Kate's Nuggets

Your Inner Sage is capable of handling every situation you might encounter. All you have to do is learn how to put it in charge. In this episode, Kate helps you get to know this very powerful part of your consciousness. 

We all have subpersonalities, parts of our personality that function independently. If you have ever had the experience where you felt like one part of you wanted to do something and another part of you wan...

Many of our self-sabotaging behaviors are overactive responses to fear. In this episode, Kate describes the anatomy of fear and discusses how understanding that anatomy can help us learn more appropriate fear responses.

When our threat response system is engaged, we can’t think straight. We act reactively and without thought. If our threat response system is badly calibrated, we behave badly. Many of our reactive behaviors ...

We all belong exactly where we are, but we don’t always feel like we belong. In this episode, Kate describes a powerful way of increasing our felt sense of belonging.

If we don’t feel like we belong, we struggle.

It doesn’t matter whether we cognitively understand that we are a necessary part of all that is or how we fit in the systems that rely on us. If we don’t feel it, it isn’t real to us in a crucial way.

This is even mo...

One powerful way to overcome the disruptive effects of fear is through commitment. In this episode, Kate discusses some ways to think about and work with commitment.

Have you ever been so committed to something that no set-back was enough to stop you from trying? Heard stories of heroic rescues of children by their parents in the face of enormous dangers?

Commitment is a powerful motivator.

A strong enough commitment to som...

Emotions are messages from our non-cognitive intelligence about the state of our world and what actions we might want to take. We need to take them seriously, but we don’t want to be ruled by them.

When we are infants, our behaviours are instinctive reactions to emotions. We do not have any information about how the world works so there is no point in slowing down to think about what is going on. 

As we mature, we learn how ...

When life feels tough, it is more important than ever to have a practice of noticing the good that exists simultaneously.

In every moment, there are good and bad things happening in the world.

People naturally notice bad things more than good things. This can easily lead to a pessimistic outlook. Actively paying attention to the good things acts as a counterbalance.

In this episode, Kate looks at why it is important to prac...

There are so many self-care tools to choose from. How do you decide how to spend your time? If you understand which neurotransmitter is involved in the mood or experience you are trying to shift, it is easier to decide.

Different neurotransmitters mediate different emotional and behavioral subsystems. And different interventions affect different neurotransmitters. So when you are planning an intervention or a habit change, ...

It is one thing to be mindful and compassionate when things are calm, but how do we stay open and loving when the world is exploding around us? In this episode, Kate provides some ideas for practicing mindfulness in action.

Most of us have heard by now that mindfulness creates calm and allows us to stay non-reactive, but few of us have time to sit and meditate. In fact, the people who benefit from mindfulness the most typic...

One of the easiest ways to improve relationships is to celebrate each other’s joy whether we understand it or not. 

Sympathetic joy is the joy we feel when others' experience joy. We delight that they are delighted. We celebrate on their behalf.

When we are in the habit of celebrating other people’s successes and good fortune on their behalf, we increase our own experience of joy and reduce jealousy.

But more than that, cel...

We can get cut off from our natural compassionate natures because we didn’t know how to handle the tenderness. In this episode, Kate provides some tools for rekindling your compassion and managing the associated vulnerability.

Compassion for self and others is a key component of relationships that last. 

Although it is often said that one cannot love another without first loving oneself, it is often through loving another t...

How can you create the elegant simplicity and ease of grace when things are busy, complicated, or stressful?

Grace looks effortless. How can we maximize our sense of our own lives as elegant, generous, calm, and dignified?

In this episode, Kate introduces the concept of the Physicality of Grace, one of the major principles of InterPlay, a fun and playful way of accessing the wisdom of the body. She then offers a way of crea...

What can you do when lack of motivation to get started is stopping you from reaching your goals? 

When people aren’t meeting their goals because they are getting in their own way, there are several places they can get stuck. They may not know what to do differently. They may not be able to find the motivation to get started. They may need to develop some new or better skills. They may have trouble sticking with the process.

...

Too often, when we try to help people it doesn’t go well. We may not understand why they don’t take our feedback or advice. We feel unappreciated. Frequently, they feel patronized. In this episode, Kate offers an alternative approach.

When we help others, we often inadvertently create drama. Sometimes merely offering help creates drama. And this is despite the fact that we often have excellent intentions.

When we offer to he...

Kate shares 4 tools for quickly calming the emotional storm provoked by a crisis so you can avoid becoming paralyzed, or overreactive and can act with courage and clarity.

When a sudden challenge arrives in our lives, most of us compartmentalize our emotions, act out, or freeze. 

If we compartmentalize our feelings and deal with the crisis without feeling them, we can maintain a level of control that allows us to handle the ...

If we are afraid of being overwhelmed by our feelings, we avoid feeling them, at great cost to our mental health and our effectiveness. 

If we are not in the habit of feeling our feelings all the way to completion and letting them pass through us, they get stuck in our bodies.  

Unreleased feelings create a sense of pressure within us. When we start to feel some of our feelings, that pressure can push feelings from our past...

When we are able to observe ourselves as if from the perspective of an external witness, we are able to speed up our growth and personal development. In this episode, Kate shares tips on how to develop this inner power of self-observation.

Without the ability to observe ourselves clearly, we cannot gain enough perspective to determine whether we have the skills we need to accomplish our goals or whether we are being the per...

When we are overextended and want to give up or can't get motivated, there are some gentle, easy things we can do to help get us moving again.

In times of stress, it is common to have lots of focused momentum, to feel overwhelmed and unmotivated, or to swing between both.

There are two primary brain circuits that are responsible for those cycles. In thie episode, Kate discusses the difference between an adrenaline crash and ...

Having fun is more important than ever when things get rough. Here are some tips on enjoying the journey while minimizing unintended negative long-term consequences.

How can you find fun without ignoring the real challenges in this time? Many of the easy ways people have fun when they are stressed bring short-term relief and have negative long-term consequences. How can we play and have fun in ways that minimize unintended ...