October 17, 2023 • 20 mins
Ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders as you deal with the challenges of your 20s? Let's shatter the illusion of a 'perfectly mapped out life.' As I confess my trials and tribulations, while taking the leaps towards your passion that might sometimes lead to failure. But remember, these failures are the stepping stones to growth and resilience. As I share my heartaches and missteps, and most of all, something that I am extremely ashamed of and the worst mistake I have and will ever make, I can assure you, emerging from these trials will only make you stronger.
From an unfortunate encounter with drunk driving, I realized how life can sometimes be unpredictably brutal. I will go into detail about the implications of every action and the essence of moving forward. From Discussing how maintaining a positive demeanor in the face of disappointment can propel success to emphasizing the power of self-acceptance and the strength that lies in not letting the past define you. This episode stands as a testament to our faith in you, in all your unique, flawed, and beautiful existence. Brace yourself for raw emotions, life-altering lessons, and a journey of self-discovery.
as always love you, Bye!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello guys, and welcome back to another episode
of Keeping it Realty.
I'm gonna be just straight upwith you guys.
Right now I'm laying in my bedI'm not in the Lux Realty Lounge
, which is where I wouldnormally record this and, oh my
god, if my Apple Watch remindsme one more time that I've not
been working out as much, I'mgonna throw it.
Okay.
So the first thing I want tosay is, after the rebrand and
(00:21):
like the start of the Lux RealtyLounge podcast, I kind of
wanted to just like take time tolike define really what my goal
was for this and pretty muchget my life together before I
started back with uploading anew episode weekly.
But we're back and we're betterthan ever and I really think
that this episode will probablybe the most relatable episode
I've ever put out.
(00:41):
Okay, so this episode might beall over the place, but if you
can know anything, the pointthat I'm trying to get across is
to stop pretending that you'reokay, stop pretending that
you're over him, the guys.
We all just need to accept thatwe're all down bad right now
and that's okay, and it's justnot the hot girl fall that we
(01:03):
all thought we were gonna have,and that's fine, honestly, like
it's okay because there's a nextfall too.
Oh, okay, also, see, it's allover the place.
But this week marks the weekthat I made the biggest mistake
I've literally ever made andwill ever make, I hope, and it
(01:23):
continues to haunt me every dayand I'm gonna be very vulnerable
and I'm gonna share it with youguys and only like a few
friends and family know, andmaybe some people in my small
town and mom, if you'relistening, I know you're
probably thinking you shouldbetter not tell the world what I
think she's going to.
And I am, because I don't workat it and that's something that
we're gonna talk about in thisepisode and truly like that is
(01:46):
just being that your past istruly what makes you the
strongest and like the bestversion of yourself and who you
can be.
And I believe that everythinghappens for a reason, and I
believe that that needed tohappen, because I was just
running around like I was somehot shit real estate agent at 18
years old and then, boom, notanymore.
(02:08):
You are fooled, okay.
So the first thing that I wantto talk about is letting go of
the expectations and stayingtrue to yourself, and the reason
I say that is because I feellike there are just the general
roadmap I would say in life isto like go to school and get the
job and get married and havekids and stay out of debt and
buy a house, and there's so muchpressure.
(02:30):
But one thing that I've likejust kind of had to realize,
since I've had a full blowncareer since I was 18 years old,
is you have to love what you doand you have to love doing it.
So if you're in college rightnow and you feel like college
isn't for you, then drop out andit doesn't.
It does matter what yourparents say, of course.
(02:52):
However, like you just need todo whatever your heart desires,
because there is so muchpressure on doing that general
roadmap thing and I feel likenowadays, like you don't have to
follow that and there are somany other.
You know ways of having a goodcareer and having a good life
without going to college, andI'm not saying that just because
(03:13):
I didn't go to college and I'mdoing very well.
I'm just saying that in general.
Like there are a ton of peoplethat college just genuinely is
not for them and it takes timeto realize that.
But the reason I say that alsois because if you are in college
and you just feel like you justdon't maybe like your major,
change your major or you don'tfeel like it's for you, okay.
(03:36):
Here's the reason I say that Ihave worked 24-7 in real estate
since I got my license straightout of high school and I could
not imagine working this muchand having a full-time career
not liking it like I love my jobso much.
But if I didn't like, I justdon't, I feel like it would make
(03:57):
me so unhappy because truly itis the only thing that really
like gives me drive andmotivation to keep going when
times are hard.
And I feel like when we'reolder and maybe have kids and
stuff, like if you don't likeyour job, then you essentially
like there are gonna be a lot ofother things in your life that
just I feel like aren't going tomake you, make you happy and a
(04:17):
lot of things that aren't goingto end up well and like
relationships and friendshipsand family and all kinds of
stuff.
But another thing that comeswith that is take the risk and
don't be afraid to take thoserisks, because when you're in
your 20s, like that is truly thetime to do new things and take
(04:38):
on new challenges and just stepoutside of your comfort zone and
even though those risks may notwork in your favor, I would say
that always, failure is a partof the learning process and I've
learned that over and over andover again and it really has
just made me stronger andstronger.
And when you're in your 20s likebeing in your 20s is seriously
(05:02):
all about like self-discoveryand figuring out who you are and
what you want to be one day,and figuring out who your
friends are, and going throughlike heart-wrenching breakups
and losing friends that youthought would be in your wedding
one day, and all of thosethings truly, when you go
through them and it seems likeit's the end of the world, then
(05:23):
you come out so much strongerand you look back and you're
like, oh my god, like I reallynever thought I would get
through that and you're going togo have that throughout your
entire life, where you gothrough these really hard things
that you may think, oh my god,I will never get over this.
And then three years later,you're like, oh my god, look at
me now.
But being in your 20s isseriously the time to do those
(05:43):
things and take the risk,because it's all about learning,
and it kind of gets me on thepath of having a past In which I
just want to say we all have apast, we all have a history,
we've all done things that weregret and things that are huge
mistakes in our lives.
But I seriously, like I'm, ofcourse, ashamed of what I did,
(06:10):
but I literally think I neededthat to happen in order for me
to grow up, which I needed to do, and it's such a long story and
I like, literally it makes melike water in my mouth, wanting
to puke when I talk about it.
But I'm going to tell you, guys, and I'm going to open up about
it.
But before I really spill thetea, I want to just talk about a
(06:34):
few more things that just cameto my mind while I'm laying in
my bed twisting my hair or not,okay, so the first thing I want
to say is losing friends in your20s, which has been the hardest
part of the last few years forme, but it's also made me grow
like so much as a person,because I really thought that a
(06:56):
lot of these girls wouldliterally be next to me at my
wedding, and I have learned somuch about myself because I
spend so much time being aloneand I still have amazing friends
and best friends and I stillhave wonderful friends, but the
main group of friends that Ireally did think I would never
lose, I did.
And I've just spent so muchtime alone because everybody
(07:21):
else around me is in college andpartying every weekend while
I'm real estate agent and I lovethat I really do.
But it is hard sometimes and Ihave just really become like my
own best friend and it sounds socliche to say, but it's just so
true and it's hilarious,because I was that girl in high
(07:43):
school that was never alone Likethe second my friend would drop
me off.
I would be texting her 20minutes later like, hey, do you
want to go on a drive?
I hated being alone and I feellike my other friend hated being
alone too, like we were justalways with each other.
And now that I've spent so muchtime alone, I've figured out so
many things about myself thatlike you just really never think
(08:04):
that you would know Like Iactually like being alone,
except recently I've gotten likeanxiety when I'm driving, like
I literally sometimes feel likeI'm going to pass out and I
don't even know how to explainit.
I know I probably sound crazy,but I literally will be driving
and I like just feel solightheaded and like I'm going
to pass out, and I have eight.
Like I don't know what it is.
(08:25):
I swear it must be anxietybecause, like, if I'm in a store
alone and I'm not with my momor somebody, I think it's like
that.
I literally was so dependent onmy ex because I spent every
waking second with him, that Igot used to like always have
something, something.
Can I fucking talk?
I was so used to like havingsomebody with me that when I
(08:46):
like went from someone all thetime to no one I don't know,
okay, never mind, that's just myconspiracy theory.
Okay, what was the other thing?
Oh, okay, okay, when life thisis so fucking important and
listen when life knocks you down, your only option is to stand
(09:07):
back up.
And when you go through abreakup or you lose a friend, or
you lose a best friend, oryou're just dealing with maybe
something financial or withcollege, I don't care what it is
my only thing that I wanna sayis do not stay down for long,
because it's gonna be so muchharder for you to stand back up
(09:27):
and take it from me and take itfrom plenty of other people too.
Like, when you bury yourself inyour sadness, it is so much
harder to come out of it andeven if it's little things that
you're doing each day, like youcan still be down and you can
still be upset, but do not justponder in your bed and not do
anything and just sit in yoursadness.
(09:48):
Do one thing a day, because wespend so much time worrying and
complaining and comparing andwasting and waiting for
something bigger and better andjust, instead of focusing on
just the simple little thingsthat surround us, like, take the
little things in life that youhave and to be grateful for.
(10:11):
And recently, like being alone.
I swear I have opened up somuch and become such a better
person, but it just takes onesingle moment to change
everything that you take forgranted.
And yeah, okay, I don't knowwhere I was going with that, but
basically, like, if you aregoing through something right
(10:32):
now, don't just sit in yoursadness because it does nothing.
Okay, guys, that was me totallytrying to stop, but I'm gonna.
I know you guys are here forthis whole story, so I'm getting
to it.
Okay, so this was last yeararound this time and I was going
up to my friend's house inCincinnati and I really did not
have intentions on gettinghammered, because at the time I
(10:54):
was a cheer coach.
I've been a cheer coach thelast three years and I had to
coach a game that next morning.
So in which I still did, andwhen you guys, I'm gonna tell
you guys the entire story,because there's no reason to put
my biggest mistake in somethingthat will haunt me for the rest
of my life on the internetwithout explaining the entire
story, because I could write abook.
So, basically, I go to myfriend's house and I end up
(11:18):
drinking a lot and I get in thecar.
I don't remember getting in thecar.
I drive home and I make it tothe street before my house and I
get pulled over.
So I really thought and this isone thing that I do, and I
pretend, even when I amextremely intoxicated, that I'm
(11:39):
not.
I'll say I'm not even drunk.
You are like you actually areso shut up.
And so the cop pulled me overand wrote when I I live in the
smallest town ever.
Okay, guys, also the cop.
I looked at him and I'm like,oh my God, he was at my sister's
house a month ago.
So first and he is so hot, bythe way, so anyway, he rolls in
(12:01):
my window.
He's like where have you been,whatever?
And I tell him I don't reallyknow where, I told him but I
knew I apparently got whitecastles.
I didn't even remember gettingwhite castles, and that's how I
know that I was so drunk becauseI would never eat white castles
.
Okay, so he asked me to stepout of the car because he
smelled alcohol.
And I pass every test, guys,every test, except one that
(12:24):
totally threw me off and it wasabout math and numbers.
And I was like, okay, Icouldn't do this sober.
And then, yeah, don't know how,because I don't remember the
night and I basically then Iremembered when I was standing
there.
I remember everybody telling mein the back of my head when he
brought up the breathalyzer.
I remember everybody saying youalways refuse the breathalyzer,
(12:46):
you always refuse it.
And so I'm like, no, I refuse.
And he was like, okay, then,ma'am, you're under arrest.
And I'm like what?
Like no way.
And he tells me to turn around.
I'm like wait, no, I start.
I was already bawling, but I wassobbing, okay, and this cop
knows me keep in mind, he was atmy sister's house a month ago.
(13:07):
Like he knows my family.
We all know each other becauseI live in such a small town.
So I'm like what do you mean?
Like I'm being arrested.
And he was like yeah, like hewas like told me about every
read, my rights, everythingabout you know, the breathalyzer
and everything.
And I'm thinking in my head,like why does everybody tell me
to refuse the breathalyzer?
Or tell everybody that if itmeans you get arrested, like
(13:28):
what the hell?
So I am in the back of the copcar trying to literally flirt
with this man and this policeofficer, thinking it's going to
get me out of this DUI.
Like telling him I yeah, okay,you get the idea right.
Okay, it was also all on video.
But so then keep in mind me,this little white girl in
(13:53):
converse and leggings and a cuteyou see shirt with my hair done
and Kate Spade earrings.
I'm pretty sure Like not thatthat matters, but like me going
to jail, like I wasn't ahorrible teen, like I partied in
high school, but like, if ateacher yelled, I was very
respectful with the teachers.
Like I am a baby, okay, I'vealso like yeah.
(14:17):
So I'm like what the fuck?
And so the I was like you knowwhat, like I'm going to make the
best of it, like I'm stilldrunk.
I walk in and there are twolesbians that are checking me
and I'm like they're like askingme if I have like drugs or
weapons like hidden in my vagina, and I'm like you just want to
(14:38):
look like let's be honest, andlike they thought I was
hilarious, like I swear theywanted to hang out with me all
night.
Well then, it was time for meto take my mug shot and I'd been
crying, I had mascara all overmy face and I'm like no, no, no,
like I need bronzer or anymascara or I need a makeup wipe.
I'm not taking this photo andthey think I'm being funny, but
at this point I'm like I'm notkidding, like I'm not going to
(15:00):
be on the internet looking likethis, but they didn't give me a
choice and I am on the internetlooking like that.
So if you want to go look, golook, because I know all of you
are probably going to.
And so then I go in this celland I'm in this holding cell
with people that were detoxingfrom heroin.
One had done something likereally, really bad to their kid.
(15:24):
Another one was caught withdrugs.
And then there was this onegirl who like wasn't in that
much trouble but kind of waslike she has definitely been in
jail before.
And they're looking at me, theywalk in and they called me
fresh meat because all of themhad been to jail multiple times
before.
And I'll never forget the onegirl was scratching herself so
(15:46):
bad to where she was bleeding.
And I'm looking at her likegirl, like what are you doing?
And everybody's looking at melike do you want to get your ass
beat?
And also it's like don't go tojail, do not break the law.
Because I'm telling you thatholding cell I have nightmares
about.
I had my mom.
She's listening to this still.
I'm still mad at her to thisday.
She left me in there on purposeextra long for my punishment,
(16:08):
which like fair, but oh my God,it's hell.
Imagine hell.
That is what it is.
The toilet I had a UTI becauseI held my pee for so long.
That's TMI, but.
And then it was time for themorning and lunch because my mom
is evil and left me in therethat long.
I got in there, I booked in, I'mpretty sure, around like one or
(16:31):
two and I didn't leave untilliterally 12.
So I they come out and I'm likeI'm throwing up when this girl
brings out this food andeverybody's like get standing up
to get it and I'm like I'mgonna get out of here.
How can you eat right now?
Like the thought of eatingactually like was making me like
throw up in my mouth, and so Ididn't get it.
(16:57):
Obviously, like why would I eatthat?
First off, I'm gonna puke, soI'm not gonna talk about it
anymore.
But then the girls that were inthe holding cell got mad at me
because I like didn't get it andgive it to them.
I didn't know jail language.
I'm sorry, I didn't speak likeprisoner.
So then my mom, oh, okay, Ialso complained because it was
(17:21):
freezing and I wanted to blanketand I wanted a pillow because
my butt hurt from sitting on theconcrete and I was so cold.
And then, like one of the girlsI swear, almost beat my ass
because of it.
But anyway, guys, it wasseriously the worst thing ever
and I do not recommend.
And then, when it's time, okay,ready.
(17:41):
So then my mom picks me up fromjail and my mom is scary, okay,
guys, like she's so cute, thecutest mom ever.
But like, when I'm in trouble,like she'll beat my ass and I
like was, I think I was morescared of going to jail than
like having my mom pick me up,which I'm sure a lot of you feel
that that are listening.
If you never went to jail,imagine your mom picking you up,
(18:02):
okay.
So I'm like I get out of thereand I swear like I'm just
waiting for her to beat my assin front of all these cameras
and I like got my phone and morepeople had known about my DUI
in 12 hours than I had evenknown about it myself.
I had not processed it.
Oh, okay, by the way, also, letme not forget, I leave jail, go
(18:26):
home, change, take a shower andthen went to go coach a cheer
game at my high school, by theway, in which all of my
cheerleaders knew about it.
All of the parents knew aboutit that I had literally just
gotten out of jail and, yes, Istill coached it.
That just shows I and as avolunteer, coaching every day.
(18:48):
But anyway, I think I'm gonnastop there.
I could go into more detail,but I'm not going to.
And, yes, but your past is notto find you and I am so glad
that I went through that and I,you know, made that big mistake
because I was walking aroundlike I have the biggest head and
I'm this cool real estate agent, I'm so young and blah, blah,
(19:08):
blah, blah.
No, you're not like.
No, you're not actually.
And yeah, so I would never,ever, ever, ever drink and drive
.
I would never put my life oranybody else's life at risk like
that again and I will literallysend you an Uber.
I will, and I tell everybodythat, like I will send anybody
an Uber, uber, even my worstenemy, if it means that they
(19:30):
don't get a DUI and have towitness going to jail, have to
witness the consequences thatcome out of it, the amount of
money you have to pay, having abreathalyzer I had a
breathalyzer in my car for sixmonths, so, which basically
means that anytime I started mycar, in every three minutes I
was in my car with it going.
I had a yeah, okay, and that waslike like imagine hanging out
(19:50):
with a new guy or like doinganything and them getting in
your car and having to see that,and when it was really cold out
in the winter, I would have tosit in my car until it warmed up
, which would take 10 minutes,anyway, and they also.
It also made my car not startmultiple times.
Okay, guys, that's about it forthis episode.
And we are back and we arebetter than ever, and your past
(20:11):
doesn't have to find you.
You're going to get through.
Whatever you're dealing with,you need to have a hot girl fall
, and yeah, I was going to justsay something that was kind of
bad, but anyway, not really bad,just like men's sock.
Okay, that's all until nextweek.
Love you, ux.
Hello guys, and welcome back to another episode
of Keeping it Realty.
I'm gonna be just straight upwith you guys.
Right now I'm laying in my bedI'm not in the Lux Realty Lounge
, which is where I wouldnormally record this and, oh my
god, if my Apple Watch remindsme one more time that I've not
been working out as much, I'mgonna throw it.
Okay.
So the first thing I want tosay is, after the rebrand and
(00:21):
like the start of the Lux RealtyLounge podcast, I kind of
wanted to just like take time tolike define really what my goal
was for this and pretty muchget my life together before I
started back with uploading anew episode weekly.
But we're back and we're betterthan ever and I really think
that this episode will probablybe the most relatable episode
I've ever put out.
(00:41):
Okay, so this episode might beall over the place, but if you
can know anything, the pointthat I'm trying to get across is
to stop pretending that you'reokay, stop pretending that
you're over him, the guys.
We all just need to accept thatwe're all down bad right now
and that's okay, and it's justnot the hot girl fall that we
(01:03):
all thought we were gonna have,and that's fine, honestly, like
it's okay because there's a nextfall too.
Oh, okay, also, see, it's allover the place.
But this week marks the weekthat I made the biggest mistake
I've literally ever made andwill ever make, I hope, and it
(01:23):
continues to haunt me every dayand I'm gonna be very vulnerable
and I'm gonna share it with youguys and only like a few
friends and family know, andmaybe some people in my small
town and mom, if you'relistening, I know you're
probably thinking you shouldbetter not tell the world what I
think she's going to.
And I am, because I don't workat it and that's something that
we're gonna talk about in thisepisode and truly like that is
(01:46):
just being that your past istruly what makes you the
strongest and like the bestversion of yourself and who you
can be.
And I believe that everythinghappens for a reason, and I
believe that that needed tohappen, because I was just
running around like I was somehot shit real estate agent at 18
years old and then, boom, notanymore.
(02:08):
You are fooled, okay.
So the first thing that I wantto talk about is letting go of
the expectations and stayingtrue to yourself, and the reason
I say that is because I feellike there are just the general
roadmap I would say in life isto like go to school and get the
job and get married and havekids and stay out of debt and
buy a house, and there's so muchpressure.
(02:30):
But one thing that I've likejust kind of had to realize,
since I've had a full blowncareer since I was 18 years old,
is you have to love what you doand you have to love doing it.
So if you're in college rightnow and you feel like college
isn't for you, then drop out andit doesn't.
It does matter what yourparents say, of course.
(02:52):
However, like you just need todo whatever your heart desires,
because there is so muchpressure on doing that general
roadmap thing and I feel likenowadays, like you don't have to
follow that and there are somany other.
You know ways of having a goodcareer and having a good life
without going to college, andI'm not saying that just because
(03:13):
I didn't go to college and I'mdoing very well.
I'm just saying that in general.
Like there are a ton of peoplethat college just genuinely is
not for them and it takes timeto realize that.
But the reason I say that alsois because if you are in college
and you just feel like you justdon't maybe like your major,
change your major or you don'tfeel like it's for you, okay.
(03:36):
Here's the reason I say that Ihave worked 24-7 in real estate
since I got my license straightout of high school and I could
not imagine working this muchand having a full-time career
not liking it like I love my jobso much.
But if I didn't like, I justdon't, I feel like it would make
(03:57):
me so unhappy because truly itis the only thing that really
like gives me drive andmotivation to keep going when
times are hard.
And I feel like when we'reolder and maybe have kids and
stuff, like if you don't likeyour job, then you essentially
like there are gonna be a lot ofother things in your life that
just I feel like aren't going tomake you, make you happy and a
(04:17):
lot of things that aren't goingto end up well and like
relationships and friendshipsand family and all kinds of
stuff.
But another thing that comeswith that is take the risk and
don't be afraid to take thoserisks, because when you're in
your 20s, like that is truly thetime to do new things and take
(04:38):
on new challenges and just stepoutside of your comfort zone and
even though those risks may notwork in your favor, I would say
that always, failure is a partof the learning process and I've
learned that over and over andover again and it really has
just made me stronger andstronger.
And when you're in your 20s likebeing in your 20s is seriously
(05:02):
all about like self-discoveryand figuring out who you are and
what you want to be one day,and figuring out who your
friends are, and going throughlike heart-wrenching breakups
and losing friends that youthought would be in your wedding
one day, and all of thosethings truly, when you go
through them and it seems likeit's the end of the world, then
(05:23):
you come out so much strongerand you look back and you're
like, oh my god, like I reallynever thought I would get
through that and you're going togo have that throughout your
entire life, where you gothrough these really hard things
that you may think, oh my god,I will never get over this.
And then three years later,you're like, oh my god, look at
me now.
But being in your 20s isseriously the time to do those
(05:43):
things and take the risk,because it's all about learning,
and it kind of gets me on thepath of having a past In which I
just want to say we all have apast, we all have a history,
we've all done things that weregret and things that are huge
mistakes in our lives.
But I seriously, like I'm, ofcourse, ashamed of what I did,
(06:10):
but I literally think I neededthat to happen in order for me
to grow up, which I needed to do, and it's such a long story and
I like, literally it makes melike water in my mouth, wanting
to puke when I talk about it.
But I'm going to tell you, guys, and I'm going to open up about
it.
But before I really spill thetea, I want to just talk about a
(06:34):
few more things that just cameto my mind while I'm laying in
my bed twisting my hair or not,okay, so the first thing I want
to say is losing friends in your20s, which has been the hardest
part of the last few years forme, but it's also made me grow
like so much as a person,because I really thought that a
(06:56):
lot of these girls wouldliterally be next to me at my
wedding, and I have learned somuch about myself because I
spend so much time being aloneand I still have amazing friends
and best friends and I stillhave wonderful friends, but the
main group of friends that Ireally did think I would never
lose, I did.
And I've just spent so muchtime alone because everybody
(07:21):
else around me is in college andpartying every weekend while
I'm real estate agent and I lovethat I really do.
But it is hard sometimes and Ihave just really become like my
own best friend and it sounds socliche to say, but it's just so
true and it's hilarious,because I was that girl in high
(07:43):
school that was never alone Likethe second my friend would drop
me off.
I would be texting her 20minutes later like, hey, do you
want to go on a drive?
I hated being alone and I feellike my other friend hated being
alone too, like we were justalways with each other.
And now that I've spent so muchtime alone, I've figured out so
many things about myself thatlike you just really never think
(08:04):
that you would know Like Iactually like being alone,
except recently I've gotten likeanxiety when I'm driving, like
I literally sometimes feel likeI'm going to pass out and I
don't even know how to explainit.
I know I probably sound crazy,but I literally will be driving
and I like just feel solightheaded and like I'm going
to pass out, and I have eight.
Like I don't know what it is.
(08:25):
I swear it must be anxietybecause, like, if I'm in a store
alone and I'm not with my momor somebody, I think it's like
that.
I literally was so dependent onmy ex because I spent every
waking second with him, that Igot used to like always have
something, something.
Can I fucking talk?
I was so used to like havingsomebody with me that when I
(08:46):
like went from someone all thetime to no one I don't know,
okay, never mind, that's just myconspiracy theory.
Okay, what was the other thing?
Oh, okay, okay, when life thisis so fucking important and
listen when life knocks you down, your only option is to stand
(09:07):
back up.
And when you go through abreakup or you lose a friend, or
you lose a best friend, oryou're just dealing with maybe
something financial or withcollege, I don't care what it is
my only thing that I wanna sayis do not stay down for long,
because it's gonna be so muchharder for you to stand back up
(09:27):
and take it from me and take itfrom plenty of other people too.
Like, when you bury yourself inyour sadness, it is so much
harder to come out of it andeven if it's little things that
you're doing each day, like youcan still be down and you can
still be upset, but do not justponder in your bed and not do
anything and just sit in yoursadness.
(09:48):
Do one thing a day, because wespend so much time worrying and
complaining and comparing andwasting and waiting for
something bigger and better andjust, instead of focusing on
just the simple little thingsthat surround us, like, take the
little things in life that youhave and to be grateful for.
(10:11):
And recently, like being alone.
I swear I have opened up somuch and become such a better
person, but it just takes onesingle moment to change
everything that you take forgranted.
And yeah, okay, I don't knowwhere I was going with that, but
basically, like, if you aregoing through something right
(10:32):
now, don't just sit in yoursadness because it does nothing.
Okay, guys, that was me totallytrying to stop, but I'm gonna.
I know you guys are here forthis whole story, so I'm getting
to it.
Okay, so this was last yeararound this time and I was going
up to my friend's house inCincinnati and I really did not
have intentions on gettinghammered, because at the time I
(10:54):
was a cheer coach.
I've been a cheer coach thelast three years and I had to
coach a game that next morning.
So in which I still did, andwhen you guys, I'm gonna tell
you guys the entire story,because there's no reason to put
my biggest mistake in somethingthat will haunt me for the rest
of my life on the internetwithout explaining the entire
story, because I could write abook.
So, basically, I go to myfriend's house and I end up
(11:18):
drinking a lot and I get in thecar.
I don't remember getting in thecar.
I drive home and I make it tothe street before my house and I
get pulled over.
So I really thought and this isone thing that I do, and I
pretend, even when I amextremely intoxicated, that I'm
(11:39):
not.
I'll say I'm not even drunk.
You are like you actually areso shut up.
And so the cop pulled me overand wrote when I I live in the
smallest town ever.
Okay, guys, also the cop.
I looked at him and I'm like,oh my God, he was at my sister's
house a month ago.
So first and he is so hot, bythe way, so anyway, he rolls in
(12:01):
my window.
He's like where have you been,whatever?
And I tell him I don't reallyknow where, I told him but I
knew I apparently got whitecastles.
I didn't even remember gettingwhite castles, and that's how I
know that I was so drunk becauseI would never eat white castles
.
Okay, so he asked me to stepout of the car because he
smelled alcohol.
And I pass every test, guys,every test, except one that
(12:24):
totally threw me off and it wasabout math and numbers.
And I was like, okay, Icouldn't do this sober.
And then, yeah, don't know how,because I don't remember the
night and I basically then Iremembered when I was standing
there.
I remember everybody telling mein the back of my head when he
brought up the breathalyzer.
I remember everybody saying youalways refuse the breathalyzer,
(12:46):
you always refuse it.
And so I'm like, no, I refuse.
And he was like, okay, then,ma'am, you're under arrest.
And I'm like what?
Like no way.
And he tells me to turn around.
I'm like wait, no, I start.
I was already bawling, but I wassobbing, okay, and this cop
knows me keep in mind, he was atmy sister's house a month ago.
(13:07):
Like he knows my family.
We all know each other becauseI live in such a small town.
So I'm like what do you mean?
Like I'm being arrested.
And he was like yeah, like hewas like told me about every
read, my rights, everythingabout you know, the breathalyzer
and everything.
And I'm thinking in my head,like why does everybody tell me
to refuse the breathalyzer?
Or tell everybody that if itmeans you get arrested, like
(13:28):
what the hell?
So I am in the back of the copcar trying to literally flirt
with this man and this policeofficer, thinking it's going to
get me out of this DUI.
Like telling him I yeah, okay,you get the idea right.
Okay, it was also all on video.
But so then keep in mind me,this little white girl in
(13:53):
converse and leggings and a cuteyou see shirt with my hair done
and Kate Spade earrings.
I'm pretty sure Like not thatthat matters, but like me going
to jail, like I wasn't ahorrible teen, like I partied in
high school, but like, if ateacher yelled, I was very
respectful with the teachers.
Like I am a baby, okay, I'vealso like yeah.
(14:17):
So I'm like what the fuck?
And so the I was like you knowwhat, like I'm going to make the
best of it, like I'm stilldrunk.
I walk in and there are twolesbians that are checking me
and I'm like they're like askingme if I have like drugs or
weapons like hidden in my vagina, and I'm like you just want to
(14:38):
look like let's be honest, andlike they thought I was
hilarious, like I swear theywanted to hang out with me all
night.
Well then, it was time for meto take my mug shot and I'd been
crying, I had mascara all overmy face and I'm like no, no, no,
like I need bronzer or anymascara or I need a makeup wipe.
I'm not taking this photo andthey think I'm being funny, but
at this point I'm like I'm notkidding, like I'm not going to
(15:00):
be on the internet looking likethis, but they didn't give me a
choice and I am on the internetlooking like that.
So if you want to go look, golook, because I know all of you
are probably going to.
And so then I go in this celland I'm in this holding cell
with people that were detoxingfrom heroin.
One had done something likereally, really bad to their kid.
(15:24):
Another one was caught withdrugs.
And then there was this onegirl who like wasn't in that
much trouble but kind of waslike she has definitely been in
jail before.
And they're looking at me, theywalk in and they called me
fresh meat because all of themhad been to jail multiple times
before.
And I'll never forget the onegirl was scratching herself so
(15:46):
bad to where she was bleeding.
And I'm looking at her likegirl, like what are you doing?
And everybody's looking at melike do you want to get your ass
beat?
And also it's like don't go tojail, do not break the law.
Because I'm telling you thatholding cell I have nightmares
about.
I had my mom.
She's listening to this still.
I'm still mad at her to thisday.
She left me in there on purposeextra long for my punishment,
(16:08):
which like fair, but oh my God,it's hell.
Imagine hell.
That is what it is.
The toilet I had a UTI becauseI held my pee for so long.
That's TMI, but.
And then it was time for themorning and lunch because my mom
is evil and left me in therethat long.
I got in there, I booked in, I'mpretty sure, around like one or
(16:31):
two and I didn't leave untilliterally 12.
So I they come out and I'm likeI'm throwing up when this girl
brings out this food andeverybody's like get standing up
to get it and I'm like I'mgonna get out of here.
How can you eat right now?
Like the thought of eatingactually like was making me like
throw up in my mouth, and so Ididn't get it.
(16:57):
Obviously, like why would I eatthat?
First off, I'm gonna puke, soI'm not gonna talk about it
anymore.
But then the girls that were inthe holding cell got mad at me
because I like didn't get it andgive it to them.
I didn't know jail language.
I'm sorry, I didn't speak likeprisoner.
So then my mom, oh, okay, Ialso complained because it was
(17:21):
freezing and I wanted to blanketand I wanted a pillow because
my butt hurt from sitting on theconcrete and I was so cold.
And then, like one of the girlsI swear, almost beat my ass
because of it.
But anyway, guys, it wasseriously the worst thing ever
and I do not recommend.
And then, when it's time, okay,ready.
(17:41):
So then my mom picks me up fromjail and my mom is scary, okay,
guys, like she's so cute, thecutest mom ever.
But like, when I'm in trouble,like she'll beat my ass and I
like was, I think I was morescared of going to jail than
like having my mom pick me up,which I'm sure a lot of you feel
that that are listening.
If you never went to jail,imagine your mom picking you up,
(18:02):
okay.
So I'm like I get out of thereand I swear like I'm just
waiting for her to beat my assin front of all these cameras
and I like got my phone and morepeople had known about my DUI
in 12 hours than I had evenknown about it myself.
I had not processed it.
Oh, okay, by the way, also, letme not forget, I leave jail, go
(18:26):
home, change, take a shower andthen went to go coach a cheer
game at my high school, by theway, in which all of my
cheerleaders knew about it.
All of the parents knew aboutit that I had literally just
gotten out of jail and, yes, Istill coached it.
That just shows I and as avolunteer, coaching every day.
(18:48):
But anyway, I think I'm gonnastop there.
I could go into more detail,but I'm not going to.
And, yes, but your past is notto find you and I am so glad
that I went through that and I,you know, made that big mistake
because I was walking aroundlike I have the biggest head and
I'm this cool real estate agent, I'm so young and blah, blah,
(19:08):
blah, blah.
No, you're not like.
No, you're not actually.
And yeah, so I would never,ever, ever, ever drink and drive
.
I would never put my life oranybody else's life at risk like
that again and I will literallysend you an Uber.
I will, and I tell everybodythat, like I will send anybody
an Uber, uber, even my worstenemy, if it means that they
(19:30):
don't get a DUI and have towitness going to jail, have to
witness the consequences thatcome out of it, the amount of
money you have to pay, having abreathalyzer I had a
breathalyzer in my car for sixmonths, so, which basically
means that anytime I started mycar, in every three minutes I
was in my car with it going.
I had a yeah, okay, and that waslike like imagine hanging out
(19:50):
with a new guy or like doinganything and them getting in
your car and having to see that,and when it was really cold out
in the winter, I would have tosit in my car until it warmed up
, which would take 10 minutes,anyway, and they also.
It also made my car not startmultiple times.
Okay, guys, that's about it forthis episode.
And we are back and we arebetter than ever, and your past
(20:11):
doesn't have to find you.
You're going to get through.
Whatever you're dealing with,you need to have a hot girl fall
, and yeah, I was going to justsay something that was kind of
bad, but anyway, not really bad,just like men's sock.
Okay, that's all until nextweek.
Love you, ux.
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