Celebrate our fourth trip around the sun with us, as CeeCee and Patrick step into the guest spotlight to mark this podcast milestone. They're not just here to share the cake; they're diving headfirst into your AMA questions, while I tackle the conundrum of platform migration in the wake of Google Podcasts' exit. We've found new homes for our episodes on Pocket Casts and Overcast, and in the spirit of our anniversary, we're reminiscing about the journey so far. From sharing HR horror stories to the ethical tightropes we've walked, this special episode is a mixtape of laughter, learning, and the occasional office poltergeist.
Have you ever considered what HR would do if faced with the supernatural or the downright bizarre? We’ve got that covered, along with tackling the delicate matter of company cultures that blur the line between personal beliefs and professional conduct. It's a spirited debate that's both eerie and enlightening, with a side of cult psychology. And because it wouldn't be a true HR party without a few cringe-worthy anecdotes, we'll serve you the quirkiest, like the eternal confusion over flags and the peculiar challenges that can arise from the most unsuspecting of places–the office bathroom.
As we peer into HR's crystal ball, we imagine the tech advancements that will shape our field, playfully wishing for an HR system with the power to compel employees to actually read their emails. But it’s not just tech on the horizon; it’s the human moments that make our work worthwhile. Whether it's knowing when to pack up your cubicle for greener pastures or navigating the quirky trials that come with the HR territory, we're here to share those stories. So grab your headphones, and let's jump into another season brimming with insight, humor, and a commitment to keeping you entertained through every HR conundrum.
We want to hear from you.
Text us or leave a voicemail (252) 564-9899
email: feedback@jadedhr.com
Want to:
* Share a dumb employee question
* Share a crazy story
* Ask us a question
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Please leave a review on your favorite podcast player and interact with us online!
Linktree - https://linktr.ee/jadedhr
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Andrew Quilpa (00:02):
Had you actually read the email, you would know
that the podcast you are aboutto listen to could contain
explicit language and offensivecontent.
These HR experts' views are notrepresentative of their past,
present or future employers.
If you have ever heard mymanager is unfair to me.
I need you to reset my HRportal password, or Can I write
(00:24):
up my employee for crying toomuch?
Welcome to our little safe zone.
Welcome to Jaded HR.
Warren (00:57):
Welcome to JDHR the Podcast by three HR
professionals who want to helpyou get through your workday by
saying everything you'rethinking, but say them out loud
I'm Warren, I'm Cece and I'mPatrick.
He's back and I'm Patrick, he'sback.
Yes, we've been teasing.
Our AMA would have a specialhost.
Actually, cece and I are goingto be the guests and Patrick's
got all the AMA questions youcan handle Too hot, got all the
(01:19):
AMA questions you can handle,and the first one is going to be
from Bill, our Patreonsupporter, and you can be like
Bill or Hallie, the originalJaded HR rock star, and support
us.
I've been seeing this thingonline a lot, started by Adam
Curry who, for some sakes,created the first podcast.
But the value for value.
If you think you get a laughout of this, throw us a buck
(01:41):
Each episode that you think isfine.
You can buy us a beer.
That's a one-time donation oryou can just give us a monthly
recurring payment on Patreon.
All the links are in our shownotes.
But if you don't want tosupport us financially, you can
support us by rating us,reviewing us everywhere you can
and telling a friend orsubmitting us a story or
something really cool that youhave going on that we can talk
(02:03):
about.
So those are some great ways tosupport us, but let's go ahead
and get this party started, ourfourth anniversary special.
It's hard to believe that I'vebeen doing this for four years.
I don't stick with anything.
Yeah, if you look at my resume,most of those don't even last
four years.
It's impressive.
Now, you've been here there 10years, almost 10.
(02:28):
It'll be 10 in may.
I know I can't even use thatjoke anymore, I know, but I've
been gone five and we've workedtogether about five.
Patrick (02:34):
So yeah, wow so lame.
Warren (02:38):
All right, bill, get us started.
So bill says.
I've been listening to yourpodcast on Google Podcasts and
just noticed today that they areceasing to exist on the 2nd of
April.
Do you have any recommendationon platforms?
Patrick (02:53):
And you know I am a nerd.
When I went into this podcaststuff I went sort of all nerd in
and I too originally waslistening on Google Podcasts and
I got the notification thatthey were ending.
So I tried a bunch of differentones.
I did not try Spotify.
Spotify, if you don't know,will put their own ads on my
podcast and the first year itwas election and election year
(03:18):
we got some one piece of emailthat someone was really upset
that we were supporting whatevercandidate Like nobody's paid me
a dime to put any ads on thisand it was Spotify choosing to
do that on their own.
So I didn't try Spotify.
But I did land on Pocket Castsand I really like it.
It's a lot of, it's easy to use.
(03:38):
It's got a good user interface.
There is a way you can export.
It might be too late, if you'regetting this, to export your
history and your lists and yoursubscriptions from Google
Podcasts to another podcast, butI didn't bother when I did that
.
I just picked all my podcastsand things like that.
So Pocket Cast would be myfirst choice.
Cee Cee (04:01):
as an Android user, I do whatever Apple tells me.
So I just do Apple Podcasts.
So I just do Apple podcast.
Patrick (04:06):
Well, the new Apple interface is supposed to be
awesome.
The newest release.
Warren (04:11):
It used to be so bad.
I overcast is what I use andit's very, very good.
Patrick (04:16):
That's really good for Apple, I've heard.
I don't.
I'm an Android guy myself.
Okay, yeah, well, if you're oniOS like, okay, yeah, well, if
you're on iOS, like the realelite people, you can use
Overcast.
Something like 65% of ourlisteners are on Apple Podcasts.
I'm not in that elite group,all righty.
Warren (04:36):
I went through.
Well, I did go through Redditand I just got my questions back
.
Okay, reddit and I just got myquestions back.
Okay, and some like trying tofind some fun HR questions from
the Reddit users.
I say in quotes Did we want tojust sprinkle someone in as we
go yeah, go ahead, do a littleemerald spice it up in there.
Cee Cee (05:00):
Bam All right.
Warren (05:02):
So this one's going to be from Reddit user
NotYourTherapistHR, and it saysis there a specific protocol for
dealing with an officepoltergeist, or should we just
wing it?
Patrick (05:20):
Office poltergeist.
Well, the building we worked inonce upon a time could have
been haunted.
Warren (05:26):
We still talk about the HR ghost and it's taken many
forms in our office, but I haveyet to figure out the best way
to deal with it.
Patrick (05:34):
I guess if everybody takes turn bringing in their
sage.
But I guess you probably couldburn it on the inside.
Warren (05:43):
You could, but then you just.
You know, sprinkler, you haveto have a talk with the HR boss,
I guess.
And then that's probably thelast thing you get to do in that
office.
Patrick (05:52):
But if you are HR, you know HR doesn't have to follow
any of the rules.
Everybody will say that.
Andrew Quilpa (05:57):
Tell yourself you are HR.
That's true.
Patrick (05:59):
You can go in and burn some sage and have an exorcism
in the office.
That would be cool doing anexorcism right there in the
office.
Warren (06:09):
I think, yeah, you know it'd be fun.
You have, like you turn all thelights out and there's like a
circle of candles and everyone'sjust sitting in the middle, and
then this poor IT guy walks inand then just kind of turns
around and leaves, Doesn't sayanything.
Cee Cee (06:22):
It's like you guy.
Warren (06:24):
There's a reason that no one talks to HR.
Cee Cee (06:26):
Is there a Ouija board involved, because I'd be down.
What's the deal?
I want to understand.
Let me seek to understandbefore we fully exercise them.
Warren (06:39):
There is a Ouija board but it's entirely made out of
charcuterie, because I actuallysaw one of those today on Reddit
.
It was someone made out ofcharcuterie, because I actually
saw one of those today on reddit.
It was someone made a fullcharcuterie board of a ouija
board and it was amazing thatfor those of you who aren't
watching this, which iseverybody.
Patrick (06:55):
Cc just did an awesome spit take while talking about
that.
Warren (07:02):
That's why they brought me back for the spit I need that
immediately in my life I'llsend you the recipe okay, what
do we have next?
do we want to do from instagram?
Sure, thinking back to yourquestion about have you ever had
an employee that were in a cultor cult-like, I just moved
across the country to be thefirst hr person at a company.
(07:23):
I get there and the owner'sreligious beliefs are deeply
integrated with the companypolicies and practices and it
has a bit of a cult vibe.
So how would you handle workinghere?
That's a hard one.
Patrick (07:37):
You're not going to know until you're there, unless
the guy's like culting you up inthe interview.
I don't know.
I mean it sounds like theyalready have the job yeah, they
got the job they print out afterthey get there.
Cee Cee (07:53):
That uh and it is the owner and it is the owner.
Patrick (07:58):
So yeah, it's that's crazy.
Warren (08:02):
I mean you gotta join the cult, right.
You gotta see, maybe it's,maybe it's a good cult well,
what?
Patrick (08:09):
what's the one that cc?
You were mentioning that youwould have joined because it was
all business development andprofessional development oh my
god, I would have joined thatnexium cult in the second nexio
executive, executive leadershipskills like I would.
Cee Cee (08:23):
Yeah, you would have had me.
Patrick (08:24):
That's very bad it started with executive
leadership skills and then itgot weird as they all, they all
do.
Warren (08:38):
Why does that always happen?
Patrick (08:39):
that's like the end thing but, yeah, do you, do you
play along?
Or, and how long do you playalong?
Do you, you know, got to paybills?
You got paid your mortgage,rent, whatever student loans?
How are you gonna play alongwith?
And it depends, is it how deepof a cult is it?
Is it a mild cult?
You know, a friend of mine,swears, who is huge into
(09:04):
CrossFit.
He calls it a cult and it has alot of cult-like things and he
is devout to CrossFit.
But it depends on what it is.
I don't know.
Cee Cee (09:17):
It's hard.
I used to work for a companywhere the owners of the company
were part owners of a megachurchin the area but, that being
said, it was never like in thecompany.
It was just like, oh, they alsodo this, and there was no
pressure or anything like that.
And that was fine, I guess, aslong as they're not like
(09:38):
discriminating or doing anythingillegal based on these
integrated religious beliefs, Ithink you just play along yeah,
yeah, yeah.
Warren (09:50):
Cult of personality is that a thing?
Patrick (09:53):
in living color or no?
That was in living color.
What's the name of that band?
I don't remember.
Remember living color.
I think you're right.
I was thinking the tv show inliving color.
Cee Cee (10:02):
That's what I was thinking.
Patrick (10:05):
Keep on, keeping on.
Warren (10:07):
All right, so how would you handle working there?
Did we answer their question?
Just do it.
Patrick (10:14):
Is that my advice?
Just do it until it turns to asex cult.
Warren (10:16):
I mean to be fair and then maybe start your own cult.
Competing cult, A competingcult.
Maybe start your own cult.
Competing cults, A competingcult.
Patrick (10:26):
It has to be someplace like Oregon or something like
that that has a ton of cults.
Warren (10:32):
Yeah, the West Coast, I think, is just like.
Cee Cee (10:34):
Mecca, some for the nature.
Warren (10:35):
I don't know.
I'm going to get that t-shirt.
Let's see.
Just go wherever you feel.
Let's just go with it.
I'm going to go with where Ifeel.
In that case, can my employerat my job fire me and not notify
me that I have been terminated?
(10:56):
I went to check my schedule andit told me that I can no longer
access the schedule, and Itried texting my manager about
it but he didn't respond.
Is that even legal?
Cee Cee (11:07):
It's legal or not, but that's.
Warren (11:09):
I think that's just called ghosting nowadays.
Patrick (11:13):
Yeah but can you ghost someone who's your current
employee?
You hear about these applicantghosts and who's your current
employee?
You hear about these applicantghosts and is their current
employee?
Is it like just walking out onyour spouse or I don't know what
it would be.
First, one of my things is thislegal?
This question we stole fromCora, which is the redhead
(11:35):
stepchild of Reddit.
The questions are so much dumberand they, they, they really do
sometimes inspire full episodes,with me reading some of the
dumb questions here and, andeven worse, the responses, and
they're oh yeah, this happenedto me.
It's like that old uncle ohyeah, this happened to me back
in vietnam.
Da, da, da, da da.
And you know, yeah, they, theyfired me and without even
(12:00):
telling me, putting on theschedule, I don't know, but he's
got some whacked out story from30 years ago, 50 years ago.
So well, you, patrick, is anhrs pro.
You know there's some times.
You know systems go awry and itmay not be the company's fault,
but your HRS, if it's, I'm notgoing to name any names, but if
(12:21):
it's, they go down, and theysometimes go down at the worst
of times, like open enrollment.
Warren (12:27):
Not if you have a good manager, Warren Huh.
Not if you have a good personadministrating your HRS system
your hris system.
Patrick (12:40):
You're still at the, the whims of the, the provider,
to a certain degree, unless youhave full on-site redundancy and
all that other fun stuff.
But I've seen it happen wherepeople you know you can't log in
or things like that.
So there could be an innocuousanswer.
Or you know, dude, you're anidiot, let's just get they.
You already you were fired andyou didn't remember.
I don't know.
Warren (12:59):
I don't know.
It's probably.
It probably is legal Like Idon't know.
Is there any precedent forletting someone know they're
terminated?
Patrick (13:06):
I think if they're, if you just you know, I'm sure if
you're in a union environment orin a particular West Coast
state that has a lot of cults init, you might be able to, you
might be protected.
They may have to.
Actually, I do think incalifornia you have to provide
documentation from people leave.
Cee Cee (13:22):
But yeah, most of the, otherwise probably about
california, but you beat me toit like I'm sure it's legal
everywhere but california butcalifornia and you also have to
pay 180 days worth of sick payafter you terminate them, or
something crazy.
Warren (13:39):
Let's do some more AMA style questions from our good
friend the cloud, and this let'sjust be for both of you what's
the most unusual job titleyou've ever had to recruit for?
That's actually a really goodquestion.
I like that.
Cee Cee (13:56):
I had to recruit for a pilot.
I actually a really goodquestion.
I like that.
Warren (13:58):
I had to recruit for a pilot, oh.
Cee Cee (13:59):
I did not know so the same company that had that were
the church owners.
They had a subsidiary companythat was basically a holding
company for their private jet.
Warren (14:12):
So Okay so.
Cee Cee (14:14):
I was tasked to find them a new pilot, which I know
nothing about aviation, so thatwas a fun challenge and that was
also the only time in my lifethat I have been on a private
jet.
Patrick (14:29):
Oh, there you go.
This has its perks.
Cee Cee (14:32):
I did not get to go anywhere, I just walked in it.
I looked around.
That's not as fun.
I took a picture to go anywhere.
Warren (14:36):
I just walked in it.
Cee Cee (14:37):
I looked around.
Warren (14:38):
That's not as funny I took a picture for the gram.
There you go.
Patrick (14:44):
I don't think I've recruited for any crazy titles I
can't think of, but I've toldthe story before.
A partner at a company I'veworked for wanted to hire this
dude as an intern or hire thisperson, and he just said we're
hiring John Doe, you need tomake this happen now.
And I was a recruiter.
I'm like, okay, what's histitle?
And he said, call him a utilityinfielder.
(15:06):
And I put him in to the HRSsystem as utility infielder.
He was just going to do all themop-up work and things like
that that nobody else wanted todo for his internship.
So I don't have a cool storyfor that one, unfortunately.
Warren (15:21):
Yeah, I don't have any.
I did have a.
This is off topic, but it justmade me think of it.
I probably had one of thefunnier requests from an
employee happen a couple weeksago and we had someone ask us if
their PTO hours transferredover from their previous job.
Cee Cee (15:39):
Like out of the company .
Warren (15:39):
Yeah, so, like the PTO hours they had at their previous
job, came over to their new jobwith us Nice.
So kind of like a 401k it'sexpected that it would come over
.
So, yeah, just roll over yourPTO hours.
Patrick (15:56):
That would be so flawed so I hadn't heard that before
no, I hadn't heard.
That too.
That's, that's a good one, andcould you keep a straight face
you know the poker face and sayno?
Warren (16:07):
just no, luckily it's via via email, so you have time
to laugh and mock and scorn thembefore and and mock and scorn
and all that good stuff.
Alright, let's take one fromReddit user CoffeeCupCounselor.
Okay.
Cee Cee (16:23):
I like it.
Warren (16:26):
If I accidentally summoned a demon during a coffee
break?
Who is responsible for its HRonboarding?
And there seems to be a themewith these ones.
Cee Cee (16:37):
That is your demon.
You have to onboard them.
Warren (16:41):
What if the person summoning it is I don't know an?
Andrew Quilpa (16:44):
admin assistant or something, or, network
engineer.
Patrick (16:50):
HR is easy.
Anybody can do it Right.
That is true.
Warren (16:55):
Even a poltergeist.
That's what it is.
You make the poltergeist do it.
Right, that is true.
Even a poltergeist that's whatit is.
You make the poltergeist do it.
Patrick (17:00):
And then if they can stick around through onboarding,
you've got a good employee.
If they bolt, then hey, didn'tneed them anyway.
Cee Cee (17:09):
Is that considered a stretch assignment for the
poltergeist?
Patrick (17:13):
Stretch assignment for his review process.
Warren (17:18):
Let's try one more from the exit reddit user, the exit
interviewer.
Okay, um, in the case of azombie apocalypse, does the
company have an emergency planor is every person for
themselves?
I like you, but it's everyonefor themselves agree, I remember
writing like some zombieapocalypse fan fiction while I
(17:39):
was doing like one of my Iworked at as like an hr
assistant and I was just reallybored and that was like when the
zombie stuff was like reallytaking off and I remember
writing like an office zombieattack, like fan fiction thing.
I wish I could find that.
It was pretty deep.
It was like how things go quietin the office and then trying
(18:01):
to escape the office, was it?
Patrick (18:02):
published on any of those fan fiction sites?
Did you publish?
Warren (18:05):
it.
No, it's probably on an oldiPod or something somewhere.
It was a long time ago.
Cee Cee (18:10):
Well, you have the survival guide.
Patrick (18:12):
I challenged your listeners to find Patrick's fan
fiction.
Warren (18:17):
There you go.
If you could find it I'd beterrified because I know I did
not publish that, Probably typedin like the word, like Creed
from the office style inneroffice intranet Backslash,
backslash Creed thoughts.
Let's do another one.
From getting to know your HRprofessional.
(18:41):
What's the oddest complaintyou've ever had to address?
Patrick (18:46):
Bathrooms, everything having to do with bathrooms,
people, someone complainingabout they couldn't hold their
phone conversations in thebathrooms because other people
were being too loud.
Bathrooms just are too much.
Can you hold that shit in alittle longer?
(19:07):
I'm trying to have a phoneinterview here.
Cee Cee (19:10):
I don't know, just for the record, I don't want to talk
to anyone while they're takinga shit Like can we just say that
Just a blanket, just a blanketmoratorium on that.
Warren (19:22):
It should be just a quiet zone, like as soon as you
enter that someone casts silenceand no sound can be made in
that area.
Exactly Like that is a rule.
There are people that Iliterally, if I see them in the
hallway, I turn around and goback, no matter how bad it needs
to happen, because I knowthey're going to talk to me in
there and I just it won't happen.
Yeah, I don't like.
(19:42):
I don't like conversation.
Should be the zone of silence.
But why would they complain toHR?
Well, I don't know why.
I would ask that.
Of course they would complainto HR about that.
Cee Cee (19:53):
I've never.
My friend a friend of mine isan HR business partner and she
had to deal with a complaintonce that the person thought
someone was hanging aConfederate flag in their desk.
So they complained to HR andwanted an investigation and my
friend did a couple of drive-bysand didn't see it.
And she's like what are youtalking about?
And like it's there.
(20:14):
And so she did another one andshe noticed that the person
actually had the british jackpaying up oh yep, and it was
equally funny because my friendhappens to be from england, so
she was just like I don't thinkthat's what you think it is.
That's actually the, the flagof my country, and the person
(20:35):
was a little embarrassed but atthe same time was like well, I
thought.
I saw what I saw yeah.
Patrick (20:41):
That's going to.
Everybody is looking for areason to be offended.
You see a white field with abig red X England Anybody?
Cee Cee (20:53):
Fun with flags, as Sheldon Cooper would.
Warren (20:56):
Sheldon Confederate flag was just a white flag, yeah.
So, anywho, let's do.
Can you share an instance wherean office prank went too far
but ended well?
Cee Cee (21:12):
Oh, my God, I love those.
I have so many.
Warren (21:16):
I used to do office, my very first job in hr.
I worked for a pretty popularlogistics shipping company and
me and the other guy I workedthe morning shift and this other
guy worked in the afternoonshift and we would it started by
this like random thing thatwould you could set a timer and
it would just beep really loud.
I don't even know what it wasand we would just hide that in
(21:37):
each.
I don't even know what it wasand we would just hide that in
each other's desk and it wouldgo off at like the worst times.
But then it just went fromthere.
But, cece, you go ahead andshare.
Cee Cee (21:44):
So I was working in talent acquisition at a company
and the recruiting team wasfairly large and had a really
good sense of humor abouteverything.
And my coworker had this mousepad on her desk and it was like
a 50s pinup girl and it said, oh, I forgot what it said.
It said something like I'm I'mtoo pretty, or I'm too pretty
(22:04):
for this, or something like that.
And my boss, he had stolen itfrom her desk and he just like
kept it for himself for a whileso, and he like refused to give
it back.
He's like I love it, it's fine.
So, uh, her, myself and theinstructional designer got his
picture like imposed on the sameexact style, oh nice.
(22:28):
And then we had mouse pads forthe entire team and then when
just oh, that's cool.
Everyone just had the mouse padson their desk.
It was fantastic and it was for.
The best part was it was thepicture was for brand, like
internal brand marketing orsomething for recruitment.
And it was like him and thesesunglasses, like with the double
(22:51):
guns, like hey and yeah, it wasgreat.
I mean he hated it, but weactually like handed them out in
a huge team meeting with like50 of us there and he was just
mortified and she was like, ifyou can't give back my mouse pad
, I had to buy a new one.
Patrick (23:09):
That that's a good one.
That's classic.
I love it.
Warren (23:13):
You know, I would have to say Patrick's probably the
victim of most of my officepranks Because our team there
you could do things like thatwhen you go on vacation or go
have a baby or get married oranything like that we destroyed
his office each and every timeand none of them went too too
(23:35):
far, I don't think I mean whenyou're gone for two weeks and
you got to spend your firstthree hours having a scavenger
hunt to find your mouse and yourphone and taking the 300
toothpicks out of your keyboardand the sticky notes off your
monitor, and then realizing yourmonitors were also switched, so
when you move your mouse to theleft it then goes to your right
(23:58):
.
Uh, what else?
My phone was in the mini fridge.
Patrick (24:05):
Yeah, that took a long time while we're doing this, uh,
a co-worker of ours is hanginga doll above in the ceiling
above patrick's desk, and the vpof hr walked in and we're
playing, okay, the stupidestsong in the ceiling above
Patrick's desk.
And the VP of HR walks in andwe're playing, okay, the
stupidest song in the world, theBaby Monkey song.
We're playing that full blast.
The VP of HR walks in and shedoesn't bat an eye.
(24:27):
She just okay, turns around andleaves.
She just okay.
We're standing on chairshanging things into the ceiling,
stuff like that.
But yeah, patrick, every timehe left for vacation he was the
only one who got it, becausehe'd be the best sport about
things like that.
Pretty good sport.
We had some fun with that.
Cee Cee (24:51):
Serves you right for taking time off.
Warren (24:53):
I know right, I did with the same guy.
I did an office prank.
I learned about setting macrosin outlook so if you typed in
one thing, it switch it toanother automatically.
So I switched whenever youtyped in ups to fedex.
And this guy sent an entireemail, without realizing it, to
(25:17):
our regional HR head with justthe word FedEx all over it.
And it ended well because hecame back and was like what are
you doing?
What is this?
But yeah, anytime we typed UPS,it would just switch it to
FedEx.
That would be harmless, butpretty funny because you don't,
you're just typing.
You don't realize it, I guess,if you don't reread what you
(25:39):
wrote.
But yeah, that was a prettyfunny one.
Patrick (25:42):
Got time for a couple more.
Warren (25:44):
Let's see how.
About what is the most creativeexcuse you've heard for someone
calling out sick?
Patrick (25:53):
Their favorite football team, which has changed names,
recently lost and they were toodepressed.
What is?
Up with that to come to work orno.
We had another one.
I the person was tooradioactive to come to work.
We had that too.
Warren (26:13):
That was a good one.
Yeah, the radioactive.
Cee Cee (26:15):
Oh, that's crazy.
I can imagine how.
What did you know?
Patrick (26:21):
Apparently they were having some chemo treatments and
thought that they wereradioactive to the rest of the
world.
Don't think that's how it works.
I'm no doctor, but I don'tthink that's how it works don't
think that's how it works.
Cee Cee (26:34):
I'm no doctor, but I don't think that's how it works.
So I have to kind of laugh.
Because a friend of mine had toget her thyroid removed and she
had to do it through aradioactive pill and apparently
they delivered it to the houseand they were in legit hazmat
suits to deliver this pill toher and she had to quarantine
herself from the rest of thehouse because she was really
(26:55):
radioactive to the point whereshe would go outside and like
sit on her porch and like flieswould come near her and then
they would just like drop dead.
Warren (27:04):
oh, wow, there's just birds in her yard, just just
falling from the sky.
Cee Cee (27:13):
You know I'm laughing because she's fine, like it's
all good, and she laughs aboutit too.
But I'm just like I thoughtwhen she said that because she's
a school teacher, so I'm likeyou could not go to school,
being radioactive, and it wasduring the summer, so school was
out of session.
But yeah, I actually couldbelieve that if someone was like
no, I'm too radioactive, itcan't come to work so we can't
(27:36):
use that anymore, because nowit's legit.
Patrick (27:37):
Yeah, you turned it something we had so much fun
mocking and scoring intosomething legit now.
Warren (27:43):
Now we might actually feel bad for our actions 10
years ago now I need to hiresomeone like that to come around
whenever we have fruit fliesjust to like take them out, so I
can never get rid of thosethings I don't have any one more
, if you got it you want to doone of these future prediction
ones?
This could be fun okay, let'ssay imagine hr technology 50
(28:05):
years from now.
What's one futuristic tool youwish would exist?
Cee Cee (28:10):
an hr system that can do what I want it to do but what
is that?
uh, you know, like I just I justwant something that works, that
meets all of my needs.
For I don't know like doingcheck-ins properly and we use a,
we use a system.
I'm not gonna, but they have acheck-in like oh, oh, have a
(28:33):
performance check-in, and it'sliterally like it's the most
basic thing.
That doesn't help at all, butit's there so they can talk
about it.
So we have to like do a wholeworkaround to make some kind of
system work for us.
But I don't know, just dothings properly.
Patrick (28:56):
I would like an applicant tracking system that
can get into a person's minddeeply and know that we're not
getting some sort of dramaticperson and just a plain asshole.
It reads who you really are, orI would not be employable any
longer.
But you're talking about HRtechnology.
50 years from now, we just hadto set up our 401k with the 2070
(29:22):
retirement fund and we send outall the little fund notices and
everything to the employees andmy assistant, who's much
younger than me, says'll bewhatever 70 years old, and then
I I said I'll be worm food in 27but yeah, yeah, 50 years is
like for me in 50 years I hopethe technology is there where
(29:44):
people just like don't have towork.
Warren (29:46):
It'll just be like star trek utopia where it can just do
all these.
I mean, let's be fair at thispoint the way way HR is going
and AI is going, they're notgoing to need us anymore anyway.
This is a dying industry, hr, Ithink.
Patrick (30:00):
No, we'll always have our lunatics that we have to
deal with.
Warren (30:04):
I can deal with it at this point.
Hey, I can probably deal withhalf the stuff now.
Oh, I mean, but 50 years, wait,come on, yeah, oh, but 50 years
.
Cee Cee (30:13):
Come on, are you thinking like WALL-E, like we're
just all like floating aroundin recliners?
Patrick (30:18):
Is it litter everywhere ?
Warren (30:20):
Well, unfortunately, it probably will be closer to
WALL-E Than.
Patrick (30:23):
Star.
Warren (30:24):
Trek yeah, that's kind of sad Than Star Trek.
Yeah, that makes me sad, butit's a little too real.
Cee Cee (30:33):
I honestly think that's the direction we're going in
just floating on recliners withtablets in our faces yep, I
cannot disagree do we want to do?
Warren (30:46):
if you could give all employees one superpower to
improve productivity, what wouldit be?
The power to read?
Patrick (30:57):
Yes, I cannot disagree with that.
Had you actually read the email, half of our problems would be
solved.
Warren (31:07):
If only I taught that.
I think that would solve a lotof our problems.
Cee Cee (31:10):
That would be nice.
Patrick (31:11):
I cannot disagree with that, that I think that would
solve a lot of our problems.
That would be nice.
I cannot disagree with that.
It looks like a question sentto us through DMs, the final one
on the page here.
When do you know it's the real?
Warren (31:22):
Yeah, okay.
Andrew Quilpa (31:25):
Alright.
Warren (31:25):
I'll ask Don't take Warren.
I have one job to do tonight.
Don't take this from me, Okay?
When do you know it's time toleave a company?
Cee Cee (31:35):
I like that one.
Patrick (31:37):
It's just a gut feeling , I think.
Warren (31:41):
When AI tells you to.
Cee Cee (31:43):
When the robots take over, that is the time to leave.
Patrick (31:47):
You get a gut feeling.
My time here is done.
Feeling my time here is done.
Cee Cee (31:54):
I think, when you no longer get something out of the
role.
I think it's time to go.
I feel like when you're thesmartest person in the room,
that tends to be the issue.
It's time to go.
Warren (32:11):
Yeah, when they start summoning demons in the break
room.
Patrick (32:14):
That's a no for me.
Demons in the break room,poltergeists.
So yeah, that's going to be anew company policy no summoning
demons or poltergeists in theoffice area.
Warren (32:26):
You don't summon a poltergeist, they just show up,
they just show up, they're rude.
The demons you ask for thepoltergeists are?
They were already there.
You're at, you're in their area.
Cee Cee (32:37):
Okay, okay, I got it at least that sounds like a good
like company bonding thing.
Warren (32:42):
I mean bring that charcuterie board in on the
ouija board, that's true I mean,that's just really good
cultural bonding see, maybe thebest way to know when you need
to leave a company.
You just ask the poltergeist.
He sees all.
He's been there a while he orshe.
You know they will let you know.
Those cook their heads thereall the time.
Patrick (33:03):
In the Harry Potter Hogwarts Legacy game there's one
of the ghosts that you have tosummon through smelly food, and
so if you let your charcuterierot, it might do a better job in
doing that.
So not to give away any of thequests on the Harry Potter
Legacy game, but it's been outfor over a year now, so you
(33:23):
should probably have gottenthere by now.
Warren (33:27):
The theory is, I think, if the food is rotten, that the
ghost can taste it.
Patrick (33:31):
Yeah, I don't, because it's so far gone.
Cee Cee (33:33):
Just another reason to microwave fish in the break room
.
Warren (33:37):
Oh, because the poltergeist will be in there.
Yeah, that's a calling card forthem.
Patrick (33:45):
I think we'll call it a day with that one.
So thanks for joining us again.
This has been a lot of fun.
We'll figure out what we'regoing to do for year number five
, anniversary number five, butit's hard to believe.
It's been four crazy years, Ithink.
Also, I want to take a secondto thank cc and wish her well.
She's probably not gonna behere next couple episodes, but
(34:06):
we'll have her back as soon asshe's feeling up to it.
So, and I think she may havelined up one of our guest hosts
we're going to have guest hostsfor however long it feels that
she wants to be gone.
So can I announce, potentially,who the guest host is?
Cee Cee (34:25):
Yeah, you can.
Yeah, I think.
Patrick (34:26):
Mr CC.
Cee Cee (34:28):
Mr CC.
Mr CC will come on.
Patrick (34:30):
Who is an actual HR pro as well.
So we will.
That'll be one of our guesthosts.
I've got a couple other peopleinterested and lined up, so the
episodes will keep on coming aswe enter season number five.
So this is season five, episodeone, and we're recording this
on April 1st, the day thatPatrick and I released the first
five episodes.
(34:51):
There were six and that onemight be gone too Crazy Ever
forever.
Warren (34:58):
It's in the cloud somewhere, AI will find it.
Eventually.
Someone will just summon it intheir office somehow.
They'll be like what is thisfrom beyond?
Patrick (35:09):
the voices.
I'd have to look at the notesto even see what the topic was
of the one that we didn'tpublish, that we thought was
just not good enough to topublish.
So there's been three totalepisodes like that that we have
chosen not to publish.
One was technical related,another was, I just thought,
feathers.
This ain't happening, we'relet's it a night.
Warren (35:32):
Not feeling it tonight guys.
Patrick (35:34):
We're like both not had energy level of zero and we're
over it.
So, anyways, let's say thanks,patrick, for joining us again.
We want to have you come backas often as you would like and
hope to see you all next twoweeks with another fun episode,
and we will go for from there.
So our best practices keepsticking with us for season
(35:57):
number five.
And then, as always, I'm warrenI'm cc and I'm patrick, and
we're here helping you survivehr one.
What the fuck moment at a time.
Had you actually read the email, you would know
that the podcast you are aboutto listen to could contain
explicit language and offensivecontent.
These HR experts' views are notrepresentative of their past,
present or future employers.
If you have ever heard mymanager is unfair to me.
I need you to reset my HRportal password, or Can I write
(00:24):
up my employee for crying toomuch?
Welcome to our little safe zone.
Welcome to Jaded HR.
Warren (00:57):
Welcome to JDHR the Podcast by three HR
professionals who want to helpyou get through your workday by
saying everything you'rethinking, but say them out loud
I'm Warren, I'm Cece and I'mPatrick.
He's back and I'm Patrick, he'sback.
Yes, we've been teasing.
Our AMA would have a specialhost.
Actually, cece and I are goingto be the guests and Patrick's
got all the AMA questions youcan handle Too hot, got all the
(01:19):
AMA questions you can handle,and the first one is going to be
from Bill, our Patreonsupporter, and you can be like
Bill or Hallie, the originalJaded HR rock star, and support
us.
I've been seeing this thingonline a lot, started by Adam
Curry who, for some sakes,created the first podcast.
But the value for value.
If you think you get a laughout of this, throw us a buck
(01:41):
Each episode that you think isfine.
You can buy us a beer.
That's a one-time donation oryou can just give us a monthly
recurring payment on Patreon.
All the links are in our shownotes.
But if you don't want tosupport us financially, you can
support us by rating us,reviewing us everywhere you can
and telling a friend orsubmitting us a story or
something really cool that youhave going on that we can talk
(02:03):
about.
So those are some great ways tosupport us, but let's go ahead
and get this party started, ourfourth anniversary special.
It's hard to believe that I'vebeen doing this for four years.
I don't stick with anything.
Yeah, if you look at my resume,most of those don't even last
four years.
It's impressive.
Now, you've been here there 10years, almost 10.
(02:28):
It'll be 10 in may.
I know I can't even use thatjoke anymore, I know, but I've
been gone five and we've workedtogether about five.
Patrick (02:34):
So yeah, wow so lame.
Warren (02:38):
All right, bill, get us started.
So bill says.
I've been listening to yourpodcast on Google Podcasts and
just noticed today that they areceasing to exist on the 2nd of
April.
Do you have any recommendationon platforms?
Patrick (02:53):
And you know I am a nerd.
When I went into this podcaststuff I went sort of all nerd in
and I too originally waslistening on Google Podcasts and
I got the notification thatthey were ending.
So I tried a bunch of differentones.
I did not try Spotify.
Spotify, if you don't know,will put their own ads on my
podcast and the first year itwas election and election year
(03:18):
we got some one piece of emailthat someone was really upset
that we were supporting whatevercandidate Like nobody's paid me
a dime to put any ads on thisand it was Spotify choosing to
do that on their own.
So I didn't try Spotify.
But I did land on Pocket Castsand I really like it.
It's a lot of, it's easy to use.
(03:38):
It's got a good user interface.
There is a way you can export.
It might be too late, if you'regetting this, to export your
history and your lists and yoursubscriptions from Google
Podcasts to another podcast, butI didn't bother when I did that
.
I just picked all my podcastsand things like that.
So Pocket Cast would be myfirst choice.
Cee Cee (04:01):
as an Android user, I do whatever Apple tells me.
So I just do Apple Podcasts.
So I just do Apple podcast.
Patrick (04:06):
Well, the new Apple interface is supposed to be
awesome.
The newest release.
Warren (04:11):
It used to be so bad.
I overcast is what I use andit's very, very good.
Patrick (04:16):
That's really good for Apple, I've heard.
I don't.
I'm an Android guy myself.
Okay, yeah, well, if you're oniOS like, okay, yeah, well, if
you're on iOS, like the realelite people, you can use
Overcast.
Something like 65% of ourlisteners are on Apple Podcasts.
I'm not in that elite group,all righty.
Warren (04:36):
I went through.
Well, I did go through Redditand I just got my questions back
.
Okay, reddit and I just got myquestions back.
Okay, and some like trying tofind some fun HR questions from
the Reddit users.
I say in quotes Did we want tojust sprinkle someone in as we
go yeah, go ahead, do a littleemerald spice it up in there.
Cee Cee (05:00):
Bam All right.
Warren (05:02):
So this one's going to be from Reddit user
NotYourTherapistHR, and it saysis there a specific protocol for
dealing with an officepoltergeist, or should we just
wing it?
Patrick (05:20):
Office poltergeist.
Well, the building we worked inonce upon a time could have
been haunted.
Warren (05:26):
We still talk about the HR ghost and it's taken many
forms in our office, but I haveyet to figure out the best way
to deal with it.
Patrick (05:34):
I guess if everybody takes turn bringing in their
sage.
But I guess you probably couldburn it on the inside.
Warren (05:43):
You could, but then you just.
You know, sprinkler, you haveto have a talk with the HR boss,
I guess.
And then that's probably thelast thing you get to do in that
office.
Patrick (05:52):
But if you are HR, you know HR doesn't have to follow
any of the rules.
Everybody will say that.
Andrew Quilpa (05:57):
Tell yourself you are HR.
That's true.
Patrick (05:59):
You can go in and burn some sage and have an exorcism
in the office.
That would be cool doing anexorcism right there in the
office.
Warren (06:09):
I think, yeah, you know it'd be fun.
You have, like you turn all thelights out and there's like a
circle of candles and everyone'sjust sitting in the middle, and
then this poor IT guy walks inand then just kind of turns
around and leaves, Doesn't sayanything.
Cee Cee (06:22):
It's like you guy.
Warren (06:24):
There's a reason that no one talks to HR.
Cee Cee (06:26):
Is there a Ouija board involved, because I'd be down.
What's the deal?
I want to understand.
Let me seek to understandbefore we fully exercise them.
Warren (06:39):
There is a Ouija board but it's entirely made out of
charcuterie, because I actuallysaw one of those today on Reddit
.
It was someone made out ofcharcuterie, because I actually
saw one of those today on reddit.
It was someone made a fullcharcuterie board of a ouija
board and it was amazing thatfor those of you who aren't
watching this, which iseverybody.
Patrick (06:55):
Cc just did an awesome spit take while talking about
that.
Warren (07:02):
That's why they brought me back for the spit I need that
immediately in my life I'llsend you the recipe okay, what
do we have next?
do we want to do from instagram?
Sure, thinking back to yourquestion about have you ever had
an employee that were in a cultor cult-like, I just moved
across the country to be thefirst hr person at a company.
(07:23):
I get there and the owner'sreligious beliefs are deeply
integrated with the companypolicies and practices and it
has a bit of a cult vibe.
So how would you handle workinghere?
That's a hard one.
Patrick (07:37):
You're not going to know until you're there, unless
the guy's like culting you up inthe interview.
I don't know.
I mean it sounds like theyalready have the job yeah, they
got the job they print out afterthey get there.
Cee Cee (07:53):
That uh and it is the owner and it is the owner.
Patrick (07:58):
So yeah, it's that's crazy.
Warren (08:02):
I mean you gotta join the cult, right.
You gotta see, maybe it's,maybe it's a good cult well,
what?
Patrick (08:09):
what's the one that cc?
You were mentioning that youwould have joined because it was
all business development andprofessional development oh my
god, I would have joined thatnexium cult in the second nexio
executive, executive leadershipskills like I would.
Cee Cee (08:23):
Yeah, you would have had me.
Patrick (08:24):
That's very bad it started with executive
leadership skills and then itgot weird as they all, they all
do.
Warren (08:38):
Why does that always happen?
Patrick (08:39):
that's like the end thing but, yeah, do you, do you
play along?
Or, and how long do you playalong?
Do you, you know, got to paybills?
You got paid your mortgage,rent, whatever student loans?
How are you gonna play alongwith?
And it depends, is it how deepof a cult is it?
Is it a mild cult?
You know, a friend of mine,swears, who is huge into
(09:04):
CrossFit.
He calls it a cult and it has alot of cult-like things and he
is devout to CrossFit.
But it depends on what it is.
I don't know.
Cee Cee (09:17):
It's hard.
I used to work for a companywhere the owners of the company
were part owners of a megachurchin the area but, that being
said, it was never like in thecompany.
It was just like, oh, they alsodo this, and there was no
pressure or anything like that.
And that was fine, I guess, aslong as they're not like
(09:38):
discriminating or doing anythingillegal based on these
integrated religious beliefs, Ithink you just play along yeah,
yeah, yeah.
Warren (09:50):
Cult of personality is that a thing?
Patrick (09:53):
in living color or no?
That was in living color.
What's the name of that band?
I don't remember.
Remember living color.
I think you're right.
I was thinking the tv show inliving color.
Cee Cee (10:02):
That's what I was thinking.
Patrick (10:05):
Keep on, keeping on.
Warren (10:07):
All right, so how would you handle working there?
Did we answer their question?
Just do it.
Patrick (10:14):
Is that my advice?
Just do it until it turns to asex cult.
Warren (10:16):
I mean to be fair and then maybe start your own cult.
Competing cult, A competingcult.
Maybe start your own cult.
Competing cults, A competingcult.
Patrick (10:26):
It has to be someplace like Oregon or something like
that that has a ton of cults.
Warren (10:32):
Yeah, the West Coast, I think, is just like.
Cee Cee (10:34):
Mecca, some for the nature.
Warren (10:35):
I don't know.
I'm going to get that t-shirt.
Let's see.
Just go wherever you feel.
Let's just go with it.
I'm going to go with where Ifeel.
In that case, can my employerat my job fire me and not notify
me that I have been terminated?
(10:56):
I went to check my schedule andit told me that I can no longer
access the schedule, and Itried texting my manager about
it but he didn't respond.
Is that even legal?
Cee Cee (11:07):
It's legal or not, but that's.
Warren (11:09):
I think that's just called ghosting nowadays.
Patrick (11:13):
Yeah but can you ghost someone who's your current
employee?
You hear about these applicantghosts and who's your current
employee?
You hear about these applicantghosts and is their current
employee?
Is it like just walking out onyour spouse or I don't know what
it would be.
First, one of my things is thislegal?
This question we stole fromCora, which is the redhead
(11:35):
stepchild of Reddit.
The questions are so much dumberand they, they, they really do
sometimes inspire full episodes,with me reading some of the
dumb questions here and, andeven worse, the responses, and
they're oh yeah, this happenedto me.
It's like that old uncle ohyeah, this happened to me back
in vietnam.
Da, da, da, da da.
And you know, yeah, they, theyfired me and without even
(12:00):
telling me, putting on theschedule, I don't know, but he's
got some whacked out story from30 years ago, 50 years ago.
So well, you, patrick, is anhrs pro.
You know there's some times.
You know systems go awry and itmay not be the company's fault,
but your HRS, if it's, I'm notgoing to name any names, but if
(12:21):
it's, they go down, and theysometimes go down at the worst
of times, like open enrollment.
Warren (12:27):
Not if you have a good manager, Warren Huh.
Not if you have a good personadministrating your HRS system
your hris system.
Patrick (12:40):
You're still at the, the whims of the, the provider,
to a certain degree, unless youhave full on-site redundancy and
all that other fun stuff.
But I've seen it happen wherepeople you know you can't log in
or things like that.
So there could be an innocuousanswer.
Or you know, dude, you're anidiot, let's just get they.
You already you were fired andyou didn't remember.
I don't know.
Warren (12:59):
I don't know.
It's probably.
It probably is legal Like Idon't know.
Is there any precedent forletting someone know they're
terminated?
Patrick (13:06):
I think if they're, if you just you know, I'm sure if
you're in a union environment orin a particular West Coast
state that has a lot of cults init, you might be able to, you
might be protected.
They may have to.
Actually, I do think incalifornia you have to provide
documentation from people leave.
Cee Cee (13:22):
But yeah, most of the, otherwise probably about
california, but you beat me toit like I'm sure it's legal
everywhere but california butcalifornia and you also have to
pay 180 days worth of sick payafter you terminate them, or
something crazy.
Warren (13:39):
Let's do some more AMA style questions from our good
friend the cloud, and this let'sjust be for both of you what's
the most unusual job titleyou've ever had to recruit for?
That's actually a really goodquestion.
I like that.
Cee Cee (13:56):
I had to recruit for a pilot.
I actually a really goodquestion.
I like that.
Warren (13:58):
I had to recruit for a pilot, oh.
Cee Cee (13:59):
I did not know so the same company that had that were
the church owners.
They had a subsidiary companythat was basically a holding
company for their private jet.
Warren (14:12):
So Okay so.
Cee Cee (14:14):
I was tasked to find them a new pilot, which I know
nothing about aviation, so thatwas a fun challenge and that was
also the only time in my lifethat I have been on a private
jet.
Patrick (14:29):
Oh, there you go.
This has its perks.
Cee Cee (14:32):
I did not get to go anywhere, I just walked in it.
I looked around.
That's not as fun.
I took a picture to go anywhere.
Warren (14:36):
I just walked in it.
Cee Cee (14:37):
I looked around.
Warren (14:38):
That's not as funny I took a picture for the gram.
There you go.
Patrick (14:44):
I don't think I've recruited for any crazy titles I
can't think of, but I've toldthe story before.
A partner at a company I'veworked for wanted to hire this
dude as an intern or hire thisperson, and he just said we're
hiring John Doe, you need tomake this happen now.
And I was a recruiter.
I'm like, okay, what's histitle?
And he said, call him a utilityinfielder.
(15:06):
And I put him in to the HRSsystem as utility infielder.
He was just going to do all themop-up work and things like
that that nobody else wanted todo for his internship.
So I don't have a cool storyfor that one, unfortunately.
Warren (15:21):
Yeah, I don't have any.
I did have a.
This is off topic, but it justmade me think of it.
I probably had one of thefunnier requests from an
employee happen a couple weeksago and we had someone ask us if
their PTO hours transferredover from their previous job.
Cee Cee (15:39):
Like out of the company .
Warren (15:39):
Yeah, so, like the PTO hours they had at their previous
job, came over to their new jobwith us Nice.
So kind of like a 401k it'sexpected that it would come over
.
So, yeah, just roll over yourPTO hours.
Patrick (15:56):
That would be so flawed so I hadn't heard that before
no, I hadn't heard.
That too.
That's, that's a good one, andcould you keep a straight face
you know the poker face and sayno?
Warren (16:07):
just no, luckily it's via via email, so you have time
to laugh and mock and scorn thembefore and and mock and scorn
and all that good stuff.
Alright, let's take one fromReddit user CoffeeCupCounselor.
Okay.
Cee Cee (16:23):
I like it.
Warren (16:26):
If I accidentally summoned a demon during a coffee
break?
Who is responsible for its HRonboarding?
And there seems to be a themewith these ones.
Cee Cee (16:37):
That is your demon.
You have to onboard them.
Warren (16:41):
What if the person summoning it is I don't know an?
Andrew Quilpa (16:44):
admin assistant or something, or, network
engineer.
Patrick (16:50):
HR is easy.
Anybody can do it Right.
That is true.
Warren (16:55):
Even a poltergeist.
That's what it is.
You make the poltergeist do it.
Right, that is true.
Even a poltergeist that's whatit is.
You make the poltergeist do it.
Patrick (17:00):
And then if they can stick around through onboarding,
you've got a good employee.
If they bolt, then hey, didn'tneed them anyway.
Cee Cee (17:09):
Is that considered a stretch assignment for the
poltergeist?
Patrick (17:13):
Stretch assignment for his review process.
Warren (17:18):
Let's try one more from the exit reddit user, the exit
interviewer.
Okay, um, in the case of azombie apocalypse, does the
company have an emergency planor is every person for
themselves?
I like you, but it's everyonefor themselves agree, I remember
writing like some zombieapocalypse fan fiction while I
(17:39):
was doing like one of my Iworked at as like an hr
assistant and I was just reallybored and that was like when the
zombie stuff was like reallytaking off and I remember
writing like an office zombieattack, like fan fiction thing.
I wish I could find that.
It was pretty deep.
It was like how things go quietin the office and then trying
(18:01):
to escape the office, was it?
Patrick (18:02):
published on any of those fan fiction sites?
Did you publish?
Warren (18:05):
it.
No, it's probably on an oldiPod or something somewhere.
It was a long time ago.
Cee Cee (18:10):
Well, you have the survival guide.
Patrick (18:12):
I challenged your listeners to find Patrick's fan
fiction.
Warren (18:17):
There you go.
If you could find it I'd beterrified because I know I did
not publish that, Probably typedin like the word, like Creed
from the office style inneroffice intranet Backslash,
backslash Creed thoughts.
Let's do another one.
From getting to know your HRprofessional.
(18:41):
What's the oddest complaintyou've ever had to address?
Patrick (18:46):
Bathrooms, everything having to do with bathrooms,
people, someone complainingabout they couldn't hold their
phone conversations in thebathrooms because other people
were being too loud.
Bathrooms just are too much.
Can you hold that shit in alittle longer?
(19:07):
I'm trying to have a phoneinterview here.
Cee Cee (19:10):
I don't know, just for the record, I don't want to talk
to anyone while they're takinga shit Like can we just say that
Just a blanket, just a blanketmoratorium on that.
Warren (19:22):
It should be just a quiet zone, like as soon as you
enter that someone casts silenceand no sound can be made in
that area.
Exactly Like that is a rule.
There are people that Iliterally, if I see them in the
hallway, I turn around and goback, no matter how bad it needs
to happen, because I knowthey're going to talk to me in
there and I just it won't happen.
Yeah, I don't like.
(19:42):
I don't like conversation.
Should be the zone of silence.
But why would they complain toHR?
Well, I don't know why.
I would ask that.
Of course they would complainto HR about that.
Cee Cee (19:53):
I've never.
My friend a friend of mine isan HR business partner and she
had to deal with a complaintonce that the person thought
someone was hanging aConfederate flag in their desk.
So they complained to HR andwanted an investigation and my
friend did a couple of drive-bysand didn't see it.
And she's like what are youtalking about?
And like it's there.
(20:14):
And so she did another one andshe noticed that the person
actually had the british jackpaying up oh yep, and it was
equally funny because my friendhappens to be from england, so
she was just like I don't thinkthat's what you think it is.
That's actually the, the flagof my country, and the person
(20:35):
was a little embarrassed but atthe same time was like well, I
thought.
I saw what I saw yeah.
Patrick (20:41):
That's going to.
Everybody is looking for areason to be offended.
You see a white field with abig red X England Anybody?
Cee Cee (20:53):
Fun with flags, as Sheldon Cooper would.
Warren (20:56):
Sheldon Confederate flag was just a white flag, yeah.
So, anywho, let's do.
Can you share an instance wherean office prank went too far
but ended well?
Cee Cee (21:12):
Oh, my God, I love those.
I have so many.
Warren (21:16):
I used to do office, my very first job in hr.
I worked for a pretty popularlogistics shipping company and
me and the other guy I workedthe morning shift and this other
guy worked in the afternoonshift and we would it started by
this like random thing thatwould you could set a timer and
it would just beep really loud.
I don't even know what it wasand we would just hide that in
(21:37):
each.
I don't even know what it wasand we would just hide that in
each other's desk and it wouldgo off at like the worst times.
But then it just went fromthere.
But, cece, you go ahead andshare.
Cee Cee (21:44):
So I was working in talent acquisition at a company
and the recruiting team wasfairly large and had a really
good sense of humor abouteverything.
And my coworker had this mousepad on her desk and it was like
a 50s pinup girl and it said, oh, I forgot what it said.
It said something like I'm I'mtoo pretty, or I'm too pretty
(22:04):
for this, or something like that.
And my boss, he had stolen itfrom her desk and he just like
kept it for himself for a whileso, and he like refused to give
it back.
He's like I love it, it's fine.
So, uh, her, myself and theinstructional designer got his
picture like imposed on the sameexact style, oh nice.
(22:28):
And then we had mouse pads forthe entire team and then when
just oh, that's cool.
Everyone just had the mouse padson their desk.
It was fantastic and it was for.
The best part was it was thepicture was for brand, like
internal brand marketing orsomething for recruitment.
And it was like him and thesesunglasses, like with the double
(22:51):
guns, like hey and yeah, it wasgreat.
I mean he hated it, but weactually like handed them out in
a huge team meeting with like50 of us there and he was just
mortified and she was like, ifyou can't give back my mouse pad
, I had to buy a new one.
Patrick (23:09):
That that's a good one.
That's classic.
I love it.
Warren (23:13):
You know, I would have to say Patrick's probably the
victim of most of my officepranks Because our team there
you could do things like thatwhen you go on vacation or go
have a baby or get married oranything like that we destroyed
his office each and every timeand none of them went too too
(23:35):
far, I don't think I mean whenyou're gone for two weeks and
you got to spend your firstthree hours having a scavenger
hunt to find your mouse and yourphone and taking the 300
toothpicks out of your keyboardand the sticky notes off your
monitor, and then realizing yourmonitors were also switched, so
when you move your mouse to theleft it then goes to your right
(23:58):
.
Uh, what else?
My phone was in the mini fridge.
Patrick (24:05):
Yeah, that took a long time while we're doing this, uh,
a co-worker of ours is hanginga doll above in the ceiling
above patrick's desk, and the vpof hr walked in and we're
playing, okay, the stupidestsong in the ceiling above
Patrick's desk.
And the VP of HR walks in andwe're playing, okay, the
stupidest song in the world, theBaby Monkey song.
We're playing that full blast.
The VP of HR walks in and shedoesn't bat an eye.
(24:27):
She just okay, turns around andleaves.
She just okay.
We're standing on chairshanging things into the ceiling,
stuff like that.
But yeah, patrick, every timehe left for vacation he was the
only one who got it, becausehe'd be the best sport about
things like that.
Pretty good sport.
We had some fun with that.
Cee Cee (24:51):
Serves you right for taking time off.
Warren (24:53):
I know right, I did with the same guy.
I did an office prank.
I learned about setting macrosin outlook so if you typed in
one thing, it switch it toanother automatically.
So I switched whenever youtyped in ups to fedex.
And this guy sent an entireemail, without realizing it, to
(25:17):
our regional HR head with justthe word FedEx all over it.
And it ended well because hecame back and was like what are
you doing?
What is this?
But yeah, anytime we typed UPS,it would just switch it to
FedEx.
That would be harmless, butpretty funny because you don't,
you're just typing.
You don't realize it, I guess,if you don't reread what you
(25:39):
wrote.
But yeah, that was a prettyfunny one.
Patrick (25:42):
Got time for a couple more.
Warren (25:44):
Let's see how.
About what is the most creativeexcuse you've heard for someone
calling out sick?
Patrick (25:53):
Their favorite football team, which has changed names,
recently lost and they were toodepressed.
What is?
Up with that to come to work orno.
We had another one.
I the person was tooradioactive to come to work.
We had that too.
Warren (26:13):
That was a good one.
Yeah, the radioactive.
Cee Cee (26:15):
Oh, that's crazy.
I can imagine how.
What did you know?
Patrick (26:21):
Apparently they were having some chemo treatments and
thought that they wereradioactive to the rest of the
world.
Don't think that's how it works.
I'm no doctor, but I don'tthink that's how it works don't
think that's how it works.
Cee Cee (26:34):
I'm no doctor, but I don't think that's how it works.
So I have to kind of laugh.
Because a friend of mine had toget her thyroid removed and she
had to do it through aradioactive pill and apparently
they delivered it to the houseand they were in legit hazmat
suits to deliver this pill toher and she had to quarantine
herself from the rest of thehouse because she was really
(26:55):
radioactive to the point whereshe would go outside and like
sit on her porch and like flieswould come near her and then
they would just like drop dead.
Warren (27:04):
oh, wow, there's just birds in her yard, just just
falling from the sky.
Cee Cee (27:13):
You know I'm laughing because she's fine, like it's
all good, and she laughs aboutit too.
But I'm just like I thoughtwhen she said that because she's
a school teacher, so I'm likeyou could not go to school,
being radioactive, and it wasduring the summer, so school was
out of session.
But yeah, I actually couldbelieve that if someone was like
no, I'm too radioactive, itcan't come to work so we can't
(27:36):
use that anymore, because nowit's legit.
Patrick (27:37):
Yeah, you turned it something we had so much fun
mocking and scoring intosomething legit now.
Warren (27:43):
Now we might actually feel bad for our actions 10
years ago now I need to hiresomeone like that to come around
whenever we have fruit fliesjust to like take them out, so I
can never get rid of thosethings I don't have any one more
, if you got it you want to doone of these future prediction
ones?
This could be fun okay, let'ssay imagine hr technology 50
(28:05):
years from now.
What's one futuristic tool youwish would exist?
Cee Cee (28:10):
an hr system that can do what I want it to do but what
is that?
uh, you know, like I just I justwant something that works, that
meets all of my needs.
For I don't know like doingcheck-ins properly and we use a,
we use a system.
I'm not gonna, but they have acheck-in like oh, oh, have a
(28:33):
performance check-in, and it'sliterally like it's the most
basic thing.
That doesn't help at all, butit's there so they can talk
about it.
So we have to like do a wholeworkaround to make some kind of
system work for us.
But I don't know, just dothings properly.
Patrick (28:56):
I would like an applicant tracking system that
can get into a person's minddeeply and know that we're not
getting some sort of dramaticperson and just a plain asshole.
It reads who you really are, orI would not be employable any
longer.
But you're talking about HRtechnology.
50 years from now, we just hadto set up our 401k with the 2070
(29:22):
retirement fund and we send outall the little fund notices and
everything to the employees andmy assistant, who's much
younger than me, says'll bewhatever 70 years old, and then
I I said I'll be worm food in 27but yeah, yeah, 50 years is
like for me in 50 years I hopethe technology is there where
(29:44):
people just like don't have towork.
Warren (29:46):
It'll just be like star trek utopia where it can just do
all these.
I mean, let's be fair at thispoint the way way HR is going
and AI is going, they're notgoing to need us anymore anyway.
This is a dying industry, hr, Ithink.
Patrick (30:00):
No, we'll always have our lunatics that we have to
deal with.
Warren (30:04):
I can deal with it at this point.
Hey, I can probably deal withhalf the stuff now.
Oh, I mean, but 50 years, wait,come on, yeah, oh, but 50 years
.
Cee Cee (30:13):
Come on, are you thinking like WALL-E, like we're
just all like floating aroundin recliners?
Patrick (30:18):
Is it litter everywhere ?
Warren (30:20):
Well, unfortunately, it probably will be closer to
WALL-E Than.
Patrick (30:23):
Star.
Warren (30:24):
Trek yeah, that's kind of sad Than Star Trek.
Yeah, that makes me sad, butit's a little too real.
Cee Cee (30:33):
I honestly think that's the direction we're going in
just floating on recliners withtablets in our faces yep, I
cannot disagree do we want to do?
Warren (30:46):
if you could give all employees one superpower to
improve productivity, what wouldit be?
The power to read?
Patrick (30:57):
Yes, I cannot disagree with that.
Had you actually read the email, half of our problems would be
solved.
Warren (31:07):
If only I taught that.
I think that would solve a lotof our problems.
Cee Cee (31:10):
That would be nice.
Patrick (31:11):
I cannot disagree with that, that I think that would
solve a lot of our problems.
That would be nice.
I cannot disagree with that.
It looks like a question sentto us through DMs, the final one
on the page here.
When do you know it's the real?
Warren (31:22):
Yeah, okay.
Andrew Quilpa (31:25):
Alright.
Warren (31:25):
I'll ask Don't take Warren.
I have one job to do tonight.
Don't take this from me, Okay?
When do you know it's time toleave a company?
Cee Cee (31:35):
I like that one.
Patrick (31:37):
It's just a gut feeling , I think.
Warren (31:41):
When AI tells you to.
Cee Cee (31:43):
When the robots take over, that is the time to leave.
Patrick (31:47):
You get a gut feeling.
My time here is done.
Feeling my time here is done.
Cee Cee (31:54):
I think, when you no longer get something out of the
role.
I think it's time to go.
I feel like when you're thesmartest person in the room,
that tends to be the issue.
It's time to go.
Warren (32:11):
Yeah, when they start summoning demons in the break
room.
Patrick (32:14):
That's a no for me.
Demons in the break room,poltergeists.
So yeah, that's going to be anew company policy no summoning
demons or poltergeists in theoffice area.
Warren (32:26):
You don't summon a poltergeist, they just show up,
they just show up, they're rude.
The demons you ask for thepoltergeists are?
They were already there.
You're at, you're in their area.
Cee Cee (32:37):
Okay, okay, I got it at least that sounds like a good
like company bonding thing.
Warren (32:42):
I mean bring that charcuterie board in on the
ouija board, that's true I mean,that's just really good
cultural bonding see, maybe thebest way to know when you need
to leave a company.
You just ask the poltergeist.
He sees all.
He's been there a while he orshe.
You know they will let you know.
Those cook their heads thereall the time.
Patrick (33:03):
In the Harry Potter Hogwarts Legacy game there's one
of the ghosts that you have tosummon through smelly food, and
so if you let your charcuterierot, it might do a better job in
doing that.
So not to give away any of thequests on the Harry Potter
Legacy game, but it's been outfor over a year now, so you
(33:23):
should probably have gottenthere by now.
Warren (33:27):
The theory is, I think, if the food is rotten, that the
ghost can taste it.
Patrick (33:31):
Yeah, I don't, because it's so far gone.
Cee Cee (33:33):
Just another reason to microwave fish in the break room
.
Warren (33:37):
Oh, because the poltergeist will be in there.
Yeah, that's a calling card forthem.
Patrick (33:45):
I think we'll call it a day with that one.
So thanks for joining us again.
This has been a lot of fun.
We'll figure out what we'regoing to do for year number five
, anniversary number five, butit's hard to believe.
It's been four crazy years, Ithink.
Also, I want to take a secondto thank cc and wish her well.
She's probably not gonna behere next couple episodes, but
(34:06):
we'll have her back as soon asshe's feeling up to it.
So, and I think she may havelined up one of our guest hosts
we're going to have guest hostsfor however long it feels that
she wants to be gone.
So can I announce, potentially,who the guest host is?
Cee Cee (34:25):
Yeah, you can.
Yeah, I think.
Patrick (34:26):
Mr CC.
Cee Cee (34:28):
Mr CC.
Mr CC will come on.
Patrick (34:30):
Who is an actual HR pro as well.
So we will.
That'll be one of our guesthosts.
I've got a couple other peopleinterested and lined up, so the
episodes will keep on coming aswe enter season number five.
So this is season five, episodeone, and we're recording this
on April 1st, the day thatPatrick and I released the first
five episodes.
(34:51):
There were six and that onemight be gone too Crazy Ever
forever.
Warren (34:58):
It's in the cloud somewhere, AI will find it.
Eventually.
Someone will just summon it intheir office somehow.
They'll be like what is thisfrom beyond?
Patrick (35:09):
the voices.
I'd have to look at the notesto even see what the topic was
of the one that we didn'tpublish, that we thought was
just not good enough to topublish.
So there's been three totalepisodes like that that we have
chosen not to publish.
One was technical related,another was, I just thought,
feathers.
This ain't happening, we'relet's it a night.
Warren (35:32):
Not feeling it tonight guys.
Patrick (35:34):
We're like both not had energy level of zero and we're
over it.
So, anyways, let's say thanks,patrick, for joining us again.
We want to have you come backas often as you would like and
hope to see you all next twoweeks with another fun episode,
and we will go for from there.
So our best practices keepsticking with us for season
(35:57):
number five.
And then, as always, I'm warrenI'm cc and I'm patrick, and
we're here helping you survivehr one.
What the fuck moment at a time.
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