April 17, 2025 • 58 mins
What happens when you've tried everything to get pregnant and nothing works? Taylor Brewster, owner of Fresh Salon in downtown Sarasota, shares her deeply personal five-year struggle with unexplained infertility in this moving conversation about persistence, medical advocacy, and finding answers in unexpected places.
From the beginning of her marriage at 25, Taylor knew something wasn't right when pregnancy didn't happen naturally. Despite being young, fit, and seemingly healthy, she faced a frustrating journey through conventional fertility treatments. Four unsuccessful rounds of intrauterine insemination, a diagnosis of endometriosis, and constant pressure to pursue expensive IVF treatments led to anxiety, physical symptoms, and emotional exhaustion. All while watching friends and family around her celebrate pregnancies and births.
The turning point came through an unlikely source—a Reddit comment that introduced her to reproductive immunology, a specialized field with only five practitioners in the United States. Testing revealed what mainstream fertility specialists had missed: her body was producing antibodies that attacked her own ovaries, along with multiple clotting disorders affecting implantation. With a precisely targeted treatment protocol addressing her immune system rather than pumping her full of hormones, Taylor conceived naturally just two cycles later.
This episode explores not just the medical journey, but the profound emotional impact of infertility on relationships, identity, and mental health. Taylor's husband emerges as the unexpected hero, stepping up to nurture and support her through the darkest moments. Their story offers hope to the many couples facing similar struggles, highlighting alternative pathways when conventional medicine fails to provide answers.
Listen, share, and join the conversation about breaking taboos around infertility. Taylor's courage in sharing her story might just provide the missing piece for someone else's journey to parenthood.
Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring my story and my guests. If something touched your heart please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up everyone, welcome to this episode of
Crystal Clear.
I have a beautiful, stunning myfavorite Gingy.
Owner of Fresh Salon, downtownSarasota boutique owner, wife
and now a brand new mommy, mrsTaylor Brewster.
Welcome, taylor, hi.
(00:20):
Thank you so much for having meon.
Of course, I mean Taylor, and Imet what?
Probably five years ago now,because Brody's almost five and
you know, when you sit, she isthe creative hair artist behind
my blonde locks of all differentshapes and sizes.
When you sit with someone in achair and I realized this when I
(00:44):
was a fitness trainer like youyou get to know them on a
different level for the hoursand hours that we spend together
.
Oh yeah, it's way beyond hair,it's way beyond hair and it's
really a special bond that likewhen you find your person, and I
don't really like to switchpeople, although we we made it
work when she went on maternityleave.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
It worked out great.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I had a really good sub person for a little while.
Now she's pregnant and so I'mgoing to be shifting back.
There's a lot going on in thewater at Fresh, so when you go
to Fresh Salon be careful whatto drink.
But we really got to know eachother on really deep levels and
you know me, me I'm personableanyway, but I just I really
appreciate you holding space forme.
(01:26):
I mean, of course, we startedout when I had just dove into,
like what the f is like supposedto be like now after postpartum
, and you're what, how old isMurph now?
Three months, three months,okay, so three months old.
So you know, I mean, you knowexactly, and it was like I
(01:47):
didn't know, up from down andall around and dealing with my
own body, my mind, my spirit, mymarriage, all the things.
So we'll, we'll back it up alittle bit and just tell us a
little bit about Fresh, like youbought the salon last year
while you were pregnant.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So my business partner and I we've been a part
of the company for 10 years nowand we both started as
associates.
So we started at the bottom ofthe barrel, worked our way up,
built our clientele, becamemaster stylists and then we just
had the opportunity this yearto take over and purchase the
(02:24):
business.
And then I found out 10 daysbefore we closed that I was
pregnant.
That was interesting, it's liketwo babies at once.
It all happened how it wassupposed to, so it's been
amazing and just such a blessingand a learning experience.
I'm sure?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Oh my gosh, yeah, your husband owns a business
right down the street.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
So you've done the whole business ownership thing.
But this is a little differentballgame.
Yeah, and like in life, youthink you have a specific
threshold, but when more thingscome along, you build endurance
and you just like find a way toget through.
So it's cool.
When you think it's too much,it's usually not Right.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
You just got to figure it out too much for older
versions of you, but now you'renew and you're a mom, so just
wait, sister, just wait.
And there's, I'm sure, beenebbs and flows and ups and downs
.
I love the rebrand of Fresh.
It is just so fun and just likemodern, but still like.
It's just such a good vibe,like you walk in and it's just I
(03:32):
don't know.
It's beautiful, I love it, Ilove the plants.
And then you have a littleboutique off to the side, so
tell us a little bit about thatas well.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Yeah, so gosh 2022,.
I started an e-commerceboutique business with my
sister-in-law, so that's beenrunning strong for a couple of
years now, and when I purchasedthe salon, we were able to have
the opportunity to turn thatinto more of a brick and mortar,
so it's been great.
(03:59):
It's a fun addition.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
It's always fun to be able to touch and feel, and I
know in my busy life sometimesit's hard to be like, oh, I need
to go check out this website,and so to have it in front of
you is like ooh Right.
I need that.
I know I really don't need that, but I'm going to get it anyway
.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
And then when I get home, I'm going to purge
something.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
So my new thing is I know I don't need it, but I'm
going to buy it anyway.
But I'm going to make sure Ipurge something when I get home,
so that way I need to do that?
Yeah, it's been.
I did that this week andactually I went through, pulled
out all of my I just did onesection at a time, just for
sanity's sake.
All my dresses, I pulled themall out, I tried them all on.
I'm like where, well, is it alittle too snug, because maybe
(04:42):
it might fit a little better,and like you know.
So just just balancing what Ineed, what I want how many times
have I worn this?
How many times I had picturesin this, you know?
and then you kind of purge it,yeah, I think I was really
inspired by the spark fashionshow last week to get rid of
stuff because it goes to such agreat cause.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
So it was like that helped.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I think like oh, it's not just going to anyone, it's
going to these women.
That really you know, needassistance.
So, as we mentioned, you knowwe have gotten to know each
other on a deeper level andwe've grown together, I mean the
past five years we've gonethrough.
You know I've started businesses.
You know all the things thatwe're sitting here trying.
(05:19):
I think I'm gonna start apodcast or I think I'm gonna do
this, I think I'm gonna do thatand it's really been a beautiful
ebb and flow.
Meanwhile, we also discussed alot of what was going on with us
health wise.
You know, as I mentionedpostpartum, and you know,
understanding my PTSD and thebrain scans.
I mean, you were one of theonly people that I was like
(05:41):
super open with that to beginwith, because it's like sitting
there, I might as well talkabout it.
So, you know, I feel like we've,we were able to relate to each
other on different levels withthings we were going through,
and I know that you had aspecial intention today or
wanting to come on the podcastand really share your journey,
(06:01):
so I will let you begin whereveryou'd like, it's National
Infertility Awareness Week,april 20th, and I felt like this
was the perfect outlet to talkabout my infertility journey.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
So we really appreciate you having me on,
because I feel like if I caneven just help one person with
my story, like it just wouldmean the world to me, because I
know every emotion and physicalhardship that comes with
infertility.
So I really appreciate beinghere.
(06:37):
Yeah, so, gosh, I guess I'lljust start from the beginning.
But 2019, my husband and I gotmarried and, you know, you're in
marital bliss and everything'sfantastic.
Life is good.
He had just purchased hisbusiness, and so that was
awesome.
We were motivated, pumped.
(06:59):
We do have a bit of an age gap.
He's 15 years older than me, soright off the bat, we were like
, let's just stop preventing andsee what happens, even if it
takes six months, whatever.
I was 25 at the time, so I'mlike, oh, it'll be perfect
timing.
So, yeah, we just got to it.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah, we just got to it and six months went by and I
started to think, you know, Ijust like feel deep down, like
something is up, I feel likesomething is not right because I
didn't even have, you know, alate period or a positive
pregnancy test.
So, um, I mean, you were reallyfit and healthy at the time, so
it wasn't like you had any typeof alarming exterior like to
look at you.
You were totally completely fit, healthy, 25 year old.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Yeah, and I've always prioritized my health and being
active, and so it was verydiscouraging because you know
I'm out here taking care ofmyself and you know there's drug
users that accidentally getpregnant and you know you just
ask yourself why me?
You know it really sucks.
But so I booked an appointmentwith my OB and typically OBs if
(08:23):
you're under, I think, 30, theywon't even talk to you until
it's been a year aboutinfertility.
So I fibbed a little bit and Isaid you know it's been a year,
we've been trying and justnothing's happened.
So they ran all the preliminarytesting hormone testing, thyroid
, you know all the typical eggreserve.
(08:45):
They checked my tubes to see ifthey were clogged with anything
.
They were good to go and thenwhen my OB could no longer help
me, they sent me off to afertility specialist in Tampa.
So they did a sperm analysis onmy husband and they kind of did
some more blood tests on me andthey were like, yeah, you're
(09:09):
pretty much perfect on paper.
We have no idea why this isn'thappening for you.
So you know I asked aboutendometriosis because my whole
life I've had excruciatingcycles Like I can't tell you how
much school I missed in highschool and that's not normal, no
, no.
And doctors would just say, oh,just take a few ibuprofen,
(09:31):
you're okay, you know.
And now, knowing that I do haveendometriosis, uh, it takes a
woman on average seven years toget diagnosed, which is alarming
and that's modern day protocol.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah Right, medical gaslighting.
I know my body.
I'm telling you, something iswrong with my body and you are
not hearing me, which is, for me, the ultimate trigger.
Like you're not hearing me,you're not understanding.
Like I'm telling you it is not.
And I think that's one thingthat really gets me is like okay
, this might be on paper norm,but on paper norm isn't even
(10:08):
norm.
Like it's not, it's what we'vesettled for, it's what things
have digressed to medically,honestly, from different
perspectives.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
And unfortunately, women's bodies are not
researched as much as theyshould be, so they don't know as
much as they should about thesetypes of things.
And so my husband and I, afterthe fertility specialist,
recommended IUI, that'sintrauterine insemination.
(10:42):
So we did four medicated roundsof that and that's where they
essentially control your cycle.
They trigger your ovulation,they find the perfect hour to
inseminate you.
It's like a whole processSounds sexy.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Sounds real sexy, super sexy.
It sounds really sexy yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
My husband rubbing one out in the morning is just
great.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Say hello, guys, we're on our way.
Come on, guys, you got it.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah, we did four rounds of that and let me just
tell you the hormones you haveto take, just the medications
that they give you.
It truly like you're notyourself and it you gain weight,
you just feel terrible.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
It's a shock to your system because it's all at once
right, right and your cycleswere essentially normal, other
than like the pain.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
So normal, just pain.
I mean I was throwing uppassing out and this is from a
young teenager.
Oh yeah, from like two cycles in.
Oh wow, I was probably I don'tknow 13, 13, 14.
Yeah, it's been insane sincethen, and so that alone.
(11:59):
So we did the four rounds ofIUI and you know, I asked the
specialist.
I was like, hey, listen, likeI've had really really painful
cycles my whole entire life.
Can we please kind of look intoendometriosis, like could that
possibly be the cause of myinfertility?
And they were like, oh no, justkeep doing a couple more IUIs.
(12:21):
The odds of you gettingpregnant with IUIs is a lot
higher than endometriosis.
And I was like okay, if thescience says so, you know.
But my pain was still beingdismissed and it was just so
frustrating.
So after the four IUIs didn'twork, I was like, all right,
(12:44):
there's got to be something.
I need to look into gettingsurgery for endometriosis
because no matter what a doctorsays to you, truly it can only
be diagnosed with surgery.
So they won't know if you haveit until they're in there.
So that was our next plan ofaction.
I went through a laparoscopicsurgery.
(13:04):
It was really, really hard.
I had like a solid two weekswhere I was bedridden.
My husband had to shower me.
Like it was very humbling.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, it was everywhere.
Once they got in there, it wason both of my ovaries behind my
uterus.
Was it like cysts?
Ovaries behind my uterus Is itlike cysts?
(13:29):
So endometriosis is essentiallyuterine tissue that grows
outside of the uterus.
So they don't know why ithappens, but essentially, when
you have your cycle, that tissueleaves the normal way, how it's
supposed to With endometriosis.
It can go back up through yourtubes and implant on other
organs.
So it's not a reproductivedisease.
They've found endometriosis onbrain tissue.
(13:50):
They've found it on hearttissue.
It truly can travel anywhere inthe body, which is terrifying
because so many women have itand it can affect so many
different systems in the body.
So I was very thankful thatthey removed all of it from my
body and my doctor in Orlandohe's a specialist and he does
(14:13):
more of excision surgery, wherethey completely cut it out
rather than just burning it.
Sometimes doctors will doablation and it just grows back.
I feel like that would leavescar tissue as well, right?
So, um, we got all of that outof my body and I was like this
is it?
Like this is the cause of myinfertility?
Um, I immediately my firstcycle.
(14:36):
He was like you know, yourfirst cycle after it's going to
be really painful because you'rehealing, blah, blah, blah.
My first cycle was amazing.
I, yeah, and I'm like justhaving that out of my body, I
felt so much better.
My brain was clearer, myhormones just felt more level,
more balanced.
(14:56):
Like I, my gastrointestinalsystem was better, so much was
better, and I was like this isit you know we're going to get
pregnant now?
Like this was the cause.
So, a year goes by, I'm stillnot pregnant.
The fertility clinic is houndingme to do IVF.
(15:18):
They're like you know, it'syour only answer, even though
you only have a 60% chance of itworking, because we don't know
what's wrong with you and I'mlike, no, I'm not going to do
something so invasive.
Which IUI was hard enough?
Ivf, gosh anyone.
(15:38):
That's the difference, okay.
So IVF, you is way moreinvasive.
So they put you on all thesehormones, all these medications.
They make you have like a superovulation, um, they put you
through surgery to collect youreggs from your body and then
they fertilize the egg in a lab,okay, and then they implant it
(15:58):
inside of you Even sexier, yeahright, it's really fabulous for
people that are trying to sortout certain genetic disorders
like breast cancer.
The BRCA gene.
I have some friends who havedone IVF to make sure that their
children don't have that.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Which is like medical miracle stuff.
Like not to discount the factthat this is great for certain
special populations, but alsonot necessarily for everyone.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah.
So a year goes by and thefertility clinic is still
hounding me to do IVF and I'mjust like I don't want to do
this.
I don't feel good about this.
It doesn't feel right.
You know why am I going tospend all this money doing IVF
when you can't give me even adiagnosis?
So I absolutely lost my mind.
(16:51):
You know I developed an anxietydisorder.
You know, when you're goingthrough something like that,
we're biologically built toreproduce and when you can't do
that as a woman, you just feelso broken.
And I went through a chapterwhere you know I had probably
(17:12):
four or five friends and familymembers get pregnant within a
five week period.
And as much as you say like, ohmy gosh, I'm so happy for you,
like you can be so happy forsomeone and still feel so, so
sorry for yourself, and itreally affected a lot of my
relationships with friends andfamily.
(17:33):
You know you start to feel likepeople are outgrowing you,
outgrowing your relationship.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Or even timid and scared to be around you, like
they don't want to share theirnews because they don't want to
hurt you or or you know likejust kind of like, it's like you
can be yourself around me, butthen again it's like but I don't
want to be around you.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I could see the push pull and that would be so
difficult, right, because I wantto be a part of your life.
You know you're going throughsomething so fabulous.
I can still feel sorry formyself on my own, but like I
want to hear about your, yourkid, you know.
And then, yeah, it reallyaffects your friendships as well
(18:12):
, because you're no longer like,oh, hey, let's go to the bar
Saturday night.
It's like, hey, when I go for awalk around Marina Jack with
our babies you know they'rereally not right now, yeah,
you're just in a differentchapter with people and it's
hard because you were what late20s at this point.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
And so that's that.
It's like the baby boom, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Almost yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
And so that's that.
It's like the baby boom phasealmost of life.
It's like every.
I could imagine that that'sreally hard, plus being in the
salon all the time, so you'resurrounded by women constantly
talking about their families andall the things.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Which I have to tell you, speaking with so many women
on a daily basis.
It's insane how commoninfertility is right now and
it's so sad and heartbreaking.
Miscarriage, I think, has gonefrom one in four to one in three
now.
And I can't tell you why I'm nota doctor or a scientist but I
(19:09):
know it's terrible and it's sohard in a physical aspect but
also an emotional aspect.
It's just there's no tellinglike how you should navigate
that because everyone'sexperience is different.
But yeah, so I absolutely lostmy mind.
I I did five months ofacupuncture.
(19:32):
I did every diet you canimagine.
I got in the best shape of mylife.
I tried literally everything.
I cut out gluten.
I cut out it actually put me ina place where I was even more
(19:58):
anxious than before because, Iwas like I I've got to find the
answer.
I'm such an analytical personand I have to know the why for
everything, and it's greatlybenefited me in my life.
But it's also caused me a lotof anxiety too, because when I
don't know that why, I'm like Ijust feel so lost.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
It's like, honestly it's, it sounds like it's almost
like a form of PTSD, like youhave this traumatic stress in
your life, right, and it's, andif it's continual for a certain
for a long period, it's like you.
What I know for my own journeyis like the thought patterns.
Well it's like you keep goingthrough those same diamond
patterns of thoughts and it'slike, but why?
But I'm doing this and this andthis, and so why isn't this
(20:42):
happening?
It's kind of that cause andeffect, like why?
So I mean kudos for you forbeing able to get to the point
where you're like I, something'sgoing to give yeah Like I,
something's going to give yeahLike I.
So what was that point for you?
What was that?
Like I can't do this anymore.
Something has to change.
Like I'm at my breaking point.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
So it started to physically manifest in my body.
My anxiety took over.
I essentially became anagoraphobe.
I could not leave my house.
I was so terrified.
My stomach was always upset.
I could not leave my house, Iwas so terrified, my stomach was
(21:38):
always upset.
I developed gastroparesis outof nowhere and that is we know
is either.
But I knew, I knew it was, uh,my nervous system.
I had just like run myself intothe ground looking for answers.
Um, so I just decided, you knowI, I want to get to the bottom
of my health issues, but first Ineed to just chill the fuck out
, right, right.
My health, ultimately, is moreimportant than conceiving a
(22:01):
child in that moment, right, um.
So I just spent time doingnothing.
I spent time on rests.
I cut back taking clients, um,clients.
I really took myself out ofthis place where I felt like I
(22:22):
always had to be productive andI just let myself be lazy.
You started nurturing yourselffrom the inside out.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Right.
Yeah, and giving yourselfpermission to do that alone is
really hard.
Yeah, so hard, and that'ssomething that people don't talk
about as much as we should talkabout, like giving yourself
permission to come out of that,doing success driven.
I need to be productive all thetime, like mentality that we've
(22:49):
all had, I feel like in someway, shape or form, except for
my daughter, I don't know why.
She's the most laid back person, which is good.
Hopefully I haven't shed myshit on her since.
Maybe I broke that cycle.
She is such a level-headed girlshe really is I don't know Way
more than I am, but that is huge, yeah.
And for you to know, like ifanything's going to happen, this
(23:10):
has got to change, yeah, so youtook that initiative to
yourself, for yourself, to giveyourself the rest I had to.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
If I didn't, who knows Like I would have
continued to just get sicker andsicker because I created that,
which is so crazy to think thatyour mind can physically
manifest and create diseasewithin your body.
It was just terrifying and Ijust wasn't going to allow it to
(23:38):
happen anymore.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Good for you and like , meanwhile, how did this affect
your relationship with yourhusband?
Like what was kind of his,obviously not to necessarily
speak for him, but from his kindof vantage point.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Well, going through infertility to begin with is
terrible.
On marriage, like no one wantsto schedule sex yeah, no, no.
We got to a point where both ofus didn't want to do it.
Right.
I'm like it's fine, let's go.
You know, let's get it overwith right, which is so terrible
.
Right, you know you want toenjoy that part of your marriage
(24:15):
for sure.
But yeah, and just him watchingme shut down I think kind of
made him take a step back andreally it actually brought out
his nurturing side and hispatient side, Because it's
(24:35):
frustrating when someone's notkeeping up like they used to
just on a daily basis.
But he started to realize likewhoa, like she needs me right
now.
So it was that part was greatfor our marriage because we've
always been huge oncommunication.
My husband and I likeconstantly have check-ins.
(24:57):
We talk about the good, the bad, Um, so leaving that
communication open and sayinglike, hey, I'm struggling, Like
I need you to hold my weightright now.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
For someone like you like I know you personally it's
hard for you to say that likeyou know it's hard to get to the
point.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I'm a Capricorn girl personally.
It's hard for you to say that.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Like you know, it's hard to get to the point, I'm a
Capricorn girl, right.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
So even just being like hey, can you just do my
laundry, you know like that'shard for me, but he bucked up
and he got shit done.
That man has done so manydishes and loads of laundry and
he really yeah, he's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
But that is so special, because that doesn't
happen in all situations youknow that can be the make or
break.
So that really speaks to howmuch he loves you and how much
he, you know, understands andhas compassion for the woman
that you are, and understanding.
That like and that to me islike when marriage really starts
(25:56):
to grow, like when you getthrown in the thick of it, which
we all do at some point in time.
So he truly is a life partner.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Like I love.
Just.
It ultimately made us stronger,which was so great, because in
those situations it goes one wayor the other Right there is no.
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I mean you can freeze Because it's also traumatic for
him to go through all of it.
So he could have, you know,fought it, he could have
flighted, he could have tried toleave the situation.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
He could have froze.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah, but he chose to really dive in and truly be
your partner, and I think thatthat is another reason that you
were able to heal so muchthrough the situation.
Is having that type of supportso true?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
And maybe on the outside, looking in, you could
say it appeared as though wewere going through maybe a
roommate phase, but essentiallyon the inside, but essentially
on the inside from an emotionalstandpoint, we built such an
intimacy in that, even thoughthe physical wasn't there,
(27:01):
because we were both just sophysically stressed out from the
whole process- I mean, you know, when we're in our 90s,
hopefully we all make it there.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Yeah, it happens that way anyway.
So if you, can get a littledose of that when you're
supposed to be at your, yourfeistiest stage of life.
It's, it's an attestment tolike the future.
Like you know, you have morethan just the you know quote
unquote norm or what you think asituation might be like, right.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
So so I started from there.
I started healing.
I really just tried to be asnatural as possible.
I saw a lot of naturopaths andI had a lot of naturopathic
testing done and I found outthat I have a gene mutation
called MTHFR, which a lot ofpeople have it.
(27:50):
A lot of people have heard ofit, but to me it was, you know,
completely new.
I'm like, okay, what the heckis this?
This has to be related somehow.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
You were the reason I got tested for it.
No, and I have it yeah.
That is so funny?
Yeah, because it's essentiallylike you don't methylate certain
things, like you don't absorbcertain things.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yeah, especially like minerals, the way that other
people might Right, yeah, thatvitamin B and folate and all of
that, yeah.
So I, from there, I was like,okay, I feel like I'm on the
verge of something, but I was,you know, deep into therapy.
At this point I'm like I'm notgoing to push myself back into
(28:30):
this anxious state.
We're just going to kind oflook into it, analyze it, but
it's not going to be my wholeidentity and so I.
It's so crazy that this is evencoming out of my mouth.
But I was on a subreddit onReddit and someone was talking
(28:55):
about the relation ofinfertility and MTHFR and I was
like, oh, I did not realize thiswas related.
And someone commented you needto look into reproductive
immunology not to be confusedwith reproductive endocrinology.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
So not hormones more internal.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
More the immune system.
Immune system.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Yes, which, if our immune system, as most of us
these days, have some sort ofautoimmune something going on
because we're exposed to all ofthe toxins and all of the things
, right?
I mean, it's really hard tocome by someone that doesn't
have some sort of immunesituation.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, and actually endometriosis acts as an
autoimmune, because it's yourown tissues attacking the body.
Essentially, Maybe notattacking the body, but harming
(30:00):
the body in a way, because it'stissue that doesn't belong on
the heart or on the intestinesor wherever it ends up.
But so I did some Googlesearching and I figured out
there are five reproductiveimmunologists in the US, which,
like whoa, has to be a new fieldof medicine, because I've never
heard of this before.
If there's only five peoplethat do it like, tell me more
Like.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
I need to know.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
So I figured out that there was a doctor, a doctor
who bees in Kissimmee, nearOrlando, and I would not have my
baby girl without him.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I remember this whole stage.
I'm going to cry.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Yeah, so thankfully with.
So if you go to a typicalfertility clinic, it's a cash
cow.
It's not covered by insurance,right?
Speaker 1 (30:41):
They're there Hundreds of thousands of dollars
, depending on how deep you gothey're there to make money, and
I mean, aren't we all?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
but anyway, um and so immunologists they you've
already gone through all of thehormone testing, the thyroid
testing, the physiologicalfactors and when they look at
your immunology relating tofertility, they're looking at
gene mutations, they're lookingat blood clotting disorders,
(31:12):
they're looking at certainantibody markers that you have
in your body.
So, thankfully, with thereproductive immunologist, all
of it was virtual, so I haveactually never met him in person
.
Oh, wow, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
That's really cool.
So you would do the labs hereand send him away and he would
read that yeah, so shout out tomy OB, dr Cash.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
She's amazing.
She collaborated with him, withyou know, doing all of the
testing that required him to getme a diagnosis, and now is she
the OB you started this journeywith or did you switch?
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Okay, yeah, and she's been fantastic.
She's been with you the wholeway which is great, and I'm sure
she's learned a lot, which iswhat our Western medicine
doctors need to understand.
So I'm loving this likesynergetic collaboration,
because this is what we needmore of, and the fact that she's
willing to work with them aswell, because, you know, she
could have easily been like, ohno, you know, fired you as a
(32:06):
patient or something.
You never know and meanwhile,this is all through, like COVID
and stuff too, Like throughpandemic.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
you were able to break through all of these
barriers to get to this spot soyeah, and so, uh, she actually
told me at some of my postpartumappointments that she passed
his contact on to some peopleand he's been able to help them.
So, um, okay, where did I leaveoff?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
No, sorry, Um, so you met him, your markers, so
they're.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
What they're looking for is the immunology he did
many ultrasounds different typesof ultrasounds so where they
inject your uterus with salineand they see if there's any
abnormalities.
They did a test calledendometritis, where they take a
biopsy of your uterus andapparently it's a chronic
(33:02):
infection that can cause chronicinflammation in the uterus.
So they ruled that out.
They ruled out any polyps.
I had extensive blood testingdone.
I actually passed out becauseit was 27 vials.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I was like are we surethis is okay?
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Five gallon bucket full of my blood over there.
Can I have some back the blog?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
mess was like yeah, this is fine.
I'm like okay, cause I feellike I'm not going to be
conscious in one more vial.
Did you have to fast for it?
Yes, yeah, yeah, which Iprobably could have had a little
more water, but it's okay.
So he tested for sevendifferent gene mutations.
I ended up testing positive forthree of them, and they all are
(33:48):
in relation to clottingdisorders as well, which can
cause implantation failure.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Okay, so, I was also severely vitamin D deficient
which I mean I'm pale as hell.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
So no surprise there, I never go outside.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Well, we don't get it through our food like we used
to, because our food isn't grownthe way it's used to.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Yeah, so I was severely vitamin D deficient.
I had the MTHFR, which is oneof them that he tests for.
I also had one called PI1,which is a clotting disorder.
It's actually very dangerous.
Thankfully I didn't testpositive for both copies, it was
just one copy, so I don't havean actual bleeding disorder, but
(34:34):
it was affecting my fertility.
And then factor 13 as well wasone of them, which I don't know
nothing about it, but it affectsmy fertility.
And then he tests for all ofthese antibodies too, and I
tested positive for somethingcalled anti-ovarian antibodies.
(34:54):
So I literally had antibodiesattacking my ovaries.
Yeah, wow, I know.
So on ultrasounds, I had thesefat, juicy, beautiful eggs Great
.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
But they were under attack.
Yeah, they were under attack.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
So the quality, like no sperm is going to fertilize
that.
No, you had like soldierswaiting there to attack all the
things and I had never had apregnancy, a positive pregnancy
test, in five years.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Okay, so you had never gone through actual
insemination implantation andthen lost a baby.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Yeah, I have never had a miscarriage which was
crazy to think about.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
You know, like something's interrupting, but
again back to the root cause,and here you go, right.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
So I started medication and he put me on.
I don't want to give my exactprotocol just because we're
obviously not diagnosing here.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
But he put me on some steroids, some blood thinners,
and we retested everything andit was perfect.
It was exactly where he wantedit and he gave us the green
light to start trying, becauseyou are not allowed to try until
he gives you the green light.
Because he doesn't want you tostart too early and then
(36:11):
potentially miscarry.
So we got the green light.
Two cycles in I was pregnant.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Oh, my gosh After five years, naturally.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
I mean this is no hormones.
No hormones.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
This is just rebalancing, recalibrating your
insides after digging deep tofind the root which you knew
there was a root.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
I know there's always a root deep to find the root,
which you knew there was a root.
There's always a root Right.
So I was in disbelief and welaugh about it now because my
husband's birthday is December14th, mine's January 15th and we
both were like you know, wehated having our birthdays
around Christmas.
We're not going to have aChristmas baby.
We got to make sure we don'ttry like when it's going to be
(36:55):
those months, and we trulyweren't trying Like that was the
month we did not schedule yeah,anything, like we just let it
flow Right.
And here I am pregnant.
So it was.
Yeah, it was crazy.
I was actually at my nephew'sfirst birthday and there were so
(37:16):
many babies there and as fun asit was, you know, seeing my
nephew grow, there's a part ofyou at an event like that.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
That's like poor me you know it's like am I ever
going to get this opportunity?
Is this ever going to be us?
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Yeah.
So I left that party, went to abar by myself, had a fat
margarita, and I went home and Iwas like I'm just going to take
a pregnancy test, like yeah,just for fun, I've wasted enough
of them, what's one more?
And I actually took it, left itin the bathroom, forgot about
(37:52):
it for like two hours and then Icame back in the bathroom and I
was like shut up, there's noway.
It was very clearly positiveand I was like there's no way.
So I went to Target.
I got like 20 more differentbrands.
All of them were positive, eventhe digitals and it was.
It wasn't even time for mycycle yet.
(38:14):
So I was like in shock.
It was so early.
I think I was like 10 days postbeing off of my period.
It was like super early.
I was like there's no way.
Yeah, Um, yeah.
And so it was positive.
My husband was at work and ofcourse he had a busy night at
the bar, so he was there till2am so I went to sleep.
(38:36):
I didn't even tell him.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
You didn't even tell him.
Oh my God, I don't think.
Especially if I had had a bigfat margarita, I would have been
like you're never going tobelieve this.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, I would have like gone up like look at all
this.
How did you keep it a secret?
And then the guilt set in andI'm like, oh crap, I just had so
much alcohol.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
But whatever, most people don't really find out
they're pregnant until a littleways in.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah.
So, um, the next morning I puttogether this like cute little
box with some shoes and whatever, um, and the positive tests,
and um, I had just bought mysalon and I was like I was on
the phone with my businesspartner and she's like wait, do
(39:21):
you still want to do this, areyou sure?
I'm like yes, of course.
Like I, which I would not havepurchased a salon if I had
gotten pregnant any sooner thanthat like if I already had a
baby.
Yeah, knowing what I know nowlike it's hard, it's hard to
prioritize both, but I trulybelieve that that happened in
(39:44):
the timing that it needed to.
It always does, because I'm sograteful to have both.
It's been so much fun.
I am so happy to step away frommy own business to help other
people grow in theirs, and Ifeel like that's truly my
purpose and it's truly a newchapter for you, right?
(40:05):
And so I'm so grateful that thetiming happened how it did.
But what was I saying?
The little box you told him ohyeah.
So I was, like you know, tryingto play it off, all cool, and
the box was closed and I waslike, hey, check out this sample
(40:25):
I got for the salon, orsomething Like.
What do you think?
of this tile or I don't evenremember what I said, but he was
like what do you mean?
What is this?
And he opened it up.
He's like half awake because hewas just up so late.
And he opened it up and he'slike no, you're joking, like
this is not real.
And we both just kind of brokedown.
(40:46):
It was like such a specialmoment.
But, yeah, we were in truedisbelief, like because even
though we had that positivepregnancy test and later had a
positive blood test it's likewhat people don't talk about is
you worry so much, even when youare already pregnant, because
(41:09):
miscarriage is so common, youknow, and after five years you
almost like gaslight yourself,like I don't deserve this.
You know, like it's been solong, like why would it work?
Now, you know, so I gosh, forthe first half of my pregnancy I
(41:29):
was expecting to miscarry.
So it was.
It was hard for us to tell ourfamily and like announce to
friends because we were like atany moment this could be taken
away from us.
So it was very terrifying.
But that little girl man, herscans were perfect and beautiful
(41:50):
.
And that's one great thingabout my immunologist is he
watches you with what's itcalled.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Magnifying glass.
He watches you with amagnifying glass.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Yeah, so he.
Every single week I was gettingultrasounds and and that's
reassuring to just hear theheartbeat right here.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Even with brony I was 35, so it's considered
geriatric, which was greatbecause I got that I know right,
really old, um, but I got tosee him so much like way more 25
.
They're just like oh yeah, seeyou 38 weeks right yeah, not
really, but so every single weekhe would.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
He had me do blood tests and ultrasounds and at the
six-week mark, I want to say, Ideveloped something called a
subchorionic hematoma, which anyOB would tell you like oh, it's
normal, it's just a little sackof blood, it's normal to have
some bleeding, it'll go away onits own, like external bleeding
(43:02):
or internal it?
Comes out of you, yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, okay, so that had to be terrifying.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Which is terrifying yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
It's like your first thought is miscarriage.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Yeah, yeah, right.
So which I had had some friendsand family that I've had the
same thing and, um, I wasoptimistic about it.
But in the immunology world, ifyou already have these antibody
issues, he considers a hematomaas an immune response to
(43:34):
pregnancy.
And so immediately he was likewe need to have you do an IVIG
infusion.
It basically just like tonesdown the immune system, because
even after pregnancy, your bodycan be like oh crap, what is
this?
It's a foreign body, let's getrid of it, you know.
So, which is very common withthese types of issues.
(43:56):
And so he had me do thisinfusion and it was gone in 48
hours, which was like, so itdissolved.
Yeah, Right, Um, so that was ouronly scare.
And then the rest of thepregnancy, like she was
measuring a week ahead and everylittle body part looked perfect
(44:19):
and she was moving a ton and itjust has been such a blessing
and I still like I was leavingmy house and my mom was holding
my daughter and I'm like I stillcannot believe that this is a
reality Like.
I made you like what?
If I had not found this fieldof medicine, I probably would
(44:45):
not have a baby.
And I just really really wantedto share that because I can't
tell you how many people whoprobably have gone through
countless rounds of IVF and theycould just have one gene
mutation or one antibody issuethat one medication could fix
(45:07):
and you could get pregnantnaturally.
So the world of reproductiveimmunology treats unexplained
infertility so that was my caseand then also repeat miscarriage
.
So there's a lot of people thatwill go through IVF and they
repeatedly just the egg justdoesn't stick and a lot of these
(45:28):
immunological issues are toblame.
So I just really wanted toshare that because it could be a
simple blood test that findsthe answer for someone you know
and only five doctors in the U Sknow what to look for for that
real to me and, honestly,hopefully, by the time we even
(45:49):
released this in a couple ofweeks, there will be more than
that.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Like I hope that this inspires more people to not
only advocate for their ownhealth and their own wellness
and their own fertility, to alsoalternative views of medicine.
Yeah, and for our you know our,and I know you know in our
hearts of hearts, when we go toschool as a little kid, for what
we want to be when we grow up.
(46:13):
Right, we want to change theworld, we want to do something
differently, and what you'retaught isn't all there is Right.
So I think that, like, I liketo really find myself as just
always being open and curious.
Yeah, and I just really hopethat this sheds some light on
those.
Whether you're a medicalprofession or someone that's
like firsthand experiencing it,or retired, or just curious,
(46:36):
like advocate for yourself, yeah, do your research, like figure
out these different ways to goabout your health.
And you know you and I saidearlier I've shared a lot of our
different kind of alternativehealth journeys and
practitioners and, by the way,postpartum, I have a really good
lymphatic drainage person foryou, who is amazing.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Awesome, I'm going to see him after this His name is
Jose.
Actually, I have had manypeople recommend him.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Oh, he is amazing um, because it's just it's so
important to get to the root ofthe issue, because if there is
an issue, there is somethingcausing it.
You know, it's not just what'son the outside.
It never is.
Yeah, and I think that that'ssomething that our generation is
really kind of breaking thecycles of just trusting that
(47:23):
it's all yeah to yes, it's allgoing to work out the way it's
supposed to but we also have todig deep.
We also have to look indifferent avenues and open
different doors, and that's mywhole intention of this podcast,
and sharing my lived experienceand inviting other people on to
share their lived experience isto just.
If one person hears this and islike, wow, I think I'm going to
(47:44):
call them or I'm going to, Ithink I'm going to share this
information with someone that Iknow, because nine times out of
10, someone listening to this,he's either first hand
experienced it or knows someoneclose to them that's experienced
something similar, whether it'sthis conversation about
infertility or you know anytopic that I've ever covered,
(48:05):
and that's just, that's theintention behind it, and that's
why I feel like I just love tokeep it such an intimate setting
.
And it's like, you know, thesedifferent opportunities, I feel
pulled in all these differentdirections.
I'm like, no, I like it the wayit is yeah, I like to have
these personable conversations.
Yeah, and it's interesting,like I have people reach out
like, oh, you should do thisperson.
(48:26):
They have this many views andthis many likes.
I'm like I don't even know howmany likes and views.
I have Like that's not theintention, like I don't give a
shit.
I mean, thank you guys, Iappreciate you all for liking
and viewing and listening, butwhen you have an intention that
drives your purpose just likeyou had an intention that drove
your purpose to conceive yourchild and now be a mom and now
(48:48):
be a business owner and all ofthese different things it hits
different.
Yeah, it really does.
It does and people feel thatand they appreciate that because
you can tell the difference.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Yeah, Authenticity is coming back.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
It is.
It is 100% coming back.
I don't know if I'm going tolet my hair go.
I don't even know authenticallywhat it looks like.
I like my blonde and so we'llstay connected.
So what do you feel like like?
How does it feel walking intothis new chapter for you?
I mean, the rebrandingrenovations at Fresh are still
(49:29):
underway, but coming liketailoring off.
You know your boutique.
You said you might do a littlerebranding, but that's, you know
, still having room to expand.
Who knows what could happenthere?
And then Mommyhood.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Yeah, it's been so fun, honestly, and I used to
hate searching for balancebecause I struggle with it.
I'm sure all of us strugglewith it, but it's so fun now
because I am never bored, right,everything's a priority, you
know.
So it's.
It's just really, really coolwatching my daughter grow and
(50:03):
then also watching my employeesgrow and, um, just the people
around me.
Like I love it, I loveconnection and um, I think
that's why we, we vibe so welltoo because you're the same way,
Um, but yeah, it just feels sogood in this new chapter because
I feel like anxiety, althoughit's still present, you know it
(50:29):
shows up every once in a while.
But I feel like health isaround the corner, you know, and
I'm able to focus on that,instead of what I don't have now
, instead of what I don't havenow.
So just having an abundantmindset you know, one of my
friends texted me this morning,Lindsay, and she's reading the
(50:54):
Hypnobirthing book again andshe's like I really want to work
on having an abundant mindset,you know, and I'm like, yeah,
girl.
Speaker 1 (51:00):
Yeah, there is something to it.
Same when you come from a placeand again we all have our ebbs
and blows, ups and downs, andall around, especially with
hormones involved, fuckers takeover man.
But when you come from a placeof not even just abundance and
when, when I refer to abundanceI think of like gratitude
(51:22):
appreciation, and when I referto abundance I think of like
gratitude appreciation, likethankful for what I do have and
open to what is possible.
That's the way I kind ofperceive it in my mind when I
think of abundance.
But when you come from it, fromthat place, rather the lack or
why me?
Or the self-sabotaging thoughtswe can all get, somehow it's
like it just again.
When it does happen, it'sdifferent.
(51:43):
Yeah, thoughts we can all get,somehow it's like it just again,
when it does happen, it hitsdifferent because you have, I
feel like you're in such adifferent place of acceptance
and like honoring that part ofthe journey, like wow, it feels
right.
This is what I've been yearningfor and and kind of projecting
towards rather than low keyCause we don't realize when
we're in those thought patternsof why isn't this happening?
(52:03):
You know, it's like like theego takes over and wants us to
feel like we're lacking and it'slike, okay, well, what can we
be learning from this?
And you know, if you would havegotten pregnant from that
second IUI treatment, you wouldhave never learned these things
about yourself, right?
You would have never dug sodeep to realize like, wow, these
are things that once mydaughter is at an age you know,
(52:25):
we'll be able to make sure she'son the right path with this Is
it genetic?
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Is it not Exactly?
Speaker 1 (52:30):
You know, it's just it's you gain so much.
I have like chili willies forsome reason you gain so much
knowledge and insight goingthrough the shit on honestly
that it makes you appreciatebeing on the other side of it
even more right.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
I just appreciate my daughter so much going through
all of that.
You know, because thankfullythere are people that don't have
to worry about that.
You know it's one or two triesand they're pregnant, but it's
you.
You grow a new appreciationwhen you go through the struggle
.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
I think too, a thousand percent, because it's
like I worked so hard for you,Whereas you know and this is
where, in my own, I'll justshare like I'm fertile moral.
I got pregnant with my daughterby accident.
She was a very big surprise.
When I was 25 years old, I wasnot married to her father.
It was like, and I was like, ohmy God.
(53:28):
But then again part of me waslike it's a gift.
It's a gift, Don't freak out.
It's a gift, it happened for areason.
But then I don't want to sharethat, because there are people
that have stories like yours.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
But it's like my story is just to share.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
It's real, it's the reality of the situation, but I
can tell you what, like the dayshe was born, the gratitude and
appreciation, the love obviouslywas there, but it's different
than yours, right, you know.
So it's like your experiencesand what it took to get to those
places really molds yourperception of your new reality,
right, and that goes foranything, not just babies, that
(53:59):
goes for businesses, or ebbs andflows or, you know, getting
laid off of a job and a newopportunity.
Just having that, I think,internal trust and trusting the
process and say it a lot, butsurrendering to the flow and
sometimes it's like fuck all thesurrender.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
No one.
I'm done surrendering Right.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
Yeah, but taking a step back, it's like okay, once
one layer is peeled off, okay,it feels good here it feels good
now.
Yeah, I just really appreciateyour courage.
I mean, you reached out to meand were like I'm.
I think I'm ready to share this.
And we've talked about it forthe past few years You're like
whenever I have a baby like Iwant to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (54:38):
And here we are and it is a little sad because I did
kind of, in the back of my mind, feel like I didn't earn the
right to share this story untilI was holding my daughter, and
that in itself is kind of sad,because I should have shared it
sooner, you know.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
And you did with people you were close to.
Yeah, you did Because it's anintimate situation, right, right
, so you did with people youwere close to.
Speaker 2 (55:05):
Yeah, you did Because it's an intimate situation,
right right, so you did.
But even if I had miscarried orit didn't work out, still it
could help someone.
It's still a worthy story,exactly.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
It's still worthy of being told.
Right, I know it's the story ofyour little beauty.
I know, oh gosh, three monthsis such a fun age.
She's going to probably startgetting really chunky.
That was the age.
Speaker 2 (55:27):
I feel like Brody was like she's starting to hurt my
back, she's getting reallychunky Getting one of those
little tush baby things.
My friend just lent me one.
I'm like this is a lifesaver,yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
I was never good at like wrapping in those cute
little wrappy things either II'm like the shoulders are too
big or something.
I always felt like we're likesmashed into like a little hot
dog.
But so I had more of atraditional carrier with bro guy
.
But cool, I mean, enjoy it andthat's just the thing it's like.
Sometimes I remember like ininfancy it's like gosh, how they
really do is like kind of smileevery now and then and eat,
sleep and poop, yeah, but enjoyit, enjoy every little stage.
I mean Brody is going to befive, I can't even when this is
released, he is almost five.
Speaker 2 (56:07):
I remember at our workout class you announced you
were six weeks pregnant with himand I'm like no way, oh my gosh
, I cannot believe he's five.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
We were working out at Jico's and I'm like I
remember someone in class Ithink it was about 12 weeks at
the time they're like.
So I'm like, I'm not, I'mpregnant, okay, like these boobs
just didn't come out of nowhere, okay, at the freshman 15.
Going on here, leave me alone.
(56:37):
But you know, I was veryfortunate to be able to exercise
the whole time and not manypeople are.
And so I'm just so excited forthis new chapter for you for
this new chapter for the salon.
If you guys live in Sarasota, ifyou're local, if you're
visiting, check them out.
Fresh salon.
Book in advance though.
Yes, you got to book in advance.
I had a friend that was like Icall him and no one's available
for this weekend.
I'm like, oh honey, I know myhusband.
(57:00):
He was like, so do you want togo?
He like blocked the calendarfor me, like last time I got my
hair done on a monday.
I'm like I'm here and they'rereally hard to come by, like
there's a, there's a block oftime and it doesn't take one
hour.
It's no, it's a commitment.
Speaker 2 (57:17):
Um, we actually are having a grand opening party to
celebrate our one yearanniversary.
Speaker 1 (57:23):
So that'll be April 15th, awesome.
Speaker 2 (57:27):
You can RSVP with the link in our bio on Instagram.
But, yeah, anyone's invited.
It'll be so much fun.
We're just really excited toshow our baby.
Yay, is Murph going to be there?
Yes, she will.
She has the cutest little chest.
Okay, are you okay if we sayher name?
Or do you make?
Oh, no, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (57:44):
Yeah, okay, yes, awesome.
Well, thank you so much, taylor, for your courage, for your
insight, for you know, justbeing you, being brave enough to
face all of this, advocatingfor yourself, sharing your
experiences with other people.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
Experiences with other people, please tell your
husband, I said thank you foryou know because he's part of
the journey.
Speaker 1 (58:07):
Thank you for just being here on this platform.
This is exactly my intentionand purpose for doing it in the
first place, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Thank you for having me, of course.
What's up everyone, welcome to this episode of
Crystal Clear.
I have a beautiful, stunning myfavorite Gingy.
Owner of Fresh Salon, downtownSarasota boutique owner, wife
and now a brand new mommy, mrsTaylor Brewster.
Welcome, taylor, hi.
(00:20):
Thank you so much for having meon.
Of course, I mean Taylor, and Imet what?
Probably five years ago now,because Brody's almost five and
you know, when you sit, she isthe creative hair artist behind
my blonde locks of all differentshapes and sizes.
When you sit with someone in achair and I realized this when I
(00:44):
was a fitness trainer like youyou get to know them on a
different level for the hoursand hours that we spend together
.
Oh yeah, it's way beyond hair,it's way beyond hair and it's
really a special bond that likewhen you find your person, and I
don't really like to switchpeople, although we we made it
work when she went on maternityleave.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
It worked out great.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I had a really good sub person for a little while.
Now she's pregnant and so I'mgoing to be shifting back.
There's a lot going on in thewater at Fresh, so when you go
to Fresh Salon be careful whatto drink.
But we really got to know eachother on really deep levels and
you know me, me I'm personableanyway, but I just I really
appreciate you holding space forme.
(01:26):
I mean, of course, we startedout when I had just dove into,
like what the f is like supposedto be like now after postpartum
, and you're what, how old isMurph now?
Three months, three months,okay, so three months old.
So you know, I mean, you knowexactly, and it was like I
(01:47):
didn't know, up from down andall around and dealing with my
own body, my mind, my spirit, mymarriage, all the things.
So we'll, we'll back it up alittle bit and just tell us a
little bit about Fresh, like youbought the salon last year
while you were pregnant.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So my business partner and I we've been a part
of the company for 10 years nowand we both started as
associates.
So we started at the bottom ofthe barrel, worked our way up,
built our clientele, becamemaster stylists and then we just
had the opportunity this yearto take over and purchase the
(02:24):
business.
And then I found out 10 daysbefore we closed that I was
pregnant.
That was interesting, it's liketwo babies at once.
It all happened how it wassupposed to, so it's been
amazing and just such a blessingand a learning experience.
I'm sure?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Oh my gosh, yeah, your husband owns a business
right down the street.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
So you've done the whole business ownership thing.
But this is a little differentballgame.
Yeah, and like in life, youthink you have a specific
threshold, but when more thingscome along, you build endurance
and you just like find a way toget through.
So it's cool.
When you think it's too much,it's usually not Right.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
You just got to figure it out too much for older
versions of you, but now you'renew and you're a mom, so just
wait, sister, just wait.
And there's, I'm sure, beenebbs and flows and ups and downs
.
I love the rebrand of Fresh.
It is just so fun and just likemodern, but still like.
It's just such a good vibe,like you walk in and it's just I
(03:32):
don't know.
It's beautiful, I love it, Ilove the plants.
And then you have a littleboutique off to the side, so
tell us a little bit about thatas well.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Yeah, so gosh 2022,.
I started an e-commerceboutique business with my
sister-in-law, so that's beenrunning strong for a couple of
years now, and when I purchasedthe salon, we were able to have
the opportunity to turn thatinto more of a brick and mortar,
so it's been great.
(03:59):
It's a fun addition.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
It's always fun to be able to touch and feel, and I
know in my busy life sometimesit's hard to be like, oh, I need
to go check out this website,and so to have it in front of
you is like ooh Right.
I need that.
I know I really don't need that, but I'm going to get it anyway
.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
And then when I get home, I'm going to purge
something.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
So my new thing is I know I don't need it, but I'm
going to buy it anyway.
But I'm going to make sure Ipurge something when I get home,
so that way I need to do that?
Yeah, it's been.
I did that this week andactually I went through, pulled
out all of my I just did onesection at a time, just for
sanity's sake.
All my dresses, I pulled themall out, I tried them all on.
I'm like where, well, is it alittle too snug, because maybe
(04:42):
it might fit a little better,and like you know.
So just just balancing what Ineed, what I want how many times
have I worn this?
How many times I had picturesin this, you know?
and then you kind of purge it,yeah, I think I was really
inspired by the spark fashionshow last week to get rid of
stuff because it goes to such agreat cause.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
So it was like that helped.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I think like oh, it's not just going to anyone, it's
going to these women.
That really you know, needassistance.
So, as we mentioned, you knowwe have gotten to know each
other on a deeper level andwe've grown together, I mean the
past five years we've gonethrough.
You know I've started businesses.
You know all the things thatwe're sitting here trying.
(05:19):
I think I'm gonna start apodcast or I think I'm gonna do
this, I think I'm gonna do thatand it's really been a beautiful
ebb and flow.
Meanwhile, we also discussed alot of what was going on with us
health wise.
You know, as I mentionedpostpartum, and you know,
understanding my PTSD and thebrain scans.
I mean, you were one of theonly people that I was like
(05:41):
super open with that to beginwith, because it's like sitting
there, I might as well talkabout it.
So, you know, I feel like we've,we were able to relate to each
other on different levels withthings we were going through,
and I know that you had aspecial intention today or
wanting to come on the podcastand really share your journey,
(06:01):
so I will let you begin whereveryou'd like, it's National
Infertility Awareness Week,april 20th, and I felt like this
was the perfect outlet to talkabout my infertility journey.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
So we really appreciate you having me on,
because I feel like if I caneven just help one person with
my story, like it just wouldmean the world to me, because I
know every emotion and physicalhardship that comes with
infertility.
So I really appreciate beinghere.
(06:37):
Yeah, so, gosh, I guess I'lljust start from the beginning.
But 2019, my husband and I gotmarried and, you know, you're in
marital bliss and everything'sfantastic.
Life is good.
He had just purchased hisbusiness, and so that was
awesome.
We were motivated, pumped.
(06:59):
We do have a bit of an age gap.
He's 15 years older than me, soright off the bat, we were like
, let's just stop preventing andsee what happens, even if it
takes six months, whatever.
I was 25 at the time, so I'mlike, oh, it'll be perfect
timing.
So, yeah, we just got to it.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah, we just got to it and six months went by and I
started to think, you know, Ijust like feel deep down, like
something is up, I feel likesomething is not right because I
didn't even have, you know, alate period or a positive
pregnancy test.
So, um, I mean, you were reallyfit and healthy at the time, so
it wasn't like you had any typeof alarming exterior like to
look at you.
You were totally completely fit, healthy, 25 year old.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Yeah, and I've always prioritized my health and being
active, and so it was verydiscouraging because you know
I'm out here taking care ofmyself and you know there's drug
users that accidentally getpregnant and you know you just
ask yourself why me?
You know it really sucks.
But so I booked an appointmentwith my OB and typically OBs if
(08:23):
you're under, I think, 30, theywon't even talk to you until
it's been a year aboutinfertility.
So I fibbed a little bit and Isaid you know it's been a year,
we've been trying and justnothing's happened.
So they ran all the preliminarytesting hormone testing, thyroid
, you know all the typical eggreserve.
(08:45):
They checked my tubes to see ifthey were clogged with anything
.
They were good to go and thenwhen my OB could no longer help
me, they sent me off to afertility specialist in Tampa.
So they did a sperm analysis onmy husband and they kind of did
some more blood tests on me andthey were like, yeah, you're
(09:09):
pretty much perfect on paper.
We have no idea why this isn'thappening for you.
So you know I asked aboutendometriosis because my whole
life I've had excruciatingcycles Like I can't tell you how
much school I missed in highschool and that's not normal, no
, no.
And doctors would just say, oh,just take a few ibuprofen,
(09:31):
you're okay, you know.
And now, knowing that I do haveendometriosis, uh, it takes a
woman on average seven years toget diagnosed, which is alarming
and that's modern day protocol.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah Right, medical gaslighting.
I know my body.
I'm telling you, something iswrong with my body and you are
not hearing me, which is, for me, the ultimate trigger.
Like you're not hearing me,you're not understanding.
Like I'm telling you it is not.
And I think that's one thingthat really gets me is like okay
, this might be on paper norm,but on paper norm isn't even
(10:08):
norm.
Like it's not, it's what we'vesettled for, it's what things
have digressed to medically,honestly, from different
perspectives.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
And unfortunately, women's bodies are not
researched as much as theyshould be, so they don't know as
much as they should about thesetypes of things.
And so my husband and I, afterthe fertility specialist,
recommended IUI, that'sintrauterine insemination.
(10:42):
So we did four medicated roundsof that and that's where they
essentially control your cycle.
They trigger your ovulation,they find the perfect hour to
inseminate you.
It's like a whole processSounds sexy.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Sounds real sexy, super sexy.
It sounds really sexy yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
My husband rubbing one out in the morning is just
great.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Say hello, guys, we're on our way.
Come on, guys, you got it.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah, we did four rounds of that and let me just
tell you the hormones you haveto take, just the medications
that they give you.
It truly like you're notyourself and it you gain weight,
you just feel terrible.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
It's a shock to your system because it's all at once
right, right and your cycleswere essentially normal, other
than like the pain.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
So normal, just pain.
I mean I was throwing uppassing out and this is from a
young teenager.
Oh yeah, from like two cycles in.
Oh wow, I was probably I don'tknow 13, 13, 14.
Yeah, it's been insane sincethen, and so that alone.
(11:59):
So we did the four rounds ofIUI and you know, I asked the
specialist.
I was like, hey, listen, likeI've had really really painful
cycles my whole entire life.
Can we please kind of look intoendometriosis, like could that
possibly be the cause of myinfertility?
And they were like, oh no, justkeep doing a couple more IUIs.
(12:21):
The odds of you gettingpregnant with IUIs is a lot
higher than endometriosis.
And I was like okay, if thescience says so, you know.
But my pain was still beingdismissed and it was just so
frustrating.
So after the four IUIs didn'twork, I was like, all right,
(12:44):
there's got to be something.
I need to look into gettingsurgery for endometriosis
because no matter what a doctorsays to you, truly it can only
be diagnosed with surgery.
So they won't know if you haveit until they're in there.
So that was our next plan ofaction.
I went through a laparoscopicsurgery.
(13:04):
It was really, really hard.
I had like a solid two weekswhere I was bedridden.
My husband had to shower me.
Like it was very humbling.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, it was everywhere.
Once they got in there, it wason both of my ovaries behind my
uterus.
Was it like cysts?
Ovaries behind my uterus Is itlike cysts?
(13:29):
So endometriosis is essentiallyuterine tissue that grows
outside of the uterus.
So they don't know why ithappens, but essentially, when
you have your cycle, that tissueleaves the normal way, how it's
supposed to With endometriosis.
It can go back up through yourtubes and implant on other
organs.
So it's not a reproductivedisease.
They've found endometriosis onbrain tissue.
(13:50):
They've found it on hearttissue.
It truly can travel anywhere inthe body, which is terrifying
because so many women have itand it can affect so many
different systems in the body.
So I was very thankful thatthey removed all of it from my
body and my doctor in Orlandohe's a specialist and he does
(14:13):
more of excision surgery, wherethey completely cut it out
rather than just burning it.
Sometimes doctors will doablation and it just grows back.
I feel like that would leavescar tissue as well, right?
So, um, we got all of that outof my body and I was like this
is it?
Like this is the cause of myinfertility?
Um, I immediately my firstcycle.
(14:36):
He was like you know, yourfirst cycle after it's going to
be really painful because you'rehealing, blah, blah, blah.
My first cycle was amazing.
I, yeah, and I'm like justhaving that out of my body, I
felt so much better.
My brain was clearer, myhormones just felt more level,
more balanced.
(14:56):
Like I, my gastrointestinalsystem was better, so much was
better, and I was like this isit you know we're going to get
pregnant now?
Like this was the cause.
So, a year goes by, I'm stillnot pregnant.
The fertility clinic is houndingme to do IVF.
(15:18):
They're like you know, it'syour only answer, even though
you only have a 60% chance of itworking, because we don't know
what's wrong with you and I'mlike, no, I'm not going to do
something so invasive.
Which IUI was hard enough?
Ivf, gosh anyone.
(15:38):
That's the difference, okay.
So IVF, you is way moreinvasive.
So they put you on all thesehormones, all these medications.
They make you have like a superovulation, um, they put you
through surgery to collect youreggs from your body and then
they fertilize the egg in a lab,okay, and then they implant it
(15:58):
inside of you Even sexier, yeahright, it's really fabulous for
people that are trying to sortout certain genetic disorders
like breast cancer.
The BRCA gene.
I have some friends who havedone IVF to make sure that their
children don't have that.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Which is like medical miracle stuff.
Like not to discount the factthat this is great for certain
special populations, but alsonot necessarily for everyone.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah.
So a year goes by and thefertility clinic is still
hounding me to do IVF and I'mjust like I don't want to do
this.
I don't feel good about this.
It doesn't feel right.
You know why am I going tospend all this money doing IVF
when you can't give me even adiagnosis?
So I absolutely lost my mind.
(16:51):
You know I developed an anxietydisorder.
You know, when you're goingthrough something like that,
we're biologically built toreproduce and when you can't do
that as a woman, you just feelso broken.
And I went through a chapterwhere you know I had probably
(17:12):
four or five friends and familymembers get pregnant within a
five week period.
And as much as you say like, ohmy gosh, I'm so happy for you,
like you can be so happy forsomeone and still feel so, so
sorry for yourself, and itreally affected a lot of my
relationships with friends andfamily.
(17:33):
You know you start to feel likepeople are outgrowing you,
outgrowing your relationship.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Or even timid and scared to be around you, like
they don't want to share theirnews because they don't want to
hurt you or or you know likejust kind of like, it's like you
can be yourself around me, butthen again it's like but I don't
want to be around you.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I could see the push pull and that would be so
difficult, right, because I wantto be a part of your life.
You know you're going throughsomething so fabulous.
I can still feel sorry formyself on my own, but like I
want to hear about your, yourkid, you know.
And then, yeah, it reallyaffects your friendships as well
(18:12):
, because you're no longer like,oh, hey, let's go to the bar
Saturday night.
It's like, hey, when I go for awalk around Marina Jack with
our babies you know they'rereally not right now, yeah,
you're just in a differentchapter with people and it's
hard because you were what late20s at this point.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
And so that's that.
It's like the baby boom, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Almost yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
And so that's that.
It's like the baby boom phasealmost of life.
It's like every.
I could imagine that that'sreally hard, plus being in the
salon all the time, so you'resurrounded by women constantly
talking about their families andall the things.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Which I have to tell you, speaking with so many women
on a daily basis.
It's insane how commoninfertility is right now and
it's so sad and heartbreaking.
Miscarriage, I think, has gonefrom one in four to one in three
now.
And I can't tell you why I'm nota doctor or a scientist but I
(19:09):
know it's terrible and it's sohard in a physical aspect but
also an emotional aspect.
It's just there's no tellinglike how you should navigate
that because everyone'sexperience is different.
But yeah, so I absolutely lostmy mind.
I I did five months ofacupuncture.
(19:32):
I did every diet you canimagine.
I got in the best shape of mylife.
I tried literally everything.
I cut out gluten.
I cut out it actually put me ina place where I was even more
(19:58):
anxious than before because, Iwas like I I've got to find the
answer.
I'm such an analytical personand I have to know the why for
everything, and it's greatlybenefited me in my life.
But it's also caused me a lotof anxiety too, because when I
don't know that why, I'm like Ijust feel so lost.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
It's like, honestly it's, it sounds like it's almost
like a form of PTSD, like youhave this traumatic stress in
your life, right, and it's, andif it's continual for a certain
for a long period, it's like you.
What I know for my own journeyis like the thought patterns.
Well it's like you keep goingthrough those same diamond
patterns of thoughts and it'slike, but why?
But I'm doing this and this andthis, and so why isn't this
(20:42):
happening?
It's kind of that cause andeffect, like why?
So I mean kudos for you forbeing able to get to the point
where you're like I, something'sgoing to give yeah Like I,
something's going to give yeahLike I.
So what was that point for you?
What was that?
Like I can't do this anymore.
Something has to change.
Like I'm at my breaking point.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
So it started to physically manifest in my body.
My anxiety took over.
I essentially became anagoraphobe.
I could not leave my house.
I was so terrified.
My stomach was always upset.
I could not leave my house, Iwas so terrified, my stomach was
(21:38):
always upset.
I developed gastroparesis outof nowhere and that is we know
is either.
But I knew, I knew it was, uh,my nervous system.
I had just like run myself intothe ground looking for answers.
Um, so I just decided, you knowI, I want to get to the bottom
of my health issues, but first Ineed to just chill the fuck out
, right, right.
My health, ultimately, is moreimportant than conceiving a
(22:01):
child in that moment, right, um.
So I just spent time doingnothing.
I spent time on rests.
I cut back taking clients, um,clients.
I really took myself out ofthis place where I felt like I
(22:22):
always had to be productive andI just let myself be lazy.
You started nurturing yourselffrom the inside out.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Right.
Yeah, and giving yourselfpermission to do that alone is
really hard.
Yeah, so hard, and that'ssomething that people don't talk
about as much as we should talkabout, like giving yourself
permission to come out of that,doing success driven.
I need to be productive all thetime, like mentality that we've
(22:49):
all had, I feel like in someway, shape or form, except for
my daughter, I don't know why.
She's the most laid back person, which is good.
Hopefully I haven't shed myshit on her since.
Maybe I broke that cycle.
She is such a level-headed girlshe really is I don't know Way
more than I am, but that is huge, yeah.
And for you to know, like ifanything's going to happen, this
(23:10):
has got to change, yeah, so youtook that initiative to
yourself, for yourself, to giveyourself the rest I had to.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
If I didn't, who knows Like I would have
continued to just get sicker andsicker because I created that,
which is so crazy to think thatyour mind can physically
manifest and create diseasewithin your body.
It was just terrifying and Ijust wasn't going to allow it to
(23:38):
happen anymore.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Good for you and like , meanwhile, how did this affect
your relationship with yourhusband?
Like what was kind of his,obviously not to necessarily
speak for him, but from his kindof vantage point.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Well, going through infertility to begin with is
terrible.
On marriage, like no one wantsto schedule sex yeah, no, no.
We got to a point where both ofus didn't want to do it.
Right.
I'm like it's fine, let's go.
You know, let's get it overwith right, which is so terrible
.
Right, you know you want toenjoy that part of your marriage
(24:15):
for sure.
But yeah, and just him watchingme shut down I think kind of
made him take a step back andreally it actually brought out
his nurturing side and hispatient side, Because it's
(24:35):
frustrating when someone's notkeeping up like they used to
just on a daily basis.
But he started to realize likewhoa, like she needs me right
now.
So it was that part was greatfor our marriage because we've
always been huge oncommunication.
My husband and I likeconstantly have check-ins.
(24:57):
We talk about the good, the bad, Um, so leaving that
communication open and sayinglike, hey, I'm struggling, Like
I need you to hold my weightright now.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
For someone like you like I know you personally it's
hard for you to say that likeyou know it's hard to get to the
point.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I'm a Capricorn girl personally.
It's hard for you to say that.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Like you know, it's hard to get to the point, I'm a
Capricorn girl, right.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
So even just being like hey, can you just do my
laundry, you know like that'shard for me, but he bucked up
and he got shit done.
That man has done so manydishes and loads of laundry and
he really yeah, he's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
But that is so special, because that doesn't
happen in all situations youknow that can be the make or
break.
So that really speaks to howmuch he loves you and how much
he, you know, understands andhas compassion for the woman
that you are, and understanding.
That like and that to me islike when marriage really starts
(25:56):
to grow, like when you getthrown in the thick of it, which
we all do at some point in time.
So he truly is a life partner.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Like I love.
Just.
It ultimately made us stronger,which was so great, because in
those situations it goes one wayor the other Right there is no.
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I mean you can freeze Because it's also traumatic for
him to go through all of it.
So he could have, you know,fought it, he could have
flighted, he could have tried toleave the situation.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
He could have froze.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah, but he chose to really dive in and truly be
your partner, and I think thatthat is another reason that you
were able to heal so muchthrough the situation.
Is having that type of supportso true?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
And maybe on the outside, looking in, you could
say it appeared as though wewere going through maybe a
roommate phase, but essentiallyon the inside, but essentially
on the inside from an emotionalstandpoint, we built such an
intimacy in that, even thoughthe physical wasn't there,
(27:01):
because we were both just sophysically stressed out from the
whole process- I mean, you know, when we're in our 90s,
hopefully we all make it there.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Yeah, it happens that way anyway.
So if you, can get a littledose of that when you're
supposed to be at your, yourfeistiest stage of life.
It's, it's an attestment tolike the future.
Like you know, you have morethan just the you know quote
unquote norm or what you think asituation might be like, right.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
So so I started from there.
I started healing.
I really just tried to be asnatural as possible.
I saw a lot of naturopaths andI had a lot of naturopathic
testing done and I found outthat I have a gene mutation
called MTHFR, which a lot ofpeople have it.
(27:50):
A lot of people have heard ofit, but to me it was, you know,
completely new.
I'm like, okay, what the heckis this?
This has to be related somehow.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
You were the reason I got tested for it.
No, and I have it yeah.
That is so funny?
Yeah, because it's essentiallylike you don't methylate certain
things, like you don't absorbcertain things.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yeah, especially like minerals, the way that other
people might Right, yeah, thatvitamin B and folate and all of
that, yeah.
So I, from there, I was like,okay, I feel like I'm on the
verge of something, but I was,you know, deep into therapy.
At this point I'm like I'm notgoing to push myself back into
(28:30):
this anxious state.
We're just going to kind oflook into it, analyze it, but
it's not going to be my wholeidentity and so I.
It's so crazy that this is evencoming out of my mouth.
But I was on a subreddit onReddit and someone was talking
(28:55):
about the relation ofinfertility and MTHFR and I was
like, oh, I did not realize thiswas related.
And someone commented you needto look into reproductive
immunology not to be confusedwith reproductive endocrinology.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
So not hormones more internal.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
More the immune system.
Immune system.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Yes, which, if our immune system, as most of us
these days, have some sort ofautoimmune something going on
because we're exposed to all ofthe toxins and all of the things
, right?
I mean, it's really hard tocome by someone that doesn't
have some sort of immunesituation.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, and actually endometriosis acts as an
autoimmune, because it's yourown tissues attacking the body.
Essentially, Maybe notattacking the body, but harming
(30:00):
the body in a way, because it'stissue that doesn't belong on
the heart or on the intestinesor wherever it ends up.
But so I did some Googlesearching and I figured out
there are five reproductiveimmunologists in the US, which,
like whoa, has to be a new fieldof medicine, because I've never
heard of this before.
If there's only five peoplethat do it like, tell me more
Like.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
I need to know.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
So I figured out that there was a doctor, a doctor
who bees in Kissimmee, nearOrlando, and I would not have my
baby girl without him.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I remember this whole stage.
I'm going to cry.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Yeah, so thankfully with.
So if you go to a typicalfertility clinic, it's a cash
cow.
It's not covered by insurance,right?
Speaker 1 (30:41):
They're there Hundreds of thousands of dollars
, depending on how deep you gothey're there to make money, and
I mean, aren't we all?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
but anyway, um and so immunologists they you've
already gone through all of thehormone testing, the thyroid
testing, the physiologicalfactors and when they look at
your immunology relating tofertility, they're looking at
gene mutations, they're lookingat blood clotting disorders,
(31:12):
they're looking at certainantibody markers that you have
in your body.
So, thankfully, with thereproductive immunologist, all
of it was virtual, so I haveactually never met him in person
.
Oh, wow, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
That's really cool.
So you would do the labs hereand send him away and he would
read that yeah, so shout out tomy OB, dr Cash.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
She's amazing.
She collaborated with him, withyou know, doing all of the
testing that required him to getme a diagnosis, and now is she
the OB you started this journeywith or did you switch?
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Okay, yeah, and she's been fantastic.
She's been with you the wholeway which is great, and I'm sure
she's learned a lot, which iswhat our Western medicine
doctors need to understand.
So I'm loving this likesynergetic collaboration,
because this is what we needmore of, and the fact that she's
willing to work with them aswell, because, you know, she
could have easily been like, ohno, you know, fired you as a
(32:06):
patient or something.
You never know and meanwhile,this is all through, like COVID
and stuff too, Like throughpandemic.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
you were able to break through all of these
barriers to get to this spot soyeah, and so, uh, she actually
told me at some of my postpartumappointments that she passed
his contact on to some peopleand he's been able to help them.
So, um, okay, where did I leaveoff?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
No, sorry, Um, so you met him, your markers, so
they're.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
What they're looking for is the immunology he did
many ultrasounds different typesof ultrasounds so where they
inject your uterus with salineand they see if there's any
abnormalities.
They did a test calledendometritis, where they take a
biopsy of your uterus andapparently it's a chronic
(33:02):
infection that can cause chronicinflammation in the uterus.
So they ruled that out.
They ruled out any polyps.
I had extensive blood testingdone.
I actually passed out becauseit was 27 vials.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I was like are we surethis is okay?
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Five gallon bucket full of my blood over there.
Can I have some back the blog?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
mess was like yeah, this is fine.
I'm like okay, cause I feellike I'm not going to be
conscious in one more vial.
Did you have to fast for it?
Yes, yeah, yeah, which Iprobably could have had a little
more water, but it's okay.
So he tested for sevendifferent gene mutations.
I ended up testing positive forthree of them, and they all are
(33:48):
in relation to clottingdisorders as well, which can
cause implantation failure.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Okay, so, I was also severely vitamin D deficient
which I mean I'm pale as hell.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
So no surprise there, I never go outside.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Well, we don't get it through our food like we used
to, because our food isn't grownthe way it's used to.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Yeah, so I was severely vitamin D deficient.
I had the MTHFR, which is oneof them that he tests for.
I also had one called PI1,which is a clotting disorder.
It's actually very dangerous.
Thankfully I didn't testpositive for both copies, it was
just one copy, so I don't havean actual bleeding disorder, but
(34:34):
it was affecting my fertility.
And then factor 13 as well wasone of them, which I don't know
nothing about it, but it affectsmy fertility.
And then he tests for all ofthese antibodies too, and I
tested positive for somethingcalled anti-ovarian antibodies.
(34:54):
So I literally had antibodiesattacking my ovaries.
Yeah, wow, I know.
So on ultrasounds, I had thesefat, juicy, beautiful eggs Great
.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
But they were under attack.
Yeah, they were under attack.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
So the quality, like no sperm is going to fertilize
that.
No, you had like soldierswaiting there to attack all the
things and I had never had apregnancy, a positive pregnancy
test, in five years.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Okay, so you had never gone through actual
insemination implantation andthen lost a baby.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Yeah, I have never had a miscarriage which was
crazy to think about.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
You know, like something's interrupting, but
again back to the root cause,and here you go, right.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
So I started medication and he put me on.
I don't want to give my exactprotocol just because we're
obviously not diagnosing here.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
But he put me on some steroids, some blood thinners,
and we retested everything andit was perfect.
It was exactly where he wantedit and he gave us the green
light to start trying, becauseyou are not allowed to try until
he gives you the green light.
Because he doesn't want you tostart too early and then
(36:11):
potentially miscarry.
So we got the green light.
Two cycles in I was pregnant.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Oh, my gosh After five years, naturally.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
I mean this is no hormones.
No hormones.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
This is just rebalancing, recalibrating your
insides after digging deep tofind the root which you knew
there was a root.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
I know there's always a root deep to find the root,
which you knew there was a root.
There's always a root Right.
So I was in disbelief and welaugh about it now because my
husband's birthday is December14th, mine's January 15th and we
both were like you know, wehated having our birthdays
around Christmas.
We're not going to have aChristmas baby.
We got to make sure we don'ttry like when it's going to be
(36:55):
those months, and we trulyweren't trying Like that was the
month we did not schedule yeah,anything, like we just let it
flow Right.
And here I am pregnant.
So it was.
Yeah, it was crazy.
I was actually at my nephew'sfirst birthday and there were so
(37:16):
many babies there and as fun asit was, you know, seeing my
nephew grow, there's a part ofyou at an event like that.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
That's like poor me you know it's like am I ever
going to get this opportunity?
Is this ever going to be us?
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Yeah.
So I left that party, went to abar by myself, had a fat
margarita, and I went home and Iwas like I'm just going to take
a pregnancy test, like yeah,just for fun, I've wasted enough
of them, what's one more?
And I actually took it, left itin the bathroom, forgot about
(37:52):
it for like two hours and then Icame back in the bathroom and I
was like shut up, there's noway.
It was very clearly positiveand I was like there's no way.
So I went to Target.
I got like 20 more differentbrands.
All of them were positive, eventhe digitals and it was.
It wasn't even time for mycycle yet.
(38:14):
So I was like in shock.
It was so early.
I think I was like 10 days postbeing off of my period.
It was like super early.
I was like there's no way.
Yeah, Um, yeah.
And so it was positive.
My husband was at work and ofcourse he had a busy night at
the bar, so he was there till2am so I went to sleep.
(38:36):
I didn't even tell him.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
You didn't even tell him.
Oh my God, I don't think.
Especially if I had had a bigfat margarita, I would have been
like you're never going tobelieve this.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, I would have like gone up like look at all
this.
How did you keep it a secret?
And then the guilt set in andI'm like, oh crap, I just had so
much alcohol.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
But whatever, most people don't really find out
they're pregnant until a littleways in.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah.
So, um, the next morning I puttogether this like cute little
box with some shoes and whatever, um, and the positive tests,
and um, I had just bought mysalon and I was like I was on
the phone with my businesspartner and she's like wait, do
(39:21):
you still want to do this, areyou sure?
I'm like yes, of course.
Like I, which I would not havepurchased a salon if I had
gotten pregnant any sooner thanthat like if I already had a
baby.
Yeah, knowing what I know nowlike it's hard, it's hard to
prioritize both, but I trulybelieve that that happened in
(39:44):
the timing that it needed to.
It always does, because I'm sograteful to have both.
It's been so much fun.
I am so happy to step away frommy own business to help other
people grow in theirs, and Ifeel like that's truly my
purpose and it's truly a newchapter for you, right?
(40:05):
And so I'm so grateful that thetiming happened how it did.
But what was I saying?
The little box you told him ohyeah.
So I was, like you know, tryingto play it off, all cool, and
the box was closed and I waslike, hey, check out this sample
(40:25):
I got for the salon, orsomething Like.
What do you think?
of this tile or I don't evenremember what I said, but he was
like what do you mean?
What is this?
And he opened it up.
He's like half awake because hewas just up so late.
And he opened it up and he'slike no, you're joking, like
this is not real.
And we both just kind of brokedown.
(40:46):
It was like such a specialmoment.
But, yeah, we were in truedisbelief, like because even
though we had that positivepregnancy test and later had a
positive blood test it's likewhat people don't talk about is
you worry so much, even when youare already pregnant, because
(41:09):
miscarriage is so common, youknow, and after five years you
almost like gaslight yourself,like I don't deserve this.
You know, like it's been solong, like why would it work?
Now, you know, so I gosh, forthe first half of my pregnancy I
(41:29):
was expecting to miscarry.
So it was.
It was hard for us to tell ourfamily and like announce to
friends because we were like atany moment this could be taken
away from us.
So it was very terrifying.
But that little girl man, herscans were perfect and beautiful
(41:50):
.
And that's one great thingabout my immunologist is he
watches you with what's itcalled.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Magnifying glass.
He watches you with amagnifying glass.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Yeah, so he.
Every single week I was gettingultrasounds and and that's
reassuring to just hear theheartbeat right here.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Even with brony I was 35, so it's considered
geriatric, which was greatbecause I got that I know right,
really old, um, but I got tosee him so much like way more 25
.
They're just like oh yeah, seeyou 38 weeks right yeah, not
really, but so every single weekhe would.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
He had me do blood tests and ultrasounds and at the
six-week mark, I want to say, Ideveloped something called a
subchorionic hematoma, which anyOB would tell you like oh, it's
normal, it's just a little sackof blood, it's normal to have
some bleeding, it'll go away onits own, like external bleeding
(43:02):
or internal it?
Comes out of you, yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, okay, so that had to be terrifying.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Which is terrifying yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
It's like your first thought is miscarriage.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Yeah, yeah, right.
So which I had had some friendsand family that I've had the
same thing and, um, I wasoptimistic about it.
But in the immunology world, ifyou already have these antibody
issues, he considers a hematomaas an immune response to
(43:34):
pregnancy.
And so immediately he was likewe need to have you do an IVIG
infusion.
It basically just like tonesdown the immune system, because
even after pregnancy, your bodycan be like oh crap, what is
this?
It's a foreign body, let's getrid of it, you know.
So, which is very common withthese types of issues.
(43:56):
And so he had me do thisinfusion and it was gone in 48
hours, which was like, so itdissolved.
Yeah, Right, Um, so that was ouronly scare.
And then the rest of thepregnancy, like she was
measuring a week ahead and everylittle body part looked perfect
(44:19):
and she was moving a ton and itjust has been such a blessing
and I still like I was leavingmy house and my mom was holding
my daughter and I'm like I stillcannot believe that this is a
reality Like.
I made you like what?
If I had not found this fieldof medicine, I probably would
(44:45):
not have a baby.
And I just really really wantedto share that because I can't
tell you how many people whoprobably have gone through
countless rounds of IVF and theycould just have one gene
mutation or one antibody issuethat one medication could fix
(45:07):
and you could get pregnantnaturally.
So the world of reproductiveimmunology treats unexplained
infertility so that was my caseand then also repeat miscarriage
.
So there's a lot of people thatwill go through IVF and they
repeatedly just the egg justdoesn't stick and a lot of these
(45:28):
immunological issues are toblame.
So I just really wanted toshare that because it could be a
simple blood test that findsthe answer for someone you know
and only five doctors in the U Sknow what to look for for that
real to me and, honestly,hopefully, by the time we even
(45:49):
released this in a couple ofweeks, there will be more than
that.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Like I hope that this inspires more people to not
only advocate for their ownhealth and their own wellness
and their own fertility, to alsoalternative views of medicine.
Yeah, and for our you know our,and I know you know in our
hearts of hearts, when we go toschool as a little kid, for what
we want to be when we grow up.
(46:13):
Right, we want to change theworld, we want to do something
differently, and what you'retaught isn't all there is Right.
So I think that, like, I liketo really find myself as just
always being open and curious.
Yeah, and I just really hopethat this sheds some light on
those.
Whether you're a medicalprofession or someone that's
like firsthand experiencing it,or retired, or just curious,
(46:36):
like advocate for yourself, yeah, do your research, like figure
out these different ways to goabout your health.
And you know you and I saidearlier I've shared a lot of our
different kind of alternativehealth journeys and
practitioners and, by the way,postpartum, I have a really good
lymphatic drainage person foryou, who is amazing.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Awesome, I'm going to see him after this His name is
Jose.
Actually, I have had manypeople recommend him.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Oh, he is amazing um, because it's just it's so
important to get to the root ofthe issue, because if there is
an issue, there is somethingcausing it.
You know, it's not just what'son the outside.
It never is.
Yeah, and I think that that'ssomething that our generation is
really kind of breaking thecycles of just trusting that
(47:23):
it's all yeah to yes, it's allgoing to work out the way it's
supposed to but we also have todig deep.
We also have to look indifferent avenues and open
different doors, and that's mywhole intention of this podcast,
and sharing my lived experienceand inviting other people on to
share their lived experience isto just.
If one person hears this and islike, wow, I think I'm going to
(47:44):
call them or I'm going to, Ithink I'm going to share this
information with someone that Iknow, because nine times out of
10, someone listening to this,he's either first hand
experienced it or knows someoneclose to them that's experienced
something similar, whether it'sthis conversation about
infertility or you know anytopic that I've ever covered,
(48:05):
and that's just, that's theintention behind it, and that's
why I feel like I just love tokeep it such an intimate setting
.
And it's like, you know, thesedifferent opportunities, I feel
pulled in all these differentdirections.
I'm like, no, I like it the wayit is yeah, I like to have
these personable conversations.
Yeah, and it's interesting,like I have people reach out
like, oh, you should do thisperson.
(48:26):
They have this many views andthis many likes.
I'm like I don't even know howmany likes and views.
I have Like that's not theintention, like I don't give a
shit.
I mean, thank you guys, Iappreciate you all for liking
and viewing and listening, butwhen you have an intention that
drives your purpose just likeyou had an intention that drove
your purpose to conceive yourchild and now be a mom and now
(48:48):
be a business owner and all ofthese different things it hits
different.
Yeah, it really does.
It does and people feel thatand they appreciate that because
you can tell the difference.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Yeah, Authenticity is coming back.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
It is.
It is 100% coming back.
I don't know if I'm going tolet my hair go.
I don't even know authenticallywhat it looks like.
I like my blonde and so we'llstay connected.
So what do you feel like like?
How does it feel walking intothis new chapter for you?
I mean, the rebrandingrenovations at Fresh are still
(49:29):
underway, but coming liketailoring off.
You know your boutique.
You said you might do a littlerebranding, but that's, you know
, still having room to expand.
Who knows what could happenthere?
And then Mommyhood.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Yeah, it's been so fun, honestly, and I used to
hate searching for balancebecause I struggle with it.
I'm sure all of us strugglewith it, but it's so fun now
because I am never bored, right,everything's a priority, you
know.
So it's.
It's just really, really coolwatching my daughter grow and
(50:03):
then also watching my employeesgrow and, um, just the people
around me.
Like I love it, I loveconnection and um, I think
that's why we, we vibe so welltoo because you're the same way,
Um, but yeah, it just feels sogood in this new chapter because
I feel like anxiety, althoughit's still present, you know it
(50:29):
shows up every once in a while.
But I feel like health isaround the corner, you know, and
I'm able to focus on that,instead of what I don't have now
, instead of what I don't havenow.
So just having an abundantmindset you know, one of my
friends texted me this morning,Lindsay, and she's reading the
(50:54):
Hypnobirthing book again andshe's like I really want to work
on having an abundant mindset,you know, and I'm like, yeah,
girl.
Speaker 1 (51:00):
Yeah, there is something to it.
Same when you come from a placeand again we all have our ebbs
and blows, ups and downs, andall around, especially with
hormones involved, fuckers takeover man.
But when you come from a placeof not even just abundance and
when, when I refer to abundanceI think of like gratitude
(51:22):
appreciation, and when I referto abundance I think of like
gratitude appreciation, likethankful for what I do have and
open to what is possible.
That's the way I kind ofperceive it in my mind when I
think of abundance.
But when you come from it, fromthat place, rather the lack or
why me?
Or the self-sabotaging thoughtswe can all get, somehow it's
like it just again.
When it does happen, it'sdifferent.
(51:43):
Yeah, thoughts we can all get,somehow it's like it just again,
when it does happen, it hitsdifferent because you have, I
feel like you're in such adifferent place of acceptance
and like honoring that part ofthe journey, like wow, it feels
right.
This is what I've been yearningfor and and kind of projecting
towards rather than low keyCause we don't realize when
we're in those thought patternsof why isn't this happening?
(52:03):
You know, it's like like theego takes over and wants us to
feel like we're lacking and it'slike, okay, well, what can we
be learning from this?
And you know, if you would havegotten pregnant from that
second IUI treatment, you wouldhave never learned these things
about yourself, right?
You would have never dug sodeep to realize like, wow, these
are things that once mydaughter is at an age you know,
(52:25):
we'll be able to make sure she'son the right path with this Is
it genetic?
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Is it not Exactly?
Speaker 1 (52:30):
You know, it's just it's you gain so much.
I have like chili willies forsome reason you gain so much
knowledge and insight goingthrough the shit on honestly
that it makes you appreciatebeing on the other side of it
even more right.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
I just appreciate my daughter so much going through
all of that.
You know, because thankfullythere are people that don't have
to worry about that.
You know it's one or two triesand they're pregnant, but it's
you.
You grow a new appreciationwhen you go through the struggle
.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
I think too, a thousand percent, because it's
like I worked so hard for you,Whereas you know and this is
where, in my own, I'll justshare like I'm fertile moral.
I got pregnant with my daughterby accident.
She was a very big surprise.
When I was 25 years old, I wasnot married to her father.
It was like, and I was like, ohmy God.
(53:28):
But then again part of me waslike it's a gift.
It's a gift, Don't freak out.
It's a gift, it happened for areason.
But then I don't want to sharethat, because there are people
that have stories like yours.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
But it's like my story is just to share.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
It's real, it's the reality of the situation, but I
can tell you what, like the dayshe was born, the gratitude and
appreciation, the love obviouslywas there, but it's different
than yours, right, you know.
So it's like your experiencesand what it took to get to those
places really molds yourperception of your new reality,
right, and that goes foranything, not just babies, that
(53:59):
goes for businesses, or ebbs andflows or, you know, getting
laid off of a job and a newopportunity.
Just having that, I think,internal trust and trusting the
process and say it a lot, butsurrendering to the flow and
sometimes it's like fuck all thesurrender.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
No one.
I'm done surrendering Right.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
Yeah, but taking a step back, it's like okay, once
one layer is peeled off, okay,it feels good here it feels good
now.
Yeah, I just really appreciateyour courage.
I mean, you reached out to meand were like I'm.
I think I'm ready to share this.
And we've talked about it forthe past few years You're like
whenever I have a baby like Iwant to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (54:38):
And here we are and it is a little sad because I did
kind of, in the back of my mind, feel like I didn't earn the
right to share this story untilI was holding my daughter, and
that in itself is kind of sad,because I should have shared it
sooner, you know.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
And you did with people you were close to.
Yeah, you did Because it's anintimate situation, right, right
, so you did with people youwere close to.
Speaker 2 (55:05):
Yeah, you did Because it's an intimate situation,
right right, so you did.
But even if I had miscarried orit didn't work out, still it
could help someone.
It's still a worthy story,exactly.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
It's still worthy of being told.
Right, I know it's the story ofyour little beauty.
I know, oh gosh, three monthsis such a fun age.
She's going to probably startgetting really chunky.
That was the age.
Speaker 2 (55:27):
I feel like Brody was like she's starting to hurt my
back, she's getting reallychunky Getting one of those
little tush baby things.
My friend just lent me one.
I'm like this is a lifesaver,yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
I was never good at like wrapping in those cute
little wrappy things either II'm like the shoulders are too
big or something.
I always felt like we're likesmashed into like a little hot
dog.
But so I had more of atraditional carrier with bro guy
.
But cool, I mean, enjoy it andthat's just the thing it's like.
Sometimes I remember like ininfancy it's like gosh, how they
really do is like kind of smileevery now and then and eat,
sleep and poop, yeah, but enjoyit, enjoy every little stage.
I mean Brody is going to befive, I can't even when this is
released, he is almost five.
Speaker 2 (56:07):
I remember at our workout class you announced you
were six weeks pregnant with himand I'm like no way, oh my gosh
, I cannot believe he's five.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
We were working out at Jico's and I'm like I
remember someone in class Ithink it was about 12 weeks at
the time they're like.
So I'm like, I'm not, I'mpregnant, okay, like these boobs
just didn't come out of nowhere, okay, at the freshman 15.
Going on here, leave me alone.
(56:37):
But you know, I was veryfortunate to be able to exercise
the whole time and not manypeople are.
And so I'm just so excited forthis new chapter for you for
this new chapter for the salon.
If you guys live in Sarasota, ifyou're local, if you're
visiting, check them out.
Fresh salon.
Book in advance though.
Yes, you got to book in advance.
I had a friend that was like Icall him and no one's available
for this weekend.
I'm like, oh honey, I know myhusband.
(57:00):
He was like, so do you want togo?
He like blocked the calendarfor me, like last time I got my
hair done on a monday.
I'm like I'm here and they'rereally hard to come by, like
there's a, there's a block oftime and it doesn't take one
hour.
It's no, it's a commitment.
Speaker 2 (57:17):
Um, we actually are having a grand opening party to
celebrate our one yearanniversary.
Speaker 1 (57:23):
So that'll be April 15th, awesome.
Speaker 2 (57:27):
You can RSVP with the link in our bio on Instagram.
But, yeah, anyone's invited.
It'll be so much fun.
We're just really excited toshow our baby.
Yay, is Murph going to be there?
Yes, she will.
She has the cutest little chest.
Okay, are you okay if we sayher name?
Or do you make?
Oh, no, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (57:44):
Yeah, okay, yes, awesome.
Well, thank you so much, taylor, for your courage, for your
insight, for you know, justbeing you, being brave enough to
face all of this, advocatingfor yourself, sharing your
experiences with other people.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
Experiences with other people, please tell your
husband, I said thank you foryou know because he's part of
the journey.
Speaker 1 (58:07):
Thank you for just being here on this platform.
This is exactly my intentionand purpose for doing it in the
first place, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Thank you for having me, of course.
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