February 20, 2025 • 28 mins
Amy talks about the importance of public speaking and why everyone should develop this skill as early as possible in their careers. She discusses support systems, preparing for business travel, strategies for conference attendance, and building strong networks. Amy shares why it is important to celebrate and share your successes as an individual and not just as part of a team in order to advocate for yourself and advance your career.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rachel Humphrey (00:01):
I am Rachel Humphrey with It's Personal
Stories, a hospitality podcast.
We are a non profit organizationdedicated to empowering personal
success within the hospitalityindustry.
I'm super excited to be joinedtoday by Amy Vaxman with QuestX.
Amy, welcome to the program.
Amy Vaxman (00:17):
Thank you.
I couldn't be happier to be heretoday.
Rachel Humphrey (00:21):
Everyone knows I love turning the tables on
people in the media andconference space who you
normally get to do all thequestioning and put everybody
else on the hot seat.
So excited to jump right in andtalk a little bit about your
path to leadership.
One of the things I love aboutthis industry is how unique it
can be.
And really, everybody's is verydifferent.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour journey and how you got to
(00:43):
where you are today.
Amy Vaxman (00:45):
Yeah, it's fun.
Going a long way back.
So in 1994, I joined what wascompany called advanced star.
I was hired back then to come inand run a group of trade
magazines in an insideorganization, inside sales
group.
And they had one of thosemagazines was hotel management.
(01:06):
So they, and back then thepublisher of the magazine was
Alex Dubar, who became a mentorfor me and a couple of years
down the road, he had asked mewhat I move over and into his
single work.
So I chose to go.
And that brought me into whatwas then the hotel industry.
And then fast forward, Quest Xwas a spinoff of advanced star.
(01:30):
And then Scott Pierce was hiredto come in and be the publisher
and yes, Scott Pierce.
Older brother of Keith Pierce,who is, we all know at Synesta,
so very small world, evensmaller world is their dad is
Walter Pierce, who at one pointwas publisher of lodging
(01:50):
hospitality.
So we all, get to meet eachother.
So then Scott was there for acouple of years and he then
talked me into becoming thesales director for hotel
management.
All the way back in probably1997, started my leadership
track in the hospitalityindustry and here we are today.
Rachel Humphrey (02:14):
It's amazing to think to again, touching on so
many topics of mentorship andrelationships.
I did not know your relationshipto the Pierce family.
So that's very interesting to meto hear as well, but going in
and starting.
At the one company, but beingthere almost 30 years now or
just over that, I think isreally incredible.
(02:34):
I want to pivot to somethingright off the bat that, is very
important to me right now.
Spending a lot of time talkingabout really the critical
importance of public speaking inour career path.
You as both a media person, butalso in the conference space
have a lot of opportunity tosource speakers, but also do a
(02:54):
lot of stuff.
So I'm curious your thoughts.
Are you comfortable as a publicspeaker, as a moderator, whether
it's to your team at aconference on an episode like
this, do you have preparetactics you use?
What are some of your thoughtson public speaking?
Amy Vaxman (03:12):
I would say, it's something, that I've grown into,
still not always comfortabledoing it.
That would be the one thing Iwould say to somebody coming
early into your career, take aclass, get a coach, learn it
early.
You're going to be doing itoften.
You're going to have to do it alot.
Whether it's look, I lovetalking to my team.
(03:33):
I love going out and presentingto, a group talking about our
products, talking about ourshows, do you love going in and
presenting your budget to yourCEO?
Yeah, not so much, and butthere's, you always need to be
prepared.
Last year I did IMC NYUconference.
I prepared for that for weeks.
I worked with we have aconference producer that does a
(03:55):
lot of our shows in the UK.
He was an awesome coach.
He gave me everything from, howto prep where to stand on stage,
how to work in, doing tongueexercises.
So you're not tripping over yourwords, how to work on your
script.
There's a lot of techniquesthat, you really need to hone in
(04:15):
on and that, to make yourselffeel comfortable.
But.
Even today, I wrote out all ofyour questions.
I made sure I had my, I thoughtabout my answers.
I wrote them down.
I think when you think you canjust do it off the cuff, that's
where you stumble.
One person I know who I BrianQuinn, if you ever, have a
chance, he is one of the bestprepared public speakers I know.
(04:40):
I've even told my son, all ofthem, he, every time I see him
go and speak, he's He preparesan entire binder of everything
he's going to talk about,whether it's going to a round
table, whether he's, talking ata conference, he does all of
that research ahead of time.
He's prepared.
He tells me.
goes in front of a mirror,talks, knows everything he's
(05:02):
going to say, what his keypoints are, so I would just tell
anybody practice, but startearly on in your career so that
you are so comfortable andyou'll have the opportunity,
more opportunities than to beout there doing it.
Rachel Humphrey (05:17):
I love the advice of practicing and
preparation and being thoughtfulin what you're going to say.
I actually interviewed Brian.
I've sourced Brian for us as aspeaker a lot but I've also
interviewed him for the podcastand he shared a lot of that
preparation and those strategieswith us, so I appreciate your
sharing that one of the thingsyou mentioned was, some of the
(05:37):
relationships that you've hadsince you first entered the
industry.
And I always like to tell peoplewhy I have asked someone to join
something that they, a waythey've impacted me that has
really helped my career along.
And one of those for me with youis actually.
building relationships andnetworking.
One of the things that I havelearned from you is that you
(05:59):
don't need the hour meeting orthe big phone call to have a
topic, but really, each time weare in the same place, we are
very intentional about justcatching a couple of minutes
together.
And I might ask how the kids aredoing or what college is looking
like.
Or what retirement might looklike, or we might be talking
about elevating women in theindustry or what's happening at
(06:20):
our jobs.
But it isn't a meeting wherewe're like, okay, let's get down
to business and do all thesethings.
And so by seeing you over what'snow been 10 plus years at
different things in theindustry.
we've been able to form a verygenuine relationship built on
just that enjoyment of seeingeach other.
And that has been a reallyimportant lesson for me to see
(06:44):
both the consistency of it, ofmaking sure we're on each
other's radar, because then whenI reach out and I ask you to
join me, hopefully you will sayyes and vice versa.
And so I really appreciate.
The way that you are veryintentional in being genuine in
your relationship building.
And that leads me to ask you,building a network is very
(07:04):
different from networking and weall build relationships in ways
that are very genuine to us.
Can you talk a little bit aboutthat side of your professional
life?
Amy Vaxman (07:16):
Yeah, and it's so funny.
That was one your list ofquestions.
I said, that was one of myfavorite questions you asked
because I think it's that haschanged so much over the years
of how I see it and how, peoplecoming into the industry see it
now.
There is networking.
And networking, is not how manypeople you add on to your
LinkedIn and go in and, justkeep checking off and, saying
(07:39):
that my network is now this big,networking is walking into
conferences and shows andmeeting people for the first
time, having a meaningfulconversation, shaking their
hand, asking questions abouttheir business and potentially
learning something personalabout them and then making that
decision going forward.
(08:01):
Are they going to become part ofyour network?
They may or may not.
They may just become, somebodythat you continue to network
with and you see them inconferences and you continue to
learn more about them, butyou'll go deeper into it.
And like you said, you'll thenbe built.
You're there will become part ofyour network because you'll know
(08:21):
a lot more about them.
You'll know when their daughtersor sons getting married and
you'll, and.
Your network builds from there,and I think you have to learn
the difference from that andgrow your network, there is, but
you still have to be able towalk into a room as coming into
this industry and be comfortablenetworking and learning how to
(08:42):
walk up and shake people's handand introduce yourself and know
their company and ask greatquestions.
So that, and be able to presentyourself.
And I think some of that hasgotten lost a little bit over
the, in our younger generationnot to sound old, but, just in
that younger generation and itmay be a little different on the
other side of COVID, I thinkit's, it's something I, as we
(09:06):
bring in younger employeescoming into it, I think it's,
and especially in the sales sideof it, I think it's something
they really need to learn.
So we, you and I would look andsay, we do have a a large
network of people But we stilldo, we still network and build
new people because we are alwayslooking for people to put on a
(09:26):
panel people, to bring into themagazine.
We want to have differentinterviews.
So there's you have to do a bitof both.
Rachel Humphrey (09:33):
I like the differentiation that you have
between networking and buildinga network.
I think that's a reallyinteresting way of framing it.
And the fact that you are goingin and looking for something in
common or something personalabout people.
I think it's something that youdo very well.
Amy Vaxman (09:50):
Thank you.
And one of what I'm hoping I'mnot jumping, but one of your
other questions, was talkingabout just, for a woman and this
is not necessarily a woman, butbuilding your kind of like board
of directors.
And that's, part of your,overall network too, because
it's, you build it on threelevels in my world.
I think you have your personalone, because as you start your
(10:13):
career and, you're starting, wetravel, we have a lot of travel.
So you've got to have yoursupport system that begins at
your home.
And that's, your husbandpartner.
And because you're going toleave and you think you have it
all put together in your plans.
But automatically, as soon asthat you're on that plane,
something falls apart andsomething wasn't left at school
(10:34):
or you left something at homeand before Instacart existed,
you're calling back to say, canyou FedEx me something or, and.
You're relying on more than justyour family, your, that network
you have around you, runs to theschool for you or runs to FedEx
and sends you something.
So you have to build thatfoundation for, to exist before
(10:55):
you even leave to travel.
And then you have, in your, Ifind in your work company, you
need to build a system.
of people outside your team.
Like you need that person infinance or operations and
different people that you'vebuilt a relationship with so
that you have a go to person inall of those areas that helps
(11:18):
you when you're traveling orwhen you're trying to get
something pushed through that ifyou've built a good relationship
with them.
They're going to help you sothat you're just not coming, you
just like we're talking about,them on a personal level, a
little bit about them.
You're not just coming to themall the time.
Just pushing something throughto them.
(11:39):
You've taken a little bit oftime to nurture that
relationship.
That's going to come and pay itforward down the road.
And then the 3rd piece of it is,Your network of people that you
go to for advice, you are one ofthem for me.
When I just need to know, I wantadvice on a subject that I feel
like I can, be, have aconfidant.
(12:00):
There's a few people in my closenetwork that I would ask a
question that I want advice on.
What are your thoughts on this?
And that's a smaller network,but I think you have to have
those three, really key piecesto move your career through and
you've got to keep them whereveryou go, job to job.
Rachel Humphrey (12:20):
That's a great way of having different systems
for different purposes.
Before overnight, Amazon, thecomputer charger is what I
always left at home and alwaysneeded FedEx to me.
The laptop.
Roger, for some reason, wasalways still plugged into the
world.
I agree more.
I've left it behind, many times.
(12:41):
Amy, you mentioned traveling alot.
And in this industry,particularly, there is a
tremendous amount of businesstravel.
And that can be one of the highpoints for a lot of people of
the industry.
But we all learn to manage itdifferently, whether that is
through self care, throughorganization and scheduling.
Some don't feel like they manageit very well.
How do you really tacklebusiness travel from a
(13:04):
preparation management self carestandpoint?
Amy Vaxman (13:08):
I think we try to get to the point where we
finally learn hopefully allthese years later not to
overpack would be our startingpoint.
But that's probably I think Istill fail at that one even
after all these years.
But I'll tell you one thing Ilearned.
Is really going into it muchmore prepared is, as we go into
these conferences is looking atthe list, but then I think the
(13:28):
one really big thing is notoverscheduling yourself when
you're going there, that issomething that, we used to go
look at it and be like, look atall the people that are going to
be there and you try to scheduleyourself every minute of what,
of the time that you're thereand then what you end up finding
is You miss the opportunities tomeet people as they're, as
(13:52):
you're passing them in thehallway and have that five
minutes of somebody you reallywanted to see and it didn't fit
in your schedule anymore, orthey're saying, Oh, I could talk
to you, but you're like, Oh no,I have to be somewhere.
Or when somebody calls you asyou're passing and they're
sitting together with a greatgroup of women and you want to
sit down and talk to those fivepeople and you can't because you
(14:13):
have somewhere.
Use your time.
But give yourself some downtimefor those great meetings that
you're going to be able to haveor 20 minutes to sit down and
get rid of, 20 emails out ofyour inbox so that when you come
back, you're not looking at,300.
You learn, I think a bit thatyou need to manage your time a
little better and not.
(14:35):
Just overschedule yourself sothat you can keep up with the
travel because, it's an, it'spart of our business.
So we're going to be, it's notgoing to go away and that's not
going to be, so we just have tomanage it.
And, now, you have to use theplane time where we used to, it
used to be nice when we couldread a book on the plane, but I
think I've gotten, I've.
(14:56):
Now got a little smarter that itis a good time to, go through
your email and land with a muchcleaner inbox.
Rachel Humphrey (15:04):
I love that the topic of not overscheduling.
I think that's something a lotof us do is trying to maximize.
You miss that trip by reallytrying to fit in everything and
you're right, you do miss someof those most important
interactions by not having anopportunity to just be present.
(15:24):
You and I have talked a lot overthe years about Our kids in the
stages of their lives in thestages of our lives.
And as you mentioned, you travela lot, but you also have a very
demanding work schedule.
You are not a nine to five orwhen you are not traveling, talk
a little bit about, I don'tbelieve that we manage our work
life or balance our work life,but whether you can find harmony
(15:46):
in your work life.
And what are some of thoselessons you've learned over the
years, maybe doing itdifferently today than you did.
Earlier in your career.
Amy Vaxman (15:58):
Oh, I would say, if we're looking at a work life
balance I would probably tellyou, I did it better younger.
And I think it's the nature of,when our children are younger,
you're forced to balance it alittle bit more because they're
there and you're, you want to bepresent and, you don't have a
(16:18):
choice as much as we grow olderand they're gone.
And my husband would be the 1stto tell you that, I'm not as
good at doing it any longer,but, but I'd love to take the
opportunity that away from it.
You kno and I get on a plane andnow to just not look at m time
(16:41):
we're going, you kno Year or soago, and I looked for a couple
days and then I just decidedshutting the laptop off and I'm
going to just not look andwhatever I come back to if it's,
700 emails at 700 emails becauseI think you just have to take
some time and really disconnectand It is all going to be there
(17:03):
when you get back and, part ofbeing a good leader, I really
think is if you don't letsomebody else take the reins and
work it through and know thatthey can do it and make the
decision when you're gone, thenyou really haven't taught
anybody anything.
It's letting go a bit to know,if you, if it's not going to
(17:23):
fall apart while you're gone.
So
Rachel Humphrey (17:26):
that's an important leadership piece of
advice, too, of being willingto.
I think you and I tend to besimilar in the fact of wanting
to make sure that everything isdone and done at a high level
and timely and all of thesethings.
And so letting that go is veryhard for us.
I find it fascinating that yousay that you were better at it
(17:47):
when you were maybe needed moreor forced to be present more.
And I think the blessing and thecurse of technology is you can
work anywhere, but the curse isyou can work anywhere.
So being really intentional andshutting down during those times
of Disconnecting or rejuvenatingyourself or whatever it is can
(18:07):
be really important.
You were just talking about aform of leadership on your team.
One of the things that we hear alot is how difficult, especially
as women, but it can apply toothers to really advocate for
ourselves.
If you had, someone on your teamor someone who came to you as a
mentor and said, Hey, this is aplace where I am not as
(18:29):
successful right now as I'd liketo be.
What advice would you give onadvocating for themselves for
whatever it is, a promotion, anew role, a responsibility a job
with you that they're interestedin?
What is the best way of reallyfinding that inner advocate?
Amy Vaxman (18:46):
I think I think a couple of things, I think, As
we've been talking about justbuilding relationships, I think
one of those things is that selfadvocacy in itself is building
strong relationships.
But, one thing I would tellpeople is you really, own your
own wins.
So every, you want, you're partof a team.
Everything you do doesn't haveto be, we got this deal done.
(19:09):
If you did it, say, I led thestrategy.
Everything doesn't have to bewe, and I would also tell
somebody, speak up on your bigmoments.
Don't wait till you're at youryearly review to highlight
things that you've done, speakup for yourself.
If you had a great win, say itduring the time of the year when
it's happening and claim it,tell it, put it in there and I
(19:34):
keep a bulletin board ofeverything you do, or not
bullet, note for yourself sothat when you're talking to your
manager, tell them about yourbig wins.
So that you're always keepingthat in their forefront and top
of mind,
Rachel Humphrey (19:48):
celebrating ourselves is hard and it's, I
think it goes against the naturefor so many of us were very
quick to be hard on ourself withour not wins, but very difficult
to celebrate.
So I really like that of owningyour own wins and that.
While we are a team and there isa we, there's a right time to
also be an I.
I think that's really important.
(20:09):
Amy, as leaders, not everythinggoes our way all of the time
that we want it to.
And sometimes part of leadershipmeans facing a challenge head on
or overcoming a setback orsomething that didn't go how we
wanted it to.
Do you have a strategy that youimplement when you are faced
with a setback or maybe somesort of obstacle that's not
(20:31):
going your way?
Amy Vaxman (20:34):
I think, yeah, for me, that's another time I use
some of my network.
I think you have to go and, goto some of your mentors some of
your teammates and look to say,as a group, find some
strategies, how would you handlethis situation?
Because some of it, you can justhit a roadblock that you can't.
(20:57):
see a way around.
So that's when it's an outsideperspective is probably the best
way to find, find a way around.
It's not necessarily inside yourcompany.
That's what a good mentor canhelp you find outside and using
your network.
I think is one of the best waysto use is the best time to use
(21:19):
your network.
Rachel Humphrey (21:20):
And that goes back again to why it's so
important to really developthose relationships.
So when you need that support,or you need that type of
recommendations or suggestionsor strategy.
As you mentioned that you have agroup there that is more than
willing to jump in and talk youthrough it.
The other thing as leaders isthat it changes over time.
(21:41):
So who we were as a leader maybe20 years ago is very different
than who we might be as a leadertoday.
When you think back over in theindustry and interestingly, all
with some version of the samecompany.
What does Amy say has gottenbetter over time?
And other than maybe your worklife balance, is there something
(22:02):
that you think has gotten worseover time?
Amy Vaxman (22:07):
Yeah, I think your, the ability to make, strategic
decision making, risk, takerisk, those things have gotten
better.
As you're developed and, knowthe industry, know yourself,
know your market, that becomesmuch easier.
Just with, experience.
What becomes as we were justtalking about what becomes
(22:28):
harder and technology to your,you know what we just said all
of the technology that has comeinto has developed in all of
these years.
There's forecasting tools there,sales force.
All of the things that have thatweren't there when we first
started have made those kind ofthings so much easier for us to
do to work from, people.
A distance, be able to, getthings that we could not, you
(22:52):
know, we, you couldn't even, somany things were manual.
You couldn't even have a lot ofthe forecasting tools that we
can have or, be able to getcustomer insight that we, that,
you have now to be able to lookat.
But one of the things that doesget harder is just what we said
earlier.
We, we were involved in everydecision and, as you launch new
products or launching thehospitality show, that you want
(23:15):
to be involved in every step ofit because you're so afraid to
step away.
And that, if is something goingto not happen if I'm not
involved in the trenches of it?
And that's, that's where itbecomes that, you, You can't be
involved in everything or youare never going to have the work
life balance because, and I saythat to Alexi all the time
(23:38):
because, he falls prey into thesame thing and that just
trickles down, he, we, we havetoo many chefs in the kitchen
because, he's involved.
I'm involved.
And then, we both, we don't allneed to be involved in every
piece of it.
So I think that's the really thehardest part in, it.
That, I can't, we all can't getaway from and to just, turn it
over.
But, I think we've all gotten somuch better with everything, all
(24:01):
the tools that we have and justknowing that we know how to make
better decisions.
Rachel Humphrey (24:05):
Yeah, I can definitely relate to that one.
One of the things that was noton our radar when you and I
first entered the career forcewas this idea of personal
branding or having a mantra or asaying or something by which is
your guiding star.
Do you have something that youreally feel like?
Day in and day out, is yourguide or the words that you live
(24:29):
by, or something that reallyhelps you become both the leader
and the human that you want tobe.
Yeah.
Amy Vaxman (24:38):
You know what I have?
I do.
There's, I think I approachthings in a different way.
So I, I.
I'm rooted more now in like acuriosity and in a persistence
and like in a willingness justto adapt find it my own personal
brand is just in, in thecompany, in my work life is all
(24:59):
about strategic growth.
That's what I want to do.
My own personal tagline, I thinkit's just to be.
Driven by passion but guided bywisdom.
That's how I want to wake upevery day and.
That's, live my life that way atthis point, I think that's how I
just look at everything now,many years into it.
Rachel Humphrey (25:23):
Driven by passion, guided by wisdom.
I like that very much.
One of the things you just saidat this stage of your life, and
one of the things that I reallylove is the power of reflection
and looking back as we continueto evolve as people.
As you look back at 21 year oldAmy.
What would you tell yourself?
(25:44):
Either something you wish youknew then that you've learned
along the way or maybe about howthings turn out for you.
Amy Vaxman (25:52):
One of the questions, things that we talked
about earlier, I said, if I,what I know now, I would tell
myself right now, in college, Iwould have taken more public
speaking classes, but out ofcollege, I would have gotten,
more involved in a publicspeaking class, classes,
coaching, the kind of thing ithas something that I really
(26:14):
pushed on all of our children tomake sure that they've gotten
that opportunity and have foundnow.
I can look to say each one ofthem have found their space and
have in their companies, or someform, have all gotten up on
stage, presented something, donesomething, all by the time
they've been, our oldest one isjust turned 33.
(26:36):
And in fact, we saw him over theweekend and, he had just, they
just did a big company outing.
And he was like, he was up therepresenting to the whole company.
His presentation to their, andhe said his CEO came up and was
so excited about how well he haddone.
And I said, that was a huge winbecause it was passing that
information, that on to them.
You need to be able to be agreat public speaker because.
(27:00):
Find your stage early, learn itand then get your opportunity to
be on stage.
That's what I would tell anybody
Rachel Humphrey (27:07):
so important and that visibility really
matters and how he's seen andthe opportunities that it
provides.
That's incredible advice andsomething that I really hope
that I have passed on to ourdaughters as well.
Amy, as we wrap up and I knewthat we would run out of time,
we definitely won't get toeverything, but talk a little
bit about A final piece ofadvice you would want to leave
(27:27):
our listeners with.
It can be something we'vealready touched on that you want
to elaborate on.
It can be something we haven'ttalked about at all, but what is
one final thought keeping inmind our motto of empowering
personal success?
Amy Vaxman (27:39):
I think my final words, I would say, to make your
journey to be a testament toresilience, make it about
strategic growth and make itabout the power of mentorship.
Rachel Humphrey (27:53):
Oh, I love that.
Once again, if you enjoyed ourconversation with Amy today, my
conversation with Amy today, wehope you'll head over to its
personal stories.
com and hear from otherincredible hospitality industry
leaders who've likewise sharedtheir personal stories, their
journey, their insights.
And Amy, thank you so much forjoining me.
Thank you for sharing and thankyou for everything you do to
(28:14):
help lead the hospitalityindustry.
Amy Vaxman (28:17):
Thank you so much for having me today.
It was a great conversation and,I knew it would always love
talking to you.
Rachel Humphrey (28:23):
I will look forward to seeing you soon.
Amy Vaxman (28:25):
All right.
Thank you.
I am Rachel Humphrey with It's Personal
Stories, a hospitality podcast.
We are a non profit organizationdedicated to empowering personal
success within the hospitalityindustry.
I'm super excited to be joinedtoday by Amy Vaxman with QuestX.
Amy, welcome to the program.
Amy Vaxman (00:17):
Thank you.
I couldn't be happier to be heretoday.
Rachel Humphrey (00:21):
Everyone knows I love turning the tables on
people in the media andconference space who you
normally get to do all thequestioning and put everybody
else on the hot seat.
So excited to jump right in andtalk a little bit about your
path to leadership.
One of the things I love aboutthis industry is how unique it
can be.
And really, everybody's is verydifferent.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour journey and how you got to
(00:43):
where you are today.
Amy Vaxman (00:45):
Yeah, it's fun.
Going a long way back.
So in 1994, I joined what wascompany called advanced star.
I was hired back then to come inand run a group of trade
magazines in an insideorganization, inside sales
group.
And they had one of thosemagazines was hotel management.
(01:06):
So they, and back then thepublisher of the magazine was
Alex Dubar, who became a mentorfor me and a couple of years
down the road, he had asked mewhat I move over and into his
single work.
So I chose to go.
And that brought me into whatwas then the hotel industry.
And then fast forward, Quest Xwas a spinoff of advanced star.
(01:30):
And then Scott Pierce was hiredto come in and be the publisher
and yes, Scott Pierce.
Older brother of Keith Pierce,who is, we all know at Synesta,
so very small world, evensmaller world is their dad is
Walter Pierce, who at one pointwas publisher of lodging
(01:50):
hospitality.
So we all, get to meet eachother.
So then Scott was there for acouple of years and he then
talked me into becoming thesales director for hotel
management.
All the way back in probably1997, started my leadership
track in the hospitalityindustry and here we are today.
Rachel Humphrey (02:14):
It's amazing to think to again, touching on so
many topics of mentorship andrelationships.
I did not know your relationshipto the Pierce family.
So that's very interesting to meto hear as well, but going in
and starting.
At the one company, but beingthere almost 30 years now or
just over that, I think isreally incredible.
(02:34):
I want to pivot to somethingright off the bat that, is very
important to me right now.
Spending a lot of time talkingabout really the critical
importance of public speaking inour career path.
You as both a media person, butalso in the conference space
have a lot of opportunity tosource speakers, but also do a
(02:54):
lot of stuff.
So I'm curious your thoughts.
Are you comfortable as a publicspeaker, as a moderator, whether
it's to your team at aconference on an episode like
this, do you have preparetactics you use?
What are some of your thoughtson public speaking?
Amy Vaxman (03:12):
I would say, it's something, that I've grown into,
still not always comfortabledoing it.
That would be the one thing Iwould say to somebody coming
early into your career, take aclass, get a coach, learn it
early.
You're going to be doing itoften.
You're going to have to do it alot.
Whether it's look, I lovetalking to my team.
(03:33):
I love going out and presentingto, a group talking about our
products, talking about ourshows, do you love going in and
presenting your budget to yourCEO?
Yeah, not so much, and butthere's, you always need to be
prepared.
Last year I did IMC NYUconference.
I prepared for that for weeks.
I worked with we have aconference producer that does a
(03:55):
lot of our shows in the UK.
He was an awesome coach.
He gave me everything from, howto prep where to stand on stage,
how to work in, doing tongueexercises.
So you're not tripping over yourwords, how to work on your
script.
There's a lot of techniquesthat, you really need to hone in
(04:15):
on and that, to make yourselffeel comfortable.
But.
Even today, I wrote out all ofyour questions.
I made sure I had my, I thoughtabout my answers.
I wrote them down.
I think when you think you canjust do it off the cuff, that's
where you stumble.
One person I know who I BrianQuinn, if you ever, have a
chance, he is one of the bestprepared public speakers I know.
(04:40):
I've even told my son, all ofthem, he, every time I see him
go and speak, he's He preparesan entire binder of everything
he's going to talk about,whether it's going to a round
table, whether he's, talking ata conference, he does all of
that research ahead of time.
He's prepared.
He tells me.
goes in front of a mirror,talks, knows everything he's
(05:02):
going to say, what his keypoints are, so I would just tell
anybody practice, but startearly on in your career so that
you are so comfortable andyou'll have the opportunity,
more opportunities than to beout there doing it.
Rachel Humphrey (05:17):
I love the advice of practicing and
preparation and being thoughtfulin what you're going to say.
I actually interviewed Brian.
I've sourced Brian for us as aspeaker a lot but I've also
interviewed him for the podcastand he shared a lot of that
preparation and those strategieswith us, so I appreciate your
sharing that one of the thingsyou mentioned was, some of the
(05:37):
relationships that you've hadsince you first entered the
industry.
And I always like to tell peoplewhy I have asked someone to join
something that they, a waythey've impacted me that has
really helped my career along.
And one of those for me with youis actually.
building relationships andnetworking.
One of the things that I havelearned from you is that you
(05:59):
don't need the hour meeting orthe big phone call to have a
topic, but really, each time weare in the same place, we are
very intentional about justcatching a couple of minutes
together.
And I might ask how the kids aredoing or what college is looking
like.
Or what retirement might looklike, or we might be talking
about elevating women in theindustry or what's happening at
(06:20):
our jobs.
But it isn't a meeting wherewe're like, okay, let's get down
to business and do all thesethings.
And so by seeing you over what'snow been 10 plus years at
different things in theindustry.
we've been able to form a verygenuine relationship built on
just that enjoyment of seeingeach other.
And that has been a reallyimportant lesson for me to see
(06:44):
both the consistency of it, ofmaking sure we're on each
other's radar, because then whenI reach out and I ask you to
join me, hopefully you will sayyes and vice versa.
And so I really appreciate.
The way that you are veryintentional in being genuine in
your relationship building.
And that leads me to ask you,building a network is very
(07:04):
different from networking and weall build relationships in ways
that are very genuine to us.
Can you talk a little bit aboutthat side of your professional
life?
Amy Vaxman (07:16):
Yeah, and it's so funny.
That was one your list ofquestions.
I said, that was one of myfavorite questions you asked
because I think it's that haschanged so much over the years
of how I see it and how, peoplecoming into the industry see it
now.
There is networking.
And networking, is not how manypeople you add on to your
LinkedIn and go in and, justkeep checking off and, saying
(07:39):
that my network is now this big,networking is walking into
conferences and shows andmeeting people for the first
time, having a meaningfulconversation, shaking their
hand, asking questions abouttheir business and potentially
learning something personalabout them and then making that
decision going forward.
(08:01):
Are they going to become part ofyour network?
They may or may not.
They may just become, somebodythat you continue to network
with and you see them inconferences and you continue to
learn more about them, butyou'll go deeper into it.
And like you said, you'll thenbe built.
You're there will become part ofyour network because you'll know
(08:21):
a lot more about them.
You'll know when their daughtersor sons getting married and
you'll, and.
Your network builds from there,and I think you have to learn
the difference from that andgrow your network, there is, but
you still have to be able towalk into a room as coming into
this industry and be comfortablenetworking and learning how to
(08:42):
walk up and shake people's handand introduce yourself and know
their company and ask greatquestions.
So that, and be able to presentyourself.
And I think some of that hasgotten lost a little bit over
the, in our younger generationnot to sound old, but, just in
that younger generation and itmay be a little different on the
other side of COVID, I thinkit's, it's something I, as we
(09:06):
bring in younger employeescoming into it, I think it's,
and especially in the sales sideof it, I think it's something
they really need to learn.
So we, you and I would look andsay, we do have a a large
network of people But we stilldo, we still network and build
new people because we are alwayslooking for people to put on a
(09:26):
panel people, to bring into themagazine.
We want to have differentinterviews.
So there's you have to do a bitof both.
Rachel Humphrey (09:33):
I like the differentiation that you have
between networking and buildinga network.
I think that's a reallyinteresting way of framing it.
And the fact that you are goingin and looking for something in
common or something personalabout people.
I think it's something that youdo very well.
Amy Vaxman (09:50):
Thank you.
And one of what I'm hoping I'mnot jumping, but one of your
other questions, was talkingabout just, for a woman and this
is not necessarily a woman, butbuilding your kind of like board
of directors.
And that's, part of your,overall network too, because
it's, you build it on threelevels in my world.
I think you have your personalone, because as you start your
(10:13):
career and, you're starting, wetravel, we have a lot of travel.
So you've got to have yoursupport system that begins at
your home.
And that's, your husbandpartner.
And because you're going toleave and you think you have it
all put together in your plans.
But automatically, as soon asthat you're on that plane,
something falls apart andsomething wasn't left at school
(10:34):
or you left something at homeand before Instacart existed,
you're calling back to say, canyou FedEx me something or, and.
You're relying on more than justyour family, your, that network
you have around you, runs to theschool for you or runs to FedEx
and sends you something.
So you have to build thatfoundation for, to exist before
(10:55):
you even leave to travel.
And then you have, in your, Ifind in your work company, you
need to build a system.
of people outside your team.
Like you need that person infinance or operations and
different people that you'vebuilt a relationship with so
that you have a go to person inall of those areas that helps
(11:18):
you when you're traveling orwhen you're trying to get
something pushed through that ifyou've built a good relationship
with them.
They're going to help you sothat you're just not coming, you
just like we're talking about,them on a personal level, a
little bit about them.
You're not just coming to themall the time.
Just pushing something throughto them.
(11:39):
You've taken a little bit oftime to nurture that
relationship.
That's going to come and pay itforward down the road.
And then the 3rd piece of it is,Your network of people that you
go to for advice, you are one ofthem for me.
When I just need to know, I wantadvice on a subject that I feel
like I can, be, have aconfidant.
(12:00):
There's a few people in my closenetwork that I would ask a
question that I want advice on.
What are your thoughts on this?
And that's a smaller network,but I think you have to have
those three, really key piecesto move your career through and
you've got to keep them whereveryou go, job to job.
Rachel Humphrey (12:20):
That's a great way of having different systems
for different purposes.
Before overnight, Amazon, thecomputer charger is what I
always left at home and alwaysneeded FedEx to me.
The laptop.
Roger, for some reason, wasalways still plugged into the
world.
I agree more.
I've left it behind, many times.
(12:41):
Amy, you mentioned traveling alot.
And in this industry,particularly, there is a
tremendous amount of businesstravel.
And that can be one of the highpoints for a lot of people of
the industry.
But we all learn to manage itdifferently, whether that is
through self care, throughorganization and scheduling.
Some don't feel like they manageit very well.
How do you really tacklebusiness travel from a
(13:04):
preparation management self carestandpoint?
Amy Vaxman (13:08):
I think we try to get to the point where we
finally learn hopefully allthese years later not to
overpack would be our startingpoint.
But that's probably I think Istill fail at that one even
after all these years.
But I'll tell you one thing Ilearned.
Is really going into it muchmore prepared is, as we go into
these conferences is looking atthe list, but then I think the
(13:28):
one really big thing is notoverscheduling yourself when
you're going there, that issomething that, we used to go
look at it and be like, look atall the people that are going to
be there and you try to scheduleyourself every minute of what,
of the time that you're thereand then what you end up finding
is You miss the opportunities tomeet people as they're, as
(13:52):
you're passing them in thehallway and have that five
minutes of somebody you reallywanted to see and it didn't fit
in your schedule anymore, orthey're saying, Oh, I could talk
to you, but you're like, Oh no,I have to be somewhere.
Or when somebody calls you asyou're passing and they're
sitting together with a greatgroup of women and you want to
sit down and talk to those fivepeople and you can't because you
(14:13):
have somewhere.
Use your time.
But give yourself some downtimefor those great meetings that
you're going to be able to haveor 20 minutes to sit down and
get rid of, 20 emails out ofyour inbox so that when you come
back, you're not looking at,300.
You learn, I think a bit thatyou need to manage your time a
little better and not.
(14:35):
Just overschedule yourself sothat you can keep up with the
travel because, it's an, it'spart of our business.
So we're going to be, it's notgoing to go away and that's not
going to be, so we just have tomanage it.
And, now, you have to use theplane time where we used to, it
used to be nice when we couldread a book on the plane, but I
think I've gotten, I've.
(14:56):
Now got a little smarter that itis a good time to, go through
your email and land with a muchcleaner inbox.
Rachel Humphrey (15:04):
I love that the topic of not overscheduling.
I think that's something a lotof us do is trying to maximize.
You miss that trip by reallytrying to fit in everything and
you're right, you do miss someof those most important
interactions by not having anopportunity to just be present.
(15:24):
You and I have talked a lot overthe years about Our kids in the
stages of their lives in thestages of our lives.
And as you mentioned, you travela lot, but you also have a very
demanding work schedule.
You are not a nine to five orwhen you are not traveling, talk
a little bit about, I don'tbelieve that we manage our work
life or balance our work life,but whether you can find harmony
(15:46):
in your work life.
And what are some of thoselessons you've learned over the
years, maybe doing itdifferently today than you did.
Earlier in your career.
Amy Vaxman (15:58):
Oh, I would say, if we're looking at a work life
balance I would probably tellyou, I did it better younger.
And I think it's the nature of,when our children are younger,
you're forced to balance it alittle bit more because they're
there and you're, you want to bepresent and, you don't have a
(16:18):
choice as much as we grow olderand they're gone.
And my husband would be the 1stto tell you that, I'm not as
good at doing it any longer,but, but I'd love to take the
opportunity that away from it.
You kno and I get on a plane andnow to just not look at m time
(16:41):
we're going, you kno Year or soago, and I looked for a couple
days and then I just decidedshutting the laptop off and I'm
going to just not look andwhatever I come back to if it's,
700 emails at 700 emails becauseI think you just have to take
some time and really disconnectand It is all going to be there
(17:03):
when you get back and, part ofbeing a good leader, I really
think is if you don't letsomebody else take the reins and
work it through and know thatthey can do it and make the
decision when you're gone, thenyou really haven't taught
anybody anything.
It's letting go a bit to know,if you, if it's not going to
(17:23):
fall apart while you're gone.
So
Rachel Humphrey (17:26):
that's an important leadership piece of
advice, too, of being willingto.
I think you and I tend to besimilar in the fact of wanting
to make sure that everything isdone and done at a high level
and timely and all of thesethings.
And so letting that go is veryhard for us.
I find it fascinating that yousay that you were better at it
(17:47):
when you were maybe needed moreor forced to be present more.
And I think the blessing and thecurse of technology is you can
work anywhere, but the curse isyou can work anywhere.
So being really intentional andshutting down during those times
of Disconnecting or rejuvenatingyourself or whatever it is can
(18:07):
be really important.
You were just talking about aform of leadership on your team.
One of the things that we hear alot is how difficult, especially
as women, but it can apply toothers to really advocate for
ourselves.
If you had, someone on your teamor someone who came to you as a
mentor and said, Hey, this is aplace where I am not as
(18:29):
successful right now as I'd liketo be.
What advice would you give onadvocating for themselves for
whatever it is, a promotion, anew role, a responsibility a job
with you that they're interestedin?
What is the best way of reallyfinding that inner advocate?
Amy Vaxman (18:46):
I think I think a couple of things, I think, As
we've been talking about justbuilding relationships, I think
one of those things is that selfadvocacy in itself is building
strong relationships.
But, one thing I would tellpeople is you really, own your
own wins.
So every, you want, you're partof a team.
Everything you do doesn't haveto be, we got this deal done.
(19:09):
If you did it, say, I led thestrategy.
Everything doesn't have to bewe, and I would also tell
somebody, speak up on your bigmoments.
Don't wait till you're at youryearly review to highlight
things that you've done, speakup for yourself.
If you had a great win, say itduring the time of the year when
it's happening and claim it,tell it, put it in there and I
(19:34):
keep a bulletin board ofeverything you do, or not
bullet, note for yourself sothat when you're talking to your
manager, tell them about yourbig wins.
So that you're always keepingthat in their forefront and top
of mind,
Rachel Humphrey (19:48):
celebrating ourselves is hard and it's, I
think it goes against the naturefor so many of us were very
quick to be hard on ourself withour not wins, but very difficult
to celebrate.
So I really like that of owningyour own wins and that.
While we are a team and there isa we, there's a right time to
also be an I.
I think that's really important.
(20:09):
Amy, as leaders, not everythinggoes our way all of the time
that we want it to.
And sometimes part of leadershipmeans facing a challenge head on
or overcoming a setback orsomething that didn't go how we
wanted it to.
Do you have a strategy that youimplement when you are faced
with a setback or maybe somesort of obstacle that's not
(20:31):
going your way?
Amy Vaxman (20:34):
I think, yeah, for me, that's another time I use
some of my network.
I think you have to go and, goto some of your mentors some of
your teammates and look to say,as a group, find some
strategies, how would you handlethis situation?
Because some of it, you can justhit a roadblock that you can't.
(20:57):
see a way around.
So that's when it's an outsideperspective is probably the best
way to find, find a way around.
It's not necessarily inside yourcompany.
That's what a good mentor canhelp you find outside and using
your network.
I think is one of the best waysto use is the best time to use
(21:19):
your network.
Rachel Humphrey (21:20):
And that goes back again to why it's so
important to really developthose relationships.
So when you need that support,or you need that type of
recommendations or suggestionsor strategy.
As you mentioned that you have agroup there that is more than
willing to jump in and talk youthrough it.
The other thing as leaders isthat it changes over time.
(21:41):
So who we were as a leader maybe20 years ago is very different
than who we might be as a leadertoday.
When you think back over in theindustry and interestingly, all
with some version of the samecompany.
What does Amy say has gottenbetter over time?
And other than maybe your worklife balance, is there something
(22:02):
that you think has gotten worseover time?
Amy Vaxman (22:07):
Yeah, I think your, the ability to make, strategic
decision making, risk, takerisk, those things have gotten
better.
As you're developed and, knowthe industry, know yourself,
know your market, that becomesmuch easier.
Just with, experience.
What becomes as we were justtalking about what becomes
(22:28):
harder and technology to your,you know what we just said all
of the technology that has comeinto has developed in all of
these years.
There's forecasting tools there,sales force.
All of the things that have thatweren't there when we first
started have made those kind ofthings so much easier for us to
do to work from, people.
A distance, be able to, getthings that we could not, you
(22:52):
know, we, you couldn't even, somany things were manual.
You couldn't even have a lot ofthe forecasting tools that we
can have or, be able to getcustomer insight that we, that,
you have now to be able to lookat.
But one of the things that doesget harder is just what we said
earlier.
We, we were involved in everydecision and, as you launch new
products or launching thehospitality show, that you want
(23:15):
to be involved in every step ofit because you're so afraid to
step away.
And that, if is something goingto not happen if I'm not
involved in the trenches of it?
And that's, that's where itbecomes that, you, You can't be
involved in everything or youare never going to have the work
life balance because, and I saythat to Alexi all the time
(23:38):
because, he falls prey into thesame thing and that just
trickles down, he, we, we havetoo many chefs in the kitchen
because, he's involved.
I'm involved.
And then, we both, we don't allneed to be involved in every
piece of it.
So I think that's the really thehardest part in, it.
That, I can't, we all can't getaway from and to just, turn it
over.
But, I think we've all gotten somuch better with everything, all
(24:01):
the tools that we have and justknowing that we know how to make
better decisions.
Rachel Humphrey (24:05):
Yeah, I can definitely relate to that one.
One of the things that was noton our radar when you and I
first entered the career forcewas this idea of personal
branding or having a mantra or asaying or something by which is
your guiding star.
Do you have something that youreally feel like?
Day in and day out, is yourguide or the words that you live
(24:29):
by, or something that reallyhelps you become both the leader
and the human that you want tobe.
Yeah.
Amy Vaxman (24:38):
You know what I have?
I do.
There's, I think I approachthings in a different way.
So I, I.
I'm rooted more now in like acuriosity and in a persistence
and like in a willingness justto adapt find it my own personal
brand is just in, in thecompany, in my work life is all
(24:59):
about strategic growth.
That's what I want to do.
My own personal tagline, I thinkit's just to be.
Driven by passion but guided bywisdom.
That's how I want to wake upevery day and.
That's, live my life that way atthis point, I think that's how I
just look at everything now,many years into it.
Rachel Humphrey (25:23):
Driven by passion, guided by wisdom.
I like that very much.
One of the things you just saidat this stage of your life, and
one of the things that I reallylove is the power of reflection
and looking back as we continueto evolve as people.
As you look back at 21 year oldAmy.
What would you tell yourself?
(25:44):
Either something you wish youknew then that you've learned
along the way or maybe about howthings turn out for you.
Amy Vaxman (25:52):
One of the questions, things that we talked
about earlier, I said, if I,what I know now, I would tell
myself right now, in college, Iwould have taken more public
speaking classes, but out ofcollege, I would have gotten,
more involved in a publicspeaking class, classes,
coaching, the kind of thing ithas something that I really
(26:14):
pushed on all of our children tomake sure that they've gotten
that opportunity and have foundnow.
I can look to say each one ofthem have found their space and
have in their companies, or someform, have all gotten up on
stage, presented something, donesomething, all by the time
they've been, our oldest one isjust turned 33.
(26:36):
And in fact, we saw him over theweekend and, he had just, they
just did a big company outing.
And he was like, he was up therepresenting to the whole company.
His presentation to their, andhe said his CEO came up and was
so excited about how well he haddone.
And I said, that was a huge winbecause it was passing that
information, that on to them.
You need to be able to be agreat public speaker because.
(27:00):
Find your stage early, learn itand then get your opportunity to
be on stage.
That's what I would tell anybody
Rachel Humphrey (27:07):
so important and that visibility really
matters and how he's seen andthe opportunities that it
provides.
That's incredible advice andsomething that I really hope
that I have passed on to ourdaughters as well.
Amy, as we wrap up and I knewthat we would run out of time,
we definitely won't get toeverything, but talk a little
bit about A final piece ofadvice you would want to leave
(27:27):
our listeners with.
It can be something we'vealready touched on that you want
to elaborate on.
It can be something we haven'ttalked about at all, but what is
one final thought keeping inmind our motto of empowering
personal success?
Amy Vaxman (27:39):
I think my final words, I would say, to make your
journey to be a testament toresilience, make it about
strategic growth and make itabout the power of mentorship.
Rachel Humphrey (27:53):
Oh, I love that.
Once again, if you enjoyed ourconversation with Amy today, my
conversation with Amy today, wehope you'll head over to its
personal stories.
com and hear from otherincredible hospitality industry
leaders who've likewise sharedtheir personal stories, their
journey, their insights.
And Amy, thank you so much forjoining me.
Thank you for sharing and thankyou for everything you do to
(28:14):
help lead the hospitalityindustry.
Amy Vaxman (28:17):
Thank you so much for having me today.
It was a great conversation and,I knew it would always love
talking to you.
Rachel Humphrey (28:23):
I will look forward to seeing you soon.
Amy Vaxman (28:25):
All right.
Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!