Becoming Limitless with Matt Beall

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What happens when we stop defending who we think we are? In this intimate and profound conversation, Matt Beall returns for his third appearance to explore how detaching from identities creates space for authentic living and deeper connections.

Matt shares fascinating updates since his last visit – from growing his podcast to 70 episodes, exploring Drake's Island with Graham Hancock, competing in the World Series of Poker (placing in the top 8%), and even embarking on a mission to investigate Kurt Cobain's death and explore hidden chambers in the Great Pyramid. These diverse pursuits reflect his philosophy of following life's natural flow rather than being constrained by rigid self-definitions.

The heart of our discussion examines how we create mental turbulence through attachment to labels – whether professional titles, relationship roles, or belief systems. "We get caught up in these 'I am's' of these labels," Matt explains, "and it kind of limits us and boxes us into that corner." Through personal examples ranging from parenting approaches to religious perspectives, we unpack how judgment and identification create unnecessary suffering.

Matt introduces his four key practices for maintaining inner peace: authenticity (separating true self from "movie character"), acceptance (observation without judgment), accountability (recognizing we create our own emotional responses), and presence (returning to the now when mind wanders). These practices offer a practical framework for reducing stress and finding greater equanimity amidst life's challenges.

Most powerfully, we explore the liberating possibility of replacing negative judgments with compassion and positive judgments with gratitude. In a world of 8 billion separate realities created through individual belief systems, this practice of "non-belief" and openness creates space for more authentic connections with ourselves and others.

What identities are you holding onto that no longer serve you? Listen now and discover how letting go might be the key to finding your truest self.

Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring my story and my guests. If something touched your heart please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up everyone?
Welcome to this episode ofCrystal Clear.
We have a third time returningguest today, the one and only
Matt.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Powell, it's a record for you, right Three.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
That's a record for me.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome back.
It has been a I don't knowalmost probably 18 months since
we filmed a podcast and eachtime you've been on there have
been some pretty drastic lifeshifts and changes and
evolutions and growth and allkinds of fun things.
So, getting into the secondseason of empowerment and

(00:37):
authenticity and soul searchingand following our purpose, I
thought it was just perfect tohave you back on.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Let's do it.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Tell us a little bit about what's going on with you.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah, I mean, 18 months ago is a long time.
It doesn't feel like that long,but but here we are.
So I was just kicking off thepodcast, probably about a little
bit over that, I guess.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Yeah, yeah, you had just started the podcast, I
think.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah, yeah, so that's been happening.
I mean, a lot of stuff has beenhappening.
We have two children at homenow.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yep, we have two children.
I actually did a whole podcaston losing Nilla and this is the
first time announcing on airthat we decided to impulsively
buy a new puppy.
I thought it was, I don't know.
I feel like it's like havingkids you think of there's never
a right time.
You just have to wing it, youjust have to go for it and you
figure it out as you go.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, she's been great so far, but she's been
great so far.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
My nervousness is a little bit of a wreck from being
on all the time but processingthrough that she sleeps a lot.
She sleeps a lot yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
But she's been great.
So there's that.
I mean the podcast started.
Uh, I'm up to episode 70 now.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Just came out this week.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
So we're putting out weekly episodes, so just kind of
been following life and kind ofdoing what feels right, and
obviously my day job is stillgoing well.
We just finished up a fiscalyear with Bells, so August 1st
is the beginning of a new fiscalyear and I can't believe we're
in September already tomorrow,but um crazy.

(02:05):
But uh, yeah, we had a goodyear.
It was, I mean, the first halfof the year we got destroyed by
hurricanes and and just a ton ofyou know recovery, and then we
had winter storms all over theplace and so that was a
challenge.
But then we we hit our strideand really bounced back and
salvaged a really solid year andI have a good trend going into
this next year.

(02:25):
So all is well business-wise.
I feel like people are in agood spot.
People are liking, from acultural standpoint, what's
happening and people seem happy.
We don't have a lot of turnoverand then, yeah, it's just been
outside of work, gosh, I mean.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
More work, more work, more work, but passion projects
, so it doesn't feel like worksometimes.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, for sure, For sure.
I mean we took a couple oftrips.
We went to the UK.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yep, that was so much fun.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Pretty awesome Yep Hanging out with Graham Hancock
and his wife.
They're great.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yep, and then what was kind of what the opportunity
came up for Drake's Island,which was kind of what we molded
our trip around or navigatedour trip around.
So tell me a little bit about,like, the significance of that,
because that was fun.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yeah, yeah, I mean.
Drake's Island is a littleknown island off of the coast of
Plymouth in the UK and it'sserved as like a military base,
basically for sinking any subsor ships that might have come
through the harbor for severalhundred years.
And a lot of history there.
The Royal Army.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
The Royal Army yes.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Yep, we got a tour by someone who was in, who owns
the island now Morgan.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
And his.
He was in the Royal Army.
He mentioned about a half dozentimes, maybe more, but that was
a fantastic tour, yeah, and itwas cool to get a tour from the
owner of that island, yeah, andhis family and his wife and his
daughter, and yeah, so it wasreally cool to have that
intimate experience with them.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, it'll be fun to see what they do with it down
the road, like I think the hopesand plans are to kind of
restore it and create some sortof resort or retreat type space.
So it'll be fun to see thatevolve within the next five or
ten years and revisit itwhenever it becomes whatever
it's supposed to be.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yep, yep for sure, yeah, so sure, yeah.
So that was cool.
Um, I think he was looking forinvestor partnership or
something they want to do ahotel on there, and I think he
wants to come on the podcast sothat it can get more exposure
and whatnot, but I'm sure we'llkeep in touch.
You seem like a cool guy.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
Um, I went to Las Vegas and played in the.
World Series of Poker Lifelongdream.
I did it last year too, but itwasn't the main event, it was a
different event.
But yeah, two years in a rowhave played in the World Series,
which is bucket list, which Iappreciate you supporting me and
going out there and doing andplaced both times and made money

(05:02):
both times.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, you're what top 8%.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, in both of them .
Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
I mean and that's I talk about all of my event, you
know, adventures and excursionsand things I do for myself, but
that's just something to kind ofelaborate on, I feel like,
really quickly, because I thinkin marriage and busy lives and
we have, you know, severaldifferent buckets each, and then
we have our big bucket together.

(05:27):
That's all encompassing all theother little buckets.
It's so important to honor thespace and time that your partner
needs, whether that's two hourswalking the yard and doing yard
work or going to Vegas for aweek, which, I bless you, I
could never do.

(05:48):
It's too much for me.
I just think that that's soimportant.
And when we really starteddoing that for each other, I
think, is when everything reallystarted to shift between us and
also just giving each otherthat permission to like have
your individual life too, like Ithink that sometimes and I know

(06:09):
we were kind of this way in thevery beginning like you're such
a unit and you do all thethings together all the time.
But I think it's just soimportant to also just hold
space for having you know yourown individual passions but then
also coming together andhonoring whatever that is for
you.
It's.
You know, I know.
I mean, when we were justbarely even dating, you

(06:32):
expressed how excited you wereabout playing in the World
Series of Poker Monday.
So I know how much it means toyou and it's so much fun.
I mean, I'm not a poker playerbut I love going to, you know,
play blackjack and stuff withyou, but in Vegas it's so much
fun.
I just don't feel like in thisstage of life, with everything I
have going on, that I could doit.
But I love that you get to doit and I think that's super
important, like mine's mirrorball and other little trips and

(06:55):
girls trips and things like that.
So I just I can put it outthere to anyone if you're in a
relationship, or even therelationship you have with
yourself, it's really importantto allow yourself time to just
go and play for a little bit andkind of disconnect from life
and just do your thing.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's funny that you put it that way and it's not
just with relationships with aspouse, it can be a relationship
with your kid, it can beanybody that you have a
relationship with, and it's andit's um, um, yeah, I mean just
kind of supporting the otherperson and letting them know
that their choice and what theywant to do with life and to have
a little bit of fun is okay andthat it's supported and they

(07:39):
were not judging it and thatit's not like a negative.
Um, we're going, I've got a.
Uh, Drew is now getting intopoker and he's 18 and he just
played in a tournament and hegot second place out of 200
people and of course he's kindof like his dad.
I mean he's kind of all ornothing and he's all in on that

(08:01):
game right now.
But he's not hurting anybody,he's winning.
You know, he's not like doingany damage to his brain, he's
not like drinking like I was atthat age, at freshman year of
college.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
He's not smoking weed ?
Right, he's not smoking Normal.
He doesn't really have thenormal college life.
Because I think that's where Iwould start to be concerned if
it were all of the above.
Yes, that's when I would beconcerned about the poker, but I
just, first of all, I know howyour brain works.
Both of you Like you guys liketo.

(08:32):
It's a, it's a game like, it'sa challenge.
It's like it's better thanvideo games.
You know, as long as he has aconscious, mindset about it and
knows limits and he says youknow it has a balance.
I think it's all about balance,right?

Speaker 2 (08:42):
So yes, it, it for sure.
And I got a text from his momabout talking to him about him
playing too much poker and I hadto reply like I, I I don't feel
like she wanted me to talk tohim about it and I just feel
like I, I have such a shittyrelationship with my mom because

(09:05):
of how much she does that to meand like judges the things that
I find joy in over the courseof my entire life, that it's not
the kind of relationship that Iwant to have with my, with my
son.
I want to be able to supporthim and I want to be able to say
you know what you're, you wantto do that You're not hurting
yourself, you're not hurtinganybody else.

(09:25):
Go do it.
I encourage you to go do it,just like you encouraged me to
go on on this trip.
I mean, he's making good gradesin school.
You know he's not, he's nothurting himself or other people.
So, um, I see certainly theother perspective and where
they're coming from and theconcern and totally understand
it.
But at the end of the day, we're18, I'm 46, you know it's like

(09:46):
well, it was.
At some point we have to decideare we going to be friends with
this person, are we going tosupport this person and be there
for them and offer caution ifcaution is is warranted and
necessary, but you know,ultimately, just um, um, have a
healthy relationship and ahealthy dynamic.
I feel like at some point wehave to let go of the parental
role that we play with our kidsand and to be able to be able to

(10:11):
talk to them so that they trustus and so that they, uh, they
have a safe place and that theydon't feel like what they're
doing is bad or wrong, that thatit's okay.
So, um, I know that there'sbalance, for sure, with all
things, but it's something that,at least at this stage, I've
attempted to implement that withthe kids and it seems like our

(10:34):
relationship is significantlybetter.
I've attempted to implementthat with you and you going and
doing your thing.
I try not to.
I don't worry about you.
It's like go, have fun, do yourMiraval stuff and get your
witchy stuff on do yoga foreight hours like whatever it's

Speaker 1 (10:51):
cool so eight hours for five days, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Well, the poker thing went for.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
I mean making it 12 to 12, right 12 to 1230.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah, it was 12 and a half hours a day for as long as
you can last.
It starts with 10,000 people,you, you, if you make it past
day one, usually there's 8,000left.
Day two 6,000.
Day three, you know, um, itstarts to drop quicker because
the blinds start to increase,but, um, yeah, it's a grind and,

(11:23):
uh, you have to be kind of, youknow, tried to be in the moment
as much as you can, because ifyou're, you know.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
Well, you can't be anywhere else.
Right, you have to becompletely present.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Because if you're not , then you're out.
You're going to get busted out,so I think that, if anything,
it's a good way of practicingpresence.
Mm-hmm, you know whatever thatisn't just escaping for a little
while, yeah, but um.
But I I do think it's important, as children get older, to

(11:56):
create more of those mature,adult, adult relationships
without parenting parenting,because if you have a parental
relationship, even though youare their parent, obviously
that's always going to be likewe gave life and they're here.
I just feel like it's alwaysalso important to just lead by

(12:18):
example and show them that, okay, you can do X, y and Z, but
it's important to have a balance.
It's important to have your owntime and you know we have a
daughter that's in a newrelationship and there's a lot
of time there.
But I'm like it's important tohave a balance and still make
sure you have your girlfriendtime and your sports time and

(12:38):
you know just.
But I feel like I lead byexample, of showing that rather
than just because I think that'swhere I know.
For me, I lost respect forparental authorities in my life
when it was like you know,they're telling me to do one
thing, but they're doing theopposite Right.
And they're not.
They're not modeling thatbehavior or they're not modeling

(13:00):
the things, the things.
And I understand that sometimeswe want our kids to do
differently than we've done,because you know we don't want
them to go through what we'vegone through.
But sometimes they might haveto, and sometimes they might
have to, I mean, within reason.
Obviously we want to make surethey're safe and they're
supported and they're heard andthey're understood.
I mean because at the end ofthe day, that's all we want to

(13:21):
feel right, we want to feelheard, we want to feel seen, we
want to feel understood.
And when you get into those, youknow why are you doing this
this way instead of you know howcan I support you in this way?
You know, or do you needsupport in this way instead of
offering it?
Because sometimes thatunsolicited advice can be taken
as judgment.
So, just really finding abalance with that for ourselves.

(13:43):
I even find myself likesometimes I want to say
something, but I'm like you knowwhat, if I were to say that
right now, it would make orbreak this situation.
So I want to make sure that I'mnurturing and showing
compassion for what they're alsogoing through, but also
modeling the behavior, so Idon't just look like a hypocrite
, and I think that that's whereI really struggled sometimes

(14:04):
with you know, for lack of abetter word authority figures in
my life saying one thing anddoing another, contradicting
themselves.
It was just kind of like that.
That's a really quick way forme to lose respect.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Right, right, not understand.
Well, that's why we made allthe changes we did when the kids
were getting to the age of highschool and, yeah, right, when
all the things show up withalcohol and all the substances
and all that.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
Yeah, yeah, and I think about that these days and
I'm like you know, I choose notto, but if I choose to, then I
do.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
But I usually choose not to.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Right.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
And I kind of explain why.
Like you know, I just I want tobe present for our family and,
to be honest, every time I havehad a sip of alcohol or a drink,
or a couple drinks or whateverI feel it in the day, the day of
Totally fine Fun, go with theflow.
The next day usually all right,it's like two, three days later

(15:11):
.
I start the, the, the intrusivethoughts start to come back,
the, the old patterns of youneed to get up and you need to
go sweat and like it just allstarted, my, my, my mind gets
loud and that's the biggestthing.
And so when you try to explainthat to someone that doesn't
understand and hasn't had thebreak period to understand, when

(15:34):
you bring it back, that'swhat's caught and they're like
oh, it takes the edge off.
I'm like but it doesn't reallyFor me anyway, whatever, for
some people it may.
But I encourage you if you feellike it does, just take a
little break from it and bringit back.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
It does take that edge off, but then it's right
back there.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
That's how I feel and I just know that right now you
know we have having a new puppyis literally like bringing a
feral toddler that does not weardiapers into your house, that
chews on everything and she'sbeautiful and wonderful.
And then we have afive-year-old who we're training
to adapt to this new life inour house, the new system, and

(16:14):
he's had a lot of transition.
I think he's really struggledsince we lost Nilla in June and
he's had a month off of schooland just he really thrives off
of that relaxed structure thathe really hasn't had a ton of.
So navigating some behavioralstuff with him that we haven't
had to go through has been achallenge for us, the teenagers

(16:35):
when going to college and I feellike Robbie and Tay kind of do
their own thing they're prettyeasy, even keeled.
But if I were to add, like it'sfootball season, I would have
some like pumpkin ciders duringfootball season, like we used to
, which were so good.
It's like I just know like oncethe week started I would just
be a mess.
So I just I don't know.

(16:57):
I still feel like it's a goodchoice.
For me right now it doesn'tserve me.
I mean same with coffee.
For me right now it doesn'tserve me.
I mean same with coffee, like Irealized, like if I even have,
like if I have regular coffeeand I combine it with protein,
I'm usually okay, but if I havelike just a regular cup of
coffee with no protein oranything like that with it, I

(17:19):
I'm just on a whole differentlevel as far as like agitation
and edginess and quick, likequick to snap.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
You touched on something earlier, almost
touched on something earlier.
That was level as far as likeagitation and edginess and quick
, like quick to snap.
You touched on somethingearlier, almost touched on
something earlier.
That was interesting becausewhen, when you said, people ask
you if you drink alcohol ever,and it's like you know, am I a
drinker?
Am I not a drinker?
It's, it's we kind of try tolabel ourselves as things and
you know, like when I wasn'teating meat, for example, I'm, I

(17:46):
wasn't a vegetarian, I was justwaking up every day and making
a choice not to eat meat.
So, I don't.
You don't have to self-labelvegetarian or self-label meat
eater in order to exist.
We can.
We can drop all of thoseself-labels and just wake up
every day and decide if I wantto have a drink of alcohol, or
decide if I want to have a biteof meat or whatever it is, and

(18:07):
we don't have to carry thosepatterns into the next day.
We do that because we'reidentified with that name.
Like I am vegetarian, you know,so I'm not going to eat meat
today.
But when we take those labelsaway and we make it a choice,
and we make it about just, youknow, maybe I will one day.
You know, like you.
Somebody asked you if you weregoing to drink again.
You know.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
I don't know.
But if I'm in France and I'm infricking champagne France and I
want a glass of bubbles, I'mgoing to have one.
But I will say I will do thatknowing what comes next, so in
half, and having to own that.
So then I have to make surethat, like, okay, if I know this
is how alcohol affects me orhow meat affects me or I'm

(18:48):
allergic to eggs, if I reallywant an omelet, I know how it
affects my body, but go into itwith no guilt, no shame,
understanding the consequencesof what it's going to do to my
body and be prepared to unravelthat.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
To your mind really too.
I mean yeah, for sureno-transcript.
Yeah, I mean to, yeah, for sure, I mean yeah.
So we get caught up on these Iam's of these labels, of all
this stuff and it's like and itkind of limits us and it kind of
boxes us into that corner of Iwant my beers on Friday night
and it's like that's who I, Ijust drink beer on Friday night,

(19:20):
that's who I am, you know.
And then we're stuck doing thatrepeatedly on autopilot for the
rest of our lives and it's likemaybe you know, if we want to
be empowered, if we want toactually have the choice and be
able to make the choice forourselves, then stop labeling
ourselves and stop you know, andjust kind of go with the flow
and, um, yeah, it's interesting,it does impact the mind, for

(19:41):
sure, and as does weed and asdoes you know.
Really, um, um, probablyprobably a number of things but,
certainly alcohol and weed,like the two days later, three
days later, when you're um, it'slike that, that down period
where you said your voice getsloud.

(20:02):
The voice in the head does geta little bit louder, but it's
it's more like it's agitated.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Yeah, well, your amygdala is fired up, because
that's the area of your brainthat it affects.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
Right, so that's, that's when it.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Like the reactivity is on higher alert.
Your nervous system, yourparasympathetic nervous system,
is shut down.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
Everything's a little bit more annoying.
Yeah, things aren't just kindof funny.
There's there's a lot lessacceptance for things that
happen.
There's a lot more irritation.
There's a lot.
I'm not saying with you likethis is like no, I mean it's
true with me, but when?
people say that this, it takesthe edge off.
That's the edge they're talkingabout.
It's the same edge that'screated by the alcohol in the

(20:41):
first place, and so you have to.
So then you get yourselftrapped into this cycle of it
takes the edge off, I get theedge back, it takes the edge off
, I get the edge back, it takesit and and, and.
Then you're stuck in that inperpetuity and you could have
clear, calm, just peace If youjust let go of that and had the
willpower to kind of say for thefirst couple of cause it is

(21:01):
tough for the first couple ofweeks or the first month to just
say, you know, I don't, I'mjust gonna, I'm gonna, you know,
let that go, I'm not gonna, I'mnot gonna get a drink today.
And if you can get through thatfirst kind of month period,
then you, you see that the edgeis gone.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Right, yeah, actually , um, tammy Valencinti, who I
did a podcast with a couplemonths ago, she's going to come
down in December and we'reactually going to do a kind of
like seeking sobriety for peoplethat are kind of trying to
tiptoe their way in like how todo it.
You know what, what it feelslike, what alternatives there

(21:38):
are, and I think you know it'sbeen what you haven't had a
drink in like over three and ahalf three years, about three
years, yeah, I think it's beenabout around this time almost
three years, yeah october, Ithink will be three years.
Okay for me.
I've sprinkled, I've been hereand there, yeah, um, so I don't
have a date.
But going back to that takesthe edge off and then you go

(22:00):
back and take that.
I feel like my lifestyle priorto us making that change was
just that like we really didn'tdrink that much during the week,
unless it was something we werecelebrating, which I think.
I went through a cabinet andrealized we used to write on
bottles of wine and champagne,like everything.
We celebrated a lot.
We celebrated a lot.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
It was almost like an excuse to drink.
It was an excuse to drink, yeah, or I would travel with you.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
And when I traveled with you.
That's what we did.
But then I would have thismindset of I have to go sweat, I
have to go do this.
So that's what kind of kept mybrain in that PTSD cycle,
because even though my patternswere different than they were
when I was a kid, I was stillkeeping that like cause and

(22:51):
effect cycle up.
But when you're able to justkind of stop labeling that and
just be done with it and it'sbeen reclusive and to your point
, a lot of my girlfriends we'vetalked about they're like oh
yeah, my husband and I, mypartner and I, or whoever like I
only get annoyed with my kidsif I drink or I only get I mean,
that's probably really astretch Like we all get annoyed

(23:12):
with our kids.
But you know, my spouse and Iargue more when we drink because
we're usually pretty even keelor you know not to be dead horse
with it.
But it's just, it's reallyinteresting going through and
talk about the labeling.
I think that that is reallyimportant too, because that when
you stop labeling yourself assomething like in this realm, I

(23:35):
stopped labeling myself as youknow, I've been a fitness
instructor for 22 years it'slike yeah, that's something I
did in my life, but it's notsomething I actively do now like
it's not who I am, but for solong I was wrapped up in who I
was with that, because it wasall I'd ever known and I had
worked so hard to put myselfthrough college and I'd put so
much energy into it, which is, Ithink, why we identify with

(23:57):
things iswe put so much energy into
something we identify but thenwhen I stopped doing it as or I
didn't have an eight packanymore or like those little
things would chip away at theego part of that identification
for me and it kept me like againin that mindset of I need to do
this or I have to do this, andjust the rigidity of boundaries

(24:20):
I had set for myself around thisidentification that I just had
to let go of.
Yeah, that was a beautiful partof who I am, but it's different
now and that's okay, like, andit's okay to shift.
It's okay to have career shiftsor follow your passions and do
less of like.
If you just identified as MattBell, ceo of Bell's fourth
generation chairman board ofdirectors, like you would have

(24:44):
never been open enough to havethis limitless life with this
podcast that has how many peoplelike it is off the charts now
and it's been like the mostexpansive growth I've seen in a
podcast in a two year period oftime and it's opened so many
doors for you because youweren't set and identified with
this one version of your avatar.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
My movie character, your movie character.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, it's true, you know and I think that if some of
us would just realize so that'sa challenge for you guys,
listening when in your life doyou feel like you're identified?
Is it wife?
Is it mother?
Is it your job title?
Is it your where you're from?
Is it your race?
Is it your nationality?
Is it wife?
Is it mother?
Is it your job title?
Is it your where you're from?
Is it your race?
Is it your nationality?
Is it your culture?
Like, where are you identified?

Speaker 2 (25:31):
Job title.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Yeah, it could be anything.
It's the I, it's the I am otherthan I am here.
I'm now, I'm life.
It's every other I am thatexists is a part of our movie
character.
I am all of it, Everyone is.
So we can, but we have thechoice.
We can hold on to them or we canlet go and ultimately, we're
going to have to let go to everyeverything that we're attached
to, everything that we'reidentified with, every

(25:53):
self-labeled that we have.
Ultimately, we have to let goof every one of them at the very
, at the very latest point.
When we die, we let go of allof that, right?
So you, you've you've let go offitness coordinator and fitness
person as a part of youridentity, as a part of your
movie character, and it'sbrilliant.
You probably feel much lighter,you probably feel happier, more
at peace you don't have for me,right, you don't have to defend

(26:15):
that anymore when we'reidentified with something we
find ourselves defending it andand so it's like but, but it's,
it's the.
The real challenge is to behonest with yourself about what
am I where, what are thosethings for me, and to sit down
for five minutes or 10 minutes,and I did this.
I asked my executive team to dothis on the last retreat that

(26:37):
we had.
And just, I thought this wasgoing to be 30 seconds Everybody
could write down.
You know, this is what I'mholding on to, this is what I'm
identified as, and but it took10 minutes.
I mean, people had to reallyreally think about it, and the
lesson there for me was peoplehadn't thought about this before
.
Like it was always a.
It was always a true part oftheir true self.
It's not something that they'reholding onto, so people didn't

(26:57):
realize that they have thechoice Like you can let go if
you want to, or you can hold onto these things.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
And so um, I'm holding on to being a.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Gators fan and I always use this one Like, it's,
like.
I'm not going to let that go.
I know that's a part of my ego,part of my movie character, my,
my avatar, my false self, my.
You know the, the.
I am a Florida Gator.
That's not who I am.
It's, it's not real.
I mean, that's just a that's amind thing.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
So it's a part of your life and existence that you
find joy and passion andsometimes a little frustration.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
So when we hold onto these things, we're defend, we
find ourselves, you know, whenthings are good, we feel that
that adrenaline boost or thatego surge or that, uh, dopamine
hit, you know.
And when things are bad, wewere, we're down and we're angry
or we're sad or whatever theemotion is.
And so, as long as we'recomfortable, knowing that it's
my choice and I'm okay, going onthese rides on this, on these

(27:52):
swings of every Saturday, youknow, is a judgment day in our
house.
We call it judgment day becausewe get to judge every play that
happens on the field and everyplayer.
And it's, it's, uh, it's, it's,I practice, we practice
nonjudgment or tried to practicenonjudgment.
Uh but uh, but that's a daywhere, hey, if you're identified
with something, you can'treally practice nonjudgment

(28:13):
because you've self-labeled andthen there's the other, you know
the other team.
And so, um, yeah, it's, it'skind of, it's interesting.
But but to become aware, backto the point, to become aware of
the things and to know that wehave the choice of either
holding on or letting go, likeI've let go of political party,
I've let go of race, I've let goof nationality, I've let go of

(28:37):
religion, I've let go of all ofthese things that I used to say
was who I am, you know, and, andso people are like what you
know, how is you?
You?
You are American, and it's like, well, you know you?
You back up and you look out inspace, from space, and there's
no country lines.
I mean, these are, these aresocietal constructs, these are,
these are things that have beencreated within the matrix,

(28:59):
within the society that we livein, and we all believe it and we
all say this is the truth.
You know race.
There's no scientific orbiological evidence that race is
a real thing.
It's not.
It's there's.
There's as much differencebetween an individual so-called
race as there are, um, betweenother races.

(29:20):
So people within one race haveas much genetic diversity as
people between different raceshave.
It's 99.9%, regardless of whereyou are.
So it's the is createseparation and limitation and
defensiveness.
Now I have to defend myidentity.

(29:47):
And so you know, you, you, you,once you let go of an of of
something, you find a state ofpeace.
And so we have to decide do Iwant these constant ups and
downs or do I want this state ofpeace?
And for some things it's like,yeah, I want to hold onto that,
and for other things, otherthings, I'm letting go of it.
And so you know, it's that'skind of the practice or the

(30:10):
process, I guess.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
So what things do you identify with?
You mentioned the FloridaGators.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
What else.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
What else do you identify with?

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean it's when we takesomething to a belief, it's when
we this is hard to kind of getinto, this is pretty deep, but
it's I guess.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
There are legality, like legal standpoints too, Like
legally.
We are the parents of fourchildren.
We have a birth certificatethat has our name on them.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Okay, yeah, which is in the in the matrix.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
So do you identify as a father?

Speaker 2 (30:49):
Um, not really, no, I mean, um, I see where you're
going with this.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
Do you identify as a husband?

Speaker 2 (30:57):
Yes, Would you?

Speaker 1 (31:02):
like for me to identify as a wife.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
I don't.
It's up to you as a wife.
I don't, it's up to youBullshit.
I got bullshit on that.
I think our relationship wouldbe the same.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
I got bullshit on that and I don't think it would
be at all.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
It might be more enhanced, okay.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
For those of you who know old Matt, I just want you
to soak in that for a second.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Which is why jealousy is like not a thing like it
used to be for me, you know, ohGod, no, you have like 180
degrees, right right, so it's,it's it's really been freeing
from a just a.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Well, I think that was fear.
It was fear of losing me, Causeat that point in time, like I
said before, we were such a unit.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Ego is all fear.
Yeah, I mean.
Well, it's all attachment andit's all, it's all um
resistances, like I mean.
So the attachment is the onething that's easy to see, but
sometimes it's hard to see yourresistances, but it's, it's the
same thing, it's just theopposite.
It's just the opposite.
So I my, I resist, um, um, andpeople are going to probably,
you know, take offense to thisbecause they're identified as a

(32:02):
religious person.
But I resist the establishmentof religion.
I don't think it's helpingsociety, I don't think that it's
doing any good for anyone.
I don't think it's reducingfear of death.
I think it's creating conflict,it's creating separation, it's
creating division amongst people.
It's not in line with what wesee from near-death experiencers

(32:25):
who have had experiences withquote-unquote God.
It's not a religious God.
It's an all-encompassing lightthat everyone is seeing and
interacting with, but it is aGod, but it's not a specific
religious God.
And so I've taken that one tothe resistance phase

(33:05):
no-transcript, where I waseating the physical body of
Jesus every week and I wasdrinking his physical blood
every week.
That's the belief in the church.
That it's not.
It's not a metaphor.
That's real for Catholics andmost of them don't know that.
But that's by by signing up forthe Catholic church.
That's what you agree to,that's your belief, that's the

(33:26):
system.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
And so, growing up that way because I, as you know,
but I was just kind of freespirited my Nana was very
spiritual and she used somereference terms from the Bible,
but I was never really exposedto that type of organized
religion per se, which I'm verygrateful for.
In the way that we've raisedTatum and Brody as well, I want

(33:49):
them to choose one day.
If something resonates withthem, by all means, please
follow your dream and whateverthat leads you to.
I just like to leave it openfor them.
So, growing up that way, didyou feel like you had more
connection spiritually?
Like, did you?
Because now that you'vebranched out, you do have a very
strong spiritual connection.

(34:10):
It's just not a religiousconnection and there's, you know
that's very different.
So what makes you feel, or whathas been the biggest kind of
internal shift of the way youwere kind of taught to believe
and like?

Speaker 2 (34:23):
what your experience is now and this may be too deep
Well, the biggest difference isthat now I recognize that it's
an internal look, thatspirituality starts from within
and religion is an externalseeking where we're looking for
something that exists,supposedly exists, outside of us

(34:46):
.
It's not something that we're apart of or that we're one with.
It exists outside of us.
It's not something that we're apart of or that we're one with.
It exists outside of us, and sowe're constantly looking for
God elsewhere, in other places,and it's been.
You know, the business oforganized religion is the most
successful business that's everbeen created by mankind.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
It's a 2,000 year old business.
We were traveling all thesecathedrals like how in the world
.
Do they afford to build them?

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Because of their success because they're shaming
people into donating money totheir business and and guilting
and judging, and so that, for me, is the biggest difference is
that I've always felt judged asa um, you know in in the
religious environment that then,and and shame was used as a
tactic to control and to todictate behavior, and there

(35:37):
wasn't support, it was.
It was uh, this is this is the.
The way, and it was always anattempt to gain moral or egoic
superiority over someone and toattempt to show God that you are
, you know, that you arewhatever, you know above

(35:58):
everyone, and so judgment isused as a way to shame and to
control people within religiouscircles, and that has been my
experience for my whole life,and so when I get a text from
talking about my child who'splaying poker, it's like you
know what?
There's nothing wrong with that.

(36:19):
We don't need to say thatthat's wrong or that that's bad.
It's legal, he's not hurtinganyone, he's not losing any, any
money.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
He's enjoying himself , Right?
I mean if he were in debt orhad Right, and it's a different
story.
Yeah, I feel like it's settingboundaries on thing or teaching
them to set healthy boundaries.
And detaching having healthydetachment from something.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
I understand.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
But again, that needs to be modeled behavior, not
just like lecturing.
It's like, okay, well, let's,you know it's great if you play
however many nights a week, butif that's all you're doing and
it's consuming you, then youknow that's.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
But this is kind of the.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Thought too, but it's teaching them to understand
that themselves, not trying tocontrol it.
It's, like, you know, maybeencouraging them to observe,
like do you feel like you have ahealthy balance with that and
everything else going on withlife?
Or you know and just, but it'sa self-observation because we
can't change it for anyone else,like we can only change what's

(37:18):
going on with us, right, wecan't control anyone else or try
to.
And I think the more we try todo that, the more we feel
resistance towards that personor whatever it is, because we're
trying to control the outcome,because it makes us
uncomfortable.
Right, and that was always mybiggest thing is like you know,
when I was trying to controlsomething or a situation, or a

(37:41):
person or whatever it was,because it made me uncomfortable
.
And it made me uncomfortablebecause of my own inner beliefs,
my judgments, my what I feltlike was you know, I'm not in
that person's shoes.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Right, yeah, it wasn't.
It wasn't it that made youuncomfortable?
That's where the accountabilitycomes in.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
Right, I know you're just, it was my thought process.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
It was your thought process.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Yeah, it was my thought process, it was your In
my history.
And I think sometimes where wekind of fall off and don't
realize is if we don't take thetime to really understand the
root of why we feel resistancetowards.
And I have to do this all thetime, like why is it that I'm

(38:26):
resisting this situation or thisperson?
Or this event, or whatever thisstands for, and it's because
it's, it's created something,something uncomfortable within
me.
And usually that's.
You know, like I said, I didn'thave the religious experience,
but I also I I feel like I I putso much self judgment onto
myself that I was judging otherpeople because I was judging

(38:51):
myself in a certain way, youknow, whether it was fitness or
health or whatever and I thinkthat it comes down to that too,
like are there still little waysinside that we're judging
ourselves or that we're feelinginsecure, and how are we
projecting that out?

Speaker 2 (39:07):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah, and it's, it's, and it's
something that, for me, I needto work on having more um
non-judgment for it.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
You know I need to work on the judges.
Yeah, you have to stop judgingthe judges.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah, exactly, and um , and the, and just the process
and what it's doing to.
Yeah, I have to let go of myresistance towards it and
that'll help me, you know, be bemore at peace and it'll help me
create less conflict and it'llhelp me, you know, and and so,
but I mean I think that thatjust even having this

(39:44):
conversation, which will be apublic conversation that people
will be able to listen to, Imean your, your mind starts
thinking well, this is somethingthat people are going to judge
and it's something that they'regoing to to um, they're going to
be judging based on theiridentification as a religious
person, you know, and and so sothere's going to be that hate

(40:07):
and that judgment and thatseparation that's created
because they feel as if it's anattack and they have to defend
their self, their false self,their movie character, and
that's kind of the basis of allof this.
And so for me to be able to havemore acceptance and just
understand what's really andwhat's really happening is I
have resistance to something.

(40:29):
Other people are identifiedwith that same thing.
They're going to defend it, youknow, and um, and it's going to
create conflict, and so I, theonly thing I can do is not have
resistance towards it, and youknow that that's the only thing
I can do, and so I have to workon observing that and letting go
of that.
And um, um and um, you know,other other people, at the end

(40:52):
of the day are are going to dowhat they're going to do.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
Right?
Well, I'm just realizing thatyou know, everyone's entitled to
their perspective and situation.
Everyone's life is completelydifferent and their experiences.
I mean you can have, as we know, four children that have
completely different lifeexperiences than the other.
Like you know, robbie and Drewhave had more of a similar life

(41:19):
experience than all fourcombined, but they're completely
different people.
They have completely differenthobbies, completely different
habits, completely differentbeliefs.
I mean different hobbies,completely different habits,
completely different beliefs.
And you know, they're just,they're unique people.
So just understanding that, Imean, and honestly, yeah, there
may be some people that hate itand have judgment towards it,
but you might be planting a seedfor other people to be like oh
wow, I've never thought of itthat way.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
I guarantee you, at least one person will take
something from this.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Yeah, and that's the reason I'm doing it, like that's
kind of my intention for this.
It's like you know one person,if if each episode if one person
it resonates with them, that'sall that matters.
Like, that's really.
You know there might behundreds, that it doesn't,
thousands even, and that's okay.
Like, and I think that it'simportant and this is kind of
one of my life mottos is, youknow, is like, I'm not for
everyone and that's okay.
Like, not everyone's not goingto resonate with them, but for
some people it will, and thatgoes for everyone.

(42:13):
Like, and that, I think, goesto the societal kind of
construct that we have.
On seeking external validation,to get back to your point
earlier, it's like it all comesfrom within.
Like if you're truly confidentand at peace and you know you're
feeling good about where youare and what you're doing and
you feel you're purposeful andwhatever it is that you're doing

(42:35):
in your life, you don't careabout that external stuff.
You don't care if people aregoing to hate on it Well, okay,
that's their experience andthat's okay.
Right, are going to hate on it?
Well, okay, that's theirexperience and that's okay, and
you know.
So I think we stop seeking thatexternal validation from
wherever it's coming fromcriticisms and or even the good

(42:55):
things you know.
I think we forget about thattoo, like in all the great
things, like if people love itand it's like, oh, we, we, we
soak that in, we absorb it, butpeople hate it, we ignore it,
like it's still a part offeeding the ego cycle, you know.
So it's like just justreleasing it.
Hey, if I feel good about whatI'm doing, that's all that
really matters.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
Yeah, stress is worrying about other people's
perspectives or other people'sjudgments or and and of course,
there's financial stress, youknow there's, there's there's
other types of stressors thatthat society creates, but
society creates.
But ultimately a big source ofstress for a lot of people is
worrying about what other peoplethink and letting go of that

(43:33):
and recognizing that it's justthe other person's judgment that
only comes because they'reidentified with something that
they're defending.
If we can realize that, stressreally goes away.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
Right, and when we think about the root and you had
this earlier who do we startworrying about?
First, what other people thinkOur parents?

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
We start seeking approval from our parents from
like birth, right, like was it agood thing or a bad thing?
Their facial expressions, likeyou can.
You can tell so much about likefrom body language and facial
expressions, so you don't haveto say anything.
So what is the first thing?
Young babies that don't knowhow to communicate, they start

(44:11):
looking like and I think aboutthis with the new puppy you know
like they are understandingjudgment from the minute they're
born the minute they're bornlike are they happy?
are they sad?
Are they, you know, maybe notin the world today, where
everyone's face is frozen fromBotox, you can't tell as much.
But that's a whole otherpodcast that I'm excited to get

(44:33):
Dr C to talk about.
But you know, that's just justso something to think about
there.
Like, even if we're notoutwardly judging, it still
shows, like I still got to workon my facial expression
sometimes.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Yeah, for sure, yeah, and the practice is just
observing it when we do, youknow?
Yeah, and owning it and justbeing like you know what I'm
feeling some kind of way aboutthis, and it's okay.
And then figuring out wherethat's coming from, right, like,
what is it that I am attachedto, what am I identified with or
what am I resisting?
That's creating that judgmentand that's where I think, if we
can do that and start to learnmore about ourselves, that's the

(45:11):
spiritual component of that.
Self-awareness, basically, iswhat that is.
It's awareness of yourself andso, yeah, being able to see
those times in which we aredoing that and then
understanding where it's comingfrom.
Most people can't even see whenthey're when they're.
I was having a conversation withwith somebody, uh, from
Sarasota on text a couple ofdays ago and it was like um, he,
he said that, um, annalenaPauluna, or whatever, the, the,

(45:35):
the Congresswoman that went onto um Joe Rogan's episode and
was talking about UAP.
He's like, oh, she's, she's,her past behavior has been very
erratic and that's his way ofkind of staying within this
bubble of reality that he'screated, um, that that doesn't
involve uap.
He's like he's judging her, asyou know, some insane person or

(45:56):
or whatever.
And it's like I'm like, okay,but let's take judgment aside,
and and he's like um, I, Ireally don't think I'm judging
her and and it's like pastbehavior erratic.
And so I asked chat GPT doesthat?
Is that judgment?
Yes, and so you know.
You screenshot that and showpeople aren't even aware that
judgment is so common, it's soprevalent in everything that we

(46:17):
do.
Again, that's what we're taughtfrom the moment we're born, the
moment we're born everything isgood, bad, right, wrong, and and
and and every shade of that andeverything in between.
And it's like acceptance isreally the cure to that of, of
just of just observing withoutjudgment, just just awareness.
Without judgment, you can even,it doesn't even have to.

(46:37):
Uh, awareness might be a betterword than acceptance, even.
But but yeah, not having to godown that path of this is good,
this is bad, this is right orwrong, it's just is good, this
is bad.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
this is right or wrong, this just is, it just is.
And when I think again,modeling the behavior of
self-awareness can show otherpeople what that looks like,
what that feels like.
So back to your point, with youknow not parenting and having
more adult relationships withthe kids, it's like, you know,
teaching them aboutself-awareness and how to look
within themselves, to know whento regulate or change some

(47:11):
things around or when they needto make life shifts and changes,
and I think that that's like,especially when it comes to our
kids, I think that we don't weunderestimate the power that
they really have to be.
I mean, I think about.
You know, we're so pure whenwe're born if we allow ourselves
to be like we're.

(47:33):
We're so pure if we don'treally expose that.
You know a lot of the rigiditywhich I think we've done this
time around with Brody and youknow, like I said, we've we've
had some challenges recentlywith some behavioral things and
you know, nothing crazy, justlack of listening and wanting to
be silly all the time and it'slike, but that's kind of how we

(47:54):
lead, the household is beingsilly and fun and I need a hug,
and you know.
So now it's kind of like everytime we ask her to put her shoes
on.
But I need a hug.
Okay, I love giving you a hug,but we still need to listen and
put our shoes on.
So coming up with some moreideas and motives I think it's
really just a structure thing,but I don't know.

(48:15):
So, moving on to um, yes,moving on, what else are you
doing?

Speaker 2 (48:17):
Yeah, Well, I'm kind of following wherever life leads
me and it's been incrediblewith, I mean, business wise has
been great because, um, thingsare, the culture is in the best
place that it's ever been.
People are in the best placethat they've ever been.
The, the, just, their abilitybased on the kind of the, the,
the, what we used to call valueswe're now calling practices, um

(48:40):
, are, are, really kind ofbecoming something that people
are understanding and beginningto practice and that's helping
people through a lot of reallydifficult life situations.
And so I'm getting all kinds ofemails and letters and just
thank yous from people that havethat have begun to practice a
few things, that that um aretotally optional but but they're
kind of diving into it andthat's really helped them with

(49:02):
personal life situations.
So, um, and business is reallyreally good and and so you know,
I think that a lot of that iscorrelated and that that um,
that culture.
Of course, there's much more toit than that.
It's very complex, but butculture does does determine how
successful you're going to be,because if you have a very
oppressive kind of uh, um, ajudgmental kind of a um, kind of

(49:32):
a judgmental, kind of aegotistical kind of a culture,
then those are the businessesthat always fail, those are the
ones that don't succeed or havea lot of turnover.
Or have a lot of turnover, andso people wonder how do you keep
a 110-year-old retail businessgoing right now, like every
other business in America, iskind of failing or gone bankrupt
or gone out of business and um,you know it's not a, it's not

(49:53):
an easy answer, but but I dofeel like culture is a big part
of it and just the way thatpeople kind of stick together
and treat each other and andwhatnot.
So business can't be happierwith.
I mean, outside of that, I'mfollowing my passion with this
podcast and it's kind of led toa couple of things our Drake
Island trip in the UK and thetime with Graham and all of that

(50:15):
, of course, but then otherthings as well.
So upcoming.
I've partnered with a team ofscientists and engineers that
are going to be exploring thebig void within the Great
Pyramid.
So that's pretty excitingbecause there's this new void

(50:36):
that's been detected a number ofyears ago I think it's been
eight years or so now butnobody's been able to get into
it yet or explore it, and so I'mhelping this team, help funding
the robotics portion of this,this team, and so that's led to
all these great opportunities.
That's actually what led to ourconnection on Drake's Island
with, uh, with the owner ofDrake's Island, um, it's led to

(51:01):
um, it's led to anotherexploration within the great
pyramid ofid of the Queen'sChamber, the Northern Queen's
Chamber shaft that goes up tothe wall from the Queen's
Chamber, and kind of lookingbehind this blocking door and
seeing what's behind that.
The South Queen's Chamber doorhas been explored behind the

(51:23):
blocking stone, but the Northhasn't, and so we're going to be
doing that, scheduled forDecember.
So that's pretty cool.
I'm excited to kind of bringthat to the world, you know,
with this group of people oflike, what's really in this big
void in the great pyramid.
It's this huge.
I mean, the whole thing hasbeen explored and as a mystery
and a wonder in and of itself.
But now there's this whole newuh chamber that's as big as two

(51:45):
semi trucks, that's in this,this building that nobody knows
what's in there.
So that's pretty exciting.
Um, and then you know this KurtCobain uh thing, which, um, is
something that I've beenreceiving um, um support on from
my fans and followers and um,for the most part my, my family

(52:07):
and the close people around me,but, but um, some, some family
as of me, yeah.
And then not, not no support anda lot of fear, uh, coming from
other members of my family andand a lot of shame and a lot of
judgment coming from otherpeople on that, thinking that it
can, that it could be, um, verydangerous for myself or for our

(52:30):
company, which is nonsense.
Um, I mean basically nonsense.
Certainly no risk for thecompany.
We've been through all of that.
But um, by the company I meanuh, bells, but um, um, so anyway
, I'm just very excited aboutgetting that case reopened and
having Kurt Cobain's deathfinally be investigated, because

(52:52):
I am almost 100% sure that hewas murdered and the evidence
for that is overwhelming.
He was already dead when he wasshot.
Almost certainly there was noblood splatter, meaning he had
no blood pressure.
There were no fingerprints onthe gun.
The gun had been wiped clean.
There was no blood splatter,meaning he had no blood pressure
.
There were no fingerprints onthe gun.
The gun had been wiped clean.
There was no blood splatter onthe gun.
The shell ejected in the wrongdirection.

(53:14):
It was neatly placed on hisjacket over in the corner of the
room.
He had five times the lethaldose of heroin in his system
when he supposedly shot himself.
Heroin in his system.
When he supposedly shot himself, he was already probably
clinically dead from the heroinand they just wanted to um and
there's all kinds of there's.
There's so many people who havegotten confessions from um, the

(53:40):
people who were involved, thatum you know at parties or
whatever, when people are drunkand you know they're talking
about it and and uh, yeah,exactly, and so you know.
There's more than that.
There's a lot more evidencethan that Um, which we won't.
It's not for this podcast, butbut I'm excited to actually be
um pushing that forward.

(54:00):
I think that we've collectedall of the evidence that needs
to be collected at this pointand now it's just the process of
turning over that evidence tothe proper people to get the
case um actually investigatedfor the first time, because it
was ruled a suicide the day thathe died without any proper
investigation.
Um and um.
The reason it was ruled asuicide is because of the media

(54:21):
frenzy and and um and andsomeone said that a suicide was
note was found at the scene, andso that the reporter came out
and that a suicide note wasfound at the scene, and so the
reporter came out and said asuicide note has been found and
then all of a sudden it's globalnews Kurt Cobain commits
suicide and they can't put thatgenie back in the bottle.
It was never investigated.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
Well, they never investigated it as a homicide.
I read the book.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
Yeah, from the PI or whoever yeah.
Well, the thing to watch isprobably, um, uh, soaked in
bleach, yeah, on netflix yearsago.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Years ago, that's, and I remember you being like
what yeah, yeah, because we bothgrew up listening to him right
right um, and you were intriguedfrom them.
So you know again, it's one ofyour passions your passion, your
justice right like yourunderstanding.
I feel like that's like me andphilanthropy in some ways, and I
I love that you've you'vefollowed that and I think that

(55:14):
that's the glory of having these.
You know, yes, um, you havethis beautiful family business.
It's allowed to very manyresources and opportunities, but
you also have your own businessin your own life, right, and
you're able to utilize that andleverage that however you feel
fit.
You know, and I think thatthat's one thing that I have

(55:35):
really appreciated about thischapter is it's completely
separate.
So, yes, we again back to allthe buckets.
Like you have a separatebusiness that allows you to be
creative and it doesn't haveanything to do with bells and I
think that that's okay andthat's important, you know, and
same with me, like I have thecommunity outreach and all the

(55:55):
things I do for bells, but Ihave this and I have my retreats
and I have, you know, it's acompletely separate, different
avenue that fulfills me and andyou don't have to have just one
bucket in life.
It's important to have multiplesometimes and it's not always
easy to manage, but I think thatthat's been one of the biggest

(56:17):
evolutionary pieces of yourpersonal growth is having
something of your own, not toget attached to it or identify
with it or whatever, but I justthink it's been, it's been huge
and it's been great and it'sreally served a lot.
I mean, you're able to just puta lot of cool stuff out there,

(56:37):
right, that people areinterested in, because it's
stuff you're interested in andit's like how fun is that it's
led to all these coolopportunities.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
So you never know like it's growing like crazy too
like you said, said I meanprobably 300,000 followers at
this point between the channels,so YouTube's been a little
slower.
I think that's someself-inflicted mistakes 60,000
on YouTube, though, you know butwe've split out the shorts and
the clips from the main channelnow and it was kind of all
jumbled together and that isn'tgood for their, their algorithm,

(57:05):
but it's uh.
Yeah, it's been fantastic andfun and I've met so many new
friends and new people that I'vetotally vibed with, and and
then you get some guests thatyou just really don't vibe with
which is okay, you know, andmost of the time it's just like
they're just so.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
uh, there's just yes, yes and that's okay.
But again back to what I saidearlier.
I think when you get peoplethat put so much energy and so
much into something, it's hardnot to identify with it because
you put your whole life into it,so I think that's where a lot
of that comes from.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
Right.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
And you have a lot of really smart people, really
smart people.
Like you know, everyone's brainfires a little differently and
some of us have a harder timedetaching from things than
others, because we can kind ofstay stuck in it.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
And that's okay.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, it's interesting.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Sometimes, like the scientists that you connect with
that are supposedly the reallysmart people are actually the
most you know, the most closedminded, the most Like the guy
that, um, we don't have tomention names, but he was
drinking a glass of wine atdinner and we mentioned
something about psilocybin andmushrooms and he was like I
would never do that because itmesses with your brain.

(58:18):
And we're like what the fuck doyou think the alcohol does?
That does too.
All of it does.
Well, he mentioned psilocybinbecause he was on an island with
Richard Branson and Richardoffered him some and he's like
no, I don't do drugs.

(58:39):
And then he's sitting theredrinking his alcohol.
You know, it all has different,very different, but I don't
know.
I've tried both.
I prefer the other rather thanthe alcohol.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
Well, one creates neuroplasticity and one shuts
down your brain right withinreason, within reason, within
reason everything withinmoderation, within reason right
right um, but yeah, it's justfunny.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
But the scientists, and I mean you, you have a such
a broad range a very broad likesuch a broad range, which is
really great.
So what else?
Um, what haven Um?
What haven't we talked about?
I?
Mean I feel like there's justso much.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
I for sure don't think we can air this episode,
but it's been a greatconversation, no judgment, no
regrets.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
It's going, it's out there.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
Yeah, no, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Um, what part of what part brings you the most fear
of airing the episode?

Speaker 2 (59:26):
Nothing, nothing.
I don't have fear.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
Don't judge him.
He's just expressing his wholeheart.
You guys, yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
No, it's fine, I'm good with all of it.
I think it's been a greatconversation, but I mean, yeah,
there's so much going on in life, just in general, and how do
you stay regulated?

Speaker 1 (59:47):
How are you balancing and maintaining your sanity
between all the things?
Because you do have the bigcorporate job, you do have the
big podcast and adventures andopportunities.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
You do have the wife and kids at home it's a lack of
substances and it's a uh andit's a and it's the practices.
You know, mean that's what'sreally helped me regulate is the
four practices, the four keypractices there's really eight
in total, but I mean that hashelped me so much just have a

(01:00:18):
stress-free life of just total,being able to be in the moment
and being able to kind of notworry and not stress and not go
into future.
I mean, when we're going intofuture, we're, we're, um.
That's where stress is created,that's where fear is created,
that's where anxiety is created.

(01:00:38):
You know, and so you know, thatwhen your mind takes you there,
and, and, and and, going intopast, it's sadness, it's
depression, it's.
You know, we can look upon thepast for sure with, with, and
judge it positive, or we canjudge it negative and create
these and and hold ontoresentment and create these,
these spirals of just, you know,negativity and and, um, I think

(01:00:59):
the, the really the like, the.
The initial realization for methat had totally changed my life
came after reading um eckharttolley's a new earth and, uh,
that's some rain, huh I thoughtthat was ac.
Tell us what the practices areyeah, because my audience isn't
as aware as right you're right,yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
Um well, I mean um like the ones that help you the
most.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
No, I get it.
Yeah, um, the.
The first thing I think that Ihad to kind of realize was that
I'm not my mind, and that isthat, before you even think
about it, any of these practicesmaking any sense.
You have to kind of create thatseparation between your true
self and your, your mind, yourtrue self and your movie

(01:02:02):
character.
Your true self and your avatar,the internal I am your
spiritual self.
If you identified with thethings that are beliefs, the
things that are resistances, thethings that are part of my
conditioning, that that's allthe separation and the um.
It creates a calm and a senseof peace and it diffuses the um

(01:02:32):
kind of the resistance or theturbulence.
But but so that is, I think,kind of basic to understanding
the practices.
Is that separation of mind, umfrom true self?
But, yeah, the practices areauthenticity, yeah, and so that
what I just described is thepractice of authenticity and so

(01:02:53):
we don't have to go deep intothat one, but it's just
understanding the differencebetween my true self and my
movie character.
The second is acceptance, whichis basically observation or
awareness, without judgment, tolook at something, some events,
or even internally, looking atmyself, and not just being aware

(01:03:15):
of it, just being aware that itexists and not judging it good
or bad, or right or wrong.
And that's our minds areconstantly.
The light comes in through oureyes and it's processed by our
brains and so we're constantlyscanning, we're constantly kind
of looking at what's happeningaround us and processing
information.
And so the practice ofacceptance is processing that

(01:03:37):
information without judging it,without turning it into good,
bad, right or wrong, and thiswas as far as I'm concerned.
Jesus actually did have a lotof he and I would have vibed, I
think of um, he was he, he, he,he, he and I would have vibed, I
think um, he, he, uh, when,when the the story about Adam
and Eve eating from the tree ofknowledge of good and evil, um,

(01:03:58):
to me that means that theybecame judgmental, um, they ate
from the they, they becameknowledgeable of good and evil,
and that was original sin.
That that is, in my mind, theum, and I think it's very clear
in the Bible that that isoriginal sin, that that they
became judgmental when they atefrom the tree of knowledge of
good and evil.
And so acceptance is thepractice of, not of, of

(01:04:21):
unwinding that quote, unquoteoriginal sin.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Or uh, didn't your mom call me the product of
original sin when we firststarted dating she?

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
calls a lot of people .

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
That's always what I think about, but the funniest
part is she doesn't understand.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
You know, she just doesn't understand.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
It was just different , it was fine.
Yeah, okay, so authenticityacceptance.

Speaker 2 (01:04:39):
Accountability is the third.
So what happens after we judgesomething is we, um, we create
mental turbulence If we'rejudging it negatively.
It's an, it's a resistance thatwe're creating.
If we judge somethingpositively, then we're creating
attachment or identification,yeah, or happiness, sure, yeah,
happiness comes from positivejudgment, sadness comes from

(01:05:01):
negative judgment.
And so if, if we get past, ifwe, if we're not practicing
acceptance, and we get past that, so we've judged something,
then we move to.
We've got another choice nowWe've got another option to pull
ourselves out of this mentalmatrix of a world, and we can do
that through the practice ofaccountability, which is the
knowing that it's no one else'sfault, that I'm feeling my

(01:05:26):
turbulence because of myjudgment of something, that if
someone cuts me off in traffic,or, and I get mad, or if
someone's playing poker too muchand I get mad, or I judge that,
as I've just judged that aswrong, and so I've created this
mental and emotional disturbance.
Well then, it's, it's theknowing, uh, of the, the fact

(01:05:47):
that it's not their fault, um,there's no one to blame and I'm
not a victim, and and it, so Ican't blame them for how I feel
on the inside mentally, and sothat's accountability.
It's kind of, it's the knowingthat that I created my own
mental situation based on myjudgment, based on my lack of
acceptance.

Speaker 1 (01:06:06):
Or things that you've done, cause I think sometimes
accountability can be externalthings.
So if you have done somethingor been reactive or said
something to someone, like, Ithink part of accountability is
understanding a where that camefrom within yourself and
following through, because youcan be a complete asshole to
someone and be like oh yeah, Iobserved myself, but like part

(01:06:26):
of the accountability in that islike owning fact that you're an
asshole or whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (01:06:33):
Asshole judgment.
Yeah, I mean so.
So then it goes back toauthenticity, it goes back to
the first part, and so if, ifyou want, you want me to walk
you through this, it's like thewe become identified with
something and that is that ithappens at the point of the
authenticity practice and then,based on that identification, we

(01:06:57):
judge something and that movesinto the acceptance practice and
then, based on that judgment,we lose our mindset, we lose our
mental, we create turbulence.
If it's a negative judgment, wecreate attachment or
identification or even addictionat times.

(01:07:17):
If we really judge somethingpositively, like to the extreme,
and we keep poker is the bestthing in the world, I have to go
play poker, and so it comesfrom my identification as a
poker player and judgment aspoker is positive, and then not
being able to see that on thephase of um, of accountability
and then presence is kind of thefourth um practice, where if

(01:07:38):
our mind is taking us to past ortaking us to future, then I can
observe my mind as it's, asit's um, judging something in
the past.
It's it's lost accountability,it's lost acceptance, I'm
judging that thing as negative,or I'm creating some future
scenario that doesn't even exist, where I'm creating anxiety or

(01:07:59):
I'm creating fear or whatever itmight be, and so the practice
is observing my mind to bring meback to the present moment from
the past or from the future.
So that's kind of the firstfour practices and a really
really short kind of a basichigh level overview nutshell.

Speaker 1 (01:08:18):
Awesome.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Yeah, well, it's been a lot ofgreat insight.

Speaker 2 (01:08:23):
Yeah, good, good, yeah, appreciate you.
Just a perspective.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
It's wild and crazy, I get it, but not for everybody
but it's your perspective andthat's okay, like it's your
unique experience with your lifeand the way that you've chosen
to you know navigate it all.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
So I think it's a beautiful thing yeah, well, um,
yeah, it's uh, yeah, it'sinteresting.
Life always hits you in thepresent moment with things, with
challenges or opportunities orwhatever you want to call them,
but it's how we respond to thosethings that life hits us with,
and, for me, practicing reallythose four things I mean

(01:09:03):
gratitude is another onePracticing gratitude.
Openness is practicing beingopen-minded.
Transparency is practicingbeing open-minded.
Transparency is practicingbeing honest or straightforward,
um, and so you know, practicingthose things are a way that I
am able to navigate throughreality, um, in a reality that's

(01:09:24):
not created through my beliefs,and, um, it's just practices.
You know, it's like a lot, of alot of times I used to, and I
think most people are, in aplace where we create a reality
through the beliefs that we have, and that kind of clicked a
while back that, well, my God,no wonder there's so much

(01:09:46):
conflict in this world, wherethere's 8 billion separate
realities that everyone'screating through their beliefs,
and so you know, this is the God, and then, on this side of the
world, this is the God, and thenon, and so, practicing
non-belief, and which isopenness, and, and you know,
being open to other people'sperspectives, but realizing that
, um, what we're really doing isis creating our own reality.

(01:10:07):
Um, is kind of kind ofdangerous, and so just just I
think that that that too isanother, yeah, another key thing
that kind of helps, helps menavigate anyway.

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
I feel like that.
Really for me, just listeningto you explain it, really all
boils down to having compassionand understanding, I mean for
yourself and for others, andunderstanding that, hey, like
everyone's beliefs are different, everyone's life experiences
have led them to be where theyare in this present moment.

(01:10:42):
So I can have compassion forthat.
Do I have to relate to it?
No, do I have to, you know,dive deep and believe in it?
No, do I, you know, justunderstanding that each person
is very unique and just havingcompassion for others and myself
, if I'm going through somethingand just really bringing it
back to that, and I think thatthat is what really allows us to

(01:11:06):
stay within a peaceful inwardstate is having that compassion
for ourselves and others,because then we don't get
attached to or try to defend ortry to.
You know, it's just okay.
Whatever we can observe, we canhave compassion.
Yeah, we can take it forward.

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
Yeah, yeah, I think the yeah agreed a hundred
percent.
It's.
It's a great way to.
If we can replace the positivejudgments with gratitude and
replace the negative judgmentswith compassion, then it's a
really, it's really a greatplace to be.
I mean, you know, when we saypractice non-judgment, positive

(01:11:43):
or negative, um, okay, so whatdo I do?
I just look at the thing that'shappening, you know, I mean I,
if it's something that I wouldjudge positive, I think it's,
it's a great way if we canreplace whatever that wonderful
thing is just for gratitude.
And if it's a negative thingand if somebody is just being an
ass, like you said before, youknow, whatever it is just change

(01:12:04):
that for compassion towardsthat, towards that person.
Like I don't have to judge thatperson or myself as negative or
a jerk or whatever it might be.
I can just have compassion formyself because of the way that I
acted or for the other personfor the way that they're acting.

Speaker 1 (01:12:22):
So, and in that I think when you have that
compassion you're able toseparate it.
It helps you not personalizeother people's stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:12:28):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:12:29):
And that's the key too.
It's like when you havecompassion, you also aren't
personalizing whether it's goodor bad.
It doesn't have to be bad, um,and it just allows you to kind
of have a free-flowing,open-minded perspective of all
the things cool.
But we'll appreciate you comingon today yes, I think we're

(01:12:51):
getting rained out here.
I can barely hear you overthere I know.
Hopefully the audio is gonna beokay it'll be fine, um, but yeah
, it was a pleasure to have youback on.
We'll do it again.
Another update and I think thatit's, you know, a lot of things
that you touched on will reallyplant a seed for other people
to understand like justdifferent ways, and it's always
fun to have the evolution.

(01:13:12):
I'll have to go back and listento our last podcast and see how
it's all changed up.

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
So thank you for being you I enjoyed it, yeah and
for joining me Very welcome.
Thank you for doing this lifewith me.
It's been fun, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:24):
No one else.
I would rather do life with umand identify as anyone else.