#305 Elizabeth Walker - How to Master Your Mindset like a 7-Figure Entrepreneur - Kickoff Sessions

Episode Transcript
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Darren Lee (00:00):
Why should every entrepreneur use NLP in their
business and in their mind?

Elizabeth (00:04):
Entrepreneurs generally have a favorite flavor
of pain.
It'll either be I'm not goodenough, I'm not worthy, I'm not
loved, I'm not good enough, orworthy enough to be loved.
It'll be something like that,and that all gets instilled over
and over and over again everytime they enter into the land of
comparison and then they talkto themselves in their mind so

(00:26):
here's the thing the physical,the mental and the spiritual are
one system.
They should never be split intothree, because otherwise you're
just creating parts.
So you're in oneentrepreneurial business and
you've got to do content andyou've also got to do admin, and
people split them.
Why would you not film contentof you doing the admin?

Darren Lee (00:43):
Why should every entrepreneur use NLP in their
business and in their mind?

Elizabeth (00:47):
Yeah, great question.
So NLP is neuro-linguisticprogramming, meaning the brain,
neuro, right, linguistic, thewords you use.
When most people think aboutthe words they use, they
actually think about what theyspeak out loud, but the loudest
voice that influences us is thewords that we use inside our
mind Right, and so that's thelinguistic part, and then the

(01:08):
programming is just the programsthat we have actually had in
built into us or that we'veaccepted as we've become older.
Entrepreneurs generally have afavorite flavor of pain.
It'll either be I'm not goodenough, I'm not worthy, I'm not
loved, I'm not good enough orworthy enough to be loved.
It'll be be I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not loved,
I'm not good enough or worthyenough to be loved.
It'll be something like that.
And that all gets instilledover and over and over again

(01:32):
every time they enter into theland of comparison.
And then they talk tothemselves in their mind.
So the rhetoric in their mindbecomes I'm not as good as that
person, I'm not as loved as thatperson, I'm not as loved as
that person, I'm not as popularas that person, and what they do
is they go into comparison modewhen really what they have to
do is go into competition mode.

Darren Lee (01:54):
Is there any?
Is there ever a point wherebythat comparison is good in the
beginning?
Absolutely.

Elizabeth (02:00):
Absolutely that comparison has to exist to know
where you fit in the world,right.
But with comparison, whathappens is you're just looking
around and then there's noaction With competition, if you
think about preparing yourselffor a competition, you need the
mindset, you need the skill set,you need the physical
development, you need thenutrition.
You need all of those thingsand what NLP is is the actual

(02:21):
initial state.
You need to compete.
The problem is is there's allthese entrepreneurs competing in
their head, but actually theyonly have to compete with
themselves.
And the simplest way toovercome that competition and
win it is to utilize integratedneuro linguistic programming.

Darren Lee (02:39):
Where do you see the limitations of when, like,
entrepreneurs are pushingthrough Because, like, if
they're, if they're at thatpoint whereby they're doing new
things and they're learning thefeedback that was positive.
Is it?
Is it?
Would you consider it to be amental block that prevents them
from getting to, like, the nextlevel, or is it physical?

Elizabeth (02:57):
so here's the thing the physical, the mental and the
spiritual are one system.
They should never be split intothree, because otherwise you're
just creating parts.
Right, and when you create, soif you create parts in yourself.
So ancient Hawaiian Huna, forexample, which is a spiritual
philosophy, used to talk aboutparts.

(03:17):
So what they would say is thatif something bad happened to
someone, they would wrap it upin a little black bag and put it
somewhere in their body to dealwith later.
That's what the warriors usedto do, right?
So in other words, they'dcreate a part.
And what's happened with humansis we've learned how to create
these parts.
So they have one part for work,one part for their new
entrepreneurial business, onepart for their family, one part

(03:39):
for their mom and dad, one partfor their kids, and they have
all these parts.
And it's kind of like buildinga house with a whole lot of
rooms where all the doors areshut and they have to learn how
to open all the doors, becauseit's easier to walk through a
house when all the doors areopen and you're moving freely
than if you have to open thedoor.
Shut the door.
So if you have to open the door, walk into the relationship

(03:59):
room, deal with your partnerwhile you're in that room and
your kids are in a differentroom, then you'll be making
excuses as to why you can't bewith your kids and your partner
and have quality time with bothat the same time.
Equally, if you put your workbecause when you start out you
probably have a job right so youput your work in one room and
you put your entrepreneurialbusiness in a different room,
then you're at work thinkingabout work, and you don't think

(04:21):
about your entrepreneurialbusiness until you're at home.
Because you'vecompartmentalized, you've
basically created parts.
Yet the best way a humanfunctions is as a whole
integrated unit, and so byleaving the doors open in the
house, you can move easily andeffortlessly, so you can still
give a hundred percent to yourwork while your brain is
actually thinking about how youcould utilize the principle

(04:42):
you're doing at work to dosomething creative or amazing in
your entrepreneurial business.
So that's the integration.

Darren Lee (04:49):
So what's the biggest advantage of that,
versus people saying you need tohave, like, balance and
separation into two?
I know we're talking about itin a work context, but for me, I
completely agree with you.
Like, my integration is my wife, my dogs, my team members and
my friends.
My fitness is part of mybusiness.
They don't have a direct ROI,but they have an indirect.

(05:09):
Even my podcast has an indirectROI to my business, but now
they're disconnected.
So I see like that connectivetissue.
However, traditional knowledgeor traditional advice is keep
them separate Before we move anyfurther.
I have one short question toask you have you been enjoying
these episodes so far?
Is keep them separate Before wemove any further.
I have one short question toask you have you been enjoying
these episodes so far?
Because, if you have, I wouldtruly appreciate it if you

(05:29):
subscribe to the channel to helpmore business owners grow their
online business today.

Elizabeth (05:33):
Absolutely.
It is keep it separate, whichwhat it does is.
It changes the way that youutilize language in your own
mind.
Right, so say you're going tolet's even do it within an
entrepreneurial business, right,so you're in one
entrepreneurial business andyou've got to do content and
you've also got to do admin.
Right, and people split them.

(05:54):
Why would you not film contentof you doing the admin?

Darren Lee (05:58):
it makes sense how have you seen that play out when
you're working with people?

Elizabeth (06:05):
because you've worked with people that are
non-entrepreneurs so we workwith people who are early
entrepreneurs ornon-entrepreneurs and wanting to
be an entrepreneur.

Darren Lee (06:13):
But they're usually the hardest people to work with,
because it's not that they haveone problem, they have several
different problems they need tosolve.
But how do you bring that allthe way back to like the top six
inches of their brain?

Elizabeth (06:24):
yeah, so we have to go right down to the root cause.
So we go really, really deep inthe work that we do.

Darren Lee (06:29):
And when we were speaking at the weekend, a big
emphasis was like belief.

Elizabeth (06:32):
Absolutely yeah.
So someone has to have aconcept of belief, and if we
look around the world,everything is either growing or
dying, right?
So if you look at a chairsitting in your kitchen, over
time it's decomposing over areally long period of time, but
you're looking at somethingthat's largely dying.
If you look at a tree in theforest, you're looking at

(06:54):
something that's largely growing.
So this duality exists innature, and so all we have to do
is to be able to move easilyand effortlessly through the
both.
So you have to have therecognition that growth is
available.
Then you have to recognize thatif you're not growing, you're
actually dying.
And if you're dying, that couldlook like multiple things, it
could be your dreams dying, itcould actually be physically

(07:14):
dying.
So you have to look at thatmetaphorically and go okay, I
accept that growth is inevitable, because if I'm not growing,
I'm dying, and I don't reallywant to die.

Darren Lee (07:27):
So I think it was Chris Williamson that mentioned
that, like most men, like die aslow death after 25, they're
starting that decline overalland part of it is your body
decomposing, like you literallystart getting hair cells on your
ears, your hair might startfalling out.
But a big thing is the beliefand I do believe that because I
came from that corporatebackground part of that is like
you're getting weathered down.
It's almost like, as you say,like the rain coming in.
It's raining today.

(07:53):
It's like wearing down the roofand that like bears down until
you actually break away from itand you're on this new path
whereby it's continuouslylearning, adapting or decaying.
And that's why a lot ofbusiness owners will initially
start, but then they're like ohmy God, it's so difficult and
they get out.
I feel like the biggest thingis to stay in it.

Elizabeth (08:07):
And this is the problem with resilience, right?
So everyone preaches aresilience frame You've got to
have better resilience butactually resilience just keeps
that roof on your head.
You actually have to remove itand actually experience things
that require real resilience.
So there's this concept of theword resilience in language that
people throw around all thetime.

(08:28):
Oh yeah, I've learned to bereally resilient because of that
.
But really what they mean isI've learned to be really
resistant.
And actually true resilienceoccurs when you're actually
putting yourself in risk, tryingsomething new, putting yourself
outside the box that youcurrently live in and starting
to grow, and so we have to do alot of breakdown.

(08:50):
When people come to us, we haveto break down a lot of their
beliefs.
Depression, if we look at itfrom a linguistic perspective,
is actually just deep rest.
So people who are experiencingdepression, they're laying down
a lot, they're sleeping a lot,they're not doing a lot, they're
in a state of deep rest, andthey're in a state of deep rest
for multiple reasons, but reallyall it is is a chemical problem
within their body, not theirbrain.
So there's a lot of newresearch that shows it doesn't

(09:11):
happen in the brain, it happensin the body and if we could just
get them to walk for 20 minutesa day, that deep rest will
actually stop, because they'rekind of like hibernating like a
bear.
So if we get them to walk for20 minutes a day, they'll
actually feel better.

Darren Lee (09:24):
Let's double tap on that.
So a lot of your focus is thelanguage that we use, the
interpretation and the languageyou use.
I think you've kind of pickedup on that with me.
A lot of times You're likedon't say this because it causes
this chain reaction like at ourevent at the weekend.
Just these small little things.

Elizabeth (09:39):
Yeah.
So even then, what you justsaid is that I would say don't
say this.
I would never say that.
I would say, instead of sayingthis, perhaps say that, because
the word don't creates the samething in your brain.
If I say to you don't think ofa blue tree, the first thing you
have to think of is a blue treebefore you can get rid of it.

Darren Lee (09:55):
Okay, so it starts first in the mind, the stories
you tell yourself, and then it'sa story that quite literally
manifest the commodior mode thatmanifests your actions.
So let's work all the way up, Iguess yeah.

Elizabeth (10:07):
So we go all the way and you call it up, I'll call it
down because it's in the depth,because the language that you
use has been deeply rootedwithin you over generations.
So it's not just your ownchallenges that you're dealing
with.
You're also dealing withcultural problems.
You're also dealing with yourown familial problems, your
generational problems, so theyare all forming your language.

(10:27):
So if you've grown up in a poorfamily that has a history of
poverty, then there's going tobe things they say like money
doesn't grow on trees.
You know it's hard literally meit's hard to make money.

Darren Lee (10:36):
That was I.
I didn't mean to interrupt yourapologies, but that was
literally me as a child like,where I had so little money that
it was as if it was not thatmoney was evil, it was just it
was not attainable.
So then when I got become older, I'd realized that it was like
input equals output equalsoutcome, and it was just a
product of the inputs thatderive an outcome output.

(10:57):
And then I made the outputsbetter that you get me the
outcome.
And I was mid-20s I kind of hadthat like earth-shattering,
which was I had spent my entirelife thinking that this thing
wasn't attainable unless you'rea doctor, a dentist or a surgeon
.

Elizabeth (11:10):
Yeah, and that's a pretty standard Anglo-Saxon
belief, right?
So England, ireland, scotland,australia that's a pretty
standard belief.
Unless you're a doctor or alawyer, you're not going to make
that kind of money when, whenactually entrepreneurs make way
more money and have way moretime freedom and so overall
they're wealthier and leveragebecause it's not a money, it's

(11:32):
not a time and money exchangeit's choice, like if you think
about money.
It's literally money is units ofchoice.
So the more money you cancreate, the more choice that you
have.
For example, when I flew overhere to Bali, I flew in business
class because I know inbusiness class I'm going to get
access to the internet while I'mon the plane.
That means that those six hourson the plane are going to

(11:54):
actually be productive hoursinstead of sitting.
And you literally see it everytime you get on a plane,
everyone's watching a movie.
It's like, dude, that's likefour hours of your life that
you've just given up to fictionor programming, because
everything we're watching isprogramming us right.
So there's four hours of yourlife.
You've given up to that and Ispent four hours of the flight
actually working.
And the reason I say four, notsix is because there's an hour

(12:15):
of takeoff, an hour of descenttell me about energetics?
yeah, great.
So if we think that everythingis energy, right.
So an energy is a ever evolvingthing.
There's no creation of energyand there's no destruction of
energy.
There's just transformation ofenergy.
So, for example, when a treedies, the wood decomposes, it

(12:38):
goes down into the dirt and theenergy is still there.
It's just a different form andequally the same in us.
There's energy available to us.
We largely process it throughthe unconscious mind.
So one of the ways that theunconscious mind works is it
stores and distributes andtransforms energy.
So we have an available energyand we have lots of different
types of energy as a human.

(12:59):
So we have kinetic energy, inother words, if we move, we
create energy.
We have fuel-based energy, sothings like calories or
kilojoules, where we actuallyeat and create energy, and we
also have energy available to usfrom the elements like earth,
air, wind, water, right.
So we have all this energyaround us and it's literally
about how we transform it.
So if we're sitting in a stateof depression, it doesn't mean

(13:21):
that there's no energy.
It just means that the energyhas transformed into a calm
state or a lull state and all wehave to do is ignite friction
again to create the energymoving.
So one of the things to createenergy or to actually and it's
not really creation, it'sdestruction, it's distribution
of energy is create morefriction.
Yet society tells us to avoidfriction.

(13:44):
Yeah, so society will tell you,don't get stressed, right, it's
bad to be stressed.
Actually, if you're depressed,a little bit of stress would
help you because it creates abit of friction.
Tactical stress, right, ifyou're sitting in a level as an
entrepreneur like, say, you'resitting at that you know,
horrible 300K a year mark,because that's like, it's like

(14:06):
the zone of death, right, andthat's where most like they say
one in five businesses fails inthe first two years.
It's because they hit that 300Kmark and don't know how to do
anything different, right, sothey're sitting in that zone and
it's like they're sittingpretty, they finally have got
enough money, they've replacedtheir income from work and it's
all working.
So there's no more friction, sothey're not adding to forward

(14:31):
momentum in energy.
So they actually need to createa bit of friction, which you
know, great entrepreneurs willcreate a bit of risk at that
point and either throw all theirmoney at something and hope
that it works or they'll take arisk socially where they do
something crazy out loud andhope that it works.

Darren Lee (14:44):
And hire someone, for instance.
That's a really interestingpoint because a lot of people
will slow down, like the oneperson.
Business will hustle to get tothat point, but it's the same
thing that got you there won'tget you to like 100k a month or
whatever you know, but it'sgenerally by employing someone
or, as you say, saying yourgoals out loud, that it's like,
holy shit, I need to realign myactions to get that actual goal.
that's an interesting point yeah, which creates friction and the

(15:06):
friction stimulates the energyand then more energy becomes
available, which basically meansyou've increased your capacity
and, funnily enough, that thatsame mental model is actually
between the one to three millionrange, because at one to three
million you actually your burngoes so far up.
And then also it's the same,it's the same mechanism for the
most part to get you to 10million a year, but the only

(15:27):
difference is that you have toburn so much cash to learn,
which is why most people nevereither break out or never decide
to break it exactly so, likewhen our business first hit a
million dollars, it was like, oh, this is cool.

Elizabeth (15:39):
And then, and we're sitting on you know, a
particular percentage of profitwhich feels really nice, and
then it, oh my God, we actuallyhave to dump our profit so that
we can hit the 3 million mark.
And then, and you know, rightnow for us we're at that
transition again between threeand 10, where it's like, oh,
it's time again where we'regoing to have to dump that
profit and run again.
And it's the dumping of thatprofit that creates the friction

(16:01):
which increases your capacityto hold the energy it's kind of
like the capacity to figure shitout.

Darren Lee (16:08):
You know, and that's part of the entrepreneur's job
is just to figure shit out.
But I think why I gravitated somuch to your work was because I
had done so much of the logicof figuring stuff out and it was
actually there's a fewdifferent moments of me, like
letting go of control, leaningmore into my mind that allowed
me to have those more quantumleaps, quantum jumps that I have

(16:30):
to like constantly remindmyself of, because it's always
like the person.
It's not about where you wantto get to, it's a person you
have to become to get thereexactly.

Elizabeth (16:37):
It's never about holistically.
Yeah.
It's largely about the whoright who you are, yeah, and and
logic will get you so far andmindset will get you so far, and
at some point they converge andyou have to use both yeah,
which is pretty much where bothof us are right now.

Darren Lee (16:53):
Tell me more, but go deeper and more into the
energetics part, because I feellike let's go kind of keep
hammering, because obviously youcan keep hammering it right.
But one thing that's importanthere is, like obviously you're
super well known in an LP space.
That's why I wanted to divestraight into it.
But how did you like reallylean into this, like what was it
for you?
Because obviously you knowevery corner of this.

(17:14):
But where?
Why did you not have resistanceto learning this?

Elizabeth (17:20):
yeah, great.
So at the time that I startedthis, I was actually in a
wheelchair, unable to walk.
I was at rock bottom personally.
So I was like I'm here, Iactually want to kill myself,
because I'm taking so manymedications a day that all I do
is wake up, eat and go back tobed Like I was doing nothing.
And, you know, my husband wascarrying me up the stairs,
taking me to the toilet, takingme to the shower.

(17:41):
I couldn't do a thing, and sofor me, it was like there has to
be something, because I knowI'm made for more, and I think
this is a thing that's true formost entrepreneurs.
There's this fire that burns inyour belly, and even if you are
so done with it, even if you'relike at that point where it's
like I don't want to try anymore, because every time I try I
fail, because there's so manyentrepreneurs with such great

(18:03):
ideas that have come up againstresistance or a blockage.
For a lot of people, it wasCOVID when that happened.
It was like this blockagethat's just stopped them in
their tracks, but that firestill burns in their belly, and
if the fire is still burning,you have to do something with it
.
So, even though I felt so sickand I was so not okay.
I was like the fire is stillthere and I have to do something

(18:24):
.
So what can I do?
And it actually started with mejumping into a multi-level
marketing business, which wascrazy.
I needed makeup for my wedding,even though I was sick.
I was getting married, I'dnever worn makeup in my life and
I'm like I need makeup.
And a friend said hey, I havethis makeup company, I'll send
you a kit.
I'm like okay.
And they opened the kit and Irealized it was a business.
I'm like I reckon I can do thisfrom bed.

(18:46):
I think I can do this from myphone in bed and that's what I'm
doing all day is sitting in bed.
I may as well do something withit.
And so I started creating thiscommunity or team, um, and it
went really well and I did thatfor a couple of years and then I
was like okay, I'm back now andI know I'm meant for more you
need a small spark, right?

Darren Lee (19:05):
yeah, and it.

Elizabeth (19:06):
Sometimes it doesn't actually have to be like right,
you just need that little bit offriction and actually you just
tell you kind of a personal.

Darren Lee (19:10):
You asked me about business earlier when I was 23.
I was on the back of threefailed businesses and you saw
about the spark, like I wasreally burned out.
I'd gone back to corporate andat the time I was working for
like a very successful startup.
Now and that's not because ofme, but it's a very well-known
startup but I had got to thepoint whereby like three things
had failed.
That when COVID was coming upto COVID in 2019, I said to

(19:32):
myself it wasn't time to build abusiness, it was time to slow
down, listen and learn.
And that's when I started apodcast and that started this
whole thing for me.
Because it was, it was anon-oral y activity that showed
that well, that proved to myselfsubconsciously that I could
just do something right.
But I didn't have to have likethe red, the stripe screenshots

(19:52):
just to validate my own belief.
And then it was a slow steppingstone, so like, whether it's
mlm or a fucking podcast, it'sjust.
It's just like it's confidenceprecedes competency.
You become competent to atsomething and that's why, even
for you but this is what's sointeresting is because
australians irish all the same,to be honest, and it's like
there had to be some resistancefrom people around you when you

(20:13):
were going all in on nlp interms of what it is like, how,
because this is many years ago,right, seven, eight years ago.
How the hell did you even justunderstand what it is?
Because many people, to thisday, don't even know what it is.

Elizabeth (20:26):
Yeah, so it's nearly 10 years ago now and my best
friend said to me what you thinkyou're just going to learn
about mindset stuff and languagestuff, and then you can tell
people how to live their lives.
And I'm like, well, it'sworking for me, so why wouldn't
it work for someone else?
And she's like I think you'recrazy.
And I'm like what do you mean?
She goes I actually don't evenwant to be a friend anymore.

Darren Lee (20:46):
I'm like what.
It's good to share thosefriends.
What it's good to share thosefriends.

Elizabeth (20:51):
And it was crazy, right, because that happened and
the very next month was her30th birthday and she invited my
husband and not me, and it waslike that's just rude, you know.
Yeah, and it was like what?
Like do you think I care?
Now there's no more care forthat.
The thing is is that there'sthere's one saying that a lot of
people use when they start anentrepreneurial journey, and

(21:12):
that is that they're overwhelmed.
And one of the things I like todo is look at the etymology of
a word.
So, in the olden days, whathappened was to create a
dictionary.
A group of men in England sentout scouts all over the world to
collect words and what theymeant, and then, when they had a
word that had multiple, thathad the same meaning, from

(21:33):
multiple different regions, theywould then go okay, cool, this
word goes in the dictionary, andthe word overwhelmed actually
means to have your boat turnedover, right.
And so when you talk about yourthree failed businesses before
you started the podcast, it'shighly likely that there was a
bit of overwhelm, a bit ofstress, right.
The thing is is you still hadyour boat, and this is what a

(21:54):
lot of people forget whenthey're overwhelmed.
Yeah, sure, your boat's turnedover.
You're trying to.
You know, you're feeling likeyou're drowning, it's feeling
hard.
Your boat's still there.
Climb on top of it.
Climb on top of it.
Climb on top of it, make astand, create the friction you
need, start paddling and then,when it feels calm again, turn
the boat back around.

Darren Lee (22:10):
Okay.
So you're at that point, you'rebeating that resistance.
Why I love that is because aphrase that I always say is when
everyone ignores you, everyonelaughs at you when you start,
ignores you when you're stuck,but claps for you at the finish
line.
So you had broken away from,like, the traditional way of
thinking and probably just jobstructure.
What happened next?

Elizabeth (22:30):
Probably the key point at which I knew that I was
starting to get successful waswhen my ex-boyfriend's best
friend messaged me on Facebookand said hey, I'm trying to get
a home loan.
Would you be able to lend me$50,000 so that I can pay the
deposit?
And at this point my businesswas making like $200,000 a year.

(22:53):
I'm like you want me to giveyou a quarter of my income.
We live in Australia, so takeaway half the tax.
So now you want to give me halfmy income to my ex-boyfriend's
best friend?
Like no, no, you can't have it.
And what was interesting is agreat learning, because
previously I had giveneverything away, like I was very
, very generous, I gave a lot oftime.
Some people would have calledme a people pleaser, right.

(23:15):
And when this happened, Iactually felt bad that I
couldn't give him $50,000.
So, even though I was a no,there was a feeling inside of oh
my God, imagine what it wouldbe like if I could give him
$50,000.
And that was the opening of thenew level.
It was like okay, so it's notjust about me anymore, it's
about how can I create wealthfor others as well, so that I

(23:38):
can give more and more back andI think there's something to be
said about people pleasing herefor your audience that a lot of
people get accused of peoplepleasing.
If it's hurting you, it's aproblem.
If it's making you happy, it'stotally fine.
So as long as you're not givingsomething up in order to please
others, people pleasing is okay.
If you're giving something upor it's creating some kind of

(23:58):
drama internally for you, thenstop it.

Darren Lee (24:00):
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(24:23):
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Well, isn't that inherently whatthe best coaches are with
boundaries?
So, if you can add a boundarylimit, because I'm actually in
that boat, like I'm inherentlyinsecure, so I want to over
deliver and especially for ouragency, it's service delivery,
so we can technically overdeliver all the time and we try

(24:43):
to over index in that, whichactually just means we leave a
really good impression and havea good reputation.
And then we have a boundary ofdon't message me on whatsapp at
like two o'clock in the morning.
Okay, like it's like you can dothat with a boundary and still
become more successful thanhaving a very cold attitude,
which is why a lot of coachesdon't survive yeah and I think
this is where business versus ayou business, correct?

(25:05):
and I think this is where a lotof coaches don't survive.

Elizabeth (25:05):
Yeah, and I think this is where Because it's a me
business versus a you business,Correct.
And I think this is where thedefinition of boundaries comes
in right.
So I have a big saying in mycommunity, in my world, that if
you need boundaries, you'reprobably working with the wrong
people.
Right Now that's very differentin an agency world, but in the
coaching world, if you'reneeding boundaries, then you're

(25:28):
needing boundaries, then you'reworking with the wrong people,
because the people who you loveare never going to message you
at three o'clock in the morning.
The people who you love arenever going to disrespect dinner
time.
Like the people who you reallyare aligned with, you're not
going to need boundaries fromthem.
Like and you know the way Ilive with my team like our whole
team knows when and when tocall, Like.
So, for example, one of our teammembers has just had a baby.
I know that at 6.30 in themorning she's going to be

(25:49):
getting that baby up, she'sgoing to be feeding the baby and
then she's going to go for awalk.
So if I want to talk to her,I'm not going to talk to her
until 7.30 in the morning, whenI know that she's out for her
walk and everything's stable,for example.
So there's no need for her tohave a boundary, because I
respect her life and her spaceEqually with her.
There's no need for me to havea boundary, because she does the
same thing back.

(26:10):
And so this is how can you putmore and more aligned people
into your world so that thoseboundaries are never crossed and
therefore become unnecessary?
When you're starting out, it's abit different.
When you're starting out, youneed clear boundaries of what
you'll accept with warmth.
So if you want to say tosomeone and this is where

(26:31):
coaches get confused, right,Because they will say something
like you have access 24 seven toa chat.
Now, technically, that whatthat means is they can message
you at three o'clock in themorning, what you have to say is
you have access to the chat 24seven7 and I'll be available in
the chat on and off throughoutthe day.
Because then you've made aboundary without creating a

(26:53):
boundary.
And they know then that iftheir message at three o'clock
in the morning is to satisfytheir own need and that you're
not going to answer at threeo'clock in the morning.

Darren Lee (27:01):
Makes sense.
What other elements of NLP arekind of widely misunderstood?

Elizabeth (27:09):
Yeah, I think the biggest thing is that it is
actually looking at theunconscious mind and learning
how to make sense of it andutilize it.
Now, if we combine that with awhole lot of other things, it
can be utilized incorrectly,which would be bad.
So with everything in life,there's the positive application
and the negative application.
Yeah, so, um, there was a thingcalled the MK ultra project

(27:32):
that was used with the CIA um inthe seventies in the U S right,
where they created doubleagents, where they utilized some
mind control, hypnosis and afew other things, including
psychedelics and drugs for mindcontrol, and they created agents
who could have a life that wasat home, and the agents had no

(27:53):
idea that when they went to work, trigger words would be used
and they would switch on theiralter ego or their alter
personality and then they wouldgo out and become killing
machines and then they wouldcome back, the trigger words
would be used and they'd go home.
So they were basically completesplit personalities and they
never knew it had happened, andso a lot of people have kept
that, you know, held onto thatthat happened in the seventies

(28:14):
and gone.
It wasn't part of NLP, however,the techniques of NLP were
utilized in it, and so so somepeople go, oh it's bad, it's
mind control, right?
The thing is, is someone'salready controlling your mind or
something's already controllingyour mind, like if you're
sitting watching Netflix orscrolling on your phone the

(28:36):
whole time, you are beingprogrammed all the time.
All advertising material isprogram material, right, if you
believe in anything, that's aprogram.
Now can you believe in nothing?
Absolutely not.
So it's not about unprogrammingyourself.
It's about programming yourselfwith the best possible program
for the outcome that you want.

Darren Lee (28:56):
How do you do that in the context of someone's
business?
Because I completely agree withyou, it's like the dose is
super important and the contextis super important.
So I'll give you a story frommy first mastermind.
A guy was there in a kind ofpersonal development space, kind
of the healing space, and heasked me why do I think like

(29:17):
some people crush it in apersonal development space, like
entrepreneurs, versus therandom guy that walks around
Uber with no shoes?
And I just said it was acontext with the outcome of
business.
So if you look at like a mindvolley, whether you like them or
hate them, I don't even knowthem.

Elizabeth (29:30):
They're great at it.

Darren Lee (29:31):
They just said here is personal development to make
more money.
They didn't say it, but theyinferred it and he put Stephen
Barrett more money.
So they use it in the rightcontext.
Yes, so I think that's kind ofbasically backing up your point
as well.
It's just like we need torealign it towards any type of

(29:52):
business owner, but specificallywho you actually work with.

Elizabeth (29:55):
Yeah.
So, for example, the guywalking barefoot in Ubud, who
does he want to serve?
If he's living in Ubud, he'sprobably looking for spiritual
people.
Yeah, and he's living in Ubud,he's probably looking for
spiritual people.
Yeah, so, and he's probably inlarger spiritual himself,
because there's a lot of thosekind of people live in Ubud,
right?
So he's in this journey wherehe wants things slow, he wants
to meditate every morning, hewants to be chilled out and at

(30:16):
the same time, he's expectingfast pace in his business.
Like that's just incongruent,you know what I mean.
So he's energetically creatingthis calm, still lifestyle while
expecting to gain a whole lotof money for it and would you?

Darren Lee (30:29):
say that's not possible it's completely
impossible.

Elizabeth (30:33):
Like I would go that far if he was living in ubud and
he was up every morning doingthe work on his business and
then he went to meditate atlunchtime, when the sun is at
its hottest, when it actuallymakes sense to rest.
Then perhaps he could stillhave a meditative lifestyle and
make money completely agree thething is is in the morning, the

(30:54):
sun gets up, the birds get up,the animals get up, the cars go
out.

Darren Lee (30:57):
Like the energy in any country is in the morning,
if you're not utilizing it,you're stupid so when you're,
when you've new people cominginto your world and you're
getting them huge breakthroughs,yeah, how much of those you
think are like everlasting?
Like how much time do you needto go back to the mechanism and

(31:17):
modality?

Elizabeth (31:18):
yeah.
So I think you have to think ofpersonal development as
non-linear.
So it's a spiral, and so you goaround and up right, and so
every time you come back aroundto where that favorite flavor
exists so say, your favoriteflavor is I'm not good enough.
You're going to get over theI'm not good enough at this
level and then you're going togo around on this nice journey
and it's going to feel great andthen eventually, as you start

(31:40):
to ascend to the next level,you're going to come back around
to that I'm not good enough toascend to the next level.

Darren Lee (31:45):
you're going to come back around to that.
I'm not good enough, Is that?

Elizabeth (31:48):
subconscious or unconscious, because I honestly
don't think I ever think aboutthose things.

Darren Lee (31:49):
It's completely unconscious.
And where does it?
Where does it manifest?

Elizabeth (31:52):
Yeah, so the way that you mentioned it before you
said, what did you say aboutyourself?
You mentioned that you are a Idon't think you're largely an
insecure person.

Darren Lee (32:00):
I'm inherently insecure.

Elizabeth (32:04):
Yeah, so that insecurity would be that problem
.
Right, that's that mindset.
So you're insecure aboutsomething.
You get over the insecurity,you create the new thing.
You come around the corner andwhen you come back again to the
next level, there's a new typeof insecurity to have.
And so then you overcome thatand as you go further and
further up, it becomes a muchquicker process and you barely

(32:24):
notice it.
So now you wouldn't be noticingit so much.
However, when that firstbusiness failed, you probably
went, oh my God, should I do itagain?
I don't know if I should, andyou probably took a lot longer
then than what you would now toovercome it.
And then you come around and upthe spiral, and so when someone
comes into our integrated NLPtraining room, for example,

(32:44):
viral, and so when someone comesinto our integrated nlp
training room, for example, theyall come in at different levels
.

Darren Lee (32:48):
We have a huge, huge variance of people that come
into our room that must be toughto hold the room well, I have a
fantastic team but it's justinteresting because, like our
masterminds are based on revenue, so sometimes that's the
difficulty is like people are indifferent parts of their
journey yeah but for you it'slike it's different.

Elizabeth (33:04):
There's a bit of mind , there's a bit of mindset,
there's a bit of relationships,there's a bit of money, there's
a bit of job security, there's abit of, like, what's going on
in their brain, there's a bit ofwhat's going on in their body.
There's multiple differentthings, okay, and and it all
comes down to the root cause,though all of those challenges
have been created by one rootcause in their body.

Darren Lee (33:24):
Okay, let's really stay in that.
So the limiting belief coupledwith the root cause of it.
So I think for people listeningto as well, it's like think
about this in your context.
So my context is I'm a smallguy inherently.
So, when I was younger, I gotreally big and I'm like, I'm
quite like big, let's say inthere.
Right.

(33:48):
But I'm small and hide, yeah, soit's kind of like this, like
it's like um, how to describe itis it's like a tie down, but
it's effectively it's adifferent way.
It's like it's an you overcomethe the obstacle with like
undeniable proof absolutely, soI can go to the gym yeah because
I just did it.
Then the next thing comes with,like intelligence, I'm
inherently not that smart.
I just sat in the library forfour years straight and then I
did very well on my exams, yeah,um.

Elizabeth (34:05):
So my kind of reaction is like brute force,
effectively, yeah to the thingand I think, I think largely all
entrepreneurs are brute force,yeah, and so you have these
entrepreneurs that are like Idon't want to do it like that.
It's like, well, that's justhow an entrepreneur knows how to
do it I've never, ever, saidsomething like that.

Darren Lee (34:23):
Am I tired?
I completely understand thosepeople.
If someone's like that to me,I'm like this is not going to
work out for you.

Elizabeth (34:28):
Yeah, it's like you're not an entrepreneur.
It's cool.
It's cool, you might still havesome success, but you're not
going to be an entrepreneur ifyou don't want to at some point
create some necessary.
Yeah, and the thing is is if youwere in a game show where you
got locked in a dungeon, I'dlove it.

(34:49):
If you're in a game show whereyou got locked in a dungeon and
the object was to get out for $5million, at first you'd be
strategic, but the minute thatit got into your brain that the
other person in the otherdungeon the time had been long
enough that they might'vefigured it out you'd use brute

(35:09):
force to get out of that room.
And this is the thing is, youwill do whatever it takes and
you'll start at the top of logicand then you'll slowly come
down until you're in brutephysicality.
Okay, right, and so the same,with a root cause.
What happens is people start inlogic, so say you know, say
they get hurt by a woman, likeif it's a guy, a young guy, he's
starting his entrepreneurialjourney, he's doing okay, and

(35:29):
then his girlfriend leaves himand it's a pretty messy breakup.
There's going to be a bit of I'mnot good enough, come up for
him, yeah.
And so he'll do one of twothings He'll either work harder
to prove he's good enough whichis great, that's success or
he'll suddenly go deep into thefeelings and stay stuck in a
cycle of feeling pretending hewants success but never actually

(35:53):
doing enough to gain it.
So then we have to go back downto that root cause, and the
root cause in something likethat is probably something like
his mother left him or hisfather left him when he was
young and he has this massivefear of abandonment.
so the girlfriend leaving himhas brought up all that old
trauma from when he was youngand he believes then that, like

(36:15):
and he doesn't know, this is allhappening on an unconscious
level, right?
So what we do is we go backdown to that root cause,
recognize that, yes, somethinghappened to you.
It's terrible, it may haveinfluenced you.
It does not define you, yeah.
So the thing is, is thedifference between definition?

(36:36):
If we get a lot of women who'vebeen sexually abused, right,
and?
And, yes, that's a terriblething, it should never have ever
happened to them?
But the fact is that they're anadult now and they get to
choose.
They get to choose whetherthey're going to live their
whole life through that story orthey get to choose whether
they're going to do the work toactually recover from that story
and and create a life that theyactually want to live that's so

(36:58):
powerful.

Darren Lee (37:00):
So, when you identify that root cause, how do
you, how do you solve it forthem?
Because, like even for myself,right, um, like when I was
younger, like extreme, extremepressure on like sports.
I'm like, yeah, like I was likevery close to being a pro
athlete for actually differentsports, but that's caused, like
obviously, a couple of thousandother things.

(37:21):
But that's where, like, theneed to not need desire to be
like exceptional things comesfrom.

Elizabeth (37:28):
Yes.

Darren Lee (37:28):
Because, like, I'm from an individual sport
background, yeah, but knowingthat and let's say that bled
into negative consequences,let's say, instead of having a
reaction of getting better, Ilike leaned into devices of like
sex and drugs and alcohol,which for many years I actually
also did.
How do you actually overcomethat then?

(37:48):
True nlp or true your practicesand may not even be nlp to have
those breakthroughs and then toalso stay aligned to that?

Elizabeth (37:58):
yeah, so it depends on whether you're asking the
method or the intention.
So I guess the method to solvethe root cause and then, I guess
, can you spend the intention,yeah, so we have thoughts,
feelings and actions, right,okay, all humans have thoughts,
feelings and actions, and thosethree things happen within the
context of environment.
So a lot of people go.

(38:19):
I just have to change mythoughts, right, like if
someone's had a breakup and allthey keep thinking about is the
breakup they go.
I just have to change mythoughts.
I just have to change mythoughts.
I just have to change mythoughts and they focus on the
thoughts, but actually thethoughts are the problem.
So if you keep focusing on them, they'll keep being the problem
so you have to go.
Okay, the thought is where theproblem exists, so let me go to
feelings or actions.

(38:40):
So what can I do differently?
Or what can I feel differentlyabout it?
Because in a breakup you mightbe able to feel well, thank
goodness they're gone, I canfocus on my business.

Darren Lee (38:48):
How can you feel differently?
Genuine question.
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Elizabeth (38:52):
So if you can't right because some people are capable
of feeling straight away andsome people are not- I'm
definitely not Genuinely,genuinely as in like I don't
know how to.

Darren Lee (39:02):
I wouldn't know how to change my feelings
consciously.

Elizabeth (39:06):
Yeah.
So just imagine you're in afeeling of sadness.
The way to get out of sadnessis to create more joy.
So you create more joy untilit's so overabundant that it's
impossible to feel sadness okay,so what that's called bypassing
right.
So that's called bypassing yourfeelings so what we want to do?
is.
We want to actually get to theroot cause of the sadness,

(39:29):
disconnect that and then createabundant joy.
Yeah, because if you disconnectsadness but you don't create
joy, you're just going to leavesomeone feeling a void.
And if they feel a void,eventually they'll fill the void
with something.
And so if you haven't giventhem the tools and resources to
fill it with something positive,they'll go and fill it back up
the same way they did in thefirst place and end up with the

(39:49):
same problem again so that's whyentrepreneurs would
self-sabotage a hundred percent,because what happens is they
get to a level and they go okay,cool, I'm clear.
And they create a void, and thenthe void exists and they go I
don't know what to do with thisand so they start filling it up
with all the old shit, becausethat's the program it's funny
because you know, charlie,obviously very well, yeah like

(40:11):
charlie is a friend of mine anda client of mine.

Darren Lee (40:13):
Yeah, and whenever we go back and forth, he will
tinker with things to break them.
Yeah, he'll just try break itand then he'll.
He'll stop himself like, oh,I'm trying to sell sabotage yeah
if something will work,perfectly fine and he will try
to like break it yeah, becausethat's his whole program he will
try to like break it.
Then he'll stop himself to befair.
But even like andrew, who youmet at the weekend in person,
like he will.
He will do things deliberatelyto fuck something that's working

(40:36):
well.
Yeah, that's crazy, and also Ido this too right.
I'm not like a.

Elizabeth (40:43):
If you look at them and they both have different
reasons for it.
From my conversations with them, however, the thing is is that
at some point in their lifesomething broke that they have
not yet reconciled in their mind, right?
So if you are someone who wantsto break things all the time,
so say it's a guy who gets in arelationship, it's going well
and he breaks it.

(41:03):
Then he gets in anotherrelationship it's going well and
he breaks it, and he just hasthis constant pattern of ruining
relationships.
It's because at some pointthere was a ruined relationship
in his life that he can't makesense of it.
So most of our deep programscome from a trauma if you want
to use that word that happenedwhen we were before the age of
seven, that we haven't madesense of yet.
So say your parents split upwhen you were four.

(41:26):
On some level, as a child,you're going to think it's
because of you, because afour-year-old doesn't know that
other people exist.
They just know that they exist.
So they look at mom and dad andgo it must be me All right.
And they don't do thatconsciously, it happens
unconsciously.
And so then throughout theirlife they're going to create
relationships that havechallenges, because really what
they're wanting to do is solvethe problem of their mom and dad
in their own mind, because theycouldn't reconcile it when they

(41:49):
were a child.
So they spend their adulthoodtrying to reconcile it and so
they create the same problemover and over again in order to
get the answer to the originalproblem.
If we go back and actually givethem the resources they have
now to the four-year-old childenergetically, then we clear up
that energetic line.
They no longer have to spendtheir whole life trying to solve

(42:10):
the problem what would be someof those like frameworks and
tactics people can use so tomake this super actionable yeah,
so we use something calledemotional change technique,
which is a a timeline techniquethat I developed and where and
we combine the mind, the bodyand the spirit and we actually
take them back to that period oftime where that first trauma
happened.
We disconnect the trauma fromthe physical, the mental and the

(42:33):
emotional, or the physical, themental, mental, spiritual in
that moment.
We then bring them forward ontheir timeline.
And this is going to soundwoo-woo to a lot of people.

Darren Lee (42:41):
Sorry, how can you detach from that?

Elizabeth (42:42):
Yeah, so we we actually get them to find the
positive intention of the traumathat happened to them.

Darren Lee (42:49):
So you've mentioned trauma a few times.
What's your definition oftrauma?

Elizabeth (42:52):
I know you think trauma is just something that's
happened to you that has createda program.
Now, that's very different towhat some people would call
trauma.
So some people are like traumais when you go to war and you
see some guys shot up in frontof you.
Some people would say trauma iswhen you're actually abused.
That's an effect, right, butthat's actually the effect of
the trauma.
So everyone has experiencedsomething that they would label
as a traumatic event.

(43:13):
So it might've been like for me.
One of the things was riding mybike down a hill and crashing
into the rose bushes and endingup with thorns all through my
leg.
That then went posse and Iremember thinking it was so cool
that my leg went posse that Iended up becoming a nurse, right
?
So my my first job was being anurse because I actually thought
the posse was cool.
Now that's a program.

(43:34):
It's the same thing with trauma.
So if that trauma had resultedin a negative thought, I might
never have got back on a bike,right?

Darren Lee (43:42):
so if I didn't like the past or I didn't like the
pain that it caused, then Imaybe never would have ridden a
bike again and it's funnybecause in the context of this I
was thinking back to my journeyand I'll tell you kind of
offline, like the actual event,but I had a really bad
experience with water as a youngkid.
Really really bad.
I'll tell you about it later.
Someone in my team had thathappen.
Basically, I had like hidden it, or what's the word.

Elizabeth (44:05):
Like subdued it.
So basically, you just buriedit deep in your unconscious mind
.

Darren Lee (44:09):
Until, and, as a result, I was never really good
at swimming and I never took thewater.
Now I can swim, swim, but Inever like.
found it interesting yeah untilI'd actually moved to singapore
and I had a 50 meter pool in my,my, my condo and I got into
long distance swimming, and thenit wasn't many years years
later.
I had reconciled that, thatimpact of that event, yes, and

(44:34):
then I was like holy fuckingshit, this is actually the
reason why I always stayed awayfrom water, even though I was
actually good at swimming when Igot into the pool, yeah, so it
was like this thing that I hadhidden or suppressed, that had
manifested in other ways yeahthat had made me second guess
myself.
Yeah and yeah, arguably I'vereconciled that maybe I haven't

(44:55):
in this way.
That's why I'm very, uh,hesitant to say I've overcome
something, because obviouslyI've barely touched the surface,
compared to, like someone likeyourself who knows, like, how to
get into the the depths ofsomething.

Elizabeth (45:07):
Yeah, and it's a convoluted path, right, so
there's multiple things thathappen on the way that you're
like is that it?
Is that it?

Darren Lee (45:12):
no, maybe that's not it it's like an open and you
closed loop circuit.

Elizabeth (45:15):
So you've got to, basically because these are
people who have all the doorsshut right In their room.
Like, if we loop back to what Isaid at the beginning, they've
got all the doors shutinternally.
And so, as an NLP practitionerand as a trainer myself, I go in
and start opening doors and yousee what's behind the doors,
and when you start openingenough doors, people have to
reveal what's behind the doorhow do you do that with someone

(45:39):
who has that suppressed, likeeffects or trauma, and I'm even
hesitant saying the wordsbecause obviously it means
different things in your context.

Darren Lee (45:46):
But like I'm saying, it's true, my lens, and I
suppose it's really good becausewe can look at someone with
ptsd, right, so okay.

Elizabeth (45:51):
So if we go to someone who's experienced war
and they've experienced wartrauma, where they've actually
seen some pretty horrific things, so language is really
important a lot of people willsay things like if they have to
get on their moped in the rainin bali, they'll go oh, it's
horrific.
But actually horrific comesfrom the word horror, and if you
think about horror, you don'tthink of someone riding a moped

(46:13):
in bali.

Darren Lee (46:14):
That's me in the morning going out to get my
coffee.

Elizabeth (46:18):
So you use this word horrific.
But there's actually no horror,but this is how we use, this is
how we create problems, right?
So we create problems by usingthis challenging word to mean
that, and then we're more likelyto experience more traffic on
the road or whatever, because wecreate our reality with every
word we speak.
So if we go to someone withPTSD, they've actually seen
something horrific, right.
They've had a horrificexperience in the context of

(46:38):
horror that most people wouldconsider horror.
However, the way that they'vecreated it is, they've got a
visual, in other words, they sawsomething.
Associated to that, they've gotusually a noise, so some kind
of auditory, and then,associated to that, they've got
a feeling.
Now, most people know about thevisual, the auditory and the

(46:59):
kinesthetic, or the feelingright.
What people forget when they'retreating PTSD is that largely,
there's a smell, right, and sowe have five senses, and this is
what we work with in anintegrated NLP.
So we have our sight, ourvisions, we have our ears, our
auditory, we have our skin andour touch is our kinesthetic.
Then we have our smell, whichis our ol.
We have our skin and our touchis our kinesthetic.
Then we have our smell, whichis our olfactory, and then we

(47:21):
have taste, which is gustatory.
So when you're dealing withsomething like PTSD, the reason
that it's so deep and so hard toget rid of is because it
doesn't just exist in the visual, the auditory and the
kinesthetic.
There's always an olfactory ora gustatory, so a smell or a
taste that holds it in place,and most therapists forget to go
there.
So what we would do is we haveto.

(47:43):
First of all, we have todisconnect the visual, right?
We don't want them toconstantly close their eyes
every night and see the samepicture, so we do that by
creating a new picture for them.
We then have to get rid of theauditory, so we have to put new
sounds in place, or we have tobasically turn down the dial in
their brain that controls howloud that noise was.
Then the feeling has to changeand the way we do the feeling is

(48:05):
we use a process calledanchoring.
So anchoring comes from, likeyou would be familiar with the
knee jerk response when a doctorhits your hammer on your knee,
your leg kicks up right.
So we can utilize anchoring inmultiple different places in the
body to re-change the feelingthat someone's having.
So, and by doing that wedisconnect the feeling, and then

(48:26):
most therapists stop there andat that point someone with PTSD
is largely going to have animprovement Yet over time and
this is what the question youasked before.
So over over time it'll slowlycreep back in because you
haven't given them enoughdisconnection from the event.
Because if you can imaginesomeone's in war and there's
bodies in front of them, thenthere's a smell, right, and that

(48:50):
smell is what holds the wholememory in place.
So unless you disconnect thesmell, which most therapists
think is unimportant, thenthey're going to be laying in
bed one night.
They'll get the picture.
They know how to flick thepicture away, but the smell will
be there and it'll pull thewhole image back in and the
whole feeling back in and thewhole noise back in.
And so you have to disconnectall five senses when you're

(49:11):
working with PTSD, becausethey're very closely linked.

Darren Lee (49:15):
How do you disconnect the smell?

Elizabeth (49:17):
Yeah, you have to give them a new smell.
So I'll give you an example.
Recently there was a policemanthat had come into our world and
one of the kids that he'd hadto resuscitate had used some,
you know, those little bulbsthat you blow cream up with I
can't remember what they'recalled Like if you have a shaker
thing with anyone puttingwhipped cream on something the
little bulb things, yeah, sothis kid had been sniffing that

(49:40):
and he'd found him in the streetand he had to resuscitate him,
and so he had absolutelydisconnected the picture.
He was like you know, it wasunfortunate, but it happened.
He disconnected the noise whichwas someone screaming saying
help, help.
He disconnected the feeling ofyou know, okay, it's too late, I

(50:01):
can't feel anything anymorebecause this person's died.
But what he couldn't disconnectwas the smell of that stuff,
because every time he's closedhis eyes and thought about the
boy, instead of being able tojust swipe it away or he could
just smell it.
And so what we did is weactually looked at his
environment on that day, and itwas outside a shopping center,
and so I got him to look reallyclosely at the scene and
identify what other smells wereavailable to him on that day so

(50:22):
that he didn't have to focus onthat one smell.
So, for example, the policestation was across the road.
It had a rose garden, so thescent of roses was in the air.
There was hot dogs inside theshopping center that was in the
air.
There was a guy doing a wheeliedown the street like a not a
wheelie, a burnout down thestreet, so there was a smell of
rubber in the air.
And so then what you do is youturn down the dial on the smell

(50:43):
that he doesn't want to smelland you turn up the dial in the
brain on the smells that werealso available at exactly the
same time, in order to cut thattrauma pattern so you find the
smell smell, which is the rootcause.

Darren Lee (50:58):
But how do you attach it?

Elizabeth (51:01):
Through anchoring.

Darren Lee (51:02):
Yes sorry.

Elizabeth (51:03):
I think I'm missing the series.
The actual processes are calledsubmodalities and anchoring.
Okay.
Yeah, and we teach you those inNLP.

Darren Lee (51:11):
And is there a scenario whereby you can like
overcome it and it's like done?

Elizabeth (51:16):
It's done's done, completely done crazy.

Darren Lee (51:21):
Yeah, when would it resurface?
As in in the event when youdon't hit all five.

Elizabeth (51:27):
It won't, so I'll give you another example, a guy
who was in afghanistan I won'tgive you the details because
it's quite horrific.
Um, so he came to me and Iworked with him for four weeks,
which was one hour a week, soessentially four hours, and his
ptsd is gone now.
He had been going through rehabfor five years, right, so he's

(51:47):
gone to therapists he'd gone toyou know, different kinds of
therapy for five years came tome.

Darren Lee (51:52):
We did it in four hours, and when he attempts to
go back on his timeline, like ifhe looks to his past, there's
just nothing there I thinkwhat's so interesting, um is
when you look at the kind ofpersonal development sphere,
everyone consciously orunconsciously kind of shits on
other people's modalities.

(52:12):
Yeah right, and when I waslooking up more about nlp,
people were saying like, oh,like, the scientific evidence of
nlp isn't there.
Now, if we were to followscience, we'd all be taking jobs
every 20 seconds right, let'sbe clear but similarly, you know
you'd reflect on the psychologybeing like, oh, like, that
wasn't effective yeah two thingslike one why do you think that

(52:34):
is and then did it have thatnegative reaction?
And then two what's yourfeedback for people when they
criticize NLP?

Elizabeth (52:45):
Yeah.
So where focus goes, energyflows right.
So we all know that we have areticular activating system in
our brain which is, say, youwant to buy a new white Ferrari,
you're going to see whiteFerraris.
All of a sudden, they're justgoing to be everywhere.
They'll be in magazines,they'll be on advertising,
you'll see them driving down thestreet because you're focused
on that.
Similarly, when someone isfocused on the problem which
largely psychiatrists andpsychologists are, they focus on

(53:07):
the problem then every time yougo in for a session, you're
focused on the problem.

Darren Lee (53:17):
So your brain will keep finding the problem.
If we're focused on thesolution, our brain will look
for the solution.
I remember when I went back totherapy for one of many reasons,
but I remember it was weeklyand I was.
I was doing a lot of stuff inbetween, like I was focused on
it, I was training a lot.
I felt like I was gettingbetter.
But whenever I'd go back tothat session on like a Tuesday
evening, they were like no, no,no, you got to go all the
bathroom before Because they goback to that session on like a
Tuesday evening they were likeno, no, you gotta go all the

(53:38):
bathroom, you're four, becausethey go back to the problem
every single time and it waslike eight weeks of me doing the
same fucking thing that I feltlike I was like, oh my fucking
god, I'm way better if it was onmy own.
Yeah, you know, because I'm likefuture pacing.
Yeah, it's like a business,right?
You're always looking at thenext thing versus the previous
thing yeah, and that doesn'tmean bypassing.

Elizabeth (53:55):
You definitely have to deal with that old thing.
However, you have to also befuture pacing yourself, yes, and
so that's why I said that,largely, this will work better
because we're focused on whatthe outcome is.
We want the outcome rather thanthe problem.

Darren Lee (54:08):
And it's the same with the medication that's
prescribed, right?
My observation from people thatI know it's not like hey, hey,
we're going to put you on like150 milligrams of antidepressant
to come off it in six months.
It's just like you're just onit.
So it becomes like thislifestyle event that is, that is
basically embedded into yournew surroundings, and one of

(54:29):
them, someone that's very closeto me.
I worked with them directly tojust be like hey, like okay,
over the next 180 days, let'slook to reduce the medication in
this way.
Of course, make sure thateverything's aligned and you
feel good and it doesn't, youknow, fuck your hormones and
everything.
But for the most part, likelet's try get off this thing
yeah.

Elizabeth (54:47):
so the thing get better.
If we look at the research,antidepressants only work in one
percent of people that are puton them.
Most people you speak to thatare on antidepressants will
report that they're stilldepressed, and it's because
antidepressants have a way ofjust dulling everything down,
and so even when the person getsover that initial challenge,

(55:09):
everything else is dialed down,so we can't fill them up with
joy, so they still experiencethis large level of depression.
And so, if we look at that,coming off the medication is
possible.
Now, should everyone come offmedication all of a sudden?
Absolutely not.
However, when we're talkingabout depression, there's new
research that shows that it'snot about a chemical imbalance
in the brain.

(55:29):
That research came out aboutsix months ago and everyone
thought that the whole problemwith depression was that you had
a chemical imbalance in yourbrain and you had to fix the
chemicals by giving themmedication.
Actually, that's not true, andnow we've got a big study that's
a useful study that shows thatit's not about that.
Yeah, and so what we want to dois actually make people happy,

(55:51):
actually go to the root cause ofthe depression disconnect that
change the visual, theauditesthetic, the smell, the
taste and make it better sobasically your response kind of
more to the criticism is that ifthey focus on that, then that
becomes a reality like what'sfocal is causal, which is robert
cialdini, absolutely, we saidthis today as well.

Darren Lee (56:09):
Yeah, it's if you focus on that.
But again, you're focusing moreon the joy, which I completely
agree with, future pacing, theopportunity versus the drawback.

Elizabeth (56:19):
Yeah, and then in terms of if people are
criticizing the personaldevelopment industry or NLP, so
what I think is really importantis that we focus on what we
want, and so I don't even wantto answer that question because
it's not in my reality.

Darren Lee (56:35):
Yeah, it's kind of like when people say don't start
a business because it's goingto fail.
It's like if you think it's notin my reality.
Yeah, it's kind of like whenpeople say don't start a
business because it's going tofail.
It's like if you think it'sgoing to fail, it will just fail
.

Elizabeth (56:40):
Yeah, so rather not focus on that, because otherwise
I would be buying into the samething and just sitting on my
own industry.

Darren Lee (56:48):
It's just so interesting, right?
Because if you are focused onactually just getting better
improving your businessimproving are focused on
actually just getting betterimproving your business,
improving yourself, improvingrelationships and your health
then doing just something to dowith it, it's going to be better
than what you're doing rightnow.

Elizabeth (57:01):
And then there's absolutely no choice but to
succeed.

Darren Lee (57:03):
Yes, yeah, exactly.
Who was your biggest influenceswith this?

Elizabeth (57:12):
Yeah, great.
So my biggest influences JimRohn and Tony Robbins.
So I had a CD of Jim Rohn,who's he was basically the guy
who Tony Robbins learned from,and so I had a CD from him when
I was young and I just used tolisten to it on repeat and it
was more about learning how Icould do something at a time
that I couldn't afford anything.
So I couldn't afford personaldevelopment, but this free CD

(57:32):
had come in the mail and I waslike I'm just going to keep
listening to that and like therewas a point in my life where I
could have probably recited thewhole CD.
That's no longer the case, andfrom that I learned that, oh,
the person who came after himwas Tony Robbins.
Tony Robbins used to clean thefloor at Jim Rohn events and
clean the toilets at Jim Rohn'sevents, because Tony Robbins

(57:53):
couldn't afford it.

Darren Lee (57:54):
What was Tony Robbins' background?

Elizabeth (57:56):
So he was poor Like he was.
He grew up in a really poorfamily.
He wanted to do something Hugefamily, right, Big family and he
wanted to do something.
So Jim Rohn said, well, if youwant to come to my event and you
can't afford a ticket, you cancome and clean the toilets and
that'll get you in the room.
And so he did.
And so then I'm like, okay, Ilike this guy because he's had
tenacity from the beginning, solet's go listen to some of his

(58:16):
stuff.
And then and then I went to afew Tony Robbins events, which
you know a part of my storywhich doesn't need to be
explored here very much, but Iwas very, very unwell and then I
did a firewalk and suddenlystarted becoming better and one
of those things for me was likeI started there.
And then since then, I'vespoken at events with Tony
Robbins, right, so we've been onthe same stages together,

(58:37):
speaking to 40,000 people, andthat's an incredible turnaround
from where I first was, when Ifirst went to one of his events.
But they would be the twobiggest male mentors In terms of
females.
There's, unfortunately, not alot of people that I have used
as my backup, Although I amgoing to say my grandmother

(58:59):
because she had super highstandards.
Super high standards Like whenyou're a little kid you did not
want to cross my grandmotherBecause if you did the wrong
thing, if you left a towel onthe floor or your sock in the
hallway, or like she would comeafter you.
However, those standards as anadult have served me well.

Darren Lee (59:17):
How you do one thing , so you do everything.
Absolutely tell me more aboutthe identity sort of.
The firewalk seems to be like away to shed, like the old
identity.
Yeah, and I see yourself andall of our team as well talk
about that identity shift and Ifeel like we don't lean into it
as much.
But the person who grows a bigbusiness they have to change
identity yeah how much do youlean into this?

(59:38):
because I think what's reallyimportant is about when you
understand nlp or basically likehow you want to do the
transformation with someone orwhat transformation is.
What's very interesting is themodalities that you use, or like
what you actually teach people.
Right.
It's because it's very you'reteaching them a lot of business
skills, which is super unique.
Let's lean into the identitypart, like how do you think

(01:00:00):
about that and how do you changeyour identity?

Elizabeth (01:00:05):
Yeah, great.
So right now, if you'relistening to this podcast, then
you are a person who existswithin some kind of box or
framework that you've createdaround yourself as humans.
One of the things we thatyou've created around yourself
as humans, one of the things wereally like to feel is safe, and
so we create boxes aroundourselves, and so these boxes
have limitations.

(01:00:25):
In other words, everyone haslimitations, because every
belief you have is limiting.
Now, can we get rid of all ourbeliefs?
Absolutely not.
You have to choose the mostempowering ones.
So if you have a belief thatyou're a millionaire, then it's
limiting you from becoming abillionaire, right?
Because you identify as amillionaire.
So if you start identifying asa billionaire, if you only hit

(01:00:50):
500 million, that would be okay,wouldn't it?
Like you'd still feel good.
So this is about you putyourself in a box, whatever that
is.
So let's take someone who hasjust finished school and they're
thinking about starting abusiness and they're not sure
how to do it.
They've currently gotthemselves in the box of most
likely my parents want me to goto uni or college.

(01:01:13):
They've got the box of I don'thave enough money.
They've got the box of I don'thave enough money.
They've got the box of I don'treally know where to start.
I don't know what this firststep is, and so they've got this
box of identity around them andthey feel safe in that box, and
so they've created the problemsthat exist within that box.
There's a whole nother boxavailable to them, which has got
its lid wide open, ready toaccept them, which is actually

(01:01:36):
tenacity, discipline and focuswill get you into the new box,
right?
And so for some people, they'lllisten to people like us talk
about tenacity, discipline andfocus and they'll jump into the
new box and then the old boxneeds to be shut and burned so
that they can't go back.
And this is where that conceptof burn the boats comes from

(01:01:58):
right.
So the story of the army wentto the island and the captain
said you know?
The second in charge said howare we going to take the island?
And the captain said I don'tknow, but there's only one way
we burn the boats.
And they burnt the boats.
So they had to win the war onthe island because there was no
way off if they didn't, right,if they didn't.
Now am I all about burn theboats?
No, I actually think that youneed to, in today's day and age,

(01:02:24):
hold on to some level offinancial security, whether
that's just a part-time job,working at a cafe, doing
something.
When you first start, I feel asthough if you put yourself into
survival, you're going to goback to the survival box.
So just have something.
It only needs to be a littlebit.
It just needs enough to makeyou eat and have somewhere to
live.

Darren Lee (01:02:39):
And it also satisfies the need, so that
you're not super stressed andacting out of a sympathetic
nervous system Desperation.

Yeah, exactly, it keeps us in a parasympathetic
system, right.
So then what we have to do iswe have to go.
Okay, cool, what is the newidentity I want to step into?
And how does that person behave?
So, when I first decided tobecome a millionaire, one of the
first things I did was throwout my television, because I was
like there is no millionairethat is sitting down watching TV

(01:03:07):
at night.
They're just not doing it.
So I threw out my television.
My kids were not particularlyhappy, and I'm like we can do
other things, because if youwere playing and this is what my
family did, because I had kidsby the time I decided to be an
entrepreneur.
Like it's crazy, we playedmonopoly.
Why?
Because monopoly is all aboutproperty investing, it's about

(01:03:28):
dealing, it's about trading,it's about learning principles
of business, and so you play agame that's actually going to
benefit you in business Rightnow.
I don't know, it worked for meand it worked for lots of other
people too Even playing cards.
You're learning strategy, right?
So, get rid of like.
This is what I did.

(01:03:48):
I got rid of the TV and I usedthat time to still have
connective time with my family.
I didn't work necessarily inthat time and then after the
kids went to bed, then I'd workmy family.
I didn't work necessarily inthat time, and then after the
kids went to bed, then I'd work,and I wanted to work because I
was really, really excited aboutcreating that new identity.
So if someone's in their box ofidentity, then they have the

(01:04:09):
same problems of anyone else inthat box of identity.
And so over time someone likeme can look at the problems and
go, oh, that's the box you're in.
We just need to open this box.
And once we open this box andmake it attractive enough and
give you the tools and resources, you can jump into it.
Right.
So how do you do it foryourself?
Well, first of all you have towork out what do you want as

(01:04:32):
your new identity, and mostpeople are pretty good with that
bit.
Most people can say I want tohave a business, I want it to
make you know a hundred K amonth and I want to feel good
and have some time to myself.
Most people are good at thatbit.
And then they go how, right.
And so then they need thestrategies and the tools and
techniques to get them throughthe how.

(01:04:52):
But then it gets to the whoright.
So we go what, how, and thenit's who?
And if they have, then becominga $100,000 a month business
owner is going to really messwith their identity, for
multiple reasons.
One of the biggest reasons isit'll make them different from
their parents, and if it makesthem different from their

(01:05:14):
parents, they lose the sense ofbelonging.
And all humans crave belonging,right?
If we look at Maslow'shierarchy of needs, one of the
big things is they need to feelbelonging, and so we want to be
able to allow them to keep thatbelonging.
Because if you can reconcile itand get to the fact of oh well,
if I make money, then maybe myfamily will start to learn how
to make money, then they'llhappily jump into the new box.

(01:05:36):
Yeah, and so that's how wecreate a change in identity and
it's almost like a realign to ahigher self right exactly you're
just moving.
You're moving up one of thosespiral levels you mentioned with
spiral dynamics me the otherday yeah, I did talk about
spiral dynamics, which is asystem developed by don beck,
but it actually is um, it'sactually values levels that we

(01:05:57):
want to talk about.
So that's an older system thatwas developed by a person called
claire graves, and the valueslevel system is a great way of
identifying where someone's atwithin a society, because
societal norms create thesedifferentiations in people based
on where they fit in thatsystem.
Now, you have to be carefulwith any of these systems.

(01:06:20):
Right, you've got things likevalues levels, you've got human
design, you've got astrology,you've got gene keys.
There's like so many differentsystems you could look at, and
every single one of them is abox.

So that was.
That's my issue with thepersonality types yeah, it puts
you in a box.
So, like everyone kind of noteveryone but people are like, oh
, like asking me to do thesetests, yeah, and then they're
like but what do you?
What do you do?
And I'm like I know what I want, or I know what I'm looking to
achieve, even in the short term,like from a business goal
perspective.
Respectfully, why the fuckwould I spend two hours doing

(01:06:53):
something like this to show tome that I should be resting when
the sun goes down?
It's like I finished this today.
I'll go eat food, I'll go tothe gym, I'll go to sauna, I'll
come back, I'll go to the officeand I'll just work.
So it's like I do see a lot ofvalue in it.
I'm not saying I don't, butwhat I'm just trying to say is
that if it's going to add somesort of semi-crutch, why is it

(01:07:17):
important?

Yeah, so you're talking about epigenetics, right
?
Yeah, just like boxing off.

Yeah, it's just another box, right, if let's say
what I was doing wasn't working, but what I'm doing for the
most part kind of works.
So like, what value does thatbring me?
In my current state, if I was asuper lazy, I'm like what's
wrong with me?

fair enough, absolutely none, you know so I'm
like those boxes are super,super useful for coaches to make
sense of, in order to identifysome of the qualities of which
box someone's in right but,they're never useful for self so
.

So you would recommend me learning that stuff
like the personality traits of,so I can self-identify, I can
identify so that you canidentify in your clients and use
it to help.

Because if you identified what values level
they were, for example, in orderto create success they need to
move to the next level.
So if you knew the motivationsthat would get that particular
value level to the next level,then you could utilize that as a
coach yeah, and I can.

We went through this in the mastermind too, which is
one of my coaches told me tochart out my clients yeah like
ego insecurities, based on whatI was, and that was a very high
level, just a very, very quickmap yeah so you're, you're
suggesting, almost doing thisfrom a perspective that you can
kind of identify for yourclients where they're currently
at and what's holding them backso that you can give them the
most effective motivationinteresting, and that's kind of

(01:08:37):
like when my wife is upset.
She always asks me to ask her doI want to help her with emotion
, provide, uh, more emotionalsupport, or does she want the
logic?
Yes, and she's yet to say thatshe wants the logic.

Women want the emotion, and that's a
generalization.
So the thing is is that if youclassify a client, you have to
be very mindful of your ownawareness, right?
So if you're a coach listeningto this and you don't have a
great sense of self-awareness,how would you know that you're
not yet making a lot of money?
Money, because in order to makea lot of money, you have to
have a lot of self-awareness,right?

(01:09:09):
If you have not a lot ofself-awareness and you start
putting judgments on yourclients, it's highly likely that
you're just projecting your ownself onto them and you want to
avoid that, right?
So you want to be able to lookat a client with no emotional
connection and to be able to gookay, cool, they're exhibiting
the behavior of this, this andthis.
Those behaviors exist withinthis system.

(01:09:31):
Whichever system you happen tobe using, what motivation will
move them to the next system?
That's the only place where anyof that stuff is useful.

When I was younger in my journey I would take these
things super personally.
So let's say I have a clientwho's super anxious and like
very controlling or like secondguessing or, you know, reviewing
things a bit too much.
It's very common inservice-based business.
I would over index on peoplepleasing because I would say
that inherently there's like me.
That's the problem.
But as I've gotten a little bitolder, if I'm, if I see

(01:10:02):
something that objectively isn'twrong but someone is poking
holes in it, I can kind ofidentify that as actually a
problem with them internally.
Like they're just trying to.
They're trying again tosabotage.

Yeah.
So one of the biggest beliefsthat I have is that perception
is projection, right.
So in other words, ifsomething's in my awareness,
then it's within me somewhere.
However, it's never like Ithink.
When you first start out it'squite direct and as you move
further along it's more indirect.
So in the beginning, when I waslike I come from a history of a
13 year abusive marriage with myex-husband right, so at the

(01:10:37):
time that I was being abused, itwould have been really easy to
just blame him and go he's aterrible person, right.
And at the time, that's exactlywhat I did.
When I managed to leave andgain more self-awareness and
heal a lot of myself, I was ableto look back and go.
Actually, I sabotaged who I wasall the time.

(01:10:57):
I fawned, I was a peoplepleaser, I was weak, hopeless,
and I actually allowed him totreat me like that.
Right now, did that make histreatment of me justifiable?
Absolutely not.
But did it show me that I alsoplayed a part in that?
Absolutely, and so I think youalways have to look at how did I

(01:11:21):
create this outside of yourself?
So, like if you've got a clientthat's really egotistical, for
example, it's like okay, well,cool.
How did you create that?
You're actually allowed to havean ego because you're successful
, right.
So it's like, okay, cool.
So this is actually a positivepart of me that's showing up in
them as a negative part, becausea lot of people talk about
letting go of ego.
You can't let go of it untilyou've had one and you can't

(01:11:42):
have one until you're successful.
You've had one and you can'thave one until you're successful
, all right.
So if we look at the true workof Sigmund Freud, who was the
person that identified ego, welook at the ego and the id.
Right, if you have no id right.
The identity, self-identity, sothey call it the id.
If you have no id, then youdon't know who you are.
If you have no ego, you don'tknow who you are with relation

(01:12:08):
to what your environment, and soyou have to develop an ego, try
it on for size before you canget rid of it.
And so a lot of people havethis thing of you know oh, too
much ego.
But actually, like you have anatural ego, just like I do, of
I am successful.
Now we're not egotistical aboutit, but that ego exists, it's
part of our external identityright and so when, if you're

(01:12:29):
looking at someone, they've gota big ego.
You know that's part of yourexternal identity.
So if I was you, I'd be lookingat their external identity and
going well, what does that?
How's that ego showing up inthem?
That external identity?
Because it's in me, because Iactually am good at what I do.
It's in them as a pretense.
So they're not yet good at whatthey do, but they have an ego.

(01:12:49):
So where in my life am Ipretending something?
And it might be as simple aslike for me.
I'm pretending to understandspreadsheets.
Right Now, if I'm pretending tounderstand spreadsheets,
there's probably someone in myworld who's pretending to have
an ego, because it's theenergetic concept of pretense
rather than anything else.

(01:13:10):
So if you've got someone inyour world that's got ego, you
have to then look at how arethey behaving in their
environment and go how are youdoing that same behavior
somewhere else in your life?

super interesting and I think it's how that kind
of also manifests manifests.
It blocks them.
I wouldn't say limits, but Iguess it is a limit, but it's
blocking them from getting tothe next level, whereas, as
you've seen right, you know thepeople that you've met that are
billionaires.
A lot of them will walk aroundand say that they work in
marketing, right, they're justvery chill that showed up

(01:13:39):
because it's like the moresuccess you have, the less of an
ego you have, the more of achild, more of like a child's
mentality, like a beginner'smind you have.
Yeah, so even for myself, Ifeel like when I was earlier on
my journey but making money, butnot a lot of money, but making
decent money I had a higher ego,and now I have none, which is
why I'm sitting here just beinglike and what's that like?
And you see me.

(01:14:00):
Yeah, ask you very stupidquestions what's it, yeah,
whereas before, when I wasrecording, like four years ago,
I would almost pretend that Iknow.
Yeah, and now I'm kind of atthis point where we're just
chilling in my house, yeah, andit's very flowy.

It's really great.

Because I have, like , literally nothing to prove.

Yeah, and I think that's the thing.
And you've also learned how tolearn like that.
So yesterday I went for a driveup to a waterfall and the whole
way I was at the driver what isthis?
Tell me about that.
Tell me about that, tell meabout that.
And I remember when I was a kidI used to get in trouble for

(01:14:37):
asking why all the time, becauseI'd be like, and why, and why,
and why, and my mum would go.
Enough of the why.
I have a deep desire to learnlike a child.
And I think you're the same.
It's like what happens if Ipush that button.
It's a curiosity right, and allgrowth starts with curiosity.
How can you get so curiousabout your own life that it

(01:14:58):
becomes exciting again?

Sahil Bloom puts that really well which is like
the map.
You know, it's like the videogame map and you're slowly going
into the darker parts and he'sbeen a huge influence of me.
I've spent a lot of time atSahel as well and it's like
allowing yourself to be thebeginner mindset I think, going
back the reason why I laughed atthe beginning when you said
about your friend pulling youaway when you started which is

(01:15:21):
you get to this point wherebyall those like beginner friends,
they're just gone quiteliterally and then you're kind
of in this new world wherebyyou're actually applauded for
being a beginner.
And I think this is when Iadvise people about content, I
always reference the beginnerversus the expert.

Yes, um, mindset so you never want to be an expert?

yes, so someone has been so someone like andrew
huberman.
He'll come out saying this isletter of the the law, the way
that the data looks like, andthat allows him to have well one
, a lot of authority but a lotof criticism, Whereas someone
like Chris Williamson willalways be the student and, as a
result, like women love him,guys want to be him, all this
kind of stuff, and he puthimself in that kind of position

(01:16:02):
the most dangerous position tobe in is someone who's not an
expert who tries to play theexpert, yeah, and then you get
slaughtered.

And who would want to be an expert anyway?
If you're an expert, like withthe way that technology,
information and data evolves atthe moment, right, it's
happening like every day there'ssomething new and incredible
being released.

There's no such thing as experts anymore and
also the value of being anexpert is almost zero.
Yes, the value is in the nuance.
If I can look at somethingobjectively and be like exactly
with the information that I knowyou shouldn't do it this way.
Even though there's no bookthat says a lot, it's just a
learned experience, yeah, withwith, uh, data of the clients
and so on, someone's like that'sfucking interesting and that's

(01:16:44):
literally how you approach yourbusiness and how I approach my
business, where I'm like you cando loads of stuff.
The last thing I ever asked forwas integration, but I was like
what I can help you guys withis this thing.

Yeah.

And in this way, yeah, and what I sometimes, I
kind of say like stop thinkingabout it, just kind of get
yourself into a scenario wherebyyou find a problem with a
process that works and again,what's focal or causal, what
happens it doesn't work yeah,problems happen versus like yeah

(01:17:19):
, what do you think about?
like dumb, I got a dumb energywhereby you almost remove the
the brain power of something andyou do it like let let me give
an example.
Someone like Usain Boltliterally doesn't think about
the thing.
He was a 400 meter track runner, so he in Jamaica they ran not
on track, but it was on sand,sand, dirt, and he was a 400

(01:17:43):
meter champion up until he was19.
And he just hated running 400meter.
Because, to train for 400, youhave to run 800.
So he hated running, so he wasgoing to quit or do something
lazy, which was run 100.
And then he just swapped andran 100 meters.
Now he never taught himself.
Well, I only started at 19.
He just did it and he literallyhas what I call dumb energy.

Also, he never, ever ran a 100 metre race, right.
So this is something peopleforget.
He never ran a 100 metre race.
He always ran a 400.
Yes, he just got to stop after100.
That was his whole approach.
So, his whole mindset right.
Like he was at the startingblocks, he was running for 400.

And he was trying to find a shortcut.
He was going to quit One tryingto find a shortcut.
He was going to quit.
Well, one of the one of theapproaches was like he hated
training for 400s.
It's like the most brutal raceof all time.
Actually, side tangent running,cause I ran track on a hundred
meter track, so, um, at a prettyhigh level, that the 400 meter
is actually more difficult thantraining for a marathon because
you're sprinting 800 meters theentire time.

(01:18:43):
So that's like the approach.
So that to me, is like theultimate definition of like.
Bear in mind, it's jamaica,right, they didn't have tracking
, they didn't have all at theheart centers and stuff as
advanced as america, which isobviously their competitor.
They're obviously still superadvanced, but it's just.
It's just dumb energy, yeah.
So I tried to apply thatmethodology, whether it's your

(01:19:05):
business, whether it's sales,whether it's even your health.
You don't need to track 500different biomarkers every day.
You could just go to the gymand just get on the treadmill.

You know what?
I have a story of illness in mypast, and after that I put on a
lot of weight.
So I was an Australian championin multiple sports and so I
started the same wayindividualistic sports, sports,
right, and so a champion mindset.
And then when I got sick, thedoor went out the window and
then I used it as an excuse fora long time.
Right, I was in a wheelchairfor two years.

(01:19:34):
I didn't walk for two years,you know, that's why I'm fat.
And then I started trying to bethe expert, because a
background in nursing andmedicine I know I know exactly
how the body works I know what Ineed to do and I would be like
I don't want to just a proteindiet, because then I'm not going
to get minerals.
I don't want to do, you know, avegan diet, because then I'm not

(01:19:55):
going to get protein.
I don't want it like and I justpoked holes in every possible
way to get well so true and thenI just knuckled down and this
is a fairly recent thing, so,beginning beginning of last year
, I just went, I'm just going towalk, I'm just going to keep it
simple and walk, and it's goingto work.
And then, at the beginning ofJune this year, I went okay.

(01:20:19):
Now that I know that I can walkwell and I can do it
consistently, I'm now going toset a target with my walking it
consistently.
I'm now going to set a targetwith my walking.
I went okay, cool, I'm going todo 10,000 steps a day, and it
doesn't matter what day it is,it doesn't matter where it is.
So, like today, I'm up to like6,000 steps.
Now, right, and it's only themorning, because I got up at
five 30 and, even though it wasraining, I got on the roof of my

(01:20:42):
building, which had like arooftop balcony, and I just did
laps right.
In Bali there's dogs.
They're a bit scary at the endof the road when they bark, and
it's still dark.
So I'm just like round andround the top of the building
and it it becomes a meditation.
Since the beginning of June,though, I've lost just under 10
kilos crazy right and I've donenothing like extreme.

(01:21:05):
I well, and I know from being anathlete that the more I
exercise, the better my dietgets without trying.
I just don't crave those oldthings anymore.
And so I'm like, okay, cool,and that's simple, like we're
only at the beginning ofSeptember and it's happened
easily and effortlessly becauseI just decided to do the walk
instead of poking a hole in somekind of diet or like, instead

(01:21:26):
of following an expert.
I said what to do the walkinstead of poking a hole in some
kind of diet or like, insteadof following an expert?
Yeah, I said what do I need todo?

basically, it's input, input versus output.
I just need to do more output.
Yeah, the analogy I always use,like in a business context, is
if you're trying to lose weight,if you just stand on the scales
every single day, you'll loseweight because you're like okay,
well, I'll consciously not eata donut, but I'll unconsciously
just move more and do X.
Y Z maybe change my roomenvironment.
And how I use this for businessis if you look at your Stripe

(01:21:52):
account.
Every day you look at your bankaccount you look at your P&L if
you keep looking at it, it willimprove.
You'll find out.
And it was funny because Ican't go too confidential, but
basically people in our businesswere looking at how to
incentivize them more and I waslooking at the concept of a
profit share, not a revenueshare.
The concept of a profit sharewould mean that the individuals

(01:22:14):
who are responsible for it, theywill look at the expenses and
be like why are we spending$4,000 on GHL, whereas if it was
a revenue share, it's what'sfocal, it's causal big number,
but profit is king.
That it's what's focal iscausal big number.
But you know, profit is more isthe profit is king, so that work
towards getting more revenue,yeah.
So then they're like well, dowe need to have, you know, a
five thousand dollar a monthoffice?
It's like they just startthinking about that that thing.

(01:22:36):
Yeah, that contributes to it,and I just kind of thought of
this, but it's randomly and Ithink it's just kind of
interesting, right, becauseobviously everything starts and
finishes in the mind, so it'sawesome.
It's Tell me about some of themechanisms you guys work with
people.
I think it was quiteinteresting when I found out you
do like speaker training you dolike sales training.

Yeah.

Like how the hell does that fit into NLP?

Well, so if we consider NLP as the language of
success, right?
So people are never successfuljust using one part of their
body as a mind, body and spiritone system creates success.
If NLP focuses on the mind,because of my background in
nursing and medicine, I know howto focus on health.
And then if we then look at thespirit, I actually came through

(01:23:22):
the spirit realm.
So I I started in a you know along time ago doing things like
aromatherapy, astrology, allthose kind of woo-woo things
that I used to do back when Iwas in an abusive marriage to
try and work out how Ienergetically created this Right
.
So I'd learned a lot aboutenergetics and so I came through

(01:23:44):
that and I was like, when Idecided on NLP, I'm like, how do
I make it better?
It's not just like, okay, I'mgoing to do the old fashioned
thing that everyone's doing.
It's like, how do I make itbetter?
So we infuse it with energetics, we infuse it with some
somatics, we get the mind, body,spirit part happening and we
create change.
And now I've completelyforgotten the question you asked
.

How does that feed into teaching people how to
speak and teaching people sales?
Oh, yeah, yeah, right, so we'retalking about the language of
success.

So if you put someone up on a stage like public
speaking is the world's biggestfear.
If you ask people what they'rescared of being put up on a
stage, being put on the spot andhaving to talk in a business
meeting or on a stage, right,it's one of the biggest fears in
the world.
And or on a stage, right, it'sone of the biggest fears in the
world.
And so that comes from fear.
There's a root cause to fear.
That root cause to fear can beovercome with integrated NLP

(01:24:34):
right.
So it made sense for us toteach speaker training.
Not only that, I've spoken onmassive stages all over the
world, and so I have a personallevel of awareness around
speaking.
I love stagecraft andenergetics.
So where you do certain thingson a stage makes a difference to
how the audience responds, andso we teach that.

(01:24:57):
And we used to teach it as astandalone training and then we
combined it with our salestraining as well.
So you come and do speak andsales training it's one training
where you learn to speak well,you learn to sell yourself, you
learn to sell from staging, youlearn to sell from online,
because all of that involvesspeaking, and so we went to
there.
Also, the two other people thatrun that speaker training,

(01:25:19):
katie and Beck, who are in myteam, they are both also
speakers.
So Katie, you know, grew upspeaking in schools.
Beck's actually currently inthe US speaking on some big
stages over there, and so we allhave this passion for
communication, and speaking isjust another form of
communication, just like salesis another form of communication
.

So that's how we ended up there speaking is uh so
interesting because if youthink about going all the way
back, I think about this very.
That's why I brought it up isbecause for me you'll find this
quite interesting but my speechshe actually used to be quite
bad.
And when I moved to London, mymanager very harsh woman, let's

(01:25:57):
put it that way I gave apresentation and she was like
you'll never go fair in yourcareer because of your speech.
She at least said it to me, so Iwas kind of always forceful to
change that.
I've toned down my accent quitea lot.
I bet you probably think it'sstill really bad, but it used to
be a lot worse.

I think Australians are inherently terrible at
accents.
But your accent's actuallybeautiful, though I noticed that
Yourself and Katie have verysoft accents which is quite
unique, Like some Australianssome Irish actors are really bad
, so Katie definitely has taughtherself that.

That's what I mean.
Yeah, the enunciation, and forme.

I just come from a posh English background.

But it's very soft.
But basically, when I was kindof moving into the speaking
world which was interestingbecause I felt I was going to
get there a lot sooner than whatI did, but then when I got
there it was very fast that wasactually quite interesting.
I was kind of going back andreflecting as to why this is so
important.
And if you think about all thebest speeches in the world, the
best leaders, the kingdoms thatwere run, people how they

(01:27:00):
influenced nations.
Everything is communication,everything is communication.

And storytelling.

Storytelling conveying the message.
The most famous speeches thatyou remember to this day were
Churchill, mandela, whoever youknow the name because of the
person.
Even Ali, like Muhammad Ali,was a speaker.

Yes, you know, most people thought he was an athlete
.
He wasn't, he was a speaker youknow, and he was.

He became like a massive ambassador for the black
community and it was just crazybecause it all came back to his
speech, yes, you know.
And then even like modern daypeople, barack Obama right, yeah
, people prefer Obama over Bidenjust because of how he speaks
Yep, it's crazy, right.
So that was a big thing for me,which was I need to go

(01:27:44):
personally all in on speaking,which was a big part of 2025.
Yeah, um, and it's interestingbecause I actually speak better
on stage than I do in podcasts,because in podcasts, I'm kind of
like, kind of chilled out yeahum, but yeah, it's been such a
huge power for me because what Ilearned was it doesn't matter
how smart you are, it doesn'tmatter how talented you are,
unless you can communicate ityeah, if you can't tell anyone

(01:28:05):
what you do, you're never goingto be successful and that's why
it's funny, because when youspeak on stage, you probably
annihilate people who are 10times more successful than you,
and I definitely do like.
I often speak in stages nowwith guys who sold companies for
nine figures yeah but no onegives a shit about them.
Speaking like literally theyactually are.

they have gained their credibility through what
they did and they've notinvested in themselves in
speaking, and so they take tipsfrom other people who have done
what they did, and they'reterrible tips.
They need to take tips fromspeakers, not from people who
are just successful.

And you know Christo .
Yeah.
So Christo I know Christopersonally, we've had a bunch of
podcasts together are justsuccessful.
And you know, you know christo,yeah, so christo, like I know
christo, like personally, we'vehad a bunch of podcasts together
um, he's one of the bestspeakers in the business space,
like you know, the kind of likeonline business space.
Um, and his words, not mine,his business is actually not
that big.
It's quite small now, it'sprobably the same size as ours,
yeah, um, but he is literallyone of the most highly regarded

(01:29:07):
speakers in the entrepreneurshipspace of like this kind of
space.
Why?
Because I know personally heinvested years and hundreds of
thousands of dollars into hisspeech.

Yes.

Into his speech and it's just so interesting to
observe and I think it's a, it'ssomething that everyone puts on
the long finger, and it wasjust this year.
I was like I have to sort thisshit, I just gotta sort it out.

And, yeah, it's been a huge unlock my, my grandfather
instilled this in me and thisis a.
This is a cool story.
So when my grandfather was inthe second world war, he ended
up in england with his unitafter a very, a very gruesome
battle in indonesia, and finallythat we're here, right.
So gruesome battle in Indonesiaended up back in England and was

(01:29:51):
presented in front of the king.
Now, the head of his unit hadactually died in battle and so,
whilst he wasn't the head of theunit, he was acting head of the
unit, and so he created aspeech for the king and stood in
front of the king and deliveredthe king.
And the king walked up to himand said that speech was

(01:30:12):
brilliant, thank you, sir.
And shook his hand.
Now, when a king uses the wordsir, it automatically knights
someone.
Yeah, and so my grandfather wasknighted, even though he wasn't
technically the head of thatunit, and the king had been
planning to knight the head ofthat unit, and the king had been
planning to knight the head ofthat unit who'd done several
different battles.
My grandfather was onlyinvolved in one and he became

(01:30:33):
knighted.
And from that day, mygrandfather recognized the value
of speech, and ever since I wasa little girl, he used to get
us to read books out loud.
That was where it started.
It was reading out loud at night, not reading in your head.
You had to read out loud untilyou turned 12.
Once you turned 12, then youcould read in your head Um and

(01:30:53):
having goosebumps yeah, havingthat confidence to read out loud
to people stood me in reallygood stead when I became a
speaker.
Um, it also made me do thingslike I was in the debating team.
I was in the mock trial teambecause I loved speaking,
because he instilled this loveof speaking in me and it's all
mindset right like yeah, likeI've never, not never, but now

(01:31:18):
in particular I don't fearspeaking because I changed my
mindset around that.

It's like a privileged position to be in.

Absolutely, like even doing this podcast, how many
hundreds of thousands, evenmillions of people are going to
hear this?
And there'll be one sentencethat will change each of their
lives, like there'll be, youknow, for some people that will
listen to the whole thing andit'll be like, oh, my goodness,
give me all of that.
I'm going to slowly implementall of it.
And for other people, it's justgoing to be one sentence that

(01:31:46):
we said, and it's probably noteven the most impactful sentence
we've said, and it will changetheir life.
That's a huge responsibilityand a huge honor to be able to
communicate at that level.

And that's why I recommend even for you to be
putting out so much contentbecause, especially for men, you
know it's different, for, likethe women's circle that you run,
women are.
You know it's different, for,like the women's circle that you
run women are much moreexpressive.
Yeah, but um, the amount of guysthat will message me like, so,
let's say, someone would listen.
In 2020, three years later,they'll message me saying, hey,
man, like I started that agencybecause I heard something with
this.
Now I'm now I've left my job.

(01:32:18):
It's been two years of ajourney.
I went on this journey and nowI'm out to other end just want
to say thanks, and I don't getthose often, but when I I meet
people, it always happens or,like you know, it's not me, it's
usually the guests.
If I go to the gym five days aweek, someone will stop me and
just say hey, I listened to thispodcast and it was a huge
unlock.
They probably listened for theguests, right, but the questions

(01:32:38):
were good or whatever, and Iwill never see those messages
surface or someone recording avideo about it.

They will implement something yeah, do with it, and
it's kind of like we have thissaying called wwld what would
liz do?
and it's you know when peoplehave consumed enough of my
content by coming in one of ourtraining rooms or whatever,
wherever it is.
Listen to the speeches I makeand the podcasts that I do.
When, when people have consumedenough, you get inside their

(01:33:05):
brain.
Right, and it'd be the samewith you.
It'd be a wwd.
What would darren do?
And it's like they.
Then they start utilizing it astheir, their litmus test, right
, it's like, okay, cool, I knowthis person's good at that.
What would they do?
I know I've consumed enough oftheir speaking to know what they
would do, because I mean thisis an intimate like we're

(01:33:25):
intimate here, having thisconversation like it's an
intimate conversation.
The fact that it's going out tohundreds of thousands of people
doesn't change the intimacy ofthe conversation, and so they
hear it on the same frequencyand that's why the setting is
super important the environment.

So there's a reason why we're not at a table yes,
because the energy flows and weused to have these at an angle,
but I got rid of it, so it'sstraight on.
So the attention isstraightforward.
And why I'm always recording isbecause I have no phone.
It's been a long time as it isand we're just straight.
It's more relaxed.

Darren (01:33:57):
We're also in my house not a studio, which is much
nicer.

Yeah, it's so much calmer.
We were meant to start atstarted at half nine, we started
at like 11.
Like it's just there'sdifferent ways to to create like
a subconscious effect with theenvironment, exactly that has a
better output.
For you to have better content,yeah, for you to have a better
setup and we're finishing thisnote but how all this has kind
of manifested in for me was thatevent that's coming up next

(01:34:21):
week yes like, which is huge.
Most people would have madeanywhere between 15 to 50
million.
That's on the headline.
Yes, and I'm on the headline.
Yes, and I was also the secondspeaker.

Which is so great.

So I'm nowhere near there yet.
But again, sometimes it's notabout the outcome.
Do you get me?
They've seen some of the eventsand so on and I'm not like
blowing up my own trumpet.

You should blow your own trumpet.
You know, if you don't blowyour own trumpet, no one else
will.
And the thing is, is that, likeyou are speaking with people
who are like other people areenvious of that.
Like part of my team isthinking about coming back to
that event to hear you, right,they're like it's cool that
there's these other people wewant to hear him and it's just.

It's just the fact that it doesn't always need to
be like the big kind of outcomes, right, it's just like, um, I
think, like for anyone who'slike young, they can, and that's
why I say over index on thingsand kind of people, please, on
things that have a positiveeffect absolutely because one
thing that I've really tried tofocus on, especially with this
domain or every domain is beingsuper overly prepared.
So before you came, I spoke to apublic public speaking coach

(01:35:34):
and I was like let's just have acall 15, 20 minutes every day,
just because I don't want tolose my focus for the next 10
days, or like seven days?
Um, because there's a guy who'sactually a football player,
from where the town that I'mfrom in Ireland.
You know Roy Keane.
I do not.
Roy Keane is like a very famousfootball player Right, he was
very successful football player,but he's from my hometown.

Is that soccer?
Yeah, okay.

And, uh, like his whole saying is like fail to
prepare, prepare to fail.
Sure, you know, and it's funnybecause that saying is really
well known, but it's actuallyfrom a guy that's from Cork, in
Ireland Would you believe he'sin his 60s now or some shit, and
that seems so like you know,just kind of high level, but

(01:36:16):
it's been the embodiment of you,right.
That's how you have got to thispoint and that's why I was like
how did you go so deep on NLP?
Because there's just somethingthere that's not in all the
other shit.

I think that's the biggest thing.
It's that I truly believe.
It's the language that hasallowed me to express everything
else I've ever learned in mylife, and so when someone comes
and does integrated NLP with me,they're not just getting NLP.

Yes, that's why I speak all the other shit.

Yeah, and there's so much more than that, right, and
and it's one of the reasons wesometimes struggle to articulate
what we do, because it dependson the people in the room.
Like there is not.
It's not a training where weproduce this training and then
the next time we do it and thenext time we do it and the next
time we do it.
It's different every singletime, and we basically do a lot
of um questioning of ouraudience, like you know, asking

(01:37:08):
them what they want, wherethey're at, finding out what's
going on for them in their life,and then we change the training
accordingly the basicprinciples are the same.
However, the delivery iscompletely different every time
makes sense.
Yeah well, let's want to say amassive thank you you've been
I'm so happy you came into myworld, genuinely I want to say
I'm so happy that I followed thethread when I found out about
you.

But likewise, you know.
So I want to say like genuinely, like I really, really
appreciate everything and I feellike we just have like a long
career together, beyond whateverworking together as well.

I totally believe that this is, that this is the
beginning of somethingincredible, yeah.

And what I really like is like professional, but
then it's also personal andthat's why I was like I had no
matter how tired I was at theweekend.
I was like, just come to myhouse on tuesday and we'll
figure something out and we'lljust chill before you obviously
head home you know, yeah, sogreat.

Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.

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#305 Elizabeth Walker - How to Master Your Mindset like a 7-Figure Entrepreneur

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#305 Elizabeth Walker - How to Master Your Mindset like a 7-Figure Entrepreneur