December 2, 2025 • 46 mins
We explore how chasing self-esteem can drain power, and how claiming self-worth can rebuild it. Deborah shares the penny, porcupine, and blue dye metaphors that helped her rise from a painful misdiagnosis to a creative movement for reclaiming voice.
• difference between self-esteem and self-worth
• misdiagnosis, isolation, and rebuilding agency
• the penny metaphor and intrinsic value
• music as subconscious reprogramming for change
• creative pivots from children’s stories to Paisley
• quills as power: boundaries, overgiving, burnout
• disappointment as chemistry, not character
• fashion as self-expression from the inside out
• practical ways to stop overproving and start claiming worth
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cassandra (00:50):
Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like
to welcome you to Is Your Way inYour Way podcast.
And for those new listeners outthere, I'm your host, and my
name is Cassandra Crawley Mayo.
And also, for those newlisteners that may not know, the
name of my book is titled IsYour Way in Your Way.
(01:11):
It's a self-discovery guide forwomen on how to restore
yourself, learn from yourexperiences so that you may be
your true self again.
And we talk about topicsrelated to what I say, uh
self-improvement, empowerment,and also to give you an
opportunity to reflect on somethings that have occurred in
(01:32):
your life.
And also, my prayer has alwaysbeen that when someone listens
to one of my podcasts, they'llall of a sudden pivot and say,
you know what?
I'm gonna get out of my way andI'm gonna do something that
I've always wanted to do.
And so today I have a specialguest, and we're gonna talk
about get unstuck by reclaimingyour power.
(01:53):
But let me ask you this what ifthe reason you feel stuck isn't
about fear, but because yougave away your power, you gave
it away quill by quill.
So today's guests know exactlywhat that feels like.
Deborah Weed went fromproducing million-dollar shows
for the world's biggest brandsto being dead written by a
(02:16):
devastating misdiagnosis.
But her story didn't end there.
Out of the ashes, she gavebirth to Paisley the Musical, a
heart contour, couture, Broadwayspectacle that's now not just a
show, but a call to reclaimyour voice, your work, and your
(02:36):
dreams.
If you ever felt like the worldtold you to stay small, stay
silent, stay still, this episodewill reignite that fire that
you have.
So let's welcome thepowerhouse, the creative
visionary, and the spark behindthe global self-worth
revolution.
Deborah Weed.
(02:58):
Hi, Deborah.
Deborah (02:59):
Hey, Cassandra, thank you so much.
That was awesome.
I was like, who was that?
Cassandra (03:03):
Who is that?
I know who is that person?
That's right.
That's right.
Well, I am so happy that you'reon the show, and I am looking
forward to the insight thatyou're going to share.
And I'm certain there's somethings about your story and how
you overcame them, will resonatewith many of my listeners, and
(03:23):
that will enable them to, like Isaid, pivot and say, okay.
Now, I have well, let me, Iwant to read a little bit, just
a little more about you, uh,because I think this is
important.
Now, but instead ofsurrendering to your defeat, you
reignited your inner spark andcreated Paisley, the musical,
(03:45):
the Broadway bound heart coutureproduction dares women to
reclaim their creativity, theirvoice, and self-worth.
And we talked about yourmillion-dollar production and
how you are leading a globalmovement to help others recover
the quills, the quills that theyhave given away, those symbols
(04:08):
of identity, purpose, and power.
So your story is a livingtestimony of what happens when
you stop dimming your light andstart designing your own dreams.
Deborah, let me ask you, I wantto know about your backstory a
bit.
And I and because thisinformation is going to parlay
(04:32):
into what we're going to talkabout, because I believe it was
something in your backstory isthe reason why you're doing
things in this day and time.
So tell us a little aboutbecause you you staged the
sticky bun bandits as a youth.
So that means something wasgoing on.
Tell us about that.
Deborah (04:51):
Yes.
Well, first of all, if you canimagine, I was tremendously
sensitive and an empath, as somany women are, or little girls
are, right?
So when I got older, I waslike, I'm gonna go corporate.
I am gonna go, I am gonna goshow you.
You call me sensitive, you havethe audacity to call me
(05:12):
sensitive.
I'll show you.
So I became the director ofdevelopment for Citibank 19
branches and worked on a $26million pavilion for Tejan
Korea.
But when I was there,Cassandra, in the corporate
world, taking a sensitive souland putting it over here, it
(05:33):
didn't work.
I didn't smile, I didn't smileat all.
I I wore the corporate outfitsand I had the attitude, but this
is where my creativity startedto call me back.
Cassandra (05:46):
Well, let me let me ask you this before you go
further.
When you were younger, whocalled you sensitive?
Like, where did that come from?
Deborah (05:55):
Oh my gosh, everybody, every all my friends, my
friends, because I was I was anatural social worker, I was
that type of kid that justwanted to make sure that
everybody was okay.
And by doing that, it wasperceived as sensitivity, and I,
(06:16):
as a child at least, wanted toovercome what I thought was a
weakness.
Now I don't.
Now I think it's power, allright.
Power.
But at the time it was like,let me get into corporate until
I realized I'm an artist.
I am an artist of in my soul.
(06:36):
I love storytelling.
My mother, this is kind of likeum uh interesting factoid, one
of the first people in Miami tohave a talent agency.
Oh.
So ever since I was 16, I wasalways coming up with uh
musicals, interactive theatricalthings, murder mystery
(07:00):
weekends.
She would actually put themtogether, but I was the one
creating them ever since I wasyoung.
Cassandra (07:07):
Wow.
Deborah (07:07):
One of the things that that recreated with the Sticky
Bun Bandits, which was one of myfirst productions that I ever
did, was every single show ormusical that I did for children
was always for a reason.
And the sticky bun bandits, thereason is I wanted to teach
(07:27):
little kids about how whatsolutions meant.
So every song, every action wasto uh to really give them the
idea that they could come upwith a solution on their own and
how empowering that would be.
Talk about pivoting.
(08:21):
Yes, talk about pivoting.
I didn't even have a choice.
I went from the top to havinguh uh being misdiagnosed and in
bed for three years, and that iswhat set me on a new course to
find myself.
I think if that hadn'thappened, I would have probably
(08:41):
stayed in the realm of corporatebecause I didn't know at that
time period that there was adifference between self-esteem
and self-worth.
Self-esteem is like, wow, look,I'm the I'm the director of
Citibank, 19 branches.
Isn't that cool?
But I'm always thinking aboutwhat I'm done or what I have to
(09:05):
do, and that's what gives me theself-esteem.
I learned in bed when you havenowhere to go, but just your
creativity or thinking thatself-worth is only something
that I can say what I'm worth onmy own.
I'm the only one that can claimthat.
We always look on the outsidefor um evidence of who we are
(09:30):
and validation, yeah.
And yet it really is an insidejob.
Cassandra (09:38):
I like that.
Uh, so why does self-esteem?
We talked about self-esteem andself-worth, kind of it gets
confusing.
So, why does it matter based onwhat you said?
Why does that matter?
Deborah (09:53):
Oh my god, it really that's a great question.
It really matters because aslong as you're on the
self-esteem train, right?
You're you're trying to producethings, you're trying to you're
trying to go sometimes.
You're trying to go above andbeyond who you even are.
(10:13):
So you're you might not even bedoing your soul's calling, you
might be so interested in theself-esteem, so that you can
say, look at what a good job Idid or do that.
You totally forget who you are.
That's what okay.
Self-worth, on the other hand,is going back to who you are
(10:37):
naturally as a child.
Okay.
I being sensitive was an artistand a little social worker.
I wanted to make sure everybodywas okay.
And here I'm on corporate,corporate.
Now I was good, I was reallygood, right?
I was so good, but I I'm tooinvested in inspiring people
(11:02):
rather than getting to thebottom line of business.
And those two things, at leastfor me, didn't meet my
personality or suit mypersonality, right?
Cassandra (11:14):
So it took something, a trial, you know, uh a
tribulation or something for youto somewhat pivot, you know,
and a lot of us are doing thingsthat we we're okay with, but we
know that's really not who weare.
And then you think about thepart when people say, Oh, she
(11:35):
has low self-esteem.
Do they have low self-esteembecause they're not doing what
they are ordained to do?
You think because you hear thata lot.
Her self-esteem, you don't heara lot about self-worth as you
talk about.
Deborah (11:50):
Okay, you just hit the nail on the head, and let's put
an exclamation part uh on thatbecause that is exactly correct.
You know, when we're saying tosomebody, wow, that person
doesn't have self-esteem, that'sexactly what we're saying.
We're saying that they can'tprove, they can't prove how
(12:13):
competent what their worth isbecause they're not doing
anything, right?
Cassandra (12:20):
Exactly.
What their worth is and whatthey're currently doing.
So that's what you're sayingsounds like that constitutes
some low, low self-esteem.
Right.
Deborah (12:31):
Well, it would when I was in bed, I had horrible
self-esteem because I had gonefrom the tops of the mountains,
you know, to the to despair.
But that's where I had to findout what self-worth was.
I had to find out a lot of newdefinitions I didn't know.
I'll give you another one thatI discovered there.
(12:52):
I didn't know that healing,when I looked up the word heal,
it means whole.
And what I mean by that is mostof us try to get away from the
parts we don't like aboutourselves.
So I don't like my anger, Idon't like my frustration, I
(13:13):
don't like my sadness.
I'm going to that down and I'mgoing to make that as if it
(13:42):
doesn't exist.
Have I healed?
Am I whole?
Cassandra (13:50):
Yes, that's good.
Wow.
Okay.
So okay, so you were bedriddenfor how long?
Three years.
Okay, for three years.
How did so while you werebedridden, you said that you did
(14:29):
a lot of thinking, soulsearching.
What happened to get you out ofthat bedridden state?
Because you you sound like yougot up and you start doing
things that you knew that youwere somewhat born to do, and a
lot of it maybe had to do withwhen you grew up.
Deborah (14:51):
I when when I was it when you get misdiagnosed, and
especially with what happenedwith me, I had doctors giving me
all kinds of diagnoses thatwere incorrect.
Um, I had been in excruciatingpain, Cassandra.
Excruciating pain.
I couldn't move, I was weak.
And I one doctor would say youhave MS.
(15:13):
Then the next doctor said youhad Lou Garrett's.
Then the next doctor said itwas all in my head.
Now I am a very smart person,have been in corporate, and now
I'm not being heard.
Talk about power in a way.
My power was like it somebodytook it and ran, and it felt
(15:34):
like I had nothing left.
So during that time period whenI was in bed, I also had
something else that transpired.
And I think it happens to somany women, and that is that
because I had no definitivedoctors, three of them, two of
them saying the same thing,every single one of them was
(15:55):
saying something different.
My family and friends alsoabandoned me.
So now I don't have the supportsystem, I don't have the
doctors, I don't have anybody,and my rescuer was a penny and
creativity.
Cassandra (16:12):
Okay, a penny, a a penny, uh penny, okay.
Deborah (16:20):
Literally, okay.
So I learned while I was in beduh that a there's a penny that
could be worth a milliondollars.
This is true.
This is not this is not madeup.
A 1943 pure copper penny couldbe worth a million dollars.
(16:41):
So I'm thinking to myself,look, if people won't even bend
over to pick up a penny becausethey think it's worthless,
right?
Then what am I worth?
If I think I'm that penny thatnobody's going to pick up, yeah,
what kind of self-worth do Ihave?
And the penny was made bymistake.
(17:04):
Usually they used to put steelinto a penny, like in the middle
of it.
Oh, pennies got worked purecopper, 15 of them got through
the process, and that's whatmakes them so valuable.
So that got me started as thefounder of the Self-Worth
Initiative, and my first bookand musical from you know, after
(17:29):
the Citibank and theprofessional stuff, was to teach
young children what self-worthmeant through the eyes of a
penny.
And in that creativity and inthat process, my mind stopped
being focused on solving theproblem because I think my
(17:54):
biggest addiction my entire lifehas been trying to solve a
problem that's solvable, andthen go to people who don't
listen and want to speak uplouder, realizing that that was
not working.
Cassandra (18:10):
Okay, because in the beginning, like you indicated,
that the sticky bun bandits,yeah, that was all about
solutions.
Deborah (18:16):
It was all about solutions.
It was all about uh um uh inthe in Sweetland, there's an
aunt, and he comes toWicklesnacker and the grandkids
because the sticky bun banditsare making sticky buns and
taking all the sugar fromSweetland, and it's a whole
storyline where the kids have tofigure out and it's the music
(18:38):
was amazing.
We did it everywhere, but thekids have to figure out um when
the sticky bun bandits used umuh the dough to make a wall, a
wall, so that Wicklosnacker andhis grandkids and the big aunt
can't get in there, then theyhave to come up with a solution
of how they'd be able to do it,and every kid did, and every
(19:01):
adult did it.
Cassandra (19:03):
Hmm, okay, that was the solution.
Deborah (19:05):
Yeah, so it's like so.
If I was asking your audience,let's take a second, or your
listeners.
Okay, so there's this this wallof dough, there's a sticky bun
bandits inside, and the wicklesnacker and big aunt and his
grandchildren need to get in.
How would they do it?
Cassandra (19:23):
How would they do it?
Wow, so would you say everybodyfigured out the solution
eventually?
Deborah (19:30):
Yeah, the answer is that they'd eat their way
through, and that's how the kidsget it, and they you know just
loved it.
But when you hear the music andyou understand how much of an
impact, it was like a fun way toteach solutions to young kids,
and then the next one with apenny, a fun way to teach
(19:51):
self-worth to kids in theirfamilies.
Cassandra (19:54):
Okay, okay.
So, music you think has a lotto do with uh retaining their
learning or it enables them tobe more creative, you think?
What is this about music?
Deborah (20:07):
Because you've done musicals, subconscious, it's
subconscious programming.
Think about when you I don'tknow if you've gone to Wicked, I
don't know if you've gone toany musical or anything that you
love.
How often, when you're in aproblem, do you sing uh define
gravity?
You know, how often do thosesongs that are imprinted in your
(20:28):
mind, you are if I tell you,well, you know what, Cassandra,
this is what self-worth is.
And and let me tell you, youknow, mentally, you'd be like,
Yeah, okay, what whatever.
And it's not gonna retain.
If I give you musical and storyand you go on a journey, guess
what?
You're gonna be singing thosesongs over and over if you love
(20:49):
them, if they're fun, and thesewere, so you're gonna be
thinking about it over and overand over again, and you're
reprogramming your brain withouteven knowing it.
Instead of me being instead ofbeing like I love to inspire,
that's my favorite thing to do,and I do feel like I can do that
on my own with my own voice.
But trust me, when you are, youknow, when you're laughing and
(21:13):
then crying and then singing,yeah, it it actually changes the
cellular, you know, componentsof your body.
Cassandra (21:23):
Wow, that could be why I was so in love with the
wizard of oz.
Yes, yes.
And know all the songs, andyeah, that's wow.
I'm dating myself, but I lovethe Wizard of Oz and still do.
Deborah (21:38):
I have I have a big thing uh in my place that has
the Wizard of Oz and the Rubyslippers and everything else.
I mean, Paisley the musical,when we get there, is I'm I'm
wanting to have that same kindof effect where it's just like,
but mine is in in with youbecause it's all about
(21:58):
reclaiming power.
Yeah, the next chapter, thePaisley chapter, okay is all
about reclaiming power.
Cassandra (22:07):
Okay, okay.
So you said that your thing isyou like to inspire individuals.
Um, did that inspire?
Well, let me say this (22:18):
you had a few life-changing incidents in
your life, but yet each timeyou back, you bounce back.
Like, for example, uh, theprecipice that got you up was
you had the a tumor.
That was one of the things thatwhen you were bedridden, they
found it.
And then another thing is therewas a needle that's supposed to
(22:39):
have gone in a vein.
I could be wrong, but yet theystuck it in your arm by mistake,
right?
Um, as opposed to the vein.
And then the COVID, your yourfather passed.
So we're talking aboutinspiration and and the and the
title of this is is um getunstuck by reclaiming your
(23:00):
power, right?
So through all those incidents,what was it that got you
unstuck?
Well, let me ask you this.
What was okay, when you wereyoung, you were sensitive.
Yes, all right.
Deborah (23:14):
Stillian.
Cassandra (23:16):
Okay, and but what that quill to quill, what is
your power?
Deborah (23:22):
Oh, my superpower is creativity.
My superpower is, I feel likeimagine this, imagine this.
Imagine that when we have a lotof stuff that's happened,
trauma in our lives, yeah, thatit's like that boulder, right?
So it's a big, big, giganticboulder, and sometimes we're
pushing it down.
We don't want it to be seenbecause we're going after the
(23:44):
self-esteem.
When you are creative,creativity comes from the
divine, let's call it, and it'salmost as if it comes in from up
top, and it's almost like waterthat smooths away that boulder,
and you're no longer focusingon how to solve the problem,
(24:07):
you're now focusing on how toexpress the energy, the
unbelievable energy that'sflowing through us.
And I have found for myselfthat so many times, every time
that I have fallen down, uh,usually unusual health
scenarios, um, it would takesomebody down and and they might
(24:28):
never get up.
If you look at like the withthe vein thing, what happened is
they instead of they weregiving me gadolinium.
Gadolinium is a like a uhcontrast, it's almost like
mainlining mercury, but insteadof get hitting my vein, they
actually put it in my arm, myarm swole, it's in my body, and
I'm you know, but each time anew story came up, each time a
(24:52):
new purpose came up, each time,like I'm now Cassandra, I am now
at the point there's no holesbarred, I'm not afraid of
anything.
I can go for a Broadwaymusical, a Broadway-bound
musical, you know, and allheart.
You know, I don't have the bigbudget.
This is all heart, yeah.
(25:13):
I have nothing to fear.
Cassandra (25:15):
Wow.
Deborah (25:16):
Once you've gone through and stood up over and
over and over again, it's almostlike, okay, what's gonna scare
me about talking to anybody thatI perceive is better than me
after what I've gone through?
Yeah, this is a piece of cake,yeah.
Cassandra (25:32):
And the beauty of the things if you've gone through
where everybody on this that'slistening has been through
something.
Yes, and if they have not, thenI always say live on because
you will.
But you had something whereasyou bounced back.
What enabled you to bounceback?
(25:54):
Because I have individualslistening that you know gone
through things, but yet thatthey're still mulling over it,
they're still um ruminating overit.
What was it that had you tobounce back?
Deborah (26:09):
Okay, I'm gonna answer that question, but then I want
to circle back to something yousaid.
It was my dad.
I had a very sage dad who wasso creative and how he explained
things to me, and that isthat's another one of my
superpowers.
For example, for the peoplethat you just mentioned, I felt
like that many times.
And my dad said to me, Deborah,you know what?
(26:33):
Disappointment is thequasi-emotion that takes people
down every time.
And I'm gonna tell you why.
He said, the reason why isbecause when when you're
excited, like I'm working onsomething, I'm really excited
about what it is.
I've got adrenaline in my body,I've got endorphins in my body.
(26:54):
I am so excited.
It's chemicals.
I'm a walking chemical factory,right?
But when I hit a wall, all thefeel-good chemicals leave my
body.
Yeah, and when they leave mybody, I'm not conscious of it.
I call it failure, but it'sreally a chemical reaction or
(27:17):
chemical depletion.
But I don't know it, so I getback up and I try again, and I'm
now I've got all the feel-goodchemicals going on, and I'm
like, okay, this time I got it.
Yeah, and I walk again, andguess what happens?
All those feel-good chemicalsget depleted, and when they get
depleted, if this happens enoughtimes, yeah, we in society say
(27:42):
you failed or you you're afailure, or it's never gonna
work, or whatever, because wewant to protect ourselves from
the chemical reaction, yeah.
And so then I'm like, Well,Dad, if that's the case, how do
you overcome that?
What do you do?
I know he said to me, This iswhere it's the fake it until you
(28:05):
make it, because if youunderstand that can't this is
just that the the reason youdon't want to ever try again,
yeah, just because you don'tlike the depletion of the
chemicals, then at least you cantry again because at least you
know.
So my dad was my super weapon,I guess you would call it,
(28:26):
because he would always come upwith.
I mean, like, I've got so manyof these quirky things that he
told me that I had never heardbefore, and it's like, wow, that
is so true.
Cassandra (28:39):
Wow, I like that.
I like that.
You're right, because like yousaid, some of them can't get up
or or or you fight it becauseyou don't like the way it makes
you feel, you know.
But um, but what your dad said,it sparked something in you,
especially when when things getgot tough, yeah.
(29:00):
Really remember the things thatyour dad shared with you.
Deborah (29:04):
Oh, yeah.
And I'll tell you the best one.
You tell me when to say it, andI'll tell you another one
because this one I think isreally powerful for any
listener.
Cassandra (29:11):
Okay, well, I want to hear it now.
Deborah (29:13):
Okay.
So when I was in despair in bed,and I'm thinking to myself, oh
my god, Cassandra, I'm one ofthese people, I'm kind of like a
natural muse.
I can see somebody, I see theirtalent, and I'm able to help
them fly.
And I have helped so many of myfriends fly, and yet I'm in
bed.
And I came come to my dad intotal despair, going, How could
(29:36):
this happen?
How could I want to do suchgood in my life?
All I want to do is good, andthen I'm in bed, stuck in pain,
not knowing what's wrong.
And all my friends are outthere living their best lives
because I helped him.
I'm not saying it's because ofme, but I was a good champion, a
good cheerleader.
(29:56):
So he said to me, Okay,Deborah, uh, go get uh um a bowl
of water and some food dye.
And I'm like, Dad, I just toldyou I'm in despair.
Uh-huh.
You're asking me to get a bowlof water.
What is this?
(30:17):
But I did as he said because Iknow him well.
So I get the water and he tellsme, take the food dye.
I want you to put, I pick blue,of course.
I want you to put some food dyein there.
I put in two or three drops,and he said, Now I want you to
go ahead and stir it.
So now I'm stirring the waterand it's all blue.
And he says to me, Okay, mydaughter, now what I want you to
(30:39):
do is I want you to get thosethree drops of blue that you put
in the bowl.
And I'm like, Dad, it'simpossible.
Yeah.
And he's like, Exactly, it'simpossible.
Every time you encouragedsomebody or made a difference in
(31:02):
their life, there's three dropsof you in that person, so you
don't think that you're lying inbed, but you're saving the
world, you're doing your thingbecause every person who you've
touched or inspired has thatpart of you in them, and it's
impossible to take that out.
(31:25):
And every person who's touchedyour life is the same thing.
Cassandra (31:31):
I love that.
I love that.
That was that was that wasbeautiful.
Thanks, Dad, right?
Deborah (31:39):
Thanks, Dad.
Cassandra (31:41):
Yeah.
Wow.
That's amazing.
Cause you're right.
Can't yeah.
Wow.
That was a powerful statement,I tell you.
Um let me.
So as you indicated, you thinkabout things, things your dad
said will come back to you inmany instances, and that will
(32:05):
reignite you based on the thingsyou've been through, right?
Totally, yes.
Okay, okay, that's that's good.
Now, um let me talk about theyour power, reclaiming their
(32:25):
power.
You know what your power is.
Their listeners, even though wehave this as reclaiming your
power, is not sure.
How did you know your power?
And whereas that may helpsomebody listening get to know
what theirs is and hold it andrecognize it and claim it.
Deborah (32:47):
Well, okay, so I have to go a little bit into Paisley
and a little bit in the musicalso that so that I can swing back
to that, because I always thinkin metaphor that this is how I
roll.
And I needed a character thatwould really show what giving
(33:08):
one's power away would be.
And for me, it was a porcupine,and the reason why is because
porcupines usually they puttheir back to the world, right?
They put their quills up toprotect themselves.
But what about if you have a uhporcupine who dreams of being a
(33:30):
fashion designer?
But in the animal fashionworld, she has to use her quills
as pins to pin up the couturedesigns of uh diva, couture
diva.
Yeah, and she's giving away herquills until she's down to her
last quill.
So go on.
(33:51):
I needed that metaphor toreally show that we are the only
ones, nobody can take our powerfrom us.
Nobody, it's impossible.
We are the ones that give ourquills away or our power, either
because we have something thatwe need to prove or we do it out
of love.
(34:11):
Okay, and that is like a bigdistinction.
So usually we give away ourpower because we want something
in return.
But here's the danger sign.
I hope everybody can hear meright now.
Please hear me so you don'thave to go through some of this
stuff I have.
Yeah, the more you lose yourpower, the louder you get
(34:35):
talking to people who can't hearyou.
Cassandra (34:41):
Break that down for us.
Deborah (34:43):
Write that down.
I don't know where to write itdown, but I said break it down.
Cassandra (34:48):
Break it down.
Deborah (34:49):
Break it down.
Yes.
So what I mean is this we'rewe're the only person.
Let's say, let's say that wewant that we we're in a
relationship, yeah, and we feelunloved, unsupported, whatever.
So now we are going to take ourquills or our power, and we're
(35:10):
gonna do one of two things, ormaybe things, but I'm gonna
mention two.
One is we're gonna try harder,we're gonna be sweeter, we're
gonna get more, we're going todo everything that we can to
entice the person.
Okay, another thing we're gonnado potentially is we're gonna
give anger just because it's notworking out, because we'd be
(35:30):
misunderstood, because thingsaren't going right.
But we're literally taking apiece of ourselves and and
trying to like do something withthat power, and we're literally
giving it away because a lot oftimes with the person we're in
relationship with, they might bethe reason we're trying giving
our power away so much becausewe're not feeling heard, right?
(35:54):
We're not feeling understood,we're not feeling loved, and so
we're getting more to try tocompensate.
And at the end of the day, wemight be left with one quill.
I'll give you another examplethat might be easier.
You have a boss who's uh youknow really tough, and they're
(36:15):
saying I know it all, I've gotit all, and you don't, you know,
nothing.
So once again, we're giving,we're trying to overcompensate
to meet their expectation ratherthan know our power and make a
choice of where to put it.
Cassandra (36:37):
Because if not, our energies drain.
Deborah (36:41):
So and our quills are gone until we're la down to the
last quill.
Going, well, I stood foreverybody else, I helped
everybody else.
Where are the people to helpme?
And then that's where, youknow, at least for me, um,
there's been tremendous sorrowto realize that I did it to
(37:01):
myself.
Cassandra (37:03):
Right, right.
It's kind of like, and I'll usethis little analogy.
Many of my listeners are awarethat when I was in corporate, I
I I actually grew up doing thecivil rights movement, and I
became uh what some people calltokens.
I was hired because I wasAfrican, I was black.
Deborah (37:26):
Oh, really?
Cassandra (37:28):
Not so much that I was qualified, and so I I I
climbed the corporate ladder,even though I was able to do the
job.
But what I did, because that'swhat people thought, I gave away
my power over compensating toprove that I was qualified, and
(37:51):
I got burned out.
Deborah (37:54):
Exactly.
That is exactly what I'msaying.
Cassandra (37:58):
So, what you're saying is you know your worth,
so you don't have to proveanything, just do you.
Yes, okay, I like that.
Yeah, yeah, that's amazing.
That is amazing.
So that's why you say reclaimit.
That's why you talk about thepenny, pennies worth millions,
right?
Right, claim it.
(38:20):
No, know that.
Um, and I tell you, I have afriend that collects pennies,
and whenever he sees a penny, hesaves it, he keeps it.
And the reason he keeps itbecause it says, and God we
trust.
Deborah (38:33):
That's what I know, me too.
Me too.
Cassandra (38:37):
So that energy just rises, like, okay, God and I,
the divine and I are connected,and that just brings him life.
So I get it, and I know uh mylisteners are now based on the
metaphors you use, the analogythat they're getting it.
So no need for low self-esteem,just demonstrate your worth.
(39:02):
Exactly.
Deborah (39:03):
Know your worth.
Because here's another here'sanother thing, Cassandra.
Just anybody can think of thisand it will immediately it's my
it's my favorite, one of myfavorite metaphors.
Think of Picasso.
Think of Picasso.
If you went to your child'sschool and it was hanging up
(39:24):
there, would you think it wasdone by a child?
Like a lot of the faces, thefaces absolutely, absolutely,
yes, just beautiful, and he saidit's worth a million, and guess
what?
And it is paying a million.
Who determined that?
He said, if he had said this isworth two dollars, you know,
(39:47):
all I did was go, then that'swhere your worth is, and it's so
hard to claim it, it's so hardto say, you know what?
I'm not gonna define myself bythe way the world sees
everything.
I am going to say, I am worth amillion.
Yeah, I could be a penny.
I'm worth a million.
(40:08):
I can uh give my power, I don'thave to give away my power.
Yeah, I'm a porcupine withquills up, quills up.
I'm ready to reclaim everythingthat I have.
Cassandra (40:22):
That's beautiful because when that energy rises,
it kind of helps you understandthat power, it comes to you,
like you said.
You know, when you went throughall those incidents, that's
when the divine said, Oh, I gotsomething else for you, girl.
(40:42):
Yeah, yeah.
That's why that um the Paisley,the musical, oh that is simply
beautiful for my listeners.
Those pictures, oh, they'rebreathtaking.
So not only so you in otherwords, you like that that uh
(41:05):
self-worth to me is a movement,and yeah, and that's what what
Paisley's going to do to theworld.
Deborah (41:14):
Yes, I'm still in development.
So the picture, you know, butthe thing is, is that at the end
of the day, I want people towalk out and actually get, oh, I
experientially understand howto reclaim my power through the
eyes of this porcupine, in this,you know, because because I've
(41:37):
done a children's book, uh lastquill.
I illustrated, I did it, it wasa tremendous success.
But all the moms were saying,What about me?
I like that better than theydo, because I need to take my
quills back.
And so this is like in therealm of wicked or the lion
king, it's magical realism thatwill appeal to all ages and just
(41:59):
hopefully knock their socksoff.
The music, by the way, isgorgeous.
A couple of people in my innercircle, I had them hear it, and
and even with the first song,they were crying.
And these are these are somepowerful women, so this is not
like you know, I know to trustthat.
Cassandra (42:17):
Well, I tell you, this is why I it's interesting,
and I'm gonna say this because Icould talk to you all day, but
we can't, yes.
Um, you know, another way thatI look at things and I'm looking
at your life.
I don't know all that happened,but I know enough that you've
been, you know, it's just a lotthat's been going on, and I
(42:40):
really think it was somethingthat someone was hopeful that it
would stop you from themovement that you're going to
do.
And I applaud you that thatcreativity is in you for a
reason, and it's kind of likewhatever was stopping you, ain't
no stopping you now.
(43:01):
I don't care what's going on inyour life, it's no stopping.
So I just want you to keep itmoving, and I'm gonna look for
that musical because I want tosee it.
The pictures are breathtakingfor me, and I wish I could show
them, but I love that movementto inspire individuals to start
(43:23):
reclaiming their power based onall that's going on now.
What a this is a time that isneeded, and I thank you for
that.
Thank you, thank you, thankyou.
Deborah (43:34):
Thank you.
Cassandra (43:36):
Yes, yes.
Um, I'm we're gonna have towrap up.
And I just wanted to knowanother thing, I I read
something about you, and I wasso on it.
How one can also expressthemselves through their unique
fashion, yes, and that connectedwith the porcupine, the
(43:58):
paisley, and all of that.
So, you know, it's it's kind oflike uh I got this quiz the
other day, and somebody wantedto, you know, if you want to be
an individual that don't want tolook old, how would you want me
to dress you, right?
Yeah, and it's amazing.
And I'm like, well, I don'treally think I need that because
(44:21):
I have my own style, you know,and I'm okay with who I am.
It's not about self-esteem,it's about self-worth, you know.
So that it reminds me of that,but that is so true how one can
express themselves through theirown fashion, and we're judged
by it.
Deborah (44:38):
That's why I picked that one with the body
positivity, all the things thatwomen go through that men don't
have to encounter.
Cassandra (44:46):
And we sometimes we put on the dress, but it's
what's underneath, exactly, andinside you're so right on.
Thank you.
So, listen, we're gonna wrapup.
And my listeners, man, I knowyou got a lot of nuggets from
this conversation, and I wouldlike for you to share this
(45:07):
podcast with someone that isstruggling with low self-esteem
or not even sure what theirpower is, and help them reclaim
it because that's gonna be theenergy to get them to start
doing whatever they were stuckwith, because whatever you were
stuck with is something tryingto stop you from moving forward
(45:33):
for you to give to the worldwhat you were here and created
to do.
Powerful, powerful.
So, Deborah, thank you so much.
I appreciate you and listeners.
Again, like I always say, byefor now.
God bless, and again, Deborah,thank you so much.
Deborah (45:58):
Thank you, Cassandra.
Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like
to welcome you to Is Your Way inYour Way podcast.
And for those new listeners outthere, I'm your host, and my
name is Cassandra Crawley Mayo.
And also, for those newlisteners that may not know, the
name of my book is titled IsYour Way in Your Way.
(01:11):
It's a self-discovery guide forwomen on how to restore
yourself, learn from yourexperiences so that you may be
your true self again.
And we talk about topicsrelated to what I say, uh
self-improvement, empowerment,and also to give you an
opportunity to reflect on somethings that have occurred in
(01:32):
your life.
And also, my prayer has alwaysbeen that when someone listens
to one of my podcasts, they'llall of a sudden pivot and say,
you know what?
I'm gonna get out of my way andI'm gonna do something that
I've always wanted to do.
And so today I have a specialguest, and we're gonna talk
about get unstuck by reclaimingyour power.
(01:53):
But let me ask you this what ifthe reason you feel stuck isn't
about fear, but because yougave away your power, you gave
it away quill by quill.
So today's guests know exactlywhat that feels like.
Deborah Weed went fromproducing million-dollar shows
for the world's biggest brandsto being dead written by a
(02:16):
devastating misdiagnosis.
But her story didn't end there.
Out of the ashes, she gavebirth to Paisley the Musical, a
heart contour, couture, Broadwayspectacle that's now not just a
show, but a call to reclaimyour voice, your work, and your
(02:36):
dreams.
If you ever felt like the worldtold you to stay small, stay
silent, stay still, this episodewill reignite that fire that
you have.
So let's welcome thepowerhouse, the creative
visionary, and the spark behindthe global self-worth
revolution.
Deborah Weed.
(02:58):
Hi, Deborah.
Deborah (02:59):
Hey, Cassandra, thank you so much.
That was awesome.
I was like, who was that?
Cassandra (03:03):
Who is that?
I know who is that person?
That's right.
That's right.
Well, I am so happy that you'reon the show, and I am looking
forward to the insight thatyou're going to share.
And I'm certain there's somethings about your story and how
you overcame them, will resonatewith many of my listeners, and
(03:23):
that will enable them to, like Isaid, pivot and say, okay.
Now, I have well, let me, Iwant to read a little bit, just
a little more about you, uh,because I think this is
important.
Now, but instead ofsurrendering to your defeat, you
reignited your inner spark andcreated Paisley, the musical,
(03:45):
the Broadway bound heart coutureproduction dares women to
reclaim their creativity, theirvoice, and self-worth.
And we talked about yourmillion-dollar production and
how you are leading a globalmovement to help others recover
the quills, the quills that theyhave given away, those symbols
(04:08):
of identity, purpose, and power.
So your story is a livingtestimony of what happens when
you stop dimming your light andstart designing your own dreams.
Deborah, let me ask you, I wantto know about your backstory a
bit.
And I and because thisinformation is going to parlay
(04:32):
into what we're going to talkabout, because I believe it was
something in your backstory isthe reason why you're doing
things in this day and time.
So tell us a little aboutbecause you you staged the
sticky bun bandits as a youth.
So that means something wasgoing on.
Tell us about that.
Deborah (04:51):
Yes.
Well, first of all, if you canimagine, I was tremendously
sensitive and an empath, as somany women are, or little girls
are, right?
So when I got older, I waslike, I'm gonna go corporate.
I am gonna go, I am gonna goshow you.
You call me sensitive, you havethe audacity to call me
(05:12):
sensitive.
I'll show you.
So I became the director ofdevelopment for Citibank 19
branches and worked on a $26million pavilion for Tejan
Korea.
But when I was there,Cassandra, in the corporate
world, taking a sensitive souland putting it over here, it
(05:33):
didn't work.
I didn't smile, I didn't smileat all.
I I wore the corporate outfitsand I had the attitude, but this
is where my creativity startedto call me back.
Cassandra (05:46):
Well, let me let me ask you this before you go
further.
When you were younger, whocalled you sensitive?
Like, where did that come from?
Deborah (05:55):
Oh my gosh, everybody, every all my friends, my
friends, because I was I was anatural social worker, I was
that type of kid that justwanted to make sure that
everybody was okay.
And by doing that, it wasperceived as sensitivity, and I,
(06:16):
as a child at least, wanted toovercome what I thought was a
weakness.
Now I don't.
Now I think it's power, allright.
Power.
But at the time it was like,let me get into corporate until
I realized I'm an artist.
I am an artist of in my soul.
(06:36):
I love storytelling.
My mother, this is kind of likeum uh interesting factoid, one
of the first people in Miami tohave a talent agency.
Oh.
So ever since I was 16, I wasalways coming up with uh
musicals, interactive theatricalthings, murder mystery
(07:00):
weekends.
She would actually put themtogether, but I was the one
creating them ever since I wasyoung.
Cassandra (07:07):
Wow.
Deborah (07:07):
One of the things that that recreated with the Sticky
Bun Bandits, which was one of myfirst productions that I ever
did, was every single show ormusical that I did for children
was always for a reason.
And the sticky bun bandits, thereason is I wanted to teach
(07:27):
little kids about how whatsolutions meant.
So every song, every action wasto uh to really give them the
idea that they could come upwith a solution on their own and
how empowering that would be.
Talk about pivoting.
(08:21):
Yes, talk about pivoting.
I didn't even have a choice.
I went from the top to havinguh uh being misdiagnosed and in
bed for three years, and that iswhat set me on a new course to
find myself.
I think if that hadn'thappened, I would have probably
(08:41):
stayed in the realm of corporatebecause I didn't know at that
time period that there was adifference between self-esteem
and self-worth.
Self-esteem is like, wow, look,I'm the I'm the director of
Citibank, 19 branches.
Isn't that cool?
But I'm always thinking aboutwhat I'm done or what I have to
(09:05):
do, and that's what gives me theself-esteem.
I learned in bed when you havenowhere to go, but just your
creativity or thinking thatself-worth is only something
that I can say what I'm worth onmy own.
I'm the only one that can claimthat.
We always look on the outsidefor um evidence of who we are
(09:30):
and validation, yeah.
And yet it really is an insidejob.
Cassandra (09:38):
I like that.
Uh, so why does self-esteem?
We talked about self-esteem andself-worth, kind of it gets
confusing.
So, why does it matter based onwhat you said?
Why does that matter?
Deborah (09:53):
Oh my god, it really that's a great question.
It really matters because aslong as you're on the
self-esteem train, right?
You're you're trying to producethings, you're trying to you're
trying to go sometimes.
You're trying to go above andbeyond who you even are.
(10:13):
So you're you might not even bedoing your soul's calling, you
might be so interested in theself-esteem, so that you can
say, look at what a good job Idid or do that.
You totally forget who you are.
That's what okay.
Self-worth, on the other hand,is going back to who you are
(10:37):
naturally as a child.
Okay.
I being sensitive was an artistand a little social worker.
I wanted to make sure everybodywas okay.
And here I'm on corporate,corporate.
Now I was good, I was reallygood, right?
I was so good, but I I'm tooinvested in inspiring people
(11:02):
rather than getting to thebottom line of business.
And those two things, at leastfor me, didn't meet my
personality or suit mypersonality, right?
Cassandra (11:14):
So it took something, a trial, you know, uh a
tribulation or something for youto somewhat pivot, you know,
and a lot of us are doing thingsthat we we're okay with, but we
know that's really not who weare.
And then you think about thepart when people say, Oh, she
(11:35):
has low self-esteem.
Do they have low self-esteembecause they're not doing what
they are ordained to do?
You think because you hear thata lot.
Her self-esteem, you don't heara lot about self-worth as you
talk about.
Deborah (11:50):
Okay, you just hit the nail on the head, and let's put
an exclamation part uh on thatbecause that is exactly correct.
You know, when we're saying tosomebody, wow, that person
doesn't have self-esteem, that'sexactly what we're saying.
We're saying that they can'tprove, they can't prove how
(12:13):
competent what their worth isbecause they're not doing
anything, right?
Cassandra (12:20):
Exactly.
What their worth is and whatthey're currently doing.
So that's what you're sayingsounds like that constitutes
some low, low self-esteem.
Right.
Deborah (12:31):
Well, it would when I was in bed, I had horrible
self-esteem because I had gonefrom the tops of the mountains,
you know, to the to despair.
But that's where I had to findout what self-worth was.
I had to find out a lot of newdefinitions I didn't know.
I'll give you another one thatI discovered there.
(12:52):
I didn't know that healing,when I looked up the word heal,
it means whole.
And what I mean by that is mostof us try to get away from the
parts we don't like aboutourselves.
So I don't like my anger, Idon't like my frustration, I
(13:13):
don't like my sadness.
I'm going to that down and I'mgoing to make that as if it
(13:42):
doesn't exist.
Have I healed?
Am I whole?
Cassandra (13:50):
Yes, that's good.
Wow.
Okay.
So okay, so you were bedriddenfor how long?
Three years.
Okay, for three years.
How did so while you werebedridden, you said that you did
(14:29):
a lot of thinking, soulsearching.
What happened to get you out ofthat bedridden state?
Because you you sound like yougot up and you start doing
things that you knew that youwere somewhat born to do, and a
lot of it maybe had to do withwhen you grew up.
Deborah (14:51):
I when when I was it when you get misdiagnosed, and
especially with what happenedwith me, I had doctors giving me
all kinds of diagnoses thatwere incorrect.
Um, I had been in excruciatingpain, Cassandra.
Excruciating pain.
I couldn't move, I was weak.
And I one doctor would say youhave MS.
(15:13):
Then the next doctor said youhad Lou Garrett's.
Then the next doctor said itwas all in my head.
Now I am a very smart person,have been in corporate, and now
I'm not being heard.
Talk about power in a way.
My power was like it somebodytook it and ran, and it felt
(15:34):
like I had nothing left.
So during that time period whenI was in bed, I also had
something else that transpired.
And I think it happens to somany women, and that is that
because I had no definitivedoctors, three of them, two of
them saying the same thing,every single one of them was
(15:55):
saying something different.
My family and friends alsoabandoned me.
So now I don't have the supportsystem, I don't have the
doctors, I don't have anybody,and my rescuer was a penny and
creativity.
Cassandra (16:12):
Okay, a penny, a a penny, uh penny, okay.
Deborah (16:20):
Literally, okay.
So I learned while I was in beduh that a there's a penny that
could be worth a milliondollars.
This is true.
This is not this is not madeup.
A 1943 pure copper penny couldbe worth a million dollars.
(16:41):
So I'm thinking to myself,look, if people won't even bend
over to pick up a penny becausethey think it's worthless,
right?
Then what am I worth?
If I think I'm that penny thatnobody's going to pick up, yeah,
what kind of self-worth do Ihave?
And the penny was made bymistake.
(17:04):
Usually they used to put steelinto a penny, like in the middle
of it.
Oh, pennies got worked purecopper, 15 of them got through
the process, and that's whatmakes them so valuable.
So that got me started as thefounder of the Self-Worth
Initiative, and my first bookand musical from you know, after
(17:29):
the Citibank and theprofessional stuff, was to teach
young children what self-worthmeant through the eyes of a
penny.
And in that creativity and inthat process, my mind stopped
being focused on solving theproblem because I think my
(17:54):
biggest addiction my entire lifehas been trying to solve a
problem that's solvable, andthen go to people who don't
listen and want to speak uplouder, realizing that that was
not working.
Cassandra (18:10):
Okay, because in the beginning, like you indicated,
that the sticky bun bandits,yeah, that was all about
solutions.
Deborah (18:16):
It was all about solutions.
It was all about uh um uh inthe in Sweetland, there's an
aunt, and he comes toWicklesnacker and the grandkids
because the sticky bun banditsare making sticky buns and
taking all the sugar fromSweetland, and it's a whole
storyline where the kids have tofigure out and it's the music
(18:38):
was amazing.
We did it everywhere, but thekids have to figure out um when
the sticky bun bandits used umuh the dough to make a wall, a
wall, so that Wicklosnacker andhis grandkids and the big aunt
can't get in there, then theyhave to come up with a solution
of how they'd be able to do it,and every kid did, and every
(19:01):
adult did it.
Cassandra (19:03):
Hmm, okay, that was the solution.
Deborah (19:05):
Yeah, so it's like so.
If I was asking your audience,let's take a second, or your
listeners.
Okay, so there's this this wallof dough, there's a sticky bun
bandits inside, and the wicklesnacker and big aunt and his
grandchildren need to get in.
How would they do it?
Cassandra (19:23):
How would they do it?
Wow, so would you say everybodyfigured out the solution
eventually?
Deborah (19:30):
Yeah, the answer is that they'd eat their way
through, and that's how the kidsget it, and they you know just
loved it.
But when you hear the music andyou understand how much of an
impact, it was like a fun way toteach solutions to young kids,
and then the next one with apenny, a fun way to teach
(19:51):
self-worth to kids in theirfamilies.
Cassandra (19:54):
Okay, okay.
So, music you think has a lotto do with uh retaining their
learning or it enables them tobe more creative, you think?
What is this about music?
Deborah (20:07):
Because you've done musicals, subconscious, it's
subconscious programming.
Think about when you I don'tknow if you've gone to Wicked, I
don't know if you've gone toany musical or anything that you
love.
How often, when you're in aproblem, do you sing uh define
gravity?
You know, how often do thosesongs that are imprinted in your
(20:28):
mind, you are if I tell you,well, you know what, Cassandra,
this is what self-worth is.
And and let me tell you, youknow, mentally, you'd be like,
Yeah, okay, what whatever.
And it's not gonna retain.
If I give you musical and storyand you go on a journey, guess
what?
You're gonna be singing thosesongs over and over if you love
(20:49):
them, if they're fun, and thesewere, so you're gonna be
thinking about it over and overand over again, and you're
reprogramming your brain withouteven knowing it.
Instead of me being instead ofbeing like I love to inspire,
that's my favorite thing to do,and I do feel like I can do that
on my own with my own voice.
But trust me, when you are, youknow, when you're laughing and
(21:13):
then crying and then singing,yeah, it it actually changes the
cellular, you know, componentsof your body.
Cassandra (21:23):
Wow, that could be why I was so in love with the
wizard of oz.
Yes, yes.
And know all the songs, andyeah, that's wow.
I'm dating myself, but I lovethe Wizard of Oz and still do.
Deborah (21:38):
I have I have a big thing uh in my place that has
the Wizard of Oz and the Rubyslippers and everything else.
I mean, Paisley the musical,when we get there, is I'm I'm
wanting to have that same kindof effect where it's just like,
but mine is in in with youbecause it's all about
(21:58):
reclaiming power.
Yeah, the next chapter, thePaisley chapter, okay is all
about reclaiming power.
Cassandra (22:07):
Okay, okay.
So you said that your thing isyou like to inspire individuals.
Um, did that inspire?
Well, let me say this (22:18):
you had a few life-changing incidents in
your life, but yet each timeyou back, you bounce back.
Like, for example, uh, theprecipice that got you up was
you had the a tumor.
That was one of the things thatwhen you were bedridden, they
found it.
And then another thing is therewas a needle that's supposed to
(22:39):
have gone in a vein.
I could be wrong, but yet theystuck it in your arm by mistake,
right?
Um, as opposed to the vein.
And then the COVID, your yourfather passed.
So we're talking aboutinspiration and and the and the
title of this is is um getunstuck by reclaiming your
(23:00):
power, right?
So through all those incidents,what was it that got you
unstuck?
Well, let me ask you this.
What was okay, when you wereyoung, you were sensitive.
Yes, all right.
Deborah (23:14):
Stillian.
Cassandra (23:16):
Okay, and but what that quill to quill, what is
your power?
Deborah (23:22):
Oh, my superpower is creativity.
My superpower is, I feel likeimagine this, imagine this.
Imagine that when we have a lotof stuff that's happened,
trauma in our lives, yeah, thatit's like that boulder, right?
So it's a big, big, giganticboulder, and sometimes we're
pushing it down.
We don't want it to be seenbecause we're going after the
(23:44):
self-esteem.
When you are creative,creativity comes from the
divine, let's call it, and it'salmost as if it comes in from up
top, and it's almost like waterthat smooths away that boulder,
and you're no longer focusingon how to solve the problem,
(24:07):
you're now focusing on how toexpress the energy, the
unbelievable energy that'sflowing through us.
And I have found for myselfthat so many times, every time
that I have fallen down, uh,usually unusual health
scenarios, um, it would takesomebody down and and they might
(24:28):
never get up.
If you look at like the withthe vein thing, what happened is
they instead of they weregiving me gadolinium.
Gadolinium is a like a uhcontrast, it's almost like
mainlining mercury, but insteadof get hitting my vein, they
actually put it in my arm, myarm swole, it's in my body, and
I'm you know, but each time anew story came up, each time a
(24:52):
new purpose came up, each time,like I'm now Cassandra, I am now
at the point there's no holesbarred, I'm not afraid of
anything.
I can go for a Broadwaymusical, a Broadway-bound
musical, you know, and allheart.
You know, I don't have the bigbudget.
This is all heart, yeah.
(25:13):
I have nothing to fear.
Cassandra (25:15):
Wow.
Deborah (25:16):
Once you've gone through and stood up over and
over and over again, it's almostlike, okay, what's gonna scare
me about talking to anybody thatI perceive is better than me
after what I've gone through?
Yeah, this is a piece of cake,yeah.
Cassandra (25:32):
And the beauty of the things if you've gone through
where everybody on this that'slistening has been through
something.
Yes, and if they have not, thenI always say live on because
you will.
But you had something whereasyou bounced back.
What enabled you to bounceback?
(25:54):
Because I have individualslistening that you know gone
through things, but yet thatthey're still mulling over it,
they're still um ruminating overit.
What was it that had you tobounce back?
Deborah (26:09):
Okay, I'm gonna answer that question, but then I want
to circle back to something yousaid.
It was my dad.
I had a very sage dad who wasso creative and how he explained
things to me, and that isthat's another one of my
superpowers.
For example, for the peoplethat you just mentioned, I felt
like that many times.
And my dad said to me, Deborah,you know what?
(26:33):
Disappointment is thequasi-emotion that takes people
down every time.
And I'm gonna tell you why.
He said, the reason why isbecause when when you're
excited, like I'm working onsomething, I'm really excited
about what it is.
I've got adrenaline in my body,I've got endorphins in my body.
(26:54):
I am so excited.
It's chemicals.
I'm a walking chemical factory,right?
But when I hit a wall, all thefeel-good chemicals leave my
body.
Yeah, and when they leave mybody, I'm not conscious of it.
I call it failure, but it'sreally a chemical reaction or
(27:17):
chemical depletion.
But I don't know it, so I getback up and I try again, and I'm
now I've got all the feel-goodchemicals going on, and I'm
like, okay, this time I got it.
Yeah, and I walk again, andguess what happens?
All those feel-good chemicalsget depleted, and when they get
depleted, if this happens enoughtimes, yeah, we in society say
(27:42):
you failed or you you're afailure, or it's never gonna
work, or whatever, because wewant to protect ourselves from
the chemical reaction, yeah.
And so then I'm like, Well,Dad, if that's the case, how do
you overcome that?
What do you do?
I know he said to me, This iswhere it's the fake it until you
(28:05):
make it, because if youunderstand that can't this is
just that the the reason youdon't want to ever try again,
yeah, just because you don'tlike the depletion of the
chemicals, then at least you cantry again because at least you
know.
So my dad was my super weapon,I guess you would call it,
(28:26):
because he would always come upwith.
I mean, like, I've got so manyof these quirky things that he
told me that I had never heardbefore, and it's like, wow, that
is so true.
Cassandra (28:39):
Wow, I like that.
I like that.
You're right, because like yousaid, some of them can't get up
or or or you fight it becauseyou don't like the way it makes
you feel, you know.
But um, but what your dad said,it sparked something in you,
especially when when things getgot tough, yeah.
(29:00):
Really remember the things thatyour dad shared with you.
Deborah (29:04):
Oh, yeah.
And I'll tell you the best one.
You tell me when to say it, andI'll tell you another one
because this one I think isreally powerful for any
listener.
Cassandra (29:11):
Okay, well, I want to hear it now.
Deborah (29:13):
Okay.
So when I was in despair in bed,and I'm thinking to myself, oh
my god, Cassandra, I'm one ofthese people, I'm kind of like a
natural muse.
I can see somebody, I see theirtalent, and I'm able to help
them fly.
And I have helped so many of myfriends fly, and yet I'm in
bed.
And I came come to my dad intotal despair, going, How could
(29:36):
this happen?
How could I want to do suchgood in my life?
All I want to do is good, andthen I'm in bed, stuck in pain,
not knowing what's wrong.
And all my friends are outthere living their best lives
because I helped him.
I'm not saying it's because ofme, but I was a good champion, a
good cheerleader.
(29:56):
So he said to me, Okay,Deborah, uh, go get uh um a bowl
of water and some food dye.
And I'm like, Dad, I just toldyou I'm in despair.
Uh-huh.
You're asking me to get a bowlof water.
What is this?
(30:17):
But I did as he said because Iknow him well.
So I get the water and he tellsme, take the food dye.
I want you to put, I pick blue,of course.
I want you to put some food dyein there.
I put in two or three drops,and he said, Now I want you to
go ahead and stir it.
So now I'm stirring the waterand it's all blue.
And he says to me, Okay, mydaughter, now what I want you to
(30:39):
do is I want you to get thosethree drops of blue that you put
in the bowl.
And I'm like, Dad, it'simpossible.
Yeah.
And he's like, Exactly, it'simpossible.
Every time you encouragedsomebody or made a difference in
(31:02):
their life, there's three dropsof you in that person, so you
don't think that you're lying inbed, but you're saving the
world, you're doing your thingbecause every person who you've
touched or inspired has thatpart of you in them, and it's
impossible to take that out.
(31:25):
And every person who's touchedyour life is the same thing.
Cassandra (31:31):
I love that.
I love that.
That was that was that wasbeautiful.
Thanks, Dad, right?
Deborah (31:39):
Thanks, Dad.
Cassandra (31:41):
Yeah.
Wow.
That's amazing.
Cause you're right.
Can't yeah.
Wow.
That was a powerful statement,I tell you.
Um let me.
So as you indicated, you thinkabout things, things your dad
said will come back to you inmany instances, and that will
(32:05):
reignite you based on the thingsyou've been through, right?
Totally, yes.
Okay, okay, that's that's good.
Now, um let me talk about theyour power, reclaiming their
(32:25):
power.
You know what your power is.
Their listeners, even though wehave this as reclaiming your
power, is not sure.
How did you know your power?
And whereas that may helpsomebody listening get to know
what theirs is and hold it andrecognize it and claim it.
Deborah (32:47):
Well, okay, so I have to go a little bit into Paisley
and a little bit in the musicalso that so that I can swing back
to that, because I always thinkin metaphor that this is how I
roll.
And I needed a character thatwould really show what giving
(33:08):
one's power away would be.
And for me, it was a porcupine,and the reason why is because
porcupines usually they puttheir back to the world, right?
They put their quills up toprotect themselves.
But what about if you have a uhporcupine who dreams of being a
(33:30):
fashion designer?
But in the animal fashionworld, she has to use her quills
as pins to pin up the couturedesigns of uh diva, couture
diva.
Yeah, and she's giving away herquills until she's down to her
last quill.
So go on.
(33:51):
I needed that metaphor toreally show that we are the only
ones, nobody can take our powerfrom us.
Nobody, it's impossible.
We are the ones that give ourquills away or our power, either
because we have something thatwe need to prove or we do it out
of love.
(34:11):
Okay, and that is like a bigdistinction.
So usually we give away ourpower because we want something
in return.
But here's the danger sign.
I hope everybody can hear meright now.
Please hear me so you don'thave to go through some of this
stuff I have.
Yeah, the more you lose yourpower, the louder you get
(34:35):
talking to people who can't hearyou.
Cassandra (34:41):
Break that down for us.
Deborah (34:43):
Write that down.
I don't know where to write itdown, but I said break it down.
Cassandra (34:48):
Break it down.
Deborah (34:49):
Break it down.
Yes.
So what I mean is this we'rewe're the only person.
Let's say, let's say that wewant that we we're in a
relationship, yeah, and we feelunloved, unsupported, whatever.
So now we are going to take ourquills or our power, and we're
(35:10):
gonna do one of two things, ormaybe things, but I'm gonna
mention two.
One is we're gonna try harder,we're gonna be sweeter, we're
gonna get more, we're going todo everything that we can to
entice the person.
Okay, another thing we're gonnado potentially is we're gonna
give anger just because it's notworking out, because we'd be
(35:30):
misunderstood, because thingsaren't going right.
But we're literally taking apiece of ourselves and and
trying to like do something withthat power, and we're literally
giving it away because a lot oftimes with the person we're in
relationship with, they might bethe reason we're trying giving
our power away so much becausewe're not feeling heard, right?
(35:54):
We're not feeling understood,we're not feeling loved, and so
we're getting more to try tocompensate.
And at the end of the day, wemight be left with one quill.
I'll give you another examplethat might be easier.
You have a boss who's uh youknow really tough, and they're
(36:15):
saying I know it all, I've gotit all, and you don't, you know,
nothing.
So once again, we're giving,we're trying to overcompensate
to meet their expectation ratherthan know our power and make a
choice of where to put it.
Cassandra (36:37):
Because if not, our energies drain.
Deborah (36:41):
So and our quills are gone until we're la down to the
last quill.
Going, well, I stood foreverybody else, I helped
everybody else.
Where are the people to helpme?
And then that's where, youknow, at least for me, um,
there's been tremendous sorrowto realize that I did it to
(37:01):
myself.
Cassandra (37:03):
Right, right.
It's kind of like, and I'll usethis little analogy.
Many of my listeners are awarethat when I was in corporate, I
I I actually grew up doing thecivil rights movement, and I
became uh what some people calltokens.
I was hired because I wasAfrican, I was black.
Deborah (37:26):
Oh, really?
Cassandra (37:28):
Not so much that I was qualified, and so I I I
climbed the corporate ladder,even though I was able to do the
job.
But what I did, because that'swhat people thought, I gave away
my power over compensating toprove that I was qualified, and
(37:51):
I got burned out.
Deborah (37:54):
Exactly.
That is exactly what I'msaying.
Cassandra (37:58):
So, what you're saying is you know your worth,
so you don't have to proveanything, just do you.
Yes, okay, I like that.
Yeah, yeah, that's amazing.
That is amazing.
So that's why you say reclaimit.
That's why you talk about thepenny, pennies worth millions,
right?
Right, claim it.
(38:20):
No, know that.
Um, and I tell you, I have afriend that collects pennies,
and whenever he sees a penny, hesaves it, he keeps it.
And the reason he keeps itbecause it says, and God we
trust.
Deborah (38:33):
That's what I know, me too.
Me too.
Cassandra (38:37):
So that energy just rises, like, okay, God and I,
the divine and I are connected,and that just brings him life.
So I get it, and I know uh mylisteners are now based on the
metaphors you use, the analogythat they're getting it.
So no need for low self-esteem,just demonstrate your worth.
(39:02):
Exactly.
Deborah (39:03):
Know your worth.
Because here's another here'sanother thing, Cassandra.
Just anybody can think of thisand it will immediately it's my
it's my favorite, one of myfavorite metaphors.
Think of Picasso.
Think of Picasso.
If you went to your child'sschool and it was hanging up
(39:24):
there, would you think it wasdone by a child?
Like a lot of the faces, thefaces absolutely, absolutely,
yes, just beautiful, and he saidit's worth a million, and guess
what?
And it is paying a million.
Who determined that?
He said, if he had said this isworth two dollars, you know,
(39:47):
all I did was go, then that'swhere your worth is, and it's so
hard to claim it, it's so hardto say, you know what?
I'm not gonna define myself bythe way the world sees
everything.
I am going to say, I am worth amillion.
Yeah, I could be a penny.
I'm worth a million.
(40:08):
I can uh give my power, I don'thave to give away my power.
Yeah, I'm a porcupine withquills up, quills up.
I'm ready to reclaim everythingthat I have.
Cassandra (40:22):
That's beautiful because when that energy rises,
it kind of helps you understandthat power, it comes to you,
like you said.
You know, when you went throughall those incidents, that's
when the divine said, Oh, I gotsomething else for you, girl.
(40:42):
Yeah, yeah.
That's why that um the Paisley,the musical, oh that is simply
beautiful for my listeners.
Those pictures, oh, they'rebreathtaking.
So not only so you in otherwords, you like that that uh
(41:05):
self-worth to me is a movement,and yeah, and that's what what
Paisley's going to do to theworld.
Deborah (41:14):
Yes, I'm still in development.
So the picture, you know, butthe thing is, is that at the end
of the day, I want people towalk out and actually get, oh, I
experientially understand howto reclaim my power through the
eyes of this porcupine, in this,you know, because because I've
(41:37):
done a children's book, uh lastquill.
I illustrated, I did it, it wasa tremendous success.
But all the moms were saying,What about me?
I like that better than theydo, because I need to take my
quills back.
And so this is like in therealm of wicked or the lion
king, it's magical realism thatwill appeal to all ages and just
(41:59):
hopefully knock their socksoff.
The music, by the way, isgorgeous.
A couple of people in my innercircle, I had them hear it, and
and even with the first song,they were crying.
And these are these are somepowerful women, so this is not
like you know, I know to trustthat.
Cassandra (42:17):
Well, I tell you, this is why I it's interesting,
and I'm gonna say this because Icould talk to you all day, but
we can't, yes.
Um, you know, another way thatI look at things and I'm looking
at your life.
I don't know all that happened,but I know enough that you've
been, you know, it's just a lotthat's been going on, and I
(42:40):
really think it was somethingthat someone was hopeful that it
would stop you from themovement that you're going to
do.
And I applaud you that thatcreativity is in you for a
reason, and it's kind of likewhatever was stopping you, ain't
no stopping you now.
(43:01):
I don't care what's going on inyour life, it's no stopping.
So I just want you to keep itmoving, and I'm gonna look for
that musical because I want tosee it.
The pictures are breathtakingfor me, and I wish I could show
them, but I love that movementto inspire individuals to start
(43:23):
reclaiming their power based onall that's going on now.
What a this is a time that isneeded, and I thank you for
that.
Thank you, thank you, thankyou.
Deborah (43:34):
Thank you.
Cassandra (43:36):
Yes, yes.
Um, I'm we're gonna have towrap up.
And I just wanted to knowanother thing, I I read
something about you, and I wasso on it.
How one can also expressthemselves through their unique
fashion, yes, and that connectedwith the porcupine, the
(43:58):
paisley, and all of that.
So, you know, it's it's kind oflike uh I got this quiz the
other day, and somebody wantedto, you know, if you want to be
an individual that don't want tolook old, how would you want me
to dress you, right?
Yeah, and it's amazing.
And I'm like, well, I don'treally think I need that because
(44:21):
I have my own style, you know,and I'm okay with who I am.
It's not about self-esteem,it's about self-worth, you know.
So that it reminds me of that,but that is so true how one can
express themselves through theirown fashion, and we're judged
by it.
Deborah (44:38):
That's why I picked that one with the body
positivity, all the things thatwomen go through that men don't
have to encounter.
Cassandra (44:46):
And we sometimes we put on the dress, but it's
what's underneath, exactly, andinside you're so right on.
Thank you.
So, listen, we're gonna wrapup.
And my listeners, man, I knowyou got a lot of nuggets from
this conversation, and I wouldlike for you to share this
(45:07):
podcast with someone that isstruggling with low self-esteem
or not even sure what theirpower is, and help them reclaim
it because that's gonna be theenergy to get them to start
doing whatever they were stuckwith, because whatever you were
stuck with is something tryingto stop you from moving forward
(45:33):
for you to give to the worldwhat you were here and created
to do.
Powerful, powerful.
So, Deborah, thank you so much.
I appreciate you and listeners.
Again, like I always say, byefor now.
God bless, and again, Deborah,thank you so much.
Deborah (45:58):
Thank you, Cassandra.
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