say you got a divorce of
, I guess about age 40 something.
You're an empty nester Did youhave any idea of what it was
that you wanted to do?
(10:57):
What were your dreams andaspirations?
Johanna (11:02):
You know, when I started working with survivors,
it occurred to me nobody hadever asked me what my dream was.
My dream had always been myhusband's dream, and he turned
out to be a big gun in thefinancial industry, which
luckily allowed me to haveenough money to start a
(11:26):
nonprofit Sure.
But what I did for work and Istarted a couple of companies
and then I worked in very highend real estate was always
subservient to his needs and thefamily's needs.
Cassandra (11:43):
OK.
Johanna (11:44):
Which at that time was right, but then it wasn't right
anymore.
Cassandra (11:50):
Okay, Okay.
I ask that because for mylisteners, for them to be able
to think about what is it thatthey wanted to do, what are
their dreams and aspirations?
And with you, things changedfor you, you know, and I think
back in those days and evensometimes today, it's all
(12:13):
dependent upon what the spousedoes.
You know, our role we felt wasto always be there for them,
support them.
We are one, and I'm not sayingwe're not, but then what about
us?
Like, if anything happens tothe spouse, then we kind of
struggle with well, what aboutme?
Like, what can I do now?
It's like you don't have yourown life, You're living a life
(12:35):
for somebody else.
So I wanted you to share that,so that individuals know that
it's okay to change and it'sokay to define what your dreams
are and aspirations andunderstand what they are and
what is it that's stopping it.
Johanna (12:51):
so that's why it's not only okay, it's what we deserve.
I mean we are.
We are here to live our ownlives and I'm not saying that,
of course, the women that Iworked with didn't have spouses,
okay, but we are not here tolive somebody else's life.
(13:18):
Right and I think probablystatistics would prove this to
be so is that when childrenleave wherever they go to
college or out to work orwhatever they do and a husband
and a wife are sitting acrossthe dinner table from each other
(13:38):
.
Cassandra (13:39):
Yeah.
Johanna (13:40):
Oftentimes there's something very big missing.
And I think I kept myself verybusy with the family and the
kids and I remember specificallya dinner after a very hard day.
I'd rushed home to create thiswonderful dinner and my husband
got up and said I need to go anddo something in Japan.
(14:01):
He had some customers and withthe time timeframe he had to do
that.
And I'm sitting at the table.
He had eaten his meal before Iever sat down and I'm sitting at
the table saying there issomething more to life than this
and I deserve something more.
And I know we have a limitedamount of time and I know you
(14:23):
have some questions that I'mhappy to answer, but I would
love love to be able to do aquick dream proposal that may
only take five minutes for yourwomen to be able to think that
maybe they deserve the dream andmaybe this is how they could go
about doing it.
Cassandra (14:44):
Okay, okay, I would love that, because not.
And I want to ask you, though,about the grants for a minute
how difficult, or was it, to getgrants?
Johanna (15:00):
Web of Benefit doesn't exist anymore because I retired,
but the way we gave the grantswas it had to be through a
domestic violence advocate.
Cassandra (15:15):
Okay.
Johanna (15:28):
And for women who are in abuse who are listening to
this podcast.
There are state agencies tohelp you.
There are local agencies.
Just Google domestic violenceagencies in your area.
You don't have to live there.
There is community outreach.
These advocates have access toall kinds of other agencies.
Advocates have access to allkinds of other agencies do not
(15:50):
hesitate.
There is help out there for you.
So, because I had worked in thecrisis shelter for two years
before, I started by the benefit.
I knew a lot of women in thenonprofit domestic violence
field in Boston and Cambridge sowhen I started the organization
and I had created the structureof how it would work, I asked
(16:13):
advocates to recommend women tome who they worked with so they
knew their backstory who hadbeen out of the abuse for six
months and their backstory whohad been out of the abuse for
six months and they felt werecapable of deciding what the
first step toward their biggestdream would be.
Because I could not afford tomake mistakes.
(16:36):
We had such limited funding,especially at the beginning, but
funding was always always afight.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Cassandra (16:44):
Okay, yeah, but I'm glad you mentioned, for women
that are listening, or men or orthey can share, that it's that
the States, their agencies, theycan contact.
So, as you indicated, grantsare not as as you indicated,
(17:05):
grants are not easy to get nowbecause they have the states
that can support and help thoseinitiatives.
Johanna (17:14):
There, there was no Organization that did what we
did in the entire United States.
Wow, so that.
And we never gave cash directlyto the woman.
But, for example, we gave asewing machine to a Korean woman
who started her own shop andactually was in negotiations to
(17:40):
buy the building.
That was a $700 sewing machine.
Cassandra (17:45):
Yeah.
Johanna (17:45):
We gave $1,000.
To a man who was going to buildA food cart For a woman in
Chicago.
She now owns three Restaurantsin Chicago.
Cassandra (17:57):
That was $1,000.
Johanna (17:59):
So what I found and I think Hopefully your listeners
will find if you can define whatyour first baby step is towards
your biggest dream, the second,third and millionth step will
(18:19):
show itself itself.
Cassandra (18:29):
And if you have one, person that believes that you
deserve the best and you havethe power to create it.
You can do it, okay, so that'sa great segue to the dream
proposal.
Johanna (18:38):
huh, so everybody will get a piece of paper and a
pencil.
Cassandra (18:42):
Okay, Now for those listeners that are driving.
Please don't do that.
But what you can do, dearlisteners, is just rewind.
You can play this podcast.
The podcast is on every podcastplatform and I think this will
be great for you to come back toit and get that piece of paper
(19:03):
and a pencil.
So we are ready, jill.
Johanna (19:06):
So when you do your dream proposal, you're going to
want to fill in the blanks.
Because we're not going to fillin all the blanks, I'm just
going to tell you the headlinesand you're going to put it on
your refrigerator, so you lookat it every day, okay, and you
need to dream really, really big.
Ok you need to dream out loud.
(19:27):
Tell those people you trust,because you never know where
help will come from.
Ok so you're going to dream big, you're going to dream out loud
and you're going to focus small.
OK one baby step at a time.
It is not rocket science, it issimple.
(19:51):
You have to be good and patientwith yourself.
And one baby step at a time.
So the dream proposal has threeparts.
The first part is what is yourbiggest dream, and that has five
subheadings that we'll gothrough.
The second part is what are thesteps and goals, and the third
(20:15):
part is what is the first stepthat you will take tomorrow.
Cassandra (20:22):
Okay.
Johanna (20:24):
So, for the biggest dream what is your dream career?
For example, I had a woman, aBrazilian woman we did a lot
with translation because therewere a lot of women that didn't
speak English A Brazilian womanwho spoke Portuguese and she had
(20:47):
only finished fifth grade inBrazil and she wanted to be a
doctor.
So we wrote down she wanted tobe.
Actually, she wanted to be apediatrician.
We wrote that down under dreamcareer.
Okay, the second piece iswhat's your dream house?
You may be living in your dreamhouse, but maybe you want
(21:09):
something to be different in thehouse.
But the women that I workedwith a lot of them didn't even
have their own apartments yet.
But we didn't dream aboutapartments.
We dreamed about houses, bigdreams.
Big, big.
So where is the house?
Are you living in the city?
Are you in the country?
Are you in the suburbs?
Are you north?
Are you living in the city?
Are you in the country?
(21:29):
Are you in the suburbs?
Are you north, are you south?
We designed the house.
How many bedrooms, how manybathrooms?
Does it have a pool?
Do you have a dog?
All those things, and you cando dream boards too, which are
really fun Cut out pictures, putthem the, but anyway, design
yourself a house.
With the thought you deserve itand you can do it.
(21:53):
And I'm not saying any of thisis easy, but I have a sign that
I look at, that is in front ofmy laptop right now.
It says think abundantly.
Energy follows intention.
So you are defining theintention for your life on this
(22:14):
simple piece of paper.
Cassandra (22:15):
Okay.
Johanna (22:16):
Okay, so we have.
We have career, we have house.
I'm a crazy car person, so thisis what is your dream car.
And some of the women that Iworked with had two and three
kids and they'd say I want aminivan.
No, you don't want a minivan.
(22:38):
No, minivans are allowed here.
Cassandra (22:41):
If you want a.
Johanna (22:42):
Porsche or a Maserati, or a Ferrari or an Audi Mercedes
yes, no minivans.
Or an Audi Mercedes yes, nominivans.
So fourth piece is dream travel.
I think travel is so importantbecause you get to learn about
other people and other cultures.
The first trip is by yourself.
The second trip is with kids orgrandkids, whatever.
(23:04):
And the last piece, which Ihave to say took me three or
four years to come up with, wasself-care.
Cassandra (23:12):
Okay.
Johanna (23:14):
Because the women that I worked with and so many of us,
especially professional womenwith husband and kids who has
time for self-care?
So a lot of the women didn'thave five minutes to themselves
a day.
And I write this in the bookSelf-care is an attitude, it is
(23:40):
a way of life, and it is anattitude and a way of life that
most women do not have.
We are always putting somebodyelse first and we have been
trained very well to do this.
Cassandra (23:56):
Exactly At a very young age.
Yes.
Johanna (23:59):
So putting yourself first is not selfish.
It actually means that you comefirst and that gives you more
energy and a better attitudetoward helping other people.
And the kind of self-care thatI spoke with to survivors was
(24:22):
not a spa day because theycouldn't afford that.
Cassandra (24:26):
Right, I'm glad you said that.
Johanna (24:27):
It wasn't any of that stuff.
It was take a bubble bath,write in a journal.
Actually, in my book there arelots of journaling prompts and
lots of self-care prompts.
Also lots of affirmations andlots of great quotations by
women and some by men.
(24:48):
So paint your nails, take awalk.
Walking is so important.
It's great exercise, You're outin the fresh air.
So just little things to giveyou even a 15-minute, 20-minute
break.
Cassandra (25:08):
Okay.
Johanna (25:08):
So those are the five pieces of what's your biggest
dream.
Then let's talk about steps andgoals.
I'm going to go back to theBrazilian lady, because she's
such a great example.
So she didn't speak English andshe had only finished fifth
grade.
Cassandra (25:26):
All right.
Johanna (25:27):
So she needed English classes.
But there are free Englishclasses everywhere.
Google free English classes inyour area, but she didn't have
transportation money, so we gaveher six months of subway passes
.
Cassandra (25:47):
Okay.
Johanna (25:48):
But then she needed a laptop to be able to work on her
GED.
I must have bought 800 laptopsfrom Best Buy.
We could get a laptop for $249.
So that was about half of hergrant.
With those two things she gother GED and we paid for her
(26:13):
admission to community college,where she got a free ride.
Oh OK, After community collegeshe got into a four year college
and was working through thatbefore medical school year
college and was working throughthat before medical school.
That is a thousand dollar grantwith a woman who took the first
(26:37):
step of riding on the subway tolearn English.
Cassandra (26:43):
Wow, and she's a pediatrician.
Johanna (26:47):
Well, I last time I lost track of her.
She was finishing four-yearcollege and going on to medical
school.
Cassandra (26:54):
Oh wow, what a great story.
Johanna (26:57):
Yeah, that's a $1,000 grant with an advocate, who was
going to help her the whole time, with a group of women who knew
that she deserved it and knewthat she had the power to do it.
Cassandra (27:12):
That's great.
Johanna (27:16):
Ladies, please, please, believe that you deserve the
best.
One thing I found working inthis field for 12 years, I
thought I'd be working withself-esteem and, yes, there were
self-esteem problems and Ithink all of our self-esteem has
(27:37):
been damaged somewhere alongour lives.
But then I found it wasworthiness, because if we don't
believe that we're worthy thenwe don't believe that we're
worthy of self-esteem.
But, I finally figured out.
The real basis for all of ourbeliefs comes from
(27:59):
self-forgiveness.
I'm not talking aboutself-forgiveness for something
you might have done to oneperson or something awful that
you think you've done.
I'm talking aboutself-forgiveness for everything
(28:21):
we may ever have done or maythink about doing, because we
are human and we are, I believe,doing the best that we can do
with the tools that we have.
And if we can forgive ourselvesfor everything and just say I'm
human, I'm not perfect, I'mvery imperfect, but I still, I
(28:47):
still deserve.
I still deserve to be happy, Istill deserve to be happy, I
still deserve my best life.
Cassandra (28:52):
Wow, that's great.
That's great.
I love the, the dream plan, andI love you had a program called
what pay it forward and yeah,and uh, what was it?
Three survivors helping asurvivor.
Johanna (29:11):
That's one survivor and we had a little agreement that
they had to sign that says Iwill do this, and not only that,
I will report what I've done.
Cassandra (29:20):
Okay.
Johanna (29:23):
I had phenomenal interns who helped do statistics
for me, so we followed thesewomen as long as we could and as
well as we could.
So we helped 2,200 women andeach one of those women had 2.3
children.
So that's like 6,000 women andchildren that we helped, and
(29:49):
each one of the women that wehelped had to help three other
survivors.
And I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about babysitting
or driving to an appointment or,you know, helping with an
application, just one-on-one,but to three women.
So they were touching the livesof three other women.
(30:11):
And those three other women had2.3 kids, so it all added up to
be a huge number of lives thatwere touched.
And we found and I found thiswith 50 years of volunteering
volunteering comes back to you10 times over.
It's really almost a selfishthing.
(30:33):
And being selfish I don't sayit's a bad thing.
It's the selfish thing to helppeople because it feels so good.
So, we found and it became, youknow, almost like a daily thing.
These women are helping so many, more than three because they
(31:07):
knew that they could impact andit was so powerful for them.
Cassandra (31:11):
Right, yeah, yeah.
And it's like you know inscripture you reap what you sell
.
Yeah, and it's like you know inscripture you read what you
sell, and that's so true.
And I was going to ask aquestion.
But I can tell, like, how didyou get women to help other
women?
But it's a natural thing,that's what we do.
Johanna (31:32):
It is so natural and I think sometimes we become.
It's so natural and I thinksometimes we become so laser
focused, so myopic on the smallthings that absolutely need to
be done every day that we losesight of, do we?
(32:00):
maybe have an hour a week, or dowe have, you know, two hours a
month?
Do we have something, and itdoesn't have to be big.
But trust me, and I'm sure youknow this for sure, when you
start out little like that,other opportunities are going to
show itself and the connectionsthat you make with other women
yes it's it's life changing andit's not, it's not risky.
(32:25):
You don't have to go out and dosomething that's scary.
There there are websitesvolunteercom.
You can find in the school as areading buddy one hour a week,
there's.
So many kids, animals, what?
Oh my goodness, it just is.
It does come back tenfold, itreally does yeah.
Cassandra (32:48):
And I love the title.
We all deserve our best life,and I like your dream proposal
life.
And I like your dream proposalhow let's dream big.
I think that is awesome.
You talked about thinkabundantly.
(33:16):
What is your career?
Well, I'm just going to be asecretary.
I'm just going to think big,like you said, like the lady
wanted a van, like no, no, no,no, no.
Think big.
Think what you think isimpossible, because all things
are possible.
And I love it how you talkedabout the career, the big house,
the car you want.
Don't think that anything'simpossible.
(33:38):
So I love that.
And what you did with that,those goals and steps was that's
what you shared withindividuals that were survivors.
That was part of the program.
Johanna (33:51):
Oh they, they each from from the dream career.
We figured out steps and goalsof exactly what was going to
happen, and then the lastquestion, which is you know what
is the step you're going totake tomorrow?
The question for them was whatis the cost of the first step
(34:11):
and what is the first step?
Because they had to boil thatfirst step down to less than a
thousand dollars.
Cassandra (34:18):
Yes, absolutely.
Johanna (34:21):
Oh my God, the changes.
And we did deposits forapartments that they never
thought they'd have, a dream toget an apartment.
They still dreamed of the bighouse, but the step and goal was
to get an apartment.
Cassandra (34:38):
Sure.
Johanna (34:38):
And one of the most wonderful grants that I ever
gave was to a woman who wassuffering from PTSD and was
basically homebound.
And we finished the dreamproposal and I don't remember I
was doing a laptop and maybe anonline class for her and I said
come on, dream bigger.
And she said I'd like a laptopand maybe an online class for
her.
And I said come on, dreambigger.
(34:59):
And she said I'd like a kitten.
Oh, and I said do you know howmuch it costs for a kitten and
can you keep a kitten once youget one?
And she said, yes, yes, andI've done all the research and
because we never took any stateor federal funding, it was all
private funding, I could give agrant five minutes.
Cassandra (35:28):
Oh my gosh, Just something that that small.
That's Max.
Most of my listeners know Max.
When I'm on a podcast, maxdecides that he wants to come in
and be a part of it.
So, joe, you've not met him,but my listeners are definitely
aware of Max.
I want to talk about your book.
Johanna (35:54):
It takes a woman to empower a woman book, it takes a
woman to empower a woman.
Well, the mission of the bookis to empower women.
Cassandra (36:08):
The way I did with the grant.
Johanna (36:08):
Okay, but because Web of Benefit doesn't exist anymore
, I can't be giving them athousand dollars and I'm not in
the position to be interviewing.
But I and I put this out inevery podcast that I'm on, If
somebody is listening and wantsto give me $5 million, I will
start again, but anyway.
Web of Benefit.
(36:31):
The book it Takes a Woman.
The book it Takes a Woman isfull of stories like the ones I
just told you about the women.
The woman with the sewingmachine Actually, she is also on
(36:51):
the.
CNN Heroes piece if you want towatch that.
So anyway, there is one chapteronly that's on abuse.
It's chapter two and that wasthe most difficult for me to
write, but I really feel thatall women should read it because
it talks about all kinds ofabuse.
You know, the physical stuff issometimes the easiest to heal
(37:12):
from.
The spiritual and the mentaland emotional are way more
difficult.
But it's a very upbeat book.
It's part journal, it's partbook.
As I said, there are spaces forjournaling, there are a whole
bunch of self-care ideas, thereare affirmations, there are five
(37:40):
stories written by survivorsfor the book itself, and then
there are lots of other storiesthat I have written about other
women, a little bit about mybackstory, but that's the
smallest piece.
So it's meant to be uplifting,it's meant to have great stories
(38:00):
, it's meant to be empowering.
Chapter four is all about adeep dive into the dream
proposal.
And then at the back of thebook and I'm really proud of
this there's a huge resourcesection.
So there's free education,there's free legal, there's all
kinds of domestic violenceinformation, so you can buy it
(38:27):
online anywhere.
There's also an e-book, which Ithink is less expensive, that
you can get from Apple or not,audible, but wherever you get
your eBooks.
So anyways, just a continuationof Web of Benefit in a
different way.
Cassandra (38:47):
Okay, okay.
So in other words, all that youshared, and even with your book
, are the steps you need to gofrom surviving to thriving.
Absolutely, yeah, yeah, and Ilove that.
And one other thing we talkedabout before we came on you made
(39:10):
a comment that we all have beenabused.
We all have been abused.
Would you elaborate on whatthat means to say that we all,
like I think you indicate it'snot just physical abuse, right?
Johanna (39:29):
Yeah, well, I believe that abuse is on a spectrum from
small microaggressions all theway up to which would be
intimate homicide.
And we are born into a world ofpatriarchy, which means it's
(39:50):
run by men.
And then I speak about all theisms we have women have sexism,
there's racism, there'santi-Semitism, there's LGBTQ
rights.
Cassandra (40:06):
Ageism yeah.
Johanna (40:09):
Ageism, yes, yes, we don't want to go there, but we
tolerate these things becausethey're systemic, they're part
of our everyday lives, but Idon't think there's one among us
.
I mean, I remember some of thebosses that I had when I was
(40:30):
working, my husband throughgraduate school, the things that
they would say to me.
It just, and even my, even, mymom would say can't you just be
nice?
And I'm like, I think I am nice, but you know, those things
stick with us.
And these, these little smallmicro, whatever they are, micro
(41:04):
whatever they are, they stickwith us and they change our core
beliefs of who we are.
And you know, sometimes wethink and most of our core
beliefs are pretty negative.
I mean, if you think about theself-talk that we talk to
ourselves every day, it it'sreally, it's awful, but you know
, I'm not smart enough, or I'mnot pretty enough or what, and
if I'm not smart enough then I'mnot going to try for that great
(41:26):
job.
You know the core beliefsdetermine the patterns of our
behavior, so if we can say okay,I deserve the best, no matter
what.
Then I can start to okay, I'mnot going to say those nasty
(41:46):
things to myself.
Cassandra (41:47):
Right.
Johanna (41:50):
But anyway the isms and down to real physical abuse.
But when you think aboutemotional abuse, that's where
your heart is hurt.
Psychological abuse is whereyour brain is hurt.
(42:10):
So, it's not just the bones.
And then there's financialabuse and even things that we
don't consider abuse.
Controlling behavior is soabusive and it starts off with
okay, I don't want you to seeyour family or I'm going to pick
you up at work.
(42:30):
And that never gets better.
It only gets worse.
So I do believe that all of ourself-esteem has been injured,
if not destroyed, somewherealong the line by someone who we
(42:52):
trusted.
Cassandra (42:53):
Exactly, and that's kind of how we started out.
You're terrorized by theintimate relationships that you
have, and I like the terrorismis not that he's hitting you
every day, but not that he's.
Johanna (43:08):
But he can and he will, and we just don't know when.
So that's, that's where theterrorism comes.
Cassandra (43:17):
Exactly, and then we teach people how to treat us is
another thing.
Absolutely, Absolutely, Wow.
Well, Jill, please tell thelisteners.
Now let me ask you what are youdoing now?
Like you said, you're not nolonger doing the.
Unless somebody gives you $5million, you'll start back.
(43:37):
So what are you currently doing?
Johanna (43:40):
Well, I'm back to volunteering.
Cassandra (43:43):
Okay.
Johanna (43:43):
And I'm promoting the book as much as I can, and I
have decided that any money thatthe book might make will go to
women's causes go to women'scauses.
But I'm doing small volunteerthings like mentoring a ninth
(44:05):
grader who needs help withreading and writing.
I'm doing meals on wheels andI'm walking people's dogs so
they can keep their dogs whenthey're not able to walk
themselves.
And one of my great loves isbeing with my grandkids and
(44:25):
being able to travel.
Cassandra (44:27):
And.
Johanna (44:27):
I'm doing both of those things.
Cassandra (44:29):
Well, that's wonderful.
So if my listeners want to getin touch with you and kind of
talk through the dream plan andwhat I would call the community
services that you're doing, howwould they do that?
Johanna (44:43):
I would go on the website ittakesawomannet and
hopefully you'll put that upsomewhere.
You can reach me through that,or you could also email me at
joe J-O at ittakesawomannet.
Cassandra (45:03):
Okay, okay.
So, listeners, we are about towrap up and there are just two,
a couple of points I just wantto reiterate.
I loved it when Joe talks aboutwe all deserve our best life
and also to give ourselves somecompassion.
(45:23):
Be easy on ourselves.
We're human, things are goingto happen and don't be so hard
on yourself.
And also go back to the dreamproposal and think big.
Think big and, as I indicatedin the beginning, listen to this
podcast again and write thatdown, and nothing is too small
(45:47):
for you.
Think big.
People say the sky's the limit,but I say the sky is not even a
limit, you know.
So I just want to thank you foryour insight, your community
efforts and work that you havedone, the imprint that you have
placed on many people's lives,and some lives you probably
don't even know about, but ifyou think about all the
(46:09):
survivors, the grants to thesurvivors, that's a lot of
people.
So kudos to you, joe, andlisteners.
Again, you know how to contacther.
Her information will be in theshow notes and I'll say, like I
always say, bye for now and Godbless.
to welcome you back to Is your Way, in your Way, and
this podcast is where we breakthrough self-imposed barriers or
limiting beliefs may sound morefamiliar for some of you and
step boldly into the life Godhas ordained for us.
I'm your host, cassandraCrawley-Mayo, and today we're
(00:22):
diving into a conversation thatwill inspire and challenge you
to define what's possible inyour life.
Now I have a special guesttoday.
I'm going to introduce her in amoment, but I'd like to tell
you what our topic is we'regoing to talk about.
We all deserve our best life.
(00:44):
Now think about this what if thekey to living your best life is
already in your hands, but fear, doubt or past pain kept you
from using it?
Imagine surviving the darkestmoments of your life and then
turning that pain into purpose,not just for yourself, but for
(01:05):
thousands of others.
So today's guest has doneexactly that.
She is a powerhouse, avisionary and a true example of
what happens when you step intoyour calling, and today she is
here to share how you can unlockthe life that you truly deserve
.
And welcome to the podcast,johanna Crawford.
(01:31):
How are you, jo?
Johanna (01:33):
Oh, thank you so much, and thank you for that very kind
introduction.
Cassandra (01:40):
You're very welcome.
Before we got back on stage formy listeners, we were just
chatting a little bit and I'mpretty excited about this topic.
I've never really had a podcastrelated to this because, guys,
you know, we talk about topicsrelated to self-improvement,
(02:00):
self-development, even businessdevelopment, and it will enable
others to use, have some what Icall some self-reflection, and
I'm also prayerful that,whatever podcast that you listen
to, that this will resonatewith you, will resonate with
maybe one of your friends, andthis is something that you
(02:21):
really must share with them.
So I'm going to give you alittle background on Jo's story
so you can see why she isqualified to talk about.
We all deserve our best life Now.
As I indicated, she's avisionary leader, an advocate
with over 50 years of dedicatedcommunity service.
(02:42):
She's the founder and executivedirector of WOB that stands for
Web of Benefit Incorporated.
She's transformed lives of over10,000 domestic violence
survivors through her innovativedream proposal and pay it
(03:02):
forward programs.
Under her leadership, she hasbeen awarded 2,200 grants across
28 states, forging criticalpartnerships with over 120
agencies and securingrecognition from CNN Heroes, the
purpose prize in theMassachusetts Nonprofit Network,
(03:23):
the Purpose Prize in the.
Massachusetts Nonprofit Network.
Now she's an author of it Takesa Woman to Empower a Woman.
She shares her expertise onguiding women from survival to
self-sufficiency.
Her book provides a powerfulroadmap for reclaiming financial
independence and definingactionable steps toward a
(03:44):
thriving life.
So, with a deep passion forempowerment and an unwavering
commitment to change, shecontinues to be a catalyst for
transformation, proving thatevery woman deserves her best
life.
Wow.
So, Jo, tell my audience aboutyour backstory.
Tell us a little bit about whatwas going on with Jo before she
(04:08):
even started what I would calldedicating her life to community
service.
Johanna (04:15):
Well, the backstory and I think, most women who are
active in the domestic violencefield which I was, Actually I
don't call it domestic violenceanymore, I call it intimate
terrorism, because that's a muchmore just description and those
(04:35):
are not my words and I can'ttell you where they came from,
but because we are terrorized bythose we are most intimate with
partners, family, whatever.
So, anyway, my childhood wasvery angry, very alcoholic and
very abusive.
(04:57):
And my father attempted tomurder my mother when I was 13.
And my brother, who's 14 yearsold uh, four years older than I
am was in the house with me atthe time and we got him off of
her and out, and we three of usnever spoke about it after, but
(05:19):
this was in the late 1950s, soI'm kind of dating myself.
Cassandra (05:23):
Okay.
Johanna (05:24):
But the environment back then was that the police
would come to our house and theywould tell my mother to fix her
marriage.
And a fact I think that a lotof women don't realize is that
until 1975, marital rape waslegal.
(05:45):
I didn't know that horrifying,but anyway.
Um, I did.
Went to college, got married,worked my husband through
graduate school, checked all theright boxes, had kids, did all
those things and realized whichI think a lot of us do when our
kids are gone empty nest thatthere's more to life than maybe
(06:11):
what is in front of us.
And I realized that at about age48 and got divorced.
But it took me until I was 55to realize that I actually could
do something about intimateterrorism in whatever small way
I could.
So I went to volunteer at acrisis shelter actually the
(06:33):
oldest crisis shelter on theEast coast in Boston,
massachusetts and was in thecrisis hotline office two days a
week.
And one of those days a womancalled who had just gotten off
the bus from Chicago with hertwo young kids and she had
learned that we had a room witha bed for her and her two kids.
(06:56):
So I went to pick her up at thesubway stop and she was
standing on the corner with hertwo young kids and a black trash
bag full of all of herbelongings.
And she had gotten on a bus inChicago and she had used every
cent she had to get as far awayas she could go, and that was
(07:17):
Boston, all right.
So I took her back to theshelter and got her into her
room and she came up to theoffice later and she asked if I
could help.
So we talked about what herproblem was and she had fled so
quickly.
She had no driver license, shehad no birth certificates.
(07:37):
So, when you think about it,she did not exist legally.
He was not able to get any kindof help or assistance.
So I asked her what she neededand she said she needed $40 to
send to Chicago, and it'sforbidden for a volunteer to
(08:02):
give a resident money.
But, quite honestly, I've neverbeen very good with rules,
especially with rules.
So I said you know, I'll thinkabout what I can do and I don't
know about you.
But I never have cash in mywallet because it goes somewhere
(08:23):
and I have no idea where itwent.
But, knowing that the universeis always in charge, I looked in
my wallet and there were threetwenty dollar bills that day.
Cassandra (08:33):
Oh my gosh.
Johanna (08:34):
OK.
So as I was leaving for the day, I got her in a dark corner
like doing a drug deal in thecorner the two of us.
Cassandra (08:46):
Yeah.
Johanna (08:46):
I gave her the 220s and I said this is for what you
need in Chicago, but of courseshe was going to need stamps and
envelope and money orders andother things.
So, I gave her the third $20bill and I said use that for
those things and then take yourkids to McDonald's for a treat
(09:08):
after now.
This was this was in the year2003, so McDonald's was probably
more politically correct thanit is today so.
I burst into tears.
I burst into tears and I leftto go home.
And on my way home in a verynice car to a very nice house, I
knew I had to do it in a biggerway.
(09:29):
But I have also always been afor-profit kind of girl, started
and bought and sold severalcompanies.
I knew nothing about nonprofits.
But in a year we were up andrunning and and I started giving
grants.
And I wanted to give grantsbetween $500 and $1,000 to women
(09:57):
after they had been out of theabuse for six months, because it
takes that long to be able todecide what you want to do and
for the first step toward theirbiggest dream.
But of course by then we neededto define what the biggest
dream was.
So we figured out how to dothat and my biggest dream was a
thousand a hundred women for athousand dollars.
(10:19):
I had no idea where I was goingto get $100,000.
I had nothing.
But it turned out.
12 years of work, it was 2,200grants for almost a million five
.
Cassandra (10:36):
Wow, wow, jill, let me ask you when you went to
school during that time you whatdo you say you got a divorce of
, I guess about age 40 something.
You're an empty nester Did youhave any idea of what it was
that you wanted to do?
(10:57):
What were your dreams andaspirations?
Johanna (11:02):
You know, when I started working with survivors,
it occurred to me nobody hadever asked me what my dream was.
My dream had always been myhusband's dream, and he turned
out to be a big gun in thefinancial industry, which
luckily allowed me to haveenough money to start a
(11:26):
nonprofit Sure.
But what I did for work and Istarted a couple of companies
and then I worked in very highend real estate was always
subservient to his needs and thefamily's needs.
Cassandra (11:43):
OK.
Johanna (11:44):
Which at that time was right, but then it wasn't right
anymore.
Cassandra (11:50):
Okay, Okay.
I ask that because for mylisteners, for them to be able
to think about what is it thatthey wanted to do, what are
their dreams and aspirations?
And with you, things changedfor you, you know, and I think
back in those days and evensometimes today, it's all
(12:13):
dependent upon what the spousedoes.
You know, our role we felt wasto always be there for them,
support them.
We are one, and I'm not sayingwe're not, but then what about
us?
Like, if anything happens tothe spouse, then we kind of
struggle with well, what aboutme?
Like, what can I do now?
It's like you don't have yourown life, You're living a life
(12:35):
for somebody else.
So I wanted you to share that,so that individuals know that
it's okay to change and it'sokay to define what your dreams
are and aspirations andunderstand what they are and
what is it that's stopping it.
Johanna (12:51):
so that's why it's not only okay, it's what we deserve.
I mean we are.
We are here to live our ownlives and I'm not saying that,
of course, the women that Iworked with didn't have spouses,
okay, but we are not here tolive somebody else's life.
(13:18):
Right and I think probablystatistics would prove this to
be so is that when childrenleave wherever they go to
college or out to work orwhatever they do and a husband
and a wife are sitting acrossthe dinner table from each other
(13:38):
.
Cassandra (13:39):
Yeah.
Johanna (13:40):
Oftentimes there's something very big missing.
And I think I kept myself verybusy with the family and the
kids and I remember specificallya dinner after a very hard day.
I'd rushed home to create thiswonderful dinner and my husband
got up and said I need to go anddo something in Japan.
(14:01):
He had some customers and withthe time timeframe he had to do
that.
And I'm sitting at the table.
He had eaten his meal before Iever sat down and I'm sitting at
the table saying there issomething more to life than this
and I deserve something more.
And I know we have a limitedamount of time and I know you
(14:23):
have some questions that I'mhappy to answer, but I would
love love to be able to do aquick dream proposal that may
only take five minutes for yourwomen to be able to think that
maybe they deserve the dream andmaybe this is how they could go
about doing it.
Cassandra (14:44):
Okay, okay, I would love that, because not.
And I want to ask you, though,about the grants for a minute
how difficult, or was it, to getgrants?
Johanna (15:00):
Web of Benefit doesn't exist anymore because I retired,
but the way we gave the grantswas it had to be through a
domestic violence advocate.
Cassandra (15:15):
Okay.
Johanna (15:28):
And for women who are in abuse who are listening to
this podcast.
There are state agencies tohelp you.
There are local agencies.
Just Google domestic violenceagencies in your area.
You don't have to live there.
There is community outreach.
These advocates have access toall kinds of other agencies.
Advocates have access to allkinds of other agencies do not
(15:50):
hesitate.
There is help out there for you.
So, because I had worked in thecrisis shelter for two years
before, I started by the benefit.
I knew a lot of women in thenonprofit domestic violence
field in Boston and Cambridge sowhen I started the organization
and I had created the structureof how it would work, I asked
(16:13):
advocates to recommend women tome who they worked with so they
knew their backstory who hadbeen out of the abuse for six
months and their backstory whohad been out of the abuse for
six months and they felt werecapable of deciding what the
first step toward their biggestdream would be.
Because I could not afford tomake mistakes.
(16:36):
We had such limited funding,especially at the beginning, but
funding was always always afight.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Cassandra (16:44):
Okay, yeah, but I'm glad you mentioned, for women
that are listening, or men or orthey can share, that it's that
the States, their agencies, theycan contact.
So, as you indicated, grantsare not as as you indicated,
(17:05):
grants are not easy to get nowbecause they have the states
that can support and help thoseinitiatives.
Johanna (17:14):
There, there was no Organization that did what we
did in the entire United States.
Wow, so that.
And we never gave cash directlyto the woman.
But, for example, we gave asewing machine to a Korean woman
who started her own shop andactually was in negotiations to
(17:40):
buy the building.
That was a $700 sewing machine.
Cassandra (17:45):
Yeah.
Johanna (17:45):
We gave $1,000.
To a man who was going to buildA food cart For a woman in
Chicago.
She now owns three Restaurantsin Chicago.
Cassandra (17:57):
That was $1,000.
Johanna (17:59):
So what I found and I think Hopefully your listeners
will find if you can define whatyour first baby step is towards
your biggest dream, the second,third and millionth step will
(18:19):
show itself itself.
Cassandra (18:29):
And if you have one, person that believes that you
deserve the best and you havethe power to create it.
You can do it, okay, so that'sa great segue to the dream
proposal.
Johanna (18:38):
huh, so everybody will get a piece of paper and a
pencil.
Cassandra (18:42):
Okay, Now for those listeners that are driving.
Please don't do that.
But what you can do, dearlisteners, is just rewind.
You can play this podcast.
The podcast is on every podcastplatform and I think this will
be great for you to come back toit and get that piece of paper
(19:03):
and a pencil.
So we are ready, jill.
Johanna (19:06):
So when you do your dream proposal, you're going to
want to fill in the blanks.
Because we're not going to fillin all the blanks, I'm just
going to tell you the headlinesand you're going to put it on
your refrigerator, so you lookat it every day, okay, and you
need to dream really, really big.
Ok you need to dream out loud.
(19:27):
Tell those people you trust,because you never know where
help will come from.
Ok so you're going to dream big, you're going to dream out loud
and you're going to focus small.
OK one baby step at a time.
It is not rocket science, it issimple.
(19:51):
You have to be good and patientwith yourself.
And one baby step at a time.
So the dream proposal has threeparts.
The first part is what is yourbiggest dream, and that has five
subheadings that we'll gothrough.
The second part is what are thesteps and goals, and the third
(20:15):
part is what is the first stepthat you will take tomorrow.
Cassandra (20:22):
Okay.
Johanna (20:24):
So, for the biggest dream what is your dream career?
For example, I had a woman, aBrazilian woman we did a lot
with translation because therewere a lot of women that didn't
speak English A Brazilian womanwho spoke Portuguese and she had
(20:47):
only finished fifth grade inBrazil and she wanted to be a
doctor.
So we wrote down she wanted tobe.
Actually, she wanted to be apediatrician.
We wrote that down under dreamcareer.
Okay, the second piece iswhat's your dream house?
You may be living in your dreamhouse, but maybe you want
(21:09):
something to be different in thehouse.
But the women that I workedwith a lot of them didn't even
have their own apartments yet.
But we didn't dream aboutapartments.
We dreamed about houses, bigdreams.
Big, big.
So where is the house?
Are you living in the city?
Are you in the country?
Are you in the suburbs?
Are you north?
Are you living in the city?
Are you in the country?
(21:29):
Are you in the suburbs?
Are you north, are you south?
We designed the house.
How many bedrooms, how manybathrooms?
Does it have a pool?
Do you have a dog?
All those things, and you cando dream boards too, which are
really fun Cut out pictures, putthem the, but anyway, design
yourself a house.
With the thought you deserve itand you can do it.
(21:53):
And I'm not saying any of thisis easy, but I have a sign that
I look at, that is in front ofmy laptop right now.
It says think abundantly.
Energy follows intention.
So you are defining theintention for your life on this
(22:14):
simple piece of paper.
Cassandra (22:15):
Okay.
Johanna (22:16):
Okay, so we have.
We have career, we have house.
I'm a crazy car person, so thisis what is your dream car.
And some of the women that Iworked with had two and three
kids and they'd say I want aminivan.
No, you don't want a minivan.
(22:38):
No, minivans are allowed here.
Cassandra (22:41):
If you want a.
Johanna (22:42):
Porsche or a Maserati, or a Ferrari or an Audi Mercedes
yes, no minivans.
Or an Audi Mercedes yes, nominivans.
So fourth piece is dream travel.
I think travel is so importantbecause you get to learn about
other people and other cultures.
The first trip is by yourself.
The second trip is with kids orgrandkids, whatever.
(23:04):
And the last piece, which Ihave to say took me three or
four years to come up with, wasself-care.
Cassandra (23:12):
Okay.
Johanna (23:14):
Because the women that I worked with and so many of us,
especially professional womenwith husband and kids who has
time for self-care?
So a lot of the women didn'thave five minutes to themselves
a day.
And I write this in the bookSelf-care is an attitude, it is
(23:40):
a way of life, and it is anattitude and a way of life that
most women do not have.
We are always putting somebodyelse first and we have been
trained very well to do this.
Cassandra (23:56):
Exactly At a very young age.
Yes.
Johanna (23:59):
So putting yourself first is not selfish.
It actually means that you comefirst and that gives you more
energy and a better attitudetoward helping other people.
And the kind of self-care thatI spoke with to survivors was
(24:22):
not a spa day because theycouldn't afford that.
Cassandra (24:26):
Right, I'm glad you said that.
Johanna (24:27):
It wasn't any of that stuff.
It was take a bubble bath,write in a journal.
Actually, in my book there arelots of journaling prompts and
lots of self-care prompts.
Also lots of affirmations andlots of great quotations by
women and some by men.
(24:48):
So paint your nails, take awalk.
Walking is so important.
It's great exercise, You're outin the fresh air.
So just little things to giveyou even a 15-minute, 20-minute
break.
Cassandra (25:08):
Okay.
Johanna (25:08):
So those are the five pieces of what's your biggest
dream.
Then let's talk about steps andgoals.
I'm going to go back to theBrazilian lady, because she's
such a great example.
So she didn't speak English andshe had only finished fifth
grade.
Cassandra (25:26):
All right.
Johanna (25:27):
So she needed English classes.
But there are free Englishclasses everywhere.
Google free English classes inyour area, but she didn't have
transportation money, so we gaveher six months of subway passes
.
Cassandra (25:47):
Okay.
Johanna (25:48):
But then she needed a laptop to be able to work on her
GED.
I must have bought 800 laptopsfrom Best Buy.
We could get a laptop for $249.
So that was about half of hergrant.
With those two things she gother GED and we paid for her
(26:13):
admission to community college,where she got a free ride.
Oh OK, After community collegeshe got into a four year college
and was working through thatbefore medical school year
college and was working throughthat before medical school.
That is a thousand dollar grantwith a woman who took the first
(26:37):
step of riding on the subway tolearn English.
Cassandra (26:43):
Wow, and she's a pediatrician.
Johanna (26:47):
Well, I last time I lost track of her.
She was finishing four-yearcollege and going on to medical
school.
Cassandra (26:54):
Oh wow, what a great story.
Johanna (26:57):
Yeah, that's a $1,000 grant with an advocate, who was
going to help her the whole time, with a group of women who knew
that she deserved it and knewthat she had the power to do it.
Cassandra (27:12):
That's great.
Johanna (27:16):
Ladies, please, please, believe that you deserve the
best.
One thing I found working inthis field for 12 years, I
thought I'd be working withself-esteem and, yes, there were
self-esteem problems and Ithink all of our self-esteem has
(27:37):
been damaged somewhere alongour lives.
But then I found it wasworthiness, because if we don't
believe that we're worthy thenwe don't believe that we're
worthy of self-esteem.
But, I finally figured out.
The real basis for all of ourbeliefs comes from
(27:59):
self-forgiveness.
I'm not talking aboutself-forgiveness for something
you might have done to oneperson or something awful that
you think you've done.
I'm talking aboutself-forgiveness for everything
(28:21):
we may ever have done or maythink about doing, because we
are human and we are, I believe,doing the best that we can do
with the tools that we have.
And if we can forgive ourselvesfor everything and just say I'm
human, I'm not perfect, I'mvery imperfect, but I still, I
(28:47):
still deserve.
I still deserve to be happy, Istill deserve to be happy, I
still deserve my best life.
Cassandra (28:52):
Wow, that's great.
That's great.
I love the, the dream plan, andI love you had a program called
what pay it forward and yeah,and uh, what was it?
Three survivors helping asurvivor.
Johanna (29:11):
That's one survivor and we had a little agreement that
they had to sign that says Iwill do this, and not only that,
I will report what I've done.
Cassandra (29:20):
Okay.
Johanna (29:23):
I had phenomenal interns who helped do statistics
for me, so we followed thesewomen as long as we could and as
well as we could.
So we helped 2,200 women andeach one of those women had 2.3
children.
So that's like 6,000 women andchildren that we helped, and
(29:49):
each one of the women that wehelped had to help three other
survivors.
And I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about babysitting
or driving to an appointment or,you know, helping with an
application, just one-on-one,but to three women.
So they were touching the livesof three other women.
(30:11):
And those three other women had2.3 kids, so it all added up to
be a huge number of lives thatwere touched.
And we found and I found thiswith 50 years of volunteering
volunteering comes back to you10 times over.
It's really almost a selfishthing.
(30:33):
And being selfish I don't sayit's a bad thing.
It's the selfish thing to helppeople because it feels so good.
So, we found and it became, youknow, almost like a daily thing.
These women are helping so many, more than three because they
(31:07):
knew that they could impact andit was so powerful for them.
Cassandra (31:11):
Right, yeah, yeah.
And it's like you know inscripture you reap what you sell
.
Yeah, and it's like you know inscripture you read what you
sell, and that's so true.
And I was going to ask aquestion.
But I can tell, like, how didyou get women to help other
women?
But it's a natural thing,that's what we do.
Johanna (31:32):
It is so natural and I think sometimes we become.
It's so natural and I thinksometimes we become so laser
focused, so myopic on the smallthings that absolutely need to
be done every day that we losesight of, do we?
(32:00):
maybe have an hour a week, or dowe have, you know, two hours a
month?
Do we have something, and itdoesn't have to be big.
But trust me, and I'm sure youknow this for sure, when you
start out little like that,other opportunities are going to
show itself and the connectionsthat you make with other women
yes it's it's life changing andit's not, it's not risky.
(32:25):
You don't have to go out and dosomething that's scary.
There there are websitesvolunteercom.
You can find in the school as areading buddy one hour a week,
there's.
So many kids, animals, what?
Oh my goodness, it just is.
It does come back tenfold, itreally does yeah.
Cassandra (32:48):
And I love the title.
We all deserve our best life,and I like your dream proposal
life.
And I like your dream proposalhow let's dream big.
I think that is awesome.
You talked about thinkabundantly.
(33:16):
What is your career?
Well, I'm just going to be asecretary.
I'm just going to think big,like you said, like the lady
wanted a van, like no, no, no,no, no.
Think big.
Think what you think isimpossible, because all things
are possible.
And I love it how you talkedabout the career, the big house,
the car you want.
Don't think that anything'simpossible.
(33:38):
So I love that.
And what you did with that,those goals and steps was that's
what you shared withindividuals that were survivors.
That was part of the program.
Johanna (33:51):
Oh they, they each from from the dream career.
We figured out steps and goalsof exactly what was going to
happen, and then the lastquestion, which is you know what
is the step you're going totake tomorrow?
The question for them was whatis the cost of the first step
(34:11):
and what is the first step?
Because they had to boil thatfirst step down to less than a
thousand dollars.
Cassandra (34:18):
Yes, absolutely.
Johanna (34:21):
Oh my God, the changes.
And we did deposits forapartments that they never
thought they'd have, a dream toget an apartment.
They still dreamed of the bighouse, but the step and goal was
to get an apartment.
Cassandra (34:38):
Sure.
Johanna (34:38):
And one of the most wonderful grants that I ever
gave was to a woman who wassuffering from PTSD and was
basically homebound.
And we finished the dreamproposal and I don't remember I
was doing a laptop and maybe anonline class for her and I said
come on, dream bigger.
And she said I'd like a laptopand maybe an online class for
her.
And I said come on, dreambigger.
(34:59):
And she said I'd like a kitten.
Oh, and I said do you know howmuch it costs for a kitten and
can you keep a kitten once youget one?
And she said, yes, yes, andI've done all the research and
because we never took any stateor federal funding, it was all
private funding, I could give agrant five minutes.
Cassandra (35:28):
Oh my gosh, Just something that that small.
That's Max.
Most of my listeners know Max.
When I'm on a podcast, maxdecides that he wants to come in
and be a part of it.
So, joe, you've not met him,but my listeners are definitely
aware of Max.
I want to talk about your book.
Johanna (35:54):
It takes a woman to empower a woman book, it takes a
woman to empower a woman.
Well, the mission of the bookis to empower women.
Cassandra (36:08):
The way I did with the grant.
Johanna (36:08):
Okay, but because Web of Benefit doesn't exist anymore
, I can't be giving them athousand dollars and I'm not in
the position to be interviewing.
But I and I put this out inevery podcast that I'm on, If
somebody is listening and wantsto give me $5 million, I will
start again, but anyway.
Web of Benefit.
(36:31):
The book it Takes a Woman.
The book it Takes a Woman isfull of stories like the ones I
just told you about the women.
The woman with the sewingmachine Actually, she is also on
(36:51):
the.
CNN Heroes piece if you want towatch that.
So anyway, there is one chapteronly that's on abuse.
It's chapter two and that wasthe most difficult for me to
write, but I really feel thatall women should read it because
it talks about all kinds ofabuse.
You know, the physical stuff issometimes the easiest to heal
(37:12):
from.
The spiritual and the mentaland emotional are way more
difficult.
But it's a very upbeat book.
It's part journal, it's partbook.
As I said, there are spaces forjournaling, there are a whole
bunch of self-care ideas, thereare affirmations, there are five
(37:40):
stories written by survivorsfor the book itself, and then
there are lots of other storiesthat I have written about other
women, a little bit about mybackstory, but that's the
smallest piece.
So it's meant to be uplifting,it's meant to have great stories
(38:00):
, it's meant to be empowering.
Chapter four is all about adeep dive into the dream
proposal.
And then at the back of thebook and I'm really proud of
this there's a huge resourcesection.
So there's free education,there's free legal, there's all
kinds of domestic violenceinformation, so you can buy it
(38:27):
online anywhere.
There's also an e-book, which Ithink is less expensive, that
you can get from Apple or not,audible, but wherever you get
your eBooks.
So anyways, just a continuationof Web of Benefit in a
different way.
Cassandra (38:47):
Okay, okay.
So in other words, all that youshared, and even with your book
, are the steps you need to gofrom surviving to thriving.
Absolutely, yeah, yeah, and Ilove that.
And one other thing we talkedabout before we came on you made
(39:10):
a comment that we all have beenabused.
We all have been abused.
Would you elaborate on whatthat means to say that we all,
like I think you indicate it'snot just physical abuse, right?
Johanna (39:29):
Yeah, well, I believe that abuse is on a spectrum from
small microaggressions all theway up to which would be
intimate homicide.
And we are born into a world ofpatriarchy, which means it's
(39:50):
run by men.
And then I speak about all theisms we have women have sexism,
there's racism, there'santi-Semitism, there's LGBTQ
rights.
Cassandra (40:06):
Ageism yeah.
Johanna (40:09):
Ageism, yes, yes, we don't want to go there, but we
tolerate these things becausethey're systemic, they're part
of our everyday lives, but Idon't think there's one among us
.
I mean, I remember some of thebosses that I had when I was
(40:30):
working, my husband throughgraduate school, the things that
they would say to me.
It just, and even my, even, mymom would say can't you just be
nice?
And I'm like, I think I am nice, but you know, those things
stick with us.
And these, these little smallmicro, whatever they are, micro
(41:04):
whatever they are, they stickwith us and they change our core
beliefs of who we are.
And you know, sometimes wethink and most of our core
beliefs are pretty negative.
I mean, if you think about theself-talk that we talk to
ourselves every day, it it'sreally, it's awful, but you know
, I'm not smart enough, or I'mnot pretty enough or what, and
if I'm not smart enough then I'mnot going to try for that great
(41:26):
job.
You know the core beliefsdetermine the patterns of our
behavior, so if we can say okay,I deserve the best, no matter
what.
Then I can start to okay, I'mnot going to say those nasty
(41:46):
things to myself.
Cassandra (41:47):
Right.
Johanna (41:50):
But anyway the isms and down to real physical abuse.
But when you think aboutemotional abuse, that's where
your heart is hurt.
Psychological abuse is whereyour brain is hurt.
(42:10):
So, it's not just the bones.
And then there's financialabuse and even things that we
don't consider abuse.
Controlling behavior is soabusive and it starts off with
okay, I don't want you to seeyour family or I'm going to pick
you up at work.
(42:30):
And that never gets better.
It only gets worse.
So I do believe that all of ourself-esteem has been injured,
if not destroyed, somewherealong the line by someone who we
(42:52):
trusted.
Cassandra (42:53):
Exactly, and that's kind of how we started out.
You're terrorized by theintimate relationships that you
have, and I like the terrorismis not that he's hitting you
every day, but not that he's.
Johanna (43:08):
But he can and he will, and we just don't know when.
So that's, that's where theterrorism comes.
Cassandra (43:17):
Exactly, and then we teach people how to treat us is
another thing.
Absolutely, Absolutely, Wow.
Well, Jill, please tell thelisteners.
Now let me ask you what are youdoing now?
Like you said, you're not nolonger doing the.
Unless somebody gives you $5million, you'll start back.
(43:37):
So what are you currently doing?
Johanna (43:40):
Well, I'm back to volunteering.
Cassandra (43:43):
Okay.
Johanna (43:43):
And I'm promoting the book as much as I can, and I
have decided that any money thatthe book might make will go to
women's causes go to women'scauses.
But I'm doing small volunteerthings like mentoring a ninth
(44:05):
grader who needs help withreading and writing.
I'm doing meals on wheels andI'm walking people's dogs so
they can keep their dogs whenthey're not able to walk
themselves.
And one of my great loves isbeing with my grandkids and
(44:25):
being able to travel.
Cassandra (44:27):
And.
Johanna (44:27):
I'm doing both of those things.
Cassandra (44:29):
Well, that's wonderful.
So if my listeners want to getin touch with you and kind of
talk through the dream plan andwhat I would call the community
services that you're doing, howwould they do that?
Johanna (44:43):
I would go on the website ittakesawomannet and
hopefully you'll put that upsomewhere.
You can reach me through that,or you could also email me at
joe J-O at ittakesawomannet.
Cassandra (45:03):
Okay, okay.
So, listeners, we are about towrap up and there are just two,
a couple of points I just wantto reiterate.
I loved it when Joe talks aboutwe all deserve our best life
and also to give ourselves somecompassion.
(45:23):
Be easy on ourselves.
We're human, things are goingto happen and don't be so hard
on yourself.
And also go back to the dreamproposal and think big.
Think big and, as I indicatedin the beginning, listen to this
podcast again and write thatdown, and nothing is too small
(45:47):
for you.
Think big.
People say the sky's the limit,but I say the sky is not even a
limit, you know.
So I just want to thank you foryour insight, your community
efforts and work that you havedone, the imprint that you have
placed on many people's lives,and some lives you probably
don't even know about, but ifyou think about all the
(46:09):
survivors, the grants to thesurvivors, that's a lot of
people.
So kudos to you, joe, andlisteners.
Again, you know how to contacther.
Her information will be in theshow notes and I'll say, like I
always say, bye for now and Godbless.
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