November 18, 2025 • 20 mins
When you reach mid-career, feedback often fades or gets frustratingly vague. You may hear you’re “doing great” or that you should “be more strategic,” but those comments rarely help you grow or move forward.
In this episode, John Neral breaks down how to restart your feedback loop so your work stands out, your reputation strengthens, and decision-makers see you as promotion ready.
Drawing from real coaching experiences, John explores the two types of feedback that define your success: performance (what you deliver) and perception (how others experience working with you).
You’ll learn how to separate emotion from information, reframe criticism as data, and use feedback as a powerful tool to sharpen your presence, build influence, and accelerate your advancement.
John also shares exact scripts and timing strategies for getting useful, specific input that helps you improve continuously, not just during annual reviews. Whether you’re managing a team or working toward your next role, this conversation will help you shift feedback from something you fear to something you seek.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to:
- Understand why feedback becomes less direct as your responsibilities increase
- Distinguish between performance and perception feedback
- Ask better questions that lead to actionable, specific insights
- Translate vague advice like “be more strategic” into measurable behaviors
- Time your feedback conversations for maximum impact
- Manage your emotions when feedback feels personal
- Use the “Keep, Clarify, or Let Go” framework to process and apply feedback effectively
- Build a culture where feedback is ongoing, honest, and productive
Key takeaway: Feedback isn’t meant to define you; it’s meant to refine you.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with a colleague, follow The Mid-Career GPS Podcast, and leave a quick review to help more mid-career professionals find the guidance they need to move forward with clarity and confidence.
Visit johnneral.com/resources or check the show notes for links to join John’s ne
Ready to give your career the jumpstart it needs to whatever is next? Schedule a $197 Career/Leadership Strategy Session. Click here to learn more about how this transformative strategy session will help you.
Visit https://johnneral.com/resources to:
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
When was the last time someone gave you honest
feedback that actually helpedyou grow?
You know, something more than,hey, you're doing great.
Just keep up the great work.
If it's been a while, you're notalone.
See, many mid-careerprofessionals feel like feedback
disappears once they hit acertain level.
(00:21):
Managers assume that you alreadyknow what to do, or they're not
equipped to have the hard,difficult, and more importantly,
intentional conversations togive you the feedback you need
to grow.
See, without feedback, ourgrowth slows.
And so does our visibility fornew opportunities.
(00:43):
Today, I'll walk you through howto restart that feedback loop,
how to ask for and use feedbackeffectively, and how to turn
that feedback into your mostpowerful leadership and career
accelerator.
Are you ready?
Let's get started.
(01:16):
I help mid-career professionalslike you find a career they love
or love the one they have usingmy proven four-step formula.
If you're looking for somethingmore than this podcast, I want
to invite you to join theMidCareer GPS newsletter.
It's my free weekly newsletteremail community.
You can come in and getleadership and career guidance
(01:38):
and information, tactics,strategies, anything you want.
It's all free.
It's available on my website atjohnner.com forward slash
resources.
This episode is very importantto me because throughout my
entire career, feedback has beenthe thing that has driven and
(01:59):
propelled my growth.
Now, I didn't always get thegreatest feedback, nor did I
always give the best feedbackeither.
But as I grew and as I gotbetter and I led more
effectively, using feedback isthat thing that truly is a
tremendous catalyst for change.
Now, I want to offer right hereat the top, if you have never
(02:22):
read the book, How to SayAnything to Anyone by Sherry
Harley, S-H-A-R-I.
Harley is H-A-R-L-E-Y.
It is a fantastic book.
I want to say it was publishedaround 2012.
I remember reading her book on aflight across the country.
I was headed toward a workmeeting and I got off that plane
(02:43):
and I thought, I need toimplement this with my team
immediately.
So if you're ever looking forsome strategies and tactics on
how to deliver feedback clearlyand cleanly, Sherry's book, How
to Say Anything to Anyone, is atremendous resource.
I invite you to go get thatbook.
When we give feedback, and thiscomes out of Sherry's book, she
(03:07):
says that we give feedback fortwo reasons.
It is either to maintainbehavior or to shift behavior.
But when we give feedback,feedback can be emotional.
Feedback can often triggeremotion because it somehow hits
that thing in us that we eitherdidn't do a great job or we did
(03:31):
an outstanding job.
See, feedback is judgment.
Feedback is someone's judgmentor evaluation on something we
did.
And in the workplace, especiallywhen that feedback is coming
from somebody who has theauthority to impact or influence
whether we get promoted or howmuch of a raise or bonus we get,
(03:54):
feedback can sting.
It can sting because it can feellike judgment and it challenges
how we see ourselves.
It is far easier said than doneto find a way to depersonalize
that feedback and turn it intoinformation we can use.
But it's difficult to not thinkin that moment that someone's
(04:17):
attacking us or criticizing us.
But what I want you to considerhere is that as a mid-career
professional who is looking tomove from that manager level,
maybe you're at a seniordirector level and you're eyeing
more senior leadership orexecutive level positions,
feedback can be like a mirror.
(04:39):
And it's that opportunity for usto reflect on something to help
us see what's going to be next.
Feedback is all about intention.
So when we get feedback, ourbrain wants to take us through
all these things like they don'tlike us, they hate our work,
they're out to get us.
We got to quiet our brain down.
(05:00):
And we quiet our brain down in amoment to sit there and reflect
upon that feedback and askourselves this question.
What might be true about it?
Because when we ask ourselveswhat might be true about that
particular feedback we got, itallows us to stop reacting and
(05:24):
to start thinking about thatfeedback objectively to where it
can help us grow.
So there's different types offeedback, okay?
There is performance-basedfeedback.
What you did, how well you didyour job.
That kind of feedback ismeasurable, it is
(05:44):
outcome-oriented, it istask-focused.
But there's also perceptionfeedback.
That perception feedback isabout how you're seen.
It is relational, it is based onhow others experience you.
Now, throughout my career,throughout my instructional
(06:05):
coaching career, but also mycorporate coaching career, when
we go to give feedback, we wantto make sure we ground that in
evidence.
I've seen, I've heard, I'vewitnessed, I saw, I observed,
versus I feel, I think.
(06:25):
We want to make sure we presentthat feedback from a very
evident-centric position.
For you at the mid-career level,if as you're moving up your
leadership ranks here, mostoften mid-career leaders only
focus on the performance typefeedback.
(06:47):
But let's not forget thatpromotions also depend on
perception.
How you are perceived, yourbrand, your reputation.
It all goes into asking thequestion that those leaders are
going to be asking of themselvesand evaluating you, which is,
can we see you in this nextrole?
(07:09):
Are you the best person to moveto this next level?
You might be a mid-careerprofessional who never misses a
deadline.
They trust you to deliver thosethings on time.
But if you are perceived assomeone who is overly cautious
or takes a lot of time in doingthings, maybe even hard to
(07:33):
approach, that perception mayimpact certain opportunities you
may have down the road.
So how can you learn about whatyour perception is based on how
others experience you at work?
(07:54):
Well, here's the key.
If you're multitasking, comeback to me here for a moment.
Because the key here is to askfor better feedback.
Now, in an ideal world, I feellike I'm getting ready to do a
movie thing.
In a perfect world.
No.
(08:14):
In an ideal situation, you'regoing to have a leader that's
going to give you incredible,robust, rich feedback.
Well, that just doesn't happenwith everybody.
So you have to own where youare, and you're going to show up
and you're going to ask betterquestions that are going to help
get you better information.
So one of the things that Iremember people on my team,
(08:37):
especially some of the juniorpeople on my team, would come
and they would say, Do you haveany feedback for me?
And I would go, oh.
And they go, What?
And I go, Oh, I hate thatquestion.
And they're like, Oh, you don'tlike giving feedback?
I'm like, no, I don't know whatto give you.
Like, what kind of feedback doyou want?
Don't give me some vaguequestion about do you have any
(08:59):
feedback for me?
Tell me specifically what youwant to know.
It's asking questions like, onthis last project, what's one
thing I could do differentlythat would make a better impact?
When have I been at my best onthis project?
When could I have improved?
(09:22):
Or what's one way I could makeyour job easier or for us to
collaborate better?
Asking questions that arespecific and situational lead to
much more actionable answers andprovide you with better
feedback.
As always, feedback should betimely.
(09:42):
So if you've wrapped up aproject, you want to make sure
you get someone's feedback assoon as possible as that as that
project has closed.
Rather than waiting three, six,nine months afterward, you come
up on a performance review andbe like, hey, I'd love to know
your thoughts about how I did onthat on that project.
It's too far away.
They're not going to remember.
(10:03):
Right.
So this is where you, as theemployee, right?
As the as the subordinate, ifyou will, that's reporting to
somebody, this is where you canuse your check-in meanings more
strategically.
Hey, can I get a quick read fromyou on this?
See, the goal here is for bothyou and your leader, your
(10:27):
supervisor, your manager,whoever that is.
The goal here is for you tocollectively make feedback a
normal part of your regularcheck-in conversations.
When you do that, it stopsfeeling like it's a performance
review.
And it starts feeling like youare being professionally curious
(10:51):
and wanting to move toward thatnext step.
Now, feedback is not alwayseasy.
It is not always easy to give,nor is it always easy to hear.
And one of the great thingsabout Sherry's book, How to Say
Anything to Anyone, is she'lltalk about how when people emote
(11:14):
from getting feedback, they'rejust breathing, they're just
reacting.
So people could be happy, theycould be sad, they could be
angry, they could cry.
They're just emoting, they arebreathing.
That is all it is.
Okay.
So we want to acknowledge thatfor whoever receiving the
(11:36):
feedback, they may have areaction to it.
That's okay.
And if it's a reaction where youdon't necessarily want to talk
about it at that given time,make an appointment 24 hours
later and circle back to thatconversation.
But if you're in a leadershiprole, if you are directly
responsible for leading talentwithin your organization, please
(11:59):
do your team members a favor anddon't say things like, We need
you to be more strategic.
Okay.
What you need to do is be morespecific about what that
strategy looks like.
Now, if you're on the receivingend of it and your leader says
to you, hey, you need to be morestrategic, say, great.
(12:21):
Can you share an example of whatthat would look like given the
last project or given my currentworkload?
Okay.
Negative feedback is not fatal.
It is not going to kill you.
That feedback, as Sherry says,feedback that is designed to
change behavior, is like thatleader sharing or showing a
(12:44):
spotlight for where you need togo.
Okay.
It is also understandable youmay feel defensive when you
receive that feedback.
I didn't do that.
I don't believe that's true.
You're getting feedback for areason.
If you believe that feedback iscoming from a good place, it is
(13:06):
coming from someone you trust.
You have an opportunity to thinkabout that feedback and dissect
which part of that is valuable,what part of that needs some
clarification.
What can you let go?
I want you to walk away fromthat feedback conversation with
the clarity about what you needto do moving forward.
(13:30):
It's not just like yoursupervisor dumps off some
feedback to you, and you go,okay, I'll incorporate that.
You are allowed to have aconversation around it.
There should be a dialogue aboutit.
Okay.
I have I have worked withpeople, I've worked with clients
who have received feedback aboutthem being too abrupt or
(13:54):
aggressive.
Or one time the word was gruffin how they handled a meeting.
And they were like, I'm justtrying to get things done.
I don't understand it.
And I and I would coach them andI would be like, okay, so
where's the disconnect?
Why aren't you getting theclarity in terms of exactly what
(14:17):
that person means when theydeliver that feedback?
And they're like, Well, I don'tknow.
I can't remember the exact partin the meeting.
And they just say, that's justmy overall tone.
Okay, so what is it about yourtone?
What can we get clarity aroundabout how you're delivering that
information in a meeting thatsome people may be thinking
you're being a little aggressiveor gruff or unapproachable?
(14:43):
My wish for you is you leavethat feedback conversation with
the clarity you need about whatit means for you to move
forward.
That's where feedback ishelpful, right?
It allows for us to take thatinto consideration and to decide
what it is we want to do withit.
(15:04):
Now, whether it be on your teamthat you're leading or a team
that you're a part of, look atthe feedback culture within that
team.
This is a clear indication ofwhere your organizational
culture is regarding thatfeedback, and, and this is
important, and where you maychoose to shift or change that
(15:27):
feedback culture because of yourparticular goals.
Getting to a place where we cannormalize feedback, feedback, as
Sherry Harley says, aboutmaintaining behavior or shifting
behavior.
Creates a culture where peopleare able to talk to each other
from a very trustworthy andgiving place.
(15:49):
That feedback ultimately thenallows you to grow.
Oftentimes we think the feedbackis something like, why didn't I
get promoted?
That's not feedback, that's ananswer based on a question you
provided.
(16:10):
Where did I not meet thecompetencies necessary for this
level?
Where did I fall short in myperformance review?
If I were to focus on one or twothings in the next 12 months to
improve my visibility withinthis organization, what feedback
can you give me to help me bemore ready or more prepared to
(16:34):
elevate to the next level?
Those are much better questionsto ask that hopefully you will
get much better answers in termsof the feedback that you are
looking for.
So as we wrap up this episode,all right, what I want you to
(16:55):
think about is this.
What is a piece of feedback youhave received within the last
three, six, twelve months thatyou've resisted that might
actually help you grow?
Where have you received a pieceof feedback that you've been
reluctant to incorporate?
(17:18):
I want you to think about thatfeedback.
And then I want you to decidewhat part of that feedback do
you want to keep, which part, ifany, of that feedback do you
want to clarify?
And which part of that feedbackdo you need to let go?
Right?
Feedback is not meant to defineyou.
(17:39):
Feedback is meant to refine you,to help you become the better
leader and mid-careerprofessional you are, and the
more you practice receiving it,the faster you'll grow, and the
clearer you become as aprofessional and a leader.
But even more importantly, myfriends, the more you practice
(18:03):
it in a timely manner that isclear and clean, that is
intended to maintain or shiftbehavior, that, as Sherry Harley
says, does not include anypersonal agenda, that is
designed with the bestintentions to improve that
(18:25):
employee's performance.
You have to practice giving andreceiving feedback and making it
something that is just part ofwho you are and how you lead and
how you do things.
So, feedback isn't personal,it's data.
(18:46):
Performance and perceptionfeedback both matter.
And I want to invite you to becurious about the feedback you
get.
Ask clarifying questions so youare certain about what is being
asked of you and how you canperform.
So, if this episode resonatedwith you, do me a favor.
(19:07):
Text the link of this podcast tosomeone, invite them to join,
follow, subscribe, listen tothis podcast, come part of this
podcast that continues to growevery single week because of
people like you.
I thank you for listening.
And if you want to come in andjoin and be a part of my
newsletter community, all yougot to do, johnnarrell.com
forward slash resources, orcheck the show notes or my
(19:30):
LinkedIn profile for a link tojoin the newsletter community.
So until next time, my friends,remember this.
You will build your mid-careerGPS one mile or one step at a
time, and how you show upmatters.
Make it a great rest of yourday.
Thank you for listening to theMid Career GPS Podcast.
(19:53):
Make sure to follow on yourfavorite listening platform.
And if you have a moment, I'dlove to hear your comments on
Apple Podcasts.
Visit johnnarrell.com for moreinformation about how I can help
you build your Mid-Career GPS,or how I can help you and your
organization with your nextworkshop or public speaking
event.
Don't forget to connect with meon LinkedIn and follow me on
(20:16):
social at John Darrell Coaching.
I look forward to being backwith you next week.
Until then, take care.
And remember, how we show upmatters.
When was the last time someone gave you honest
feedback that actually helpedyou grow?
You know, something more than,hey, you're doing great.
Just keep up the great work.
If it's been a while, you're notalone.
See, many mid-careerprofessionals feel like feedback
disappears once they hit acertain level.
(00:21):
Managers assume that you alreadyknow what to do, or they're not
equipped to have the hard,difficult, and more importantly,
intentional conversations togive you the feedback you need
to grow.
See, without feedback, ourgrowth slows.
And so does our visibility fornew opportunities.
(00:43):
Today, I'll walk you through howto restart that feedback loop,
how to ask for and use feedbackeffectively, and how to turn
that feedback into your mostpowerful leadership and career
accelerator.
Are you ready?
Let's get started.
(01:16):
I help mid-career professionalslike you find a career they love
or love the one they have usingmy proven four-step formula.
If you're looking for somethingmore than this podcast, I want
to invite you to join theMidCareer GPS newsletter.
It's my free weekly newsletteremail community.
You can come in and getleadership and career guidance
(01:38):
and information, tactics,strategies, anything you want.
It's all free.
It's available on my website atjohnner.com forward slash
resources.
This episode is very importantto me because throughout my
entire career, feedback has beenthe thing that has driven and
(01:59):
propelled my growth.
Now, I didn't always get thegreatest feedback, nor did I
always give the best feedbackeither.
But as I grew and as I gotbetter and I led more
effectively, using feedback isthat thing that truly is a
tremendous catalyst for change.
Now, I want to offer right hereat the top, if you have never
(02:22):
read the book, How to SayAnything to Anyone by Sherry
Harley, S-H-A-R-I.
Harley is H-A-R-L-E-Y.
It is a fantastic book.
I want to say it was publishedaround 2012.
I remember reading her book on aflight across the country.
I was headed toward a workmeeting and I got off that plane
(02:43):
and I thought, I need toimplement this with my team
immediately.
So if you're ever looking forsome strategies and tactics on
how to deliver feedback clearlyand cleanly, Sherry's book, How
to Say Anything to Anyone, is atremendous resource.
I invite you to go get thatbook.
When we give feedback, and thiscomes out of Sherry's book, she
(03:07):
says that we give feedback fortwo reasons.
It is either to maintainbehavior or to shift behavior.
But when we give feedback,feedback can be emotional.
Feedback can often triggeremotion because it somehow hits
that thing in us that we eitherdidn't do a great job or we did
(03:31):
an outstanding job.
See, feedback is judgment.
Feedback is someone's judgmentor evaluation on something we
did.
And in the workplace, especiallywhen that feedback is coming
from somebody who has theauthority to impact or influence
whether we get promoted or howmuch of a raise or bonus we get,
(03:54):
feedback can sting.
It can sting because it can feellike judgment and it challenges
how we see ourselves.
It is far easier said than doneto find a way to depersonalize
that feedback and turn it intoinformation we can use.
But it's difficult to not thinkin that moment that someone's
(04:17):
attacking us or criticizing us.
But what I want you to considerhere is that as a mid-career
professional who is looking tomove from that manager level,
maybe you're at a seniordirector level and you're eyeing
more senior leadership orexecutive level positions,
feedback can be like a mirror.
(04:39):
And it's that opportunity for usto reflect on something to help
us see what's going to be next.
Feedback is all about intention.
So when we get feedback, ourbrain wants to take us through
all these things like they don'tlike us, they hate our work,
they're out to get us.
We got to quiet our brain down.
(05:00):
And we quiet our brain down in amoment to sit there and reflect
upon that feedback and askourselves this question.
What might be true about it?
Because when we ask ourselveswhat might be true about that
particular feedback we got, itallows us to stop reacting and
(05:24):
to start thinking about thatfeedback objectively to where it
can help us grow.
So there's different types offeedback, okay?
There is performance-basedfeedback.
What you did, how well you didyour job.
That kind of feedback ismeasurable, it is
(05:44):
outcome-oriented, it istask-focused.
But there's also perceptionfeedback.
That perception feedback isabout how you're seen.
It is relational, it is based onhow others experience you.
Now, throughout my career,throughout my instructional
(06:05):
coaching career, but also mycorporate coaching career, when
we go to give feedback, we wantto make sure we ground that in
evidence.
I've seen, I've heard, I'vewitnessed, I saw, I observed,
versus I feel, I think.
(06:25):
We want to make sure we presentthat feedback from a very
evident-centric position.
For you at the mid-career level,if as you're moving up your
leadership ranks here, mostoften mid-career leaders only
focus on the performance typefeedback.
(06:47):
But let's not forget thatpromotions also depend on
perception.
How you are perceived, yourbrand, your reputation.
It all goes into asking thequestion that those leaders are
going to be asking of themselvesand evaluating you, which is,
can we see you in this nextrole?
(07:09):
Are you the best person to moveto this next level?
You might be a mid-careerprofessional who never misses a
deadline.
They trust you to deliver thosethings on time.
But if you are perceived assomeone who is overly cautious
or takes a lot of time in doingthings, maybe even hard to
(07:33):
approach, that perception mayimpact certain opportunities you
may have down the road.
So how can you learn about whatyour perception is based on how
others experience you at work?
(07:54):
Well, here's the key.
If you're multitasking, comeback to me here for a moment.
Because the key here is to askfor better feedback.
Now, in an ideal world, I feellike I'm getting ready to do a
movie thing.
In a perfect world.
No.
(08:14):
In an ideal situation, you'regoing to have a leader that's
going to give you incredible,robust, rich feedback.
Well, that just doesn't happenwith everybody.
So you have to own where youare, and you're going to show up
and you're going to ask betterquestions that are going to help
get you better information.
So one of the things that Iremember people on my team,
(08:37):
especially some of the juniorpeople on my team, would come
and they would say, Do you haveany feedback for me?
And I would go, oh.
And they go, What?
And I go, Oh, I hate thatquestion.
And they're like, Oh, you don'tlike giving feedback?
I'm like, no, I don't know whatto give you.
Like, what kind of feedback doyou want?
Don't give me some vaguequestion about do you have any
(08:59):
feedback for me?
Tell me specifically what youwant to know.
It's asking questions like, onthis last project, what's one
thing I could do differentlythat would make a better impact?
When have I been at my best onthis project?
When could I have improved?
(09:22):
Or what's one way I could makeyour job easier or for us to
collaborate better?
Asking questions that arespecific and situational lead to
much more actionable answers andprovide you with better
feedback.
As always, feedback should betimely.
(09:42):
So if you've wrapped up aproject, you want to make sure
you get someone's feedback assoon as possible as that as that
project has closed.
Rather than waiting three, six,nine months afterward, you come
up on a performance review andbe like, hey, I'd love to know
your thoughts about how I did onthat on that project.
It's too far away.
They're not going to remember.
(10:03):
Right.
So this is where you, as theemployee, right?
As the as the subordinate, ifyou will, that's reporting to
somebody, this is where you canuse your check-in meanings more
strategically.
Hey, can I get a quick read fromyou on this?
See, the goal here is for bothyou and your leader, your
(10:27):
supervisor, your manager,whoever that is.
The goal here is for you tocollectively make feedback a
normal part of your regularcheck-in conversations.
When you do that, it stopsfeeling like it's a performance
review.
And it starts feeling like youare being professionally curious
(10:51):
and wanting to move toward thatnext step.
Now, feedback is not alwayseasy.
It is not always easy to give,nor is it always easy to hear.
And one of the great thingsabout Sherry's book, How to Say
Anything to Anyone, is she'lltalk about how when people emote
(11:14):
from getting feedback, they'rejust breathing, they're just
reacting.
So people could be happy, theycould be sad, they could be
angry, they could cry.
They're just emoting, they arebreathing.
That is all it is.
Okay.
So we want to acknowledge thatfor whoever receiving the
(11:36):
feedback, they may have areaction to it.
That's okay.
And if it's a reaction where youdon't necessarily want to talk
about it at that given time,make an appointment 24 hours
later and circle back to thatconversation.
But if you're in a leadershiprole, if you are directly
responsible for leading talentwithin your organization, please
(11:59):
do your team members a favor anddon't say things like, We need
you to be more strategic.
Okay.
What you need to do is be morespecific about what that
strategy looks like.
Now, if you're on the receivingend of it and your leader says
to you, hey, you need to be morestrategic, say, great.
(12:21):
Can you share an example of whatthat would look like given the
last project or given my currentworkload?
Okay.
Negative feedback is not fatal.
It is not going to kill you.
That feedback, as Sherry says,feedback that is designed to
change behavior, is like thatleader sharing or showing a
(12:44):
spotlight for where you need togo.
Okay.
It is also understandable youmay feel defensive when you
receive that feedback.
I didn't do that.
I don't believe that's true.
You're getting feedback for areason.
If you believe that feedback iscoming from a good place, it is
(13:06):
coming from someone you trust.
You have an opportunity to thinkabout that feedback and dissect
which part of that is valuable,what part of that needs some
clarification.
What can you let go?
I want you to walk away fromthat feedback conversation with
the clarity about what you needto do moving forward.
(13:30):
It's not just like yoursupervisor dumps off some
feedback to you, and you go,okay, I'll incorporate that.
You are allowed to have aconversation around it.
There should be a dialogue aboutit.
Okay.
I have I have worked withpeople, I've worked with clients
who have received feedback aboutthem being too abrupt or
(13:54):
aggressive.
Or one time the word was gruffin how they handled a meeting.
And they were like, I'm justtrying to get things done.
I don't understand it.
And I and I would coach them andI would be like, okay, so
where's the disconnect?
Why aren't you getting theclarity in terms of exactly what
(14:17):
that person means when theydeliver that feedback?
And they're like, Well, I don'tknow.
I can't remember the exact partin the meeting.
And they just say, that's justmy overall tone.
Okay, so what is it about yourtone?
What can we get clarity aroundabout how you're delivering that
information in a meeting thatsome people may be thinking
you're being a little aggressiveor gruff or unapproachable?
(14:43):
My wish for you is you leavethat feedback conversation with
the clarity you need about whatit means for you to move
forward.
That's where feedback ishelpful, right?
It allows for us to take thatinto consideration and to decide
what it is we want to do withit.
(15:04):
Now, whether it be on your teamthat you're leading or a team
that you're a part of, look atthe feedback culture within that
team.
This is a clear indication ofwhere your organizational
culture is regarding thatfeedback, and, and this is
important, and where you maychoose to shift or change that
(15:27):
feedback culture because of yourparticular goals.
Getting to a place where we cannormalize feedback, feedback, as
Sherry Harley says, aboutmaintaining behavior or shifting
behavior.
Creates a culture where peopleare able to talk to each other
from a very trustworthy andgiving place.
(15:49):
That feedback ultimately thenallows you to grow.
Oftentimes we think the feedbackis something like, why didn't I
get promoted?
That's not feedback, that's ananswer based on a question you
provided.
(16:10):
Where did I not meet thecompetencies necessary for this
level?
Where did I fall short in myperformance review?
If I were to focus on one or twothings in the next 12 months to
improve my visibility withinthis organization, what feedback
can you give me to help me bemore ready or more prepared to
(16:34):
elevate to the next level?
Those are much better questionsto ask that hopefully you will
get much better answers in termsof the feedback that you are
looking for.
So as we wrap up this episode,all right, what I want you to
(16:55):
think about is this.
What is a piece of feedback youhave received within the last
three, six, twelve months thatyou've resisted that might
actually help you grow?
Where have you received a pieceof feedback that you've been
reluctant to incorporate?
(17:18):
I want you to think about thatfeedback.
And then I want you to decidewhat part of that feedback do
you want to keep, which part, ifany, of that feedback do you
want to clarify?
And which part of that feedbackdo you need to let go?
Right?
Feedback is not meant to defineyou.
(17:39):
Feedback is meant to refine you,to help you become the better
leader and mid-careerprofessional you are, and the
more you practice receiving it,the faster you'll grow, and the
clearer you become as aprofessional and a leader.
But even more importantly, myfriends, the more you practice
(18:03):
it in a timely manner that isclear and clean, that is
intended to maintain or shiftbehavior, that, as Sherry Harley
says, does not include anypersonal agenda, that is
designed with the bestintentions to improve that
(18:25):
employee's performance.
You have to practice giving andreceiving feedback and making it
something that is just part ofwho you are and how you lead and
how you do things.
So, feedback isn't personal,it's data.
(18:46):
Performance and perceptionfeedback both matter.
And I want to invite you to becurious about the feedback you
get.
Ask clarifying questions so youare certain about what is being
asked of you and how you canperform.
So, if this episode resonatedwith you, do me a favor.
(19:07):
Text the link of this podcast tosomeone, invite them to join,
follow, subscribe, listen tothis podcast, come part of this
podcast that continues to growevery single week because of
people like you.
I thank you for listening.
And if you want to come in andjoin and be a part of my
newsletter community, all yougot to do, johnnarrell.com
forward slash resources, orcheck the show notes or my
(19:30):
LinkedIn profile for a link tojoin the newsletter community.
So until next time, my friends,remember this.
You will build your mid-careerGPS one mile or one step at a
time, and how you show upmatters.
Make it a great rest of yourday.
Thank you for listening to theMid Career GPS Podcast.
(19:53):
Make sure to follow on yourfavorite listening platform.
And if you have a moment, I'dlove to hear your comments on
Apple Podcasts.
Visit johnnarrell.com for moreinformation about how I can help
you build your Mid-Career GPS,or how I can help you and your
organization with your nextworkshop or public speaking
event.
Don't forget to connect with meon LinkedIn and follow me on
(20:16):
social at John Darrell Coaching.
I look forward to being backwith you next week.
Until then, take care.
And remember, how we show upmatters.
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