IFYL2GO: Learn Before 30; Banned Hula Hoops; Take the Workout Selfie

In this episode we discuss:

In-Laws Therapy.

Make time for nothing.

You know Jack.

And many more topics.

Stream the John Tesh Sports Album now. Available on all platforms.

For more information, and to sign up for our private coaching, visit tesh.com

Our Hosts:
John Tesh: Instagram: @johntesh_ifyl facebook.com/JohnTesh
Gib Gerard: Instagram: @GibGerard facebook.com/GibGerard X: @GibGerard

Episode Transcript

Unknown (00:46):
Gib, hello and welcome to another episode of the
podcast. I'm Gib Gerard herewith one of my favorite things
that we do this. This is acollection of pieces of John and
myself talking on the radio. Sowe call it Intel to go. You take
the stuff that we do on theradio and we mix it up, chop it

(01:06):
up in one single location foryou guys to put in your pocket
and take with you wherever yougo. I like it. This is, this is
the best. This is what I like togive you guys. All right, so
here, without further ado, it'sme and
John Tesh, all right, Gib, thisjust in from a poll of
relationship coaches, they saythat one in five couples now

(01:28):
come to therapy solely to dealwith their in laws. That seems,
that seems low. I think,yeah, I think some people are
lying well or or they have otherissues too, but I feel like way
more than half, and theydiscover that it's because, like
the in laws is it's for only for20% of people. Is it just the in
laws? Is why they're coming infor everybody else, in laws is

(01:48):
on the list. It may just may notbe top of the list.
But is it, is it husband andwife, or is it the in laws in
there, too?
I doubt they're bringing the inlaws in, because if they had a
good enough relationship withthe in laws to bring them in,
then maybe they probably don'tneed to have the conversation.
The meddling grandparents isalso the meddling.

(02:10):
But look, what it comes down tois, look, people have all kinds
of different relationships withwith their in laws. They are
fraught. You didn't choose thosepeople. Those people came as a
package deal with the person.
You did. Choose what you have todo in order to survive it. And
this is where therapists arereally, can really earn their
money, is you have to come upwith what your boundaries are as
a couple, as a as a miniaturefamily, so that you can exercise

(02:33):
those boundaries together, inunison with the rest of the in
laws and the Outlaws part of thefamily.
I think the passive aggressivephrase grew out of the in law
thing. I think everything wasinvented by in laws. Oh, 100%
Oh, that's how you're choosingto raise your children. Okay,
but I would do classic Giband I were talking about this on

(02:55):
the coaching call just today.
It's about motivation, and it'sAccording to the Journal of
Experimental Psychology, it'sbasically, if you need more
motivation, you need to payattention to the successful
people around you, theindustrious people. When we see
or hear somebody running fasteror working out harder or just
being more industrious at theirdesk, we subconsciously try to

(03:19):
keep up. We're competitive bynature, so you can use that to
your advantage. Looking at therunner next to you, for example,
can motivate you to go fasterand further. I've seen it in the
gym.
Look this is why, you know, Iyou and I both have gyms in our
house. We bought a bunch ofweights. We can lift weights at
home at any time we want, butboth of us prefer to go to a gym
because you're motivated by thepeople next to you. It's also

(03:39):
why people like to work atcoffee shops, and it's why run
clubs are so popular around thecountry. It's over and over and
over again we are reminded thatwe are social animals, and we
thrive with a little bit offriendly competition. We thrive
when we are pushed. And there isthere is nothing that you can do
that will match that you can tryto cheat the system. You can go

(03:59):
and find YouTube videos of veryactive offices. You can find,
you know, the YouTube videoshave the sounds of people
working, and you can apply it toyour own life, if you want
to, and to your example, there'sa Starbucks. It's not far from
this studio, and just outside ofthe desk every day is one of the
most powerful attorneys in LosAngeles, right there every day,

(04:20):
and he's grinding out. And hewants to, he wants people to see
that he's working hard. He wantsto be pushed by other people who
are working hard. There it is,hey, Gib, this just in people
are posting lists on socialmedia, and the headline is,
quote, skills everybody shouldlearn before turning 30. Okay,
so see what you think of these.
What is a skill everybody shouldlearn before turning 30, the
internet said, the poll said,swimming. Yeah, apparently it's

(04:41):
crazy. How many adults whoregularly surround themselves
with water cannot swim.
Look, you got to know how toswim. In case you're at a garden
party and you fall into the fishpond. I mean, whatever. You
can't. You can't live your wholelife without going by water. All
the cities are built on water.
All of the farmland has to, hasto route water. And there are,
you know, if you're not by theocean, you're by a quarry, and

(05:03):
the quarry don't follow thequarry. If you can't swim, you
got to learn how to swim.
Oh, when I was in college, Iused to, I used to teach at the,
I don't think you know this, atthe YMCA. I used to teach adult
swimming. And it was amazing howterrified the people were who
are like 3040, years old, whodidn't have to swim, oh, because
they've lived their whole livesworried if they fall. Right?

(05:24):
Yeah. Also, a skill you shouldlearn before 30 is basic
cooking, being able to cook fouror five proper dishes, since you
need to eat every day, and ifyou want a date, you need to
impress your date. Look, it alsois a great way to save money.
You need to be able to cook, andyou can. Even if you're single
and you're not cooking for a lotof people, meal prep, and
knowing how to cook a few thingsfor meal prep is hugely, hugely
beneficial.

(05:45):
The last thing to learn beforeyou're 30 is how to apologize,
according to this poll,sincerely taking accountability
without excuses or defensivedefensiveness. So this is not an
apology. I'm sorry. You feelthat?
Oh no, it's not an apology. I'msorry. You think I need to
apologize? Also not an apology,and absolutely something that
not I don't care what age youare, we have to learn it

(06:07):
time for some exercise. Intel,Gib, if you're walking for
exercise, experts say you needto ditch your romantic partner
and go solo, because couples whowalk together for exercise don't
get the health boost they'rehoping for. Purdue University
studying this, they found bothpartners slow down compared to
when they're walking alone,especially if they hold hands.
We've talked about this before.
My romantic partner, wife of 33years, leaves me in the dust.

(06:28):
She has some sort of perpetualmotion thing with her legs. I
cannot walk with her. Okay? Ican't even find her. Yes.
Was she? She's a fast walker,which I respect. I understand
she's going to be walking fast.
I also understand that somepeople, when they hold hands,
they like to slow down a littlebit. She will slow down for
nothing. So you're you, you'renot. I need handcuffs exactly,

(06:50):
however. Let me just say thatwhether your your spouse, is a
slow walker, a fast walker,whether you hold hands or not. I
always say this on all of ourcoaching calls constantly the
exercises that the exercise thatyou will do regularly is the
best exercise you can do. So ifwalking alone is something you
won't do, then obviously walkingwith your romantic partner a

(07:12):
little bit slower while holdinghands is better than not walking
at all. If you are trying to,like, level up and you're
training for a marathon, yeah,don't hold hands and walk with
your partner. With your partner.
If you see a couple on thestreet and you see that the
guy's being dragged behind thewoman, that's you. Here we go.
Gib, with the latest fromProfessor Barbara Oakley from
Oakland. Oh, that's cool.
Barbara Oakley from OaklandUniversity Captain him. She

(07:33):
says, If you want to be morecreative and productive, you
need to make time to doabsolutely nothing. Oh, you
studied this. She says, juststaring out the window for a few
minutes helps your brainreinforce long term memory. So
she says, the way to reset yourchart and recharge your brain
two things. One we've talkedabout before, take a tech free
walk is number one. That meansno Fitbit, no counting steps,

(07:56):
because it creates tension.
Instead, just wander and absorbthe scenery, phone free.
Yes, absolutely. Look, we arenot bored enough. We are not
disconnected enough, and we donot actually rest enough. We
tell ourselves that we're takinga break, and then we check our
emails on our phone. We tellourselves we're going to pause

(08:16):
on a project, and then we gowork on something else. And
look, that's great if you are inthe middle of a flow state and
you're trying to get a lot done.
There is a time and a place forthat, but we also need a time to
rest. You need to unplug and notbe stimulated. And a tech free
walk is really important with nocaveats, no, I just got to get
my steps in. You're Not You gotto have time where you're not
trying to accomplish anything.

(08:38):
Here's another one of hertechniques, and we've given this
tip, take a shower. It's easy tolet your mind wander while
you're doing something routine,like showering. That's the
Aaron's even in the middle of aday. Aaron Sorkin, he takes four
or five four or five showers aday when he's in the middle of a
writing project, because ithelps his mind wander. He
cultivates the boredom and itgives him the creative
breakthroughs he's looking for.
Nice John teshuva, Gib Gerard,and if you want to make it

(09:01):
easier to reach your fitnessgoals, experts say, start taking
workout selfies. Oh, yeah, notlike our friend Scotty Myers,
who sends them to us all thetime. But researchers tried
nearly 300 people to see whatmotivated them to get into
shape. Those who took full bodyphotos every week, not
necessarily sending them toother people, but just having
them, yeah, it turns out you cansee the gradual changes in your

(09:23):
body. So you snap the workoutselfie, and if anybody teases
you, tell them, it keeps youmotivated.
It is. It's exactly why you needit for the motivation we do not.
We need to have an honest lookat ourselves. It is very
motivating for us to do thelittle things that make us a
little bit better. So you needto have, you need to have an
honest look about what yourskill set is. You can grow your
skill set in your career. Youhave to have an honest look at

(09:44):
your body before you go to thegym to understand that, oh my
gosh, yes, I do need to work onthis. I do need to progress. And
this does not mean that youcan't be happy with who you are
and who you are like withyourself, but it does mean that
if you want to be motivated anhonest look. This is why we tell
people to put a mirror in frontof their refrigerator, right? So
that when they go to reach forthe snack, they're reminding
themselves, do I need the do Ineed the snack? It's just a

(10:07):
little, a little tweak thatmakes you self aware.
That's why I have towels overevery one of the mirrors in my
house. I don't have to deal withit. This just in five and six
Americans Gib five out of sixAmericans under the age of 18
have never used a postage stamp.
I have to tell you, I have noidea how much a postage stamp
is. Now, with the average one, Idon't have no idea how much it
takes to send a letter.

(10:29):
How about you? Well, the realityis, is that many of us are sent.
We send all of our stuffelectronically. Now, right? So
we very and if we're going tosend something, we want to send.
Something material, which meanswe go to the place, we get the
box, and we have to get itweighed, and then they send it.
So postage stamps are not usedas commonly anymore, unless
you're inviting someone to awedding, and even those are done
by evite Now, very often youpeople are not sending the

(10:53):
amount of letters that they usedto send. You can get one forever
stamp, depending on I have. Thelast time I bought stamps and I
bought a bunch, I think theywere 27 cents each, and and I
remember when I was so it's soit works forever. They're called
forever. Since then, you don'thave to change. You can have a
pile of stamps, and then youhave to get those little one and
two set stamps. But they, butthey, the price of them does

(11:14):
actually increase over time. Butwhat you paid for them is fixed,
and now they're self adhesive.
So there's all kinds ofinnovation
in the stamp world. So I couldbuy a whole bunch of stamps,
like 1000 stamps, and then,like, in 10 years, I could be,
like, I'd be in a stampbusiness.
Yes, you know, there's, there'sa thing called stamp collecting
that banks on this exactconcept, not because it's

(11:36):
useful. It's because, you know,might be a philatelist or a new
domesticist.
Numismatism is coin collecting.
Oh, I think thisis philatelist. Let us know.
Folks, Gib, I went through thislast night because I made the
mistake of, I thought that, youknow, watching a part of a movie
would put me to sleep, and itwas too intense, probably too
much blue light. The journalfrontiers in psychiatry says

(11:59):
looking at your phone or tabletin bed for an hour, even if
you're looking at emails,increases the risk of insomnia
by nearly 60% Oh, absolutely.
Look, we have a sleep crisis.
Nobody is getting the right kindof sleep the right amount, and
we have all kinds of healthconsequences associated with it.
So we need as a group, as asociety, we need to emphasize

(12:19):
good sleep hygiene. And one ofthe things that we say over and
over and over and over again, inaddition to cutting out caffeine
in the afternoon, in addition toin addition to not having a big
fatty meal before within acouple hours of bed, the number
one thing we should all bedoing, and none of us does this
last one. None of us pausesbefore bed and make sure that

(12:42):
we're not looking at screens forat least an hour before bed. And
that is like that is one of theif you come to me and you say
you have a bed you're having ahard time with your sleep
schedule, that's gonna be thefirst thing I ask is, how much
are you on your phone rightbefore sleep?
Amen to that. All right, here'sa conversation starter for you.
It turns out because somebodydid the data on this, Jack is

(13:04):
the most common male charactersname in movie scripts and your
movie though. So So JackReacher, of course. Yeah. Jack
Ryan from from all of those Tomfancy, clear and present danger
Patriot Games.
Jack Torrance in the in theshining, yeah. And then remember
the lead character in theTitanic, played by Gerard

(13:26):
DiCaprio. It's Jack, yeah, JackDawson. Jack Dawson, yeah. And
there's the list just goes onand on. I wonder, I wonder why
I can say, well, first of all,Jack is one of those names that
is not. It does not stand outwhen you are even if it's a
period piece, we feel like Jackis a name that exists now. It
existed 50 years ago. It existed50 years before that. So one

(13:48):
it's easy. As an audience, ifyou're writing something, you
know you're not going to takethe audience out by naming the
character Jack. The other thingis, as a writer, as somebody who
hangs out with a lot of writers,a lot of times when you're
starting your story, you don'tknow what to name your
characters, so you've put aplaceholder name in there, and
it becomes jack, and then you'reand then you fall in love with
the character you've beenwriting it, and it just stays
Jack. Yeah, I'm surprisedthere's not more Diane's. Yeah,

(14:11):
exactlyJohn Cougar Mellon did that for
us. Very good Gib, and I was,it's come back in America, the
hula hoop, and when I wasgrowing up, and that was the
thing. It was, it was hulahoops. It was, it was hopscotch,
it was pickup sticks. You know,that's what we grew up with,
people who remember that. Butwhat I didn't know is that the
over the years, the hula hoophas been banned in several

(14:32):
countries around the world. Why?
Because, quote, It simulatespassion. So it's the same reason
why Ed Sullivan didn't wantElvis on there. They wanted them
to shoot him from the waist up,because they didn't want to see
his hips.
The hip gyration simulatespassion. I think it's reason why
a lot of people should get hulahoops. That is, that is an

(14:56):
unbelievable thing.
I I have, no,we have, actually, here in the
house, we have a weighted one,weighted exercise.
It's good exercise. Andapparently, now we know that a
lot of countries think it's alsogood practice. So I'm gonna have
to pick up a couple hula hoopssee if I can do it. Yeah, the

(15:16):
hula hoop simulates passion. Ican't get all the way through
it, so I guess I'm not apassionate person. This is a
delicate way to prove Yes, Ilove it.
That's it for the show today.
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(15:38):
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