October 18, 2023 • 23 mins
Bold claims and shocking revelations - that's what this episode is all about. Brace yourself as we scrutinize Miss Manners’ overstepping her expertise to provide baffling HR advice, leading to a heated discussion on why professionals must stick to their forte. Witness the truth behind her erroneous advice on video conference etiquette and her disastrous suggestions on dealing with an overly perfumed co-worker. An entertaining but insightful reminder - Miss Manners, keep to your lane!
The conversation takes a turn as we delve into the profound significance of constructive feedback in the workplace, drawing inspiration from a recent outburst by Nick Saban. Distinguishing between getting chewed out and receiving constructive criticism, we explore how HR professionals navigate through situations when employees misinterpret feedback, shedding light on the need for self-awareness. As the year draws to a close, we touch upon the common yet stressful HR end-of-year updates, sprinkling in some thoughtful reflections. Tune in, learn, laugh, and think with us in this exciting episode!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Andrew Quilpa (00:02):
Had you actually read the email, you would know
that the podcast you are aboutto listen to could contain
explicit language and offensivecontent.
These HR experts' views are notrepresentative of their past,
present or future employers.
If you've ever heard my manageris unfair to me.
I need you to reset my HRportal password, or can I ride
(00:25):
up my employee for crying toomuch?
Welcome to our little safe zone.
Welcome to JDDHR.
Warren (00:48):
Welcome to JDDHR, to podcast by two HR professionals
who want to help you get throughto work day by saying all the
things you're thinking, but saythem out loud.
I'm Warren and this is Feathers.
Alrighty, so we're going to abi-weekly recording, like we
said in a previous episode.
I get this.
While you were across thecountry and I was driving back
(01:09):
from across the state, Iattempted to record a solo
episode using the app and Irecorded it and I never even got
to the point where I had it,downloaded it or started to even
try to edit it.
So I'm thinking that will be,if it turns out to be 25% decent
, that might go on our Patreonfeed for Hallie and anybody else
(01:31):
who wants to be a Patreonmember like that, just to spice
it up a little.
But yeah, I tried.
I had an article that got me alittle fired up and I've ranted
on it for a few minutes whiledriving eight hours across the
wonderful state of NorthCarolina.
So that's what I had.
As I mentioned, we are going toa bi-weekly schedule.
(01:52):
So if you missed us last week,just be looking for us to the I
guess, like November 1st.
I don't have a calendar for meSomewhere right around there.
We'll have another episode outagain, but today I've got a few
stories to share, and the firstone.
It didn't have a title or,excuse me, an author associated
(02:12):
with the article.
It came from JD Supra, a lawblog on 1013.
And it was just attributed tothe law firm of Constagde,
brooks, smith and Profeet.
I hope I'm not butchering thattoo much as the author, but they
don't like Miss Manners.
Apparently, basically, thestick of this article is for
(02:37):
Miss Manners to stay in her lanebecause recently she's been
giving some HR advice to some ofher readers or writers or
whatever you would call them.
Yeah, so they gave a fewexamples here.
So one of the opening lines ofthe blog is gentle readers of
(02:58):
this blog, please do not takeyour employment law advice from
Miss Manners.
Here's the proof, exhibit A.
Miss Manners states it is rudeto have your camera off during a
video conference.
And the writer went on and justbutchered that.
One line I took out of it wasMiss Manners said the letter
(03:19):
writer should clearlycommunicate which meetings
required on-camera presence andwhich did not.
Okay, then she said some peoplemight not come on camera even
after being asked to do so, true?
Then she said that peopleshould explain why they were off
camera, and that wasdisrespectful for someone to
explain that they weren't oncamera because I don't wish you
to see me in my curlers.
(03:39):
And then she wrote people stillwear curlers, but I don't have
that problem.
So exhibit B.
But they did talk about someADA issues.
You know, someone who may behard of hearing needs to read
the lips and that's obviously anexception, but, just generally
speaking, not a problem withmust-be-on camera To be.
(04:05):
How do I deal with a co-workerwhose perfume gives me an asthma
attack and seizures?
And this time the letter writer, who worked in a mental health
facility, had asthma that wastriggered by strong fragrances.
She was fine with most of herco-workers and patients, but
there was one therapist who worestrong, obnoxious, heavy
perfume that the letter writerwas afraid was going to cause
(04:27):
her to have an asthma attack,which sometimes in turn caused
her to have seizures.
In addition, the letter writerhad visual impairment and could
not always see the therapistcoming.
Her aroma preceded her, if youcatch my drift.
The letter writer asked what todo, and this is so funny the
odor issues and the.
(04:47):
It's a typical HR issue, butMiss Manners did indeed butcher
this.
Miss Manners advised the letterwriter to talk directly to the
therapist and they say badadvice number one.
And to lie to the therapist,bad advice number two.
She said to tell the therapistthat patients had complained
about her perfume.
Then Miss Manners said thiswill make it a question of
(05:10):
patient care and not of herpotentially putting you in a
hospital.
Okay, miss Manners, are theyright?
And then the letter writer getsfired after someone of
authority finds out that she wasreporting bogus complaints from
mental health patients.
Great solution, why didn't Ithink of that?
But it gets worse.
Miss Manners understands thatthis technique will not help
(05:32):
people who do not have patients,customers or innocent people to
target in this way.
But the basic idea to shiftblame of the perfume to the
reaction.
So that's it, and basically itends with staying your fucking
lane, miss Manners.
They write Miss Manners, if youstop giving employment law
advice, I'll stop giving adviceon how to use a dessert fork.
(05:54):
So if you're going to MissManners, which one's the dessert
fork?
I?
Feathers (06:02):
think it's the one on top of the top.
Andrew Quilpa (06:03):
Yeah, that's what I was going to say I think it's
the one on top the smallest one.
Warren (06:07):
Yeah, the smallest fork.
See, we have cooth.
We know the right forks, areyou sure I know us.
Feathers (06:18):
I know us, at least I know me pretty well.
Warren (06:22):
Yeah, that's a debatable topic, but I don't have I don't
go to bougie restaurants likethat where they have multiple
things.
Honestly, I don't go out to eatmuch anymore.
Anyway, I feel I can cook moreand I can cook better myself.
Then I get it 90% ofrestaurants.
I don't want to wait or pay anexcessive fee for a quote.
Unquote good restaurant.
Feathers (06:44):
So Well, it's not my restaurants.
Really quickly, I had somethinginteresting happen to me
yesterday.
Warren (06:49):
Was it.
Feathers (06:49):
Chipotle?
Oh no, it was not Chipotle.
I saw some family members thatI haven't seen about 14, 15
years, oh boy, and they weretelling me as we ate lunch
yesterday it was the first timethey've eaten indoors since the
pandemic.
Wow.
Warren (07:07):
Are they from a more heavily stricken area?
Feathers (07:11):
Go ahead and say what state, what's our favorite state
?
Oh?
Warren (07:14):
favorite state?
Is it a?
Feathers (07:19):
new Jersey no, that's one.
New York Nope, that's two.
Come on, oh, fucking California, California, okay, california.
Warren (07:27):
Yeah, I remember the meme in California they couldn't
eat inside but they put theselike plastic tents over tables
on the outside, on the patio,that you could eat in because
you were outside, even thoughyou were fully covered in the
tent.
That was too much, butunfortunately COVID's making its
presence known again doesn'tseem to be as awful as it was.
(07:51):
But it's on the comeback.
Feathers (07:55):
Just in time for a 19th booster.
Warren (07:59):
I gave up on the boosters a while ago, anyways,
so this one-.
Feathers (08:05):
You're like your annual flu shot, get your
booster.
Warren (08:08):
Yeah, I'll be getting that shortly, actually.
So this comes to us.
The story comes to us fromMorgan Smith on CNN, their
section called Make it.
It's dated October 16th and notall career advice is good
advice.
I meant to start off by sayingthis is not too jaded.
It's actually something I'vepreached to my children all the
(08:32):
time and it's actually reallygood, in my opinion, employment
advice.
But anyways, the old sayingsays if you find something you
love, you'll never work a day inyour life, and it goes on to
say that creates a yeah, if youfind something you love, like a
winning lottery ticket for $2billion you'll never work a day
in your life, but basicallyyou'll have a dream job.
(08:56):
It's stress-free andda-da-da-da-da.
But Tiffany Boyd, who'sMcDonald's Senior Vice President
and Chief People Officer in theUnited States, tells people to
ignore that advice.
She says people always say whatdo you want to do in your
career, but if you get anopportunity, she says that's not
your dream job.
You'd be surprised how manydoors it can open for your
(09:16):
career, whether it's learningnew skills, exploring a new city
, meeting someone new whobecomes a mentor.
It gives all these things thatcan happen just by saying yes.
And she goes on to say well,how do you decide whether a job
is worth taking?
Stereotypical pros, cons,things.
But she does say if this jobwould create havoc when your
(09:36):
finances, personal relationshipsor mental health, it's never
worth it.
But if those aren't issuesthose issues aren't present in
the job offers growthopportunities.
You can level up your career.
You should at least give it ashot.
Nothing has to be forever, butyou might surprise yourself and
find something you love orreally good at.
But you never know unless youtake a chance.
Feathers (09:56):
And it goes back.
Sounds like advice on love younever know until you take a
chance.
Warren (10:02):
This season on the Bachelor.
Feathers (10:04):
What was that Abba song?
Take a chance on me.
Warren (10:06):
Oh gosh, Da da da, da, da, da, da, da da.
Yeah, okay, I'm here for that.
I know that too well.
Feathers (10:15):
Unfortunately, I'm just a sidekick here, folks just
a sidekick.
Warren (10:19):
You trigger me, it's not .
Feathers (10:21):
you complete me you trigger, me you trigger me yeah
but no.
Warren (10:27):
This is advice I've told my kids Don't say no unless
it's something illegal, immoral,abhorrent in some way, shape or
form.
Don't say no.
Get opportunities by saying yes.
I'll give a personal example,without getting too specific.
I was in a situation lookingfor a job and a situation came
up with a company I was notthrilled about joining and yet I
(10:52):
thoroughly enjoyed it.
I learned it and I originallythought this would be a
temporary landing spot for me onmy next thing and I ended up
being there for some time.
But if I didn't say yes and Iwasn't in a position to say no
at that time, too much.
But it does work out.
You say yes and, like I said,unless it's illegal, immoral, if
(11:14):
you're looking for a job, hey,this might not be ideal, but
let's see what it's got and ifsomething better pops up.
People walk each and every day.
So crazy stuff.
But-.
My next story is really really.
I read it this morning actually, and I had to throw it in here.
(11:35):
This comes to us from the BBCand the.
The writer is dear bail Jordan,but they wrote on October 16th
and I'll just give the readersdigest version of it the the
short attention span theater,which is my mind.
This person whose first name Iwould never be able to pronounce
(11:56):
, but the last name is, Ibelieve, fecatee.
They worked at Citibank forseven years as a financial crime
analyst.
I think that's very importantfor the story.
He's a financial crime analyst.
He was fired and, as the Britswould say, sacked After
submitting receipts for twomeals on two days that were
(12:16):
quote-unquote fraudulent.
On day one, he ordered twosandwiches and two coffees.
On day two, he ordered and I'mgonna butcher some words here
pasta, pesto and blood,bolognese, baldi and yay sauce.
There we go.
Yeah, I'm not gonna crack you.
Feathers (12:35):
I'm just gonna leave it like that and hope somebody's
right now going.
Warren (12:41):
There you go.
What a fucking idiot.
Yeah, I see I can say the wordif I'm not reading it.
If I'm reading it, it's like ILike I can sure.
Yeah, reading is hard.
Feathers (12:55):
Institution of higher knowledge so.
Warren (12:59):
Yes, I did.
But he the the sort of want tosay that Citibank gives him I
guess it's sort of like a perdiem of a hundred pounds a day
For allowance for expenses.
So upon return, his managerasked him about his receipts and
Mr Fakete said I was on thebusiness trip by myself and I
(13:20):
had two coffees because theywere very small.
He further stated on that day Iskipped breakfast, I only had
one coffee in the morning andfor lunch I had one sandwich and
a drink and a coffee in therestaurant.
I took another coffee back tothe office with me in a second
sandwich in the afternoon, whichalso served as my dinner.
The Person who got fired toldcity all my expenses were thin,
(13:43):
the hundred pound dailyallowance.
If you could please outlinewhat your concern is.
I don't think I have to justifymy eating habits to this extent
.
But it goes further.
Citibank escalated the mannerto matter to its security
investigation department, whichalso questioned mr Fakete about
whether he had shared the mealpasta pesto in Bolognese with
(14:06):
his partner, to which he repliedno.
So he ended up getting firedover a Sandwich, a coffee and a
shared pasta dish.
The judge in Great Britain wroteI found that this case is not
about the sums of the moneyinvolved.
The case is about the filing ofexpenses and the claim of the
conduct.
(14:26):
Expense claim and the conductthereafter.
It is significant that theclaimant did not make any full
and frank disclosure at thefirst opportunity and he did not
answer questions directly.
The judge added the claimantwas employed in a position of
trust in a global financialinstitution.
I'm very satisfied.
Even with the expense claim hadbeen filed under a
(14:48):
misunderstanding, there was anobligation upon the claimant to
throw up and rectify thisposition at the first
opportunity.
I accept the respondentrequired a commitment of honesty
from its employees.
So a Sandwich, a coffee andSome Bolognese sauce, so that
was cost the student's job.
(15:08):
But I I Do agree with the judgethat in it, if you're a
financial Investigator, inyou're doing things like that,
what, what are you letting go by?
What do you also consideracceptable when you're working
at a financial institution?
So I think that that plays apart in it.
You know, I don't know.
(15:29):
I asked once earlier this yearactually accidentally used my
company credit card to buysomething personal and I
realized as soon as I pulled itout, a little credit card
machine.
I was like, oh shit, you know.
And I was like, can you cancelthat, cancel that order?
Nope, it's gone.
And I was like, so, anyways,that that was interesting.
But, and the first thing I did,I went straight to work to my
(15:49):
boss.
Hey, I was not paying attention.
I was on the phone.
Da, da, da, da put my phone, mythe wrong card, in the machine
and was not even payingattention.
So, hey, certain positions youget.
I also think if he had just notlied, oh yeah, my wife came with
me and we shared a coffee orwhatever, and we shared
(16:10):
breakfast, lunch, whatever thisis, and things like that.
So I Am going to try, let's seeif I can do this On the phone.
We use old-school recording soyou can hear this.
I'm gonna pull this up on myphone and then Edit it into the
software, like we did that onetime.
I let's see if I can get this.
And I'm sure every HR personhas had the claim.
(16:37):
My boss is yelling andscreaming at me and being rude
to me.
I'm getting chewed out by myboss.
Basically, that's sort of thelong and short story of it.
I'm singing to myself theYou're welcome.
Terry Arnold (16:54):
Let's see if I can pull this up, but he's going to
give it to somebody.
Hey, there I'm like, oh, oh, oh, it's me.
So when he was saying that, Imean he was telling me the time
of the blitz on the motion, andI know y'all seen like how many
times I had to tell you, youknow the word.
But when he said that, it waskind of like one of those things
that you just have to not hearhow he's saying it, but you have
to hear what he's saying.
(17:15):
And I miss another thing whenyou look at it, as far as never
knowing the cameras on you andbeing coachable, and I feel,
like the relationship that Ihave with him, he knows that I
could take coaching like thatand it's hard coaching and when
you choose to come here, younever know when he could chew
you out, like people always sayyou should be worried when he's
not saying something.
Warren (17:32):
So that is Terry Arnold place for Alabama.
Love Alabama or hate him.
Love Nick Saban or hate him.
He's talking about Nick Sabanand Nick Saban got.
There was a lot of social mediainterest.
He comes off the field and NickSaban is just honestly losing
(17:53):
his shit at this kid and he isliterally getting chewed out.
I don't know how many times hisHR person oh my bosses, chewed
me up Now.
I was like right there I sawthat that's not chewing out or
anything, and I think thatthat's.
The kid has a great possibilityand I think this is also
another example.
I think student athletes orathletes in general make great
(18:14):
employees because they know thedifference between truly getting
chewed out or just being havingconstructive criticism.
And this article comes to usfrom Karen Michael in the
Richmond Times Dispatch onOctober 15th, so I'm going to
this is her LinkedIn post aboutthe article and we'll just go
read the entire thing.
(18:35):
Imagine a college student beingmore mature than 99% of
employees who get hard coachingor any constructive feedback at
all.
No employee should ever bechewed out or yelled out, ever.
It is.
It's not acceptable to be in anenvironment of fear, but
employees are quite soft thesedays and tend to see people, but
(18:56):
employees are quite soft thesedays and I see too many people
that claim hostile environmentwhen in fact the employee needs
to look in the mirror.
The employee received acoaching or warning because the
employee's not doing what needsto be done in the moment.
The coaching and discipline isa gift.
The manager cares enough aboutthe employee's career that the
manager is willing to spend afew minutes to let that employee
know that he or she is doing.
(19:18):
What he or she is doing in themoment is not going to help them
be successful.
Unfortunately, that's not howmost employees see it.
The man should teach amasterclass on maturity and
receiving feedback.
And yeah, if you saw the videoclip Nick Saban is laying into
this kid, it was on SportsCenter and it's drawn like the
social media.
(19:38):
I always saw me Nick Saban somean to this kid and the kid's
like hey, I didn't pay attentionto whatever Blitz package was
at me or whatever.
I don't know what the situationwas, but he ate his lunch and I
know it does happen in theprofessional environment.
I know that there are employerswho yell and scream and throw
(20:02):
hissy fits, but the manager youknow.
But when the manager's justgiving you constructive feedback
and you think they're chewingyou out.
No, and I recently had someonetalking about a manager chewing
them out.
I know that manager very well.
I would be hard pressed to seethat manager chew anybody out
(20:22):
for anything.
It would probably give you good, constructive criticism but not
chew out.
So, yeah, that's something wehave to deal with in HR all the
time.
Manager hurt my feelings.
And if this kid's feelingsaren't hurt after after that
Nick Saban rant, then hey, goodfor him.
So those are all the thingsthat I lined up for today.
(20:48):
Anything fun, interesting goingon in your HR world.
Feathers (20:59):
No, I'm either extra jaded right now or it's end of
the year.
Stress is starting, so you nameit like oh yay, open
enrollment's coming up, and thenNot there yet and the reviews
will be starting and this willbe.
Warren (21:16):
We're there yeah so I don't want to jinx myself, but
this year our annual review isgoing.
Terry Arnold (21:25):
I'm not going to say it but it's going Just stop.
Feathers (21:27):
Just stop, yeah, just stop, yeah.
I'm going to stop before I ruinit.
It's not worth it, just stop.
Warren (21:32):
I ran some reports just this morning and I was shocked,
and in a good way.
So when the HR person isshocked in a good way, that's
something.
So, but anyways, that's allI've got for you today.
I want to thank Andrew Copa,the voice of our disclaimer at
(21:52):
the beginning, and theunderscore orchestra for the use
of their music Double thedouble for intro and outro music
.
Our best practice for the dayis Learn the difference between
getting chewed out and gettingconstructive criticism, and
dammit mismaners stay in yourlane.
Feathers (22:12):
So Makes you know which one.
The salad fork is Not even thedesert Salad fork is the most
important.
Warren (22:21):
No, I think you start on the outside and you work your
way in, and then the dessertfork is the one on top.
Feathers (22:28):
You're so connected, you just go.
Warren (22:29):
So much for those comments, just yeah, but anyway,
as always, I'm Warren.
Feathers (22:37):
And sometimes I'm feathers, I don't know.
Warren (22:40):
And we're here helping you survive.
Hr 1.
What the fuck woman At a time.
Had you actually read the email, you would know
that the podcast you are aboutto listen to could contain
explicit language and offensivecontent.
These HR experts' views are notrepresentative of their past,
present or future employers.
If you've ever heard my manageris unfair to me.
I need you to reset my HRportal password, or can I ride
(00:25):
up my employee for crying toomuch?
Welcome to our little safe zone.
Welcome to JDDHR.
Warren (00:48):
Welcome to JDDHR, to podcast by two HR professionals
who want to help you get throughto work day by saying all the
things you're thinking, but saythem out loud.
I'm Warren and this is Feathers.
Alrighty, so we're going to abi-weekly recording, like we
said in a previous episode.
I get this.
While you were across thecountry and I was driving back
(01:09):
from across the state, Iattempted to record a solo
episode using the app and Irecorded it and I never even got
to the point where I had it,downloaded it or started to even
try to edit it.
So I'm thinking that will be,if it turns out to be 25% decent
, that might go on our Patreonfeed for Hallie and anybody else
(01:31):
who wants to be a Patreonmember like that, just to spice
it up a little.
But yeah, I tried.
I had an article that got me alittle fired up and I've ranted
on it for a few minutes whiledriving eight hours across the
wonderful state of NorthCarolina.
So that's what I had.
As I mentioned, we are going toa bi-weekly schedule.
(01:52):
So if you missed us last week,just be looking for us to the I
guess, like November 1st.
I don't have a calendar for meSomewhere right around there.
We'll have another episode outagain, but today I've got a few
stories to share, and the firstone.
It didn't have a title or,excuse me, an author associated
(02:12):
with the article.
It came from JD Supra, a lawblog on 1013.
And it was just attributed tothe law firm of Constagde,
brooks, smith and Profeet.
I hope I'm not butchering thattoo much as the author, but they
don't like Miss Manners.
Apparently, basically, thestick of this article is for
(02:37):
Miss Manners to stay in her lanebecause recently she's been
giving some HR advice to some ofher readers or writers or
whatever you would call them.
Yeah, so they gave a fewexamples here.
So one of the opening lines ofthe blog is gentle readers of
(02:58):
this blog, please do not takeyour employment law advice from
Miss Manners.
Here's the proof, exhibit A.
Miss Manners states it is rudeto have your camera off during a
video conference.
And the writer went on and justbutchered that.
One line I took out of it wasMiss Manners said the letter
(03:19):
writer should clearlycommunicate which meetings
required on-camera presence andwhich did not.
Okay, then she said some peoplemight not come on camera even
after being asked to do so, true?
Then she said that peopleshould explain why they were off
camera, and that wasdisrespectful for someone to
explain that they weren't oncamera because I don't wish you
to see me in my curlers.
(03:39):
And then she wrote people stillwear curlers, but I don't have
that problem.
So exhibit B.
But they did talk about someADA issues.
You know, someone who may behard of hearing needs to read
the lips and that's obviously anexception, but, just generally
speaking, not a problem withmust-be-on camera To be.
(04:05):
How do I deal with a co-workerwhose perfume gives me an asthma
attack and seizures?
And this time the letter writer, who worked in a mental health
facility, had asthma that wastriggered by strong fragrances.
She was fine with most of herco-workers and patients, but
there was one therapist who worestrong, obnoxious, heavy
perfume that the letter writerwas afraid was going to cause
(04:27):
her to have an asthma attack,which sometimes in turn caused
her to have seizures.
In addition, the letter writerhad visual impairment and could
not always see the therapistcoming.
Her aroma preceded her, if youcatch my drift.
The letter writer asked what todo, and this is so funny the
odor issues and the.
(04:47):
It's a typical HR issue, butMiss Manners did indeed butcher
this.
Miss Manners advised the letterwriter to talk directly to the
therapist and they say badadvice number one.
And to lie to the therapist,bad advice number two.
She said to tell the therapistthat patients had complained
about her perfume.
Then Miss Manners said thiswill make it a question of
(05:10):
patient care and not of herpotentially putting you in a
hospital.
Okay, miss Manners, are theyright?
And then the letter writer getsfired after someone of
authority finds out that she wasreporting bogus complaints from
mental health patients.
Great solution, why didn't Ithink of that?
But it gets worse.
Miss Manners understands thatthis technique will not help
(05:32):
people who do not have patients,customers or innocent people to
target in this way.
But the basic idea to shiftblame of the perfume to the
reaction.
So that's it, and basically itends with staying your fucking
lane, miss Manners.
They write Miss Manners, if youstop giving employment law
advice, I'll stop giving adviceon how to use a dessert fork.
(05:54):
So if you're going to MissManners, which one's the dessert
fork?
I?
Feathers (06:02):
think it's the one on top of the top.
Andrew Quilpa (06:03):
Yeah, that's what I was going to say I think it's
the one on top the smallest one.
Warren (06:07):
Yeah, the smallest fork.
See, we have cooth.
We know the right forks, areyou sure I know us.
Feathers (06:18):
I know us, at least I know me pretty well.
Warren (06:22):
Yeah, that's a debatable topic, but I don't have I don't
go to bougie restaurants likethat where they have multiple
things.
Honestly, I don't go out to eatmuch anymore.
Anyway, I feel I can cook moreand I can cook better myself.
Then I get it 90% ofrestaurants.
I don't want to wait or pay anexcessive fee for a quote.
Unquote good restaurant.
Feathers (06:44):
So Well, it's not my restaurants.
Really quickly, I had somethinginteresting happen to me
yesterday.
Warren (06:49):
Was it.
Feathers (06:49):
Chipotle?
Oh no, it was not Chipotle.
I saw some family members thatI haven't seen about 14, 15
years, oh boy, and they weretelling me as we ate lunch
yesterday it was the first timethey've eaten indoors since the
pandemic.
Wow.
Warren (07:07):
Are they from a more heavily stricken area?
Feathers (07:11):
Go ahead and say what state, what's our favorite state
?
Oh?
Warren (07:14):
favorite state?
Is it a?
Feathers (07:19):
new Jersey no, that's one.
New York Nope, that's two.
Come on, oh, fucking California, California, okay, california.
Warren (07:27):
Yeah, I remember the meme in California they couldn't
eat inside but they put theselike plastic tents over tables
on the outside, on the patio,that you could eat in because
you were outside, even thoughyou were fully covered in the
tent.
That was too much, butunfortunately COVID's making its
presence known again doesn'tseem to be as awful as it was.
(07:51):
But it's on the comeback.
Feathers (07:55):
Just in time for a 19th booster.
Warren (07:59):
I gave up on the boosters a while ago, anyways,
so this one-.
Feathers (08:05):
You're like your annual flu shot, get your
booster.
Warren (08:08):
Yeah, I'll be getting that shortly, actually.
So this comes to us.
The story comes to us fromMorgan Smith on CNN, their
section called Make it.
It's dated October 16th and notall career advice is good
advice.
I meant to start off by sayingthis is not too jaded.
It's actually something I'vepreached to my children all the
(08:32):
time and it's actually reallygood, in my opinion, employment
advice.
But anyways, the old sayingsays if you find something you
love, you'll never work a day inyour life, and it goes on to
say that creates a yeah, if youfind something you love, like a
winning lottery ticket for $2billion you'll never work a day
in your life, but basicallyyou'll have a dream job.
(08:56):
It's stress-free andda-da-da-da-da.
But Tiffany Boyd, who'sMcDonald's Senior Vice President
and Chief People Officer in theUnited States, tells people to
ignore that advice.
She says people always say whatdo you want to do in your
career, but if you get anopportunity, she says that's not
your dream job.
You'd be surprised how manydoors it can open for your
(09:16):
career, whether it's learningnew skills, exploring a new city
, meeting someone new whobecomes a mentor.
It gives all these things thatcan happen just by saying yes.
And she goes on to say well,how do you decide whether a job
is worth taking?
Stereotypical pros, cons,things.
But she does say if this jobwould create havoc when your
(09:36):
finances, personal relationshipsor mental health, it's never
worth it.
But if those aren't issuesthose issues aren't present in
the job offers growthopportunities.
You can level up your career.
You should at least give it ashot.
Nothing has to be forever, butyou might surprise yourself and
find something you love orreally good at.
But you never know unless youtake a chance.
Feathers (09:56):
And it goes back.
Sounds like advice on love younever know until you take a
chance.
Warren (10:02):
This season on the Bachelor.
Feathers (10:04):
What was that Abba song?
Take a chance on me.
Warren (10:06):
Oh gosh, Da da da, da, da, da, da, da da.
Yeah, okay, I'm here for that.
I know that too well.
Feathers (10:15):
Unfortunately, I'm just a sidekick here, folks just
a sidekick.
Warren (10:19):
You trigger me, it's not .
Feathers (10:21):
you complete me you trigger, me you trigger me yeah
but no.
Warren (10:27):
This is advice I've told my kids Don't say no unless
it's something illegal, immoral,abhorrent in some way, shape or
form.
Don't say no.
Get opportunities by saying yes.
I'll give a personal example,without getting too specific.
I was in a situation lookingfor a job and a situation came
up with a company I was notthrilled about joining and yet I
(10:52):
thoroughly enjoyed it.
I learned it and I originallythought this would be a
temporary landing spot for me onmy next thing and I ended up
being there for some time.
But if I didn't say yes and Iwasn't in a position to say no
at that time, too much.
But it does work out.
You say yes and, like I said,unless it's illegal, immoral, if
(11:14):
you're looking for a job, hey,this might not be ideal, but
let's see what it's got and ifsomething better pops up.
People walk each and every day.
So crazy stuff.
But-.
My next story is really really.
I read it this morning actually, and I had to throw it in here.
(11:35):
This comes to us from the BBCand the.
The writer is dear bail Jordan,but they wrote on October 16th
and I'll just give the readersdigest version of it the the
short attention span theater,which is my mind.
This person whose first name Iwould never be able to pronounce
(11:56):
, but the last name is, Ibelieve, fecatee.
They worked at Citibank forseven years as a financial crime
analyst.
I think that's very importantfor the story.
He's a financial crime analyst.
He was fired and, as the Britswould say, sacked After
submitting receipts for twomeals on two days that were
(12:16):
quote-unquote fraudulent.
On day one, he ordered twosandwiches and two coffees.
On day two, he ordered and I'mgonna butcher some words here
pasta, pesto and blood,bolognese, baldi and yay sauce.
There we go.
Yeah, I'm not gonna crack you.
Feathers (12:35):
I'm just gonna leave it like that and hope somebody's
right now going.
Warren (12:41):
There you go.
What a fucking idiot.
Yeah, I see I can say the wordif I'm not reading it.
If I'm reading it, it's like ILike I can sure.
Yeah, reading is hard.
Feathers (12:55):
Institution of higher knowledge so.
Warren (12:59):
Yes, I did.
But he the the sort of want tosay that Citibank gives him I
guess it's sort of like a perdiem of a hundred pounds a day
For allowance for expenses.
So upon return, his managerasked him about his receipts and
Mr Fakete said I was on thebusiness trip by myself and I
(13:20):
had two coffees because theywere very small.
He further stated on that day Iskipped breakfast, I only had
one coffee in the morning andfor lunch I had one sandwich and
a drink and a coffee in therestaurant.
I took another coffee back tothe office with me in a second
sandwich in the afternoon, whichalso served as my dinner.
The Person who got fired toldcity all my expenses were thin,
(13:43):
the hundred pound dailyallowance.
If you could please outlinewhat your concern is.
I don't think I have to justifymy eating habits to this extent
.
But it goes further.
Citibank escalated the mannerto matter to its security
investigation department, whichalso questioned mr Fakete about
whether he had shared the mealpasta pesto in Bolognese with
(14:06):
his partner, to which he repliedno.
So he ended up getting firedover a Sandwich, a coffee and a
shared pasta dish.
The judge in Great Britain wroteI found that this case is not
about the sums of the moneyinvolved.
The case is about the filing ofexpenses and the claim of the
conduct.
(14:26):
Expense claim and the conductthereafter.
It is significant that theclaimant did not make any full
and frank disclosure at thefirst opportunity and he did not
answer questions directly.
The judge added the claimantwas employed in a position of
trust in a global financialinstitution.
I'm very satisfied.
Even with the expense claim hadbeen filed under a
(14:48):
misunderstanding, there was anobligation upon the claimant to
throw up and rectify thisposition at the first
opportunity.
I accept the respondentrequired a commitment of honesty
from its employees.
So a Sandwich, a coffee andSome Bolognese sauce, so that
was cost the student's job.
(15:08):
But I I Do agree with the judgethat in it, if you're a
financial Investigator, inyou're doing things like that,
what, what are you letting go by?
What do you also consideracceptable when you're working
at a financial institution?
So I think that that plays apart in it.
You know, I don't know.
(15:29):
I asked once earlier this yearactually accidentally used my
company credit card to buysomething personal and I
realized as soon as I pulled itout, a little credit card
machine.
I was like, oh shit, you know.
And I was like, can you cancelthat, cancel that order?
Nope, it's gone.
And I was like, so, anyways,that that was interesting.
But, and the first thing I did,I went straight to work to my
(15:49):
boss.
Hey, I was not paying attention.
I was on the phone.
Da, da, da, da put my phone, mythe wrong card, in the machine
and was not even payingattention.
So, hey, certain positions youget.
I also think if he had just notlied, oh yeah, my wife came with
me and we shared a coffee orwhatever, and we shared
(16:10):
breakfast, lunch, whatever thisis, and things like that.
So I Am going to try, let's seeif I can do this On the phone.
We use old-school recording soyou can hear this.
I'm gonna pull this up on myphone and then Edit it into the
software, like we did that onetime.
I let's see if I can get this.
And I'm sure every HR personhas had the claim.
(16:37):
My boss is yelling andscreaming at me and being rude
to me.
I'm getting chewed out by myboss.
Basically, that's sort of thelong and short story of it.
I'm singing to myself theYou're welcome.
Terry Arnold (16:54):
Let's see if I can pull this up, but he's going to
give it to somebody.
Hey, there I'm like, oh, oh, oh, it's me.
So when he was saying that, Imean he was telling me the time
of the blitz on the motion, andI know y'all seen like how many
times I had to tell you, youknow the word.
But when he said that, it waskind of like one of those things
that you just have to not hearhow he's saying it, but you have
to hear what he's saying.
(17:15):
And I miss another thing whenyou look at it, as far as never
knowing the cameras on you andbeing coachable, and I feel,
like the relationship that Ihave with him, he knows that I
could take coaching like thatand it's hard coaching and when
you choose to come here, younever know when he could chew
you out, like people always sayyou should be worried when he's
not saying something.
Warren (17:32):
So that is Terry Arnold place for Alabama.
Love Alabama or hate him.
Love Nick Saban or hate him.
He's talking about Nick Sabanand Nick Saban got.
There was a lot of social mediainterest.
He comes off the field and NickSaban is just honestly losing
(17:53):
his shit at this kid and he isliterally getting chewed out.
I don't know how many times hisHR person oh my bosses, chewed
me up Now.
I was like right there I sawthat that's not chewing out or
anything, and I think thatthat's.
The kid has a great possibilityand I think this is also
another example.
I think student athletes orathletes in general make great
(18:14):
employees because they know thedifference between truly getting
chewed out or just being havingconstructive criticism.
And this article comes to usfrom Karen Michael in the
Richmond Times Dispatch onOctober 15th, so I'm going to
this is her LinkedIn post aboutthe article and we'll just go
read the entire thing.
(18:35):
Imagine a college student beingmore mature than 99% of
employees who get hard coachingor any constructive feedback at
all.
No employee should ever bechewed out or yelled out, ever.
It is.
It's not acceptable to be in anenvironment of fear, but
employees are quite soft thesedays and tend to see people, but
(18:56):
employees are quite soft thesedays and I see too many people
that claim hostile environmentwhen in fact the employee needs
to look in the mirror.
The employee received acoaching or warning because the
employee's not doing what needsto be done in the moment.
The coaching and discipline isa gift.
The manager cares enough aboutthe employee's career that the
manager is willing to spend afew minutes to let that employee
know that he or she is doing.
(19:18):
What he or she is doing in themoment is not going to help them
be successful.
Unfortunately, that's not howmost employees see it.
The man should teach amasterclass on maturity and
receiving feedback.
And yeah, if you saw the videoclip Nick Saban is laying into
this kid, it was on SportsCenter and it's drawn like the
social media.
(19:38):
I always saw me Nick Saban somean to this kid and the kid's
like hey, I didn't pay attentionto whatever Blitz package was
at me or whatever.
I don't know what the situationwas, but he ate his lunch and I
know it does happen in theprofessional environment.
I know that there are employerswho yell and scream and throw
(20:02):
hissy fits, but the manager youknow.
But when the manager's justgiving you constructive feedback
and you think they're chewingyou out.
No, and I recently had someonetalking about a manager chewing
them out.
I know that manager very well.
I would be hard pressed to seethat manager chew anybody out
(20:22):
for anything.
It would probably give you good, constructive criticism but not
chew out.
So, yeah, that's something wehave to deal with in HR all the
time.
Manager hurt my feelings.
And if this kid's feelingsaren't hurt after after that
Nick Saban rant, then hey, goodfor him.
So those are all the thingsthat I lined up for today.
(20:48):
Anything fun, interesting goingon in your HR world.
Feathers (20:59):
No, I'm either extra jaded right now or it's end of
the year.
Stress is starting, so you nameit like oh yay, open
enrollment's coming up, and thenNot there yet and the reviews
will be starting and this willbe.
Warren (21:16):
We're there yeah so I don't want to jinx myself, but
this year our annual review isgoing.
Terry Arnold (21:25):
I'm not going to say it but it's going Just stop.
Feathers (21:27):
Just stop, yeah, just stop, yeah.
I'm going to stop before I ruinit.
It's not worth it, just stop.
Warren (21:32):
I ran some reports just this morning and I was shocked,
and in a good way.
So when the HR person isshocked in a good way, that's
something.
So, but anyways, that's allI've got for you today.
I want to thank Andrew Copa,the voice of our disclaimer at
(21:52):
the beginning, and theunderscore orchestra for the use
of their music Double thedouble for intro and outro music
.
Our best practice for the dayis Learn the difference between
getting chewed out and gettingconstructive criticism, and
dammit mismaners stay in yourlane.
Feathers (22:12):
So Makes you know which one.
The salad fork is Not even thedesert Salad fork is the most
important.
Warren (22:21):
No, I think you start on the outside and you work your
way in, and then the dessertfork is the one on top.
Feathers (22:28):
You're so connected, you just go.
Warren (22:29):
So much for those comments, just yeah, but anyway,
as always, I'm Warren.
Feathers (22:37):
And sometimes I'm feathers, I don't know.
Warren (22:40):
And we're here helping you survive.
Hr 1.
What the fuck woman At a time.
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