Episode 62: Breaking the Silence: Finding Your Voice & Healing After Neglect & Abandonment.

Episode 62

Recorded: 3/3/25
Shared: 3/3/25

Sarah Rebecca from Christchurch shares her story of being one of the most neglected children in New Zealand in the 1990s. She went from neglect and abandonment into foster care, facing a journey filled with addiction, co-dependent relationships, and patterns of attracting toxic, unhealthy relationships.

She struggled with breaking old cycles, often seeking help for others rather than herself. Sarah did not love herself, lacked confidence and self-belief, and battled mental health challenges, emotional dysregulation, and reactivity. She frequently lashed out at others and disliked her own behaviour.

Through her healing journey, she began to understand who she attracted in relationships and how her own personal growth played a role in shifting these dynamics.

This episode explores:

• The support needed in the foster care system in both Australia and New Zealand.
• The importance of recognising healing as a process and feeling loved and supported along the way.
• The need for more holistic services and choices for foster families and children, such as QFT therapy, as traditional counselling and medication may not be the right fit for everyone.
• The role of self-regulation techniques learned at a younger age in building confidence and self-belief before adolescence and adulthood.

Sarah, now an author and speaker, is passionate about helping others. She believes in the power of holistic approaches to healing and sees potential for these to be introduced to foster parents and schools to better support young children.

Key lessons from Sarah’s journey:

• Boundaries matter – Not settling for less, choosing a healthy partner, and understanding that a strong relationship with oneself comes first.
• Overcoming people-pleasing – She used to feel angry, resentful, and used, craving love and validation while being treated poorly. Now, she respects herself, has attracted people who genuinely care about her, and has formed healthier friendships and relationships.
• Stepping into self-belief – She now has confidence, takes action, and believes in herself.

📘 Facebook: Sarah Rebecca

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might benefit.

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🌿 Facebook Group: Create Healthy Relationships Through Healing
🌐 Website: Liz Ross – With Elizabeth Ross
💬 Want to work with me? Book a FREE 30-minute consultation to see how I can help you: Elizabeth Ross Booking Link

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis or is unsafe, please seek help immediately:
📞 Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (available 24/7)
📞 Lifeline: 13 11 14
📞 1800 RESPECT: Support for family and domestic violence

🚨 In an emergency, call 000 for police, ambulance, or visit your local hospital emergency department.

For ongoing support, consider reaching out to your GP or a psychologist.

Thank you,
Liz Ross