December 13, 2025 • 31 mins
Miriam describes a career shaped by mentorship and an unwavering commitment to service. A turning point came when a mentor immersed her in global luxury hotels, teaching her excellence through real-world experience. That exposure opened doors, built credibility, and reinforced the value of learning by doing. She emphasizes that mentorship is not only about guidance, but about access, trust, and being invited into opportunities that accelerate growth.
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Lan Elliott (00:03):
Hello and welcome to its Personal Stories.
My name is Lan Elliot on behalfof its personal Stories, which
is a not-for-profit dedicated toempowering personal success in
the hospitality industry.
And today our guest advisor ismy wonderful friend, Miriam
Torres, who is the co-owner ofParker Torres.
(00:25):
Design Inc.
And if you don't know Miriam orParker Torres, they have worked
on some of the most iconicdesigns and hotels around the
world.
And if you're not familiar withthem, I hope you'll go on our
website and learn more aboutMiriam and Parker Torres.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
So welcome, Miriam Lynn.
Thank you for having me over.
I'm so excited to have this chatwith you today.
Lan Elliott (00:50):
I've been looking forward to this.
Miriam, I know a little bitabout your journey, but I know
you have had an amazing careerand you co-founded Parker Torres
in 2004, which was a big deal togo out on your own.
I'm curious if you could sharesome of the inflection points in
your successful career, and whatdo you think is the factor or
(01:14):
factors behind your personalsuccess?
Miriam Torres (01:18):
Number one, I think about 20 years ago my
career had a really big turningpoint.
I had the opportunity to workfor very successful.
Developer in Turkey, very highnet worth individual who want me
to learn more about the industryin a different perspective.
(01:41):
And he was really the biggestmentor anybody can ask for.
He took me around the world.
To show me what excellence andluxury it will be, and he took
me to all the best hotels in theworld.
But more importantly, he openedso many doors.
He also took the time to teachme and let me experience the
(02:06):
business.
He actually.
Introduced me to deals,introduced me to people that I
never think I could meet.
He really changed my career andI think people don't realize the
importance of mentorship.
It wasn't just only learningfrom him, it was also all the
(02:28):
doors he opened and all thepeople he introduced me to.
Honestly, it was such.
Changed.
It was almost like a masterdegree to me.
It was better than a collegemaster degree because we can
experience it day to day.
It wasn't just learning by abook.
So I think working for thisindividual abroad in these very
(02:52):
over the top properties changedmy career.
Give me the opportunity to getpark to rest in the luxury
industry, especially.
Lan Elliott (03:03):
Yeah, that's incredible because I know people
who've worked in luxury, theysay you can't work on a luxury
project, whether you're anemployee or a designer or what
have you, until you've doneluxury.
Which begs the question, how doyou get that first luxury?
That was it.
Miriam Torres (03:17):
That was it.
I actually work on the Wal ofAstoria before I work with him.
When he interview me and I showhim my project.
He closed the portfolio saying,now I'm gonna tell take you
around the world.
You're gonna stay at the Reds inParis and the SBO in London and
place in Paris.
And when you learn and youstudy, you can also experience
(03:40):
it.
And that gave me theopportunity, then come to the
country, come back to UnitedStates and be approved by all
the major luxury brands.
So I will say that was thebiggest.
Opportunity or change in mycareer for the better that
really changed our business.
(04:02):
I think also one of our biggestfactors, success, especially me
is not only the experience, butI don't think people realize how
hard work is so important.
I know it sounds like a simpleword, hard work, but I think
hard work and perseverance isprobably what made us so
(04:25):
successful.
I don't give up easily sometimeit's not good, but most of the
time has been.
Plus, I work harder thananybody.
I always wanna be the hardestworking, and I think people in
the industry don't understand.
How service is so important.
(04:46):
I think people take it bygranted.
It is not just about doing abeautiful design, but it's how
to, the power of service to ourclient is immensely just
replying to an email right awayor answering the call.
Or just having a conversation.
People underestimate the powerof a conversation with a client.
(05:09):
The more you talk to them, thenyou're gonna bring these.
Trust between each other.
And I think that has been a bigpart of our business model.
Work hard, be very connected tothe client, especially very
available and always servicingthem that the communication has
(05:31):
been so important to us.
I think sometime we are afraidto get back.
To a call, think it's a problem,or we're too busy.
I think the most important thingis service and communication, at
least for us.
Lan Elliott (05:49):
I love that.
And Parker Torres, when youstarted that business over 20
years ago.
Was that how you thought this ishow we're going to run our
business, or has it evolved overtime?
Because you are so clientfocused and having those
conversations and.
Miriam Torres (06:10):
No, I think when we started, I was afraid
sometime I remember I have avery good story.
I work on the WillerIntercontinental in DC and I
worked for Oliver Carr, big timedeveloper.
And then they asked me to do thewharf intercontinental.
And it was very hard for him tounderstand, to go from a very
(06:31):
historic hotel to a contemporarynew build and.
It was a struggle when it wasfinished and he went there.
He gave me a call.
I didn't return the call forthree days.
This is one of my learninglesson.
I was petrified because Ithought he will never understand
(06:52):
what we were doing.
It was the right fit for thelocation on that property, and
it is just not the willer.
And why should he have twoproperties that are the same?
It's a very different, a verydifferent property and it was a
very modern new build, and Ifinally got the guts to call
him, and it was the completeopposite.
(07:14):
He's you hit the nail on thehead.
That's how you say in English,right?
Yes.
And I couldn't believe it.
I was like shocked.
After that experience.
I'm like, Miriam, you should notbe afraid.
It is not, they're not alwayscalling you because there's a
problem.
They do call you also whenthings go well, and I just
learned that just answer thecall.
(07:37):
Also, I think if you don'tanswer, if there's a problem,
time just makes it worse.
The sooner you can addressanything, the better you of you
are.
That took a long time for me tolearn.
That comes from experience,right?
So no, this all has beenevolved.
Every day I learn something.
Lan Elliott (07:58):
But you have a lot of clients that work with you
again and again.
The cars are a good example ofthat.
Host is another great examplethat works on a lot of projects
with you, and I think that's areflection of how you work with
your clients and thatrelationship building that you
do.
Miriam Torres (08:18):
I believe that.
As a design firm or any firmdoesn't make any sense to be out
there constantly looking for newclients.
One thing we have focused on,and this is from the beginning,
if you do a good job, they giveyou another job the next year
and the next year, and andunderstand how they work.
(08:42):
And what are the importantthings to them?
It makes our job so much easierthat every time with a new
client to understand how theywant the process and how they
work.
And I see this often people outthere searching and searching
for new clients better justcultivate what you have.
Do a really good job with themand the business.
(09:02):
Just keep rolling.
And I will say most of ourclients, if we don't one hotel,
it's because they only own onehotel, but we always do multiple
hotels.
I always love to send my clientlist to people because they
long, and we do it by clientpurpose, not by brand.
Lan Elliott (09:21):
I love that.
I love that.
And the focus on your clientsand really getting to know them
and getting to know them overtime.
Yeah.
I wanted to flip to the otherside of running a business, and
that is your teams, because abig part of leadership and
building of businesses aroundhow do you develop high
(09:42):
performing teams and in additionto your teams being very
talented.
The people at Parker Torres tendto stay for a long time, which
is unusual in this day and age.
And I've heard your team evencalled you Mama Bear.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yes.
So
Lan Elliott (09:59):
what is it about your leadership style that
resonates with your teammembers?
Miriam Torres (10:05):
I can't believe you heard that.
I do.
I'm very protective of everybodyin my team.
It is like a family.
Barbara and I have extremelyfortunate that everybody in our
team has been 10, 15 years.
And if somebody's new becausethey just started, but
everybody's been there forever.
I've been told by people inLinkedIn that they see it, they
(10:26):
go to people's name and see howlong they've been with us.
It was very important to me fromthe beginning.
To treat people, obviously withrespect and the norm, and like
it was never about us, likereally being a money making
machine.
Just being in a place wherepeople love what they do,
(10:47):
especially in our business.
But also I just think at onepoint.
In my business, I recognizedthat I needed to let go, that
they were experiencing enough,that they were talented enough
that they've been with me longenough that they know.
As much as I do or more, and Ialways felt like you at some
(11:13):
point need to let go and letthem excel and execute their job
and not be micromanaging.
Of course I can do this becausethey've been with me for that
long.
Maybe 14 years ago, I was havingdinner with Alan Benjamin from
Benjamin West after the modelroom of the Fairmont Copley.
(11:34):
And I never forget this, he toldme, which is another interesting
thing, he said, just hire peoplesmarter and more talented.
Thank you.
And I never forgot that.
Never forgotten that.
So another part of.
What I do with my team is givethe credit when it is the person
(11:55):
who did the project.
So we often finish a project orfinish a presentation.
And the client goes, Miriam,because I'm always the boys and
the one in the center, right?
Just my personality.
I'm just drama.
But I always look and say no.
I didn't design this.
And I always give the credit.
(12:17):
So the person or the team, therecould be four of them that work
so hard, and I've done this foryears.
I never take the credit.
I'm not the one designing everyitem in the project.
And I, you'll realize how muchthese people appreciate that the
(12:37):
client gets to see andunderstand who really was
behind.
The product that they got.
So I think that has been veryimportant, letting them go and
do their thing and notmicromanage them.
And also give the credit whereit is worth the people that
actually did the work.
It's not, it's all about me,many things, but in that one I'm
(13:00):
okay to give it, give up alittle bit.
Lan Elliott (13:04):
I love that.
I know one of yournon-negotiable is your wine at
five o'clock, so Yeah.
And for our audience, we arerecording it at five o'clock, so
I made sure she had a glasses ofwine.
I
Miriam Torres (13:13):
have a roset though, so it's funny because if
I wanna work late, when I usedto be in the office the person.
Said at the front will bring mealways a glass of champagne and
potato chip so I could staylater.
'cause that's what kept methere.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
But I can't believe you.
It's a small price
Lan Elliott (13:31):
to pay if your boss like really recognizes your work
and, and talks about it with theclients and showcases your
talent, and if your boss isn'tall over, you micromanaging you.
So I think it's a small price topay to, to bring you a glass of
wine.
Yeah.
At the end of the day, they,them feel
Miriam Torres (13:50):
empower in their job.
It's important.
Lan Elliott (13:52):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I think people wanna do a goodjob and that's the first
instinct.
I wanted to switch over to thisidea of.
Perfect versus effective becausethe pursuit of perfection is
something that can hold peopleback.
And I know I see a lot of womenpush themselves on their work to
(14:16):
make it perfect.
And maybe sometimes it would bebetter to focus on making sure
what you did was effective, butrather than good point, rather
than spending all that time onperfection, you could spend more
time returning phone calls,developing relationships, really
listening to the people you'reworking with and taking the time
to be with people rather thansitting at your desk making your
(14:37):
work.
Perfect.
And this perfection thing canalso make someone a difficult
boss to work with.
And we've talked about ourpersonal journeys with
perfection, but how do you thinkabout this now?
How does it impact how you leadyour team?
Miriam Torres (14:54):
I can't believe you brought this up.
It is something that I neverreally thought about it, but.
In depth.
But looking back, I haveevolved.
My relationship with perfectionhas definitely evolved.
I always wanted to be aperfectionist.
It is a big problem, actually.
(15:16):
It is.
Many times actually holds youback and you're stuck.
I think in our industry.
You can, it never ends, right?
So you need to set your setlimits and understand that.
Sometime there's not such thingsas perfect and you have to teach
(15:40):
yourself in your head when it'stime to stop because sometime
you actually don't get the bestbenefit of it.
It can take you to a negativespace.
So I think for me, I have triedto change and think.
Not so much about perfection,but in my head about how I could
(16:03):
be more embraced to be a littlebit excellent, but not to be to
a point that it holds you backto, to find, I guess you stuck
in a process.
You actually get stuck in aprocess and you need to be able.
To move on and finalize it.
(16:24):
And by perfection, you'reholding your team back.
It's not only you, it becomes abigger problem.
And I tell you at the beginningthat I had that problem, and
it's often in my head becausesometime I step back and I say,
it's fantastic, I can work onthis forever.
It's like kinda sculpture,right?
You are gonna do a sculpture andyou can be working on it for the
(16:47):
rest of your life, and at somepoint you have to realize.
It needs to stop.
I don't think I have completelyperfection, getting rid of
perfection.
Does that make sense?
I haven't been able to do it,but I try every day.
I try.
Lan Elliott (17:06):
I do think also in what you do, it's one thing to
work on a spreadsheet and go,okay, I think I got all the
information I need in there, andI think I have the right
conclusion.
What you do is so artistic withdesign and how do you know when
you're done?
How do you know when you say,okay, this is where we need to
(17:27):
stop.
How do you tell your teams thisis a good place to stop?
Miriam Torres (17:32):
I think sometime is the action we're gonna do
this.
And it is from here to here, andwe have from this date to this
date and list, dual list.
These are the actions and thegoals we need.
And when we get here, we stop.
If our DD presentation in acertain date obviously there's
something really wrong.
(17:52):
I'm not gonna stop.
I will stay up all night.
But at some point you I get verypersonal with my job.
And I think at some point youneed to let it go.
These are not my homes.
I wanna give them the best,what, in 10 years somebody's
gonna redo it.
That's what I learned
Speaker 2 (18:12):
too.
Lan Elliott (18:13):
So I That is a great perspective.
As a designer, you can make itlike a piece of art, but in 10
years someone's gonna rip it allout and start over again with a
new guest room, right?
So it's just
Miriam Torres (18:23):
get your plan and go into action and give yourself
those boundaries.
It's easy for me to tell youthis right now.
If you asked me this 20 yearsago, I'd be like,
Speaker 2 (18:33):
oh, it has to be perfect,
Miriam Torres (18:36):
right?
As you develop and you mature,things change as how you run
your business,
Lan Elliott (18:44):
and what you do isn't just making the most
beautiful thing, right?
You're also working within abudget for your client within a
timeline, and you have to hitcertain dates.
If you.
Miss the window.
They can't renovate their hotelduring low season, so you don't
always have the luxury to keepmoving your dates back.
Miriam Torres (19:04):
Our clients are more, they're more concerned
about my budget and my schedulethan the design, my clientele,
because a lot of them are.
And so that our first thing whenwe meet is that what is the
budget and what is the schedule?
It's never, it's what is itgonna look like?
So I think we never missdeadlines.
(19:29):
We always produce very strongset of specifications syndrome.
And I do, I will say we're knownfor very good documentation.
You can have a beautiful space,but if the client was so over
budget and it took them doublethe time to get there, they
won't hire you again.
So I think people don'tunderstand how important
(19:51):
documentation is.
And I think I will say that's mybusiness partner.
Barbara was the one who startedthat in our office.
We were very different.
We the yin and yang, and theycreated dramatic.
Crazy Puerto Rican, and she'slike the very, I'm the hurricane
(20:15):
of the team and she's a verystable balance.
Cool.
As a cucumber.
And she just runs, she keeps themachine running.
And she kept the schedules andthe budget.
So I think.
One thing that has been reallygood for us is that we have
(20:37):
both.
It's really hard as a creativeperson to have that side of the
brain.
She's the engineer, I'm theartist, and I think if I didn't
have her.
We would never be as successful.
It is, it's an incrediblebalance.
And we were very lucky how weended up being together to, and
(20:58):
the clients do say that to us.
You have a very good balance.
So I always tell people,partnerships are so important,
make or break business.
Lan Elliott (21:08):
And I think finding a partner that can balance the
things, that maybe you're morethis and they're more that.
And then it ends up being agreat balance.
Yes.
I wanted to talk about impostersyndrome.
This is something that I think alot of us deal with, the critic
in your head where that noisemakes us doubt ourselves and our
(21:31):
skills makes us feel like we'reimposters or like we don't
belong in the room.
Have you handled impostersyndrome?
How?
How do you Big time.
How do you do that?
Big time?
Miriam Torres (21:43):
I experienced that, especially when you step
into a new responsibility.
A new project and you're in abig room full of gentleman and
all these people, I've alwaysquestioned myself and I give the
presentation and either we getthe job because we're
interviewing or we give apresentation, we present in a
(22:06):
new project and either we getthe job or they say.
It is beautiful and I walked outand the first thing I will tell
somebody, like my partner's,like I faked it.
You know what I mean?
I faked it for years, but Iactually read a book that really
helped me and have perspective.
(22:26):
On this it's called Leaning Inby Shirley sandberg.
Cheryl Sandberg, yes.
Yes.
And it, I read this like a long,when it came out a long time
ago, but one of the chaptertalked about this and I didn't
realize had the syndrome.
It was when I read it, I'm like,oh my God, I have that.
(22:47):
And what I learned from her is Iwould not be there and done so
well.
Without my experience, withoutmy expertise, and I am valid to
be in that situation, but I haveto remind myself with that.
I'm like, I'm here because Ihave the experience.
I have the validation.
(23:07):
They would've never call me.
But I don't know, I don't knowif it's the woman thing, but I
will be in rooms and I, everytime I finish, I'm like, I faked
it.
But I, now looking back, I did.
It is just a very interestingthing.
But that book really helped me.
It really did.
Lan Elliott (23:25):
And so you don't think that anymore.
You walk in and you go, I knowwhat I'm talking about now.
I
Miriam Torres (23:29):
walked in.
Yeah.
Now I walked in.
I know more than you do.
Lan Elliott (23:34):
I love how that book helped you conquer that
feeling of faith in it.
It was the fear.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
It gives me because you were doing
Lan Elliott (23:41):
pitches all the time, right?
You're walking into a room withyour design and I think.
Pitching a design is sovulnerable compared to,
negotiating a number.
Exactly.
A design is so much more areflection of you and it's so
Miriam Torres (23:57):
objective, right?
Lan Elliott (23:59):
Yeah.
So
Miriam Torres (24:00):
objective.
But that book gave me thestrength and the confide.
It was like a chapter in thebook, but I, and I didn't even
know I had the syndrome.
Now I'm like, oh my God, I dothat every time.
Isn't it interesting that youthought of that to ask me that?
I love that.
Lan Elliott (24:18):
I'm glad that book was so helpful, and so our
audience who might be strugglingwith it can go find Cheryl
Sandberg's, lean in and check itout as well.
Miriam, I have a question.
That is one of my favoritequestions that we ask all our
guest advisors, and that is whatadvice would you give to your
(24:39):
younger self, or what would youtell 22-year-old Miriam?
What would you want her to know?
Miriam Torres (24:44):
I think to me, how to solve problems.
I think my biggest challengewhen I was young, because I was
actually doing everything, thespecification and the design.
I found when a problem came, itwas like the whole project was
gonna fall apart and my I wasgonna be fired.
(25:05):
And when you're young, you don'tunderstand that actually, what
I've learned from my client isthat they respect you so much
when a problem comes and you hitit right away and can come up
with a solution.
It is actually turned some timeinto a positive because they
like, you know what, we can workwith her because she fixed it.
(25:28):
You know what I mean?
And there will always beproblem, but the more important
thing is.
To be able to, how to address itquickly, not costing them time
or money, but I didn't thinkabout that took a long time.
And that came just really withexperience.
I used to have fall apart, likecrumble.
And now I just go, okay, what Ihave to do, how fast, what is
(25:51):
the solution?
So I think that was one of thehardest thing for me when I was
young, how to deal with problemand solving them.
What I learned that I've turnedit into a positive because
clients now always think I cancount on her to get it figured
out.
So I don't know if this issomething that people will
(26:13):
embrace, but it was reallysomething that used to.
Freak me out because that comefrom perfection, right?
Lan Elliott (26:22):
Yeah.
It comes from working so hard tomake sure it's perfect, that you
don't know what to do when it'snot perfect.
And one of the things that tookme a long time to learn is it's
not necessarily whether you'regonna run into adversity because
everyone runs into adversity oneway or another.
You're not judged on whether ornot there's adversity.
You're judged by how you respondto it and how you react to it.
(26:47):
And I think finding a way tosolve problems when they come
up.
You can't always avoid everyproblem out there, but finding a
way to resolve it and knowingthat you're a problem solver is
such a great skill for theclient.
Miriam Torres (27:03):
It is a positive skill.
It is.
So turn something negative intoa positive.
But when I was young, I didn'tthink that way.
I thought the world was gonnaend.
Lan Elliott (27:14):
The world didn't end.
You just got better at dealingwith handling and overcoming
obstacles.
Miriam, we are coming to the endof our conversation.
This
Speaker 2 (27:23):
was fast.
Lan Elliott (27:25):
It was fun.
I've got one more question foryou because you shared so much
great advice already.
Based on your journey and whatyou've learned along the way, do
you have one final nugget ofadvice for our audience who are
looking to advance theircareers?
What would you share with'em?
Miriam Torres (27:45):
I have a bunch of things, but I think one that is
very different and unique that Ibe become very good at, and I
think people don't think aboutit, is how to connect people.
How to connect people byconnecting people.
I have gotten a lot of clientsby making personal connections.
(28:09):
By connecting other people havecome to me.
I don't think people realize.
Don't stay in your office.
Don't stay in your home,especially in these days.
I'm always out there connectingwith people.
It's incredible when I'm talkingto somebody that they might have
(28:30):
a project or their friends havea project, or I'm introducing
you to a friend and then we findout they have a hotel.
The power of connecting withpeople versus only being working
from home and especially withthe young generation.
I think is lacking and it'ssomething that I think it's not
(28:50):
just about working, right?
That's what I'm saying.
It's the connection because allthese people working eventually
will wanna bring business to thecompany.
So if you don't meet people andyou don't have all these
connections in the industry, asyou move up the ladder, that's
what you actually need the most.
(29:11):
To be connected to all thepeople in the industry.
And I don't know how these younggeneration think that they're
gonna connect.
I think you need to be outthere.
So I say this to the younggeneration.
Get out of the house, get out ofyour shell and try to connect.
And the more people you meetevery day, give yourself a goal.
(29:33):
How many people you gonna meetthis week?
It will advance your career.
I'm not talking about knowledge,I'm not talking only about work
is connecting and meetingpeople.
And in all type of the part ofthe industry.
It could be the banker, it couldbe the developer, it could be it
(29:54):
just the contractor or thelighting representative E.
Everybody's connected.
It's a big web and you need tobe out there connecting with
people that to me is something Iwould like to give to the young
generation.
Lan Elliott (30:10):
I love that.
Don't stay in your office makingyour work perfect.
Yes, make sure it's effectiveand it's great, but then take
your time to go out and spendtime with people and get to know
people.
And I love the part ofconnecting people.
When you meet someone, you go,oh, you really need to know this
person.
And you can connect tolike-minded people.
I think that's a reallyvaluable, you can get so much
(30:31):
business by connecting withpeople
Miriam Torres (30:34):
or mentorship too.
Absolutely.
Lan Elliott (30:38):
Absolutely.
Thank you Miriam.
So appreciate you coming on ourshow and sharing your wisdom and
experience.
I really appreciate you and allyou do to help others in the
industry, which I know you do alot of, so thank you very much.
Miriam Torres (30:55):
I'm honored that you asked me and it was a
pleasure.
Let's do it again.
Lan Elliott (31:02):
We can always have a glass of wine.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
That's all right.
That's perfect.
Lan Elliott (31:07):
Okay, and for the audience, if you've enjoyed this
interview with Miriam, I hopeyou'll go to our website, it's
personal stories.com, where youcan find more interviews with
hospitality industry leaders.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Thank you, Ann.
Talk to you soon.
Hello and welcome to its Personal Stories.
My name is Lan Elliot on behalfof its personal Stories, which
is a not-for-profit dedicated toempowering personal success in
the hospitality industry.
And today our guest advisor ismy wonderful friend, Miriam
Torres, who is the co-owner ofParker Torres.
(00:25):
Design Inc.
And if you don't know Miriam orParker Torres, they have worked
on some of the most iconicdesigns and hotels around the
world.
And if you're not familiar withthem, I hope you'll go on our
website and learn more aboutMiriam and Parker Torres.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
So welcome, Miriam Lynn.
Thank you for having me over.
I'm so excited to have this chatwith you today.
Lan Elliott (00:50):
I've been looking forward to this.
Miriam, I know a little bitabout your journey, but I know
you have had an amazing careerand you co-founded Parker Torres
in 2004, which was a big deal togo out on your own.
I'm curious if you could sharesome of the inflection points in
your successful career, and whatdo you think is the factor or
(01:14):
factors behind your personalsuccess?
Miriam Torres (01:18):
Number one, I think about 20 years ago my
career had a really big turningpoint.
I had the opportunity to workfor very successful.
Developer in Turkey, very highnet worth individual who want me
to learn more about the industryin a different perspective.
(01:41):
And he was really the biggestmentor anybody can ask for.
He took me around the world.
To show me what excellence andluxury it will be, and he took
me to all the best hotels in theworld.
But more importantly, he openedso many doors.
He also took the time to teachme and let me experience the
(02:06):
business.
He actually.
Introduced me to deals,introduced me to people that I
never think I could meet.
He really changed my career andI think people don't realize the
importance of mentorship.
It wasn't just only learningfrom him, it was also all the
(02:28):
doors he opened and all thepeople he introduced me to.
Honestly, it was such.
Changed.
It was almost like a masterdegree to me.
It was better than a collegemaster degree because we can
experience it day to day.
It wasn't just learning by abook.
So I think working for thisindividual abroad in these very
(02:52):
over the top properties changedmy career.
Give me the opportunity to getpark to rest in the luxury
industry, especially.
Lan Elliott (03:03):
Yeah, that's incredible because I know people
who've worked in luxury, theysay you can't work on a luxury
project, whether you're anemployee or a designer or what
have you, until you've doneluxury.
Which begs the question, how doyou get that first luxury?
That was it.
Miriam Torres (03:17):
That was it.
I actually work on the Wal ofAstoria before I work with him.
When he interview me and I showhim my project.
He closed the portfolio saying,now I'm gonna tell take you
around the world.
You're gonna stay at the Reds inParis and the SBO in London and
place in Paris.
And when you learn and youstudy, you can also experience
(03:40):
it.
And that gave me theopportunity, then come to the
country, come back to UnitedStates and be approved by all
the major luxury brands.
So I will say that was thebiggest.
Opportunity or change in mycareer for the better that
really changed our business.
(04:02):
I think also one of our biggestfactors, success, especially me
is not only the experience, butI don't think people realize how
hard work is so important.
I know it sounds like a simpleword, hard work, but I think
hard work and perseverance isprobably what made us so
(04:25):
successful.
I don't give up easily sometimeit's not good, but most of the
time has been.
Plus, I work harder thananybody.
I always wanna be the hardestworking, and I think people in
the industry don't understand.
How service is so important.
(04:46):
I think people take it bygranted.
It is not just about doing abeautiful design, but it's how
to, the power of service to ourclient is immensely just
replying to an email right awayor answering the call.
Or just having a conversation.
People underestimate the powerof a conversation with a client.
(05:09):
The more you talk to them, thenyou're gonna bring these.
Trust between each other.
And I think that has been a bigpart of our business model.
Work hard, be very connected tothe client, especially very
available and always servicingthem that the communication has
(05:31):
been so important to us.
I think sometime we are afraidto get back.
To a call, think it's a problem,or we're too busy.
I think the most important thingis service and communication, at
least for us.
Lan Elliott (05:49):
I love that.
And Parker Torres, when youstarted that business over 20
years ago.
Was that how you thought this ishow we're going to run our
business, or has it evolved overtime?
Because you are so clientfocused and having those
conversations and.
Miriam Torres (06:10):
No, I think when we started, I was afraid
sometime I remember I have avery good story.
I work on the WillerIntercontinental in DC and I
worked for Oliver Carr, big timedeveloper.
And then they asked me to do thewharf intercontinental.
And it was very hard for him tounderstand, to go from a very
(06:31):
historic hotel to a contemporarynew build and.
It was a struggle when it wasfinished and he went there.
He gave me a call.
I didn't return the call forthree days.
This is one of my learninglesson.
I was petrified because Ithought he will never understand
(06:52):
what we were doing.
It was the right fit for thelocation on that property, and
it is just not the willer.
And why should he have twoproperties that are the same?
It's a very different, a verydifferent property and it was a
very modern new build, and Ifinally got the guts to call
him, and it was the completeopposite.
(07:14):
He's you hit the nail on thehead.
That's how you say in English,right?
Yes.
And I couldn't believe it.
I was like shocked.
After that experience.
I'm like, Miriam, you should notbe afraid.
It is not, they're not alwayscalling you because there's a
problem.
They do call you also whenthings go well, and I just
learned that just answer thecall.
(07:37):
Also, I think if you don'tanswer, if there's a problem,
time just makes it worse.
The sooner you can addressanything, the better you of you
are.
That took a long time for me tolearn.
That comes from experience,right?
So no, this all has beenevolved.
Every day I learn something.
Lan Elliott (07:58):
But you have a lot of clients that work with you
again and again.
The cars are a good example ofthat.
Host is another great examplethat works on a lot of projects
with you, and I think that's areflection of how you work with
your clients and thatrelationship building that you
do.
Miriam Torres (08:18):
I believe that.
As a design firm or any firmdoesn't make any sense to be out
there constantly looking for newclients.
One thing we have focused on,and this is from the beginning,
if you do a good job, they giveyou another job the next year
and the next year, and andunderstand how they work.
(08:42):
And what are the importantthings to them?
It makes our job so much easierthat every time with a new
client to understand how theywant the process and how they
work.
And I see this often people outthere searching and searching
for new clients better justcultivate what you have.
Do a really good job with themand the business.
(09:02):
Just keep rolling.
And I will say most of ourclients, if we don't one hotel,
it's because they only own onehotel, but we always do multiple
hotels.
I always love to send my clientlist to people because they
long, and we do it by clientpurpose, not by brand.
Lan Elliott (09:21):
I love that.
I love that.
And the focus on your clientsand really getting to know them
and getting to know them overtime.
Yeah.
I wanted to flip to the otherside of running a business, and
that is your teams, because abig part of leadership and
building of businesses aroundhow do you develop high
(09:42):
performing teams and in additionto your teams being very
talented.
The people at Parker Torres tendto stay for a long time, which
is unusual in this day and age.
And I've heard your team evencalled you Mama Bear.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yes.
So
Lan Elliott (09:59):
what is it about your leadership style that
resonates with your teammembers?
Miriam Torres (10:05):
I can't believe you heard that.
I do.
I'm very protective of everybodyin my team.
It is like a family.
Barbara and I have extremelyfortunate that everybody in our
team has been 10, 15 years.
And if somebody's new becausethey just started, but
everybody's been there forever.
I've been told by people inLinkedIn that they see it, they
(10:26):
go to people's name and see howlong they've been with us.
It was very important to me fromthe beginning.
To treat people, obviously withrespect and the norm, and like
it was never about us, likereally being a money making
machine.
Just being in a place wherepeople love what they do,
(10:47):
especially in our business.
But also I just think at onepoint.
In my business, I recognizedthat I needed to let go, that
they were experiencing enough,that they were talented enough
that they've been with me longenough that they know.
As much as I do or more, and Ialways felt like you at some
(11:13):
point need to let go and letthem excel and execute their job
and not be micromanaging.
Of course I can do this becausethey've been with me for that
long.
Maybe 14 years ago, I was havingdinner with Alan Benjamin from
Benjamin West after the modelroom of the Fairmont Copley.
(11:34):
And I never forget this, he toldme, which is another interesting
thing, he said, just hire peoplesmarter and more talented.
Thank you.
And I never forgot that.
Never forgotten that.
So another part of.
What I do with my team is givethe credit when it is the person
(11:55):
who did the project.
So we often finish a project orfinish a presentation.
And the client goes, Miriam,because I'm always the boys and
the one in the center, right?
Just my personality.
I'm just drama.
But I always look and say no.
I didn't design this.
And I always give the credit.
(12:17):
So the person or the team, therecould be four of them that work
so hard, and I've done this foryears.
I never take the credit.
I'm not the one designing everyitem in the project.
And I, you'll realize how muchthese people appreciate that the
(12:37):
client gets to see andunderstand who really was
behind.
The product that they got.
So I think that has been veryimportant, letting them go and
do their thing and notmicromanage them.
And also give the credit whereit is worth the people that
actually did the work.
It's not, it's all about me,many things, but in that one I'm
(13:00):
okay to give it, give up alittle bit.
Lan Elliott (13:04):
I love that.
I know one of yournon-negotiable is your wine at
five o'clock, so Yeah.
And for our audience, we arerecording it at five o'clock, so
I made sure she had a glasses ofwine.
I
Miriam Torres (13:13):
have a roset though, so it's funny because if
I wanna work late, when I usedto be in the office the person.
Said at the front will bring mealways a glass of champagne and
potato chip so I could staylater.
'cause that's what kept methere.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
But I can't believe you.
It's a small price
Lan Elliott (13:31):
to pay if your boss like really recognizes your work
and, and talks about it with theclients and showcases your
talent, and if your boss isn'tall over, you micromanaging you.
So I think it's a small price topay to, to bring you a glass of
wine.
Yeah.
At the end of the day, they,them feel
Miriam Torres (13:50):
empower in their job.
It's important.
Lan Elliott (13:52):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I think people wanna do a goodjob and that's the first
instinct.
I wanted to switch over to thisidea of.
Perfect versus effective becausethe pursuit of perfection is
something that can hold peopleback.
And I know I see a lot of womenpush themselves on their work to
(14:16):
make it perfect.
And maybe sometimes it would bebetter to focus on making sure
what you did was effective, butrather than good point, rather
than spending all that time onperfection, you could spend more
time returning phone calls,developing relationships, really
listening to the people you'reworking with and taking the time
to be with people rather thansitting at your desk making your
(14:37):
work.
Perfect.
And this perfection thing canalso make someone a difficult
boss to work with.
And we've talked about ourpersonal journeys with
perfection, but how do you thinkabout this now?
How does it impact how you leadyour team?
Miriam Torres (14:54):
I can't believe you brought this up.
It is something that I neverreally thought about it, but.
In depth.
But looking back, I haveevolved.
My relationship with perfectionhas definitely evolved.
I always wanted to be aperfectionist.
It is a big problem, actually.
(15:16):
It is.
Many times actually holds youback and you're stuck.
I think in our industry.
You can, it never ends, right?
So you need to set your setlimits and understand that.
Sometime there's not such thingsas perfect and you have to teach
(15:40):
yourself in your head when it'stime to stop because sometime
you actually don't get the bestbenefit of it.
It can take you to a negativespace.
So I think for me, I have triedto change and think.
Not so much about perfection,but in my head about how I could
(16:03):
be more embraced to be a littlebit excellent, but not to be to
a point that it holds you backto, to find, I guess you stuck
in a process.
You actually get stuck in aprocess and you need to be able.
To move on and finalize it.
(16:24):
And by perfection, you'reholding your team back.
It's not only you, it becomes abigger problem.
And I tell you at the beginningthat I had that problem, and
it's often in my head becausesometime I step back and I say,
it's fantastic, I can work onthis forever.
It's like kinda sculpture,right?
You are gonna do a sculpture andyou can be working on it for the
(16:47):
rest of your life, and at somepoint you have to realize.
It needs to stop.
I don't think I have completelyperfection, getting rid of
perfection.
Does that make sense?
I haven't been able to do it,but I try every day.
I try.
Lan Elliott (17:06):
I do think also in what you do, it's one thing to
work on a spreadsheet and go,okay, I think I got all the
information I need in there, andI think I have the right
conclusion.
What you do is so artistic withdesign and how do you know when
you're done?
How do you know when you say,okay, this is where we need to
(17:27):
stop.
How do you tell your teams thisis a good place to stop?
Miriam Torres (17:32):
I think sometime is the action we're gonna do
this.
And it is from here to here, andwe have from this date to this
date and list, dual list.
These are the actions and thegoals we need.
And when we get here, we stop.
If our DD presentation in acertain date obviously there's
something really wrong.
(17:52):
I'm not gonna stop.
I will stay up all night.
But at some point you I get verypersonal with my job.
And I think at some point youneed to let it go.
These are not my homes.
I wanna give them the best,what, in 10 years somebody's
gonna redo it.
That's what I learned
Speaker 2 (18:12):
too.
Lan Elliott (18:13):
So I That is a great perspective.
As a designer, you can make itlike a piece of art, but in 10
years someone's gonna rip it allout and start over again with a
new guest room, right?
So it's just
Miriam Torres (18:23):
get your plan and go into action and give yourself
those boundaries.
It's easy for me to tell youthis right now.
If you asked me this 20 yearsago, I'd be like,
Speaker 2 (18:33):
oh, it has to be perfect,
Miriam Torres (18:36):
right?
As you develop and you mature,things change as how you run
your business,
Lan Elliott (18:44):
and what you do isn't just making the most
beautiful thing, right?
You're also working within abudget for your client within a
timeline, and you have to hitcertain dates.
If you.
Miss the window.
They can't renovate their hotelduring low season, so you don't
always have the luxury to keepmoving your dates back.
Miriam Torres (19:04):
Our clients are more, they're more concerned
about my budget and my schedulethan the design, my clientele,
because a lot of them are.
And so that our first thing whenwe meet is that what is the
budget and what is the schedule?
It's never, it's what is itgonna look like?
So I think we never missdeadlines.
(19:29):
We always produce very strongset of specifications syndrome.
And I do, I will say we're knownfor very good documentation.
You can have a beautiful space,but if the client was so over
budget and it took them doublethe time to get there, they
won't hire you again.
So I think people don'tunderstand how important
(19:51):
documentation is.
And I think I will say that's mybusiness partner.
Barbara was the one who startedthat in our office.
We were very different.
We the yin and yang, and theycreated dramatic.
Crazy Puerto Rican, and she'slike the very, I'm the hurricane
(20:15):
of the team and she's a verystable balance.
Cool.
As a cucumber.
And she just runs, she keeps themachine running.
And she kept the schedules andthe budget.
So I think.
One thing that has been reallygood for us is that we have
(20:37):
both.
It's really hard as a creativeperson to have that side of the
brain.
She's the engineer, I'm theartist, and I think if I didn't
have her.
We would never be as successful.
It is, it's an incrediblebalance.
And we were very lucky how weended up being together to, and
(20:58):
the clients do say that to us.
You have a very good balance.
So I always tell people,partnerships are so important,
make or break business.
Lan Elliott (21:08):
And I think finding a partner that can balance the
things, that maybe you're morethis and they're more that.
And then it ends up being agreat balance.
Yes.
I wanted to talk about impostersyndrome.
This is something that I think alot of us deal with, the critic
in your head where that noisemakes us doubt ourselves and our
(21:31):
skills makes us feel like we'reimposters or like we don't
belong in the room.
Have you handled impostersyndrome?
How?
How do you Big time.
How do you do that?
Big time?
Miriam Torres (21:43):
I experienced that, especially when you step
into a new responsibility.
A new project and you're in abig room full of gentleman and
all these people, I've alwaysquestioned myself and I give the
presentation and either we getthe job because we're
interviewing or we give apresentation, we present in a
(22:06):
new project and either we getthe job or they say.
It is beautiful and I walked outand the first thing I will tell
somebody, like my partner's,like I faked it.
You know what I mean?
I faked it for years, but Iactually read a book that really
helped me and have perspective.
(22:26):
On this it's called Leaning Inby Shirley sandberg.
Cheryl Sandberg, yes.
Yes.
And it, I read this like a long,when it came out a long time
ago, but one of the chaptertalked about this and I didn't
realize had the syndrome.
It was when I read it, I'm like,oh my God, I have that.
(22:47):
And what I learned from her is Iwould not be there and done so
well.
Without my experience, withoutmy expertise, and I am valid to
be in that situation, but I haveto remind myself with that.
I'm like, I'm here because Ihave the experience.
I have the validation.
(23:07):
They would've never call me.
But I don't know, I don't knowif it's the woman thing, but I
will be in rooms and I, everytime I finish, I'm like, I faked
it.
But I, now looking back, I did.
It is just a very interestingthing.
But that book really helped me.
It really did.
Lan Elliott (23:25):
And so you don't think that anymore.
You walk in and you go, I knowwhat I'm talking about now.
I
Miriam Torres (23:29):
walked in.
Yeah.
Now I walked in.
I know more than you do.
Lan Elliott (23:34):
I love how that book helped you conquer that
feeling of faith in it.
It was the fear.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
It gives me because you were doing
Lan Elliott (23:41):
pitches all the time, right?
You're walking into a room withyour design and I think.
Pitching a design is sovulnerable compared to,
negotiating a number.
Exactly.
A design is so much more areflection of you and it's so
Miriam Torres (23:57):
objective, right?
Lan Elliott (23:59):
Yeah.
So
Miriam Torres (24:00):
objective.
But that book gave me thestrength and the confide.
It was like a chapter in thebook, but I, and I didn't even
know I had the syndrome.
Now I'm like, oh my God, I dothat every time.
Isn't it interesting that youthought of that to ask me that?
I love that.
Lan Elliott (24:18):
I'm glad that book was so helpful, and so our
audience who might be strugglingwith it can go find Cheryl
Sandberg's, lean in and check itout as well.
Miriam, I have a question.
That is one of my favoritequestions that we ask all our
guest advisors, and that is whatadvice would you give to your
(24:39):
younger self, or what would youtell 22-year-old Miriam?
What would you want her to know?
Miriam Torres (24:44):
I think to me, how to solve problems.
I think my biggest challengewhen I was young, because I was
actually doing everything, thespecification and the design.
I found when a problem came, itwas like the whole project was
gonna fall apart and my I wasgonna be fired.
(25:05):
And when you're young, you don'tunderstand that actually, what
I've learned from my client isthat they respect you so much
when a problem comes and you hitit right away and can come up
with a solution.
It is actually turned some timeinto a positive because they
like, you know what, we can workwith her because she fixed it.
(25:28):
You know what I mean?
And there will always beproblem, but the more important
thing is.
To be able to, how to address itquickly, not costing them time
or money, but I didn't thinkabout that took a long time.
And that came just really withexperience.
I used to have fall apart, likecrumble.
And now I just go, okay, what Ihave to do, how fast, what is
(25:51):
the solution?
So I think that was one of thehardest thing for me when I was
young, how to deal with problemand solving them.
What I learned that I've turnedit into a positive because
clients now always think I cancount on her to get it figured
out.
So I don't know if this issomething that people will
(26:13):
embrace, but it was reallysomething that used to.
Freak me out because that comefrom perfection, right?
Lan Elliott (26:22):
Yeah.
It comes from working so hard tomake sure it's perfect, that you
don't know what to do when it'snot perfect.
And one of the things that tookme a long time to learn is it's
not necessarily whether you'regonna run into adversity because
everyone runs into adversity oneway or another.
You're not judged on whether ornot there's adversity.
You're judged by how you respondto it and how you react to it.
(26:47):
And I think finding a way tosolve problems when they come
up.
You can't always avoid everyproblem out there, but finding a
way to resolve it and knowingthat you're a problem solver is
such a great skill for theclient.
Miriam Torres (27:03):
It is a positive skill.
It is.
So turn something negative intoa positive.
But when I was young, I didn'tthink that way.
I thought the world was gonnaend.
Lan Elliott (27:14):
The world didn't end.
You just got better at dealingwith handling and overcoming
obstacles.
Miriam, we are coming to the endof our conversation.
This
Speaker 2 (27:23):
was fast.
Lan Elliott (27:25):
It was fun.
I've got one more question foryou because you shared so much
great advice already.
Based on your journey and whatyou've learned along the way, do
you have one final nugget ofadvice for our audience who are
looking to advance theircareers?
What would you share with'em?
Miriam Torres (27:45):
I have a bunch of things, but I think one that is
very different and unique that Ibe become very good at, and I
think people don't think aboutit, is how to connect people.
How to connect people byconnecting people.
I have gotten a lot of clientsby making personal connections.
(28:09):
By connecting other people havecome to me.
I don't think people realize.
Don't stay in your office.
Don't stay in your home,especially in these days.
I'm always out there connectingwith people.
It's incredible when I'm talkingto somebody that they might have
(28:30):
a project or their friends havea project, or I'm introducing
you to a friend and then we findout they have a hotel.
The power of connecting withpeople versus only being working
from home and especially withthe young generation.
I think is lacking and it'ssomething that I think it's not
(28:50):
just about working, right?
That's what I'm saying.
It's the connection because allthese people working eventually
will wanna bring business to thecompany.
So if you don't meet people andyou don't have all these
connections in the industry, asyou move up the ladder, that's
what you actually need the most.
(29:11):
To be connected to all thepeople in the industry.
And I don't know how these younggeneration think that they're
gonna connect.
I think you need to be outthere.
So I say this to the younggeneration.
Get out of the house, get out ofyour shell and try to connect.
And the more people you meetevery day, give yourself a goal.
(29:33):
How many people you gonna meetthis week?
It will advance your career.
I'm not talking about knowledge,I'm not talking only about work
is connecting and meetingpeople.
And in all type of the part ofthe industry.
It could be the banker, it couldbe the developer, it could be it
(29:54):
just the contractor or thelighting representative E.
Everybody's connected.
It's a big web and you need tobe out there connecting with
people that to me is something Iwould like to give to the young
generation.
Lan Elliott (30:10):
I love that.
Don't stay in your office makingyour work perfect.
Yes, make sure it's effectiveand it's great, but then take
your time to go out and spendtime with people and get to know
people.
And I love the part ofconnecting people.
When you meet someone, you go,oh, you really need to know this
person.
And you can connect tolike-minded people.
I think that's a reallyvaluable, you can get so much
(30:31):
business by connecting withpeople
Miriam Torres (30:34):
or mentorship too.
Absolutely.
Lan Elliott (30:38):
Absolutely.
Thank you Miriam.
So appreciate you coming on ourshow and sharing your wisdom and
experience.
I really appreciate you and allyou do to help others in the
industry, which I know you do alot of, so thank you very much.
Miriam Torres (30:55):
I'm honored that you asked me and it was a
pleasure.
Let's do it again.
Lan Elliott (31:02):
We can always have a glass of wine.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
That's all right.
That's perfect.
Lan Elliott (31:07):
Okay, and for the audience, if you've enjoyed this
interview with Miriam, I hopeyou'll go to our website, it's
personal stories.com, where youcan find more interviews with
hospitality industry leaders.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Thank you, Ann.
Talk to you soon.
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