As we peel back the layers of an extraordinary life, we invite you to meet Dr. Gloria Mayfield Banks, a success strategist who defied the odds. Gloria's story is not just one of triumph but a beacon for anyone wrestling with their own silent battles. From the resilience forged in Detroit to the esteemed halls of Howard and Harvard, join us as we traverse the rugged terrain of her life, crossing paths with dyslexia, domestic violence, and the pinnacle of entrepreneurial spirit with Mary Kay Cosmetics. It's a tale that will ignite a spark within, reminding us all that the fiercest warriors are often clad in grace and determination.
Brace yourself for a masterclass in the art of selling and the intricate waltz of maintaining passion in both love and livelihood. Gloria's wisdom cuts through the cacophony of business jargon – selling is more than a transaction; it's a cornerstone of life. We dissect the symbiotic relationship between one’s personal network and their success trajectory, and how a blend of competition and courage can catalyze a meteoric rise. Whether you’re an entrepreneur at heart or someone looking to refine your persuasive edge, Gloria’s insights are the golden keys to unlocking your potential.
As we bid adieu to Gloria, our conversation pivots to the profound influence of selecting a life partner, sprinkled with the timeless wisdom found within the pages of Dale Carnegie's classic. We ponder the impact of decisions made and the wisdom they bestow, inviting future guests to share their hindsight revelations. Though our time with Gloria concludes, the journey does not end here – our stories, lessons, and connections ripple on. We urge you to carry these insights forward and join us again as we continue to uncover the narratives that shape our lives and professions.
Watch the video episode of this on YouTube - https://linktr.ee/konnectedminds
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The number one problem with domestic violence
is silence.
The strength of a man is notdetermined by how strong he acts
.
The strength of a man isdetermined by how strong he is.
I tell people, when you'refocused on what you're doing
next, you don't have time forwhat you just went through.
I tell people that you becomelike the people you hang around.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
So if you hang around women who hang around powerful
men and you're a powerful womanyou'll be better supported by
women who understand yourventure.
Iron sharpens iron.
So my best makes you better,that's true, and your best makes
me better If you keepredefining yourself.
It takes courage to go down alane you've never gone down
(00:47):
before.
You have to keep going Like youreally don't have time to bask
in the negativity.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Hey, you're welcome once again to Connected Minds
Podcast.
We're happy you've joined usagain this week and, to those of
you that have not subscribed,shared any of our content, left
a comment alike or even adislike, please do and let us
know how you feel about ourcontent.
This week I'm sitting with DrGloria Milford Banks, and she is
(01:31):
a success strategist, anentrepreneur, a sales specialist
, and she has rose into thehighest position in Merike.
I am sitting here today becauseI want to learn from the sales
skills that she's acquired overthe years through her work and
being one of the top threeposition holders for the highest
(01:52):
sales in Merike.
I think that is brilliant.
Look, stay around, stick aroundwith us and enjoy the
conversation For me.
I wanted to understand veryquickly about your background.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Okay, yes, Okay, well , I'm from a very fabulous
family.
I grew up middle class and myparents were.
I'm the third of four girls andthey were very instrumental in
our self-esteem and oureducation and they were very
politically involved with changeand the city.
(02:25):
I grew up in a city calledDetroit.
It's a very, very, very bigcity.
And a very powerful city at thetime for African Americans, so
it was open up to a lot ofoptions.
I grew up at a time where I waspart of integration for the
high school which was a big dealthere.
But I was a leader at thatpoint.
(02:45):
I knew it because in highschool I took on leadership
positions, mostly in sports likecheerleading, things like that.
But that's where it started.
But my challenge was I grew updyslexic.
So when I was in the seventhgrade they found that I had a
reading disorder.
That's a whole nother topic,because both my parents were
(03:07):
teachers and they missed itbecause it wasn't something that
was talked about.
It's not still something that'sembraced.
A lot of people are stillembarrassed about it.
But anyway, I grew up dyslexicbut I worked really hard and got
out of high school, went tocollege at Howard University in
Washington DC, which is ahistorical black college, which
is a very, very, very strongcollege in the US, and so I left
(03:27):
there and I took a job withPolaroid Corporation.
I moved to Boston, then I wentto Harvard Business School and I
got my MBA From there and thenI sold computers for IBM.
I went to Harvard specificallyto get into the C-Suite.
I wanted to be a womanexecutive in the corporation and
(03:49):
I wanted to break through whatthey call the glass ceiling,
until I found out it was reallybrick, it wasn't going anywhere,
but I worked really hard.
Anyway, during that whole time Ialso became a victim of
domestic violence, and it was achallenging time because I was
from a strong family, had notdealt with divorce, hadn't dealt
with domestic violence.
He was from a strong family, sothis came out of nowhere.
(04:12):
I don't know where this camefrom, so I was so unfamiliar
with it.
I stayed in that environmentfor 10 years.
So I tell people all the timeyou're looking at a very smart,
intelligent, powerful, educatedblack woman who stayed in
(04:33):
domestic violence for 10 years.
My very first day at HarvardBusiness School I started with a
black eye Right.
So it was the first time I puton makeup, was to cover it up,
so I hid embarrassment.
I will tell you this the numberone problem with domestic
violence is silence.
No one's talking about it.
So that was my journey.
In spite of all that, I stillsucceeded.
(04:55):
I tell people the sameoptimistic attitude that I have
now.
That helped me becomesuccessful in life was a
detriment to my domesticviolence situation, because I
kept saying it'll get better,it'll get better, it'll get
better, but it didn't.
So eventually I became a singleparent.
I was single parent for sevenyears At the same time.
In between all that that wasgoing on, I started
(05:17):
entrepreneurship.
Never thought aboutentrepreneurship, never dreamed
about being an entrepreneur,never had any family members
that were entrepreneurs None ofthat at all.
Four of us myself and my threesisters are all very successful
entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So I started a business called Mary K Cosmetics
, which is network marketing.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
And what's exciting about that and challenging about
that was that so many peoplequestion they didn't know about
network marketing.
They didn't understand thepower of network marketing.
So if people don't understandwhat you do, they question it
negatively and you go at it thatway.
So, anyway, I started that andbecame very successful.
There Roles to the position ofnumber one out of 3.5 million
(06:05):
women.
It's in over 40 countries.
I grew my internationalbusiness into eight of those
countries, so that was reallystrong.
In the meanwhile I remarried toKen Banks, who's a very
successful entrepreneur in itsown right, and we blend our
family.
We have four children, we havefive grandchildren and it's just
been on and popping.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
So now it's been amazing.
I agree with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's beenamazing.
I check your Instagram and Iget it later.
You know, when I look at someof the videos, you know you
speak with so much light.
Thank you, Thank you, but oneof the first questions I wanted
to ask was dyslexia yes.
Victim of domestic violence.
(06:48):
Being a single mom yes.
How did you beat the odds tostill become a very successful
salesperson in?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
America.
Yes, you know it's sointeresting because I didn't see
it that way that other peoplesee it.
My whole perception was youhave to keep going Like you
really don't have time to baskin the negativity.
You really don't have time forsomeone to honor your poor
(07:19):
emotional management skills.
I didn't have time for it andso I talk a lot about emotional
management because I would bedriving to an appointment to
sell product, crying in my car,wiping my tears.
Walk into the house with totalhigh energy, total big smile on
my face, do a great presentation, get back in my car, start
(07:44):
crying again, driving home towhat I knew was going to be a
big argument when I walked inthe house.
But I needed to go and fightfor my rights, fight for my
income and fight for success.
I tell people, when you'refocused on what you're doing
next, you don't have time forwhat you just went through.
(08:04):
You don't have time for it,because when you think about
what you've just gone through,it's dark, it's painful and you
can't do anything about it.
That's the thing.
But I can always do what's infront of me, so I look to find
the joy in front of me.
Now.
You hear a lot of wisdom nowbecause I went through it.
(08:25):
But in the moment I just keptsaying what are you going to do
about the situation?
When I was in the basement withthe door locked and a baby on
my hip and I was pregnant and Ihad a knife, thinking I was
going to protect myself, myquestion to myself was what are
(08:46):
you going to do?
What are you going to do?
Because you either stop or yougo.
It's really the only choices.
You have to stop or go.
And I had to go and it wasn'teasy.
It was not easy.
And when it was time to get adivorce, because I was so
intimidated by my ex-husband, Iwalked into the lawyer and I
said I'm intimidated.
Truth you know how they saytruth will set you free.
(09:08):
And God was my partner and Isaid I'm intimidated by him, I
can't talk to him, I can'thandle this.
I tell people the strongerpeople will tell you what they
can't handle, not all day longabout what they can do, but what
can't they do so that they canenroll other people to support
them.
So I said what?
(09:29):
This is what I can't do.
He said I can handle that.
I said, ok, if you can handlethat I pay you.
I can get money.
I am good at getting money, butI am not good at dealing with a
man who intimidates me.
I can't get in for it.
I found now after beingsuccessfully married to Ken for
25 years 28 years we've beenmarried, but it's been.
(09:49):
The strength of a man is notdetermined by how strong he acts
.
The strength of a man isdetermined by how strong he is.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
I asked Ken that most of the time when you have a
strong business entrepreneur manand they are in a relationship
with another woman who is verysuccessful too, most men feel
intimidated by that.
How did he navigate that?
(10:26):
He said he never looked at itlike that.
How did you feel in thatrelationship?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Number one.
It's been a journey for usbecause we didn't know what it
was going to be like, and a lotof that was because a lot of
people kept asking us what's itlike?
What's it like?
What's it like?
So when we met, when no oneelse was in our circle, and we
dated for a year without anybodyknowing what was going on,
(10:53):
because we were a long distancerelationship, both of us were
very busy entrepreneurs.
We didn't need other people inour business.
The thing that attracted us toeach other was our ambition.
I was attracted to his highlevel of ambition.
He was attracted to my highlevel of ambition.
You don't get an ambitiouswoman who is happy sitting on
(11:15):
the sidelines.
So I don't think he was lookingfor a woman that was sitting on
the sidelines to begin with.
We didn't navigate it, becausewhen you have two ambitious
people, sometimes one has to sitdown in order to make the other
person happy.
I need you to be here with me.
I need you to be here with me.
So I think that when we talkabout our relationship, the
(11:37):
baseline of our relationship isbased in respect.
I might disagree with you.
I don't want you to say no atthis time, but you have to say
no, but it's the way you say noand the explanation of the no
that manages it.
I think at the baseline hewanted me to be happy and to be
(11:58):
happy.
I have to be fulfilled in mycareer and I wanted him to be
happy.
So I think that we looked at itmore like that.
I will tell you there have beenchallenges because two very
ambitious people have crazyschedules, have crazy demands.
I remember going to dinner onceand I was going for a really
(12:21):
big goal.
I had two cell phones going atthe same time.
I mean it was just like nutsand he wanted to go to dinner.
He said if you touch that phone, I'm going to break your arm.
And he was kidding because he'snot that way, but he was
serious.
Like Gloria, I need you to payattention.
So I got the message.
I think when you fight for yourtime, you're going to be met
(12:47):
with resistance, but if youlearn to flow with what's in
front of you, it's called a flow.
It's like he loves me and Ilove him.
He makes me happy, I make himhappy.
So the resistance that we see alot of couples deal with, they
forget that piece of it and thatforgetting that piece causes so
(13:13):
much distrust because you lostthe respect.
And girlfriends ask me thegirlfriends who are close to me
like, how do you guys do that?
But I will tell you.
I have some girlfriends whohave very powerful husbands and
they're very powerful women andwe hang together and I tell
(13:35):
people that you become like thepeople you hang around.
And I have a really good friend.
Her name is Chris Seton.
She says show me your friends,I'll show you your future Right?
So if you hang around women whohang around powerful men and
you're a powerful woman, you'llbe better supported by women who
understand your venture.
(13:56):
Some of us cook, some of usdon't.
Some of us sew, some of usdon't.
Some of us shop, some of usdon't.
Some of us like to spend money,some of us like to make money.
It's just.
But I think women who want tobe powerful and be with a
powerful man have to understandit's OK to give and take,
because if you give so much ofyourself without expecting
(14:24):
someone to give up themselves,you've lost respect for yourself
.
So therefore, you can't expectanybody to respect you.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
It happens, you know.
When you first started directsales, you said that you just
wanted to make $200 a week.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Right, that's what you wanted Small, just a little
money.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
You were being very reserved.
But what changed?
What changed?
Because years down the line youget to number one.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
And boldly get to number one.
So the reason I say that isbecause I always tell people I
love competition and people willsometimes make it look bad or
dirty, and the reason I don'tthink it's bad or dirty is
because it's in the Bible.
The way I read it is ironsharpens iron.
So my best makes you better,that's true, and your best makes
(15:23):
me better.
When I started with a smalldream of $200 extra week, I
didn't anticipateentrepreneurship or selling
skincare makeup was going to bemy journey.
I just want to make some extramoney because of the divorce.
You know that.
Saying that everything happensfor a reason, yes, I had no idea
(15:45):
that my dark, tumultuous, veryhard existence at that period of
my life was gonna pave the wayfor me to understand so many
other women's journeys and Aboutrelationships.
So when I started, whathappened for me is that I just
took the next success and I tookthe next success and then I
(16:11):
tell people I started my directselling business to earn extra
income.
I fell in love with it becauseof the recognition, because they
appreciated things, and I wascoming from an empty place in my
soul and Then I grew because ofthe competition when I saw
someone else do it, I wanted todo it too.
When I saw someone else do it,I wanted to have it too.
(16:33):
When I saw someone else winningdiamonds, I wanted to win it
too.
When I saw people winning trips, I wanted to win it too.
So there was a challenge, andif you like challenge and you
like to push yourself, that waswho I was, and I believe that my
confidence grew tremendouslybecause I was challenged.
And To take on a challenge ittakes courage.
(16:55):
Sorry, tell everybody.
It takes courage to build yourconfidence.
And when your confidence comes,your choices are big.
Derek.
Your choices are so big nowbecause you've had a lot of
courage to do different things.
You don't just stay in one path.
You keep redefining yourself.
If you keep redefining yourself, it takes courage to go down a
(17:16):
lane You've never gone downbefore, but you know that when
you go down that lane, that joyis so huge because the
experience is so new.
It's only people who get stuckand Doing the same thing over
and over and over again thatthey get deterred, they get sad,
(17:40):
the joy drops off.
There's no excitement.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah no, you, you have a book.
Yes, and before I even come tothat, quantum leaps, quantum
leaps.
Yes, before I even come to that, I wanted to ask you know, I
think every entrepreneur needsto learn how to sell yes, every
(18:05):
entrepreneur does, it is, it'spart of the not right?
Yes, it's, it's.
That's what the game is.
Right Now, it doesn't matterwhether it's direct sales or
online marketing what about itis?
Or selling themselves, sellingthe dream?
Yeah, now what are some of theadvice and the how-to for people
who want to follow and learn?
(18:26):
You know what would you saylike what's your top tips?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Okay, in sales top tips and sales number one know
that it's imperative, just know,just make up your mind and say
Selling is imperative.
It's critical to my success ofanything.
You guys, if you listen tospeakers, if you go to church,
if you go to school, teachersare selling students on the
power of learning.
Ministers are selling you onthe power of spiritual growth.
(18:53):
Education is nothing more thana form of sales.
Sales is nothing more than aform of education.
I'm gonna inform you as to whyit's worth it to you to exchange
your money for what I'm sellingyou.
If it's not worth it, youshouldn't spend it.
So for some reason, people willthink that selling is a form of
(19:16):
negative persuasion, and I'vealways thought of it as I'm
persuading you to do somethingyou've always wanted to do, but
you were just too afraid to doit, and so that would be a big
tip.
A big tip to me in sales isthat you have to know that
people love to buy.
They don't necessarily want tobe sold to.
They love to buy.
So they love to spend theirmoney.
(19:37):
They work for their money.
They work for the money tospend their money.
So all they want to do is spendit where it matters to them
most.
Your job is to find out whatmatters to them right now, and
if they say no, it's okay.
It just doesn't matter to themright now doesn't mean that
won't matter to them in sixmonths or six years or six days,
but doesn't matter to themright now.
(19:58):
But your job is to ask.
Your job is not to find outwhat's going on in their head.
Your job is to ask them so thatthey can tell you what's going
on in their head, and then yourjob is to solve their problem.
Someone in sales solves aperson's problem.
If I'm buying, if I'm sellingshoes, I'm solving your problem
because you want to pair shoes,either because you need them,
(20:20):
because you want to wear them,because it makes you feel better
, because it makes you lookbetter.
I don't know the reason.
It's not for me to judge.
That's another thing.
People that lose in sales isbecause they spend too much time
judging themselves or judgingthe person.
Don't judge yourself, don'tjudge the person.
The bottom line in sales is ask.
I think I became Extraordinarilysuccessful because I believe
(20:45):
that a lot of people want what Iwant, what I have.
A lot of people believe wantedwhat I have and a lot of people
Want to be successful and Ibelieve that women are a force.
I believe they are tremendousforce.
It is impossible for you toconvince me that you can't do
something.
It's easy for you to convinceme that you don't want to.
(21:07):
I Don't believe everybody wantsto do the same thing, but I'm.
It's very hard to believe toconvince me that you can't like.
I am not good with blood.
My mother was a nurse.
I am absolutely not good withblood like but if I have to be
good with blood yeah, if I finda way, I find a way.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Do you think, though, that sometimes, on the path to
success yeah, you can.
You can be so go-driven thatyou know you go so fine and you
leave certain things behind,like some of what you just
described.
Yes, it feels like We've workedso hard to get to a certain
level right, but then we misscertain things.
(21:49):
Yes, I know, and they're stillat the bottom that you are
feeling like, oh, we need to goback and pick them up with us.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Right.
I think that's why family is soimportant, because family will
wake you up when you're busy onthe phone going to your next
appointment, da, da, da.
And then your child says mommy,oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
You wake up.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You do miss some things I can honestly tell you.
We look at people and we knowtheir lives are not perfect, and
I can honestly say our life'snot perfect.
There were some majorchallenges that came along the
way.
But what I also tell people isthe challenges that you have are
dealt with differently becauseof finances.
(22:37):
I am on a path that I can'texplain about helping people and
mostly women, because that'swho I talk to mostly understand
the importance of financialstability, the importance of
(22:57):
picking themselves up andincreasing their income Period.
You have to increase your incomein order to have different
choices.
Your income is not for thematerial thing, but your income
is going to dictate the type offood you eat.
It is going to dictate the typeof security you live under.
(23:19):
It is going to dictate the typeof protection that you give to
your family.
It is going to dictate thefuture of your parents and what
happens to them later in life.
It is going to dictate some ofthe joy you do or do not get to
give to others and that you getto experience for yourself.
And so it's not about thematerial things that we see on
(23:43):
TV or that you read about in themagazine.
It is about your life choices,and until we understand how
important those life choices are, it will support your ability
for stronger emotionalmanagement, because you
understand that your bounce backability is going to determine
(24:07):
your ability to increase yourincome.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I've got three questions and you've got one
question, so the three questionsare from us, and then your
question is for the next guest.
Ok, so please think about thatquestion Now.
Our first question ismotivation or discipline in the
journey of personal development.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Ok, I would pick motivation, because I believe
the motivation creates thediscipline.
I think I don't care how faraway you are from, wherever it
is you want to go.
If you are motivated to get tothe next leg, you will get up
(24:57):
and do it.
I don't think you will getthere without discipline.
You will not get there withoutdiscipline.
But what is going to wake youup when you don't want to wake
up is the motivation.
What's going to make you workout when you don't want to work
out is the motivation.
What's going to make you studywhen you don't want to study is
(25:21):
because you're motivated to getan A, or you're motivated to
succeed for your parents, oryou're motivated to show people
that you have your work.
I know that people saymotivation doesn't last, so you
have to reignite it all the time.
But neither do showers last.
You have to do them all thetime.
So if I had to pick, I believemotivation comes before
(25:44):
discipline and success doesn'thappen unless you have
discipline.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Right, that's fantastic.
Our next question is what's thebest advice you've ever got?
The best advice?
You can't pick two, you can'tpick one and a half.
It's going to be one.
The best yes Advice.
Yes, we want to have that too.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
The best if Wow, that's such a hard question the
best advice I've ever received?
Well, I received.
What comes to me right now isthe person you choose as your
life partner.
The person you choose as yourlife partner will affect your
(26:31):
faith, will affect your family,will affect your finances, will
affect your fitness, will affectyour joy, will affect your
outlook, will affect yourspirituality, will affect your
path.
I didn't realize that when Iwas younger, but someone said
(26:58):
the most important decision youmake in life is your life
partner.
Well, and after being with Kenfor 30 years, I know what it's
like to pick a bad life partner.
I don't know what it's like topick a good life partner.
So in this moment, I would sayyou're a life partner, yeah, and
(27:23):
sometimes that life partner isyou, and sometimes that life
partner is someone else.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
That's amazing.
That's amazing.
That put a big smile on my face.
Yeah, but you picked a goodpartner.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Yes, that put a big smile on my face, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Whoa, Now what's your favorite personal development
book?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale
Carnegie how to Win Friends andInfluence People.
I just think people need tounderstand that there is a path
to making other people feel goodin your space.
My job is to make you feel goodin my space so that you want to
(28:09):
be in my space more often andso that I like my space myself,
I think.
Obviously I'm coming from abackground of sales, but I don't
care what your background is.
Tell me a profession thatdoesn't include making other
people better.
So how do we win friends andinfluence others?
(28:34):
By Dale Carnegie?
I tell people that's the book Iwould advise them, you know.
I think that without a doubt,the Bible is such a huge pathway
of instructions.
I mean, that goes withoutsaying.
But that would be my choice.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
It's a great choice.
Yeah, great choice.
I definitely recommend thatpeople should get that book and
then start reading.
Yeah, and if you want to be achampion in sales as well, then
you should get quantum leaps.
Thank, you.
Yeah, definitely yeahabsolutely Definitely.
Now our question for the nextguest.
What should that question be?
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I believe wisdom is a cornerstone to people' ability
to thrive.
So I would ask the next guestif you were to rewind 20 years,
(29:41):
what would you do, given thewisdom you have today?
Hmm, that's a very goodquestion.
I wonder where their path wouldhave changed.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
That's a very good question and you got me thinking
20 years ago.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, you know yeah, even at your young age.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Yeah, yeah, well, thank you so much.
I've enjoyed this.
Thank you so much, very much.
I've probably enjoyed it morethan you have.
No, I don't think so.
It's a bank of knowledge,wisdom.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
This is just another incredible experience here in
Ghana, and I want to share thisone thought with people all over
the world that don't miss outon the gifts that are here
because it hasn't beenadvertised to you, because it
(30:38):
hasn't been marketed to you.
You have to come and see whythis is such an incredible place
.
You have to see it, touch itand experience it for yourself.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Yes, definitely, definitely, which is why I came
back to Ghana four years agowith my family.
Yeah, I loved it from the day Iwas leaving.
I missed it, yes, you know, andI said look, I'm going to go
get the qualifications, do thebest that I can wherever I go,
yes, but I want to come back andgive my talents and my skills
to my people, because it's aland that made me Wow.
(31:15):
Yeah, so thank you so much,gloria.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
I appreciate it so much.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Derek, yeah, I hope our paths cross again.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Oh, they will.
They will, they're meant to.
This is obviously a symbol thatMorris yet to come.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Congratulations to you, Thank you.
Thank you Appreciate your timeand guys stay connected, Share
this telephone telephone.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
The number one problem with domestic violence
is silence.
The strength of a man is notdetermined by how strong he acts
.
The strength of a man isdetermined by how strong he is.
I tell people, when you'refocused on what you're doing
next, you don't have time forwhat you just went through.
I tell people that you becomelike the people you hang around.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
So if you hang around women who hang around powerful
men and you're a powerful womanyou'll be better supported by
women who understand yourventure.
Iron sharpens iron.
So my best makes you better,that's true, and your best makes
me better If you keepredefining yourself.
It takes courage to go down alane you've never gone down
(00:47):
before.
You have to keep going Like youreally don't have time to bask
in the negativity.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Hey, you're welcome once again to Connected Minds
Podcast.
We're happy you've joined usagain this week and, to those of
you that have not subscribed,shared any of our content, left
a comment alike or even adislike, please do and let us
know how you feel about ourcontent.
This week I'm sitting with DrGloria Milford Banks, and she is
(01:31):
a success strategist, anentrepreneur, a sales specialist
, and she has rose into thehighest position in Merike.
I am sitting here today becauseI want to learn from the sales
skills that she's acquired overthe years through her work and
being one of the top threeposition holders for the highest
(01:52):
sales in Merike.
I think that is brilliant.
Look, stay around, stick aroundwith us and enjoy the
conversation For me.
I wanted to understand veryquickly about your background.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Okay, yes, Okay, well , I'm from a very fabulous
family.
I grew up middle class and myparents were.
I'm the third of four girls andthey were very instrumental in
our self-esteem and oureducation and they were very
politically involved with changeand the city.
(02:25):
I grew up in a city calledDetroit.
It's a very, very, very bigcity.
And a very powerful city at thetime for African Americans, so
it was open up to a lot ofoptions.
I grew up at a time where I waspart of integration for the
high school which was a big dealthere.
But I was a leader at thatpoint.
(02:45):
I knew it because in highschool I took on leadership
positions, mostly in sports likecheerleading, things like that.
But that's where it started.
But my challenge was I grew updyslexic.
So when I was in the seventhgrade they found that I had a
reading disorder.
That's a whole nother topic,because both my parents were
(03:07):
teachers and they missed itbecause it wasn't something that
was talked about.
It's not still something that'sembraced.
A lot of people are stillembarrassed about it.
But anyway, I grew up dyslexicbut I worked really hard and got
out of high school, went tocollege at Howard University in
Washington DC, which is ahistorical black college, which
is a very, very, very strongcollege in the US, and so I left
(03:27):
there and I took a job withPolaroid Corporation.
I moved to Boston, then I wentto Harvard Business School and I
got my MBA From there and thenI sold computers for IBM.
I went to Harvard specificallyto get into the C-Suite.
I wanted to be a womanexecutive in the corporation and
(03:49):
I wanted to break through whatthey call the glass ceiling,
until I found out it was reallybrick, it wasn't going anywhere,
but I worked really hard.
Anyway, during that whole time Ialso became a victim of
domestic violence, and it was achallenging time because I was
from a strong family, had notdealt with divorce, hadn't dealt
with domestic violence.
He was from a strong family, sothis came out of nowhere.
(04:12):
I don't know where this camefrom, so I was so unfamiliar
with it.
I stayed in that environmentfor 10 years.
So I tell people all the timeyou're looking at a very smart,
intelligent, powerful, educatedblack woman who stayed in
(04:33):
domestic violence for 10 years.
My very first day at HarvardBusiness School I started with a
black eye Right.
So it was the first time I puton makeup, was to cover it up,
so I hid embarrassment.
I will tell you this the numberone problem with domestic
violence is silence.
No one's talking about it.
So that was my journey.
In spite of all that, I stillsucceeded.
(04:55):
I tell people the sameoptimistic attitude that I have
now.
That helped me becomesuccessful in life was a
detriment to my domesticviolence situation, because I
kept saying it'll get better,it'll get better, it'll get
better, but it didn't.
So eventually I became a singleparent.
I was single parent for sevenyears At the same time.
In between all that that wasgoing on, I started
(05:17):
entrepreneurship.
Never thought aboutentrepreneurship, never dreamed
about being an entrepreneur,never had any family members
that were entrepreneurs None ofthat at all.
Four of us myself and my threesisters are all very successful
entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So I started a business called Mary K Cosmetics
, which is network marketing.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
And what's exciting about that and challenging about
that was that so many peoplequestion they didn't know about
network marketing.
They didn't understand thepower of network marketing.
So if people don't understandwhat you do, they question it
negatively and you go at it thatway.
So, anyway, I started that andbecame very successful.
There Roles to the position ofnumber one out of 3.5 million
(06:05):
women.
It's in over 40 countries.
I grew my internationalbusiness into eight of those
countries, so that was reallystrong.
In the meanwhile I remarried toKen Banks, who's a very
successful entrepreneur in itsown right, and we blend our
family.
We have four children, we havefive grandchildren and it's just
been on and popping.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
So now it's been amazing.
I agree with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's beenamazing.
I check your Instagram and Iget it later.
You know, when I look at someof the videos, you know you
speak with so much light.
Thank you, Thank you, but oneof the first questions I wanted
to ask was dyslexia yes.
Victim of domestic violence.
(06:48):
Being a single mom yes.
How did you beat the odds tostill become a very successful
salesperson in?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
America.
Yes, you know it's sointeresting because I didn't see
it that way that other peoplesee it.
My whole perception was youhave to keep going Like you
really don't have time to baskin the negativity.
You really don't have time forsomeone to honor your poor
(07:19):
emotional management skills.
I didn't have time for it andso I talk a lot about emotional
management because I would bedriving to an appointment to
sell product, crying in my car,wiping my tears.
Walk into the house with totalhigh energy, total big smile on
my face, do a great presentation, get back in my car, start
(07:44):
crying again, driving home towhat I knew was going to be a
big argument when I walked inthe house.
But I needed to go and fightfor my rights, fight for my
income and fight for success.
I tell people, when you'refocused on what you're doing
next, you don't have time forwhat you just went through.
(08:04):
You don't have time for it,because when you think about
what you've just gone through,it's dark, it's painful and you
can't do anything about it.
That's the thing.
But I can always do what's infront of me, so I look to find
the joy in front of me.
Now.
You hear a lot of wisdom nowbecause I went through it.
(08:25):
But in the moment I just keptsaying what are you going to do
about the situation?
When I was in the basement withthe door locked and a baby on
my hip and I was pregnant and Ihad a knife, thinking I was
going to protect myself, myquestion to myself was what are
(08:46):
you going to do?
What are you going to do?
Because you either stop or yougo.
It's really the only choices.
You have to stop or go.
And I had to go and it wasn'teasy.
It was not easy.
And when it was time to get adivorce, because I was so
intimidated by my ex-husband, Iwalked into the lawyer and I
said I'm intimidated.
Truth you know how they saytruth will set you free.
(09:08):
And God was my partner and Isaid I'm intimidated by him, I
can't talk to him, I can'thandle this.
I tell people the strongerpeople will tell you what they
can't handle, not all day longabout what they can do, but what
can't they do so that they canenroll other people to support
them.
So I said what?
(09:29):
This is what I can't do.
He said I can handle that.
I said, ok, if you can handlethat I pay you.
I can get money.
I am good at getting money, butI am not good at dealing with a
man who intimidates me.
I can't get in for it.
I found now after beingsuccessfully married to Ken for
25 years 28 years we've beenmarried, but it's been.
(09:49):
The strength of a man is notdetermined by how strong he acts
.
The strength of a man isdetermined by how strong he is.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
I asked Ken that most of the time when you have a
strong business entrepreneur manand they are in a relationship
with another woman who is verysuccessful too, most men feel
intimidated by that.
How did he navigate that?
(10:26):
He said he never looked at itlike that.
How did you feel in thatrelationship?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Number one.
It's been a journey for usbecause we didn't know what it
was going to be like, and a lotof that was because a lot of
people kept asking us what's itlike?
What's it like?
What's it like?
So when we met, when no oneelse was in our circle, and we
dated for a year without anybodyknowing what was going on,
(10:53):
because we were a long distancerelationship, both of us were
very busy entrepreneurs.
We didn't need other people inour business.
The thing that attracted us toeach other was our ambition.
I was attracted to his highlevel of ambition.
He was attracted to my highlevel of ambition.
You don't get an ambitiouswoman who is happy sitting on
(11:15):
the sidelines.
So I don't think he was lookingfor a woman that was sitting on
the sidelines to begin with.
We didn't navigate it, becausewhen you have two ambitious
people, sometimes one has to sitdown in order to make the other
person happy.
I need you to be here with me.
I need you to be here with me.
So I think that when we talkabout our relationship, the
(11:37):
baseline of our relationship isbased in respect.
I might disagree with you.
I don't want you to say no atthis time, but you have to say
no, but it's the way you say noand the explanation of the no
that manages it.
I think at the baseline hewanted me to be happy and to be
(11:58):
happy.
I have to be fulfilled in mycareer and I wanted him to be
happy.
So I think that we looked at itmore like that.
I will tell you there have beenchallenges because two very
ambitious people have crazyschedules, have crazy demands.
I remember going to dinner onceand I was going for a really
(12:21):
big goal.
I had two cell phones going atthe same time.
I mean it was just like nutsand he wanted to go to dinner.
He said if you touch that phone, I'm going to break your arm.
And he was kidding because he'snot that way, but he was
serious.
Like Gloria, I need you to payattention.
So I got the message.
I think when you fight for yourtime, you're going to be met
(12:47):
with resistance, but if youlearn to flow with what's in
front of you, it's called a flow.
It's like he loves me and Ilove him.
He makes me happy, I make himhappy.
So the resistance that we see alot of couples deal with, they
forget that piece of it and thatforgetting that piece causes so
(13:13):
much distrust because you lostthe respect.
And girlfriends ask me thegirlfriends who are close to me
like, how do you guys do that?
But I will tell you.
I have some girlfriends whohave very powerful husbands and
they're very powerful women andwe hang together and I tell
(13:35):
people that you become like thepeople you hang around.
And I have a really good friend.
Her name is Chris Seton.
She says show me your friends,I'll show you your future Right?
So if you hang around women whohang around powerful men and
you're a powerful woman, you'llbe better supported by women who
understand your venture.
(13:56):
Some of us cook, some of usdon't.
Some of us sew, some of usdon't.
Some of us shop, some of usdon't.
Some of us like to spend money,some of us like to make money.
It's just.
But I think women who want tobe powerful and be with a
powerful man have to understandit's OK to give and take,
because if you give so much ofyourself without expecting
(14:24):
someone to give up themselves,you've lost respect for yourself
.
So therefore, you can't expectanybody to respect you.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
It happens, you know.
When you first started directsales, you said that you just
wanted to make $200 a week.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Right, that's what you wanted Small, just a little
money.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
You were being very reserved.
But what changed?
What changed?
Because years down the line youget to number one.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
And boldly get to number one.
So the reason I say that isbecause I always tell people I
love competition and people willsometimes make it look bad or
dirty, and the reason I don'tthink it's bad or dirty is
because it's in the Bible.
The way I read it is ironsharpens iron.
So my best makes you better,that's true, and your best makes
(15:23):
me better.
When I started with a smalldream of $200 extra week, I
didn't anticipateentrepreneurship or selling
skincare makeup was going to bemy journey.
I just want to make some extramoney because of the divorce.
You know that.
Saying that everything happensfor a reason, yes, I had no idea
(15:45):
that my dark, tumultuous, veryhard existence at that period of
my life was gonna pave the wayfor me to understand so many
other women's journeys and Aboutrelationships.
So when I started, whathappened for me is that I just
took the next success and I tookthe next success and then I
(16:11):
tell people I started my directselling business to earn extra
income.
I fell in love with it becauseof the recognition, because they
appreciated things, and I wascoming from an empty place in my
soul and Then I grew because ofthe competition when I saw
someone else do it, I wanted todo it too.
When I saw someone else do it,I wanted to have it too.
(16:33):
When I saw someone else winningdiamonds, I wanted to win it
too.
When I saw people winning trips, I wanted to win it too.
So there was a challenge, andif you like challenge and you
like to push yourself, that waswho I was, and I believe that my
confidence grew tremendouslybecause I was challenged.
And To take on a challenge ittakes courage.
(16:55):
Sorry, tell everybody.
It takes courage to build yourconfidence.
And when your confidence comes,your choices are big.
Derek.
Your choices are so big nowbecause you've had a lot of
courage to do different things.
You don't just stay in one path.
You keep redefining yourself.
If you keep redefining yourself, it takes courage to go down a
(17:16):
lane You've never gone downbefore, but you know that when
you go down that lane, that joyis so huge because the
experience is so new.
It's only people who get stuckand Doing the same thing over
and over and over again thatthey get deterred, they get sad,
(17:40):
the joy drops off.
There's no excitement.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah no, you, you have a book.
Yes, and before I even come tothat, quantum leaps, quantum
leaps.
Yes, before I even come to that, I wanted to ask you know, I
think every entrepreneur needsto learn how to sell yes, every
(18:05):
entrepreneur does, it is, it'spart of the not right?
Yes, it's, it's.
That's what the game is.
Right Now, it doesn't matterwhether it's direct sales or
online marketing what about itis?
Or selling themselves, sellingthe dream?
Yeah, now what are some of theadvice and the how-to for people
who want to follow and learn?
(18:26):
You know what would you saylike what's your top tips?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Okay, in sales top tips and sales number one know
that it's imperative, just know,just make up your mind and say
Selling is imperative.
It's critical to my success ofanything.
You guys, if you listen tospeakers, if you go to church,
if you go to school, teachersare selling students on the
power of learning.
Ministers are selling you onthe power of spiritual growth.
(18:53):
Education is nothing more thana form of sales.
Sales is nothing more than aform of education.
I'm gonna inform you as to whyit's worth it to you to exchange
your money for what I'm sellingyou.
If it's not worth it, youshouldn't spend it.
So for some reason, people willthink that selling is a form of
(19:16):
negative persuasion, and I'vealways thought of it as I'm
persuading you to do somethingyou've always wanted to do, but
you were just too afraid to doit, and so that would be a big
tip.
A big tip to me in sales isthat you have to know that
people love to buy.
They don't necessarily want tobe sold to.
They love to buy.
So they love to spend theirmoney.
(19:37):
They work for their money.
They work for the money tospend their money.
So all they want to do is spendit where it matters to them
most.
Your job is to find out whatmatters to them right now, and
if they say no, it's okay.
It just doesn't matter to themright now doesn't mean that
won't matter to them in sixmonths or six years or six days,
but doesn't matter to themright now.
(19:58):
But your job is to ask.
Your job is not to find outwhat's going on in their head.
Your job is to ask them so thatthey can tell you what's going
on in their head, and then yourjob is to solve their problem.
Someone in sales solves aperson's problem.
If I'm buying, if I'm sellingshoes, I'm solving your problem
because you want to pair shoes,either because you need them,
(20:20):
because you want to wear them,because it makes you feel better
, because it makes you lookbetter.
I don't know the reason.
It's not for me to judge.
That's another thing.
People that lose in sales isbecause they spend too much time
judging themselves or judgingthe person.
Don't judge yourself, don'tjudge the person.
The bottom line in sales is ask.
I think I became Extraordinarilysuccessful because I believe
(20:45):
that a lot of people want what Iwant, what I have.
A lot of people believe wantedwhat I have and a lot of people
Want to be successful and Ibelieve that women are a force.
I believe they are tremendousforce.
It is impossible for you toconvince me that you can't do
something.
It's easy for you to convinceme that you don't want to.
(21:07):
I Don't believe everybody wantsto do the same thing, but I'm.
It's very hard to believe toconvince me that you can't like.
I am not good with blood.
My mother was a nurse.
I am absolutely not good withblood like but if I have to be
good with blood yeah, if I finda way, I find a way.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Do you think, though, that sometimes, on the path to
success yeah, you can.
You can be so go-driven thatyou know you go so fine and you
leave certain things behind,like some of what you just
described.
Yes, it feels like We've workedso hard to get to a certain
level right, but then we misscertain things.
(21:49):
Yes, I know, and they're stillat the bottom that you are
feeling like, oh, we need to goback and pick them up with us.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Right.
I think that's why family is soimportant, because family will
wake you up when you're busy onthe phone going to your next
appointment, da, da, da.
And then your child says mommy,oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
You wake up.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You do miss some things I can honestly tell you.
We look at people and we knowtheir lives are not perfect, and
I can honestly say our life'snot perfect.
There were some majorchallenges that came along the
way.
But what I also tell people isthe challenges that you have are
dealt with differently becauseof finances.
(22:37):
I am on a path that I can'texplain about helping people and
mostly women, because that'swho I talk to mostly understand
the importance of financialstability, the importance of
(22:57):
picking themselves up andincreasing their income Period.
You have to increase your incomein order to have different
choices.
Your income is not for thematerial thing, but your income
is going to dictate the type offood you eat.
It is going to dictate the typeof security you live under.
(23:19):
It is going to dictate the typeof protection that you give to
your family.
It is going to dictate thefuture of your parents and what
happens to them later in life.
It is going to dictate some ofthe joy you do or do not get to
give to others and that you getto experience for yourself.
And so it's not about thematerial things that we see on
(23:43):
TV or that you read about in themagazine.
It is about your life choices,and until we understand how
important those life choices are, it will support your ability
for stronger emotionalmanagement, because you
understand that your bounce backability is going to determine
(24:07):
your ability to increase yourincome.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I've got three questions and you've got one
question, so the three questionsare from us, and then your
question is for the next guest.
Ok, so please think about thatquestion Now.
Our first question ismotivation or discipline in the
journey of personal development.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Ok, I would pick motivation, because I believe
the motivation creates thediscipline.
I think I don't care how faraway you are from, wherever it
is you want to go.
If you are motivated to get tothe next leg, you will get up
(24:57):
and do it.
I don't think you will getthere without discipline.
You will not get there withoutdiscipline.
But what is going to wake youup when you don't want to wake
up is the motivation.
What's going to make you workout when you don't want to work
out is the motivation.
What's going to make you studywhen you don't want to study is
(25:21):
because you're motivated to getan A, or you're motivated to
succeed for your parents, oryou're motivated to show people
that you have your work.
I know that people saymotivation doesn't last, so you
have to reignite it all the time.
But neither do showers last.
You have to do them all thetime.
So if I had to pick, I believemotivation comes before
(25:44):
discipline and success doesn'thappen unless you have
discipline.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Right, that's fantastic.
Our next question is what's thebest advice you've ever got?
The best advice?
You can't pick two, you can'tpick one and a half.
It's going to be one.
The best yes Advice.
Yes, we want to have that too.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
The best if Wow, that's such a hard question the
best advice I've ever received?
Well, I received.
What comes to me right now isthe person you choose as your
life partner.
The person you choose as yourlife partner will affect your
(26:31):
faith, will affect your family,will affect your finances, will
affect your fitness, will affectyour joy, will affect your
outlook, will affect yourspirituality, will affect your
path.
I didn't realize that when Iwas younger, but someone said
(26:58):
the most important decision youmake in life is your life
partner.
Well, and after being with Kenfor 30 years, I know what it's
like to pick a bad life partner.
I don't know what it's like topick a good life partner.
So in this moment, I would sayyou're a life partner, yeah, and
(27:23):
sometimes that life partner isyou, and sometimes that life
partner is someone else.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
That's amazing.
That's amazing.
That put a big smile on my face.
Yeah, but you picked a goodpartner.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Yes, that put a big smile on my face, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Whoa, Now what's your favorite personal development
book?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale
Carnegie how to Win Friends andInfluence People.
I just think people need tounderstand that there is a path
to making other people feel goodin your space.
My job is to make you feel goodin my space so that you want to
(28:09):
be in my space more often andso that I like my space myself,
I think.
Obviously I'm coming from abackground of sales, but I don't
care what your background is.
Tell me a profession thatdoesn't include making other
people better.
So how do we win friends andinfluence others?
(28:34):
By Dale Carnegie?
I tell people that's the book Iwould advise them, you know.
I think that without a doubt,the Bible is such a huge pathway
of instructions.
I mean, that goes withoutsaying.
But that would be my choice.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
It's a great choice.
Yeah, great choice.
I definitely recommend thatpeople should get that book and
then start reading.
Yeah, and if you want to be achampion in sales as well, then
you should get quantum leaps.
Thank, you.
Yeah, definitely yeahabsolutely Definitely.
Now our question for the nextguest.
What should that question be?
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I believe wisdom is a cornerstone to people' ability
to thrive.
So I would ask the next guestif you were to rewind 20 years,
(29:41):
what would you do, given thewisdom you have today?
Hmm, that's a very goodquestion.
I wonder where their path wouldhave changed.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
That's a very good question and you got me thinking
20 years ago.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, you know yeah, even at your young age.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Yeah, yeah, well, thank you so much.
I've enjoyed this.
Thank you so much, very much.
I've probably enjoyed it morethan you have.
No, I don't think so.
It's a bank of knowledge,wisdom.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
This is just another incredible experience here in
Ghana, and I want to share thisone thought with people all over
the world that don't miss outon the gifts that are here
because it hasn't beenadvertised to you, because it
(30:38):
hasn't been marketed to you.
You have to come and see whythis is such an incredible place
.
You have to see it, touch itand experience it for yourself.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Yes, definitely, definitely, which is why I came
back to Ghana four years agowith my family.
Yeah, I loved it from the day Iwas leaving.
I missed it, yes, you know, andI said look, I'm going to go
get the qualifications, do thebest that I can wherever I go,
yes, but I want to come back andgive my talents and my skills
to my people, because it's aland that made me Wow.
(31:15):
Yeah, so thank you so much,gloria.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
I appreciate it so much.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Derek, yeah, I hope our paths cross again.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Oh, they will.
They will, they're meant to.
This is obviously a symbol thatMorris yet to come.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Congratulations to you, Thank you.
Thank you Appreciate your timeand guys stay connected, Share
this telephone telephone.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
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