Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S01E07 | Gator Maze, Dancing Vampires, and Witchy Negotiations - Land of Eem: Actual Play

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, Hey OD folks.
How's everybody doing Living LaVida Loka, as always.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
I could not have said it better myself.
That is exactly La Vida that Iam living.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
All right, so we're here for session seven of this
year.
Campaign of Land of Eem.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Land of Eem RPG the Adventures of Gailen and Riley.
This is the official RPG thattakes place in the world of
Rikety, Stitch and the JaladnaSchool.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Very good East.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Ditch.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Let's kind of recap where we are here.
I'll pull up your quest log.
That isn't completely up todate but it's pretty good.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Quest one build a bridge for Sven the Yodeling
Droll.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
And that's how it all fell apart.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Oh God.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm hearing a little bit of feedback, a little echo
in the background Echo.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
I don't hear the echo .
I wonder if it's me.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Like when George and I speak.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
That's weird.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Tech-knuckle issues.
Tech-knuckle issues, as always.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
So, yeah, it was just a bunch of obligations that
you've been building up tovarious people, building on each
other, just digging yourself inlarger and larger whole.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Which is essentially all come down to taking care of
the witch Shade Wand in theGator Maze, and we believe we
found a secret passage under theswamp through the town of
Synkhul that will take us to thewitch.
But we've got to go through thefoggy witch breath and the

(01:54):
tunnel that has not beenexplored to get there.
And you're taking care of thiswitch because you struck a deal
with the Orches of the QuagmashAnd you've caught wind that
they're actually waging war onthe Muckman, which was there
like part of the deal, Which isgreat for us, because we were

(02:17):
supposed to take care of theMuckman for Vera, the
Mathemagician who's helping usout with the Sven the Yodeling
Troll's bridge, andsimultaneously Geargar, who's
been hunting us throughout theentire Quagmash.
that's going to have some Orchtrouble of their own.
So we've, either in a fit ofmadness or genius, utilized and

(02:45):
leveraged all of these differentforces so that we could
essentially take care of ourdebts.
But this is the closest we'veever been.
I think I love it.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
You did make some money last time, that's true.
A whole wooden pouch, a goldenpouch.
So here you are.
I think we might need to fixthis audio issue.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Okay, i don't know, i'm going to mute myself.
You tell me if it continues.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
Hey there, Benny and George.
Yeah, I think we're.
That's fixed, that's fixed.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
So it's on my end, Hey.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
Noel And hey, dominic , thanks for catching us on
Facebook.
You've stepped right into audioissues, so we're going to take
just 30 seconds here and figurethis out.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
I don't really know what to do?

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Do you have any external speakers going, or
anything like that?

Speaker 1 (03:41):
How's that?
Yeah, how about that?
Yeah, okay, i figured it out.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
I was rolling.
It's like a tiny bit.
I think we can deal with it Allright.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Okay, all right, so I have this.
So we got the map here andyou're at St Cole, but since
you're going into an undergroundtunnel, i've devised a little
mini-game here.
Oh boy, so we'll switch.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
Do we want to Before we go into the tunnel?
do we want to bump up our statsor anything like that?
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Sure.
So one of the mechanics wehaven't really done yet, because
we've been using the experiencepoints that we earn to level is
that we can actually pump upsome of our skills by spending
points.
And maybe we actually want toshare the core rulebook page
that shows the conversion ratefor using experience, just

(04:46):
because this is not only thelive stream of our adventures
but we're also sharing some ofthe mechanics at the Land of
EmRPG Games.
Yeah, Check it out and playyourselves, And if you don't
know already, of course you candownload the entire beta bundle
for free, which includes thecore rulebook, characters,
character sheets, as well as aton of sandbox stuff, like the

(05:08):
map that you were just lookingat And all the characters and
NPCs that we're talking aboutall exist in the Mucklins used
to be Forest Sandbox, which hasgot dozens and dozens of
characters and towns and rumorsand quest hooks and stuff.
So that's actually our entirecampaign is based on that, just
going from random tables todifferent towns, And it's been

(05:30):
pretty fun so far.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
Yeah, i think it bears mentioning that.
You know especially we have afirst time viewer with us that
you know we had just initiallyconceived of this role playing.
The live play sessions is liketo demonstrate the sandbox in
the first episode And then ithas just devolved into this like
sprawling quest that we didn'tthink was going to happen.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
The campaign to save the Mucklins from so happy and
just.
You know I would say evolved,not devolved.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
No, no, no no.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
It devolved into a tiny amorphous goo.
That was a little bit ofpersonality.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
Yeah, let's spend some XP.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah so you got.
I don't know how much XP youguys have.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
I actually have a character sheet and I'm going to
use Pencil, which is wild stuff.
Old school Burrio.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Eventually we should get like digital, you know,
digital, digitize them so we canpull it up on the screen so
people can see.
Yeah, absolutely, what levelare you guys?

Speaker 3 (06:40):
I'm level four.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
I'm level four and I have nine experience points.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yeah, and I have eight extra left over.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
So it takes 16 to get to five.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
I think I'm going to spend some points on skills.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, i'm going to spend two experience points on
trickery to take it from a minusone to a plus zero, just
because I seem to use that one alot And it always gets us into
trouble when I fail.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
I think similarly.
I'm going to spend 4xp toimprove my perception from plus
zero to plus one, because I usethat pretty frequently now.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
And that's it.
I just wanted to make a littleadjustment and pump my stats so
that we can kick some butt.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
Okay, cool.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
What did you pump?
I pumped nimbleness or I'msorry I wrote nimbleness, but I
pumped trickery.
Pump, pump up Plus zero, pluszero trickery, because I was
minus one.
So I felt, you know, and nolonger penalties, Indeed
Straight D12.
Okay, all right.

(08:08):
All right, let's begin theadventure.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, so when we were in Sinkhole, we found a tunnel
that leads us over to the Gatormaze and the witch that we need
to deal with.
So let's see.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
George, can you scroll up on the map?

Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yeah, absolutely Okay .
So Is that where you want it?

Speaker 1 (08:33):
The Fodge of War.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
This is how it's going to work here.
We've got this maze ahead ofyou, okay, and you're at the top
.
You want to go down, and everytime you hit a dead end you'll
have to make a check.
Got it?
A search, check to see whathappens.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
Oh, I should have pumped my search.
We haven't started yet I'mpumping search.
It's not too late.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
Tell me which way you want to go left or right.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
I'm going to adopt a strategy that our good friend
Darren Korb has, which is toalways go left.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Okay, not always, i mean, he's hardcore about it.
But I'm going to go left, i'lllook where to you, nice.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
So we've come over, come down here.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Okay, So you could either go.
Sorry So tricky here StraightLike what do you think?

Speaker 1 (09:55):
What do you think George?
like right here underground, sowe don't really have any
bearings.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Ben, can you click those again real quick?
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
There's like two paths.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
I would say whatever involves us turning left.
Okay, does that make sense?
Yeah, like James said, we don'thave any real bearings.
Nice, okay.
So I see there's like one pathstraight and one path right.

(10:33):
So it goes, goes to, unlessstraight at that end.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
Furious clicking.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
Clicky, clicky, clicky All right.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
You say you want to go left or right.
Are you always going left?

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Are we right?
here I say we.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
I say, we go right.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Yeah, i say we go right as well, because our goal
is towards the bottom.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
I really I felt that starting it off with left to pay
homage to Darren, yeah, yeah,okay.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
You can go left or right from that space.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Let's see What are the surroundings look like?
Is it like all?

Speaker 2 (11:17):
So you're basically walking through a tunnel that
looks like it's sort of been dugout.
It's dripping with sludge, butin everything is like obscured
by gloom, otherwise known aswitch breath.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
The witch breath.
Yeah, the witch breath doesn'tdo anything to us mechanically
yet.
Right Yeah, right now, littlechilly, oh, right now God.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
You feel like you can hear the famous pickaxes.
You know that could be from theminers, Sure Distantly or not.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Well, there were skeletal miners in the mines.
Weren't there at some point?

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, Should we avoid the pickaxes?
Is that close?
The pickaxes lead closer towhere we came from or farther.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
You really can't tell .

Speaker 3 (12:26):
Okay, i mean, maybe we'll turn, was it right, so we
can keep going farther in.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
So shade wand is responsible for the witch breath
, right?

Speaker 3 (12:42):
That's our guess.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
So maybe rumor.
So I'm going to go off of thatrumor and use eyes for clues and
say that let's follow the pathwhere the witch breath is the
thickest.
I like it And I will roll asearch.
I will roll a search in thename of D 12.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
Six All right, ain't too bad, i'll take it Okay.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
I'll say that you know, since this is sort of a
different scenario here, Goingdown this way is definitely
feeding towards the thickergloom, as opposed to over here.
Okay, but you still have achoice of right or left.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
I mean down to the right, correct.
Yeah, Let's go with that.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
I mean left or right from here.

Speaker 3 (13:58):
Oh, once we go down this position, got it, and so,
and either one seems about thesame in terms of like the witch
breath.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
Okay, i said we're going to left.
We haven't done in a while.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
Let's do it.
Left, it is into the gloom.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
The bug doesn't like that.
It's true.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
Ooh, it's like a bigger area.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
A bigger area.
Okay, now you can go left orright from here.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
And we're right where my cursor is basically.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Maybe we left like down this way.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, this is a legit maze.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, you end up hitting a dead end.
Oh no, make a search check.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
All right, i just pumped my search to be plus zero
, so there's no penalty.
At least I am a living penalty.
Dice roller has been broken fora long time.
There's nothing here.

(15:51):
I don't detect the presence ofanything.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Can I use?

Speaker 3 (15:57):
One to hand.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yeah, i mean it's not .
Yeah, actually, you want us tomove the tables, david, an
abstract roll.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
Yeah, i start panicking immediately.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Let's head back the way we came and then take a
right.
Okay.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
Well, you have something to deal with.
No, no we don't want to dealwith it.
Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, ohboy.
So roll a D100.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
It's my favorite thing to do.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
Do it, galen, let's make it happen 61.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
61.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Interesting.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
What does it mean when VM says Oh no.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
What can mean very, very many things?
Yeah, In this case it'sinteresting because it's
something that doesn't havestats or is not yet in the book,
but it's like in the book.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Interesting.
Yeah, so a lot of the sandboxstuff is like not out for
QuackMash, all right.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
So while you're traveling through this tunnel,
the dead end sort of leads youto a subterranean lake area
Interesting Two or not two,Let's see how many Two.

(17:35):
The property is fulfilled, Twoniads emerge from the lake with
harpoons and they seem hostile.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Niads are merfolk.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
Merfolk, Can I put up my froggy hands and say Hey old
friends, we mean you no harm,We seek passage through.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
Yeah, make a charm check.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
Oh good, Hey, look at that.
I kind of like puff out mypouch, my froggy bellows, frog
throat, yeah, and I be ascharming as I can.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
There are two female niads and one of them comes the
other down and says what are youdoing here?

Speaker 1 (18:48):
We're looking for a way through this passage after a
witch called the Shade Wand.
Have you ever heard of her?

Speaker 2 (18:58):
We have.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
Do you know where she is?

Speaker 3 (19:03):
Maybe you could lead us out At a quest.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
We won't lead you out .
I gave it a shot.
It's too dangerous.

Speaker 3 (19:17):
That way I'd stop her and I'd say dangerous for you
guys to be too close to thewitch, or?
Yes, the path out is dangerous.
Okay, i see.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
We can tell you.
When you come to a fork in theroad, you have to take the left
route.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Left at the fork in the road.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
Left turn it out Burkherky.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Got it, thank you.
Is there anything else weshould watch out for down here?

Speaker 2 (20:02):
Some say there are skeletons.
But we don't venture far, wejust defend this area here.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
Interesting.
Let's say why did you guys makeyour home deep down here?

Speaker 2 (20:24):
We come from the waters.
This is just an entrance.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Got it.
They live in an underwater lake.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
That's fascinating, connected to the sea.
We could leave this place andgo to the ocean.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
You could, for five minutes.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
I could for five minutes and then it would be a
horrible, horrible drowning.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Unfortunately I don't have any scuba gear or whatever
.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
I mean Diving bell.
The quagmash is full of water,so this You may not.
You're likely somewhere in thegate or maze right now.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
At least we're getting closer.
We'll thank them and then headout on our way, perhaps.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Cool.
She stops you and says what doyou mean to do to the witch?
You mean to slay her?

Speaker 3 (21:26):
No, we mean to talk.
We've been asked to deal withher by some faction of people
who have a knee-jerk reactionagainst magic.
They want to see what the real,the witches are terrified of
her.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
We're going to go check it out and see if we can't
smooth things over.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Assuming she's not terrifying and evil Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:53):
In which case then you know yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
In which case we'll have to figure something out.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
Their expressions look kind of dire And one of
them hands you a harpoon andsays you'll probably need this.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
I say thank you, aim for the heart, aim for the heart
Wow.
Oh man, this is not what Ithought, okay.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
But it sets the tone.
At least we know we're notgoing to do a lot of talking.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, this is a real fiend.

Speaker 3 (22:30):
Benny, is this a magical harpoon in any way?

Speaker 2 (22:35):
No, are you sure It's magnificent.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
Oh, I hand it to Riley.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Wait, magnificent, i have a magnificent sword.
Is that the same?
Will this be a trusty harpoon,then, or do we have to find the
prefix for it?

Speaker 2 (22:59):
Yeah, roll a d12.

Speaker 3 (23:01):
Okay, cool 11.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
It's steady, steady.
This weapon is always caughtwhen tossed to someone.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
Wow, that's amazing.
All right, well, i'm armed withthe spelunker spear of pole
vaulting.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
Okay, i'll hold on to this, yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
If you can toss it or whatever.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Toss me I don't want you guys to just assume that you
have to kill her.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
But it could be fair.
They scared the bejesus out ofus.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
To be fair, you gave a 70% harpoon.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
Deny it's perception of everything.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
All right, let's do it.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
Force You track back and you end up here.
So the way to go leads you tothe fork in the road.

(24:16):
You see there's three differentways to go.
They told you to go left.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah, Yeah, we go left the core principle, yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
All right.
So would you like to go left orright with this diverging path?

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Let's continue left Haha.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
I tricked you, i tricked you.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
It's another.
All right, you want to roll upyour roll of your stuff?
That was the most GME thingever.
Haha, i tricked you Roll yourown counter.
Ben's whole weekend was madewith that one moment in time.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
These niads will not be so charismatic, all right.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
It's the male niads.
They say why were you talkingto our women?
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (25:24):
Is it D100?

Speaker 3 (25:26):
D12.
Search Search.
11.
Nice, my cat is.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
Say hi noodle, Hello noodle, I don't know All right
So nothing here.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
If you would like, you can search for crafting
stuff.
Oh cool Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
Let's get you some more.
Yeah, let's We can find somegear made specific herbs or
something growing down here.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
I will look for.
Let's see, i'm a tinker So I'lllook for, like some other
crafting components, since it'sa mine.
Maybe there's like metals orUseful things.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
It's going to be the same check either way.
right, like a wilderness check,yeah, and then can I assist
with my wilderness, since we'reboth here.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
Not during the travel part.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
Not during.
Okay, i see what you're saying.
If this was, if we were at acamp, i could assist.
Got it.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
I'll look for elemental components.
Cool D12.
I'm just going to be a 14.
Natural, 12.
Wow.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
You get to pick it then I I get to pick it.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
I will pick a weirding gem.
It's weird.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
That's weird.
I'll just follow you All right.
Cool, you have a weirding gem.
What do we do?
Cool, all right, so follow thisother path, and it leads you to

(27:42):
this choice of going left Thisway Top and bottom.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
Oh sorry.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yeah, Top left, bottom left or down.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
Oh, I'm kind of feeling that bottom left All
right.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
All right, the miss is getting really thick, so
thick over here.
Now you have the option of leftor right.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
What do you think, James?

Speaker 1 (28:40):
I think we could go right.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
Yeah, this one.
Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Dead end.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
Whoa, all right, you're a last one.
Yep, so four.
Did I bump my?
I bumped it to a zero.
Okay, so it's still a four, sothe request point would not help
.
One D, 100.
Yeah, 55.

(29:13):
Oh, no, no.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Just because I laughed doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
Yes, it does.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
It does.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
We know it's too well , it means high jinx.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
Yeah, we don't want something like this to happen
Some people would definitely

Speaker 2 (29:41):
be ensuing.
Okay, you find a vampire.
Oh my god, yeah, he was he.
He was asleep, yeah he was.
He was asleep.
Somebody perks up like rightwhen you stumble in it, of the
identify, tattered close to looklike from another era to see

(30:06):
seems actually like such you soentertainment, yes, are you.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, we're the tunnel cleaners.
We're going through and makingsure that everything's neat and
tidy here.
I don't see you here on theroster.
Did you sign in with Chuck atSinkhole?

Speaker 2 (30:42):
I've been sleeping for hundreds of years.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
I mean, Chuck did look pretty old.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
I'm going to pretend.
What year is it?
1987.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
I've been asleep for millennia.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
I guess it's only been 50 years.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
You live down here, Yeah this conversation is
getting boring.

Speaker 3 (31:15):
Why don't?

Speaker 2 (31:15):
you do a dance or something.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
I'm going to do a dance with the fire spit, kind
of like a fire dancer.
I'm basically going to spinaround and indiscriminately
shoot fireballs in the air.
Let me make a charm check.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
I'll probably shoot him with the fire spit.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
I'm going to say, hey , he's a little rusty and I'll
take the fire lizard from theother one.
I only have the fire lizard.
I lost the stick last time.
I'll take the two lizards andI'll use jack of all trades and
be like I haven't done thissince high school.
But I'll start juggling thefire lizards.
I can't entertain him.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
Gail, you notice?

Speaker 2 (32:16):
he really glares at you.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
Disgust.
And suddenly he's not glaringat me anymore.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
Double critical failure.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
This vampire lunges at you, fangs bared.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Oh geez, Can I dive out of the way?

Speaker 2 (32:44):
Yeah, we're starting a conflict.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
No, you rolled with advantage and it's still.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
We had to get him out of the way.
You call that entertainment.
I'm offended.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
You call those clothes.
I offend him further.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Yeah, let's poke the bear The vampire went to sleep.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
What has changed in the last 50 years?
You should be groveling at myfeet.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
No Zona.
Imbak, our mushroom companion,slowly backs away down the
tunnel saying they're going tofight the vampire.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
What has changed in the last 50 years.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
He has listed all the things.
Many things have changed, but Ithink vampires still think.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
So there's Parley.
Yeah, i'm going to Parley.
I have an idea.
I say got disadvantage onParley Because of my advantage,
he's fantastic.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
Okay, i'm still going to try it.

Speaker 3 (33:58):
I'll say Parley, whatever you're about to do,
you're definitely going to bebetter than you're juggling.
Let me roll that inspirationcheck.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
So I'll be disadvantage, but the bonus.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
But plus two.
Yeah, okay, i do it, you'reinspired.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
Here we go.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
Whoa, oh wait, that's still a five.
Yeah, okay, better than twoones Success with a twist.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
What twist?
He says wait, what do you say?
I haven't said it yet.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
I'm going to say a lot's changed in the last 50
years.
I mean, you're a vampire, butguy a witch moved in and
everybody's terrified of her.
You're nothing compared to that, That's true.
Nothing, Nothing up your game.
I mean, don't get me wrong, Ithink you're terrifying, but

(35:03):
everybody else is.
you know, even the big orcs.
If you heard of those guys,they're terrified of this witch
too.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
Cut to scrunch in the tunnel, terrified of this
vampire.
Yeah, I mean, if I were you Iwould ring in the corner.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
I'd reevaluate your look and feel and maybe we could
help.
Are you thinking makeover?

Speaker 3 (35:26):
I am thinking makeover.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Oh, just a shower.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
Um, he says, I'll lean my strength back.
You got it.
You got a drink.

Speaker 3 (35:43):
You got a drink, you got a drink.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
Yeah, just come here.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Well, hold on, hold on.
There's lots of things to drinkthan are at us.
I mean, you're really going todrink the people that have your
best interests in mind.
I mean, we've been around, weknow what the world is like
today.
You need us.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Do you want?
to do this or not.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
I'm not going to kill you.
I do not want to do this, butthere's got to be something else
to eat.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
I'm going to eat a full steed like my tortoise,
Like it's really terrible, butyou know like I could drink you
Second question Did we heal upbetween?
We did right Like we spent sometime in town before we set off.
We just failed to say that.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Look, I will help you take care of this witch.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
Yeah, you can drink me, That's fine.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
It's, i mean, i think it's worth it.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
I find it highly disturbing that there's someone
else here taking my fame.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
I'm kind of okay with turning into a vampire.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
It's probably That's what a vampire bugger looks like
.
I have no equipment or anything.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
Yeah, no, I think I'll accept it.
I'll accept him into my heart.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
I'm going to say you know what, galen, i can't let
you do that.
I can't let you do that, i'mgoing to have to You're throwing
yourself headlong.
I'm going to step forward likeput on my hand and be like take
a bite guy.

Speaker 3 (37:29):
And then I'm going to use my ideal and rescue James
from danger.
I really Whoop.
We both are just farming XP offyou at this point, but I think

(37:53):
he bites both of you.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Here we go.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Here we go, Georgie.
We got a vampire down here.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
Vampire O'Toothys shark.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
Alright, first against George.
It's one courage drawn from you.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
I was so courageous.
Ben real quick, though, did werecover our HPs between sessions
, because there was downtimebefore we went into this tunnel.
I guess, so I appreciate that Ifeel like we wouldn't have set

(38:39):
out with nothing.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
Yeah, i mean you could have stayed with the
Puddlejumper, wow.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
So seriously.
Look at all the ones we'verolled in the last five rolls.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
Clearly the vampire's , weakened from sleeping for 50
years.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
And he's not even satiated.
He's like uh, come He stilllooks a little weak.
He doesn't look like a viralvampire.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Can I say like that was not very impressive.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
I mean, look at you, you're just a little rat.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
I know you can't even take care of a little rat.
We gotta bring your speed.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
I prefer human flesh, you know, like a supple human
flesh.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Maybe, we can find something more.
I don't know that we've evermet a human.
Have we even met a human?
I don't think you can see onebefore Was Vera a human?
No, she's a troll.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
There are no humans in these lands.
That's really funny.
Well, i tell the vampire.
I say good sir, what is yourname?

Speaker 2 (39:59):
My name is Weego.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
The carpet.
He is Weego.
I'm Weego Um alright, so you'rejoining us.

Speaker 3 (40:14):
Well I say, perhaps the witch is a human, you can
suck her blood.
That's witch blood, it'spowerful blood.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
What do you know of this witch?

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Well, I know she's a witch.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Well, we know that everybody's scared of her.
We don't.
We've never met her.
We know we're pretty close toher hideout And that's about it.
So you know, maybe you want todrink her blood, maybe you don't
.
Yeah, but she certainly has thebrand awareness Okay.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
That's what I'm most concerned about Your brand.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
Well, first of all, look at your clothes.
You got to, you got to flash upa little bit.
I mean, my gosh, i'll like pickup some, like strings hanging
from his sleep, but I mean,these were in the latest fashion
in my day.
Oh, i'm sure They're notanymore.
I mean, look at my kicks andI'll be like I'll like do a
little jig with my boots.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
Yeah, I asked the vampire why are you just down
here in these tunnels?

Speaker 2 (41:32):
You know, as, as you mentioned you know, the human
population just kind of shrinkever since they called it the
Dungeon Era.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
So I came down here to hibernate.
You know it's all boggles andboggarts and goblins.
I just don't have a taste forthat necessarily.

Speaker 3 (42:01):
I'm kind of offended as a boggrel, but at least he
doesn't have a taste for me.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
He didn't say anything about shrimp.
So what are you going?

Speaker 2 (42:11):
to do.
I don't remember seeing you inthese, your kind, in these parts
before shrimp.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, we, we live back East in the land of shrimp.
I'm a foreigner, but I grew up.
I grew up in, i grew up thisguy.
Actually our town was attackedby the Sarpathy.
If you've ever run into thoseserpent folk.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
Yeah, maybe you have a taste for snakemen.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
Not familiar.
No, i don't like snakemen.
You see you're describing allthese people that have rough
skin.
like I said, like supple, youknow I don't like to work too
hard to get through, get thattasty blood plasma.

(43:03):
I hungry for plasma right, solead the way so now this guy's
my companion.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
Yeah, oh man, we've got the funniest group of
companions in the world.
We've got the, the chroniclermushroom guy he's on a box lunch
, the little orch.
Yeah, this guy, and L BarryBarryson, is lost in the jungle
yeah, he's lost, eaten by wolves.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
He's eating.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
He's lich bean, not wolf bean this is like really
weirded out by this vampire andit's like sort of acting like an
e-walk like poking at it with asticker, like yeah, this is
just a sklunch, don't mind, thegreat guy yeah big wizard big

(44:02):
wizard, big power, no touchy sookay, we don't even know if the
witch is supple, if she will bedelicious with nothing, no idea.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
I mean she might have tough leathery skin yeah, i
don't have to worry, i don'tcare about that.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
Like I said, she's the big name in town.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
I mean, i feel like I need to replace her let's do it
, let's, let's get you to yourdestiny alright, and we go back
the other way.
We'll go out and go down thisway, yeah okay, long story short

(44:51):
.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
That leads you to a dead end.
Oh, no well dang it alright.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
Who?

Speaker 1 (44:58):
rolled the last.
Maybe this encounter will aidus, did I?

Speaker 3 (45:04):
roll.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
The last one, i almost feel like we're held
hostage by this vampire.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
By the way, I think it's a flat organization.
We're equal partners.
Who rolled?
did I roll the last searchcheck yeah, okay, i will search
do it right.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
7, 7.
Okay, okay, um roll a d6 1d6like a d6 5 okay, unwanted

(45:48):
attention.
Oh wait, you're conspicuous asyou travel drawing a d6.
Okay, okay, let me accept.
Well, that's certainly true, weare conspicuous.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
So we have this group of people who are assembled,
hahahaha um go back and go theother way yeah, we may have to
go all the way back to this, tothat area right there.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Yeah, that's a good idea we're gonna go back to the
other way.
Yeah, we're gonna go back tothe other way to that area right
there yeah, this area up hereum, is that what it has been?
we'll do top left or there'sbottom right correct.
What do you think, james?

(46:37):
maybe bottom right?

Speaker 2 (46:40):
what does your gut say?
alright, what gut says rightyeah, let's do it okay, you um
can go up, or right let's go upokay while we're walking.

Speaker 3 (47:08):
I ask wego.
I say wego, you know you madeyour way down here 50 years ago.
Did you know the layout of themaze at all before you got lost
in it and you got a little bitof a?

Speaker 2 (47:22):
bit of a hibernated.
No what?
I didn't know it was a maze?
I don't think it was a maze.
There's a hole.
I just went into a holeinteresting it's amazing.
Um yeah, dead end.

(47:42):
You've uh gone into acircuitous hmm, it's a five, can
I?

Speaker 3 (47:51):
no, i'm not going to add a quest point, i'm just
going to accept my fate okay,roll a d100 d100 54 54 okay, um,

(48:13):
oh, the chuckling again it'spart of.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
It is like in trying to fit it into the old?

Speaker 3 (48:27):
yeah, for sure.
It's like 80 miniature shrimpshow up in a trench coat
pretending to be one giantshrimp exactly um, okay.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
So as you're walking through this uh like this tunnel
you start wading into water, soyou're in like ankle and then
knee deep water.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
I keep looking back at wego, seeing if he
immediately dissolves when he'sin water, uh, forgetting that
that might be, which is he'sfloating yeah, i keep.

Speaker 1 (49:07):
I keep waiting for that chance where we can like
open up a hatch and let thesunlight in to grab him.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
He's hovering above the water right now.
Um, so you come to an areawhere this haggard gnome, oh, is
fishing.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
I say, uh, sir, you wouldn't by any chance have a
name that starts with letter V.
Would you what?
you wouldn't be like a V,something, something?
would you kind of a what?

Speaker 1 (49:45):
kind of a what's that ?
who are you in the middle of acave, in the middle of nowhere?
um?

Speaker 2 (49:54):
quiet.
Uh, i think I got her.
You seem like something on uhhis fishing line and um, there's
like a violent jerk and he goeswhoa is he?
struggling now he is yeah yeah,feet of strength.

Speaker 3 (50:14):
Uh, to perform an act of heroic strength to a normal
adventurer.
I want to grab his fishing lineand just yank it out of the
water.
Uh, oh god, i really hope thisworks.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Uh plus two yeah, critical success cool that you
never fail at the feet ofstrength yeah, it's like always
the best thing knock someone outand catch the greatest fish in
the universe.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
I love this fling the line and, uh, a huge river sore
.
Oh, just pulled out of thewater and you like fling it
backwards and it actually likeslams into the wall, hahahaha,
and flops back into the water.
Um, so you deal a a dread to it, wow, um, but now there is an

(51:18):
ordinary river sore.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
I mean he was going to be pretty pissed off anyways
with this hook in his mouth,hahahaha yeah, the hook is still
in his mouth.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Um is this a catch and release situation.
I'll ask the gnome uh no dinner.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
This is a yeah, this is a behead.
And cook, let's do it.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
I pull out my harpoon and my sword.
What on each hand?
um, does the gnome look like hehas any weapons or no?

Speaker 2 (52:04):
yeah, he's got a knife I can I toss him the
harpoon?
hahahaha, he catches it, it'salways caught when you talk.
That's so great ah yeah, youcan do that, i do so just to
explain the area here, it's likehe's just pulled this thing out

(52:28):
of.
What you're guessing is like adeeper, like sort of like, kind
of like the niads like goes deepyeah, because you guys were
walking in like knee high waterand suddenly there's like a huge
pit.
Got it, um, yeah.

(52:52):
So I guess, what do you?

Speaker 3 (52:54):
guys want to do combat baby, we're gonna.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
We gotta eat too.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
This is a heck of a catch yeah, can even get some
fresh river sore blood for ourfriend here the vampire, you see
, is like looking really boredright now both he is scrunch is
like raising his spear above hishead yeah, the vampire is just
like he's like clipping hisfingernails, like yeah, i love

(53:23):
it alright there are a rollinitiative fighting a priest
work fish and he's hanging it.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
He's just so drooled.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
Oh god, i go way after the river sore.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
I get plus one initiative, nice because of the
uh 12.
The spelunker spear.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
The gnome also goes afterwards.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
The river store.
Oh okay, yeah, You go.
How dare you.
Me first or you first in thegimmie gimmies.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
I spirit 12.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
Wow, nice.

Speaker 3 (54:28):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
And my dread is D6.
Wow, wow, well, these were withthese roles for seven sessions.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
So 12 to match.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
That's amazing 12 dread Fear me River saw, or I'm
Riley Springle.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
All right, this thing has taken 20 dread and it still
looks fine.

Speaker 1 (55:07):
Fine, i'm okay, you've gotten its attention now.
Yeah, it was looking atsomething else.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
And now it's its turn .

Speaker 3 (55:16):
Yeah, oh boy.

Speaker 2 (55:20):
It has two actions.
It attacks Riley and Galen.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
I accept.

Speaker 1 (55:30):
Riley, here we go.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
What's your defense, though?
It's plus one.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
Oh, that's right, yeah we got to fix our defense.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Yeah, we should probably.
When we know we're going to gointo like deep dark cave mazes
in places like sinkhole lookingfor witches, we should probably
have armor or shields or weaponsthat are capable.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
It deals nine red dew .

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Oh, my lord, i'm going to use stout heart Smart.
I love it.
Reduce it to one because I ammighty courageous.

Speaker 3 (56:12):
Okay, oh, ben, can we tag in scrunch, two?

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, james, on a nine plus biteattack, you are caught in the
creature's mouth.
Oh, okay, so you're chomped.
You only take one dread.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
But I'm in its mouth.
I'm in a dinosaur mouth.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
Yes, And you currently can't move and it can
just deal damage to you nextround unless you get out.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
I now know my action GTFOTT.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
So yeah, you can roll for scrunch as well.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
Okay, Let me roll just like.
probably have a zero perception.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
Oh sorry, It has a tail.
thrash attack against you,George.

Speaker 3 (57:11):
Yeah, go for it, go for it.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
Your defense is also plus one, correct.

Speaker 3 (57:29):
No, sir, I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
So it actually hits everyone in the area with its
tail, except Riley At leastyou're safe from the tail attack
?

Speaker 3 (57:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
I'm being nod.

Speaker 3 (57:49):
Okay, is that the end of its turn spin?

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Oh, sorry, that wasn't damage.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
Oh, that was like how many hit targets it hits.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
Yeah, oh God, that's a lot.

Speaker 2 (58:08):
These are serious enemies.

Speaker 3 (58:12):
Thank you for clarifying.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
The tail thrash gets the attention of the vampire.

Speaker 3 (58:19):
I was going to do something.
My turn to make him jump in.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
But yeah, you can help me out and roll for the
gnome as well as scrunch both ofyou, okay.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
Yeah, I'll roll for scrunch.
Scrunch is probably just goingto have a regular attack with
his spear.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
It's Halbert.

Speaker 3 (58:45):
It's Halbert.
Oh, does he have any bonuses?

Speaker 2 (58:50):
Plus one.

Speaker 3 (58:52):
Can I give him a quest point?
No, no, he can getcounterattacked, it's fine.
I need to save those questpoints for myself.
What's his damage on a d8?
10?

Speaker 2 (59:06):
Oh, so the defense on a river shore is actually plus
one.
That would be just a hit.

Speaker 3 (59:12):
Oh nice, okay cool.
And what's Squatch's dread?
Is it going to be like mine,d10?

Speaker 2 (59:22):
I think it was an 8.

Speaker 3 (59:24):
Was it 8?
Okay, yeah, he's little orc,little orc.
6 damage.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
Okay, excellent.

Speaker 3 (59:35):
And then, James, do you want to go for the Scarith
Garrison?

Speaker 1 (59:43):
The Gnome or the Wampir.
I can go for the Gnome, theattack.

Speaker 3 (59:54):
He's still reeling.
Why is this?

Speaker 1 (59:55):
working.
He's like sorry guys, he's alltangled in fishing line.
He's like, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
So yeah, the gnome accidentally gets in the way of
Wego And they actually startfighting a little bit until they
realize they're on the sameside.
What are you doing, idiot?

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
I was going to give Wego like a bloodlust.
I don't know, is he alreadywanting to, so he's invested in
the fight already.
I don't have to convince himanymore.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Right, but the gnome's critical failure kind of
negated his action.

Speaker 3 (01:00:42):
Okay, that's fine, But as long as he continues to
fight next turn.
if we make it that far.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
Hey, sf Dragon, what's up?

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
Hey, hey, welcome.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Welcome, welcome.
We're fighting a dinosaur in acave.
Exactly It's a river.
Yeah, a river sore.

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
Ben, is my war tortoise with us still, i assume
.
so right, yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Yeah, he's like playing Candy Crush in the back.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
Yeah, he's like oh yeah, yeah, Can I attack and
then also have him deal 1d10?
Dread to an adversary and knockit over.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
Yeah, you'll need to roll initiative again.

Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
I haven't used my turn yet.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
Oh well, Someone was going to skip me.

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
I'm just saying But can I?
It says in my war tortoisething that once per session he
can deal Dread.
I assume that happens like thealligator.
It's in addition to my own turn.
Yes, okay, cool, so let me rollmy attack.
God bless it.

(01:02:00):
Yeah, anyway, my tortoise.
Well, do you want to doanything for the critical miss?

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
Well, it's not a critical miss, because it's a 3.

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
Oh, okay, right, because it has some bonuses to
it.
Then let's do roll plus attackfor my tortoise, my war tortoise
.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
You give plus 1 to your tortoise, if that makes any
difference.

Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
Ish, i mean yeah.
So the 8 is what the wartortoise hits And it does d10
damage, does max damage, does aram's it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Nice.

Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
Okay, i think that's everyone this turn.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
Indeed, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
Next round Roll my strip.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
I roll a 6 for me.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Okay, god, again, these ones are killing me, and
then I'll roll for wego as well.
He's wego, okay, he goes before.
Or sklench too Shoot, there'sso many people in our park now
And sklench also goes before.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
So how do you want to do Wego, just going to go drink
the River Source blood.

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
I'll do Wego.

Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
Okay, wow, thank you for doing it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:07):
That's a nice one.

Speaker 2 (01:04:13):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:04:16):
His attention has been gathered 20.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
That's 20.
20 dread he just did.

Speaker 3 (01:04:24):
That's incredible I mean I'm glad we're not fighting
him.

Speaker 2 (01:04:29):
He just like tears into this thing with his claws.
It's like really gory, i loveit And you all have to turn away
.

Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
I can't, I just I can't stop staring.
I'm transfixed by it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
Violence character is never quite the same afterwards
.

Speaker 3 (01:04:49):
Yeah, sklench, like dips his fingers in the blood
and like puts it on his forehead.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
The gnome particularly, is like really
taking it back by how this RiverSource killed Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
I'm going to like pry myself out of its mouth like
this And then crawl like on theground like out of it covered in
saliva and gunk.
Thanks guys, That was a closeone.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
That's a vampire.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
Yeah, You know we found him asleep in a hole.
He's been there about 50 yearsand he's looking to revamp his
image because he's not scaredanymore.
But that did a lot forconvincing me that he's
terrifying.

Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
Yeah, we go like ravenously like feeding on this
now Like triggered his bloodlust.

Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
We go.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
got his groove back, we go got his groove back And
the gnome says can I talk to youtwo for a second here?

Speaker 3 (01:06:04):
Yeah, Yeah, we introduce ourselves.
I'm Galen Dundugl.

Speaker 1 (01:06:09):
Riley Springle, at your service.

Speaker 2 (01:06:12):
I'm a pee, maybe WAP Diedel.

Speaker 3 (01:06:22):
Ben's hit on this.

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
Pause for a moment and just congratulate Ben for
being able to create thegreatest gnome names Ever P.
He's got to write that down orelse I'll never be WAP Diedel.
What's the P stand for?

(01:06:44):
Older goose, oh, spain Love it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
Yeah, i know my way around the occult, as it were.
You definitely are steeped inthe occult right now.
Yeah, i feel that's a nice wayof putting it.
I think it's best if youextricate yourself from the
situation.
I don't disagree So thing is ifyou're a wise, if you're a.

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
I totally do it.
I just keep blinking.
Look, it was either help himout or be eaten Or be eaten.

Speaker 1 (01:07:35):
So we're actually bringing him to a witch and our
intention is to have the twodestroy each other And then
we'll get out of there.
That's kind of our thing.

Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
What's your thing?

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
Well, we're on a quest to actually save all the
Muclins from the Sarpathi, butwe keep falling into this
situation that are way over ourhead, And so we've gotten into a
habit of pitting one evilorganization against another.
So while they're fightingamongst themselves, we're able

(01:08:19):
to take care of the real threat,which is the Sarpathi.
But it's hard to think aboutnow, considering we've got this
vampire guy eating a giganticmonster behind us and we're on
our way to go see a witch, whomay or may not be just as bad or
worse.

Speaker 3 (01:08:36):
Yeah, What she said.

Speaker 2 (01:08:44):
Now I got two things you can do.
Okay, you can run like hell,i'll deal with this vampire.

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
I can't deal with this.
I look at him like not totallysure, because he's still covered
with like Yeah, fishing, wiring.

Speaker 3 (01:09:08):
Yeah, you're like we did him a second time Continue.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
We're hearing you.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
Or you can keep treading down this dark path
that you seem to be on, And Idon't know what the future holds
.
You see pitting one monsteragainst the other.
I know Shade Wand and What youknow, Shade Wand.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
I do.
I think my ears perk up Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:09:38):
All right, just level with us.
Is she evil or not?
She is evil yes, okay, thatmakes things a little bit easier
.

Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
But you know I can talk to her sometimes.
You know what I mean.
We don't always have to come toblows.

Speaker 3 (01:09:58):
Well, look, we're trying to get her to either
leave or we're trying to keepthe Orch's happy, because
they're terrified of her And sheposes a threat to them and the
swamp.

Speaker 2 (01:10:13):
That's true, she does , but she's quite powerful, even
more powerful than this vampire.

Speaker 1 (01:10:21):
Well, maybe we can talk to her, figure out what
she's motivated by and getaround to it.

Speaker 3 (01:10:27):
And then go retrieve that for.

Speaker 2 (01:10:30):
Yeah, and then be indebted to people with it.
Wego is now standing likedirectly behind you.
He says awkward.
What are we talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:10:42):
I'm going to like pause a moment and then look at
Galen, then look back at thegnome and shake the gnome's hand
and be like about what wetalked about and then bolt.
But after I take my third stepI trip over a river sore bone.

(01:11:05):
Oh my God, because my flaw isthat I trip at an opportune time
.

Speaker 2 (01:11:21):
What were you doing, Galen?

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
Just watching and laughing, mostly because of the
hopelessness of the situation.
I'll turn around to watch Rileyfall and then turn to the
vampire and say, oh he knows,shade Wand, we were just talking
strategy.

Speaker 2 (01:11:43):
Wego, picks you up by the collar, riley like, holds
you up with impossible strength.

Speaker 3 (01:11:51):
Renewed impossible strength after drinking an
entire river.
Sore worth of blood.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
Were you trying to run away?
That's what it seemed like.

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
I'll dust myself off.
Be like run away, No, no.

Speaker 3 (01:12:11):
It's a poor attempt at humor.

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
The kiss of a vampire is bond.
I remember.

Speaker 3 (01:12:25):
Are we his thralls now?

Speaker 2 (01:12:29):
If you want to be, i would hurt not to be.
I will need a new cadre.
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (01:12:40):
Alright, everyone line up.
Let's get bitten and become a.
I say no, no, no, I wouldrather not be your permanent
thrall.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
I'm going to go gather some firewood for the
camp And I'll look at Galen Wink.

Speaker 3 (01:13:05):
Yeah, I mean, let's talk about the table for a
second.
Can you think we should justtry to kill this guy and then
get the gnome on our side?

Speaker 1 (01:13:15):
The gnome offered to take care of this guy.
He dabbles in the occult.
The gnome was a f***ing old man.

Speaker 3 (01:13:28):
So do you want to just run?

Speaker 1 (01:13:31):
I was going to run, go get some firewood and never
come back, oh god Or.

Speaker 3 (01:13:41):
I'm just trying to think how all of us are going to
get away, because there's a lotof us And he floats above water
.
Just be sloshing away.

Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
What is the likelihood that we could have
him chase us into daylight?

Speaker 3 (01:13:59):
Yeah, can we ask PMibi how close we are?

Speaker 1 (01:14:06):
I'm sure we would miss the sun.
It would be nice to have thatwarm glow.

Speaker 3 (01:14:14):
We're probably going to come out and it'll be
nighttime, with our luck.

Speaker 1 (01:14:23):
I'm not just knowing that it'll be nighttime.

Speaker 3 (01:14:26):
It'll totally be nighttime.
We've been down here a while.
I think we either need to fighthim or just keep rolling with
him.

Speaker 1 (01:14:40):
Okay, Let's continue down this path.
I'll share a wink with thegnome and be like you're right.
What are we going to do?

Speaker 2 (01:14:59):
He gives a concerned nod.

Speaker 1 (01:15:05):
If only I had dynamite and sealed this guy
down here forever.
I see it written on my sheet.
It's crossed out, it's worthusing dynamite.

Speaker 2 (01:15:22):
So you guys are going to keep going.

Speaker 3 (01:15:26):
Yeah, i just don't see a way out of that one.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
I don't see a way out of it at the moment.
We have to keep going and takeour chances.

Speaker 2 (01:15:36):
Okay, PMibi says well , good luck on your quest.

Speaker 3 (01:15:51):
So you sure you don't want to join us.
We have a vacancy for a gnome.

Speaker 1 (01:15:58):
We did have a gnome, but wolves, you see.

Speaker 3 (01:16:01):
Yeah, jungle wolves.

Speaker 2 (01:16:03):
Jungle wolves.
I don't think wego and I wouldget along, you see.

Speaker 1 (01:16:12):
You're right.
It's true, we don't get alongwith him either.
We're trapped.
We're floating right behind you.
Like Galen said, we're thralls.
We've got to give this guy theslip.
Maybe the witch is the key.
Honestly, he did say the witchis more powerful than the
vampire.

Speaker 2 (01:16:39):
The gnome seems really concerned by the way you
guys are acting and yourhesitation.
You mean, like how we'rehesitant to leave him with the
vampire, or we're hesitant toHow you guys are like really
waffling on, like what you'regoing to do, yeah, and he pulls

(01:17:04):
out a little stick that was justat his side and he says run,
run.

Speaker 3 (01:17:16):
Can I Okay, i'm going to create a vulnerability in
the vampire, which is what Iwanted to do before.
I'm going to do discerning eyeonce per session create weakness
or vulnerability?
for narrative purposes, i'mgoing to say that he's not used
to drinking so much blood soquickly because it's been so
long that he's kind of sluggishand almost drunk off of it, and

(01:17:40):
the fact that it was a river,sore blood and he's never had
that before is kind of messingwith him.
It's really gamey, really fishy.
Yeah, it really tastes likeglam, you know.
All right, so let me try to dothat.

Speaker 1 (01:17:54):
Very oceanic, so 5 plus.

Speaker 3 (01:17:58):
Brain, brain, perception.
So 5 plus 1 is 6.
That's a 6.

Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
Okay, what do you think that means?
It's true, but what's the twist?

Speaker 1 (01:18:22):
He twist could be that he was famished or
something from before for beinga 6-1.

Speaker 3 (01:18:28):
And now he's.

Speaker 1 (01:18:31):
He's all jazzed up, but maybe, yeah, he's caffeine
jazzed.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:18:40):
It will be a twist.

Speaker 2 (01:18:43):
Because the thing is that he's Yeah, yeah, it's true
that he's sluggish, sluggish.

Speaker 3 (01:18:51):
But perhaps he's more powerful.

Speaker 1 (01:18:53):
Yeah, yeah, because he's been starving.
He's slow but super strong,Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:19:00):
I like that.
So the question is do we stayand help?
He may be.
He may be.

Speaker 2 (01:19:10):
He's telling you to run and now he's screaming Fire,
run.
There's like this, blinding,like.

Speaker 1 (01:19:21):
That's classic, that's some L Nerman,
fuddleraghetti.
Stitch Level power display.

Speaker 3 (01:19:28):
Ben, this is gonna sound crazy and I really hope it
doesn't get gale and kill, butI want to use a quest point to
use feet of strength again tolike rear full, like choke, hold
the vampire to hold them inplace, because I assume he's

(01:19:49):
like blinded briefly by thislight, like I want to just So I
mean, you set up that he's superstrong.
Yeah, I know this is also afeat of strength.

Speaker 1 (01:20:00):
This is wild.

Speaker 3 (01:20:03):
This is wild.

Speaker 1 (01:20:05):
If you pull this off, it's amazing if you don't.

Speaker 2 (01:20:11):
Party watch.
So what would you rather have,a minus two or disadvantage?

Speaker 3 (01:20:18):
I'd rather have a minus two.

Speaker 1 (01:20:21):
Yes, It is so.

Speaker 3 (01:20:29):
All right, let's do it.
That's a six and That's withthe minus two already, so I'm at
even six.
Okay, what does that mean?
so I pin him, but maybe, likein the struggle I assume that P

(01:20:50):
maybe is gonna stake him throughthe heart Maybe in the struggle
the heat pounds the stake toodeep and it also pierces me and
like, damages me and knocks meout.
I like it, it's worth it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:10):
Do it?
come on, i'm like screaming,like light and wind going.
It's like poltergeist.

Speaker 2 (01:21:27):
I think this is like Let me see.

Speaker 3 (01:21:34):
Glunch like back me up.

Speaker 2 (01:21:37):
I think it's just like an epic enough moment that
You may come out of this withlike an entry.

Speaker 3 (01:21:45):
Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah Yeah.
People are gonna ask how I gotthat scar and I'll tell on the
tail of the time I helped himknow.

Speaker 2 (01:22:00):
So hold on some.
I'm referencing rules thatdidn't make it into the book yet
.

Speaker 3 (01:22:05):
Oh, okay, like that, like injuries and penalties and
scars and stuff, yeah, So you'reknocked out.

Speaker 2 (01:22:22):
Like you, you will take Definitely enough damage to
Because you're like what?

Speaker 3 (01:22:31):
I was at six.

Speaker 2 (01:22:32):
Yeah, I mean sure, knocked to zero.

Speaker 1 (01:22:40):
Roll.

Speaker 2 (01:22:46):
D10.

Speaker 3 (01:22:50):
You want to do D12?
Thanks to it's head, i lose myhead.

Speaker 2 (01:23:06):
So you happy, the whole like blast, like The
crackle of magic and whatnot hasgiven you some hearing loss.
What hearing?
Oh, oh, classic.

Speaker 3 (01:23:28):
That's interesting.
hearing loss is interesting.
I assumed it would be thesomething else, but yeah, okay,
cool I mean there There wereeight other options, or nine
other options.

Speaker 1 (01:23:39):
George, i'm gonna make you one of those like
listening horns.
They do a huh.

Speaker 2 (01:23:45):
What was that?
So sometimes this might giveyou a disadvantage on certain
checks.
Okay, Like if you're trying tohear something yeah, no, no, no,
that's, that's perfect.

Speaker 3 (01:24:01):
I'll just put that under my perception.

Speaker 2 (01:24:04):
And obviously it's like a role-playing thing you
can.

Speaker 3 (01:24:08):
Like ham up, yeah, yeah.
When I retell the tale at thetime I helped kill a vampire
I'll say everything went Rindingwhite and I heard this
high-pitched tone and thennothing.
But I knew I had to grab him.

Speaker 2 (01:24:28):
Amazing Galen, when you wake up, your head is
ringing.
You see?
Uh, maybe wept it'll with Rileyand scrunch and zone and buck
and you guys are out in thequagmash somewhere.
Wow, it's night.

Speaker 1 (01:24:50):
I think we'll end it there today, that's this has
been an adventure as a Haunch ofriver sore meat cooking on a
fire.

Speaker 3 (01:24:59):
Yeah, we have rationed for weeks.

Speaker 2 (01:25:02):
Yeah, there's actually a giant carcass that's
been dragged out.

Speaker 3 (01:25:05):
Yeah, and I'll look up at Riley and I'll say did we
get him?

Speaker 1 (01:25:20):
I'll just be like holding his hand by the fire.

Speaker 3 (01:25:23):
I just knocked out That was epic.
It was really fun.

Speaker 2 (01:25:29):
Cool.

Speaker 3 (01:25:30):
I'm gonna do some XP.

Speaker 1 (01:25:32):
Yeah, let's do the XP , and then we can.

Speaker 2 (01:25:36):
Yeah, so there wasn't , there wasn't much to get out,
i mean to Right to get out ofthe maze.
This is what it looked like.

Speaker 3 (01:25:46):
Oh, nice Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:25:47):
No cool.

Speaker 1 (01:25:53):
You're on more turns turned into some serious threats
to our lives.

Speaker 3 (01:26:00):
Yeah, this the whole maze Look like this Oh, it's not
too bad, i mean the you Pass,you bypass like a lot of the
right side, basically right side.
Yeah, i'll scroll up and review.

(01:26:20):
Okay, that is Bigger than Ithought it was, because I had
zoomed in Nice.

Speaker 2 (01:26:30):
So you know, it's kind of interesting.
I don't know if it, i don'tknow if it was like super smooth
stream material, but I keeptrying things fun.

Speaker 1 (01:26:42):
Using using the random encounters in it.

Speaker 3 (01:26:45):
Yeah, cool.
Yeah, I haven't had a gooddungeon for a while.

Speaker 2 (01:26:51):
Cool, let's do some XP.

Speaker 3 (01:26:57):
Riley and I both used our ideals.

Speaker 1 (01:27:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:27:09):
All right, you haven't yet completed a quest or
objective.

Speaker 3 (01:27:14):
I mean dealt with a vampire.
I'm just saying No, I say,wasn't our objective, though the
witches very, very quicklybecame a.
But I agree, i agree.

Speaker 2 (01:27:28):
You solved the problem creatively.
you explored this Tunnel underthe quagmash.
Uh-huh, you encountered a newcreature.

Speaker 3 (01:27:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:27:38):
Several of them, yeah , significantly counter with an
NPC, we go Yep, it's probablyThe most.
so that's for XP.

Speaker 3 (01:27:53):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (01:27:56):
I think next time we should like Try to focus more on
The role-playing XP stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:28:07):
I feel like we've been skipping that well, i was
gonna say we can start next timeat at camp and then maybe do a
like an overnight camp.
They just pick up right wherewe left off.
Julia buyers one, and YouTubeasks when can I play?
I want to play it, oh.

Speaker 2 (01:28:20):
Yeah, you can.
Hey, julia, You can download itnow.
Actually, give you the chairthe link.

Speaker 1 (01:28:29):
Yeah, it's.
Yeah whole thing, the wholerule set and all the characters,
including Galen and Riley, theShrimp and little blog role guy
you can see in the bottom corner, are available too, and it's
all free.
It's all free.
It's got the sandbox which hasall this stuff that we were
adventuring in for the pastseven sessions is baked into the

(01:28:51):
sandbox.
Yeah, it's just one portion ofthe sandbox to.
We haven't released the wholemucklings, we've just the used
to be forest, but it's been.
It's been fun to go through it.
So there are like pre-generatedcharacters.

Speaker 2 (01:29:04):
There's an adventure in there and actually Here's
some inside information we've.
We're working on a couple otheradventures to include In the
beginning book, just because wewant, you know, a few different
types of adventures that peoplecan play like different tones.

Speaker 1 (01:29:30):
She asks when will it come out the the mucklings
sandbox?
the entire sandbox is gonnacome out sometime next year, but
there's a portion of it that'salready available for free.
That's got you know dozens anddozens of towns and quests and
characters and stuff, so tons ofcontent and All the rule books
free.

Speaker 2 (01:29:51):
Right now there's free.
Yeah, there's the link rightthere You can download for free
And it's honestly, it's a full,complete game.

Speaker 3 (01:30:01):
Yeah, it's good to go , It's just getting polished.

Speaker 1 (01:30:04):
Yeah, one thing I've been.
I didn't catch if you mentionedthis, but we do have a new
adventure We're gonna makeavailable and so you'll give an
email that when thedrive-through RPG files update
and you can download it and getit for free also.
And And what one thing wewanted to do is have three
different kinds of tones foradventure.

(01:30:25):
So there's high jinx tone,which is like fun and goofy.
Then there's high adventure,which is, like you know,
adventurous and you know Crazy,and then yeah, yeah, adventure.
Yeah, pick adventure, and thenthere's doom and gloom, which is
, like you know, a little bitdarker.

Speaker 2 (01:30:43):
The the world is threatened by something you know
Devastating and deadly, and soyou can have the spectrum with
land of union because it's a lotlike rickety stitch, or the
tone is, it goes from goofy toserious, goofy to serious,
however you want to and onething we realized when we put
out the beta was that theadventure that we wrote for it,

(01:31:03):
which is going to be part ofthis, like larger overarching
arching story, it's a little onthe doom and gloom side and we
didn't think that bestrepresented the game like as a
whole.
So This is one of things we'redoing, like James said, like
doing different tone adventuretones.

Speaker 1 (01:31:24):
Yeah, that'll be.
It available.
That new, the new adventure CanI say the name of it, the curse
of the chicken foot, which Sothat adventure will be, will be
available really soon and you inanybody that's downloaded it or
downloads the drive thrower Pg,will get a nice little email
notification.
That that's that it's available.

Speaker 2 (01:31:45):
Yeah, it's a little more light-hearted.
It's the Sarpathy adventure inthe beta right now.

Speaker 1 (01:31:50):
It's like.

Speaker 2 (01:31:53):
You're dealing with cultists, yeah, who are
threatening not to say.
It's like yeah, it's just youjust dealing.

Speaker 1 (01:32:00):
It's a different scope of bad guy.
You're dealing with a bad guythat's trying to try to take
over the Mucklins, and it's athreat to the world, whereas the
individual adventures might bea little more goofy or fun or,
you know, go from Dealing with agoofy character to going on a
pirate adventure, you know, onthe high seas.
So it's there's lots to do.

Speaker 2 (01:32:21):
So we were thinking like high Jinx is like Muppets,
like the Muppets, highadventures.
Like many heroes.

Speaker 1 (01:32:30):
Actually the way it's written down, ben, this is
hilarious.
The way it's written down isHigh Jinx is the Muppets, high
adventure is Labyrinth Wow, thendoom and gloom is the dark
crystal.
So there's all.
One Incorporates some Muppetyvibe.
That is there, but it's.
It's cool, it's fun.

Speaker 3 (01:32:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:32:53):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:32:55):
I'll brought to you by Jim Hansen thinking about
that right now.

Speaker 2 (01:32:57):
I feel like high Jinx could also be Labyrinth.

Speaker 1 (01:33:01):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (01:33:03):
That's true, and high adventures, like I Guess you're
only categorizing it by JimHansen productions, which?

Speaker 1 (01:33:12):
is often what we do.
I mean Based on a Jim Hansenproduction.

Speaker 2 (01:33:18):
When we're talking we're equating doom and gloom
with like sort of on the Conanside of things, like obviously
not as hardcore as Conan, butYeah, like well, i mean you got
serpent cult.

Speaker 1 (01:33:30):
That's like very Conan-y, right.
So that's specifically Conan-y,but, yeah, conan-y, conan-y.
But anyway, thank you everybodyfor joining us.
Special thanks to all of youpatrons on patreon.
We really appreciate all thesupport you give us and
including Julia, including Juliaand we We can't wait to join

(01:33:53):
you next week and have anotheryou know, hour, hour and a half
Land of Eme adventure.
Like George was saying, thisstarted out as a let's walk
through the rules.
Now It's a campaign, which isyeah, and so we'll be doing it
every Saturday and Stay tunedfor news about to Ricky stitch
book three.
We've got some more news aboutthat and some new projects that

(01:34:15):
are coming down the pipe And ifyou're a patron, you you've
actually seen some tricklings inof new series that we're
working on, that Related to theland of Eme and all that stuff.
So Can't wait to share more.
And thanks again, have a greatweekend everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:34:32):
Yeah, take care guys.

Speaker 1 (01:34:33):
Thanks everyone.

All Episodes

Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S01E07 | Gator Maze, Dancing Vampires, and Witchy Negotiations

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S01E07 | Gator Maze, Dancing Vampires, and Witchy Negotiations