March 3, 2025 • 35 mins
In this episode of I’ve Got Guts!, Lauren breaks down ovarian cysts—what they are, why they happen, and when to be concerned. Meanwhile, Stef shares an IVF update and dives into the big question: Is chronic illness forever? We explore the realities of living with long-term health conditions, managing symptoms, and finding hope in the journey. Tune in for an honest, informative, and relatable conversation!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, I'm Stefanie and I'm Lauren and this is I've Got Guts, a podcast about living
(00:09):
and thriving with chronic illness.
Let's be real, it is really hard.
But it doesn't have to be.
You are not alone.
With this podcast, we want to create a community and a space to be able to talk about tough
stuff and laugh along the way.
The idea for this podcast stemmed from us trying to find one for ourselves to listen
to but not being able to find anything that didn't make us more sad or frustrated.
(00:34):
Our goal is to talk about the hard stuff, but also talk about how to get through it,
be positive, have a full and productive life and thrive.
But before we get started, just so we are clear, we are not medical professionals.
We are just here sharing our personal experiences.
All right, well, here we go.
This is an interesting way to kind of kick off our recording today.
(00:55):
We're a little out of sorts.
Just a little.
I have a case of the giggles, that I can't get rid of
We've tried to record our beginning a few times, but we landed it.
We got it done.
And I look right before Anthony hit, like, yes, let's do this.
Mera just like vomited.
Everywhere.
Everywhere.
What did you call it?
Scarf and barf.
Yep.
(01:16):
So, and yeah, so it was a little tricky start to our recording today, but we're ready to
get into thorns and roses.
Yes.
So Room, talk about your thorn this week.
Okay.
So we get a February break, right?
Yes.
Which I did not know.
Did you know like New York State's one of the only states that does February break?
And there are people in New York State who don't have the full break.
(01:37):
Like there are kids down south or down, not down south, but closer to the city, right
outside of the city.
Like Kelly, her kids only had like a four day weekend and Kel had the whole break off.
So yeah, so it depends.
Oh my God.
Well, I guess I shouldn't complain because I'm glad I got a whole week off, but our whole
(01:59):
break was literally snow and cold.
And I feel like the worst part of that is we probably, if we were at work, we probably
would have gotten a snow day, which is annoying because like, it's like, no, this would have
been a snow day.
Exactly.
And I had to do paperwork for the majority of it, which was also a bummer.
And my thorn is, Gas X is a ripoff.
(02:23):
This is going to get your giggles going back again.
So everyone, I'll get into this more when I give you guys my IVF update, but I did have
my egg retrieval and everyone said, Gas X will be your best friend.
You have to take Gas X to survive recovery.
So I buy Gas X.
Don't think anything of it, right?
I take it yesterday.
Turns out it has peppermint oil in it.
(02:45):
That's like your arch enemy.
Peppermint and me are not friends.
I thought I was going to die yesterday.
I was regurgitating peppermint.
I had the pain and the burning in my chest and it was like in my shoulder and I just
could not get comfortable.
I tried everything to like get rid of the peppermint that was just living in my throat.
(03:05):
It was so terrible.
That's a gassy thorn.
It was a gassy thorn.
Okay.
As soon as you talked about Gas X, it made me think when we were in college.
This is a really quick funny side note.
We shared a dorm room together.
It was our sophomore year.
And if you guys remember those Yaffa blacks, which apparently they still have them today.
(03:25):
But it's like the crate and then it has the clear draws in it.
Of course, the two of us living together, ours is full of Gas X, Pepto Bismol, Pepcid
AC, Miralax.
So you can actually see it sticking out.
We don't have closet doors.
Right.
We were in the dorm and we had boys over from down the hall who were hanging out with us.
(03:50):
I look over and I'm like on display through the clear drawers.
This is Gas X.
Gas X.
We're like dying.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
I remember you were like trying to do this thing where you shimmied in front of it and
like hung a shirt over the drawer.
I'm like, this is so embarrassing.
But it just shows.
We used to be embarrassed about it.
And now here we are telling the world about our issues.
(04:11):
Telling the world about our issues.
We've come a long way since college.
We really have.
I can still picture that moment.
It was fun.
Oh my God.
What is your thorn?
My thorn is a sad thorn today.
So as you all know, my son Connor plays hockey and this weekend was a hockey playoff.
(04:32):
So honestly, his team has grown tremendously this year from the beginning of the year to
now.
His coach Melton is incredible.
Like he's just such a good human and he's so good with the kids.
And I feel like he's gotten the kids to play together with such harmony in a way and teamwork.
(04:54):
Just the player development this year was amazing.
So it's been such a great year.
And they did so well at the end of the year that they were like in the playoffs for the
first time.
And today was the semifinals.
So they had to play against the team this morning and that dictated if they were going
to like the championship.
(05:15):
It was so hard.
First of all, one, all the moms and I were like climbing out of our skulls.
Like we were just so nervous because it was one to one tied the entire game.
It went into overtime.
Oh my God.
Five minutes of overtime.
Still nobody scored.
And then they had to do like a shootout.
So each they went back and forth and so much pressure for these little guys.
(05:38):
Connor was one of them who got to do the shootout.
And unfortunately they lost, but they had such a great game.
But it just like breaks my heart to see him and his teammates just so sad and so down.
And he literally poor kid cried like the whole team came out in tears and talking to the
coach's wife, Shauna, she's amazing.
(05:59):
And she's like, we forget how emotional they still are, how young they still are.
They're so fierce out there on the ice.
But then it just so it was just a really sad thorn for us.
But you said it perfectly.
Like it's hard at this age to like grow from, you know, look reflecting on it.
Like we made it this far and taking that as a win.
(06:20):
Yes, yes.
But they're still young.
They're young and it was tough, but it was a stressful, stressful way to start the day.
So that was my sad thorn.
All right, roses.
What was your rose?
I'm finally getting an iron infusion. Finally, I told you you were next.
I know.
So I met with the hematologist this week.
(06:42):
She spent an hour with me.
Okay, that's amazing.
Yeah, she was so thorough.
She asked me a million questions.
Some of them I was like, wait, I don't know if I have the answer off the top of my head
to that, which usually it takes a lot to stump me at a doctor's appointment.
But she asked a lot of questions.
And so I don't get one this upcoming week, but the week after.
That's so amazing.
Right.
Nice and early in the morning.
(07:03):
So honestly, I'll be able to go to it and still get to work on time.
Oh, that's so perfect.
Just some tips.
Make sure you dress warm, like cozy.
Like, you she already told me that.
Yes.
Nobody told me that.
And then when I got there, they did give me like a warm blanket or whatever.
But it's just it's like ice going into your veins.
I'm already cold.
(07:24):
Yay.
I'm so happy for you, room.
You deserve this iron.
Yes.
I'm so excited.
What is your rose?
So my rose is our book club.
So it was so good.
Room and I and a couple of other ladies read the book The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins,
which we've talked about.
You've highlighted some of your favorite parts.
(07:46):
So we kind of had our culmination during break where we all got together and we had our little
book club and it was just the people who ended up being there were from different aspects.
Right.
We were all from different mixes of your life.
Yes.
Like nobody really necessarily all knew each other.
Well, some did.
And it was just a really very like just a great night, a healing night where we're like, we
(08:07):
could reflect on the book and share our takeaways.
And it was just so super meaningful.
We really dug deep into our souls and our hearts.
I feel like we poured our true feelings out about how it affected us and how it's going
to be hard to apply it to certain people.
We really talked it out.
Yes, we did.
We did.
I feel like I was such a teacher, though.
I kept going back into the book and being like on page 146.
(08:29):
Yes, you definitely did.
But it's nice because it reminded everybody like, oh, yeah.
And then we all kind of talked about what you brought up and everything.
Yeah, we bonded.
We bonded.
And I love that when that happens.
It's like when women can come together and just be able to just have these deep discussions
and listen and give feedback and just feel heard, you know.
(08:50):
So kudos to Mel Robbins for writing an incredible book that brought us all together.
And I think it's a theory.
If you have not read The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, we highly recommend it.
And I do have to say, because a couple of the ladies were saying like, it's hard to
find the time to read a personal development book.
And sometimes it can be tricky to actually read the book.
(09:10):
But Audible is a great option to just put in some headphones and listen as like you
drive or clean your house or whatever.
That's where I feel like I do my best personal development reading is Audible.
So that was my Rose.
That was my Rose.
Love it.
All right.
Who are we shouting out this week?
We are shouting out Katie.
(09:32):
So several years ago, I was working in a school and one of my teammates, Katie, she's actually,
you know, a good 10 years younger than me almost.
But we would never know it.
I feel like she fits right in with us.
She's kind of like your little sister.
She is my little sister.
I always call her little sis.
We look like we are 100% related.
(09:54):
And she's just through the years we've gotten so close and she's such a good friend of mine.
And she moved recently.
So she's far away now.
So we don't get to have our little catch ups.
Like we used to have little catch ups where we would, you know, drinking aperol spritz
and gossip on everything.
We don't get that anymore.
So she listens to the podcast every week and she texts me every week and she's like, oh
(10:16):
my God, I feel like I'm catching up.
I feel like I know everything about your life.
I miss you so much.
So she's one of our biggest fans.
So we love you, little sis.
Thanks Katie for listening.
It means a lot.
All right.
You are starting us off today.
What do you got for us?
All right.
I'm taking you guys way back to the summer of 2005.
(10:37):
When I was like writing my notes for this episode, I had to call room and be like, okay,
refresh my memory a little bit about what was going on.
It was so long ago.
Just for reference, we're 41 now.
2005 was when we graduated college.
So this is a real throwback.
This is a throwback.
I had to dig deep.
But once like I triggered my mind, I feel like it all came back to me.
(10:59):
So at this point, I was still living at home with my parents.
We were in Clifton Park, which is right outside of Albany.
And we just finished up the spring semester at Oswego.
And we were going to be doing our student teaching in Albany that fall semester.
And it was so great then that we got to do that.
And I lived in Albany that summer.
(11:19):
We both worked at the YMCA in Saratoga.
Yes, yes.
We had such fun times, such fun times.
And it was so nice to be able, I feel like, student teach away from the college settings
so we could really...
So we can actually focus.
Yeah.
So at that point, obviously, I was dating Sean, of course, and we were finally done
(11:42):
with the long distance part of our relationship.
I think back, like, we really started long distance for the first couple of years, obviously,
until I graduated, until this point.
So I wake up in the middle of the night and in my canopy bed...
Yes.
I love that you put that in there.
First of all, I had the best canopy bed, like the twin canopy bed.
(12:04):
And I had this floral, beautiful...
So you.
Comforter, this whole situation.
And I've had it since I was a kid.
And when we...
My parents moved off of Long Island upstate when I was in the middle of college.
So it was all my childhood bedroom furniture.
And my mom was like, do you want me to get rid of it?
I was like, how dare you?
(12:24):
She's like, Lauren, it's falling apart.
I'm like, it's my canopy bed.
So here I am rolling around in my canopy bed and I am like doubled over insane pain.
And at this point, I was new on my celiac disease journey.
I was recently diagnosed and was just navigating eating gluten free.
(12:46):
And back then, first of all, it was really challenging.
There was nothing.
There was barely anything.
And what was out there did not taste the best.
I was actually, honestly, if I think back, I think I was in a food depression.
It was really, really challenging to make that shift.
And when I woke up in pain like this, I originally thought like, I got poisoned with gluten.
(13:07):
Because honestly, I did a lot of messing up in the beginning when it came to adjusting
to the gluten free diet and cross contamination.
And if you're listening and you are a newly diagnosed celiac, give yourself grace and
patience.
It takes time to really figure out.
It really does.
It does.
And you really learn how sensitive you are.
And I can't have any cross contamination.
(13:28):
So at this point, I'm like, did I eat?
Then I'm going in my mind, what did I eat that could have had gluten?
What could it have been?
But honestly, the pain I remember was just getting so intense and it was worse than anything
I've ever felt.
And honestly, at that point, I was used to dealing with belly pain in general because
of the undiagnosed celiac, but this was different.
(13:50):
This is my first experience with really, really scary pain, worse than an ulcer, worse than...
And you knew it wasn't an ulcer because it was in your lower belly.
Right.
It was all super low.
So after hours of intense pain, I went to the hospital to make sure it wasn't my appendix
or any type of crazy emergency.
My mom brought me because we were living together then.
(14:10):
That's Sean.
This is before we passed the torch to Sean.
And they admitted me pretty quickly because my ultrasound and CT scan showed I had an
ovarian cyst that ruptured.
And usually your body can take care of the rupture and fluid on its own if you've had
a ruptured cyst, but for whatever reason, mine was not.
(14:32):
Little did we know your body doesn't like to take care of things on its own, like it's
an attack itself.
It needs a little help, it needs a little help.
So they also did a colonoscopy while I was there to rule out anything else going on that
came back normal.
So we knew it wasn't anything in my colon.
And after two days there, they said I needed surgery to remove the ruptured cyst and blood
(14:53):
that was all like sitting in there causing me pain.
So they were just kind of monitoring me.
And so a ruptured ovarian cyst means a fluid filled sac on the ovary that's burst open
and it can often cause like sudden sharp pain in the lower abdomen.
Sometimes you can have like nausea, vomiting, you can also have bleeding.
(15:15):
And ovarian cysts can kind of develop for different reasons.
And honestly, most ovarian cysts are harmless.
A cyst that ruptures sometimes may cause no symptoms at all.
Like you could have had that and you maybe didn't even know.
I have them all the time.
Yeah.
I'm very prone to cysts.
Yeah.
And they can be super mild with mild symptoms.
So a ruptured cyst that can cause mild symptoms can be kind of managed with pain medicine.
(15:40):
But in my case, it was just so painful and so severe and my body wasn't taking care of
it.
So the next safest choice was to have surgery.
So they just went in laparoscopically.
I was nervous though.
This is my very first surgery.
And I remember being like, what?
And they do like laparoscopic.
So it was just these little marks and they went in, they remove what was ruptured.
(16:04):
They took, you know, took out all the blood that was sitting in there.
So everything went really well.
I do remember though, your mom wasn't able to like be at the hospital one day.
So I filled in for backup and it's like, this is true friendship right here when you are
changing your friend's underwear and her pad in the hospital.
Yes, because I was bleeding so much.
You do have a lot of vaginal bleeding after and it's just, it was so much blood.
(16:29):
It was so much blood.
It was pretty scary.
True friendship right there.
And really I just had Sean and my parents there and you, Room.
I was so happy when you moved there for that short stint of time.
And Sean, like yes, you guys were dating for some period of time, but this was like a real
personal, not quite at the stage to have him like do something like that.
(16:50):
Exactly.
A little bit.
I mean, let's be honest.
He's still scared of blood.
He is?
It's a girl thing.
He always says he never trusts anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die.
So he has a whole issue with all of that in general.
So yes, no, we were not at the point where he was helping me in that situation.
So I have the surgery, I get out of surgery and this is kind of funny.
(17:14):
So at the time, one of Sean's best friends was getting married and Sean was in the wedding.
And this, literally I had my surgery and three days later was this wedding.
And I'm like, I can go.
I can do this.
Of course you did.
Don't cancel plans.
So I put on, I can still picture the dress I wore because I needed something where I
(17:35):
didn't sit up straight or walk straight.
I was like a little hunched over because they cut through your muscles in your stomach.
And I drove the whole crew to the wedding.
Obviously I was a sober one because I just had surgery, brought everybody.
And it was definitely an interesting night.
But hey, it just shows.
You really can do anything after surgery if you put your mind to it.
(17:59):
That's true.
So after that experience with that cyst, I've actually had cysts on my ovary that ruptured
three other times.
And I want to say most recently it was like, I think about a year ago where I had it again
happen.
So I know the pain now and all the other times that I've had it, I was able to kind of manage
(18:22):
symptoms on my own and use pain meds and then my body took care of it.
So I never needed surgery again for that.
Yeah.
Always make sure that if you are experiencing lower abdominal pain like that, if it does
get to be that serious, you do go to the hospital, the doctor.
Because even the times when I didn't need surgery, I needed IV pain meds.
(18:45):
It is painful.
So that is my story.
The joys of being a woman.
I know, right?
Right.
Yeah.
All right, well, talking about the reproductive area, let's just jump into my IVF update.
Let's do it.
(19:05):
So as we're recording this today, it is February 23rd.
So you guys won't be getting this until March 3rd.
So there'll be a few more updates coming after that.
So the last time I checked in with you guys, I was doing all my stims to kind of stimulate
(19:27):
my ovaries.
And we found out halfway through this February break that everything is good.
I had two promising follicles, which basically meant potentially two eggs.
And with my diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve, that is kind of the expectation.
(19:48):
I have two other friends who went in and they got like 20 something eggs.
I'm never going to get a number like that.
So we did our trigger shot on Wednesday night.
And Thursday night I came over for book club.
Yes.
So our egg retrieval was super, super early on Friday morning.
(20:10):
Rena is like going off right now.
She's like, this is a tough time for me too.
This is so stressful for me.
I felt the hormones.
So our egg retrieval was, we had to be at the clinic at 7 a.m. on Friday morning.
Of course, we're in the snowiest week ever.
And we had to drive to Buffalo, which is an hour and a half.
(20:30):
Terrible.
So we left at 5 a.m.
Thank God we did because it took us about two hours to get there.
I mean, the thruway, not plowed.
We were like, we hit points where there was whiteout.
It was just like a stressful drive.
So when we got there, it was so nice.
It's like a spa there.
I know I sent you the picture and you were like, oh my God, it looks nice there.
Where are you?
(20:50):
We actually, we get our own private room when you check in with like a couch and refreshments.
No, I can't drink anything because I'm going into like a surgery technically.
But visualizing like hot tea and water.
That would be nice.
No, but like because while I'm in my procedure, Anthony gets to sit in that private room like
(21:11):
and he can read his book and like he doesn't have to sit in like a waiting room with a bunch
of other people.
I love that.
I love that.
It's a special experience and it's also stressful.
A lot of emotions.
I love that you have your private room.
So the nurse comes in to like go over everything with me because it is a surgical procedure.
I do need to, I did need to be put under anesthesia.
(21:32):
So she goes over everything and she's like, well, because you only have two follicles,
we typically like to do an ultrasound to make sure you haven't ovulated yet.
Because if you've ovulated like this, we would be doing this for nothing.
Oh my God.
So both of us, I think our hearts sink to our toes.
And I was like, okay.
Did you know that?
I didn't even know that was a possibility.
(21:54):
I knew that some people ovulated through their trigger shot, but most people, like I said,
get like a huge number of eggs.
So it doesn't always matter because they haven't ovulated all of their eggs, but with me only
having two.
So she still has me do the full get up.
Like it's kind of nice there.
(22:14):
You don't have to wear like the surgical gown.
You put on this nice terry cloth robe.
I still wear my lucky egg retrieval socks, but I put like the hospital socks over them.
She still made me get the full get up.
They put me in the bed.
She has the nurse come in.
I feel like never, I was like trying to breathe.
I'm like, oh my God, please let them still be there.
Please let them still be there.
(22:34):
So she did the ultrasound and actually we saw potentially four follicles.
Wow.
So I had two other ones that grew, but they weren't like huge, huge.
So they were iffy or whatever.
So the nurse and the anesthesiologist were a husband and wife team.
Okay.
Well that's really fun.
And they were so sweet.
(22:54):
They just like, they had such a nice conversation with me.
They could tell I was nervous.
They just like kind of ease that anxiety for me.
They were so nice.
Another part of this that was a little stressful for those of you who've been avid listeners,
I talked about my IUI experience and they didn't have a positive experience.
The doctor was awful.
Well, the normal doctor at Buffalo was out.
(23:16):
No, don't tell me.
And the doctor filling in for him was the same one that did my IUI.
So I was nervous, but I went in on the hopes that he would not remember me and he clearly
did not remember me.
Oh, thank God.
So he came in and he was like, look how smiley you are.
He's like women who smile like that during an egg retrieval will always get pregnant.
(23:37):
And that's the last, then he walked out of the room and that's honestly my only interaction
with him.
I love that.
I love that.
I just love that you had like a second impression and you weren't just left with that bad taste
in your mouth from last time.
So they knocked me out when I came to, she let me like, you know, get with it a little
bit before I sit up.
And she said, you know, we were only able to get one egg.
(23:59):
So even though I had four follicles, they were only able to get one egg.
So that's kind of heartbreaking.
I mean, that's, that's a lot.
Just literally talk about putting all your eggs in one basket.
We have one, you know what I mean?
Like a lot of people get a huge number and then they have, you know, there's still a
lot of steps to wait and see.
(24:19):
So I was like, oh my God, one, what if it doesn't make it?
And they actually, they, they brought Anthony right out.
So as soon as I walked out of the procedure room, Anthony was sitting there.
They had already told him he was able to come like in the bathroom with me and help me change.
We were able to like kind of just like process that we had one egg together.
And then we had to come home that day and we, it was really exciting that we got one
(24:45):
egg at least, but the sitting there all day and then having to go to bed that night, knowing
the next day we were going to get that phone call of was the egg mature and did it fertilize?
Right.
We were like, ah, just this waiting game.
I feel like you guys are in like constant, like you get to one milestone and then it's
just waiting another phone call.
And I remember right before we were going to go to bed that night, I just, I started
(25:09):
to cry and I said to Anthony, I'm like, I'm really scared.
I was just so terrified.
So we made sure my phone was set up so that like it was on, do not disturb.
And the next, you know, Anthony stayed home with me because, you know, after a procedure
like that, I can't be alone.
I had anesthesia.
I am prone to blackouts as we talked about in the last episode and I couldn't get that
(25:31):
phone call by myself.
No, you needed to be together during that.
So the phone call came at eight 30 in the morning and the nurse was like, of course
she doesn't lead with the news.
She's like, how are you feeling?
Have you pooped yet?
I'm like, I don't want to talk about that.
I'm fine.
Tell me what about my baby.
She's like, so your egg was mature and fertilized.
(25:51):
So we have a little baby egg.
We do, so I'll tell you the next steps in a minute, but I will just say, you know, recovery
is always interesting for me with, for those of us with chronic illness, we don't always
heal in the same ways that other people do.
(26:13):
Right.
Now with this kind of procedure, typically if you have a ton of eggs, you're prone to
something called OHSS, which is ovarian hyper, you know, stimulation, your eggs, it's just crazy.
And both of my friends, I know that went through IVF had that.
I didn't have that, but I still was really sore and my stomach hasn't quite, I still
(26:34):
don't feel good.
My stomach hasn't adjusted.
I'm sore.
I'm still feeling really lightheaded and dizzy.
So just my body takes longer to recover than other people's and I don't want to rush it
because next steps will be.
So tomorrow is actually Anthony's birthday, but also the day that we're going to get our
eggs first report card.
(26:56):
I just, I love that you're getting a report card.
It's so cute.
Yeah.
So they're going to give it a grade.
And depending on that grade, if it's a good grade, we are going to move forward with preparing
my body to transfer that little guy inside of me.
So hopefully the next time that I'm able to give you guys an update, I will be able to
(27:17):
tell you that our little embryo got a good grade and we're moving forward with transfer.
This is so exciting.
So exciting.
I love it.
The little egg that could.
The little egg that could.
Oh, I love that.
I'm so happy for you guys.
And I feel like so special that tomorrow's Anthony's birthday too.
(27:38):
Also I'm a big numbers person and the fact that we found out that it was mature and fertilized
on two, two, two is a good luck sign to me.
So for sure.
For sure.
I love that.
All right.
So that's my little IVF update.
And I do want to talk about one other thing.
And this is a subject that I see coming up quite frequently.
(28:00):
And it's actually something that a lot of people say to me all the time is chronic illness
forever.
And I just want to say this.
It is not negative to assume that I'll never refer to any part of my chronic illness journey
as recovery because it's better to be realistic and live in a world where I fully accepted
(28:22):
my disability than assume I'm magically going to recover from something I've had for many
years, which there is no known cure for.
And that's really why we are doing this podcast.
We want to talk about improvements and treatments and interventions and hope.
If I were to get better, which I have had episodes of, I'll likely refer to it as remission.
(28:45):
Knowing the reality of what I live with.
So let's talk a little about the difference between acute illness and chronic illness.
And I got this information from an article called Chronic Versus Acute Medical Conditions.
What's the difference?
And it was written by the National Council on Aging.
So an acute disease, it comes on pretty rapidly and it has distinct symptoms and requires
(29:06):
urgent or short term care.
And it typically gets better once it's treated.
So example, like a broken bone from a fall or the flu.
Or even like asthma, technically.
Or even just what I talked about today.
An ovarian cyst.
Yeah.
It's acute.
It's acute.
Yes.
And a chronic condition is slower to develop.
(29:27):
It may progress over time and it may have warning signs or none at all.
And unlike acute conditions, chronic conditions cannot be cured, only controlled.
So living with a chronic illness or managing the symptoms can often be done by creating
a healthcare plan with your doctor or doctors.
And the plan can include medications, medical interventions, diet, exercise plans, and then
(29:52):
complementary treatments such as acupuncture.
Now I personally find it frustrating when someone asks me when my conditions are going
to go away or be cured.
Because they can't and they won't.
Does anybody ever say that to you?
Yeah.
Like when is your esophagus going to get better?
It's really, it is what it is.
When is celiac disease going to go away?
(30:13):
When can you eat gluten?
Right.
Actually, I do have to say that there is, I have a center for celiac research where there
is research around a pill that we could take some type of cure, but exactly, there's nothing
right now.
There's nothing.
And that's the reality of it.
And another frustrating comment is that you don't look sick.
(30:35):
That is the one I hate the most.
And we don't because those of us who live with chronic illness have most likely become
masters of masking and disguising.
And I think Sean even said that when we interviewed the guys.
He said, Lauren is the queen of masking.
Yeah.
That's what I do.
It's just how I show up.
How I look on the outside is nowhere near a reflection of how I feel on the inside.
(31:03):
I love that.
So one purpose of this podcast is to spread awareness about chronic conditions and especially
rare ones.
And maybe, just maybe one day there will be a cure or a medicine that makes life, living
life with these diseases easier.
But for now, we have to accept our reality and find ways to manage.
(31:23):
And it's helpful when people in our lives are on the same page as us.
And acceptance is hard.
I know it's hard to admit to yourself if you are the one with the chronic illness or if
you love someone with a chronic illness that they will be, you know, like, quote unquote,
sick forever.
But that's the reality of what we face.
And the faster that we can be at peace with that and accept that, the easier it is to
(31:44):
find ways to heal and thrive.
I love that so much.
She said it so perfectly.
And I'm going to pull Lauren.
Oh, tell me more.
I'm going to end my little segment here with a quote.
I love this.
And this quote is by the great Martin Luther King Jr.
We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
(32:06):
I love that.
It's so true.
And that word hope, like even when you said it, I just got like chills.
Like it's the hope that we have in our darkest moments, you know, on this roller coaster
ride with chronic illnesses.
So Room, first of all, one, I love that you threw a quote in there.
It might be my favorite part of today.
(32:27):
And you know, all of this, I feel like is so relatable and it makes so much sense.
And you know, after listening to you, I made an instant connection with a book I'm reading
right now specifically for my business.
It's called energetic selling and marketing.
I'm afraid I'm going to butcher her name.
Lenka Latonska.
Yeah, nice job.
(32:50):
Our friend Becky shared it with me and it is just such a good book.
And you know, in this book, it talks about your personal energy and how the energy you
bring to situations can have a huge impact on your growth.
And now, obviously, in this book, she focuses on applying and using your personal energy
to expand your business to the next level.
But in our case here on the podcast, it just had me thinking about our personal energy
(33:15):
in relation to chronic illnesses.
And then you know what happens, my wheels are turning.
And because like you said, most people out there aren't going to be cured.
And we can only control so much.
Don't you feel like sometimes that's like the craziest part is that you feel out of control
sometimes in those moments when you have a flare, when you have a new diagnosis, it just
(33:36):
feels like you're losing control.
But our personal energy is literally the most powerful currency on the planet.
And it is something we can control.
And I feel like when you can have some control, it almost right makes you feel a little bit
better.
And it is something you can use to soothe yourself in your darkest, scariest moments
when you feel hopeless.
(33:57):
And honestly, I've done 10 years of personal development reading courses, all the things.
You know, I'm such a sucker for all of that.
And I'm really looking forward to kind of just diving into this topic on energy in relation
to chronic illnesses in a future episode.
So something to look forward to.
Yeah, you got my wheels turning.
I'm like, oh, my brain, I have all these like it's just like you're finally connecting the
(34:20):
dots.
You know, all of this I've been doing for myself business wise, mindset wise.
It's just like, I've also been doing this in all areas of my life.
Yeah.
So stay tuned.
A little energetic situation happening in the future.
All right.
Well, that is all we've got for you guys today.
Thank you so much for listening.
We really appreciate likes, follows and reviews wherever you listen to your podcasts.
(34:45):
You can find us at I've got guts podcast on Instagram and Facebook, or you can email us
at Ivegotgutspodcasts@gmail.com.
Have a great day.
We'll see you next time.
Bye bye.
Hello, I'm Stefanie and I'm Lauren and this is I've Got Guts, a podcast about living
(00:09):
and thriving with chronic illness.
Let's be real, it is really hard.
But it doesn't have to be.
You are not alone.
With this podcast, we want to create a community and a space to be able to talk about tough
stuff and laugh along the way.
The idea for this podcast stemmed from us trying to find one for ourselves to listen
to but not being able to find anything that didn't make us more sad or frustrated.
(00:34):
Our goal is to talk about the hard stuff, but also talk about how to get through it,
be positive, have a full and productive life and thrive.
But before we get started, just so we are clear, we are not medical professionals.
We are just here sharing our personal experiences.
All right, well, here we go.
This is an interesting way to kind of kick off our recording today.
(00:55):
We're a little out of sorts.
Just a little.
I have a case of the giggles, that I can't get rid of
We've tried to record our beginning a few times, but we landed it.
We got it done.
And I look right before Anthony hit, like, yes, let's do this.
Mera just like vomited.
Everywhere.
Everywhere.
What did you call it?
Scarf and barf.
Yep.
(01:16):
So, and yeah, so it was a little tricky start to our recording today, but we're ready to
get into thorns and roses.
Yes.
So Room, talk about your thorn this week.
Okay.
So we get a February break, right?
Yes.
Which I did not know.
Did you know like New York State's one of the only states that does February break?
And there are people in New York State who don't have the full break.
(01:37):
Like there are kids down south or down, not down south, but closer to the city, right
outside of the city.
Like Kelly, her kids only had like a four day weekend and Kel had the whole break off.
So yeah, so it depends.
Oh my God.
Well, I guess I shouldn't complain because I'm glad I got a whole week off, but our whole
(01:59):
break was literally snow and cold.
And I feel like the worst part of that is we probably, if we were at work, we probably
would have gotten a snow day, which is annoying because like, it's like, no, this would have
been a snow day.
Exactly.
And I had to do paperwork for the majority of it, which was also a bummer.
And my thorn is, Gas X is a ripoff.
(02:23):
This is going to get your giggles going back again.
So everyone, I'll get into this more when I give you guys my IVF update, but I did have
my egg retrieval and everyone said, Gas X will be your best friend.
You have to take Gas X to survive recovery.
So I buy Gas X.
Don't think anything of it, right?
I take it yesterday.
Turns out it has peppermint oil in it.
(02:45):
That's like your arch enemy.
Peppermint and me are not friends.
I thought I was going to die yesterday.
I was regurgitating peppermint.
I had the pain and the burning in my chest and it was like in my shoulder and I just
could not get comfortable.
I tried everything to like get rid of the peppermint that was just living in my throat.
(03:05):
It was so terrible.
That's a gassy thorn.
It was a gassy thorn.
Okay.
As soon as you talked about Gas X, it made me think when we were in college.
This is a really quick funny side note.
We shared a dorm room together.
It was our sophomore year.
And if you guys remember those Yaffa blacks, which apparently they still have them today.
(03:25):
But it's like the crate and then it has the clear draws in it.
Of course, the two of us living together, ours is full of Gas X, Pepto Bismol, Pepcid
AC, Miralax.
So you can actually see it sticking out.
We don't have closet doors.
Right.
We were in the dorm and we had boys over from down the hall who were hanging out with us.
(03:50):
I look over and I'm like on display through the clear drawers.
This is Gas X.
Gas X.
We're like dying.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
I remember you were like trying to do this thing where you shimmied in front of it and
like hung a shirt over the drawer.
I'm like, this is so embarrassing.
But it just shows.
We used to be embarrassed about it.
And now here we are telling the world about our issues.
(04:11):
Telling the world about our issues.
We've come a long way since college.
We really have.
I can still picture that moment.
It was fun.
Oh my God.
What is your thorn?
My thorn is a sad thorn today.
So as you all know, my son Connor plays hockey and this weekend was a hockey playoff.
(04:32):
So honestly, his team has grown tremendously this year from the beginning of the year to
now.
His coach Melton is incredible.
Like he's just such a good human and he's so good with the kids.
And I feel like he's gotten the kids to play together with such harmony in a way and teamwork.
(04:54):
Just the player development this year was amazing.
So it's been such a great year.
And they did so well at the end of the year that they were like in the playoffs for the
first time.
And today was the semifinals.
So they had to play against the team this morning and that dictated if they were going
to like the championship.
(05:15):
It was so hard.
First of all, one, all the moms and I were like climbing out of our skulls.
Like we were just so nervous because it was one to one tied the entire game.
It went into overtime.
Oh my God.
Five minutes of overtime.
Still nobody scored.
And then they had to do like a shootout.
So each they went back and forth and so much pressure for these little guys.
(05:38):
Connor was one of them who got to do the shootout.
And unfortunately they lost, but they had such a great game.
But it just like breaks my heart to see him and his teammates just so sad and so down.
And he literally poor kid cried like the whole team came out in tears and talking to the
coach's wife, Shauna, she's amazing.
(05:59):
And she's like, we forget how emotional they still are, how young they still are.
They're so fierce out there on the ice.
But then it just so it was just a really sad thorn for us.
But you said it perfectly.
Like it's hard at this age to like grow from, you know, look reflecting on it.
Like we made it this far and taking that as a win.
(06:20):
Yes, yes.
But they're still young.
They're young and it was tough, but it was a stressful, stressful way to start the day.
So that was my sad thorn.
All right, roses.
What was your rose?
I'm finally getting an iron infusion. Finally, I told you you were next.
I know.
So I met with the hematologist this week.
(06:42):
She spent an hour with me.
Okay, that's amazing.
Yeah, she was so thorough.
She asked me a million questions.
Some of them I was like, wait, I don't know if I have the answer off the top of my head
to that, which usually it takes a lot to stump me at a doctor's appointment.
But she asked a lot of questions.
And so I don't get one this upcoming week, but the week after.
That's so amazing.
Right.
Nice and early in the morning.
(07:03):
So honestly, I'll be able to go to it and still get to work on time.
Oh, that's so perfect.
Just some tips.
Make sure you dress warm, like cozy.
Like, you she already told me that.
Yes.
Nobody told me that.
And then when I got there, they did give me like a warm blanket or whatever.
But it's just it's like ice going into your veins.
I'm already cold.
(07:24):
Yay.
I'm so happy for you, room.
You deserve this iron.
Yes.
I'm so excited.
What is your rose?
So my rose is our book club.
So it was so good.
Room and I and a couple of other ladies read the book The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins,
which we've talked about.
You've highlighted some of your favorite parts.
(07:46):
So we kind of had our culmination during break where we all got together and we had our little
book club and it was just the people who ended up being there were from different aspects.
Right.
We were all from different mixes of your life.
Yes.
Like nobody really necessarily all knew each other.
Well, some did.
And it was just a really very like just a great night, a healing night where we're like, we
(08:07):
could reflect on the book and share our takeaways.
And it was just so super meaningful.
We really dug deep into our souls and our hearts.
I feel like we poured our true feelings out about how it affected us and how it's going
to be hard to apply it to certain people.
We really talked it out.
Yes, we did.
We did.
I feel like I was such a teacher, though.
I kept going back into the book and being like on page 146.
(08:29):
Yes, you definitely did.
But it's nice because it reminded everybody like, oh, yeah.
And then we all kind of talked about what you brought up and everything.
Yeah, we bonded.
We bonded.
And I love that when that happens.
It's like when women can come together and just be able to just have these deep discussions
and listen and give feedback and just feel heard, you know.
(08:50):
So kudos to Mel Robbins for writing an incredible book that brought us all together.
And I think it's a theory.
If you have not read The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, we highly recommend it.
And I do have to say, because a couple of the ladies were saying like, it's hard to
find the time to read a personal development book.
And sometimes it can be tricky to actually read the book.
(09:10):
But Audible is a great option to just put in some headphones and listen as like you
drive or clean your house or whatever.
That's where I feel like I do my best personal development reading is Audible.
So that was my Rose.
That was my Rose.
Love it.
All right.
Who are we shouting out this week?
We are shouting out Katie.
(09:32):
So several years ago, I was working in a school and one of my teammates, Katie, she's actually,
you know, a good 10 years younger than me almost.
But we would never know it.
I feel like she fits right in with us.
She's kind of like your little sister.
She is my little sister.
I always call her little sis.
We look like we are 100% related.
(09:54):
And she's just through the years we've gotten so close and she's such a good friend of mine.
And she moved recently.
So she's far away now.
So we don't get to have our little catch ups.
Like we used to have little catch ups where we would, you know, drinking aperol spritz
and gossip on everything.
We don't get that anymore.
So she listens to the podcast every week and she texts me every week and she's like, oh
(10:16):
my God, I feel like I'm catching up.
I feel like I know everything about your life.
I miss you so much.
So she's one of our biggest fans.
So we love you, little sis.
Thanks Katie for listening.
It means a lot.
All right.
You are starting us off today.
What do you got for us?
All right.
I'm taking you guys way back to the summer of 2005.
(10:37):
When I was like writing my notes for this episode, I had to call room and be like, okay,
refresh my memory a little bit about what was going on.
It was so long ago.
Just for reference, we're 41 now.
2005 was when we graduated college.
So this is a real throwback.
This is a throwback.
I had to dig deep.
But once like I triggered my mind, I feel like it all came back to me.
(10:59):
So at this point, I was still living at home with my parents.
We were in Clifton Park, which is right outside of Albany.
And we just finished up the spring semester at Oswego.
And we were going to be doing our student teaching in Albany that fall semester.
And it was so great then that we got to do that.
And I lived in Albany that summer.
(11:19):
We both worked at the YMCA in Saratoga.
Yes, yes.
We had such fun times, such fun times.
And it was so nice to be able, I feel like, student teach away from the college settings
so we could really...
So we can actually focus.
Yeah.
So at that point, obviously, I was dating Sean, of course, and we were finally done
(11:42):
with the long distance part of our relationship.
I think back, like, we really started long distance for the first couple of years, obviously,
until I graduated, until this point.
So I wake up in the middle of the night and in my canopy bed...
Yes.
I love that you put that in there.
First of all, I had the best canopy bed, like the twin canopy bed.
(12:04):
And I had this floral, beautiful...
So you.
Comforter, this whole situation.
And I've had it since I was a kid.
And when we...
My parents moved off of Long Island upstate when I was in the middle of college.
So it was all my childhood bedroom furniture.
And my mom was like, do you want me to get rid of it?
I was like, how dare you?
(12:24):
She's like, Lauren, it's falling apart.
I'm like, it's my canopy bed.
So here I am rolling around in my canopy bed and I am like doubled over insane pain.
And at this point, I was new on my celiac disease journey.
I was recently diagnosed and was just navigating eating gluten free.
(12:46):
And back then, first of all, it was really challenging.
There was nothing.
There was barely anything.
And what was out there did not taste the best.
I was actually, honestly, if I think back, I think I was in a food depression.
It was really, really challenging to make that shift.
And when I woke up in pain like this, I originally thought like, I got poisoned with gluten.
(13:07):
Because honestly, I did a lot of messing up in the beginning when it came to adjusting
to the gluten free diet and cross contamination.
And if you're listening and you are a newly diagnosed celiac, give yourself grace and
patience.
It takes time to really figure out.
It really does.
It does.
And you really learn how sensitive you are.
And I can't have any cross contamination.
(13:28):
So at this point, I'm like, did I eat?
Then I'm going in my mind, what did I eat that could have had gluten?
What could it have been?
But honestly, the pain I remember was just getting so intense and it was worse than anything
I've ever felt.
And honestly, at that point, I was used to dealing with belly pain in general because
of the undiagnosed celiac, but this was different.
(13:50):
This is my first experience with really, really scary pain, worse than an ulcer, worse than...
And you knew it wasn't an ulcer because it was in your lower belly.
Right.
It was all super low.
So after hours of intense pain, I went to the hospital to make sure it wasn't my appendix
or any type of crazy emergency.
My mom brought me because we were living together then.
(14:10):
That's Sean.
This is before we passed the torch to Sean.
And they admitted me pretty quickly because my ultrasound and CT scan showed I had an
ovarian cyst that ruptured.
And usually your body can take care of the rupture and fluid on its own if you've had
a ruptured cyst, but for whatever reason, mine was not.
(14:32):
Little did we know your body doesn't like to take care of things on its own, like it's
an attack itself.
It needs a little help, it needs a little help.
So they also did a colonoscopy while I was there to rule out anything else going on that
came back normal.
So we knew it wasn't anything in my colon.
And after two days there, they said I needed surgery to remove the ruptured cyst and blood
(14:53):
that was all like sitting in there causing me pain.
So they were just kind of monitoring me.
And so a ruptured ovarian cyst means a fluid filled sac on the ovary that's burst open
and it can often cause like sudden sharp pain in the lower abdomen.
Sometimes you can have like nausea, vomiting, you can also have bleeding.
(15:15):
And ovarian cysts can kind of develop for different reasons.
And honestly, most ovarian cysts are harmless.
A cyst that ruptures sometimes may cause no symptoms at all.
Like you could have had that and you maybe didn't even know.
I have them all the time.
Yeah.
I'm very prone to cysts.
Yeah.
And they can be super mild with mild symptoms.
So a ruptured cyst that can cause mild symptoms can be kind of managed with pain medicine.
(15:40):
But in my case, it was just so painful and so severe and my body wasn't taking care of
it.
So the next safest choice was to have surgery.
So they just went in laparoscopically.
I was nervous though.
This is my very first surgery.
And I remember being like, what?
And they do like laparoscopic.
So it was just these little marks and they went in, they remove what was ruptured.
(16:04):
They took, you know, took out all the blood that was sitting in there.
So everything went really well.
I do remember though, your mom wasn't able to like be at the hospital one day.
So I filled in for backup and it's like, this is true friendship right here when you are
changing your friend's underwear and her pad in the hospital.
Yes, because I was bleeding so much.
You do have a lot of vaginal bleeding after and it's just, it was so much blood.
(16:29):
It was so much blood.
It was pretty scary.
True friendship right there.
And really I just had Sean and my parents there and you, Room.
I was so happy when you moved there for that short stint of time.
And Sean, like yes, you guys were dating for some period of time, but this was like a real
personal, not quite at the stage to have him like do something like that.
(16:50):
Exactly.
A little bit.
I mean, let's be honest.
He's still scared of blood.
He is?
It's a girl thing.
He always says he never trusts anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die.
So he has a whole issue with all of that in general.
So yes, no, we were not at the point where he was helping me in that situation.
So I have the surgery, I get out of surgery and this is kind of funny.
(17:14):
So at the time, one of Sean's best friends was getting married and Sean was in the wedding.
And this, literally I had my surgery and three days later was this wedding.
And I'm like, I can go.
I can do this.
Of course you did.
Don't cancel plans.
So I put on, I can still picture the dress I wore because I needed something where I
(17:35):
didn't sit up straight or walk straight.
I was like a little hunched over because they cut through your muscles in your stomach.
And I drove the whole crew to the wedding.
Obviously I was a sober one because I just had surgery, brought everybody.
And it was definitely an interesting night.
But hey, it just shows.
You really can do anything after surgery if you put your mind to it.
(17:59):
That's true.
So after that experience with that cyst, I've actually had cysts on my ovary that ruptured
three other times.
And I want to say most recently it was like, I think about a year ago where I had it again
happen.
So I know the pain now and all the other times that I've had it, I was able to kind of manage
(18:22):
symptoms on my own and use pain meds and then my body took care of it.
So I never needed surgery again for that.
Yeah.
Always make sure that if you are experiencing lower abdominal pain like that, if it does
get to be that serious, you do go to the hospital, the doctor.
Because even the times when I didn't need surgery, I needed IV pain meds.
(18:45):
It is painful.
So that is my story.
The joys of being a woman.
I know, right?
Right.
Yeah.
All right, well, talking about the reproductive area, let's just jump into my IVF update.
Let's do it.
(19:05):
So as we're recording this today, it is February 23rd.
So you guys won't be getting this until March 3rd.
So there'll be a few more updates coming after that.
So the last time I checked in with you guys, I was doing all my stims to kind of stimulate
(19:27):
my ovaries.
And we found out halfway through this February break that everything is good.
I had two promising follicles, which basically meant potentially two eggs.
And with my diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve, that is kind of the expectation.
(19:48):
I have two other friends who went in and they got like 20 something eggs.
I'm never going to get a number like that.
So we did our trigger shot on Wednesday night.
And Thursday night I came over for book club.
Yes.
So our egg retrieval was super, super early on Friday morning.
(20:10):
Rena is like going off right now.
She's like, this is a tough time for me too.
This is so stressful for me.
I felt the hormones.
So our egg retrieval was, we had to be at the clinic at 7 a.m. on Friday morning.
Of course, we're in the snowiest week ever.
And we had to drive to Buffalo, which is an hour and a half.
(20:30):
Terrible.
So we left at 5 a.m.
Thank God we did because it took us about two hours to get there.
I mean, the thruway, not plowed.
We were like, we hit points where there was whiteout.
It was just like a stressful drive.
So when we got there, it was so nice.
It's like a spa there.
I know I sent you the picture and you were like, oh my God, it looks nice there.
Where are you?
(20:50):
We actually, we get our own private room when you check in with like a couch and refreshments.
No, I can't drink anything because I'm going into like a surgery technically.
But visualizing like hot tea and water.
That would be nice.
No, but like because while I'm in my procedure, Anthony gets to sit in that private room like
(21:11):
and he can read his book and like he doesn't have to sit in like a waiting room with a bunch
of other people.
I love that.
I love that.
It's a special experience and it's also stressful.
A lot of emotions.
I love that you have your private room.
So the nurse comes in to like go over everything with me because it is a surgical procedure.
I do need to, I did need to be put under anesthesia.
(21:32):
So she goes over everything and she's like, well, because you only have two follicles,
we typically like to do an ultrasound to make sure you haven't ovulated yet.
Because if you've ovulated like this, we would be doing this for nothing.
Oh my God.
So both of us, I think our hearts sink to our toes.
And I was like, okay.
Did you know that?
I didn't even know that was a possibility.
(21:54):
I knew that some people ovulated through their trigger shot, but most people, like I said,
get like a huge number of eggs.
So it doesn't always matter because they haven't ovulated all of their eggs, but with me only
having two.
So she still has me do the full get up.
Like it's kind of nice there.
(22:14):
You don't have to wear like the surgical gown.
You put on this nice terry cloth robe.
I still wear my lucky egg retrieval socks, but I put like the hospital socks over them.
She still made me get the full get up.
They put me in the bed.
She has the nurse come in.
I feel like never, I was like trying to breathe.
I'm like, oh my God, please let them still be there.
Please let them still be there.
(22:34):
So she did the ultrasound and actually we saw potentially four follicles.
Wow.
So I had two other ones that grew, but they weren't like huge, huge.
So they were iffy or whatever.
So the nurse and the anesthesiologist were a husband and wife team.
Okay.
Well that's really fun.
And they were so sweet.
(22:54):
They just like, they had such a nice conversation with me.
They could tell I was nervous.
They just like kind of ease that anxiety for me.
They were so nice.
Another part of this that was a little stressful for those of you who've been avid listeners,
I talked about my IUI experience and they didn't have a positive experience.
The doctor was awful.
Well, the normal doctor at Buffalo was out.
(23:16):
No, don't tell me.
And the doctor filling in for him was the same one that did my IUI.
So I was nervous, but I went in on the hopes that he would not remember me and he clearly
did not remember me.
Oh, thank God.
So he came in and he was like, look how smiley you are.
He's like women who smile like that during an egg retrieval will always get pregnant.
(23:37):
And that's the last, then he walked out of the room and that's honestly my only interaction
with him.
I love that.
I love that.
I just love that you had like a second impression and you weren't just left with that bad taste
in your mouth from last time.
So they knocked me out when I came to, she let me like, you know, get with it a little
bit before I sit up.
And she said, you know, we were only able to get one egg.
(23:59):
So even though I had four follicles, they were only able to get one egg.
So that's kind of heartbreaking.
I mean, that's, that's a lot.
Just literally talk about putting all your eggs in one basket.
We have one, you know what I mean?
Like a lot of people get a huge number and then they have, you know, there's still a
lot of steps to wait and see.
(24:19):
So I was like, oh my God, one, what if it doesn't make it?
And they actually, they, they brought Anthony right out.
So as soon as I walked out of the procedure room, Anthony was sitting there.
They had already told him he was able to come like in the bathroom with me and help me change.
We were able to like kind of just like process that we had one egg together.
And then we had to come home that day and we, it was really exciting that we got one
(24:45):
egg at least, but the sitting there all day and then having to go to bed that night, knowing
the next day we were going to get that phone call of was the egg mature and did it fertilize?
Right.
We were like, ah, just this waiting game.
I feel like you guys are in like constant, like you get to one milestone and then it's
just waiting another phone call.
And I remember right before we were going to go to bed that night, I just, I started
(25:09):
to cry and I said to Anthony, I'm like, I'm really scared.
I was just so terrified.
So we made sure my phone was set up so that like it was on, do not disturb.
And the next, you know, Anthony stayed home with me because, you know, after a procedure
like that, I can't be alone.
I had anesthesia.
I am prone to blackouts as we talked about in the last episode and I couldn't get that
(25:31):
phone call by myself.
No, you needed to be together during that.
So the phone call came at eight 30 in the morning and the nurse was like, of course
she doesn't lead with the news.
She's like, how are you feeling?
Have you pooped yet?
I'm like, I don't want to talk about that.
I'm fine.
Tell me what about my baby.
She's like, so your egg was mature and fertilized.
(25:51):
So we have a little baby egg.
We do, so I'll tell you the next steps in a minute, but I will just say, you know, recovery
is always interesting for me with, for those of us with chronic illness, we don't always
heal in the same ways that other people do.
(26:13):
Right.
Now with this kind of procedure, typically if you have a ton of eggs, you're prone to
something called OHSS, which is ovarian hyper, you know, stimulation, your eggs, it's just crazy.
And both of my friends, I know that went through IVF had that.
I didn't have that, but I still was really sore and my stomach hasn't quite, I still
(26:34):
don't feel good.
My stomach hasn't adjusted.
I'm sore.
I'm still feeling really lightheaded and dizzy.
So just my body takes longer to recover than other people's and I don't want to rush it
because next steps will be.
So tomorrow is actually Anthony's birthday, but also the day that we're going to get our
eggs first report card.
(26:56):
I just, I love that you're getting a report card.
It's so cute.
Yeah.
So they're going to give it a grade.
And depending on that grade, if it's a good grade, we are going to move forward with preparing
my body to transfer that little guy inside of me.
So hopefully the next time that I'm able to give you guys an update, I will be able to
(27:17):
tell you that our little embryo got a good grade and we're moving forward with transfer.
This is so exciting.
So exciting.
I love it.
The little egg that could.
The little egg that could.
Oh, I love that.
I'm so happy for you guys.
And I feel like so special that tomorrow's Anthony's birthday too.
(27:38):
Also I'm a big numbers person and the fact that we found out that it was mature and fertilized
on two, two, two is a good luck sign to me.
So for sure.
For sure.
I love that.
All right.
So that's my little IVF update.
And I do want to talk about one other thing.
And this is a subject that I see coming up quite frequently.
(28:00):
And it's actually something that a lot of people say to me all the time is chronic illness
forever.
And I just want to say this.
It is not negative to assume that I'll never refer to any part of my chronic illness journey
as recovery because it's better to be realistic and live in a world where I fully accepted
(28:22):
my disability than assume I'm magically going to recover from something I've had for many
years, which there is no known cure for.
And that's really why we are doing this podcast.
We want to talk about improvements and treatments and interventions and hope.
If I were to get better, which I have had episodes of, I'll likely refer to it as remission.
(28:45):
Knowing the reality of what I live with.
So let's talk a little about the difference between acute illness and chronic illness.
And I got this information from an article called Chronic Versus Acute Medical Conditions.
What's the difference?
And it was written by the National Council on Aging.
So an acute disease, it comes on pretty rapidly and it has distinct symptoms and requires
(29:06):
urgent or short term care.
And it typically gets better once it's treated.
So example, like a broken bone from a fall or the flu.
Or even like asthma, technically.
Or even just what I talked about today.
An ovarian cyst.
Yeah.
It's acute.
It's acute.
Yes.
And a chronic condition is slower to develop.
(29:27):
It may progress over time and it may have warning signs or none at all.
And unlike acute conditions, chronic conditions cannot be cured, only controlled.
So living with a chronic illness or managing the symptoms can often be done by creating
a healthcare plan with your doctor or doctors.
And the plan can include medications, medical interventions, diet, exercise plans, and then
(29:52):
complementary treatments such as acupuncture.
Now I personally find it frustrating when someone asks me when my conditions are going
to go away or be cured.
Because they can't and they won't.
Does anybody ever say that to you?
Yeah.
Like when is your esophagus going to get better?
It's really, it is what it is.
When is celiac disease going to go away?
(30:13):
When can you eat gluten?
Right.
Actually, I do have to say that there is, I have a center for celiac research where there
is research around a pill that we could take some type of cure, but exactly, there's nothing
right now.
There's nothing.
And that's the reality of it.
And another frustrating comment is that you don't look sick.
(30:35):
That is the one I hate the most.
And we don't because those of us who live with chronic illness have most likely become
masters of masking and disguising.
And I think Sean even said that when we interviewed the guys.
He said, Lauren is the queen of masking.
Yeah.
That's what I do.
It's just how I show up.
How I look on the outside is nowhere near a reflection of how I feel on the inside.
(31:03):
I love that.
So one purpose of this podcast is to spread awareness about chronic conditions and especially
rare ones.
And maybe, just maybe one day there will be a cure or a medicine that makes life, living
life with these diseases easier.
But for now, we have to accept our reality and find ways to manage.
(31:23):
And it's helpful when people in our lives are on the same page as us.
And acceptance is hard.
I know it's hard to admit to yourself if you are the one with the chronic illness or if
you love someone with a chronic illness that they will be, you know, like, quote unquote,
sick forever.
But that's the reality of what we face.
And the faster that we can be at peace with that and accept that, the easier it is to
(31:44):
find ways to heal and thrive.
I love that so much.
She said it so perfectly.
And I'm going to pull Lauren.
Oh, tell me more.
I'm going to end my little segment here with a quote.
I love this.
And this quote is by the great Martin Luther King Jr.
We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
(32:06):
I love that.
It's so true.
And that word hope, like even when you said it, I just got like chills.
Like it's the hope that we have in our darkest moments, you know, on this roller coaster
ride with chronic illnesses.
So Room, first of all, one, I love that you threw a quote in there.
It might be my favorite part of today.
(32:27):
And you know, all of this, I feel like is so relatable and it makes so much sense.
And you know, after listening to you, I made an instant connection with a book I'm reading
right now specifically for my business.
It's called energetic selling and marketing.
I'm afraid I'm going to butcher her name.
Lenka Latonska.
Yeah, nice job.
(32:50):
Our friend Becky shared it with me and it is just such a good book.
And you know, in this book, it talks about your personal energy and how the energy you
bring to situations can have a huge impact on your growth.
And now, obviously, in this book, she focuses on applying and using your personal energy
to expand your business to the next level.
But in our case here on the podcast, it just had me thinking about our personal energy
(33:15):
in relation to chronic illnesses.
And then you know what happens, my wheels are turning.
And because like you said, most people out there aren't going to be cured.
And we can only control so much.
Don't you feel like sometimes that's like the craziest part is that you feel out of control
sometimes in those moments when you have a flare, when you have a new diagnosis, it just
(33:36):
feels like you're losing control.
But our personal energy is literally the most powerful currency on the planet.
And it is something we can control.
And I feel like when you can have some control, it almost right makes you feel a little bit
better.
And it is something you can use to soothe yourself in your darkest, scariest moments
when you feel hopeless.
(33:57):
And honestly, I've done 10 years of personal development reading courses, all the things.
You know, I'm such a sucker for all of that.
And I'm really looking forward to kind of just diving into this topic on energy in relation
to chronic illnesses in a future episode.
So something to look forward to.
Yeah, you got my wheels turning.
I'm like, oh, my brain, I have all these like it's just like you're finally connecting the
(34:20):
dots.
You know, all of this I've been doing for myself business wise, mindset wise.
It's just like, I've also been doing this in all areas of my life.
Yeah.
So stay tuned.
A little energetic situation happening in the future.
All right.
Well, that is all we've got for you guys today.
Thank you so much for listening.
We really appreciate likes, follows and reviews wherever you listen to your podcasts.
(34:45):
You can find us at I've got guts podcast on Instagram and Facebook, or you can email us
at Ivegotgutspodcasts@gmail.com.
Have a great day.
We'll see you next time.
Bye bye.
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