What Are You Going To Do About It? With Jen Smith

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What happens when your boundaries are crossed, and how do you respond? The raw, unfiltered conversation with returning guest Jennifer Smith of Jen Smith Co Leadership Development dives deep into this question and so much more. From Jennifer's shocking revelation about being drugged at a recent business meeting to honest reflections on showing up unprepared, this episode strips away pretense to examine what authentic living truly requires.

"What are you going to do about it?" emerges as our central theme—a deceptively simple question that shifts us from victim to creator of our own experience. Jennifer shares how even after a traumatic violation of trust, she refused to let it derail her purpose or change how she engages with the world. Instead, she used it as a catalyst for heightened awareness while filing a police report to protect others who might encounter similar situations.

We explore the delicate art of boundary setting in a society that's only recently begun validating this essential practice. Jennifer and I discuss why so many of us struggle to maintain clear boundaries and how learning to say "no" without guilt becomes a transformative act of self-respect. The conversation takes an introspective turn as we examine what it means to be truly "open to receive"—whether it's help, love, or guidance—and how our own unconscious blocks often prevent the very connection and growth we claim to seek.

For listeners wrestling with personal or professional transitions, our discussion of redefining values offers a practical framework for evolution. Jennifer's candid admission about showing up unprepared for an important meeting provides a masterclass in accountability—demonstrating how owning our missteps actually builds trust rather than diminishing it.

Join us for this soul-stirring conversation that will leave you asking powerful questions about where you're going, what you truly want, and how you can show up more authentically in every area of your life. Then share your thoughts with us—we'd love to hear how these insights resonate with your own journey!

Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring my story and my guests. If something touched your heart please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up you guys?
Welcome to this episode ofCrystal Clear.
We have a returning guest on,actually from this season.
It's Jen Smith, or JenniferSmith of Jen Smith Co Leadership
Development Consulting.
I mean you, really I like tothink of you as just an overall
like empowerment coach thathelps people build things from

(00:22):
the inside out and see wherethey go from there, and our last
episode went a little crazy, soit's great to have you back.
We hit on a lot of differentin-depth, inward personal topics
and I think both of us had alot of people reaching out,

(00:45):
especially ladies withpermission to own their truth.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yes.
A lot of people reaching out.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
A lot of people.
So I would love to just buildon that today and see where it
takes us.
You know there's a millionthings that we could talk about,
but I think that the importanceof you know, last time our
topic was essentially owningyour shit, which we exposed a
lot of ours, and guess what?
We got a great response fromthat.

(01:13):
Because what do people want?
They want that authenticconversation, an authentic like
it is what it is.
What are you going to do aboutit?
Yeah, yeah.
So you know, we've all gonethrough life and experiences and
things that have shaped us andmolded us and conditioned us,

(01:37):
and we've had to take a stepback and take a pause and
reevaluate.
But a lot of people have yet totake that pause and reevaluate
and really ask themselves whatdo I want and how did I get here
?
So I'd love for us to juststart there.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
I love that, let's dive in.
I love that.
I love everybody and I do wantto acknowledge all of the women
who reached out to me, toCrystal, from our last episode
and I see you and I had a lot ofconversations with a lot of
people and it was reallywonderful and there were some

(02:18):
tears, there were someirritations, there was some
anger, but people, some of thoseepisodes, it rocked a few
people.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Including us.
Including us.
I think we both had some timeto process.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, I remember calling you going holy shit,
like it's out there, it's outthere, it's out there.
I needed a minute to likedecompress from that and all of
the things.
And you know, just so everybodyknows, that still was a
learning moment for me.
It was a very raw moment andthank you for holding space for
that.
A hundred percent it was, itwas real.

(02:53):
Shit got real.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, shit got real.
So to that, as it does when Jenand I are together.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
So okay, here we go.
I have something to say.
I'm 48 years old and I justrecently got drugged.
Oh okay, here we go.
I have something to say.
What's that?
I'm 48 years old and I justrecently got drugged.
Okay, yeah, so I we're notgonna, I don't wanna.
It's not a hard and heavy thing, although it did hit me like a
ton of bricks once I realizedwhat had happened.
But I was in a business setting, in a location that we had had

(03:22):
many business meetings andgetting something fixed, and I
was slipped some drugs into mydrink and just barely made it
home.
What kind of drugs Like?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
roofies yeah, those still exist, I know.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
I didn't even realize that that was still a thing.
It was a check moment in mylife, Hell yeah because it's not
a setting you would have your.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
I mean, we're not, like you know, cover your drink
when you leave the bar and don'taccept a drink from another
person.
Stage of life at Florida Stateanymore, Like what the?

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah, what, the what, yep.
So I'm just going to set.
I don't really even know what Iwant to say about it, other
than the fact that there arestill people that are out there,
even in a professional setting,and I actually didn't file a
report until just recently, andthe only reason that I did is

(04:22):
because somebody said what ifthat was your daughter?
A thousand percent.
And then I'm like, oh my God,what if that was my daughter?
And it's, it's no, it's.
All that's going to happen nowis that, if anything ever
happens again with this,particular person it's on file
and maybe I can be the one thatjust stands up and says, yes,

(04:43):
I'll do the hard things.
But at this stage of my life itreally did rock me and I
actually had to have a couple ofconversations with a few
friends of mine and I had to askthem hey, what do you think?
This is Like men in my life,every single one.

(05:04):
You were drugged.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
You were drugged you were drugged because I was
almost denying it.
No, well, because we don't wantto believe something that would
happen with someone that we'reinteracting in a professional
setting with.
Right, like we said, it's notyour typical situation?

Speaker 2 (05:21):
No, and this particular place was not a place
that I would ever imagine thatsomething like that would happen
and you're 100% that it was theperson you're engaged with, not
like the bartender.
No, we were sitting at a talltop table.
There were only two of us.
That is great Anyway.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
I'm sorry that that happened to you.
But again, like it's a wake upcall for something.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
It's a big wake-up call for something and, honestly
, I'm still processing it.
I am still processing it.
I was shell-shocked, I wasreally shocked, and a lot of
emotion came up with it.
However, I guess one of thequestions that came up was, well

(06:04):
, what are you going to do aboutit?
And I love that questionbecause, well, I'm not going to
get into that, but what are yougoing to do about it?
Right, this is such a yummyquestion.
From the last time you and Ispoke, when different things in
life and different situationscome up, I mean, I ask my

(06:29):
clients now, with certainsituations and certain scenarios
, what are you going to do aboutit?
This came up, this happened.
I'm feeling this way.
This emotion is processing andwhat are you going to do about
it?
Right, and one of the topicsthat I that I love getting into

(06:50):
the most is to owning your shitis where are you going?
Where are you in life?
What are you doing?
What's your next step?
Not letting where you weredefine where you're going and
what are you going to do aboutit right?

Speaker 1 (07:10):
because I mean, as influential as you are, of a
business coach and a leadershipyou know, cultivator and creator
.
You have a lot of one-on-onebusiness meetings with men, a
lot, and you've now sharedprevious episode in this one two

(07:30):
pretty effing traumaticsituations that could have 100%
caused you to pump the brakesand shift into a totally
different direction.
So what are you going to doabout it?

Speaker 2 (07:48):
I'm going to keep going, right.
I'm not going to let it affectme, right.
It affected me emotionally andI worked through it, but I
worked through it as soon as Ifigured out what was going on.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
And you took responsibility for your part and
paid it forward to get it onfile, just in case you know.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
something like this happens again and I will not let
it derail what I'm doing inbusiness or in life.
You know, I'm not going to letit deter me from having business
meetings with people.
I'm not going to let it determe.
Might take my drink to thebathroom.
Well, you know what thefunniest thing is.
I didn't order a drink, oh, Isaid I was all done drinking, oh

(08:24):
.
Well, you know what thefunniest thing is.
I didn't order a drink, oh, Isaid I was all done drinking, oh
.
And then there was one therewaiting for me when I got back
oh, so I'm not going to drinkthat drink.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
That's boundary number one.
Hello has crossed Okay.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Mm-hmm.
So this is, you know, I'mfeeling called to talk about
this because there's so manysweet, beautiful, vulnerable
women, ladies and even men outthere that would appreciate.
Oh my God, they took it uponthemselves to get me a drink

(08:59):
when I said I was all done.
You said you were all done andthey did it anyway.
That, my friend, is what Fucked.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
It's not respecting your boundaries.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
It's crossing the line.
Yeah, it's crossing the line.
And so then you have to askyourself, or what I would ask
myself is what is the intentionbehind that self?
Or what I would ask myself iswhat is the intention behind
that, you know, are you pushingyour own shit onto me?
Are you in this for my bestinterest, because I said I was
done, or is there some ulteriormotive Like what, what is the

(09:38):
intention behind that?
And that does?
This doesn't have to be a, youknow, a drink situation like
we're talking about.
This goes for a lot of thingsin life, like I'm all done with
this conversation and peoplekeep going, or I need my space
and people keep pushing.
I need some fresh air, peoplefollowing out.

(09:58):
I mean, this goes into a wholewormhole of how many times and
this is a question I wanteveryone to reflect on right now
how many times in your lifehave you tried to set a boundary
and someone has disrespected it?
It's a great question.
Then ask yourself because Ifeel like it's happened to me in

(10:22):
my own life Sometimes it's thepeople that I feel either know
I'm serious or like just youknow we have to.
The way I like to think of it is.
You have to realize, whenpeople are crossing boundaries
like that, I think it's eitherconscious or subconscious.
Like they don't, I don't know.
Like are they intentionallydoing it or are they doing it

(10:46):
out of their own trauma andunconsciousness, in that moment
of not being fully aware andfully present, in the moment of
being like oh wow, they'reserious, but that's their own
history, right, right, like sothey're probably not used to
boundaries, which I think youknow we're just now getting to a
generation that's giving eachother permission to set them,
and follow them.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Very clear ones, yeah .

Speaker 1 (11:07):
So yeah, boundaries are a big deal, they're huge.
And what do we do in situationswhen people cross them?
Like, what is it?
How can we keep our strength,our inner, knowing our safety,
our security, knowing ourboundaries have been crossed?

(11:27):
We did not come prepared forthis conversation.
I didn't premeditate.
This is just coming up andcoming out.
It's just coming up and comingout.
So bear with us while we talkthrough this.
This is a spot on Like I've.
I have responded and even verymuch reacted in many different

(11:47):
ways, because I'll tell you whatan easy way to put me in fight
or flight is cross my boundaries, you know, or gaslight me when
I feel like I've I've set aboundary, and gaslighting
happens, which is, you know,flipping it back around to you,
like you need mental health, youneed this, you need that.

(12:11):
It's like, oh, I told you whatI needed and you're now telling
me what I need, Like I thought I, I thought I, I thought I set a
boundary.
So I think that's where thepeople get confused as to what
they really are and why is itokay and you hear about this a
lot, I think in you know,sarasota community and other
communities.
Out there is the grooming, likewe're grooming, and you know
people, we, you know, if youdon't know any better, you think

(12:32):
someone's being genuine orthey're being kind, but it's
really just like breaking downyour boundaries.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
I mean, if you take that one particular scenario,
everything that you just said iswrapped into that one
experience.
And whenever I said and I drankthe drink, which is the reason
that I was drugged and I had twoor three sips of it and I drank

(12:59):
it and I started to not feelvery good and I have just enough
street smarts in me to knowthat it was time for me to go
home and I just needed to getmyself home.
I didn't know what I wasfeeling, but right there it's.
I said no, I don't wantanything else to drink.
Why did I drink the drink?

Speaker 1 (13:17):
So how have you processed?

Speaker 2 (13:19):
through that I have asked myself that question why
did you drink the drink Numberone?
I like whiskey.
So I drank the drink because Iwas like, okay, fine, I'll just
have a couple of more drinks,but if I let it go deeper which
I have a choice I can let thatgo deep and I can get hung up
right there or I can just cut itoff.
At that, I just wanted to drinkthe drink and then, when I

(13:43):
started to feel bad but, to yourpoint, there's a lot wrapped in
that it's like I could havesaid no thank you, which now,
moving forward, when thathappens, or if that ever happens
again, I will 100% say no thankyou and I will not take
something that I have not askedfor, especially from someone
that I don't really know, right,um, which is unfortunate

(14:05):
because there is a, there are alot of business colleagues that
I have and there are a lot ofopportunities to have a lot of
different business meetings, andit has made me a lot more
cautious and aware.
The second one is, when I gotto my truck, this person was
behind me and I'm not going tosay the entire conversation, but

(14:27):
it was some form of you need toback up because I'm leaving and
I've already said that I'm okay.
Now I need you to back up, getaway from me and just back up
Like what the fuck was the plan?

Speaker 1 (14:40):
What?
They're just going to throw youin their vehicle and bring you
back to your car the next day.
Like I don't get that.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
I don't either.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
I mean, you never understood it, but like, what is
the plan here?

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Right, I mean, maybe somebody else can allude to that
, but what do you do?
You just say I wake up in astrange like, say, I didn't get
into my vehicle, and then I gowith this person, and then I
wake up in a strange home, andthen I go with this person, and
then I wake up in a strange home.
What am I going to say to you?
Right, who am I going to call?
Am I going to go?
Oh, or?

Speaker 1 (15:10):
are you even going to fucking wake up, right, we
don't know who this person is.
No, I know, and that is thescary thing, and I think, if
anything, like we need to be andnot like paranoid, but be aware
of your situation, yoursurroundings always.
And this obviously has comeinto your life to bring
awareness.
Thank goodness you got home andit's not like you live downtown

(15:34):
, so I'm glad.
I'm glad you made it.
You can always call me, by theway.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
I wish I would have called you because I woke up,
face down on my lanai oh my God.
11 hours later I didn't make itmy lanai, oh my God.
11 hours later, I didn't makeit in my house, oh my God, but I
did make it to my house.
That is terrifying.
It is terrifying, and this wasjust recent.
At this age, I mean, I feelpretty good and pretty confident

(16:01):
about my surroundings and whereI go, I pay attention.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
Woman too.
Like I would feel like you giveoff more masculine energy in a
situation like that than you dolike.
Oh, I'm a little vulnerablefemale.
That's not you Like, if youknow, jen you know, like she's
especially in a business meeting, Like she's not going to come
in, like I didn't come in doingthis, like no, she's not
flipping her hair doing this.
Like no, she's not flipping herhair, no.
First of all, that's ballsy asshit.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, it really is.
It really is.
So the awareness part istotally focus all the time on
what you're doing, never losesight of why you are where you
are Right.
So I went there for a businessmeeting and that is what I
needed to focus on.
And yeah, I like to have an oldfashioned you know every now
and then if I'm at a business,if I'm at a business meeting or
something.

(16:56):
But anyway, I think it was theawareness factor for me, because
I am traveling internationally,I'm traveling in different
states, and it was just a check.
It was a check and balance tosay, hey, wake up, you didn't
want to play small.
This is what you asked for.
Now we've got you here.

(17:16):
Stop screwing around.
I don't want to play small andI don't also want to be taken in
a—I don't want to be seen in adifferent light when I come to
the table at these meetings.
It's already challenging enoughfor women to have these very

(17:37):
strong and powerful positions.
I feel like I was mixing thesand too much.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
Well, if anything it taught you not to do that Right.
And so now you have a betterbusiness plan going forward.
We have reevaluated our ethics.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
But I think the biggest is just knowing where
you're going and what you'redoing, right.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
And then, when you get there, what are you going?

Speaker 2 (18:06):
to do and why?
Right, did you come to playhouse, did you come to show up
and make moves?
Right, and I came to show upand make moves, so there's no
more of that.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Good for you, yeah, good for you.
And thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing Again,sharing another vulnerable
situation, real life event, thatis going to plant the seed and
bring awareness to our listeners, and that's what we need.
Because you know what?
I guarantee there's someonelistening that's had a similar
situation.
Maybe it's not that extreme ormaybe they didn't make it home

(18:40):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
You know, and that's the intention and the why behind
all of this is to plant theseeds, to bring the awareness,
not to you know, dwell on it andoveranalyze and all the other
things, but just to have thatawareness.

(19:02):
Where are you going, what areyou doing and why?

Speaker 2 (19:07):
And not to let things that have happened define you
100%.
Not let them define who you areand who you're going to be
moving forward.
Process them, get real withthem, like we talked about the
last time, own them and juststep outside of that circle of.

(19:29):
This is what happened, but thisis not who I am.
This is not who I have to bemoving forward.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Right.
And coming back to yourself, Ithink is huge.
Like you know, when somethingdoes happen, whether it's small
or large, whether it's positiveor negative, if we're judging it
positive or negative.
Sometimes I think that we goabout our lives like seeking,
like you know, we say we're notjudging, but it's like we're all

(19:57):
constantly judging Is itpositive, is it negative?
Like, why does it have to beeither?
Why can't it just be what it isRight?
And so my husband and I havethese conversations all the time
.
It's, like you know, people saygood morning.
It's like well, maybe I haven'thad a good morning, why are you
trying to force your good shiton me?
Like, maybe I'm just having amorning.
So that's why I'm always likehello, morning sunshine.

(20:20):
I didn't even realize I said itthat way, but it's like it's
interesting that we live in asociety that we're always and
it's totally, I think,subconscious we want to be on
the side of the positivespectrum, we don't want to be on
the negative side of thespectrum.
But really to be in thatneutral zone is kind of where
it's at, that's where the peace,that's where the acceptance,

(20:43):
that's where the like okay, I'mhere, I'm showing up, I'm doing
my thing, like we're not alwaysgoing to get the accolades and
the certificates and all thethings, but it's what really, I
think, forces you to connect toyour why is when we can
disconnect from the externalvalidation.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
Totally.
I had somebody the other day.
You know the comment is it workin silence, play.
There's like a three linelittle thing that says build
things in silence.
Not everything always has to beout in the world.
It doesn't always have to bepublic To your point.
You can be in this neutralspace where you're doing things

(21:25):
and you're processing things.
I had somebody ask me the otherday I had no idea that you were
doing any kind of projectmanagement or development and
things like that.
Why did I not know that?
I'm like it's been three years.
And he said well, why didn't Iknow that?
And I was like do I have to putsomething on the back of my

(21:46):
head every single day that saysthis is what I'm doing and this
is what I'm working on, this iswhat I'm processing, this is
what I'm feeling?

Speaker 1 (21:52):
That's right.
You didn't know, because I'mworking on it.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
I'm working on it.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
I'm doing it, I'm immersed in it, instead of
seeking validation and puttingit out there.
We're so conditioned these daysto share all our shit,
everything, and can we just stopfor a minute?

Speaker 2 (22:09):
I don't need permission.
No, I don't need a plan, Idon't need your guidance.
If I needed guidance, I'll askfor it, right, but yeah, you're
right, it just.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
And there's nothing wrong with sharing it.
There is not.
But I think the question goeswith why?
Why do you feel the need toproject all the intimate
scenarios of your life out tothe world?
Anybody?
I want to know, I want peopleto comment why, why are you

(22:42):
doing that?
And if you don't know, why?
Take a minute to ponder it?
You know, and I've learned somuch from what I share, what I
don't share, what I'm doing,what I'm not doing, and
realizing more that you get thatexternal, the external feedback

(23:03):
, the more it clogs your innerknowing Right.
So when you're constantlytaking in stimulus from the
outside, it really inhibits yourability to feel from the inside
, because you're conditioned bywhat's coming in and you lose
the authenticity of what'salready there.
And for me that's been a hugeself-awareness journey.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
Huge discovery, yeah, getting comfortable in those
silent moments and processingand thinking and feeling and not
putting it all on.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah, I mean when you and I met, I was in the thick
of the healing, the rewiring mybrain, the rewiring my marriage,
the reconnection to myselfjourney, and that was a good two
to three year process.
I didn't come out and starttalking about it until a good
year and a half after it washappening.

(23:58):
I mean some of it.
Obviously it's all happening aswe go right.
But when we met, when weconnected, it was in a retreat
setting where we were processing, we were digging deep, we were
asking these types of questions.
It was very much behind thescenes and so that's because at
that point I was seeking that.
I was seeking like I need toreevaluate.

(24:19):
But the whole intention behinddoing it now and sharing it is
because there's people out thereseeking it and they don't know
where to grasp that from.
You know, just like you talkedabout in the last episode, when
you went through it all, youweren't putting in like you had
to dig deep.
You went in Like you have to goinward to put things out.
It was years.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yeah, it was years.
Yeah, it was years.
Just like you, nobody even knewthat I had left my marriage and
that we were working on that.
We were even separated.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
Right and guess what they're not supposed to no.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
Because, it's intimate Right.
There are some intimate detailsthat really just need to be
kept at bay.
They need to be kept at home.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
Now, that's not to say that you're not talking
about it with your therapist andyour coach, oh yeah, or
whatever, and maybe it's part ofyour processing that you do
want to put some stuff out there, but just know that the more
that's out there, the morethat's out there.
So that means the more energythat's connected, the more
perception there is around itand you don't need any of that

(25:20):
stuff when you're in the thickof it and you're truly trying to
find yourself.
No one else is one of myfavorite quotes.
No one else's opinion of youmatters.
No, it's none of your business.
It's none of your business.
No one else.
Like everyone else's opinion ofyou is none of your business.
And when I could really trulyaccept and own that, it was like

(25:42):
oh, wow, and I still have toreel myself back in on it.
You know you still have to.
It's constant reeling back in.
And you know you have teenagers.
You've watched them go throughthe ebbs and flows of all of
this and it's so hard to besurrounded by.
I think it's challenging for meand it gives me great

(26:04):
opportunity Good words To besurrounded by others seeking the
external, because I just wantto be like gosh.
If you only knew what it feelslike to go inside.
But I do.
I approach it with a you knowwhat I'm sending them love and

(26:24):
light and something will happenthat will shift that and it's
happened to all of us.
Right, it had to happen for meand it had to happen for you.
I'm sure it will continue tohappen 50,000 more times in my
lifetime, on different topicsand variations, and whatever it
may be may not be as big of alife shift, but like small
shifts, like your experience youhad earlier, yeah, or?

Speaker 2 (26:47):
that you shared earlier.
Yeah, on a completely similartopic.
But how about showing up?
Like, like, how we show up, howwe show up?
I had an example that I sharedwith you earlier about not being
as prepared for a particularmeeting that I needed to be, and

(27:10):
it's interesting because I gotcalled on it not outwardly the
woman at the meeting didn't callme on it, but she dropped some
you know little innuendos.
She asked me a couple ofquestions that I had to repeat
myself, but I did not show up tothis particular meeting the way

(27:34):
that I needed to.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
And.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
I'm getting all of these little universal messages,
and I know what it is.
It's a level up moment.
I am having an opportunity tolevel up again, and in order for
me to do that, I have got toget crystal clear on.
That was not intentional either.
I know.
I love it when it comes out,though I have to get crystal

(28:00):
clear on what it is that I want,and this was a reminder today.
Again, if you want to run withthe big dogs, prior planning we
have to show up.
How do you want to show up?
How do you want to show up inthe world?
How do you want to show up inlove?

(28:20):
How do you want to show up inmarriage?
How do you want to show up inthe world?
How do you want to show up inlove?
How do you want to show up inmarriage?
How do you want to show up inbusiness?
How do you want to show up foryour kids?
How do you want, spiritually,everything, physically,
romantically, right?
How do you want to show up?
And, man, am I getting tested?

Speaker 1 (28:37):
I am literally getting tested, but all of these
tests are helping you figurethat out Totally.
Because, you know, I think youand I are similar in the way
that we're like I'm showing upas me, I'm winging it, I'm free
spirit, I'm showing up as me,and then it's like, oh okay, I

(28:57):
need a little bit more me inthat one.
Yeah Well, because sometimes andyou know, I'm hearing what
you're saying and it's likesometimes you show up and it's
like, well, that wasn't the bestrepresentation of what I could
have been in that moment and Iknow myself better.
But then again it goes back towhat was this other person's
expectation, other person'sexpectation, and why wasn't that

(29:26):
more clearly expressed?
Because I much rather show upas me than like that super over
prepared kind of a little bitfarther than something I really
am, and then have theopportunity to be like you know
what I wasn.
I wasn't quite prepared as muchas I realize now, going into
this, that I want to do a littlebit more.

(29:47):
So can we continue thisconversation or can we carry
this out in a different way?
Because I've reevaluated myapproach a little bit and I want
to revisit it.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Oh yeah, the meeting was definitely saved.
Yeah, for sure, and I did.
I was asked one question, puton the spot, and I said that is
a very good question and I didnot come prepared.
However, if you give me about30 seconds and let me dig in, I
will have an answer for you.
And she the other woman did sayWe'll have an answer for you.

(30:24):
And the other woman did say wow, that's bold, take your 30
seconds.
She wasn't expecting that and Idid.
I just sat for just a minute.
I went to use the restroom, Icame back and I answered the
question, but to your point, Ihad to have the backbone to dig
that out and say I just need oneminute, but I'm going to get it

(30:48):
together.
And then, of course, I wentoutside and screamed in my truck
when I went outside and I'mlike I was really frustrated
with myself, honestly, but I didcome in a little bit, not quite
as businessy as I needed to,but I learned and it was an
opportunity again, anotheropportunity to know where I was

(31:13):
going, know what I wanted out ofthat situation, and this can be
applied to everything what doyou want?
What do you want Right?

Speaker 1 (31:22):
We talked about that a little bit the last time,
right, and how do you want?

Speaker 2 (31:24):
to get there and how do you want to get there.
And you don't always have toknow exactly the plan of how
you're going to get there, butyou do have to know what you
want, right?
You agree?

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah, a hundred percent, and I think what you
just explained to me you gavethe ladies in the room
permission to take a minute.
You know like you still showedup as you because you're like I
need a minute.
You could have bullshit yourway through whatever they asked
you, but it wouldn't have beenheartfelt, intentional

(31:57):
conversation if it justimpulsively came out of your
mouth.
You took a minute, youevaluated, you screamed, you do
whatever the hell you needed todo to bring your real self back
with the answer and that is whatwe're talking about yes, yes,
giving yourself a minute or evenjust being like you know what,

(32:18):
I'm not even prepared for thistoday.
Can we reschedule, like, what isthe harm in that?
And I think that people wouldbe like, oh, oh, you know, I
mean, it's ballsy.
Other than like, oh, my God,thank you for this opportunity.
I was like you know what.
I didn't show up the way Iwanted to show up today.
I'd love to do another lunch,or I'd love to do, you know, it

(32:40):
doesn't even be this situation.
This is anything in life, thisis any conversation, even
something you're conversationsyou have with yourself.
Sometimes we're not preparedfor the way we're answering.
Or are we impulsively?
Are we answering from a placeof condition and impulse, or are
we answering and respondingfrom a place of compassion and

(33:03):
authenticity?

Speaker 2 (33:04):
Oh, I like that.
Relationships is a good one,for that, 100%.
I mean, how many times have youbeen in a conversation and said
we have to stop.
Wait a minute, we need to stop,we need to regroup, or the
complete polar opposite?
You don't say that.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
And it keeps escalating and things get sad.
And we just had a situation notlong ago about that.
But guess what, when we cameback around and we owned our
stuff and we had the intentionalconversation of in that moment
I wasn't my best self, but Iheard you and I'm going to show
up differently.
That is where the trueconnection comes in.

(33:49):
Whether it's your relationshipwith your partner or your
children or yourself, or whoeverit is in your life, the ability
to own it.
Accountability for me is theavenue towards trust and respect
.
Like, it's really hard for meto trust and respect when

(34:12):
there's the accountability isnot there.
I think that's probably broadrange for most people, but you
might not even know what thatlooks like Like some of us
aren't even surrounded byaccountability, so we don't even
know what it looks like.
Sadly, I think we live in thissociety where, like, gaslighting
is normal and flipping theswitch and well, what about you?
And it's like, well, we weren'ttalking about.
You know what I mean.

(34:32):
Like in that type of I feellike those types of
conversations are brushed underthe rug.
We talked about this before,but having that ownership of,
hmm, I wasn't actively listening, I was responding to you
impulsively in that moment.
I wasn't listening, I wasn'thearing.
There's a difference inlistening.

(34:53):
There's a difference in hearingwhat someone's saying.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Reacting and responding.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yes exactly.
And even to ourselves.
You know, when it gets into theself-sabotage conversations we
have with ourselves, it's likereally Like, yeah, like you
totally.
If you had this meeting rightbefore this, you could have
totally been like Crystal, I'mdone, I'm not.
You could have self-sabotageyourself the rest of the day,
giving yourself the run throughof what you could have done
differently, but you didn't.

(35:18):
No, you showed up, you wereshowing up with intention, with
purpose, and you're sharing thatto give people permission to do
the same.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
Yeah, it's not easy to be in those situations.
Oh God, no, I mean, it reallyisn't.
It's nobody's fault, but my own.
It really is.
That's owning my part of it is.
I was this was set up for me toshow up as my best self, and I
did not put the preparatory workin to show up as the person

(35:49):
that I am working towardbecoming.
That's the key, and that justcame to me right now, is that I
this is a next level opportunityfor me and I've been doing the
necessary steps to get to thispoint, and I didn't show up the

(36:12):
way that Jennifer next yearneeded to show up today, so how
would she have shown up?
up today.
So how would she have shown up?
She would have had a completepresentation put together that
could have been handed over tothe person that I was meeting
with.
Instead of the conversationpiece, I would have had a

(36:33):
full-on presentation puttogether with all of the
questions, honestly, that I knewwere going to be asked, and I
didn't have it.
I was anticipating that theconversation would be enough,
and the level that I'm trying toachieve required me to go do

(36:58):
that extra step, and I didn't doit.
I won't fucking do it again.
And there we go, friends, we'relearning, yeah.
I mean it actually makes me hotthinking about it, it makes me
angry, it makes me upset withmyself and to owning that.
I could blame the person thatset the meeting up.

(37:19):
I could blame this person.
I could blame other people.
I could try to find that setthe meeting up.
I could blame this person.
I could blame other people.
I could try to find blame in theweather, there are excuses as
to why you didn't, and the timeand all the things, but you're
owning it, I am owning it and Iknow that if there's something
that I want, I am going to haveto put forth the effort and the
work in order to achieve it,because nobody else is doing it,

(37:45):
because nobody else wants it.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
I want it.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
I mean, other people do want it, but I'm going to get
it, love it, which is a reallyfun topic.
I talk about this with myclients all the time is we
talked about this the last timeis that one question of what do
you want, in anything Like whatdo you want?

(38:08):
And I challenge people andinvite people to write that down
today, right, in differentcategories.
In different categories.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
Because it's like what do you want relationally?
What do you want relationally?
What do you want inward, likeemotionally?
What do you want physically?
What do you want tangiblysexually?
Yes, all the things.
Spiritually.
Yes, parentally, and what stepparental, I think.
So parental, parentalish, um so, and it's a fun exercise

(38:43):
actually, I have a ladiesretreat coming up on thursday.
I might do this.
It's like a soul retrievalretreat but, and making that
list and just keeping in mind,every day, are you doing one
little thing and maybe you don'tcover it all in one day, but
ideally you would.
Would Like if it's relational,like are you having the
appropriate conversations andgiving the appropriate attention

(39:06):
to what needs attention?
You know, parental?
Are you giving that intentionaltime?
Are you allowing yourself to beokay, this is a big one we're
all going to resonate with.
Are you allowing yourself to beopen to receive?
Ding, ding, ding?
That's a big one.
It is a big one Because we canwant all day long, but if we
have a block in here that'spreventing us from receiving

(39:32):
what it is that we really needand want.
We're our own worst enemy.
And so getting to the place orthe person or the coach, or the
therapy or the workout orwhatever it is, that's fueling
what you want, but also keepingin mind you have to stay open to

(39:53):
receive it.
Because that I think was mybiggest obstacle throughout a
lot of things in life is I wasgoing and I was driven and I was
doing all these things, but Iwas still so wound tight from
being the strong one and notallowing myself to get in this
nitty, gritty, dirty, vulnerableplace to be open, to receive

(40:18):
what I truly needed from myselfand from others.
I was in my own way, and that'shuge, because most of us are
Even like you know.
An easy thing is mom guilt Okay.
We all say oh yeah, but are youwilling to allow yourself to go

(40:39):
out of town and truly be out oftown, knowing your kids are
safe and sound and taken care of?
Are you going to guilt tripyourself the whole time you're
there?
Because if you're going to goand do that, don't even freaking
go, save your money Like I justtalked to me.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
You do save your money, yes.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
You know or whatever it is like a girl's trip or you
know whatever it is.
You have going on, and that'sjust an easy example.
But why do we because we all doit at times put ourselves in
situations where we're goingthrough.
We're doing everything we feellike is right, except for

(41:13):
allowing ourselves to be open toreceive or even asking for help
.
Without the guilt Are we askingfor help?
Asking for help is beneficial,we know that.
But if you're not being open toreceive the help, it's not
going to work.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
I've sabotaged so many things in my life prior to
eight years ago because I wasnot open to receive.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
One of them is love.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
I was not open to receive love and I did a very
beautiful dance aroundcommitment and many, many
different things to push thataway because I didn't want to
get hurt.
And then it just.
And then one day I stepped onthe wrong board and it split me

(41:56):
in half and I realized that Ican learn and I can talk and I
can go through the motions.
But until I was ready and untilI did the work to even
understand how to be open toreceive certain things love in
that instance it was never goingto work.
I could learn everything, Icould read all the books, I

(42:19):
could listen to all the podcasts, I could go to all the retreats
, but until I figured out thecombination to unlock my that we
it's not intentional, no one'slike intentionally like well,

(42:54):
maybe some people blocking outthe world, but, or, or that
person, or this thing, or thisrelationship, or this goal or
whatever it is we're seeking.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
There's a level of something there.
So my question is what is yoursomething there, and is that in
one avenue of your life, or isthat in multiple?
And I think a lot of it comesdown to that fear of rejection,
oh God, or fear in general.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Fear in general.
Fear in general yes, in general.
Like fear in general.
What if?
Fear in general, yes, ingeneral, like fear in general.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
What if?
Yeah, but what if.
What if?
But what if?
What if it fucking works?
Yay, like what if?
What if you step into this nextzone?
Right, and everything's okay.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
And everything's okay Once I realized that I could be
open to love.
I've fallen in love, right.
I mean I'm not actively in arelationship right now, but I
have fallen in love.
I have felt what it feels liketo be in love again.
I can love again, and now Ijust want to love all the time
and if I have those feelings forsomebody, I will say I love you

(44:00):
to someone, right, without anyexpectation of what's going to
come on the return.
Me saying that to this personor any person, or to you or to
whoever.
That's because I'm open.
I am open to bring it back.
But I'm also very giving and Iwant love, and you know as well
as I do.
If you want it, you have togive it, and that reciprocal

(44:24):
relationship starts to open upso many other pathways.
I wrote down the word redefine,and that is what I have done so
much since growing up in theSouth is redefine.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
We're from very similar backgrounds.
Yes, we are.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
And I'm writing.
I wrote a book and thetranscript not the transcript,
the manuscript has been sittingon my bookshelf for about two
years because I didn't like theway that it came out, and I've
just revisited that and I'mrewriting it right now.
And one of the things that Iworked on this morning was
redefining the values that I hadat a certain part of my life

(45:13):
and then understanding whythey're not my values now and
what my values are currentlymoving forward.
And I have redefined so much,as I know you have, and how
liberating it is to be able tolook at something or a time
period in your life and go.

(45:36):
I actually don't want that.
I don't want that.
I want to reprogram it,redefine it, and this is
actually what I want and this iswhat I believe and I'm going to
go that way with it.
How liberating and how amazing.

(45:56):
I mean, there were a lot ofthings that served me when I was
in Tallahassee, but, man, therewere a lot of things that
didn't.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
But knowing, too, and having the self-awareness to
know you did the best you could,totally, with what you had 100%
, and that, I think, is hugewithin this growth journey,

(46:25):
whether it's reflecting on, youknow, childhood stuff or
adolescent stuff.
Like people surrounding you, Ido, truly.
I'm one of those people thattruly like to believe that
people are, we're, a product ofour everything environment
environment and conditioning andall of the things, and we're
really doing the best we canwith the tools we have.
And then it gives you thatlevel of compassion of wow, I

(46:46):
really I didn't have very manytools and that's okay.
I have much more tools in mytoolbox and my toolbox is wide
open.
I'm accepting all the tools,all the things, all the little
bits and bolts and hammers andscrews and circular saws,
whatever.
But having that awareness and Ithink that that's something

(47:09):
coming from you know, eventalking about like past traumas
or situations like that knowingwhat really matters is that you
are open to gaining more tools.
Yeah, and really it reallyboils down to that being open to
receive, to reevaluate, havingthe curiosity to change things

(47:32):
up when it doesn't quite feelright, and then when you have
that tool though using it.
Right, right, you can't justpush it in the back of the
toolbox for later.
No, you can't.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
I mean you can, but it's not, you're not going to go
forward, right Right, you can'tjust push it in the back of the
toolbox for later.
No, you can't, I mean you can,but it's not, you're not going
to go forward Right, right.
So it's when you get thosetools, when you know better, do
better.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Well, like we said, you can do all the workshops,
you can listen to all thepodcasts, you can do all the
meditation classes, but ifyou're in yoga and breath work
and you're thinking about yourgrocery list or what you're
doing next, you're not submersed.
I mean, we've all been there.
Don't get me wrong.
It depends on the day.
That's why we're doing it.
If you're in breathwork andyou're in the class, four
seconds, it's better than youwere before you walked in.
But you know what I mean.

(48:10):
It's surrounding yourself andknowing it takes practice.
You don't go out for your firstrun and run 26.2 miles, like.
That's not the way it works.
You have to build these skillsand it's a building block and
it's setting the foundation forsomething greater to give you
those tools to show up foryourself in whatever way it is

(48:36):
you desire.
I've never met someone that'slike I'm going to show up for
myself, shitty today, like noone thinks that way.
No, I wouldn't think so?

Speaker 2 (48:44):
I would hope not.
Yeah, and also stretching too.
Yeah, you know, stretchingbeyond your borders Right, and
that's been a big thing for mealways is right when I feel like
I go, I like to go, go andrelax for a minute, but I'm also
going.
Well, wait a minute, this isway comfortable.

(49:08):
It's not that I always need tobe stretching myself, but I do
always want to be learning andgrowing.
I do always want to be learningand growing, and I want to know
that I can be a little bitbetter today than I was
yesterday.
I can show up a little bitdifferently today than I was

(49:31):
yesterday, and so that has beena big thing for me is to keep
learning and keep stretchingbeyond my borders.
Sometimes I'm like okay, juststop, I don't need any more help
, I don't need any more lessonstoday, I want a timeout.
Hit the pause button back, thefuck up, and that's okay too.

(49:53):
And that's okay too, it is funNow.
I mean I think we talked aboutthis last time too it's like now
.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
It's like come on, bring it on just bring it on
well, and it sounds like you'regetting a lot brought on.
Oh my gosh.
Careful what you wish for well,and that's just it.
Where you set your intentions,you're opening doors and you're
allowing things to flow.
So, again, be prepared and opento receive, whether it's, you

(50:27):
know, receiving that I need toreevaluate, I need to rediscover
, I need to.
Maybe it's not what I wantafter all, and that's okay too.
You might think you wantsomething big and grand, but
then sometimes it's like well,maybe I want to be somewhere in
the middle.
I don't quite want to be here,but that's too much.
I've had to do this for myself.
You're creating a business andcreating this podcast and all

(50:51):
these other things going on.
That means I've had to shiftand reevaluate other things in
my life that were once way moreup here and now they're a little
bit more right here, because,guess what?
We have a kid going to college.
So now family is rising for me,which is interesting because
I'm in a sixth year.
So that intentional time,knowing it goes by really fast

(51:11):
and other things are just kindof.
I'm balancing the other shiftsbut making sure I spend that
intentional time.
Even March, I took the wholemonth off of podcasting and
stuff because I just I neededthe time and the space in my
mind and my body and my spiritat a lot of external events and
a lot of kids stuff going on.
I knew that if I came in hereto film I wouldn't have showed

(51:34):
up the way I needed and wantedto, not with the intention that
I had when I started this.
So guess what, taking a break,who cared?
I didn't, you guys didn't Likehello, I'm back.
It's really, at the end of theday, it's not a big deal.
No, I could have, and probablyin previous lives of my own
would have been like oh my God,I can't believe I'm failing this
or it's going to load, I don'tcare.

(51:55):
I mean, I think another joy ofthat is I don't ever look at
like my views or likes or youknow, whatever, I'm not doing it
for that.
Right.
So it's just different for me,which nothing wrong if you do,
but I just don't have thecapacity for all that.
But knowing that I had to shiftand I had to reevaluate, and
that's the way I showed up formyself in a way, and guess what?
I felt super fulfilled and I'm,you know, filming at least once

(52:17):
a week, you know releasingevery other, and so it's just.
It's just a small example ofways you can shift and pivot
when you feel like you need torecalibrate, and I think that
that's really along withredefining, is recalibrating.
You know, you get your tireschanged.
What's the first thing they do?
They like rotate them, theyread, they make sure they're in

(52:39):
alignment, right.
So you can't bring all this newstuff in without realigning
yourself and taking I mean youcan, but it's a shit show way to
happen Don't recommend it,don't recommend it.
Done it, don't recommend it.
And sometimes you know you'rein your flow and things keep
coming and coming and coming andnext thing you know you're like
oh my God, I have the flu.

(53:00):
Well, did you take time toreevaluate?
Because, whether you like it ornot, the universe will set you
free with it.
Yes, it will.
It will force you into what youneed, whether that's rest,
whether that's, you know,revamping, recalibration.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
Slow down to speed up Right.
Sometimes calibration Slow downto speed up Right.
Sometimes you have to Right.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
You got to hit the brakes for just a minute, yeah,
or just pump them, yeah.
For example, like you knew it,because you know me, I had a
podcast I filmed before this.
It's like you need somesunshine.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
I do.
I'm going to go change myjacket and I'm going outside and
I'm going to sit and let thesun soak in my being and take a
few breaths and I'mrecalibrating, because it's a
completely different topic.
It's a completely differentenergy, completely different
person.
We need that permission to dothat for ourselves because
there's so many times we gothrough life and we don't take
that pause and what happens?
We dump one thing into theother and then we end up.

(53:52):
You know, if you mix primarycolors, you get all these
beautiful colors, but if you youmix them all together, you get
a pile of shit.
Color brown, like it's aperfect example.
If you mix too many thingstogether, it's gonna look like
shit and feel like shit.
You're so right yeah, yeah,nobody wants shit brown no one
wants shit, brown I mean, and Ilike a good neutral, but it's

(54:16):
not what we're talking abouthere.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
You know there was a.
There was a woman not too longago and you not what we're
talking about here.
You know there was a.
There was a woman not too longago, and you know who I'm
talking about.
Um, that, to that point to like, sometimes you have to slow
down to speed up and sometimesyou need to get shaken up to
explode.
You know, sometimes you need agood shake.
I feel like that's what'shappening to me, right now so.

(54:38):
I'm getting a little bit of ashake.
But there's a woman, a mutualfriend of ours, that needed a
little bit of shake up in herbusiness, redefine what she
wanted her business to look like.
She needed to know where shewas going.
She needed to understand whatin the hell she wanted.

(55:10):
She needed to know how shewanted to show up.
If this is the name of thebusiness, does it fit where she
wants it to be?
You know who I'm talking about.
And and ironically notironically but intentionally
that she did all of those thingsand she and I shook her up a
lot and now it looks like she'scoming out of it with a brand

(55:32):
new business plan.
She knows she's got a muchbetter idea of where she's going
.
So I just I like that yin tothe yang that sometimes you have
to slow down and sometimes youneed something.
You need that shake up in yourlife so that you can go, and I
think that's such a beautifulsynergy.

Speaker 1 (55:52):
And it's the perfect example of what we're talking
about, because sometimes and I'mone of these people I have the
creative fun doing impulsiveside of me that just like I'm
going to do all of this, then Ineed someone like Jen to help me
reel in the logistics you knowlike, because the organization
detail part is not my strongsuit, you know.

(56:13):
So I need to stay open toreceive that guidance and that
help.
And that stay open to receivethat guidance and that help and
that you know the collaborationthat comes along with creating
and building somethingespecially from the ground up,
and there's beauty in that.
And again it goes back to beingopen to receive it, because she
didn't have to switch things up,she didn't have to listen to

(56:36):
you.
But to be in a place whereyou're open to receive it speaks
volumes and trusting theprocess and not like well, this
isn't what I set my expectation,this is what I wanted.
Well, it's okay.
You might get somethingbeautiful out of something you
don't want at all.

(56:57):
You never knew it was supposedto happen that way and that's
okay.
And I think that's where itcomes the greatest reward, in
those surprising moments.
And guess what?
Look at it this way.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
It's so funny too, because she said, well, I can't
do this, I don't know that I canafford to do this and I don't
know that I'm going to be ableto continue doing this with you.
And I'm like, honey, it's takencare of.
You've got two people who aregoing to look after you right

(57:31):
now through this process, whojust love you and who want you
to be okay.
It's going to make me cry, Iknow.
And then in that moment, likeyou're saying, being open to
receive, she had, in that splitsecond moment, when I was
talking to her, she wanted topush back a little bit and then
she just said okay, I'll take it, I'll take it and beautiful

(57:55):
things are coming.
Yeah, and she gave me a hug.
Well, you did give the besthugs we have conversations.
Jen gives the best hugs and nowthere's beautiful things
happening with her, and I thinkthat is such a wonderful example
of bringing all of thistogether, and all of those skill

(58:17):
sets work synergisticallytogether 100% they work in
unison and sometimes you'regoing really fast, sometimes you
have to slow down, sometimesyou have to fall over.
It's pinging back to thebeginning is what are you going
to do about every single one ofthose scenarios when it comes up
?
Right, what are you going to dowhen you fall down?

(58:38):
What are you going to do whenyou go?
I just need to rest.
I need to stop for a minute.
Are you going to listen?
Are you going to ask for help?
Are you going to ask thequestions that you need to help?
I mean to get the help.
Are you going to be open toreceive the help when it comes
knocking on your door?

Speaker 1 (58:55):
And I truly believe that we will be willing to
accept it when it's supposed tohappen, because sometimes I mean
, we live in the world whereadvice is everywhere right we
absorb stuff from all over theplace which is too much.
So it's when something issupposed to be in alignment,

(59:17):
trusting the feeling, like theinternal feeling, not the
external validation stuff likewe were talking about earlier
the internal feeling of doesthis feel right?
And our particular friend knewthat this felt right.
She just had to really gothrough some self-discovery
phase of okay, well, maybe itneeds to shift from this to this

(59:39):
for now and maybe it couldshift into something else.
And but being open to receiveand not being stuck into you
know, the, the like expectation,part of it.
Right Speaks volumes, right andum.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
I'm so proud of her, oh my.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
God, me too.
And if we were to leave ourguests with a cliffhanger of
self-discovery today, what wouldit be?

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
Don't slip into what the comfort was.
Keep pushing through theuncomfortable feelings, but
don't go back to what wascomfortable Right.
Don't go back to a time wherethis felt safe, this felt
comfortable.
The things that you don't know,the things that you don't

(01:00:26):
understand, the behaviors you'renot clear on, I'm not worthy.
I'm not worthy.
Don't go back into that levelof comfort.
Go forward, push through it,keep going to figure out who you
are and figure out what youwant and ask for help.
Be open to receive, be open toreceive the help and then do

(01:00:47):
what it takes to keep going andto make things happen.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
And create community around that 100%.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
We have so many wonderful people in our
community, right, so many.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
There's so much coaching.
There's so much coaching,there's so much you know out
there to help you.
You know, if you are stuck in arut, I mean comment on this and
I'm happy to help provide youthe resources that I feel might
work for your situation.
I mean, that's the whole pointof this.
I'm not doing all this for myown coaching clients Love you
all.
I don't have the space and timeto coach everyone one-on-one,
but I love to provide someresources because that's what

(01:01:22):
community is.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
It is.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
And everything's different, like what serves me.
This week is going to bedifferent than next week and was
different than last week.
I might need a little bit moreof something this week than next
week.
I might need something totallydifferent.
So, being open and just havingthat self-awareness and making
time to go inward to trulydiscover what that is, just take
a few moments for yourself.
It could be on the freakingtoilet, which we all do every
day, so there's no excuse not todo this.

(01:01:48):
Just take a minute, take abreath and just go inward,
self-reflect.
What is it I need?
Where do I need to be going?
What feels right for me today?
100%?

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
I love you.
It's always a pleasure.
I don't know why it always goesby so fast it does go fast.
Holy shit, we're going to havea whole series with Jen, okay,
but thank you again for beinghere.
She'll definitely be back.
I feel like we need to do likea four lady round table, which
could probably get a little loudand crazy.
We'll probably have to blockoff a couple hours for that
we're doing.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
It, we're doing it Um .

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Thank you again, jen.
Um Jen Smith co or jensmithco.
Yes, yeah, jensmithcom.
Um, if you're in the businessleadership development coaching
retreats all the things sothanks again, love you, love you
.
That's a wrap.