S5E12 The Lines We Draw: Protecting Children in Complicated Relationships

Texas Abuse Hotline [phone])

Two friends tackle an uncomfortable but necessary conversation about the moral complexities of relationships with partners who have troubling criminal histories. What begins as casual chitchat about work days and tattoo appointments quickly transforms into a profound discussion when Karina shares a disturbing story about someone who married and had children with a man previously imprisoned for sexually assaulting a child.

The raw emotion in this episode comes from deeply personal perspectives. Karina, a survivor of childhood sexual assault, speaks candidly about her inability to comprehend such a choice while respecting that everyone's path is different. Both hosts share powerful stories from their own lives witnessing domestic violence, creating an intimate window into how these experiences shaped their boundaries and beliefs about protection and accountability. What makes this conversation so valuable is the balance between understanding the complexity of human relationships while firmly advocating for the protection of children as the paramount concern. The hosts discuss cycles of abuse, mental health, and encouraging listeners to seek therapy not just as a place to talk, but as a source of practical skills for managing trauma. Their passionate reminder that no one should feel trapped in harmful situations comes with genuine offers to help connect listeners with resources.

Listen in if you've ever wondered about the difficult choices people make in relationships, how to support someone in a troubling situation, or if you're navigating complicated feelings about your own past experiences and how they shape your present choices.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I don't know, I saw that what the fuck.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
What is that?
I don't know.
A bug just fell on me.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Stop.
Is it a spider?
Because if it is, I'm leaving.
I don't know what the no, Idon't know what the fuck that
was.
Goodbye, bug.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Anyway, we were really interrupted by this
fucking black-ass bug.
Extremely rude.
Welcome back, you guys.
This is your girl, karina andmilani.

(00:35):
We're back.
What's up y'all?
We're more cheese, man?
No, for real, it's getting ajuice.
Yeah, I was giving milani alittle preview of what we're
gonna talk about today Because,honestly, a lot of y'all got me
fucked up, and by a lot of y'allI mean y'all women, oh, you
fake-ass bitches.
Hell yeah, that part Um bitch,okay okay.

(01:01):
So first things first.
Let's do our a little boringintro.
How was your day?

Speaker 1 (01:06):
What about y'all?
I guess yeah hurry up.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Okay, we're not here to listen to you.
Anyways, fuck you.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Fuck, whoever was that about?
Like bro, we actually don'tgive a shit.
That part have your own part.
No, but how was your day,though?
Did you work today?
Yeah, I did.
I was that, um no, but how wasyour day, though?
Did you work today?
Yeah, I did.
I was training people today,and it was honestly boring lame
training is always kind offrustrating sometimes it's just
because they know what they'redoing and I'm just standing
there like, oh, then I juststood there well, I mean, I get

(01:36):
it.
Yeah, it could be a littleannoying it's just like, bro,
like fuck it free money, I guessit is free money but at the
cost like out of my mental thingbecause, like I can't even talk
to him what I want, oh bro, hewas calling me fat.
Yes, bitch, yes, that's whatI'm saying.
I'm like, bro, what is this atAt him right now?
Viejito, nah, el viejito in thecorner.

(01:58):
It's always the old one, Iswear.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
What race.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
No, era como indio.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Arabic or something.
I was like if you were about tosay Mexicanos, I was like, I
mean, it's always those fuckingMexican ass.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
No, Kiss my ass.
Now that part.
I know you hear this shit.
If you don't, I'm going to putit in the background.
You know I'm talking about you.
No, bro, because like at firsthe was like, um, you got a
boyfriend or something.
I was like, yes, boy, he backthere, don't even try me.
He was like, oh okay, are youguys planning on getting married

(02:33):
?
And I was like that's a littlepersonal, ain't no y'all
business, but hopefully we'll goahead and see.
And he was like damn, are youtrying to have kids?

Speaker 2 (02:42):
and I was like I don't like where this fucking
conversation is going.
That's a very strong firstconversation.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
I'm like, bro, I just firstlymet you.
Yeah, I'm like who are youtrying to set me up with first
of all?

Speaker 2 (02:54):
I would have been like, yeah, we already married.
We got about five kids.
Why?

Speaker 1 (02:58):
you want one?
Nah, you to take care of it,all right, no, you're trying to
be my sugar daddy, or no?
Working there, he ain't beingno one's sugar daddy, damn, not
a sugar daddy.
You can be a regular daddy, butnot sugar.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
You ain't getting that money, even a four kids.
He can't even be no play daddy,oh that part, no, but then he
was just like.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
He was like, oh, do you like, are you working out
for, uh, for you to have kids?
And I was like, well, I'm notplanning on having them anytime
soon, like I still got a fewyears on me.
Lord, lord, bless me up, you'regonna go ahead and hook it up
until later, right?
he was like, yeah, because youneed to.
He kept on doing this motionand I was like, are you trying
to say I'm squared, first of all?

(03:45):
Fuck you, because I got a bigt-shirt on, okay, and I'm like,
and you don't know me, you can'tjust be like squaring me up
like hand motions.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, you're trying to box you trying to do the
whole thing like I'm gonna turnmine into fists, like what are
you?

Speaker 1 (04:03):
what are you trying to say Nothing, and I was like.
Well, I thank you for yourconcerns, my good sir, but, like
, whenever I decide to have kids, I'll make you the godfather.
So give me that money, no forreals.
That's crazy, but yeah, that'show my day was Interesting.
How was your day?
Um nothing, how was your day?
I'm not as interested as yours.

(04:23):
Yeah, nobody called you out.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
That's good.
Nobody called me fat, no.
Good, good bro, fuck a big fansince they tried, it was a
Monday, a very hardcore Monday,like my computer.
I was like an hour and a halfand the motherfucker was still
waking up and it's just likebruh, but it's just a lot of
internet issues, so it's justlike it said.
I'm not in it for today the typeof work that I do.

(04:47):
I have to have a lot of tabs onthe internet open at the same
time, so it's like it was just.
It wasn't just, as it wasn't asfast as I'm used to, as I would
have liked to, so it justfrustrated me a little bit, but
overall it was okay.
Like it was a really slow dayfor everybody.
Mm-hmm, I was the only one thatwas able to do anything.

(05:08):
Actually, everybody else, likethe computer wasn't working Like
no, they just, they didn'tclose anything Like sales, so it
was.
So it was just, it was a busyday, Just no sales day.
It was just a lot of justcustomers, a lot of
communications, a lot of talking, a lot of just questions with
customers and stuff, but noactual sales.

(05:30):
So that's what kind of sucks?
A little bit, yeah, but overallit went pretty fast for me.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, that's always a goodthing.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah.
So I'm excited because I'm offtomorrow hey, that part and I'm
more excited because tomorrow Ihave a consult for my tattoo
that I'm getting.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Bitch.
Oh, I'm excited for you, thebig Haiti.
Yeah, Haiti.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
I was supposed to get it this past Tuesday, but I
mean not past Tuesday, this pastSaturday.
Pero shit happened.
Long story short, I asked formy money back because I paid for
half of the tattoo, becausethat's what was required.
So I followed by the rules,right, and it really wasn't.

(06:16):
At the end of the day, I havenothing shitty to say about this
artist.
I believe her work is reallygreat.
That's one of the reasons why Iwent towards her, and I'm a
girl's girl, so I'm always goingto support the girlies, right,
I will support the girlies thatdo tattoos, that do everything
because, why not?
especially if you're latina?
You know she's mexican in thesouth side.

(06:37):
Of course I'm going to supportyou exactly somebody that I,
it's she's sisters with somebodythat I I'm associated with to a
certain extent.
I guess you can say I wouldn'tcall me friends, us friends, um,
but she's a friend of a friend,she's her sister, yeah, so just

(06:57):
, I just didn't like things were.
The communication from theartist wasn't there to my
professional liking.
That part she did have a lot oflive things going on.
That's not the reason why Icanceled.
That's not the reason why Iasked for a refund.
I understand that life happensRight.
I understand that you havefamily member situation going on

(07:20):
and I'm 100%, I'm okay withthat Understandable.
She did give me an option to arefund or to reschedule and I
was actually very open toreschedule with her yeah, hands
because I really liked her workright, I really, really like her
work and I like the way shewould do color tattoos, like
that's my thing, because the twothat I want right now is going

(07:40):
to be all color, right, you know.
So it's like I wanted to makesure that I was going to get
with somebody that's going to beall color, right, you know.
So it's like I wanted to makesure that I was going to get
with somebody that's going to beable to make the blue and the
red stand up, because those areboth strong colors.
You know what I'm saying so,it's just like.
So I did my research.
I mean, when I get a tattoo fora minute.
That's who I ended up with.

(08:05):
And just the the lack ofinformation that I was asking
for her.
It was just Not there.
It just wasn't for me.
So at the end I kept giving herchances to show me this tattoo
that she had supposedly alreadyhave drawn, and I say supposedly
because until this day I neverseen it.
I asked her about four to fivetimes, three different times,
not different days, I mean notthe same day, different times of

(08:28):
the day different days of theweek and every time I would ask
for a picture, it was like shewould just stop responding.
So when I gave her one morechance, I was like you know what
?

Speaker 1 (08:41):
no, I don't want to see it too anymore.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
I just want my money back at this no-transcript.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Well, because that's the thing though, like they
can't go ahead and send you apicture of it because of the
fact that you can take thatpicture and give it to someone
else and be like, oh, give it tome cheaper.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
No, that is true, yeah, and I do understand that
and I can respect that right.
But the thing is like I havebeen like I was already set with
her.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
I already have paid half of the tattoo yeah, that's
crazy.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
I wasn't gonna dip off and go somewhere else to get
it cheaper when I already paidhalf of the tattoo.
Right, we booked the day, webooked the time I, I, she told
me to send a deposit in twoseparate amounts, which I did.
Well, the first one was 50, thesecond one was 125.
It was she like the first one,I you know.

(09:31):
Obviously she told me thesecond one.
She would be like okay, on thisday I'm gonna need the 125.
I didn't even wait for her tocall me.
I didn't wait for her to text meyou just sent it right and I
was like sent the rest of themoney and she was like, okay,
cool.
And I was like, okay, so we'rescheduled for this time at this
day.
She was like, yes, ma'am, aweek went by and I was like, hey
, just a quick question, becausethe type of piece that I want
is going to be more of anoriginal piece.

(09:53):
Right, can't really go onlineand look that up, right?
So I had asked her if there wasa chance.
This is the thing I asked was Igoing to be able to see the
tattoo a couple of days before?
Just in case I don't likesomething about it, just in case
I want to so alternate, yeah,yeah.
Okay, and she said yes.

(10:14):
Okay, okay, I got you we hadthree weeks left, she said yes
and I said okay, cool.
So I left it like that.
I wasn't going to bug her One,because I know what I want
specific.
I know what I want has to becreated.
I know what I want is going tobe original, which she said
herself.
She was like I'm going to haveto draw this myself.
That's why she asked for acertain amount of deposit,

(10:37):
because she was going to have todraw it from scratch.
She explained herself.
That's what I'm saying.
In the beginning, we were allgood, she was communicating, she
was explaining herself.
And it's just like, as the daygot closer less communication,
less professionalism and that'swhere she really lost me.
It really wasn't what she hadgoing on, because fucking life

(10:57):
happens and I get that but it'sjust like I don't want to deal
with somebody like that becausethat isn't being communicated?

Speaker 1 (11:03):
yeah, because I want to know what I'm getting
tattooed exactly like that's onmy body for the rest of my life
yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
So like it would be different if I would like.
You said some people don't showit because they don't want you
to.
Yeah, if I want to pay anything, yeah, and I kept communicating
with you.
I was, and then I actuallycommunicated with her a week
before and then she confused mewith another customer, which is
fine, I guess I don't know nowthat I think about it.
She was like um, um, she waslike hey love, where can we

(11:33):
actually reschedule ourappointment for another day?
Because something?
You know.
She told me what was going on.
I'm gonna put business outthere.
You know, some shit was going onand I was just like, oh, I was
like, well, I don't know,because I asked for this day off
like a month ahead for thisspecific reason, because I can't
just change my schedule,especially where I work, getting

(11:56):
the saturday off.
It's kind of hard.
They don't want to give asaturday, you know.
Yeah, so I did express that andit will.
It will be kind of difficultfor me.
I was like I won't be able toprobably get into you, like get
in to this, the like for me toget tattooed, probably until
november.
But then she was like, oh, nevermind, um, I thought it was this

(12:16):
saturday, not on the on the12th, and I was just like, no,
it's on the 12th.
And she.
So I was like, so are we stillgood on this?
She was like, yeah.
So the thing is like she keptconfirming over and over that
you were good, that we were good, and that I was able to see a
tattoo and nothing.
So I just that same day that Icanceled with her, I just booked

(12:37):
with Jonathan he's the one thatdid my aliens tattoo and my
console is tomorrow and I'mactually very excited yeah,
that's exciting, so are yougonna get it?

Speaker 1 (12:49):
are you just getting the consultation done?
Are you gonna?

Speaker 2 (12:51):
yeah no, I'm gonna do the console, because I, I, um,
and just pretty much go overexactly like the like I'm gonna
do it in person, okay, so youcan see, I guess.
So you can see how big I wantit on my leg.
It was pretty cool, like hiswebsite like it made me take a
picture of the body part that Iwanted.
Then I'm going to get ittattooed.
And then I went online to kindof get pictures of Hades, the

(13:15):
Disney version, of kind of whatI like, of the blue and the red
version.
So I'm pretty excited, I do thattomorrow.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
Oh, that's exciting.
Yeah, hopefully he can give youlike a rough drawing of what
it's gonna look like and thenfrom there, like because it'll
be in person, yeah, so like,maybe he'll be more comfortable
yeah, I feel more.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
And then I like I said, like I mentioned, I've had
tattoos by him before, so Iknow that I'm not gonna go
through this.
Yeah, and no shade to the girl,her work is still really good.
Yeah, probably, like you know,later down the line I'll give
her another chance with asmaller tattoo, right?
Uh, when you know, her life isjust a little bit better under

(13:56):
her control yeah like that's noshade to her.
Her work is really great.
Yeah, it's just.
She just wasn't for me.
Yeah, not, not the right time.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, so I'm excited.
So that's one news that I gottoday, so it actually kind of
turned um my day around a littlebit.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
That's what's up?

Speaker 2 (14:11):
like yeah, I was pretty late oh yeah, and then
you have off tomorrow, so you'relike chilling all day yeah and
I get, then I'm gonna do somethings after um that with
jonathan we're gonna go supportsome kids play their games yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:26):
We support the children.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
But low-key, like fuck them kids.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah, Like other kids , other kids yeah.
Okay, well, with that beingsaid, talking about kids okay,
give me another fucking chisme,let me get fucking comfy.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Okay, I'm such a chisme person, cheese person.
Okay, welcome to our cheese man.
Cheese man, sesh.
I went to go get my nails done.
I went to go get my toes doneon a sunday after a good drunk
night on a saturday you should.
I went and I got drunk here atmy house, and then I went and
got drunk here at my house andthen I went and got drunk with
my mother-in-law.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
And.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
I came back home, I showered and passed out, woke up
.
Straight to my toe appointment.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
I was like we continue to party, Hell yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
No bitch, I barely woke up in time for my nail
appointment, okay.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
That kind of morning.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Got it.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
So she was in there hungover.
She's like, don't speak to meright now.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, I got in there and I was like JD, you got some
water bitch Because dry.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Right now.
I'm like dehydrated, yeah,crisp as you're speaking.
They're like chapping and shit.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
Hell yeah, Hell yeah, that's literally what it was.
I had a great fun, but anyways,I get in there with Janie and
we're doing my toes.
It was a soak off.
She was cleaning my toes andthen we got a new nail polish
and whatnot.
As we were talking, we like tochit chat and we were talking
about someone that we both kindof know.

(16:01):
Briefly, it's more like we knowof At least me personally.
I didn't get to meet her thatwell, right, I don't know how
level of how level of janie metthis girl, right, um, but we
both know of her.
Let me put it that way.
I had made a post aboutjonathan going out.

(16:23):
I had made a post aboutJonathan going out, and it's
funny.
You know, if you know mepersonally, you know that
Jonathan and I do separatethings together.
He goes out with his friends, Igo out with my bitches and we
go out together and it is whatit is Right.
Well, I made a status about howI didn't want him going out and
blah, blah, blah.
But it's a joke because if yougo to my status, all my friends

(16:46):
are just bullshitting with me,like one of them was just like
oh, just drug him.
The other one was like knockhim out.
The other one was like send meyour Addy, I'll help you.
Duct tape him to a chair and Isaid period.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
You know what you?

Speaker 2 (17:06):
know it's just a joke .
Yeah, like I don't give a fuck,please leave me alone.
No, it's like get us the bus no, for real when you're in here
with your friends, because youact like you live here.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
No, like you need a boys night so I can finally be
myself.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
No, for real and, for whatever reason, this person
decided to lecture me about howI need to let him be his own
person because there's going tobe issues in my relationship.
So I was just like, okay, whoare you?
You don't even go here, bitch.
Yeah, for real.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
First of all, For real, with the whole hoodie out
and everything.
She doesn't even go here.
That's what I was picturing.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
So, like so, anyways, so me and Janie are talking,
like I'm telling her about it,right, and she was like who are
you talking about?

Speaker 1 (17:52):
so then I tell her right.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
And she was like ah, she was like no I had a, she's
like I had a blocker and I'mlike, why give me more?

Speaker 1 (17:55):
yeah, I was like hold on, let's rewind.
What about you right I?

Speaker 2 (17:57):
was like why don't you get a blocker?

Speaker 1 (17:58):
hold on no like she's blocked, but why right process?

Speaker 2 (18:02):
I'm blocking her, but tell me why.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
We're still going to do it.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
So you know, the next thing that she told me it's I
don't really know how I feelabout it because it's like I
don't know, but I don't think Iwant to live in a world where I
will understand her decision.
She married a pedophile.
He went to jail because hesexually assaulted a

(18:34):
three-year-old.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Oh shit.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
Like actually assaulted him.
That's the thing.
I don't know if he just liketouched her.
I don't know if he penetratedher.
I don't know if he fingered her.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
But regardless, there was an assault done towards her
.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yes, yeah, like I don't Apparently, you can look
it up.
I haven't looked it up.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
I wouldn't want to.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
That's too much yeah so, like I was, just like you
know, you are allowed to marryanybody that you want to.
Me personally, I just don'tknow if I could marry a
pedophileophile well, did sheknow beforehand.
Yeah, so she knew his story.

(19:18):
If I'm not mistaken, theystarted talking when he was in
jail oh, okay, because that'sdifferent, like if you meet
someone on the outside yeah,like that's what I'm saying.
Like he, like, like, when I wentback to really thinking because
, like whenever, like after Ihad this conversation with Janie

(19:39):
, I was like hold the fuck up,you know what I'm saying.
Like from what I remember fromsocial media.
And this is the thing.
This is just social media,because I don't talk to the girl
, right.
You know, what I'm saying.
She's always talked about howhe struggles to get a job
because of his record Mm-hmm.
So I mean, who am I toautomatically think that?

Speaker 1 (20:01):
he sexually assaulted somebody, right?

Speaker 2 (20:02):
You know what I'm saying it could be easily from
drugs or killing someone or justyou know other stuff, Whatever.
Yeah, yeah, other stuffWhatever.
Yeah, yeah, just other stuff.
Right, but she's always saidthat, like she's always made
status and asking people to helpher try to get a job because of
his felonies and whatnot, and Inever really asked.

(20:23):
One, because I don't reallycare, it's none of my business.
Two, it's just somebody that Ihave on fucking social media.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
It's not a fucking friend.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Right, you know what I mean Not helping everybody, it
would be different if it waslike for you and you're like
posted on social media andbecause I know Ray and I know
you, I'm going to be like ohwell, what kind of affinity does
he have, depending on the typeof job?
Because you know it dependswhat it is.
Yeah, like some jobs stillaccept, but with her, because
it's just a social media personfriend, I'm I'm not to be fucked

(20:54):
up, but I don't see why I needto offer my help right you know,
but anyways.
So it's just like okay, so youmarry the dude and then you give
him kids that's wild.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Wait, hold on.
Yeah, that's wild so she giveskids.

Speaker 2 (21:12):
They have one kid already.
Oh yeah, and it's just like Idon't think I can do that, Like
I don't think me putting myselfin her shoes, but in my current
relationship I don't think Iwill be able to marry Jonathan
and I don't think I will be ableto give him kids, because it's
coming from somebody that wassexually assaulted as a kid.

(21:35):
I don't think I can have thattrust on a pedophile you can
never have I couldn't, I would,I would not be able to give you
kids and, god forbid, my firstkid is a girl.
Oh, no, no, I feel like I willfeel like I will end up
murdering him before justbecause I lose my mind.

(21:56):
I'm not going to be able totrust you around your own
fucking kid.
And you know what's crazy.
You know what's crazy.
The explanation that was givenwas he thought that he was
dreaming because he was.
He was high on some drug.
I don't know what drug, but mything is I don't give a fuck
what type of drug you on.
Why are you so grown as adult,even dreaming about anything

(22:16):
sexually with a fuckingthree-year-old?

Speaker 1 (22:18):
a child?

Speaker 2 (22:18):
I don't give a fuck if you're on heroin and on meth
on eyes if you're drunk acid.
Nobody in their right fuckingmind would think that's a
three-year-old and get horny.
That part you're gonna figureand defend your man that's crazy
.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
A person would always defend their man, regardless of
the situation, because they'realways gonna be like.
You don't know him like I do.
He's not like that anymorepeople will always make excuses
yeah yeah, but that's what theyare.
They they're excuses.
Like you know facts and you'rechoosing to turn a blind eye to
something that you know couldpotentially happen.

(22:58):
That's harmful yeah, that'sharmful for your relationship in
general that you don't havethat trust, you can't
communicate that to them Becausethat's you can't.
Like you can't bring thatconversation up to someone.
They're going to be like bro,that was years ago, like I'm a
new person, whatever.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
Narcissist Before you even say anything.
Oh, he's clean.
No, I will never trust you.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
It doesn't matter if you're clean now.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Like you've decided to make a decision that is now
forever going to haunt you forthe rest of your life.
People, that is now forevergoing to haunt you for the rest
of your life.
People make decisions like thatall the time.
Yeah, it happens.
Yours is just more severe.
Yeah, yours is more severe andit's not just hurting yourself,
it's now.
You're hurting innocent people.
Yeah, pure children.
It doesn't matter if kids havea hard time, they're still

(23:47):
children.
Yeah, like that's the part thatpeople don't think.
Like, yeah, like, that's thepart that people don't think
like you, can't, you, you stoleher innocence, like that is all
her childhood, like that's athing that, yeah, they're gonna
be thinking about.
Like, yeah, because they're achild you think that they won't
remember.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Like that's crazy and like not even that, like not
even that.
Okay, let's just say they don'tremember, but it happened you
went to prison for it.
You don't think some, you don'tthink a family member is gonna
tell her when she gets older,you don't think she's gonna get
not make fun of, but talkedabout like.
You don't think that family canjust be that petty and be like

(24:24):
oh, that's why you got touchedor that's why you know what I'm
saying.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Like I hope not, I hope not I hope no one's that
fucking petty, because that iscrazy yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, yeah, but there is, you know there is people
like that.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
Oh, they told her no, I was like no.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Well, this wasn't like.
I think she I don't know howold.
See, now I'm going to have todo like the research.
That's what I'm saying.
See how old she is now.
But like there is people likethat, like whenever I, whenever
I started telling people that Iwas like molested, two of the
important people that I feellike should have protected me
told me that I was lying.

(25:02):
So if there's people like that,I'm pretty sure that there's
people that will look at a, avictim and be like, oh, you did
it.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
Well, it's because they're turning the blind eye.
They're choosing to ignore yourcries for help to go ahead and
be at peace with the situationthat they're currently in.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
And that's crazy, like, that's crazy, like, would
you, like, would you If you'retalking to a guy and then the
moment they tell you I went tojail, and then they told you why
they went to jail or not evenyou Google them or why they went
to jail and they they see, oryou see that they went to jail

(25:45):
because they were wrong, theydidn't appropriate things to a
child.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
I don't think I could date a person like that.
I definitely wouldn't give themchildren.
That part like I wouldn't goahead, and if it's temptation,
like I'm not putting my ownchild at risk for that I
wouldn't be able to bring aroundmy kids no, this is a nephew.
No, I wouldn't trust you aroundmy friend's kids like, like you
wouldn't be allowed to come toanything, yeah, and so why would

(26:19):
I restrict myself from makingyou feel like shit, you can't?

Speaker 2 (26:23):
even come around holidays, you can't like you
can't even come out forhalloween, like there's things
that I, you are separate, butthere's like a lot of things
that you can't get involved inanymore because, you have this
person with you.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
If you choose to have this person in your life
because you care about them,they turned another leaf
whatsoever.
Whatever excuse you want togive them, that's fine, that's
you, but that's you like you asa person, as a woman, whatever.
You want to go ahead and havethat relationship, that's
perfectly fine because you'reable to yeah, you're, you know

(27:00):
you're able to make your owndecisions, but don't force that
because that's now being forcedonto a child because you want to
have that person there yeah,that's not okay, yeah, you
should always be trying to seewhat's the issue.
Go ahead and communicate withyour child, because, at the end
of the day, that child is a partof you.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
You carried them around and I wonder, like I
wonder, that it will cross hermind as she's looking at her
child, as she's looking at herchild and her husband play,
because the bitch married a manlike legally married him.
She proudly puts his last nameon everything.

(27:39):
And I was like baby, I wouldhave crawled to the rock.
If I, if I was forced to marrysomebody like that, I will, I
would just disappear yeah Iwouldn't like never.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
I would be like take my uterus out because it's the
safety now for that child that'sgoing to be created I don't
even think I could sexually besexually with you, like I don't.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
I feel like I will be thinking about too too much.
Yeah, about like, I like, no,like I just yeah, I feel
disgusted because it's like youhad sex with him, because you
have a kid.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, you had a kid with him.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah.
So you can't say you don't dothat yeah.
No, so it's just like it's nottalking shit to her.
It's just a situation that justblew my fucking mind.
People do that that just blewmy fucking mind.
People do that Like.
I guess I never really thoughtabout what happens to pedophiles
if they get married, if theyhave kids.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yeah, they continue with life.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
I guess I never really thought about it because,
sadly, the people, the men thattouch me, like weren't like
okay, like one of them hadteenager kids but he was single,
you know, like he wasn'tmarried, he didn't have any
daughters, it was just all men.
The second one had a daughterand had a wife.

(29:02):
You know what I'm saying.
But like I never met one out ofprison, I never met or heard
someone afterwards, because themen that touched me didn't get
convicted, Mine didn't go tojail, Mine are still free.
So it's like it's a littledifferent but it's the same and
it's just like you, you aregiving him a second chance and

(29:25):
it's like I get it Like somepeople, like everybody deserves
a second chance, blah, blah,blah.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
But like I don't think everybody deserves a
second chance.
Yeah, it's more of like whatyou're able to go ahead and
withstand and, like you said,you have a different experience.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
Like you have more of a.
I've been on the same side thata little girl has been.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Exactly Like you have a different story, yeah, so
it's completely understandablefor you to see it in that point
of view.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
I see it in that point of view too, Like I don't
think I could.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
Yeah, that's why I wanted to talk to you about it?
Because it's just like somebodythat hopefully I hope that was
never sexually assaulted.
How would you feel aboutsomething like that?
You know that I wouldn't beokay with it, yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
Like I get it.
Like I said, I understand, likeyou under you giving them a
second chance, but again, that'syou.
You really shouldn't do that toa child because you're not with
them 24 seven and just becauseyou think that, oh you know,
that's his child.
He wouldn't, they would.
There's documentaries onparents that would go ahead and
kidnap their own kids.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
Anyways, yes, bitch, that was my big shit right there
.
I was just like bro, like I, Idon't know I couldn't.
Yeah, like I also removed heroff my social media because it's
just like I, it's too much.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
That's crazy, though.
How is she going to go aheadand input on your relationship,
on what's healthy?

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Yeah, whenever he said that if I don't let him out
and make him come from home towork, there's going to cause
issues in my relationship.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
First, where is your man going after work Period?
Because, like, bitch, hold on,hold on.
Where the fuck are you lettingyour man go to go ahead and have
fun?
Fucking daycare?
The fuck are you doing.
Excuse me, no, no, no, like yougot me fucked up.
Like, how are you going to saythat's healthy for him to go
ahead and just have his timeoutside?

(31:26):
Yeah, bitch, you're not seeingwhat the fuck he's doing.
Yeah, like that fuck he's doingyeah, like that part, that's
crazy no, no, no, I understandthat there's healthy boundaries
of like.
You know, your partner doingtheir own thing, you doing your
own thing, y'all doing thingstogether, but separate, separate
but together, you know that'scompletely understandable, but
no, yeah, no, you can't havetrust on that.

(31:46):
Yeah, that's what I'm sayinglike at first.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
At first, whenever she commented, I was just like
bitch, you don't know myrelationship.
Everybody knows Jonathanfucking loves being inside His
outside, is inside of hisfucking game room playing his
video games.
Yeah, con que no le moleste andI stay feeding his ass.
He's happy, that part Okay.
He gets the same happiness ofplaying video games on his

(32:10):
computer with his friends.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
You almost said grandkids, hell yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
You're playing with them, little kids.
He gets the same enjoyment as Iget enjoyment when I go out
dancing with my girls.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah, everybody has their own thing.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
We're doing the same thing.
The only difference is he likesto be inside.
Being outside over-simulateshim.
Being outside can be too much,you know.
So it's like I need to be outto recharge my battery, right,
he needs to be inside to chargehis battery.
So it's like who are you totalk about my relationship like?

(32:47):
And I think it's like it'sfacebook.
You, you posted it on Facebook.
Yeah, I know, I know that,right, but if just how you're
looking at my status and youlook at the comments and how
we're all bullshitting around, Idon't need you to be Dr Phil.
That part, because I didn't askfor any advice.
Focus on your own shit.

(33:09):
Yeah, that part.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
Make sure your man is being being okay yeah, like go
ahead and focus on his everymove at this point, because like
don't be focusing on what I'mdoing.
Yeah, how about you focus onwhat your kid's doing right now?
Because where is he at?

Speaker 2 (33:24):
and then she gets.
She'll get mad whenever hedoesn't get hired in really good
jobs.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
Well, bitch how do you feel?

Speaker 2 (33:31):
How do you think these other men are going to
react when they find out thatthey have another man working
with them that touches littlegirls when they have little
girls, that part Do you reallythink they're not going to beat
him up?
Do you really think they're notgoing to do anything to him?

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Like they don't even have to beat him up up.
Do you really think they're notgonna do anything to him?
Like they don't even have tobeat him up, but he'll get
isolated, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
That's the thing like like he's gonna, they're gonna
make him uncomfortable, they'renot gonna make his life easy, so
obviously they're not gonnahire him, they're not gonna make
their man uncomfortable becauseof him.
Yeah, like that'sunderstandable everybody's
respect, everybody isreplaceable.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yes that part Everybody is replaceable.
And that's sad, though, becausesome people really do put in
like the work and shit and stuffto go ahead and like, prove
themselves, just to be like nah,you asking for a little bit too
much right now.
Yeah, everybody's replaceable.
Yeah, but just like how?
Everybody's replaceable likeyou is not going to be at the
top of the list.
No like you, was not going tobe at the top of the list.

(34:32):
No, not with that record.
I mean it's just what it is.
Yeah, and for good reasons.
I mean I'm sorry, but theydon't want to go ahead and have
someone with that type of recordworking at mcdonald's.
Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
And it's a fucking kid place exactly like you got
to really think about it, bro,like you can't be get into like
facilities yeah, it's somethingwhere you won't be interacting
with other people, or sometimesyou use the restroom as
customers or young kids going tothe into there, and it's like,
all bullshit aside, you gotcaught with one In reality.

(35:04):
How many did you touch?

Speaker 1 (35:05):
And was it?

Speaker 2 (35:05):
just little girls, or was it little boys too?
What?
What really did you like?
See, my mind just keeps goingmore and it's just like I know.
Like how do you sleep next tothat man, knowing what he did?

Speaker 1 (35:19):
separate like, it's like everybody has their own
past but, like sometimes you,you can't look past them.
I mean to her she just doesn'tcare or she's choosing to turn a
blind eye, I don don't know.
There could be more stuff goingon in her home that she's just
trying to ignore and that's whyshe's still there.
Some people are trapped, like,honestly, they made a mistake

(35:41):
and now they're stuck in it, butyou don't continue to bring
someone else into that situation.
Like, if you're stuck in asituation, I'm sorry, honey, but
you got to find your way outand you know ways out.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
It's always that part .

Speaker 2 (35:53):
And then I try to put myself in her family situations
.
When he comes around for familygatherings I'm like how would I
feel if one of my familymembers married someone like
that?
Like, would I feel OK beingaround them?
Would I feel OK with him beingover for Christmas dinner and
being in the same room as mykids?

Speaker 1 (36:13):
like I don't know, like I should, yeah I would just
be very distant, because youknow, at the end of the day,
that's not who I'm bringing home, that's not who I'm socializing
with at all times, even thoughI like my sister or my brother I
love them both dearly andwhoever they choose to be with,
hopefully isn't it end?

Speaker 2 (36:32):
Yeah, oh yeah, I get that.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
Hopefully it's someone that's good, but like.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
My kids wouldn't be.
My kids won't conversate withyou though, yeah, but my kids
will not be around forThanksgiving events.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
They will not get to know you.
You won't be invited.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
That's so-and-so's little friend.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
I'm like that's, that's her husband.
But you know, we don't talk tohim that much, we don't go
anywhere with him like we.
We put in restrictions, we'refrom the limits, there's
boundaries and, as my sibling Iwould hope, or like any family
member, I would hope youunderstand that, like you know,
there's going to be barriersbecause of the decisions you
made.
I still love you and I respectyou.

(37:09):
Yeah doesn't mean I have torespect the people you're around
with.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Mm, hmm.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
Honestly different situations.
But yeah, like it's, it's.
I feel like I will be the sameway, like as what you were
saying.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
To be with someone like that, like I feel like no.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
Oh no, that's crazy.
Yeah, like I would like.
No, oh no, that's crazy.
Yeah, like I would just be.
Like that's crazy.
Keeping up more attention tolike what the kids are doing.
What are they up to?
Who are you talking to?
Like?
Are you feeling comfortable?
Is there anything that youwould want to share that you
know that?
You know I have.
I'm gonna give you a safe placeoutside of your home, where it
should be a safe place.
So you have options, becauseyour home, where it should be a

(37:53):
safe place, so you have options,because your home doesn't
necessarily mean it's a safeplace, not all the time.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Yeah, and that also makes me wonder has he tried to
like attack her?
I hope not.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
Because that's a painful thing.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
Some women stick around with that.
It's not.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
That's a painful thing some women stick around
with that it's not that well,some women do stick around with
it, yeah, but other people, likeI said, they're trapped, and
that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Like well, I use the one word.
Some people like knowing hersituation.
She really has nowhere to goright.
So if this man is doing herdirty, she is stuck and that
fucking sucks.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (38:33):
you can still find a way out that's the thing that
irks me really much to this day.
People feel like they don't haveanywhere to go it's not the
fact that they feel that theydon't have a way out, because I
understand that feeling I've had.
I was in a relationship where Iwas trapped and I couldn't
leave, like it doesn't matter ifI was like to leave the place

(38:55):
that I was at, if I was tochange my car or anything Like.
There was things that were tieddown to me by my name that
would legally fuck me overConstantly as long as I was
there.
So I understand in that pointof like being actually trapped.
But the thing is you got tofind your ways out, Like you got
to be thinking 10 steps ahead,because these people do.

(39:15):
They're always going to try tofind ways to go ahead and keep
you there.
So you, you, there's ways outthere is there's a bunch of
resources.
You can book them up.
They're free.
They help you out.
Oh yeah, and you're still outof fear.
I understand that fear, but nowit's not just you getting hurt.

(39:36):
That's the one I don'tunderstand.
Like women that go ahead andlet their kids be physically
hurt, like, as I understand,you're getting beaten at two,
but now you're witnessing yourchild also getting abused yeah,
like you can't think, that'sokay as a woman.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
We can't some of us can't really take a hair of a
man, in general men's hair, like.
I'm not saying women can't takea hit.
I'm not saying women can't takea hit.
I'm not saying women can'tthrow a punch, because I know
that I can.
I can put some weight on mypunches Right.
Besides the fact that I'm big,I know how to throw a punch when
I'm standing in a good position.
You know, it's all about yourposture.

(40:18):
Yeah, men already have that.
Men are already wide, they'realready broad, they're already
built to look over a woman.
So if you as a woman, as anadult, grown woman, can't take a
slap or a punch from yourpartner, what makes you think

(40:40):
that?

Speaker 1 (40:40):
your son can't A smaller version of you.
Yeah, that your daughter can'tand you're teaching them that
version of you, yeah, that yourdaughter can't, and you're
teaching them that that's okay,yeah, that's the thing that
hurts Is the fact that You'reshowing them that, oh, it's okay
.
Daddy's just sad.
Oh, you know, he's just hungry.
He didn't have a good day atwork.
Why is that my problem?
Like that should not.
Yeah, if you're frustrated,don't talk to me until you get

(41:02):
that out, because it's not myfault.
Yeah, it's not my fault at allthat you had a shitty ass day.
Your boss got mad at you thatyou fucking got a flat tire.
It's not my problem.
You leave that energy outside.
I will help you find a solution.
You don't come in here and beatmy ass for it.
Yeah, you don't.
Yeah, I'm not going to go aheadand accept that, and if I do, I
I'm not gonna let my childaccept it it even sucks more

(41:26):
when the mom's getting beat up.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
Because I've been there, I watched my mom get beat
up and I walk into the room andhe's hitting my mom correction
he was choking my mom.
When I walked into the kitchenand when I hopped on him to try
to get him off, like he justturned around and like started

(41:49):
beating on me, right, and my momreally couldn't like do
anything because, shit, she wastrying to catch her airbag.
She was like trying to get herconscious back and shit, because
the motherfucker was about topass out already.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
You know, like my mom was like she was on the verge
of death, yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
So like, like for you to put your kids through that
and not leave.
It's crazy that part, becausethat same person shot our house
and we still stayed.
That's you know.
I think this is why, when janietold me this, that's why I took

(42:26):
it so fucking personal yeah,because you have that experience
with it, what like how can youstay?
You can't and you shouldn't,you really shouldn't like
there's ways you can, obviouslybecause you have your own pussy,
but you really shouldn't why doyou like?

Speaker 1 (42:44):
you deserve so much better.
Like you are created, you are aperson in this universe.
That doesn't mean you have tohave the shitty story about it
yeah you don't yeah becausethankfully my mom and my dad
were not like that and I'm gladthey were not physical.
They had their arguments, ofcourse Everybody does Right,

(43:07):
obviously.
Pero they would take that tothe room.
They would be like look we'rehaving arguments.
My mom would even come inafterwards and tell me and my
sister, like what was up?
Like you know what?
I know you heard some yelling.
I want you to understand that,like me and your father, we were
having some ummisunderstandings, not
communicating right or something.
Look, it's a one excuse, butwhatever, but she's making sure

(43:28):
we see unhealthy version of it.
Yeah, because, like, look whatthey could be yelling about.
I can't even tell you.
I couldn't.
To this day I don't remember.
But I do remember my mom becauseit wasn't traumatizing yeah but
it was a learning experience itwas more of like she knew to
distance it because she knew itwasn't okay.
And there was a time where shewent ahead and let well, my dad

(43:51):
he let his brother stay with usand my tío, he is an abuser he
went ahead and he would hit mytía and he would like go ahead
and hit my nephews and todo, andlike my mom was like, no, if my
kids don't witness that from us, why would you think it's OK
for them to witness that fromy'all?
You got to leave and they hadto because, like, the only thing

(44:13):
we did see was the fact that mydeal was playing with my
sobrina and she ended up gettinglike a giant cut from the back
of her neck because she hit thefan.
Oh, how the fuck.
Like as a kid, I just like,damn, that's crazy.
You threw her up, she hit herhead.
Yeah, damn, you didn't noticethe fan.
That's wild.

(44:33):
Yeah, now, as an adult, youthink about it.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
you're like what the did you do yeah?

Speaker 1 (44:39):
to that kid yeah like no.
So my mom was that line.
She was like we're not doingthat here, Like you guys take
your arguments outside andthat's already like too much.
Yeah, Because now you gotneighbors getting called Like
the cops are being brought over.
They're like who the fuck isoutside yelling?
We're like no, no one.
Yeah, like that's weird.

(45:00):
There's a cuckoo.
He's out for hours.
I'm like I don't know yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
But I had a tia like that también, where my uncle
used to beat her all the timeand my mom would always take her
in.
There was a couple of timeswhere he would just leave her on
the side of the road and wewould go pick her up with the
kids, like in the car seats andshit Are you crazy yeah.
Pero We'll go pick her up withthe kids, like in the car seats

(45:28):
and shit.
Yeah, are you crazy.
Pero my tia always went back,always went back, mm-mm, always,
until one time, ¿cierto.
Then she hit him with the frypan, ¿ya, and I said period
bitch ¿Y luego ya, después yaparó el pleito or what.
Well, no, yeah, now she has herown house and her cars and shit
and her and her kids are good.
I don't talk to that anymorebecause that got me fucked up.
Yeah, but she had a fucked uptime, damien, and like that's

(45:50):
the thing that sucks.
You know, like bitch, don't putup with it.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
Yeah, Like you really don't Like, stop doing that to
your kids.
Like like you're just lettingthem experience more, worse shit
the longer you let it happen,because it's not gonna change.
Like old, like that, they'renot gonna change their mentality
, whether it's they're stubborn,whether they have a way of

(46:14):
thinking, whether they thinkthat's all right, like I see,
like they've been spent time,years, thinking maybe they see
it growing up and they're likewell, my daddy used to hit my
mom, so what the fuck is theproblem?
You don't hear that fuckingstatement and think that's okay.
They really don't think aboutit like it's an issue, because
they grew up seeing it.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
You're letting these boys think it's okay to hit
their partner.
You're letting these girlsthink it's okay to get hit.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
And it's the same vice versa, mujeres también,
that are hitting these menthat's not okay.
Bitch just because you're smalland you're like, oh, it doesn't
matter, I'm tiny, that's stilldisrespectful.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
And that is very, very true because me growing up
watching women get beat my mom,my tias, just other family
members Made me really, reallystate that I'll be damned if a
man would hit me.

(47:18):
So I was very I had my mindsetthat I would have to be the
first one to get hit Before Iget hit.
Exactly by the time you flinch,my fist is going to be touching
your face.
And that's not okay either, andbecause I grew up watching
women get hit Exactly.

(47:40):
You're not going to find a mopto throw at me?
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
You think that, okay, if exactly like.
If you don't get that spectrumof like okay, it's okay for
women to be getting hit, likethey're just upset, they had a
rough time.
You're gonna have the othermindset of like, well, now I'm
gonna go ahead and beat on thesemen because, like, how dare
they think they're gonna goahead and throw the first punch
on me?
Like I'm gonna go ahead andhurt you before you hurt me.
That is also not okay.

(48:03):
Like, if you are in arelationship, if you're choosing
to marry this person, if youare choosing to have children
with this person, like you arechoosing to create a bond, a
safe place, because you lovethem, because you want to show
them everything you have, youwant to give them the most
respect, you're trying to givethem everything, pure, that you

(48:24):
have.
That that should be thementality, not because, oh, they
got money, they can go aheadand buy me my stuff.
Oh, you know what.
Like they, they're going to goahead and die soon.
So, sugar daddy all the way.
Like bitch, no, no, that stuffis not okay either.
Like you should be in itbecause you care about the
person and because you careabout the person and because

(48:46):
they care about you.
Why the fuck would I want to bewith someone that doesn't give
a shit about me and it's gonnabeat my ass up because they mad
excuse me.
Yeah, no, I don't want to bewith someone that I'll go ahead
and be like taking punches justbecause I'm upset too.
That's not okay either.
Communicate to me, go ahead andunderstand.
Let's grow together, becausethat's how it should be, don't't
?
No, fuck that I still have atío that be beating on one of my
tías.

(49:06):
She don't care, because she wasperfectly in Mexico.
Like she was in Mexico chillingover there.
She had her daughter.
They were like living the bestlife.
He was just sending money over.
Then she came over here and Iwas like she got worse, she got
worse.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
But she knew that from the very beginning.
So if you were good over there,¿por qué te vienes?
¿por qué te vienes, mi hija Escomo el dicho, te gusta la mala
vida.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
Yeah, that part I was like girl because you was doing
fine.
And then like they got into itat a family party, like they
went into the room and you couldhear it, Like it was just bad
that like my tia went in thereshe was like what the fuck?
Like trying to separate it andstuff.
And then she was like it's fine, we're about to leave and
everything.
And I was like but we're givingyou a way out right now.

(49:51):
You're going to take it or not?
No, we're leaving, okay.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
Like everybody just stood back because at that point
we're trying to help you andyou don't want to take it you
can't help someone that don'twant to help yeah, it's, it's
como you can leave the horse tothe water, but you can't force
the horse to drink it.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
That part yeah, yeah, you can't.
There's so many ways out.
You think they're only inenglish.
Bitch, they're in spanish.
Google it, there's ways to helpyou out.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
Frances and chino, lo que quieras because obviously
you're not understanding whatthe fuck's coming out of my
mouth exactly I'm like I said itin two languages, you want me
to bring out my sign language?
Not for reals, she's gonnaflinch bro okay, well, I that
just tripped me out like I'vehonestly been thinking about it

(50:43):
and I just I just been thinkingabout how, if I was in that
situation, why would I do?

Speaker 1 (50:51):
you know what I?

Speaker 2 (50:51):
mean, but it's just like it's get out of there yeah,
what are you doing?
It's crazy.
Yo, I, I, I just can't.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
I don't want to live in a world where I can
understand her thought processit's just the fact that she just
continued like the legal, it'sone thing when it's just by
yourself but when?
Once you're including adifferent person in there.
You're supposed to care andprotect for.
No yeah that's crazy.
I wouldn't, I couldn't whoknows?

Speaker 2 (51:21):
but I think that, well, not that.
I think I hope that he trulychanged and he's not doing that
Like that's the best thing thatI can hope for.
Because what am I going to do?
Force her to divorce him?

Speaker 1 (51:39):
That part.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
Force him to not let him be around their child's life
.
You know what I mean.
Like las decisiones se lehicieron, las cosas se hicieron.
Kids are already here.
Like I just hope and pray thathe actually did change.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
And being in prison did help him be better.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
Like that's all I hope being in prison.
You're getting your ass whooped, so I would hope so.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
When a chingisa, sometimes that's all people need
, not sure?
Yes, and I'm trying to be funnybecause it's not a funny matter
, but like I'm surprised he evenmade it.
Yeah some people a lot ofpetals don't make it not not
even like a week.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
So it's like it's more being discreet about it,
like you can't let people knowwhat you're in for and shit like
that to go ahead and survive,because people don't play with
that.
Yeah, people don't play withthat, with, like, any type of
murders.
They it's not okay like ingeneral, kids is different.
Yeah, especially kids.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
Kids are different, no those are things in general,
like everybody, like they don't,they don't fuck with that.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Like that's not okay.
Like just because you have theability, that doesn't mean you
should yeah.
Like just because you could getaway with it, does that doesn't
mean you will like bro, likethat's still not all right.
Like you're not okay in thehead for thinking that it's okay
that you're either not gonnaget caught caught or that it
doesn't matter.
Like you went ahead andaffected someone else's life

(53:07):
because of your own pleasures.
Que diaz, yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:11):
Like that's not okay.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Bitch watch porn.
Not for real Like people actand it's out of like everybody's
consent so you don't have to goahead and like go ahead and get
in that situation.
Adult porn yes.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
Adult porn yes, adult porn yes, yes, adults illegal
one no legal one scratch thatbeep.
No, they said like no legalkind please.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
This is crazy, like it's so crazy like there's so
much other things you could bedoing, why waste your time like
going ahead and affectingsomeone's life like that?
Like bro, you're not okay inthe head yeah, and it's okay to
not be okay in the head, but seea fucking psych, yeah, because
for you to go ahead and havethose sad parts.
Bro, like you know that you'relike.
I started to be like I don'teven know what.

(53:57):
I think that, okay, if you knowthat that's a fucking problem,
go, fucking get it fixed.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
Yeah like okay, bro, what the?

Speaker 1 (54:03):
fuck, are you doing?
No?

Speaker 2 (54:04):
just add me next time .
Therapy.
Yes, man, I need to go backtherapy.
Hell, where's your lady comingback?
She was supposed to.
It was supposed to be thistuesday, but she ended up
getting an infection.
Well, I think she ended upgetting an infection.
You know, she has lupus.
So having that surgery andhaving that risk, like that's

(54:25):
very like, very like.
We need to take care of this.
So I get it.
So she has one other two weeks.
So not tomorrow, not theobviously not tomorrow, probably
the next to the next, I don'tknow.
Yeah, yeah, um, I do have somethings that I gotta talk to her
about.
Her so healthy.

(54:45):
Yeah, got some questions aboutmyself, but it helps therapy
helps and if I feel likesometimes we think about shit
that we shouldn't because of thetrauma that we've been through,
or we do certain things becauseof the trauma that we've been
to.
It's known for people whosexually assault other people

(55:07):
Because they were sexuallyassaulted, but I didn't.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
It's making justification.
It's like making excuses, prayLike.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
Not everybody prays, right, not everybody has
religion.
Do the work.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
Do it for yourself, because just because you got
hurt doesn't mean that you haveto hurt others.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
And it doesn't mean that, like that, you are hurting
others, but there's somethingthat has been affected for you.
That is not okay, that wasn'tsupposed to happen.
That even though you mightthink like oh, you know whatever
.
Like you're not supposed tothink whatever about it.
Like you're not supposed tothink whatever about it, like
you're not supposed to justbrush it off like it's not a big
deal, like it is a big deal,like you should know that as a

(55:50):
person, you're able, you haverights and you have rights to
say no.
You have rights to go and say Idon't like that.
Like you have rights to just goahead and be like you know what
?
I don't?
I don't want to eat thisfucking asparagus shit.
Like bro, don, bro, don't giveme the fucking veggie.
Yeah, like, no.
Like you have rights to say noand you should just go ahead and
put work on like why.

(56:13):
Like go ahead and focus on, likewhat happened, to go ahead and
move on and grow.
Yeah, because it's notsomething that's just going to
all right.
I went through therapy.
Yeah, lo que paso paso.
It's not something that's justgoing to all right.
I went through therapy.
Yeah, look it, pasó pasó.
I'm okay.
It's still a process.
There's still so much stuffthat you could go ahead and be
just limiting yourself becauseof something that you don't even
know that is holding you back.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
Yeah, that's the crazy thing.
There's a lot of hotlines andwebsites that you can call for
help like that, whether you'rebeing physically, mentally,
sexually abused.
There's a lot of things outthere that you can reach out.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
And a bunch of therapy.
Now you can go ahead and reachout without having insurance.
And they're making it so muchaffordable for people, because
they're understanding that likeyou know what.
This world is not the same asit was, and mental health should
be taken more seriously.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
And it comes in a lot of different forms, like if you
don't want to physically meetup with someone, you can do it
virtually, like on the computerphone call, do it over the phone
so you don't have to see them,and a lot of places.
Do do it free over the phoneyou know, and it's.
Sometimes all you need to isjust have somebody, somebody to
listen to you.
And it's just like a lot ofpeople say how am I gonna tell

(57:27):
this person that doesn't know memy whole life?
That's, that's better.
That's better, yeah, becauseit's.
Are you telling me that it'seasier to talk to your mom is?
Are you telling me that it'seasier to talk to your dad?
like yeah, they could understandyou a little bit more, because
they're like okay, well, I knowso-and-so, but they're gonna
have a different opinion as welllike no one's gonna be on your
side like that yeah, and thenrealistically, I feel like there

(57:49):
is certain things that youcan't talk to your parents about
yeah, there's some things thatyou can't even trust your best
friend with yeah like they'relike some things you just sure
you can't even trust yourselfwith that part.
That's why you gotta go tellsomeone else yeah, a stranger
yeah, that neither doesn't careabout you but doesn't know
anything about you, and thatthey have the skills to go ahead
and see it yes, theprofessional skills, it's not.

Speaker 1 (58:14):
You just can't run to your friend who has, like,
they've been through shit,they're like okay, well, they
can relate bitch like who saidthat they made the right
decision.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
And also like it's not even about going to therapy
and just talking about yourissues.
You can also go to therapy andask for skills to help you
whenever you're having anxietyor whenever you feel very angry
or whenever you're feeling likeyou're going through an
emotional breakdown, therapy can.
Therapists can help you withskills and routines and sounds

(58:44):
and music and smells and booksand that can help you.
So it's like therapy is morethan just going and sitting and
chismeando and letting astranger judge you that part,
because it's not about that.
Nobody's judging you.
Nobody judges us harder thanourselves.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
That part and that's very accurate, mm.
Hmm, did you tell her to leave?
No, I tell that to myself allthe time.
Nobody judges us harder thanourselves.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
That part, and that's very accurate.
Did your therapist tell you?
No, I tell that to myself allthe time.
Oh, I was about to say I waslike that's a useful skill, if
your therapist told you youshould have just said yes, yes,
okay, scratch that ask me again?
no, yes but, with that beingsaid, you know, follow us on
social media.
Yes, listen to us on everything, everything.

(59:28):
If you go to a link thatJonathan created, it will show
you all of our platforms that weare on.
We're more than just on Spotifyand Apple Music, and we're on
iHeartRadio, on Pandora.

Speaker 1 (59:42):
Bro, we're on.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
FM radio Come on.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
Don't play with me.
The only thing that matters isthat you don't have the
resources to listen to us.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
We free and we're going to put the numbers, if
we're.
I'm going to ask Jonathan firstIf we are able to put the
number in the link for help.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Oh for hotlines.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
For hotlines everywhere.
Yeah, and if you need extrahelp, let us know.
We will definitely try tofigure out if we can help with
like a shelter or housing oranything.
Yeah, because there's alwaysways.

Speaker 1 (01:00:11):
Yeah like you, don't have to be struggling you really
don't yeah, you're your ownperson and you know what.
You have other people with yousometimes and it's not okay for
them to be seeing or witnessingany type of harm for yourself,
for them or that the otherabuser is doing to themselves.
Like, do you think it's okayfor them to be seeing them get
drunk on before 10 pm?

(01:00:32):
You're what's that?

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
word 10 am, you're enabling it is that what it?
Is.
Is that what the word is?

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
I don't know like you're laying it you're, you're
okaying it yeah, like you'reletting it happen, like you're
saying that, like you know whatbitch it's gonna be too late.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Sometimes that's not the case too late, sometimes
they get too drunk and they gotoo far upper like so then,
what's gonna happen with yourkids?

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
it's just you need to focus on what's best for you,
for your family, for your peoplethat you care about, and you
know what's right, like you knowwhat is good and what isn't
good yeah even if they like goahead and put it in a cheese man
way, like you telling it tosomeone else, like would you be
okay sharing those details aboutwhat's going on within your
life, some things you're goingto be hiding out.

(01:01:19):
Why are you hiding it out?
That's whenever you really gotto think like, well, maybe
things aren't as perfect as theyseem yeah, well, come on, you
think behind.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
You don't really know what's going on behind closed
doors.

Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
Not everything's gonna be explained, everything
is peaches and rainbows, andit's not everybody's business
but you could find someone thatgo to go ahead and help you out
with it, and they don't have tothat, like some people, like if
you go through a go to therapy,they can't go ahead and give
that information out to nobody.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
Legally they can't.
Legally they can't.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
So like you can go ahead and have comfort in just
knowing that information too.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
This is not a.
It's a professional friendship.
Yes, it's a friendship that yougrow with a stranger that
becomes your safe place because,they're not there to judge you
and you know, the firsttherapist might not always work
Like.
It took me like three or fourtherapists until finally I was

(01:02:13):
like okay, everybody else, Ijust Wasn't it?

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
No, Like you have to find the person that connects
with you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
Yeah, like the first time that I met with this
therapist, it was crazy, like Ilike just let it all out with
you.
Yeah, like the first time thatI met with this therapist, it
was crazy, like I like just letit all out and I it was.
That was very relaxing.
Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
I felt very right after that first session with
her you're like you know whatthis is the right path I should
take.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
It's just not with you, yeah so if you need a, make
sure you follow us on Facebookor on Instagram.
Yes, we're on there.
On this episode.
We will have those links.
Yes, and continue to wash yourhands, because bitches are still
getting pregnant from left toright Cooties everywhere,
cooties are still real Nastyasses.

(01:02:59):
Just disgusting.
Wash your ass.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
For real, con jamon, not just water.
Wash your ass.
For real, con jamon, not justwater.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
What I thought you said, jamon.
I'm like not con ham.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
This bitch.
She said pull out that fuckingThanksgiving dinner, I'm gonna
take a bath.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
Thanksgiving is around the corner.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
For real, you're gonna have some ham and you
better not be washing your asswith no tamales.
Bitch Hell, yeah, I'm a bitch,your ass.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
Do you like the dulce tamales?
You know, I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
I have not had them.
Oh, I don't think they'redisgusting.
I've had the ones with platano.

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
Yeah, no, you lost me on that one.

Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
Yeah, I don't know what I ate either.

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
They're just like it got platano in it and I'm like I
don't know, I've had the onesque los cocinan con la planta de
plátano, the leaves of plátano,like the little square green
ones.
I've had those, but no quetienen plátano.
I don't know, bro, I don't evenknow what the fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
I ate?
What kind of?

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
Mexican are you?

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
They were Salvadoranian, I think.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
Oh, I know, I know somebody from El Salvador.
I'm going to have to ask them.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Yeah, because I don't know what the fuck I ate.
They're just like tamales.
You want to try one?
I'm like is she, was it good?
No, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:04:10):
Nah, I'm like yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
They definitely were not my favorite.
Definitely go for cheese.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
I don't like the rosita ones, the one with pasas.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
I don't like them.
I don't know what that is.
Is that raisins?
Yeah, I only know from that onemovie.
Oh, what's it called that?

Speaker 2 (01:04:29):
really sad movie with um um, I don't know who you're
talking about.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Yeah, no, it's not a new I think so that one from
familia peluche.
Yeah, yeah, that hoe, oh that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
I love him, he's funny, he is funny.
I like the.
There's a movie where he madethe little white girl yeah,
that's the movie I'm talkingabout.

Speaker 1 (01:04:56):
Oh yeah, yeah, he was like how do you say paz in
English?
And she's like raisin.
He was like over here, raisinraisin I'm like bitch in English
and she's like raisin.
He's like over here, raisinraisin, I'm like bitch doesn't
that be fucking raisins.
He taught me Spanish andEnglish.

Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
Not included or something like that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:13):
That movie's so sad, fuck that movie, bro, I love
that movie.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
Fuck that movie.
Okay, now you gotta watch thatmovie.
Did you ever listen to thatsong that I told you about?
Because the song that I toldyou about, because the song that
you recommended to me, I didnot.
I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
I think I'm not gonna lie.
I don't think so.
I think I put it on my Spotifyand I just I don't even remember
what song I recommended.
I'm about to go back and lookfor it and be like yeah, I did
yeah once the episode episodeairs when my eyes go back to my
pre-record and be like actuallyI did listen to it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
It's my new jam.

Speaker 1 (01:05:48):
I'll be listening to that in the fall but alright,
guys, we'll catch you later.

Speaker 2 (01:05:52):
Bye.