October 24, 2024 • 40 mins
Returning home from a serene yoga retreat in Italy only to face the turmoil of back-to-back hurricanes in Sarasota was not what I anticipated. Yet, navigating through this whirlwind of emotions taught me invaluable lessons in gratitude and resilience. During this episode of Krystel Clear, I recount the emotional journey of facing illness and natural disasters, and how grounding practices like cacao ceremonies and detox sessions offered solace amidst the chaos. Together, we explore the delicate balance between embracing life's unpredictability and finding peace in the simplest of things.
Discover how a missing salad became a metaphor for the pressure to remain strong, and the importance of allowing myself to feel. From infrared detox sessions to the pressures of an election year, we dive into the various ways of regulating our nervous systems and fostering a more positive political climate. Through personal anecdotes, I emphasize the necessity of emotional release and the role of self-care rituals in maintaining joy and physical health, even when faced with life's ups and downs.
Inspired by "The Four Agreements," I reflect on the significance of authenticity and staying true to myself. Compliments and criticisms alike can be compelling, yet true empowerment lies in self-belief and living authentically. This episode also chronicles my journey of coping with illness and celebrating community resilience during challenging times. To wrap up, I share a spontaneous soapbox venting session, promising future episodes filled with engaging topics and exciting guests. Join me on this episode as I open up about raw, real-life experiences and celebrate the beauty of collective resilience.
Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring my story and my guests. If something touched your heart please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up you guys?
Welcome to this episode ofCrystal Clear.
Holy shit, we've had a lot oflife going on lately and I
honestly don't even know whereto begin.
I think I'll begin with today,a real-life example of real life
(00:21):
.
So I'm super excited to filmtoday.
I booked like two hours, I hadall this stuff planned.
I took this beautiful yogaintuition retreat in Italy for
10 days, came home, got very ill, like sick, like
pneumonia-esque, and then we gothit with two hurricanes here in
(00:43):
Sarasota and it's just beenreally heavy, a lot of like
heavy energy.
And I think for me I was almostgrateful that I had a reason to
slow down during the hurricanes, or I probably would have
really like lost it.
But I mean, if you think aboutit, a community getting hit with
two hurricanes back to backyou're in survival mode.
(01:05):
Like, even if you're a superfearless person like you, when
your home is being threatened,when you're watching devastation
going on in your community, itreally hits close to home.
So today actually yesterday wasa full moon, so the full moon
in October.
Actually yesterday was a fullmoon, so the full moon in
(01:26):
October, beautiful moon.
I did this whole cacao ceremonyon releasing and sound bath and
all of this woo-woo stuff andwhich I love and kind of just
brings me back to my my centergrounded happy place.
Took a sunrise walk this morning, dropped my son off at school
and went for a detox at Purify,which is this awesome infrared
(01:47):
sauna blanket wrap place that wehave.
So you're legally on a bed, youwrap up in this infrared
blanket.
It's an awesome full body detox.
Jumped into the cold plunge,went home.
I was going to eat lunch andcome film my podcast and I
opened the refrigerator door andI had prepped two salads
yesterday and they weren't thereand I was like where's my salad
(02:09):
?
So I called my husband and I'mlike babe, did you take the
salads that were in the fridge?
He's like oh yeah, I'm sorry,hon, do you want me to bring one
home?
I only ate one of them.
I wasn't thinking and justfucking tears start streaming
down my face Like what is goingon.
So clearly my nervous system isnot quite regulated yet, or I'm
(02:35):
feeling this full moon energyand I just needed a good cry, or
maybe I just really set anexpectation to come home and eat
that salad.
I mean, there's a whole laundrylist of things packed into that
and I almost called and textedand canceled podcasting today.
But I'm like you know what Fuckit?
That is what this is all about.
(02:56):
It's about the real raw lifeadventures of it's okay to not
be okay all the time and eventhough I feel okay on the
outside which I genuinely do I'mfeeling much better.
I get my energy back.
I had this disgusting cough andit finally went away.
I felt pretty positive andenergized about everything.
Despite, you know, I've beenable to like shift a lot of the
(03:19):
things to gratitude because wewere very fortunate and didn't
lose a lot of the hurricane,although I'm doing disaster
relief grants for our companyand so looking at other people's
devastation daily it pulls onyour heartstrings and for an
empathetic person like myself,it's heavy.
So I really felt like I wasreally trying my best to cleanse
(03:41):
my energy and just staygrounded and despite all of that
, I still cried over a fuckingsalad, but that's okay.
So I'm here today to unravelthe past month because that's
how long it's been, I think,since I filmed a podcast and
just talk about what has gone onin life to lead up to this
(04:05):
point and to just own it,because I feel like that's a lot
of what this podcast is for meis my way to express and share
with you guys my real lifeexperiences, to make you feel
heard, seen, understood all thethings.
So I'll reel it in and back itup.
(04:26):
We'll start with the fluffystuff, the fun stuff.
So I was proposed with theopportunity to go to Italy.
My girlfriend and I met in Rome.
I had a couple of days bymyself.
Flew from Miami.
It was an awesome drive.
Had this great playlist,started working on my 40th
birthday playlist because, likemy whole 39 years worth of
(04:48):
favorite songs, it's going to befun.
So jammed out, danced the wholeway to Miami in my car, Flew to
Rome for Miami direct flightSuper easy, it was awesome.
Got there, stayed at the SixSenses Resort in Rome, which was
really cool, and I wasn't eventhinking about it when I booked
it at the time.
But the Sixth Sense wasintuition, which was really cool
(05:11):
because that was the intentionfor me to go to Italy in the
first place.
So I had like a day and a halfby myself.
So I feel like we're going togo through and I think a theme
of this one is going to just belike releasing expectations and
even though that's something Ifeel like I practice on a daily
(05:31):
basis, I think subconsciously Istill do it, which I think we
all can.
Um, so anyway, day spa day,walked around at night it was
raining, went to like the trevifountain, saw that by myself,
went to dinner by myself.
It was really great.
I found a cool little authenticspot for pasta which was so
delicious and I'm not really abig pasta person, but ate the
(05:51):
shit out of some pasta.
When I was in Italy, um, thenext day my plan was to get up
and work out and go shop aroundand see some things and scope
some stuff out for my girlfriend, because she was meeting me
there in the afternoon, didn'trealize it turned on service
that they put like the blackshades down in their room.
So I ended up sleeping until1.30 in the afternoon the
(06:15):
following day and I woke up andI was like God, that was like
the best sleep.
I was expecting for it to belike six o'clock in the morning.
Right, it was 1.30 in theafternoon and I was like, holy
shit, like I can sleep until1.30 in the afternoon, like I
don't have my kids here, I don'thave anything to do.
Really, I had like set in mymind what I wanted to do, but I
(06:37):
didn't really have anything todo.
So again, instead of being like, oh my God, I need to do this,
I need to do that, and I feellike old crystal or old thought
patterns would have kept me inthat I need to go work out and I
need to do this, and blah, blah, blah, no, I was just like, oh
my God, I am so grateful that Igot to sleep for over 12 hours.
(06:57):
It was amazing, so that wasmuch needed.
Met my girlfriend she isamazing and we had so much fun.
Like we hung out downstairs andmet our intuition coach and his
husband and just had somereally great, authentic
conversations and we walkedaround, went to dinner.
(07:21):
It was just a really greatnight.
I woke up the next day, ran theSpanish Steps about 10 times to
get a workout in and ran throughVilla Borghese, the garden.
I mean it was just a reallyawesome experience.
And then we got in a car andwent to our retreat, which was
on this beautiful farm, and Imean three home-cooked meals a
(07:42):
day.
We started every day with ameditation breakfast, a yoga
class, an intuition session, alunch.
A couple of days we went tosome really cool towns like
Civita and Oriveto, like littlecool mountain towns that you
wouldn't really see on yourtypical Italy itinerary, and it
(08:04):
was actually my first time everbeing there, so really loved
that like homey, especially thefood oh my God, the food was so
good but really loved theopportunity to have that more of
like in-depth culturalexperience and doing yoga twice
a day for five days.
I mean it was, it was justmagical, it was beautiful.
Doing yoga twice a day for fivedays, I mean it was just
(08:27):
magical, it was beautiful.
Got home, drove back from Miamiand it was really good.
I got home late on a Fridaynight and Saturday woke up, went
for a long walk with my hubs tocatch up on everything.
That's kind of like our datedays on the weekend is we just
go for long walks and just tryto catch up with some
intentional time together, andtook my son to the beach later
(08:51):
on and I started to feel kind ofachy.
I'm like, oh, it's probablyjust jet lag, no big deal.
The next day started feelinglike, oh, I'm like really tired.
So I'm like, oh, jet lag.
And then I had a few like fourdays.
Anyway, ended up being sick fora couple weeks, but during that
couple weeks we got hit withHurricane Helene, which was a
super devastating hurricane toour area.
(09:13):
The storm surge was just unreal.
It's like something we've neverreally seen before.
I have a girlfriend who'sactually been on my podcast,
Holly Scaranci, with Modern SoulBoutique on St Armand.
She had like three feet ofwater in her boutique, so it's a
total loss.
Like so many people,restaurants, boutiques, shops
and areas that really don'tflood were flooded.
(09:35):
Homes in areas that reallydon't flood were flooded.
So with my corporate job, bellsInc, we have have over 16,000
employees, over 600 stores, andwe provide disaster grant relief
assistance for those peoplepeople losing their total loss,
like their cars, the contents oftheir homes, and just seeing
(10:11):
the destructive damage.
And as grateful as you are thatit didn't happen to you directly
, when it's happening to peoplein your inner circle like that
or your community, it's a reallyheavy energy.
So I feel like it's been justvery heavy energy and not to
mention, like the following weekwe had Milton come about and I
really try to stay off of themedia and out of the news when
(10:34):
things like that come becauseit's like catastrophic, it's
going to smash Florida.
It just doesn't really help thesituation when you're trying to
regulate your nervous systemand prepare for something like
that.
It doesn't really help thesituation when you're trying to
regulate your nervous system andprepare for something like that
.
But just knowing and seeing thedebris and the devastation from
the one before and then goingthrough it again and wondering
like, is it really going to be acat five, is it going to be a
(10:54):
cat four?
It ended up being cat three andmy husband stayed home and I
took the kids to like hunkerdown at a safe fortress place,
and you know.
So just preparing for all ofthat really puts you in, and not
just me, not just my husband,not just my family, but an
entire community and state, evenin fight or flight.
(11:15):
Like you're like, do we stay,do we go or freeze?
Do we freeze Like no-transcript, the people that are helping in
(11:55):
the community, that feelhelpless, the people that, like
you know, we lost a place at atrampoline.
It's like I don't even want totell people we lost a place in a
trampoline because it doesn'tseem like like much at all
compared to other people.
So it's like almostembarrassing to say I don't want
to say anything, but it's justheavy.
I don't know how else todescribe it.
(12:17):
It's like the collectiveconsciousness is just in this
state of trauma response and Ithink, now that they're over for
now, hopefully knocking on thetable.
If you believe in the wholeknock on wood suspicion,
hopefully we're done for alittle while.
(12:38):
But either way, it's going totake a lot of time, love and
intention to rebuild ourcommunity.
Community and not even just ourcommunity, I mean.
It hit places like my cousinwho lives in Georgia was super
worried about us the whole timefor the growth hurricanes and
one of them ended up like wipingout her entire little town of
Augusta, georgia.
So it's really crazy, likeNorth Carolina just seeing all
of this and it really it hasallowed me to reel it in to the
(13:07):
universe, god source, whateverit is you want to believe in.
I feel like it is giving usopportunity to continuously A
surrender, b detach, so you loseyour entire house.
There's a bunch of stuff inthere.
There's a lot of stuff that'sirreplaceable.
It's like you know I think youknow, when I'm running out the
(13:29):
door to take my kids to hunkerdown like what am I grabbing?
What am I taking with me?
Like I grabbed a photo of mydad that's not digital, that
can't be replaced.
And same with my Nana I grabbeda photo of her that's not
digital, it can't be replaced.
And our passports and birthcertificates even though those
can be replaced, they're justpain in the ass to replace.
So, like, those are the thingsI grabbed, and my kids, and some
(13:51):
snacks and some blankets and,in the scheme of things, like
what?
Like that's that's the questionI want you to like step back
and answer Like, what would yougrab?
Because I feel like the thingsthat I need most in my life are
not anything that you could grabother than my family.
Obviously, it's just it'shaving that value and having
(14:15):
that purpose and all the otherstuff can be replaced.
So I think it's been a greatopportunity for me to continue
to practice detachment, likehealthy detachment and not
getting caught up in thebullshit of the stuff in your
life, and honestly, it's reallymade me want to minimize life a
(14:36):
lot and declutter my home andjust get rid of a lot of stuff
that we don't need.
And this is a great time to dothat because we can donate a ton
of it to people that don't haveanything because of what they
lost.
So I think it's really one ofthose great pay forward
opportunities, but it's just, atthe same time, it's exhausting,
know, pulling all of the wetdebris out of my house and
(15:09):
starting fresh.
So if I'm feeling this way, Ican imagine how others are
feeling.
So if you are one of thosepeople that have been going
through this whether it's, youknow, watching it and worrying
about your loved ones from afar,or being in the thick of it and
losing your businesses, yourhomes, you know.
I hope that you are givingyourself permission to feel the
(15:31):
feels, because that's one thingtoday I don't think I was quite
prepared for.
But again, it was a greatreminder for me to allow myself
to feel my feelings, because Ihaven't really cried through all
of this because I've, you know,I've been tough.
It's like what do I have to cryabout?
These other people are losingtheir stuff.
(15:51):
So like I cried over a fuckingsalad because I just set dead,
set my again like don't put anexpectation on going home and
have this, this great salad.
But I did that because I waslike oh, I already prepped it.
My poor husband.
He's like I'm so sorry, I loveyou.
I wasn't thinking and I'm likeit wasn't his fault.
He just wanted some lunch too,so it wasn't anyone's fault or
(16:15):
anything.
It was just a fact.
That.
And two, something that'seye-opening, because I did go
and do like this 55-minute detoxin this infrared blanket which
is amazing and then did a coldplunge.
So one thing that I do knowfrom my trauma healing and
different modalities that I'vetried is, if your nervous system
(16:37):
is dysregulated, things likethat can make it worse.
So I stayed in the cold plungefor four minutes.
I got below my vagus nerve, butI did feel like when I was
starting to get my lungs under,I started doing the breathing,
so I really focused on my breath.
There's a mirror like in frontof me, so I feel like looking of
blindsided by the crying of thesalad thing.
(16:57):
But it wasn't just the salad,it's.
There was a full moon yesterday.
So we're still in that fullmoon energy of Aries, moon
(17:18):
release.
It's all about releasing rightnow.
So I think I just really neededto cry, I really need to get it
out, and I think that so many ofus right now are going through
a time period.
I mean, it's the beginning oftime.
Humans, this is what we do.
We work through it, right, wedo, we schedule things, and I
know for a fact I have beenworking through rather than
(17:40):
taking time to stop and feel,and I just wanted to give myself
and everyone else permission todo that Stop and feel.
It's not going to be, there'snever going to be an opportune
time, and maybe there is.
You know, I've been going on mywalks, I've been trying to
regulate and thank goodness I'vebeen trying to do that, because
(18:01):
I probably would have flippedmy shit on someone a long time
ago if I hadn't.
But it's just really beeneyeopening, because you can be
on this journey and you justnever know what's going to
happen to flip everything upsidedown at once.
So it's continuous.
We say all the time, healing isnot linear, it's the ups and
downs and all arounds, and it'sjust one of those important
(18:26):
reminders.
It's been a really importantreminder for me to allow myself
to feel, because I know like Ieven broke down in between
hurricanes.
The week in between hurricanesI took my son to Disney and we
had so much fun and I know forme I just wanted to escape.
Like my escape now is not likegoing and having drinks or
anything like that, it's likeit's doing things fun, things
(18:49):
Like I want to have joyousmoments and so I just, like my
husband, took the boys the olderboys to a football game, so I
just we checked into thecontemporary resort and went to
Disney and we had so much funfor 24 hours, just he and I, and
we just had a blast and I thinkwe both really needed that.
(19:10):
But that too was exhaustingbecause I was still kind of
coming over the effects of thebronchitis and pneumonia and
stuff like that and I wasn'tfeverish or anything so
energetically.
I felt great but still had aweird cough, but it was almost
like I was going stir crazy justbeing at home with all of the
other collective.
It's like one of thosesituations that really I feel
(19:32):
like really if you're sensitiveto it, you can feel the
collective consciousness right,and not to mention, it's an
election year, so everyone'sgetting political, and I hate
politics.
I'm not gonna lie, like I can'tstand it, since I was a very
young girl never understood whydoes it have to be one opinion
(19:54):
or the other, like why does ithave to be so separate, or why
are they right and you're wrong?
And I think it's all bullshit,to be honest.
So I'm not going to lie, I hopesomething comes through and
like nothing like devastatingplease.
But I'm not gonna lie.
I hope something comes throughand like nothing like
devastating please.
But I feel like our systemneeds a little shake up.
I feel like we need somecollective consciousness to come
(20:16):
in and uplift our society in apositive way and really kind of
break down this system.
That's outdated and just Idon't feel like it works, to be
honest.
So that's freaking people out,like even knowing that there's
an election coming up and stufflike that, I just really tried
not to participate in all ofthat.
(20:36):
So that's my two cents andprobably all you'll really hear
from me.
On politics, um, I do think thatthere's a lot of things that
are necessary to have.
You, you know, some formalityand so we're not just running
around feral and buck wild andall of that.
But I just wish that there wasmore positivity and uplifting
and empowerment involved in itand less negativity and bias and
(20:58):
talking down and whatever.
Like just talk about what greatthings you're going to do and
do them, and not talk negativelyabout all the other people.
So anyway, um, that's my hitbox on that.
Just talk about what greatthings you're going to do and do
them, and not talk negativelyabout all the other people.
So, anyway, that's my hit boxon that.
But it's definitely affectingsociety and the economy and so
it's just I think I'm mentallypreparing and trying to
(21:19):
physically prepare.
I haven't worked out in like amonth.
Actually, wednesday I workedout for the first in a month,
other than long walks Like Ilove my long walks and yoga but
I haven't done any strengthtraining in like a month and it
actually felt really good totake a break.
I think my body needed that.
I think I felt like I like hadsome inflammation going on.
I don't know if it was fromtravel and being sick and
(21:40):
probably a combination of all ofthe above, but I knew like,
going through this stressfultime, it's really important to
allow my cortisol levels tosettle.
So high intensity workoutsduring a time of stress is no
bueno for me, like it's not,doesn't work.
It's something I used to doquite often but something I've
learned that my body does notlike.
(22:01):
So I really try to honor that.
So walks in nature and theweather's been beautiful the
past few days, so really justtaking advantage of being out in
nature, connecting with nature,putting my feet in the grass,
listening to the birds, taking awalk, doing some stretches,
trying to keep my body open andin line, because it just, it
(22:22):
just feels like rigid, almostlike there's a rigid energy in
the air, and, um, trying my bestto navigate that and
communicate.
Like I reached out to myhusband and I'm like I'm sorry I
cried over his salad.
He's like babe, it's okay, I'mjust here to support you and he
(22:43):
didn't take it personally.
Thank goodness, because heknows I mean, it's nothing he
really did.
He didn't take it personally,thank goodness, because he knows
it's nothing he really did.
He didn't mean to take twosalads.
It's silly, it's something thatI would have never cared about
on a different day.
But I think I'm just to thatpoint and my nervous system
probably got a littledysregulated from the cold
plunge on top of, you know, allthe other craziness going on in
(23:04):
the world.
I don't regret doing it.
I think it was very necessary todo, but it was just one of
those things that shed somelight on some things that I
think I needed to shed light on.
And we did this cacao ceremonyyesterday for the full moon.
So with my YPO group.
We did a cacao ceremony, somenonlinear movement, blindfolded,
(23:24):
which was really great.
We did some meditation, soundbath and some journaling, and it
was all really impactful and atthe time I found myself like,
oh, I'm good, like this feels,good, this is.
I don't really have a lot torelease, like yes, the hell you
do.
Like who are you kidding?
I think I've just been kind ofgoing through the motion so much
(23:44):
that I've almost felt selfishto say, hey, I need a minute to
release or feel whatever I'mfeeling, because there's so many
other people going throughthings and have, you know,
different circumstances that Ido.
I think part of that.
I think that's where thatsurvivor guilt comes in.
(24:04):
And you know we all have mirrorneurons.
So when we're watchingdevastation and people losing
things and you've sort of kindof feel for other people and
selfishly, I think it's like wow, like all the beautiful spots
that I love, like they're notthere anymore and even though
(24:25):
they're not mine, they're a partof our life and a part of our
community, and so it's justallowing yourself to feel that,
grieve it but then move on fromit.
So I think it's important to notstay stuck there.
So there's a difference andthat's something that obviously
overcoming the PTSD was a bigleap in my healing journey is
(24:47):
just not staying stuck there.
So, whatever solid situationhappened, I had a good cry.
I felt so much better.
I'm here now.
I'm talking to you guys inhopes that you can probably
especially if you're in our arearelate to some of that.
That and I'm really excited.
Also, another big thing that Ithink is kind of festering
(25:11):
inside me, for lack of a betterword.
So my husband was very sweetand he's like we need to do more
with your podcast, like youhave so much great things to put
out there.
So we've invested in someonedoing more of my social media
and stuff.
So it's on TikTok and YouTubeand all over the place now.
So I think that the underlyingenergy behind that because the
(25:37):
story I've been telling myselfis that I want to be heard and
not seen and blah, blah, blah,blah.
So and that was great for achapter, but I think think it's
time.
I think that I mean I know thatwhen I see people, I relate to
them more, so but just theenergy behind that, like it's
been this has been happening forlike all of 48 hours and one of
(25:57):
the videos has like 70something thousand views.
I'm like holy shit, like and Idon't really know what to
compare it to, cause I don'treally pay attention to stats
like that on social media, butit's out there.
So I've found myself like, if Iread the comments like, for
example, the video that's goingcrazy is about um I stopped
trying to fix my husband and howhe deserves to be loved for who
(26:23):
he is and what he is, and Ideserve that too, which for me,
um, is unconditional love.
Right, it's like not loving himconditionally, like if you
change this, I'll love you more,if I change this, you'll love
me more.
Like, no, it's like justaccepting him, trusting that
he's doing his part in hisjourney, trusting that we're
doing our part together.
(26:44):
Reading the comments, it's likesome of these people, I'm like,
oh my God, that is not, that isnot what I said at all.
Like, not what I said at all,sister, like you are totally
getting that wrong and it justmakes you realize that not
everyone has your lens andthat's okay, that what people
(27:04):
project, especially online,hiding behind the computer and
the phone or whatever they're on, is a projection of their inner
network, not yours.
And so I found myself justwanting to like counsel, like
four of these people that arelike, well, what if he's doing
this and what if he's doing that?
And I'm like, okay, well, Ifeel like there needs to be a
(27:25):
whole other.
I'm like just listen to thefull podcast and you'll get the
big picture right.
That's what these little reelsare for.
So it's been interesting andit's been a growth opportunity
for me to a go back to a bookthat I love, which is the four
agreements, and not take thingspersonally good or bad.
So if someone's complimentingyou or really going on like, oh,
(27:51):
you did this and this is sowonderful, but don't take that
to heart, because what is that?
It's not even taking it toheart.
It's feeding your ego, right?
So it's like our false sense ofself loves the compliments and
our false sense of self getsannoyed with the negative
comments.
So it's been a really greatreminder again to really go
(28:14):
inward and remember the purposeof doing this, which is exactly
why I came in today to film.
It's like I'm not filling upfor it.
It's like, well, you're notfilling up for what Going and
talking about what's been goingon.
Yes, you are.
This is the whole point of allof this.
This is the reason you're doingit in the first place.
So it's been a really greatgrowth opportunity and reminder
(28:35):
and it just makes me supergrateful that I'm in a place to,
even if I'm crying over a salad, to take a step back and be
like dude, it's okay, likeeveryone has their moments.
It's okay to not be okay allthe time, and I'm going to say
that again.
It's okay to not be okay allthe time and it's important to
(28:57):
give yourself permission forthat and that's something that
you know.
I also realized and I waswatching a few videos now that
I'm a TikToker.
I'm not really on there much,but I was just curious to see
what the videos were doing.
I watched one and someone wastalking about affirmations and
how affirmations are bullshit,which, as you've heard me talk
(29:21):
about affirmations on my podcasta lot, but I really loved the
perspective, becauseaffirmations are bullshit if you
don't truly believe it.
So if you're lying to yourselfand saying, oh, I'm an honest
person, but you're not tellingthe whole truth in relationships
or to yourself even, ordifferent examples of I don't
(29:44):
know.
I just think it's reallyinteresting and it really made
me think like, yes, affirmations.
I feel like they've reallyhelped me, but what I realize is
I'm telling myself things thatI truly believe about myself,
like I'm worthy and I deservelove and I deserve respect, and
those are things that I feellike everyone is worthy, I feel
(30:05):
like everyone deserves love, Ifeel like everyone deserves
respect.
So it just it's interesting andit really puts things in
context, because people do takethat and run with it and it can
be you not being completelyhonest with yourself and if
you're not living up to I don'twant to say standard, because I
(30:27):
don't like that word If you'renot living a certain way and
you're contradicting yourself,only you really know that, like
if you're putting it out there.
That's one thing I mean andit's it's just really important
to go back to what.
What is your purpose, what isyour intention for doing the
(30:50):
things you're doing?
And I I've realized more sinceI've been doing all of this that
there's a lot of it out there.
There's a lot of people talkingmental health.
There's a lot of people, youknow, on their own journeys, and
I respect that and I.
But what I gravitate towardsare the people talking about
real life stuff and real lifeexamples, and that's what I like
(31:10):
to continue to bring to youguys and I just wanted to jump
on today to talk about a littlebit of this because I think it's
just really important for me tostay level and to be true to
myself and to fulfill my purposeof sharing.
It is just to get on and talkabout some real, live, raw shit.
(31:33):
Sometimes and it's not alwaysgoing to be about healing
Sometimes it's going to be aboutcoping.
Like how are we coping?
Like I, literally, when I wassick and my kids were home for
two weeks, I was taking thiscrazy cough syrup at night that
had codeine in it.
It was helping me sleep and Iwas waking up and drinking
coffee.
And what have I said severaltimes?
Like I don't really drinkcoffee and caffeine it makes me
(31:54):
feel blah.
Well, guess what?
It helped me survive for acouple of weeks.
But I feel like now, in theplace that I'm in, that things
are kind of leveling out.
The weather's been beautiful.
I'm going to shift that dumpthe coffee for a little while
because I feel like my nervoussystem needs a little bit more
regulation from the inside out.
Like I may appear okay on theoutside, but I know for a fact,
(32:15):
on the inside, I'm still healingphysically, emotionally,
mentally and I am excited.
It's really giving me theopportunity to reset and be
excited about this new chapter,which is really all about
empowerment, accountability, andI think this all meant to
(32:39):
happen.
It's been devastating, it'sbeen crazy and chaotic, but if
you're surrendering to the flowlike I talk about, I'm
surrendering to like, hey, thisis what's happened, I'm not
going to resist it, I'm going toroll with it and I'm really
excited to have some new guestson that really have some unique
perspectives about this andthey're willing to share their
(32:59):
real life experience and we'rereally just as a society.
I feel like coming together in abeautiful way and that's one of
the great things about having asituation like we've had
recently is watching thecommunity come together, and I
talked to a girlfriend yesterdayand she and her son two sons
(33:21):
went around their neighborhoodand cleaned up people's yards.
That will never know they didit.
You know they knew a certaincouple was out of town or they
realized it after the fact, butthey had picked up all the palm
fronds and things out of theiryard and it's like how nice is
that to come home and be like,wow, perfect strangers cleaned
up my house because I had toevacuate and oh, before I forget
(33:43):
, that's one thing I want totouch on.
So we had a lot of peoplereaching out.
Obviously, when you see a catfive hurricane coming towards a
community, a lot of people comeout of the woodwork to check on
you, which I really greatlyappreciate.
Thank you all for reaching out.
However, there are certainpeople that have opinions about
(34:04):
what you should be doing andwhere you should be going and
why you should be doing it, andyou know what Mind your freaking
business is all I have to sayabout that.
Like, love you, I appreciateyou, but it is not up to other
people to decide for people whatto do.
Like, allow people in theirmoments to decide what to do
with their lives.
(34:25):
My husband and I made thedecision for him to stay home
and for me to take the kids toour hunker down spot where I
knew there would be Wi-Fi.
I knew there would be agenerator.
We actually got a generator,like a year and a half ago, at
our home and it rusted from theinside out, so there was no
guaranteed power, and one sideof our house is hurricane proof,
the other side's not, and withthe kids at home, we just wanted
(34:46):
peace of mind.
So we made that decision and wehad some people chime in on it
and feel like we should be doingotherwise, and it's like it's
not really up for you to decideand we appreciate you,
appreciate your own helplessnessin it all and I know that
feeling.
It's like I've had to hold backon being like, oh wow, you guys
(35:11):
should do this or you guysshould do that.
But the bottom line is we werenot in an evacuation zone at all
.
We have a very strong andsturdy house with a brand new
roof.
It is really important to allowthe people who need to leave to
have the available resources,time, space on the roads to
(35:32):
evacuate if that's what theyneed.
Like I said, we had twoback-to-back hurricanes.
There were people that didn'teven have homes or cars to
evacuate in, so we don't need tobe taking up their gas and
their space and their resourcesand supplies when we have a safe
place.
So just trust your friends,trust your family members and
(35:52):
trust that people are able tomake decisions for themselves
and just let's just respect thatand have some courtesy for our
peers and families and friends.
Let's just love and trust andin a situation like we've had
going on, what really helps meand I honestly kind of find
(36:15):
peace in the storm in a reallyodd way, I don't know Ever since
I was a little girl like ifthere's like a crazy
thunderstorm or something goingon, I try not to get fearful and
I try to really connect with itand it's like you know, mother
Nature is really powerful.
So I feel like the more I canrespect the process while it's
happening, the more peace I willhave in my heart.
Now are there moments where Igot scared.
Yes, I mean, we had six hoursof insane winds.
(36:39):
It was like the second half wasway worse than the first half
and there were parts that weredefinitely scary.
But did I go into it with afearful mindset of like fight or
flight?
No, and it was interestingbecause in 2017, I think it was
the year we got married, I thinkit was 2017 or 18, one of those
, the year we got married,hurricane Irma came through and
(37:02):
it was a very similar situationand we lived on the water at the
time and I remember boardingthe house up and going to hunker
down with the whole family.
I remember taking like a giantYeti full of wine and bottles of
water, and the kids were thereon walkie-talkies running around
and you know, I knew we wouldhave, we knew we would be safe
and we were fine.
But I remember of deep innerwork to not just be sparked
(37:23):
instantly into those fight orflight situations.
Or maybe I'm just accustomed tohurricanes by now and you know,
as a Floridian, your entirelife.
(37:44):
It's just, you know, it's allpart of it.
We don't really intend onleaving.
Our businesses are here, Ourhome is here.
It would be nice to have like asecond home somewhere else, and
that'll be a conversation fordown the road, but it's just
really heightened that sense ofjust respect other people's
(38:04):
decisions, for what they decide.
I think that's really importantbecause I know I've in the past
projected my feelings and myfears onto other people and
that's just not fair becausethat's one more thing they have
to worry about, like why.
You know it's not up to me tomake someone feel guilty for not
leaving their home, or thatthey did leave their home or
(38:26):
that they should leave.
You know it's not, it's ashoulda, woulda, couldas, right,
let's not.
Should people, let's not, couldpeople, let's.
Let's just mind our business,although again appreciate the
thought, concern all the things.
Let's see, I don't know.
There's just so much to unraveland unpack right now.
(38:49):
I think I'll probably concludeit for today with I am just so
grateful, like very grateful,for the opportunities that I've
had to reflect on inner stuff,outside stuff, other people, our
community, our community.
(39:18):
It's just really put a lot inperspective and I think, instead
of having like um, oh my gosh,why did this happen to us?
Kind of mindset, it's more of aI'm grateful that we've all had
an opportunity to remindourselves of what's truly
important and what reallymatters in our life and it gives
you an extra layer of gratitudefor the small things in life
(39:38):
and the small little necessities, like having power and fresh
food and gas in your car.
And it really takes it back tothe basics and just overall
gives me an extra layer ofcompassion and sympathy and
empathy and love for otherpeople, because it's not easy
(40:02):
and facing things like this isnot easy at all.
Gratitude and appreciation andnot live in the fear or the why
did this happen to me?
Kind of situation.
I think that we really increaseand intensify that high
(40:24):
vibration, energy of love andlight and compassion.
So that's what I'm going toleave you guys with today.
So that's what I'm going toleave you guys with today.
Thanks for the soapbox venting.
I covered a lot of randomthings in 40 minutes, but it was
a pleasure to jump on.
I'm looking forward to havingsome fun guests on and I will
(40:46):
see you guys later.
Peace out.
What's up you guys?
Welcome to this episode ofCrystal Clear.
Holy shit, we've had a lot oflife going on lately and I
honestly don't even know whereto begin.
I think I'll begin with today,a real-life example of real life
(00:21):
.
So I'm super excited to filmtoday.
I booked like two hours, I hadall this stuff planned.
I took this beautiful yogaintuition retreat in Italy for
10 days, came home, got very ill, like sick, like
pneumonia-esque, and then we gothit with two hurricanes here in
(00:43):
Sarasota and it's just beenreally heavy, a lot of like
heavy energy.
And I think for me I was almostgrateful that I had a reason to
slow down during the hurricanes, or I probably would have
really like lost it.
But I mean, if you think aboutit, a community getting hit with
two hurricanes back to backyou're in survival mode.
(01:05):
Like, even if you're a superfearless person like you, when
your home is being threatened,when you're watching devastation
going on in your community, itreally hits close to home.
So today actually yesterday wasa full moon, so the full moon
in October.
Actually yesterday was a fullmoon, so the full moon in
(01:26):
October, beautiful moon.
I did this whole cacao ceremonyon releasing and sound bath and
all of this woo-woo stuff andwhich I love and kind of just
brings me back to my my centergrounded happy place.
Took a sunrise walk this morning, dropped my son off at school
and went for a detox at Purify,which is this awesome infrared
(01:47):
sauna blanket wrap place that wehave.
So you're legally on a bed, youwrap up in this infrared
blanket.
It's an awesome full body detox.
Jumped into the cold plunge,went home.
I was going to eat lunch andcome film my podcast and I
opened the refrigerator door andI had prepped two salads
yesterday and they weren't thereand I was like where's my salad
(02:09):
?
So I called my husband and I'mlike babe, did you take the
salads that were in the fridge?
He's like oh yeah, I'm sorry,hon, do you want me to bring one
home?
I only ate one of them.
I wasn't thinking and justfucking tears start streaming
down my face Like what is goingon.
So clearly my nervous system isnot quite regulated yet, or I'm
(02:35):
feeling this full moon energyand I just needed a good cry, or
maybe I just really set anexpectation to come home and eat
that salad.
I mean, there's a whole laundrylist of things packed into that
and I almost called and textedand canceled podcasting today.
But I'm like you know what Fuckit?
That is what this is all about.
(02:56):
It's about the real raw lifeadventures of it's okay to not
be okay all the time and eventhough I feel okay on the
outside which I genuinely do I'mfeeling much better.
I get my energy back.
I had this disgusting cough andit finally went away.
I felt pretty positive andenergized about everything.
Despite, you know, I've beenable to like shift a lot of the
(03:19):
things to gratitude because wewere very fortunate and didn't
lose a lot of the hurricane,although I'm doing disaster
relief grants for our companyand so looking at other people's
devastation daily it pulls onyour heartstrings and for an
empathetic person like myself,it's heavy.
So I really felt like I wasreally trying my best to cleanse
(03:41):
my energy and just staygrounded and despite all of that
, I still cried over a fuckingsalad, but that's okay.
So I'm here today to unravelthe past month because that's
how long it's been, I think,since I filmed a podcast and
just talk about what has gone onin life to lead up to this
(04:05):
point and to just own it,because I feel like that's a lot
of what this podcast is for meis my way to express and share
with you guys my real lifeexperiences, to make you feel
heard, seen, understood all thethings.
So I'll reel it in and back itup.
(04:26):
We'll start with the fluffystuff, the fun stuff.
So I was proposed with theopportunity to go to Italy.
My girlfriend and I met in Rome.
I had a couple of days bymyself.
Flew from Miami.
It was an awesome drive.
Had this great playlist,started working on my 40th
birthday playlist because, likemy whole 39 years worth of
(04:48):
favorite songs, it's going to befun.
So jammed out, danced the wholeway to Miami in my car, Flew to
Rome for Miami direct flightSuper easy, it was awesome.
Got there, stayed at the SixSenses Resort in Rome, which was
really cool, and I wasn't eventhinking about it when I booked
it at the time.
But the Sixth Sense wasintuition, which was really cool
(05:11):
because that was the intentionfor me to go to Italy in the
first place.
So I had like a day and a halfby myself.
So I feel like we're going togo through and I think a theme
of this one is going to just belike releasing expectations and
even though that's something Ifeel like I practice on a daily
(05:31):
basis, I think subconsciously Istill do it, which I think we
all can.
Um, so anyway, day spa day,walked around at night it was
raining, went to like the trevifountain, saw that by myself,
went to dinner by myself.
It was really great.
I found a cool little authenticspot for pasta which was so
delicious and I'm not really abig pasta person, but ate the
(05:51):
shit out of some pasta.
When I was in Italy, um, thenext day my plan was to get up
and work out and go shop aroundand see some things and scope
some stuff out for my girlfriend, because she was meeting me
there in the afternoon, didn'trealize it turned on service
that they put like the blackshades down in their room.
So I ended up sleeping until1.30 in the afternoon the
(06:15):
following day and I woke up andI was like God, that was like
the best sleep.
I was expecting for it to belike six o'clock in the morning.
Right, it was 1.30 in theafternoon and I was like, holy
shit, like I can sleep until1.30 in the afternoon, like I
don't have my kids here, I don'thave anything to do.
Really, I had like set in mymind what I wanted to do, but I
(06:37):
didn't really have anything todo.
So again, instead of being like, oh my God, I need to do this,
I need to do that, and I feellike old crystal or old thought
patterns would have kept me inthat I need to go work out and I
need to do this, and blah, blah, blah, no, I was just like, oh
my God, I am so grateful that Igot to sleep for over 12 hours.
(06:57):
It was amazing, so that wasmuch needed.
Met my girlfriend she isamazing and we had so much fun.
Like we hung out downstairs andmet our intuition coach and his
husband and just had somereally great, authentic
conversations and we walkedaround, went to dinner.
(07:21):
It was just a really greatnight.
I woke up the next day, ran theSpanish Steps about 10 times to
get a workout in and ran throughVilla Borghese, the garden.
I mean it was just a reallyawesome experience.
And then we got in a car andwent to our retreat, which was
on this beautiful farm, and Imean three home-cooked meals a
(07:42):
day.
We started every day with ameditation breakfast, a yoga
class, an intuition session, alunch.
A couple of days we went tosome really cool towns like
Civita and Oriveto, like littlecool mountain towns that you
wouldn't really see on yourtypical Italy itinerary, and it
(08:04):
was actually my first time everbeing there, so really loved
that like homey, especially thefood oh my God, the food was so
good but really loved theopportunity to have that more of
like in-depth culturalexperience and doing yoga twice
a day for five days.
I mean it was, it was justmagical, it was beautiful.
Doing yoga twice a day for fivedays, I mean it was just
(08:27):
magical, it was beautiful.
Got home, drove back from Miamiand it was really good.
I got home late on a Fridaynight and Saturday woke up, went
for a long walk with my hubs tocatch up on everything.
That's kind of like our datedays on the weekend is we just
go for long walks and just tryto catch up with some
intentional time together, andtook my son to the beach later
(08:51):
on and I started to feel kind ofachy.
I'm like, oh, it's probablyjust jet lag, no big deal.
The next day started feelinglike, oh, I'm like really tired.
So I'm like, oh, jet lag.
And then I had a few like fourdays.
Anyway, ended up being sick fora couple weeks, but during that
couple weeks we got hit withHurricane Helene, which was a
super devastating hurricane toour area.
(09:13):
The storm surge was just unreal.
It's like something we've neverreally seen before.
I have a girlfriend who'sactually been on my podcast,
Holly Scaranci, with Modern SoulBoutique on St Armand.
She had like three feet ofwater in her boutique, so it's a
total loss.
Like so many people,restaurants, boutiques, shops
and areas that really don'tflood were flooded.
(09:35):
Homes in areas that reallydon't flood were flooded.
So with my corporate job, bellsInc, we have have over 16,000
employees, over 600 stores, andwe provide disaster grant relief
assistance for those peoplepeople losing their total loss,
like their cars, the contents oftheir homes, and just seeing
(10:11):
the destructive damage.
And as grateful as you are thatit didn't happen to you directly
, when it's happening to peoplein your inner circle like that
or your community, it's a reallyheavy energy.
So I feel like it's been justvery heavy energy and not to
mention, like the following weekwe had Milton come about and I
really try to stay off of themedia and out of the news when
(10:34):
things like that come becauseit's like catastrophic, it's
going to smash Florida.
It just doesn't really help thesituation when you're trying to
regulate your nervous systemand prepare for something like
that.
It doesn't really help thesituation when you're trying to
regulate your nervous system andprepare for something like that
.
But just knowing and seeing thedebris and the devastation from
the one before and then goingthrough it again and wondering
like, is it really going to be acat five, is it going to be a
(10:54):
cat four?
It ended up being cat three andmy husband stayed home and I
took the kids to like hunkerdown at a safe fortress place,
and you know.
So just preparing for all ofthat really puts you in, and not
just me, not just my husband,not just my family, but an
entire community and state, evenin fight or flight.
(11:15):
Like you're like, do we stay,do we go or freeze?
Do we freeze Like no-transcript, the people that are helping in
(11:55):
the community, that feelhelpless, the people that, like
you know, we lost a place at atrampoline.
It's like I don't even want totell people we lost a place in a
trampoline because it doesn'tseem like like much at all
compared to other people.
So it's like almostembarrassing to say I don't want
to say anything, but it's justheavy.
I don't know how else todescribe it.
(12:17):
It's like the collectiveconsciousness is just in this
state of trauma response and Ithink, now that they're over for
now, hopefully knocking on thetable.
If you believe in the wholeknock on wood suspicion,
hopefully we're done for alittle while.
(12:38):
But either way, it's going totake a lot of time, love and
intention to rebuild ourcommunity.
Community and not even just ourcommunity, I mean.
It hit places like my cousinwho lives in Georgia was super
worried about us the whole timefor the growth hurricanes and
one of them ended up like wipingout her entire little town of
Augusta, georgia.
So it's really crazy, likeNorth Carolina just seeing all
of this and it really it hasallowed me to reel it in to the
(13:07):
universe, god source, whateverit is you want to believe in.
I feel like it is giving usopportunity to continuously A
surrender, b detach, so you loseyour entire house.
There's a bunch of stuff inthere.
There's a lot of stuff that'sirreplaceable.
It's like you know I think youknow, when I'm running out the
(13:29):
door to take my kids to hunkerdown like what am I grabbing?
What am I taking with me?
Like I grabbed a photo of mydad that's not digital, that
can't be replaced.
And same with my Nana I grabbeda photo of her that's not
digital, it can't be replaced.
And our passports and birthcertificates even though those
can be replaced, they're justpain in the ass to replace.
So, like, those are the thingsI grabbed, and my kids, and some
(13:51):
snacks and some blankets and,in the scheme of things, like
what?
Like that's that's the questionI want you to like step back
and answer Like, what would yougrab?
Because I feel like the thingsthat I need most in my life are
not anything that you could grabother than my family.
Obviously, it's just it'shaving that value and having
(14:15):
that purpose and all the otherstuff can be replaced.
So I think it's been a greatopportunity for me to continue
to practice detachment, likehealthy detachment and not
getting caught up in thebullshit of the stuff in your
life, and honestly, it's reallymade me want to minimize life a
(14:36):
lot and declutter my home andjust get rid of a lot of stuff
that we don't need.
And this is a great time to dothat because we can donate a ton
of it to people that don't haveanything because of what they
lost.
So I think it's really one ofthose great pay forward
opportunities, but it's just, atthe same time, it's exhausting,
know, pulling all of the wetdebris out of my house and
(15:09):
starting fresh.
So if I'm feeling this way, Ican imagine how others are
feeling.
So if you are one of thosepeople that have been going
through this whether it's, youknow, watching it and worrying
about your loved ones from afar,or being in the thick of it and
losing your businesses, yourhomes, you know.
I hope that you are givingyourself permission to feel the
(15:31):
feels, because that's one thingtoday I don't think I was quite
prepared for.
But again, it was a greatreminder for me to allow myself
to feel my feelings, because Ihaven't really cried through all
of this because I've, you know,I've been tough.
It's like what do I have to cryabout?
These other people are losingtheir stuff.
(15:51):
So like I cried over a fuckingsalad because I just set dead,
set my again like don't put anexpectation on going home and
have this, this great salad.
But I did that because I waslike oh, I already prepped it.
My poor husband.
He's like I'm so sorry, I loveyou.
I wasn't thinking and I'm likeit wasn't his fault.
He just wanted some lunch too,so it wasn't anyone's fault or
(16:15):
anything.
It was just a fact.
That.
And two, something that'seye-opening, because I did go
and do like this 55-minute detoxin this infrared blanket which
is amazing and then did a coldplunge.
So one thing that I do knowfrom my trauma healing and
different modalities that I'vetried is, if your nervous system
(16:37):
is dysregulated, things likethat can make it worse.
So I stayed in the cold plungefor four minutes.
I got below my vagus nerve, butI did feel like when I was
starting to get my lungs under,I started doing the breathing,
so I really focused on my breath.
There's a mirror like in frontof me, so I feel like looking of
blindsided by the crying of thesalad thing.
(16:57):
But it wasn't just the salad,it's.
There was a full moon yesterday.
So we're still in that fullmoon energy of Aries, moon
(17:18):
release.
It's all about releasing rightnow.
So I think I just really neededto cry, I really need to get it
out, and I think that so many ofus right now are going through
a time period.
I mean, it's the beginning oftime.
Humans, this is what we do.
We work through it, right, wedo, we schedule things, and I
know for a fact I have beenworking through rather than
(17:40):
taking time to stop and feel,and I just wanted to give myself
and everyone else permission todo that Stop and feel.
It's not going to be, there'snever going to be an opportune
time, and maybe there is.
You know, I've been going on mywalks, I've been trying to
regulate and thank goodness I'vebeen trying to do that, because
(18:01):
I probably would have flippedmy shit on someone a long time
ago if I hadn't.
But it's just really beeneyeopening, because you can be
on this journey and you justnever know what's going to
happen to flip everything upsidedown at once.
So it's continuous.
We say all the time, healing isnot linear, it's the ups and
downs and all arounds, and it'sjust one of those important
(18:26):
reminders.
It's been a really importantreminder for me to allow myself
to feel, because I know like Ieven broke down in between
hurricanes.
The week in between hurricanesI took my son to Disney and we
had so much fun and I know forme I just wanted to escape.
Like my escape now is not likegoing and having drinks or
anything like that, it's likeit's doing things fun, things
(18:49):
Like I want to have joyousmoments and so I just, like my
husband, took the boys the olderboys to a football game, so I
just we checked into thecontemporary resort and went to
Disney and we had so much funfor 24 hours, just he and I, and
we just had a blast and I thinkwe both really needed that.
(19:10):
But that too was exhaustingbecause I was still kind of
coming over the effects of thebronchitis and pneumonia and
stuff like that and I wasn'tfeverish or anything so
energetically.
I felt great but still had aweird cough, but it was almost
like I was going stir crazy justbeing at home with all of the
other collective.
It's like one of thosesituations that really I feel
(19:32):
like really if you're sensitiveto it, you can feel the
collective consciousness right,and not to mention, it's an
election year, so everyone'sgetting political, and I hate
politics.
I'm not gonna lie, like I can'tstand it, since I was a very
young girl never understood whydoes it have to be one opinion
(19:54):
or the other, like why does ithave to be so separate, or why
are they right and you're wrong?
And I think it's all bullshit,to be honest.
So I'm not going to lie, I hopesomething comes through and
like nothing like devastatingplease.
But I'm not gonna lie.
I hope something comes throughand like nothing like
devastating please.
But I feel like our systemneeds a little shake up.
I feel like we need somecollective consciousness to come
(20:16):
in and uplift our society in apositive way and really kind of
break down this system.
That's outdated and just Idon't feel like it works, to be
honest.
So that's freaking people out,like even knowing that there's
an election coming up and stufflike that, I just really tried
not to participate in all ofthat.
(20:36):
So that's my two cents andprobably all you'll really hear
from me.
On politics, um, I do think thatthere's a lot of things that
are necessary to have.
You, you know, some formalityand so we're not just running
around feral and buck wild andall of that.
But I just wish that there wasmore positivity and uplifting
and empowerment involved in itand less negativity and bias and
(20:58):
talking down and whatever.
Like just talk about what greatthings you're going to do and
do them, and not talk negativelyabout all the other people.
So anyway, um, that's my hitbox on that.
Just talk about what greatthings you're going to do and do
them, and not talk negativelyabout all the other people.
So, anyway, that's my hit boxon that.
But it's definitely affectingsociety and the economy and so
it's just I think I'm mentallypreparing and trying to
(21:19):
physically prepare.
I haven't worked out in like amonth.
Actually, wednesday I workedout for the first in a month,
other than long walks Like Ilove my long walks and yoga but
I haven't done any strengthtraining in like a month and it
actually felt really good totake a break.
I think my body needed that.
I think I felt like I like hadsome inflammation going on.
I don't know if it was fromtravel and being sick and
(21:40):
probably a combination of all ofthe above, but I knew like,
going through this stressfultime, it's really important to
allow my cortisol levels tosettle.
So high intensity workoutsduring a time of stress is no
bueno for me, like it's not,doesn't work.
It's something I used to doquite often but something I've
learned that my body does notlike.
(22:01):
So I really try to honor that.
So walks in nature and theweather's been beautiful the
past few days, so really justtaking advantage of being out in
nature, connecting with nature,putting my feet in the grass,
listening to the birds, taking awalk, doing some stretches,
trying to keep my body open andin line, because it just, it
(22:22):
just feels like rigid, almostlike there's a rigid energy in
the air, and, um, trying my bestto navigate that and
communicate.
Like I reached out to myhusband and I'm like I'm sorry I
cried over his salad.
He's like babe, it's okay, I'mjust here to support you and he
(22:43):
didn't take it personally.
Thank goodness, because heknows I mean, it's nothing he
really did.
He didn't take it personally,thank goodness, because he knows
it's nothing he really did.
He didn't mean to take twosalads.
It's silly, it's something thatI would have never cared about
on a different day.
But I think I'm just to thatpoint and my nervous system
probably got a littledysregulated from the cold
plunge on top of, you know, allthe other craziness going on in
(23:04):
the world.
I don't regret doing it.
I think it was very necessary todo, but it was just one of
those things that shed somelight on some things that I
think I needed to shed light on.
And we did this cacao ceremonyyesterday for the full moon.
So with my YPO group.
We did a cacao ceremony, somenonlinear movement, blindfolded,
(23:24):
which was really great.
We did some meditation, soundbath and some journaling, and it
was all really impactful and atthe time I found myself like,
oh, I'm good, like this feels,good, this is.
I don't really have a lot torelease, like yes, the hell you
do.
Like who are you kidding?
I think I've just been kind ofgoing through the motion so much
(23:44):
that I've almost felt selfishto say, hey, I need a minute to
release or feel whatever I'mfeeling, because there's so many
other people going throughthings and have, you know,
different circumstances that Ido.
I think part of that.
I think that's where thatsurvivor guilt comes in.
(24:04):
And you know we all have mirrorneurons.
So when we're watchingdevastation and people losing
things and you've sort of kindof feel for other people and
selfishly, I think it's like wow, like all the beautiful spots
that I love, like they're notthere anymore and even though
(24:25):
they're not mine, they're a partof our life and a part of our
community, and so it's justallowing yourself to feel that,
grieve it but then move on fromit.
So I think it's important to notstay stuck there.
So there's a difference andthat's something that obviously
overcoming the PTSD was a bigleap in my healing journey is
(24:47):
just not staying stuck there.
So, whatever solid situationhappened, I had a good cry.
I felt so much better.
I'm here now.
I'm talking to you guys inhopes that you can probably
especially if you're in our arearelate to some of that.
That and I'm really excited.
Also, another big thing that Ithink is kind of festering
(25:11):
inside me, for lack of a betterword.
So my husband was very sweetand he's like we need to do more
with your podcast, like youhave so much great things to put
out there.
So we've invested in someonedoing more of my social media
and stuff.
So it's on TikTok and YouTubeand all over the place now.
So I think that the underlyingenergy behind that because the
(25:37):
story I've been telling myselfis that I want to be heard and
not seen and blah, blah, blah,blah.
So and that was great for achapter, but I think think it's
time.
I think that I mean I know thatwhen I see people, I relate to
them more, so but just theenergy behind that, like it's
been this has been happening forlike all of 48 hours and one of
(25:57):
the videos has like 70something thousand views.
I'm like holy shit, like and Idon't really know what to
compare it to, cause I don'treally pay attention to stats
like that on social media, butit's out there.
So I've found myself like, if Iread the comments like, for
example, the video that's goingcrazy is about um I stopped
trying to fix my husband and howhe deserves to be loved for who
(26:23):
he is and what he is, and Ideserve that too, which for me,
um, is unconditional love.
Right, it's like not loving himconditionally, like if you
change this, I'll love you more,if I change this, you'll love
me more.
Like, no, it's like justaccepting him, trusting that
he's doing his part in hisjourney, trusting that we're
doing our part together.
(26:44):
Reading the comments, it's likesome of these people, I'm like,
oh my God, that is not, that isnot what I said at all.
Like, not what I said at all,sister, like you are totally
getting that wrong and it justmakes you realize that not
everyone has your lens andthat's okay, that what people
(27:04):
project, especially online,hiding behind the computer and
the phone or whatever they're on, is a projection of their inner
network, not yours.
And so I found myself justwanting to like counsel, like
four of these people that arelike, well, what if he's doing
this and what if he's doing that?
And I'm like, okay, well, Ifeel like there needs to be a
(27:25):
whole other.
I'm like just listen to thefull podcast and you'll get the
big picture right.
That's what these little reelsare for.
So it's been interesting andit's been a growth opportunity
for me to a go back to a bookthat I love, which is the four
agreements, and not take thingspersonally good or bad.
So if someone's complimentingyou or really going on like, oh,
(27:51):
you did this and this is sowonderful, but don't take that
to heart, because what is that?
It's not even taking it toheart.
It's feeding your ego, right?
So it's like our false sense ofself loves the compliments and
our false sense of self getsannoyed with the negative
comments.
So it's been a really greatreminder again to really go
(28:14):
inward and remember the purposeof doing this, which is exactly
why I came in today to film.
It's like I'm not filling upfor it.
It's like, well, you're notfilling up for what Going and
talking about what's been goingon.
Yes, you are.
This is the whole point of allof this.
This is the reason you're doingit in the first place.
So it's been a really greatgrowth opportunity and reminder
(28:35):
and it just makes me supergrateful that I'm in a place to,
even if I'm crying over a salad, to take a step back and be
like dude, it's okay, likeeveryone has their moments.
It's okay to not be okay allthe time, and I'm going to say
that again.
It's okay to not be okay allthe time and it's important to
(28:57):
give yourself permission forthat and that's something that
you know.
I also realized and I waswatching a few videos now that
I'm a TikToker.
I'm not really on there much,but I was just curious to see
what the videos were doing.
I watched one and someone wastalking about affirmations and
how affirmations are bullshit,which, as you've heard me talk
(29:21):
about affirmations on my podcasta lot, but I really loved the
perspective, becauseaffirmations are bullshit if you
don't truly believe it.
So if you're lying to yourselfand saying, oh, I'm an honest
person, but you're not tellingthe whole truth in relationships
or to yourself even, ordifferent examples of I don't
(29:44):
know.
I just think it's reallyinteresting and it really made
me think like, yes, affirmations.
I feel like they've reallyhelped me, but what I realize is
I'm telling myself things thatI truly believe about myself,
like I'm worthy and I deservelove and I deserve respect, and
those are things that I feellike everyone is worthy, I feel
(30:05):
like everyone deserves love, Ifeel like everyone deserves
respect.
So it just it's interesting andit really puts things in
context, because people do takethat and run with it and it can
be you not being completelyhonest with yourself and if
you're not living up to I don'twant to say standard, because I
(30:27):
don't like that word If you'renot living a certain way and
you're contradicting yourself,only you really know that, like
if you're putting it out there.
That's one thing I mean andit's it's just really important
to go back to what.
What is your purpose, what isyour intention for doing the
(30:50):
things you're doing?
And I I've realized more sinceI've been doing all of this that
there's a lot of it out there.
There's a lot of people talkingmental health.
There's a lot of people, youknow, on their own journeys, and
I respect that and I.
But what I gravitate towardsare the people talking about
real life stuff and real lifeexamples, and that's what I like
(31:10):
to continue to bring to youguys and I just wanted to jump
on today to talk about a littlebit of this because I think it's
just really important for me tostay level and to be true to
myself and to fulfill my purposeof sharing.
It is just to get on and talkabout some real, live, raw shit.
(31:33):
Sometimes and it's not alwaysgoing to be about healing
Sometimes it's going to be aboutcoping.
Like how are we coping?
Like I, literally, when I wassick and my kids were home for
two weeks, I was taking thiscrazy cough syrup at night that
had codeine in it.
It was helping me sleep and Iwas waking up and drinking
coffee.
And what have I said severaltimes?
Like I don't really drinkcoffee and caffeine it makes me
(31:54):
feel blah.
Well, guess what?
It helped me survive for acouple of weeks.
But I feel like now, in theplace that I'm in, that things
are kind of leveling out.
The weather's been beautiful.
I'm going to shift that dumpthe coffee for a little while
because I feel like my nervoussystem needs a little bit more
regulation from the inside out.
Like I may appear okay on theoutside, but I know for a fact,
(32:15):
on the inside, I'm still healingphysically, emotionally,
mentally and I am excited.
It's really giving me theopportunity to reset and be
excited about this new chapter,which is really all about
empowerment, accountability, andI think this all meant to
(32:39):
happen.
It's been devastating, it'sbeen crazy and chaotic, but if
you're surrendering to the flowlike I talk about, I'm
surrendering to like, hey, thisis what's happened, I'm not
going to resist it, I'm going toroll with it and I'm really
excited to have some new guestson that really have some unique
perspectives about this andthey're willing to share their
(32:59):
real life experience and we'rereally just as a society.
I feel like coming together in abeautiful way and that's one of
the great things about having asituation like we've had
recently is watching thecommunity come together, and I
talked to a girlfriend yesterdayand she and her son two sons
(33:21):
went around their neighborhoodand cleaned up people's yards.
That will never know they didit.
You know they knew a certaincouple was out of town or they
realized it after the fact, butthey had picked up all the palm
fronds and things out of theiryard and it's like how nice is
that to come home and be like,wow, perfect strangers cleaned
up my house because I had toevacuate and oh, before I forget
(33:43):
, that's one thing I want totouch on.
So we had a lot of peoplereaching out.
Obviously, when you see a catfive hurricane coming towards a
community, a lot of people comeout of the woodwork to check on
you, which I really greatlyappreciate.
Thank you all for reaching out.
However, there are certainpeople that have opinions about
(34:04):
what you should be doing andwhere you should be going and
why you should be doing it, andyou know what Mind your freaking
business is all I have to sayabout that.
Like, love you, I appreciateyou, but it is not up to other
people to decide for people whatto do.
Like, allow people in theirmoments to decide what to do
with their lives.
(34:25):
My husband and I made thedecision for him to stay home
and for me to take the kids toour hunker down spot where I
knew there would be Wi-Fi.
I knew there would be agenerator.
We actually got a generator,like a year and a half ago, at
our home and it rusted from theinside out, so there was no
guaranteed power, and one sideof our house is hurricane proof,
the other side's not, and withthe kids at home, we just wanted
(34:46):
peace of mind.
So we made that decision and wehad some people chime in on it
and feel like we should be doingotherwise, and it's like it's
not really up for you to decideand we appreciate you,
appreciate your own helplessnessin it all and I know that
feeling.
It's like I've had to hold backon being like, oh wow, you guys
(35:11):
should do this or you guysshould do that.
But the bottom line is we werenot in an evacuation zone at all
.
We have a very strong andsturdy house with a brand new
roof.
It is really important to allowthe people who need to leave to
have the available resources,time, space on the roads to
(35:32):
evacuate if that's what theyneed.
Like I said, we had twoback-to-back hurricanes.
There were people that didn'teven have homes or cars to
evacuate in, so we don't need tobe taking up their gas and
their space and their resourcesand supplies when we have a safe
place.
So just trust your friends,trust your family members and
(35:52):
trust that people are able tomake decisions for themselves
and just let's just respect thatand have some courtesy for our
peers and families and friends.
Let's just love and trust andin a situation like we've had
going on, what really helps meand I honestly kind of find
(36:15):
peace in the storm in a reallyodd way, I don't know Ever since
I was a little girl like ifthere's like a crazy
thunderstorm or something goingon, I try not to get fearful and
I try to really connect with itand it's like you know, mother
Nature is really powerful.
So I feel like the more I canrespect the process while it's
happening, the more peace I willhave in my heart.
Now are there moments where Igot scared.
Yes, I mean, we had six hoursof insane winds.
(36:39):
It was like the second half wasway worse than the first half
and there were parts that weredefinitely scary.
But did I go into it with afearful mindset of like fight or
flight?
No, and it was interestingbecause in 2017, I think it was
the year we got married, I thinkit was 2017 or 18, one of those
, the year we got married,hurricane Irma came through and
(37:02):
it was a very similar situationand we lived on the water at the
time and I remember boardingthe house up and going to hunker
down with the whole family.
I remember taking like a giantYeti full of wine and bottles of
water, and the kids were thereon walkie-talkies running around
and you know, I knew we wouldhave, we knew we would be safe
and we were fine.
But I remember of deep innerwork to not just be sparked
(37:23):
instantly into those fight orflight situations.
Or maybe I'm just accustomed tohurricanes by now and you know,
as a Floridian, your entirelife.
(37:44):
It's just, you know, it's allpart of it.
We don't really intend onleaving.
Our businesses are here, Ourhome is here.
It would be nice to have like asecond home somewhere else, and
that'll be a conversation fordown the road, but it's just
really heightened that sense ofjust respect other people's
(38:04):
decisions, for what they decide.
I think that's really importantbecause I know I've in the past
projected my feelings and myfears onto other people and
that's just not fair becausethat's one more thing they have
to worry about, like why.
You know it's not up to me tomake someone feel guilty for not
leaving their home, or thatthey did leave their home or
(38:26):
that they should leave.
You know it's not, it's ashoulda, woulda, couldas, right,
let's not.
Should people, let's not, couldpeople, let's.
Let's just mind our business,although again appreciate the
thought, concern all the things.
Let's see, I don't know.
There's just so much to unraveland unpack right now.
(38:49):
I think I'll probably concludeit for today with I am just so
grateful, like very grateful,for the opportunities that I've
had to reflect on inner stuff,outside stuff, other people, our
community, our community.
(39:18):
It's just really put a lot inperspective and I think, instead
of having like um, oh my gosh,why did this happen to us?
Kind of mindset, it's more of aI'm grateful that we've all had
an opportunity to remindourselves of what's truly
important and what reallymatters in our life and it gives
you an extra layer of gratitudefor the small things in life
(39:38):
and the small little necessities, like having power and fresh
food and gas in your car.
And it really takes it back tothe basics and just overall
gives me an extra layer ofcompassion and sympathy and
empathy and love for otherpeople, because it's not easy
(40:02):
and facing things like this isnot easy at all.
Gratitude and appreciation andnot live in the fear or the why
did this happen to me?
Kind of situation.
I think that we really increaseand intensify that high
(40:24):
vibration, energy of love andlight and compassion.
So that's what I'm going toleave you guys with today.
So that's what I'm going toleave you guys with today.
Thanks for the soapbox venting.
I covered a lot of randomthings in 40 minutes, but it was
a pleasure to jump on.
I'm looking forward to havingsome fun guests on and I will
(40:46):
see you guys later.
Peace out.
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