January 30, 2025 • 25 mins
This episode explores how small language and routine changes can transform our mindset and daily lives. Emphasizing the impact of reframing thoughts from obligation to opportunity, it encourages listeners to uncover joy in mundane tasks and create a more positive environment.
• Understanding the power of language in shaping our emotional experiences
• Transforming chores into opportunities for mindfulness and creativity
• Breaking habitual patterns to foster openness and adaptability
• Enhancing emotional awareness in parenting and relationships
• Recognizing the importance of connection and meaningful interactions
• Cultivating gratitude for personal growth and emotional release
• Encouraging listeners to explore their routines and share their own stories of change
Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring my story and my guests. If something touched your heart please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up you guys?
Welcome to this episode ofCrystal Clear.
I just wanted to jump on todayto kind of go over something
that I've been observing formyself and that's been kind of
the like say this, not that inmy head Ain't out loud, but
mostly in my head is where I'veobserved it, and I wanted to
(00:21):
just kind of share a few thingswith you.
For example, we just got intothe new year, new season time
for, like, rebirth and growthand all of that.
But honestly, I also want toacknowledge that, just because
it's a new year, we don't alwayshave to make gigantic shifts,
right?
So it could be something assmall as saying, for example, I
(00:46):
put four Christmas trees outthis year, I need to take them
down.
It's like, well, when I feellike I say I need to do
something, like I need to go tothe grocery store, I need to go
pick up the kids from school orI need to get this presentation
done, it sounds like a chore,right, like it sounds like, oh,
(01:07):
it's just like lagging, like Idon't know.
I feel like need is like achore, right, it sounds like, oh
, it's just lagging, I don'tknow.
I feel like need is a lowvibration word.
So what I've been really tryingto do is I'm excited to work on
this presentation, I'm excitedto get to be able to use my
creative side and flipping thatin my mind to where it makes it
more something I'm excited about, like being home for three
(01:27):
weeks and I don't know about youguys, but the laundry in my
home is endless, endless.
When you think and you get itall done, one basket is already
full again, and that's okay.
I get the opportunity this maybe a stretch, but work with me
here I get the opportunity towash and fold and put some
(01:49):
things away.
And usually what I've been doinglately and I think I'm just
kind of in a season of purgingis when I'm putting things away.
I kind of go through eachdrawer, whether it's mine or
someone else's in my house, andI pull things out that either I
haven't worn in a while, I fit,check it, I see if it still fits
well, If it doesn't, I put itin a donation pile.
(02:10):
So I've really been looking atespecially laundry for those of
you who love it as much as I doleast favorite household chore,
although some days it's kind oftherapeutic as an opportunity to
purge, to revisit.
Instead of, you know, puttingthings back in the same old way
I do in my drawers, it's likemaybe I flip it.
Instead of stacking things ontop of each other, I flip them
(02:33):
to where you can see each itemin a line.
So I've been trying to reallykind of change things up to
break patterns Like I feel likethis is I'm being really pulled
to have completions right.
We talked about this in mynumerology insights podcast with
Hallie Young and Nicole Cato isjust really breaking patterns
(02:57):
and that nine-year, being like2025, is a nine-year.
It's like a year of conclusion.
So really, if I've noticed,I've been in the same pattern,
whether it's the burner I use onthe stove.
I saw a meme the other day andit made me laugh out loud
because adulting is like havinga favorite stove burner and no
one ever talks about that.
It's freaking true.
(03:17):
Mine is like the front rightburner.
I don't know why.
I always go to it and Irealized that when we just got a
new stove, we switched from gasto electric.
I always go to it and Irealized that when we just got a
new stove, we switched from gasto electric, still warming up
to that no pun intended, becauseit takes forever to warm up.
But I have a favorite burnerand no one talks about that.
So I've been trying to switchit up, I've been trying to use a
(03:37):
different burner and seeing howI respond to that and just
breaking these little habitualreactivities.
I've gotten back intointermittent fasting and instead
of over the holidays I wasreally loving having my warm
coffee in the morning, whetherit was decaf or regular.
I started dabbling back intothe regular caffeine and I loved
(03:58):
it.
It was cozy, it was great.
But now it's like I don't feellike that's serving me well and
I just kind of want to againbreak the patterns.
I've gotten back into someintermittent fasting 16, 18-hour
fast a day.
I love it.
I usually stop eating aroundfive or six in the evening and
then I'll pick it back up,whether I want to do a 16 or an
18-hour fast, and it's usuallyafter I have my work done and I
(04:23):
always break my fast with somesort of protein and then I'll
have like.
So I've even I have thisawesome tea truck in Sarasota
called Elevation Tea Company andthey're like the only place I
can find chai tea, brewed chaitea that's not filled with a
bunch of crap, so they brew itin-house.
There's also Simon's CoffeeHouse, which is amazing, but
(04:44):
anyway, they brew it in-houseand I've been mixing that with
my protein shakes.
It's really good, it's likechai protein Delicious.
So, anyway, switching that up.
So this podcast, I'm just goingto give some examples of things
I've been switching up in mylife and I would love to kind of
hear some interactive feedback,like what have you been
switching up in your life orwhat do you feel like you want
(05:04):
to switch up?
I think that that's somethingthat I'm always intrigued by
what my guests and my listenersare doing in their lives.
So I would love to be moreinteractive with you guys.
So give me all the things Iwant to hear it all.
So I gave a couple examples oflike I need to and so I've
really been trying to shift that.
Like I said, or like I'm excitedabout, or I get the opportunity
(05:25):
to like car line.
For those of you who havechildren, if you go, depending
on what school they go to Idon't know about you, but Sierra
Sur to schools, car line are alittle crazy.
I'll say I get the opportunityto have those awesome car chats
(05:46):
because, honestly, I'm notkidding you guys.
My daughter's about to turn 15.
They go by so fast and they'regoing to be gone before I know
it.
So I really have been trying toembrace even driving by her
elementary school the other day,I'm like, oh my gosh, it feels
like yesterday, but it was solong ago it was four years ago
that I was pulling in there.
So just really trying to embracethings like going to the
(06:08):
grocery store.
I think one of the best thingsthat came out of the pandemic is
grocery delivery.
I'm not going to lie, I amreally guilty of that several
times a week, but that's aluxury, let's just face it.
So, thinking about the grocerystore like I hate going certain
times a day, it's like, but youknow what, you get the
(06:29):
opportunity to go and becreative.
So I've tried to kind of setaside a little list for myself
and write down some things I'dlike to do, maybe kind of plan
out the kids' lunch for the weekand dinner for the week, and we
actually have this really greatLeo's Clean Kitchen place that
delivers food.
So sometimes I have dinnercovered, but anyway.
(06:50):
So that was just a couple ofeveryday examples and I was
talking to my husband and I dida little overnight date night
this weekend, which is reallygreat, to have some intentional
time after the holidays and justreconnect, reevaluate, move
forward.
I had actually a lot of fundates last week, unexpectedly,
and we were eating dinner and hesaid something about oh sorry,
(07:12):
about elbows on the table andI'm like you know what, I don't
care that your elbows are on thetable.
The reason, like with kids Iunderstand, like because they'll
knock things over right.
Like we have a four-year-old,so if his elbows are on the
table, that means his arms areflailing.
Even same for myself.
I talk a lot with my hands, asyou guys have probably noticed
if you're watching my podcast,so I'm more likely to knock all
the things over if my elbows areon the table.
(07:33):
Do you consciously think he'slike?
Absolutely, I was like.
It's really interesting.
It made me think about thethings that we say to our
children or to ourselves or toour spouses or whatever, like
(07:53):
the repetitive things.
Like one thing I know that I'mfully guilty of is opening my
daughter's bedroom door, tryingnot to react.
Trying not to react, trying tounderstand, like in time, maybe
she will understand that thesethings belong in the closet or
in the dresser and not on thefloor and trying to just let
that be her sacred space withinreason, and not saying every
(08:17):
time I open the door like babe,can you clean this up?
Because A I don't want her torebel and like never want to
clean her room and B I don'twant her to just remember.
That's the first thing thatcomes out of my mouth all the
time.
So take a second and reallythink about the things that you
might say to others or yourselfhabitually, like just second
(08:37):
nature responding but not reallylike just almost like that,
just auto response.
So take a second, maybe writeit down and think about some
things that you may say toyourself or others on a regular
basis and how you may be able toshift in what you really want
(09:01):
them to remember.
So one thing I know for me, ourlittle guy he's four and a half
he's got a lot of big feelingssometimes, as we all do.
And when he's going throughtimes of big feelings, what
takes me back to childhood.
(09:23):
If I were having big feelings,my stepfather would say things
like Do you want me to give yousomething to cry about?
Never went over well, because Ait made me so angry inside when
he would say something likethat to me, it made it worse.
Obviously, you get biggeremotions because you just wanted
to rebuttal and hit him orsomething or have it in your
(09:48):
five-year-old mind like I wishyou would try.
So what I've always reallytried to do with all the kids
but I really have done it withthe little guy is do you need a
hug?
Even if I'm frustrated in themoment, I ask him when he's got
big feelings do you need a hug?
So which has led to thesweetest and cutest thing is he
(10:11):
asked for hugs all day long,every day, from everyone.
So it's just something thatwe've done, and my husband and I
were talking about this and weboth felt very fulfilled by that
, because no parent getsanything, right.
But that's one thing I feellike with him, we've really been
able to nurture like do youneed a hug?
(10:32):
So he's going to remember that,hopefully when he's an adult
and still ask for those hugswhen he's an adult, and I want
that to be something that heremembers, that his parents said
to him when he's going throughbig feelings or big emotions.
I know that for me, thealternative of you already gave
(10:55):
you something to cry about justmade me angry, right?
So then you get the biggeremotions on top of it.
Or if someone were to actuallyeven flow through with that and
hit their child or whatever itmay be, but like realizing now
that that's the other person'sreactivity, because I know that
I've been in situations I meanbeing a mother at 25 and a
mother at 35, very differentlevels of reactivity.
(11:17):
I have a lot more tools in mytoolbox this time than I did
before, and I didn't always doit right.
I would never say that to herbecause it was a trauma response
of my own.
But I realize now that I neverreally held that amount of space
for her.
I never really held that amountof space for her, but I do now.
(11:38):
So we always have the abilityto reset and rewind and just
connect with that awareness ofwhat's going on with us.
Because one thing that I'verealized over all of my years is
the reason I am a recovering,people pleaser, fixer, all the
things is I do not like to bearound people suffering, not
that I don't like to be aroundit, but it makes me
(11:58):
uncomfortable inside because itbrings about maybe it's grief,
maybe it's old trauma, maybeit's like the lack of the
helplessness that's found withother people suffering, but
understanding and gaining theknowledge and the tools to
realize.
You know, everyone's journey isdifferent.
Everyone needs to figure outwhat their own coping skills are
, and so it's been really greatpersonally to be able to
(12:19):
navigate those situations withmore self-awareness and
understanding that, if I am Imean, life is not perfect
there's going to be momentswhere someone's having big
feelings and I'm like I can'tfucking deal with this.
I excuse myself, I walk out ofthe room.
I try not to blow up or lose mystuff, and you know.
So just really having that andtaking responsibility for my own
(12:40):
response is very important.
So those are just a few littleexamples.
We always have that ability torewire with gratitude and
appreciation.
One thing that I've mentioned onseveral of my other podcasts is
, you know, growing up Istruggled with eating disorders
and perfectionism paradigm andyou know all of that stuff was.
(13:03):
It was like a protect, it was alayer of protection I was
putting over myself that reallyfueled from like deep down
worthiness issues that I wasgoing through.
So now, instead of and I thinkidentification.
So it was worthiness, but itwas also I was very identified
with being an athlete.
I was very identified withbeing a fitness instructor.
(13:25):
I was very identified withbeing super physically fit.
So those identifications led meinto thought patterns that I
had to hustle.
I had to go.
I had to always be moving mybody intensely to be getting a
good workout.
And one thing recently I haveofficially entered my Pilates
hot yoga era and I'm loving it.
So no more high intensity forme.
(13:47):
I mean never, say never.
I still like a really good HIITclass or something, but I've
been doing this hot yoga sculptclass twice a week.
It's a warm hot room.
I sweat my butt off.
It's amazing, but it's still areally good workout and it's
kind of similar to the way thatI used to teach them a little
partial to our instructor, amyat hot yoga Sarasota.
Amazing, lots of pulses, a lotof booty work, all up my alley
(14:10):
Love it.
And then I walked to Pilates,which is like a mile and a half
away from my house.
So I can make it like a threemile walk, or I can make it like
a six mile walk if I take thelong way and loving it and
knowing that I'm nurturing mybody.
So instead of pre-planning myweek and signing up for, like
all these crazy classes like Iused to like legit in 2016, the
(14:34):
year before I got married, Iwould run with Matt in the
morning, I would go to a cycleclass and I would go to a HIIT
class.
That is like no wonder myadrenals were totally burned out
, but we're nurturing those nowand I'm honoring that.
My body is changing.
I'm honoring that I'm just in anew stage.
So when I wake up I plan onmoving my body.
(14:55):
Like what does that look like?
And every day it changes.
So again, it goes with stoppingthe old patterns.
Like we again had an overnightthis past weekend and they had
this delicious like bread,pudding, gooseberry, french
toast and I'm not really a bigcarb person, especially in the
morning, um, but I tried someand it was delicious.
(15:15):
But I also got the chickensausage on the side because I
wanted to balance it with myprotein, because I just like to
balance my macros like that.
So those are just littleexamples Before.
If I would have had that, Iwould have been like, okay, I
need to sign up for this classor I need to go run before I get
home.
It's just like breaking thosepatterns.
It's like you ate half a pieceof French toast.
You're not going to freaking die, but that was a pattern for me
(15:39):
and it may seem super silly toother people.
I mean, we all have our stuffright.
We just released an episodewith my husband and some reels
talking about alcohol, likegoing out socially, like, oh,
let's go to this favorite placeand get my favorite drink.
Well, I might go to some of thefavorite places, like the Ritz
in Sarasota.
I used to love a good siren.
I would probably die if I dranka siren, if you know.
(16:02):
You know I'm just going to saythat.
But I get a virgin one or I getsomething totally different and
just change it up.
If I get the same coffee orderat ONA Coffee, I'll get
something different the nexttime, even if it's like
switching from oat milk toalmond milk.
It sounds silly, but changingthose patterns are super healthy
for your brain and your abilityto adapt and navigate and I
(16:27):
just feel like I've felt so muchfreedom with the little things
and also not giving myself ahard time if I transition and
make some changes.
So I am infamous forself-sabotage when it comes to
not I set these, I'm going to dothis.
(16:47):
I make a whole checklist forthe day right, and if I don't do
the whole checklist, I'm like Ijust need to do.
That was an old pattern.
That was like three years agome.
So I've really worked hard tolike I'll make a list of my
needs and my wants and my has tolike, have tos, and you know,
if I check off what I check offand guess what, tomorrow's a new
(17:07):
day.
I have complete opportunity tocheck that stuff off a different
day and it's really not thatbig of a deal.
But prioritizing the thingsthat need to get done or the
things that I want to get done,or sometimes prioritizing the
wants over the needs, and that'sokay too, because, again,
changing it up, so we had thisfull moon of 2025, the first
(17:30):
full moon it was January 13th.
We are still coming off thatenergy.
You have a good two weeksaround the full moon.
That is a really energetically.
It's a time to release, it's atime to let go, beginning this
year of a nine year.
It's a conclusion.
So I want to know what are youguys letting go of?
(17:51):
What is it you're releasing inyour own minds, in your own
hearts, in your own you knowtangible world?
Are there things like are yougoing to quit drinking, quit
smoking?
Are you going to change up whatyour routine for your body?
Are you going to change the wayyou drive, to work?
Like, what things are you guystaking the opportunity to let go
(18:13):
of?
And if you're not, why not?
And that's something that I'vehad to ask myself.
I'm like, oh, I'll change thisup.
Maybe not.
And it's like, well, why not?
And sometimes it's okay to keepthe same flow and the same
pattern, but I do encourage youat some point to get to the
(18:35):
place where you're lettingthings go, even if it's purging
things around the house, whichalways feels good.
I feel like after Christmas thisyear, taking everything down, I
really just kind of had a cleanslate and it feels good.
It feels good to have justthings in order and back to
normal and really releasingemotional baggage and welcoming
(19:00):
new beginnings.
So I am the type of person andI'm sure I've mentioned this
before that if I have a cancelFor example, I was supposed to
shoot a podcast with a friendtoday and she had to cancel
Absolutely no problem at all.
I'm going to go in, I'll do alittle quickie by myself, even
if I had to cancel it.
I always look at and I feellike I've always kind of been
this way, but I'm going to go in, I'll do a little quickie by
myself, even if I had to cancelit.
I always look at and I feel likeI've always kind of been this
(19:21):
way, but I'm really steppinginto it and trying to emphasize
it to others, as cancellationsare an opportunity to have some
blank space in your life.
So welcome them with open arms.
I think so often we can getwrapped up in that, oh, but I
wonder why, and like if you've,if you have rejection triggers
(19:43):
or you know things happen thatyou're really looking forward to
.
But I think it goes back tothat like stop setting
expectations and justunderstanding that like life is
happening for you, um, and juststaying open to those moments.
So if I have a cancellation, Iam welcoming the blank space.
I'm trying not to fill thespace, or maybe it is an
(20:04):
opportunity to shift somethingthat you wanted to get done and
just looking at it as, um, aplace of growth and involvement,
whether it's thought patterns,whether it's what you do with
that time.
And I know that one thing I'mjust trying to be really
intentional about making sure Ihave a lot of downtime, not too
much, but a good balanceDowntime time for myself, time
(20:27):
for my family, time for my jobs.
I was in an event today.
Actually, my husband and I werehonored by an organization we
work with Children, first forphilanthropy, and it was really
great to be in a room full ofnonprofits and business leaders
(20:50):
and people in our community thattruly find joy in selfless
giving, and I think that that'ssomething, something even when
my life looked very differentthan it does now, and I talk
about this a lot and I did apodcast with my husband.
He has a podcast called MattBell Legacy.
Actually, he has two Matt BellLegacy and Matt Bell Limitless.
(21:12):
But I'm going to be on hislegacy podcasts and he kind of
interviews me like who isCrystal, what are you all about?
What are your goals, what areyour dreams?
You know all this, all thethings, and one thing that
really hit me when I was talkingabout that.
It's like he's like well, howdo you feel right now and I had
to think about it for a moment Ifeel really fulfilled, like I
(21:33):
think this, this podcast, hasbeen great.
It's almost like my verbaljournal.
I get to talk to you guys, Iget great feedback from most of
the episodes and have questions,and I love that and I love the
interaction and love that.
If one episode hits one person,that's my purpose for it,
that's the intention.
(21:54):
So, when it comes to beinginvolved with people or
organizations, I do it from aplace of appreciation and
gratitude A for the opportunityto have this type of platform to
do it, but also just realizinghow fulfilling and how happy it
makes me to do something.
(22:15):
I remember when I was poor incollege, I always gave to St
Jude Children's ResearchHospital.
I had not a lot to give.
I would send like 20 or 30bucks or something like that
every now and then, and theyalways send me these cute little
return address labels.
But I always felt good about it, I was doing something.
And so if you feel like you'restuck in a rut and not sure what
(22:37):
to do, maybe look atopportunities like that.
And one of the things that theyleft us with which is the
reason I brought this up is theymentioned at the end like I'm
not going to give an ask.
You know, like your typicalnonprofit event would be,
there's no ask for a donation oranything he said.
I asked that you reach out toone person, call someone don't
(23:02):
text them call someone youhaven't talked to in at least
three months and have aconversation with them.
And I really was thinking aboutlike, well, who am I going to
call?
And I might call multiple, I'msure I will probably eventually
call multiple people, but Ireally liked that.
I'm sure I will probablyeventually call multiple people,
but I really liked that.
(23:25):
So when we talk about giving anddoing something different or
challenging ourselves, it couldbe something as small as making
a phone call we haven't made ina while because we get, I think
so wrapped up in this easycommunication of text messaging
or social media messaging oremailing, that I'm still that
person at work that callseveryone because I just like to
talk to people, when I coulddefinitely send an email and
(23:47):
email thread and half the timeit's like, okay, well, can you
send this to me in an email too,because we have to loop like
five people in and you knowwhatever.
I still like that humaninteraction and it's good for us
.
We're built, built for that.
Like humans, we need connectionand we need those situations
that bring us, that lift us upand or do a kind deed for
someone, like I know I did apodcast a while ago with another
(24:11):
one with Hallie Young, and wetalked about, like you know, if
you're going through theChick-fil-A line or the
Starbucks line, like pay for theperson behind you if you can,
or you know just little things Iknow.
After Christmas I was justpurging a lot of the stuff in
the fridge and we just had allthis leftover junk People send
you.
It's beautiful and thank you somuch if you sent it, but like
(24:33):
the chocolate covered this andthe chocolate covered that, I am
a chocolate lover but I cannotbe surrounded by it all the time
in my house.
I got to purge so I took itdown to like a Rosemary district
in Sarasota and gave it away.
There's like a Salvation Armyand I just like put it out the
window like pillows I didn'tneed anymore and you know it
might not be as safe in yourarea, but I know these folks.
They used to drive right downthe school for my daughter's
(24:53):
school or right down the streetfrom my daughter's school.
But, yeah, just do something foryourself or for others.
That makes you feel good.
So that's just really what Iwanted to jump on today to
encourage you to see opportunityand change.
Allow yourself time forstillness, and we don't always
(25:15):
have to be chasing next.
I think there is somethingreally beautiful about taking a
moment to have gratitude foreverything in your life without
chasing or going on to next, andI think that's what I'm going
to leave you with today.
Short and sweet one.
It's been great to connect, asalways.
(25:37):
I asked some questions in thisepisode, so I would love for you
to comment, reply, email,whatever and what topics do you
want to hear about?
Let's hear.
What is it you guys want totalk about in 2025?
Let's hear more of that.
Peace.
What's up you guys?
Welcome to this episode ofCrystal Clear.
I just wanted to jump on todayto kind of go over something
that I've been observing formyself and that's been kind of
the like say this, not that inmy head Ain't out loud, but
mostly in my head is where I'veobserved it, and I wanted to
(00:21):
just kind of share a few thingswith you.
For example, we just got intothe new year, new season time
for, like, rebirth and growthand all of that.
But honestly, I also want toacknowledge that, just because
it's a new year, we don't alwayshave to make gigantic shifts,
right?
So it could be something assmall as saying, for example, I
(00:46):
put four Christmas trees outthis year, I need to take them
down.
It's like, well, when I feellike I say I need to do
something, like I need to go tothe grocery store, I need to go
pick up the kids from school orI need to get this presentation
done, it sounds like a chore,right, like it sounds like, oh,
(01:07):
it's just like lagging, like Idon't know.
I feel like need is like achore, right, it sounds like, oh
, it's just lagging, I don'tknow.
I feel like need is a lowvibration word.
So what I've been really tryingto do is I'm excited to work on
this presentation, I'm excitedto get to be able to use my
creative side and flipping thatin my mind to where it makes it
more something I'm excited about, like being home for three
(01:27):
weeks and I don't know about youguys, but the laundry in my
home is endless, endless.
When you think and you get itall done, one basket is already
full again, and that's okay.
I get the opportunity this maybe a stretch, but work with me
here I get the opportunity towash and fold and put some
(01:49):
things away.
And usually what I've been doinglately and I think I'm just
kind of in a season of purgingis when I'm putting things away.
I kind of go through eachdrawer, whether it's mine or
someone else's in my house, andI pull things out that either I
haven't worn in a while, I fit,check it, I see if it still fits
well, If it doesn't, I put itin a donation pile.
(02:10):
So I've really been looking atespecially laundry for those of
you who love it as much as I doleast favorite household chore,
although some days it's kind oftherapeutic as an opportunity to
purge, to revisit.
Instead of, you know, puttingthings back in the same old way
I do in my drawers, it's likemaybe I flip it.
Instead of stacking things ontop of each other, I flip them
(02:33):
to where you can see each itemin a line.
So I've been trying to reallykind of change things up to
break patterns Like I feel likethis is I'm being really pulled
to have completions right.
We talked about this in mynumerology insights podcast with
Hallie Young and Nicole Cato isjust really breaking patterns
(02:57):
and that nine-year, being like2025, is a nine-year.
It's like a year of conclusion.
So really, if I've noticed,I've been in the same pattern,
whether it's the burner I use onthe stove.
I saw a meme the other day andit made me laugh out loud
because adulting is like havinga favorite stove burner and no
one ever talks about that.
It's freaking true.
(03:17):
Mine is like the front rightburner.
I don't know why.
I always go to it and Irealized that when we just got a
new stove, we switched from gasto electric.
I always go to it and Irealized that when we just got a
new stove, we switched from gasto electric, still warming up
to that no pun intended, becauseit takes forever to warm up.
But I have a favorite burnerand no one talks about that.
So I've been trying to switchit up, I've been trying to use a
(03:37):
different burner and seeing howI respond to that and just
breaking these little habitualreactivities.
I've gotten back intointermittent fasting and instead
of over the holidays I wasreally loving having my warm
coffee in the morning, whetherit was decaf or regular.
I started dabbling back intothe regular caffeine and I loved
(03:58):
it.
It was cozy, it was great.
But now it's like I don't feellike that's serving me well and
I just kind of want to againbreak the patterns.
I've gotten back into someintermittent fasting 16, 18-hour
fast a day.
I love it.
I usually stop eating aroundfive or six in the evening and
then I'll pick it back up,whether I want to do a 16 or an
18-hour fast, and it's usuallyafter I have my work done and I
(04:23):
always break my fast with somesort of protein and then I'll
have like.
So I've even I have thisawesome tea truck in Sarasota
called Elevation Tea Company andthey're like the only place I
can find chai tea, brewed chaitea that's not filled with a
bunch of crap, so they brew itin-house.
There's also Simon's CoffeeHouse, which is amazing, but
(04:44):
anyway, they brew it in-houseand I've been mixing that with
my protein shakes.
It's really good, it's likechai protein Delicious.
So, anyway, switching that up.
So this podcast, I'm just goingto give some examples of things
I've been switching up in mylife and I would love to kind of
hear some interactive feedback,like what have you been
switching up in your life orwhat do you feel like you want
(05:04):
to switch up?
I think that that's somethingthat I'm always intrigued by
what my guests and my listenersare doing in their lives.
So I would love to be moreinteractive with you guys.
So give me all the things Iwant to hear it all.
So I gave a couple examples oflike I need to and so I've
really been trying to shift that.
Like I said, or like I'm excitedabout, or I get the opportunity
(05:25):
to like car line.
For those of you who havechildren, if you go, depending
on what school they go to Idon't know about you, but Sierra
Sur to schools, car line are alittle crazy.
I'll say I get the opportunityto have those awesome car chats
(05:46):
because, honestly, I'm notkidding you guys.
My daughter's about to turn 15.
They go by so fast and they'regoing to be gone before I know
it.
So I really have been trying toembrace even driving by her
elementary school the other day,I'm like, oh my gosh, it feels
like yesterday, but it was solong ago it was four years ago
that I was pulling in there.
So just really trying to embracethings like going to the
(06:08):
grocery store.
I think one of the best thingsthat came out of the pandemic is
grocery delivery.
I'm not going to lie, I amreally guilty of that several
times a week, but that's aluxury, let's just face it.
So, thinking about the grocerystore like I hate going certain
times a day, it's like, but youknow what, you get the
(06:29):
opportunity to go and becreative.
So I've tried to kind of setaside a little list for myself
and write down some things I'dlike to do, maybe kind of plan
out the kids' lunch for the weekand dinner for the week, and we
actually have this really greatLeo's Clean Kitchen place that
delivers food.
So sometimes I have dinnercovered, but anyway.
(06:50):
So that was just a couple ofeveryday examples and I was
talking to my husband and I dida little overnight date night
this weekend, which is reallygreat, to have some intentional
time after the holidays and justreconnect, reevaluate, move
forward.
I had actually a lot of fundates last week, unexpectedly,
and we were eating dinner and hesaid something about oh sorry,
(07:12):
about elbows on the table andI'm like you know what, I don't
care that your elbows are on thetable.
The reason, like with kids Iunderstand, like because they'll
knock things over right.
Like we have a four-year-old,so if his elbows are on the
table, that means his arms areflailing.
Even same for myself.
I talk a lot with my hands, asyou guys have probably noticed
if you're watching my podcast,so I'm more likely to knock all
the things over if my elbows areon the table.
(07:33):
Do you consciously think he'slike?
Absolutely, I was like.
It's really interesting.
It made me think about thethings that we say to our
children or to ourselves or toour spouses or whatever, like
(07:53):
the repetitive things.
Like one thing I know that I'mfully guilty of is opening my
daughter's bedroom door, tryingnot to react.
Trying not to react, trying tounderstand, like in time, maybe
she will understand that thesethings belong in the closet or
in the dresser and not on thefloor and trying to just let
that be her sacred space withinreason, and not saying every
(08:17):
time I open the door like babe,can you clean this up?
Because A I don't want her torebel and like never want to
clean her room and B I don'twant her to just remember.
That's the first thing thatcomes out of my mouth all the
time.
So take a second and reallythink about the things that you
might say to others or yourselfhabitually, like just second
(08:37):
nature responding but not reallylike just almost like that,
just auto response.
So take a second, maybe writeit down and think about some
things that you may say toyourself or others on a regular
basis and how you may be able toshift in what you really want
(09:01):
them to remember.
So one thing I know for me, ourlittle guy he's four and a half
he's got a lot of big feelingssometimes, as we all do.
And when he's going throughtimes of big feelings, what
takes me back to childhood.
(09:23):
If I were having big feelings,my stepfather would say things
like Do you want me to give yousomething to cry about?
Never went over well, because Ait made me so angry inside when
he would say something likethat to me, it made it worse.
Obviously, you get biggeremotions because you just wanted
to rebuttal and hit him orsomething or have it in your
(09:48):
five-year-old mind like I wishyou would try.
So what I've always reallytried to do with all the kids
but I really have done it withthe little guy is do you need a
hug?
Even if I'm frustrated in themoment, I ask him when he's got
big feelings do you need a hug?
So which has led to thesweetest and cutest thing is he
(10:11):
asked for hugs all day long,every day, from everyone.
So it's just something thatwe've done, and my husband and I
were talking about this and weboth felt very fulfilled by that
, because no parent getsanything, right.
But that's one thing I feellike with him, we've really been
able to nurture like do youneed a hug?
(10:32):
So he's going to remember that,hopefully when he's an adult
and still ask for those hugswhen he's an adult, and I want
that to be something that heremembers, that his parents said
to him when he's going throughbig feelings or big emotions.
I know that for me, thealternative of you already gave
(10:55):
you something to cry about justmade me angry, right?
So then you get the biggeremotions on top of it.
Or if someone were to actuallyeven flow through with that and
hit their child or whatever itmay be, but like realizing now
that that's the other person'sreactivity, because I know that
I've been in situations I meanbeing a mother at 25 and a
mother at 35, very differentlevels of reactivity.
(11:17):
I have a lot more tools in mytoolbox this time than I did
before, and I didn't always doit right.
I would never say that to herbecause it was a trauma response
of my own.
But I realize now that I neverreally held that amount of space
for her.
I never really held that amountof space for her, but I do now.
(11:38):
So we always have the abilityto reset and rewind and just
connect with that awareness ofwhat's going on with us.
Because one thing that I'verealized over all of my years is
the reason I am a recovering,people pleaser, fixer, all the
things is I do not like to bearound people suffering, not
that I don't like to be aroundit, but it makes me
(11:58):
uncomfortable inside because itbrings about maybe it's grief,
maybe it's old trauma, maybeit's like the lack of the
helplessness that's found withother people suffering, but
understanding and gaining theknowledge and the tools to
realize.
You know, everyone's journey isdifferent.
Everyone needs to figure outwhat their own coping skills are
, and so it's been really greatpersonally to be able to
(12:19):
navigate those situations withmore self-awareness and
understanding that, if I am Imean, life is not perfect
there's going to be momentswhere someone's having big
feelings and I'm like I can'tfucking deal with this.
I excuse myself, I walk out ofthe room.
I try not to blow up or lose mystuff, and you know.
So just really having that andtaking responsibility for my own
(12:40):
response is very important.
So those are just a few littleexamples.
We always have that ability torewire with gratitude and
appreciation.
One thing that I've mentioned onseveral of my other podcasts is
, you know, growing up Istruggled with eating disorders
and perfectionism paradigm andyou know all of that stuff was.
(13:03):
It was like a protect, it was alayer of protection I was
putting over myself that reallyfueled from like deep down
worthiness issues that I wasgoing through.
So now, instead of and I thinkidentification.
So it was worthiness, but itwas also I was very identified
with being an athlete.
I was very identified withbeing a fitness instructor.
(13:25):
I was very identified withbeing super physically fit.
So those identifications led meinto thought patterns that I
had to hustle.
I had to go.
I had to always be moving mybody intensely to be getting a
good workout.
And one thing recently I haveofficially entered my Pilates
hot yoga era and I'm loving it.
So no more high intensity forme.
(13:47):
I mean never, say never.
I still like a really good HIITclass or something, but I've
been doing this hot yoga sculptclass twice a week.
It's a warm hot room.
I sweat my butt off.
It's amazing, but it's still areally good workout and it's
kind of similar to the way thatI used to teach them a little
partial to our instructor, amyat hot yoga Sarasota.
Amazing, lots of pulses, a lotof booty work, all up my alley
(14:10):
Love it.
And then I walked to Pilates,which is like a mile and a half
away from my house.
So I can make it like a threemile walk, or I can make it like
a six mile walk if I take thelong way and loving it and
knowing that I'm nurturing mybody.
So instead of pre-planning myweek and signing up for, like
all these crazy classes like Iused to like legit in 2016, the
(14:34):
year before I got married, Iwould run with Matt in the
morning, I would go to a cycleclass and I would go to a HIIT
class.
That is like no wonder myadrenals were totally burned out
, but we're nurturing those nowand I'm honoring that.
My body is changing.
I'm honoring that I'm just in anew stage.
So when I wake up I plan onmoving my body.
(14:55):
Like what does that look like?
And every day it changes.
So again, it goes with stoppingthe old patterns.
Like we again had an overnightthis past weekend and they had
this delicious like bread,pudding, gooseberry, french
toast and I'm not really a bigcarb person, especially in the
morning, um, but I tried someand it was delicious.
(15:15):
But I also got the chickensausage on the side because I
wanted to balance it with myprotein, because I just like to
balance my macros like that.
So those are just littleexamples Before.
If I would have had that, Iwould have been like, okay, I
need to sign up for this classor I need to go run before I get
home.
It's just like breaking thosepatterns.
It's like you ate half a pieceof French toast.
You're not going to freaking die, but that was a pattern for me
(15:39):
and it may seem super silly toother people.
I mean, we all have our stuffright.
We just released an episodewith my husband and some reels
talking about alcohol, likegoing out socially, like, oh,
let's go to this favorite placeand get my favorite drink.
Well, I might go to some of thefavorite places, like the Ritz
in Sarasota.
I used to love a good siren.
I would probably die if I dranka siren, if you know.
(16:02):
You know I'm just going to saythat.
But I get a virgin one or I getsomething totally different and
just change it up.
If I get the same coffee orderat ONA Coffee, I'll get
something different the nexttime, even if it's like
switching from oat milk toalmond milk.
It sounds silly, but changingthose patterns are super healthy
for your brain and your abilityto adapt and navigate and I
(16:27):
just feel like I've felt so muchfreedom with the little things
and also not giving myself ahard time if I transition and
make some changes.
So I am infamous forself-sabotage when it comes to
not I set these, I'm going to dothis.
(16:47):
I make a whole checklist forthe day right, and if I don't do
the whole checklist, I'm like Ijust need to do.
That was an old pattern.
That was like three years agome.
So I've really worked hard tolike I'll make a list of my
needs and my wants and my has tolike, have tos, and you know,
if I check off what I check offand guess what, tomorrow's a new
(17:07):
day.
I have complete opportunity tocheck that stuff off a different
day and it's really not thatbig of a deal.
But prioritizing the thingsthat need to get done or the
things that I want to get done,or sometimes prioritizing the
wants over the needs, and that'sokay too, because, again,
changing it up, so we had thisfull moon of 2025, the first
(17:30):
full moon it was January 13th.
We are still coming off thatenergy.
You have a good two weeksaround the full moon.
That is a really energetically.
It's a time to release, it's atime to let go, beginning this
year of a nine year.
It's a conclusion.
So I want to know what are youguys letting go of?
(17:51):
What is it you're releasing inyour own minds, in your own
hearts, in your own you knowtangible world?
Are there things like are yougoing to quit drinking, quit
smoking?
Are you going to change up whatyour routine for your body?
Are you going to change the wayyou drive, to work?
Like, what things are you guystaking the opportunity to let go
(18:13):
of?
And if you're not, why not?
And that's something that I'vehad to ask myself.
I'm like, oh, I'll change thisup.
Maybe not.
And it's like, well, why not?
And sometimes it's okay to keepthe same flow and the same
pattern, but I do encourage youat some point to get to the
(18:35):
place where you're lettingthings go, even if it's purging
things around the house, whichalways feels good.
I feel like after Christmas thisyear, taking everything down, I
really just kind of had a cleanslate and it feels good.
It feels good to have justthings in order and back to
normal and really releasingemotional baggage and welcoming
(19:00):
new beginnings.
So I am the type of person andI'm sure I've mentioned this
before that if I have a cancelFor example, I was supposed to
shoot a podcast with a friendtoday and she had to cancel
Absolutely no problem at all.
I'm going to go in, I'll do alittle quickie by myself, even
if I had to cancel it.
I always look at and I feellike I've always kind of been
this way, but I'm going to go in, I'll do a little quickie by
myself, even if I had to cancelit.
I always look at and I feel likeI've always kind of been this
(19:21):
way, but I'm really steppinginto it and trying to emphasize
it to others, as cancellationsare an opportunity to have some
blank space in your life.
So welcome them with open arms.
I think so often we can getwrapped up in that, oh, but I
wonder why, and like if you've,if you have rejection triggers
(19:43):
or you know things happen thatyou're really looking forward to
.
But I think it goes back tothat like stop setting
expectations and justunderstanding that like life is
happening for you, um, and juststaying open to those moments.
So if I have a cancellation, Iam welcoming the blank space.
I'm trying not to fill thespace, or maybe it is an
(20:04):
opportunity to shift somethingthat you wanted to get done and
just looking at it as, um, aplace of growth and involvement,
whether it's thought patterns,whether it's what you do with
that time.
And I know that one thing I'mjust trying to be really
intentional about making sure Ihave a lot of downtime, not too
much, but a good balanceDowntime time for myself, time
(20:27):
for my family, time for my jobs.
I was in an event today.
Actually, my husband and I werehonored by an organization we
work with Children, first forphilanthropy, and it was really
great to be in a room full ofnonprofits and business leaders
(20:50):
and people in our community thattruly find joy in selfless
giving, and I think that that'ssomething, something even when
my life looked very differentthan it does now, and I talk
about this a lot and I did apodcast with my husband.
He has a podcast called MattBell Legacy.
Actually, he has two Matt BellLegacy and Matt Bell Limitless.
(21:12):
But I'm going to be on hislegacy podcasts and he kind of
interviews me like who isCrystal, what are you all about?
What are your goals, what areyour dreams?
You know all this, all thethings, and one thing that
really hit me when I was talkingabout that.
It's like he's like well, howdo you feel right now and I had
to think about it for a moment Ifeel really fulfilled, like I
(21:33):
think this, this podcast, hasbeen great.
It's almost like my verbaljournal.
I get to talk to you guys, Iget great feedback from most of
the episodes and have questions,and I love that and I love the
interaction and love that.
If one episode hits one person,that's my purpose for it,
that's the intention.
(21:54):
So, when it comes to beinginvolved with people or
organizations, I do it from aplace of appreciation and
gratitude A for the opportunityto have this type of platform to
do it, but also just realizinghow fulfilling and how happy it
makes me to do something.
(22:15):
I remember when I was poor incollege, I always gave to St
Jude Children's ResearchHospital.
I had not a lot to give.
I would send like 20 or 30bucks or something like that
every now and then, and theyalways send me these cute little
return address labels.
But I always felt good about it, I was doing something.
And so if you feel like you'restuck in a rut and not sure what
(22:37):
to do, maybe look atopportunities like that.
And one of the things that theyleft us with which is the
reason I brought this up is theymentioned at the end like I'm
not going to give an ask.
You know, like your typicalnonprofit event would be,
there's no ask for a donation oranything he said.
I asked that you reach out toone person, call someone don't
(23:02):
text them call someone youhaven't talked to in at least
three months and have aconversation with them.
And I really was thinking aboutlike, well, who am I going to
call?
And I might call multiple, I'msure I will probably eventually
call multiple people, but Ireally liked that.
I'm sure I will probablyeventually call multiple people,
but I really liked that.
(23:25):
So when we talk about giving anddoing something different or
challenging ourselves, it couldbe something as small as making
a phone call we haven't made ina while because we get, I think
so wrapped up in this easycommunication of text messaging
or social media messaging oremailing, that I'm still that
person at work that callseveryone because I just like to
talk to people, when I coulddefinitely send an email and
(23:47):
email thread and half the timeit's like, okay, well, can you
send this to me in an email too,because we have to loop like
five people in and you knowwhatever.
I still like that humaninteraction and it's good for us
.
We're built, built for that.
Like humans, we need connectionand we need those situations
that bring us, that lift us upand or do a kind deed for
someone, like I know I did apodcast a while ago with another
(24:11):
one with Hallie Young, and wetalked about, like you know, if
you're going through theChick-fil-A line or the
Starbucks line, like pay for theperson behind you if you can,
or you know just little things Iknow.
After Christmas I was justpurging a lot of the stuff in
the fridge and we just had allthis leftover junk People send
you.
It's beautiful and thank you somuch if you sent it, but like
(24:33):
the chocolate covered this andthe chocolate covered that, I am
a chocolate lover but I cannotbe surrounded by it all the time
in my house.
I got to purge so I took itdown to like a Rosemary district
in Sarasota and gave it away.
There's like a Salvation Armyand I just like put it out the
window like pillows I didn'tneed anymore and you know it
might not be as safe in yourarea, but I know these folks.
They used to drive right downthe school for my daughter's
(24:53):
school or right down the streetfrom my daughter's school.
But, yeah, just do something foryourself or for others.
That makes you feel good.
So that's just really what Iwanted to jump on today to
encourage you to see opportunityand change.
Allow yourself time forstillness, and we don't always
(25:15):
have to be chasing next.
I think there is somethingreally beautiful about taking a
moment to have gratitude foreverything in your life without
chasing or going on to next, andI think that's what I'm going
to leave you with today.
Short and sweet one.
It's been great to connect, asalways.
(25:37):
I asked some questions in thisepisode, so I would love for you
to comment, reply, email,whatever and what topics do you
want to hear about?
Let's hear.
What is it you guys want totalk about in 2025?
Let's hear more of that.
Peace.
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