November 22, 2023 • 81 mins
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Are you ready for an epic adventure filled with mysterious creatures, yodeling trolls, and an abandoned carnival packed with intact games and prizes—but eerily devoid of workers? Join Ben Costa and James Parks, creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures, alongside lead playtester and longtime friend George Higgins, as they unravel the mysteries of the Land of Eem TTRPG, published by Exalted Funeral.
In this electrifying episode, our mission takes us deep into the Helgroathe Mine, where we uncover a key leading to the hauntingly deserted carnival. But the adventure doesn’t stop there. The quest to prove Lord Orfong’s sabotage of the Azimuth Corporation pushes us toward a nerve-jangling decision: head to Wally’s Waffles & Weorgs or the SPL Headquarters?
Along the way, we cross paths with an outlandish troop of boggart musicians fleeing a werewolf, and the tension mounts as we strive to keep the beast at bay. As the stakes rise, we attempt a daring infiltration of a restricted office at SPL, using an arsenal of unusual tools to outwit our opponents. Every twist brings new challenges, suspense, and laughs in this Indie TTRPG Podcast.
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the vibrant TTRPG community, this adventure is brimming with intrigue, mystery, and gaming banter. Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE and join the journey today!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
you, you, you, you, you, you, hey everybody, hey hey
(03:38):
.
Happy new year.
Post turkey day moon fresherspost the gobble, gobble.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
We are here for our 16th session of the land of VM
RPG.
It's a 16 we've got Galen andRiley on board to continue their
adventure.
Just had our teens in the eracrazy adventures for the land of
VM.
Sandbox the muckling room thisis a game that you can download
(04:06):
right now.
Drive through RPG.
It's called land of VM RPG.
You know what I mean, and youhave all the tools to play, just
like we are right this momentmm-hmm so let's kind of rehash
what happened last time.
It's been two weeks, the firsttime we've missed a week.
(04:28):
But George failed us, I failedus.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I did have fun playing golden axe 2 and the
Dungeons and Dragons.
I can't remember the namearcade game Mistara.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Chronicles of Mistara what course of Mistara?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
that was a fun time, so here are your your quests at
the moment?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
the first one is to build a bridge for a Sven the
Yodeling troll.
It's been what you've beenworking towards since day one.
It's already underway.
But you have to go to Dunk inthe Drippy Downs to inform the
toll tellers of Sven's transferand give them all the paperwork.
You were asked to visit thelast tree in the used to be
(05:17):
forest.
Yeah, who asked you to do that?
Was it a?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
random encounter no.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I think it was was it Ikki Lundy?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
maybe, yeah, it was Ikki.
Dr Ikkabod Lundy wants us to gospeak with J Spinky Nabernutty
regarding the last tree in theused to be forest right and then
you had a sort of side quest,the last couple sessions, where
you went into hell, growth, mineand you met an old noggin.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Old noggin who worked in some way for azimuth
corporation back in the daybefore their whole business was
sabotaged by subterranean pitsand layers.
According to him, Lord Orphanyeah, you're trying to prove
(06:16):
that it was Lord Orphan.
You found some cufflinks, lordT Orphan.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yes, you found some cufflinks with T Orphan in them,
buried in the rubble of hell,growth mine, and that's where
you are that is where you areindeed, and I think we were
gonna and correct me if I'mwrong, sir Galen we were gonna
(06:43):
go to SPL to make a case thatthey screwed up big time with
this guy.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Some stuff we're gonna make a case where we're
gonna try to find more evidenceand then evidence yeah, we got
the first piece, which is thecufflinks.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
We were gonna resolve that at SPL and then maybe that
could actually impact the lasttree, but we don't know yet yeah
she could get a cease anddesist for all the last tree.
We can then cross overEttenhorn and we were gonna take
the river down to Dunk.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Yeah, we'll die in Ettenhorn.
I don't care which way you guyschoose to go, but I distinctly
remember you guys saying youwere going to the last tree
first.
Oh really.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Then back to SPL and I was like, oh yeah, and then,
ben, you suggested that thatmight be a little backwards well
, it's just more travel, becauseyou're doubling back yeah,
that's why the SPL current.
Spl plan kind of stands alright.
I think that'll do rank littlebit of a hold oh my gosh luch,
(07:57):
alright?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
um, it's a new day.
You're with old noggin, just uh.
Move yourself across the mapand you want to go.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Here's where it begins, george move yourself
here's where the travel rollsbegin.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I want to go here hahahaha, ah I want to avoid all
danger.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
You uh make roll a d12, see if you die yeah, um no,
let's.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I mean, can we cut?
Is the bridge done at the crackyet?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I don't think so.
This is a long term plan okayit was going well but it wasn't
done so I have
Speaker 2 (08:43):
to go around the crack, I take it.
So I have to go up one, so I'llroll a d12 with the realms yes,
you can actually move two,hexes two hexes, there we go,
hexasocies.
Uh, I mean, it's a seven, alittle bump, indeed bump, set
(09:11):
alone on a log, on a rollhahahaha, I uh, I take damage, I
take your eye you take toll wow, okay, you uh, can you help me
out with um finding what yourresult is?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
no you have to roll a six d6.
Hey, bernard, how you doinghello.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Bernard welcome luck charm yes, I feel positive about
this all yeah, everything'slooking up.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
So what is?
What is a?
Speaker 3 (09:56):
five result.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I'm still paging through the manual.
I'm sorry, the menu in.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I'm sorry, I should open it up.
I didn't even do that.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I will do that uh uh, bump in a row and roll a d65
unwanted attention there we go,here we go.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Okay, so what that means is, uh, when you guys camp
for the night, you'll have ahigher chance of encountering
something okay, bump in the row,all right.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
So, uh, that's our first leg.
James, you want to take us onour second leg?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
uh, sure, sure, let me roll a d12.
Um, hey, look at that.
What are you gonna do, uh a 12.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
That's gonna be a discovery roll roll a d100, no
d20, sorry, oops 11, my luckynumber you gain two keys um um,
(11:02):
you find an abandoned carnival,that's very creepy it's a little
creepy.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
All the games and prizes are intact, but there's
no sign at all of the carnivalworkers well, after taking a
teddy bear and stuffing it intomy knapsack, I started to look
around, for I love this this iscool um, no sign of the carnival
(11:29):
workers didn't we run into aband that was going somewhere?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
were they going to a carnival?
They were going to Croglandthey were going to Crogland, all
right, maybe they left.
This carnival and they had, youknow, consumed everyone's souls
um you never, know, likely,likely, what happened can we do
a search?
Checkman look around yeah yeah,uh, james, your search check
(11:56):
better than plus zero it is I'mplus one have at it.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I will search what a d12 for okay okay okay, okay
five, sorry, five five four um,you don't find anything that
would suggest what might havehappened here, but um, you do
(12:26):
find one of those, uh kind ofsledgehammers if you want it
make it a sledgehammersledgehammer that you use for
the, for like the bell where youhit the bell, the strong thing,
yeah, um yeah, let's grab it.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Are there rations we can obtain from here like old
carny food?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
just like funnel cakes.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
That's like a ton of funnel cake.
Not real food, but, um you know, sweets treats.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah well, it'll give us a sugar rush, but we're all
going to crash with headacheslater let's say it'll give you a
plus one.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
It's your uh keeling, but it's not going to be like
okay that's cool it's likecomfort food.
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
yeah, I do fried twinkies funnel cake.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I bet you they've battered in fried.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Nakedonki tube steaks .
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, they're sticking them.
Wow, scrock nest mountainoysters.
Yeah, scrocky mountain oysters.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Scrocky mountain oysters.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Come get them on a cold Cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah Cool.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
I think that's it here.
Okay, you can move your tokento Hexas.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Go for it, James.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
And then night falls and move this.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Oh, thank you.
I was clicking on the video.
I was like why doesn't he movehere?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Why doesn't it work, it's not working.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I don't understand James the Luddite.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
James the Luddite, I am he.
Who donna he?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Who donna?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
who?
Yeah, what do you guys do?
Old Noggin is he's.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Sorry, hit the wrong button.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Old Noggin.
So I'll say hey, old Noggin,like what kind of evidence do
you think we'd find at SPL thatwould support your claim that
Lord R Fong's sabotaged theAzimuth Company?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I don't know.
You know, maybe they have oldfiles somewhere.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yeah, it's old files, a paper trail.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Files of sabotage.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
They're very meticulous.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I do, I hope, to find a way to get access to the
store room or something?
Speaker 3 (15:26):
I'm sure it's buried deep somewhere in a vault.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
A vault, classic vault.
I remember when I applied for ajob at SPL, they made me fill
out 72 forms in quadruplicate.
It was miserable.
They're highly meticulousorganization.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Tons of bureaucratic paperwork, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
It's gotten ridiculous.
You know, back in my day weused to put on a hard hat, go
down in the mine, Don't need topaperwork.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
That's it.
That's all you had to do Allright.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Do you guys want to ask each other any pointed
questions?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Oh it's true.
I've done that for a long time.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I'm trying to think of any pointed burning questions
I have for Riley.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Funnel cake.
I hand him one.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I think it's just one of those nights and I crunch
into the funnel cake and I putmy hands behind my head and I
lean back and I say good night.
Riley.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Good night Katelyn, good night Noggin, good night
Zona.
What Good night Johnboy.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Guys are playing the game the way it's supposed to be
played, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Fast blues, fast blues.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Hey, why do I help you out here?
Read the text under making camp.
Adventures don't just sit aroundin silence and then hit the
sack.
They tend to tell stories toeach other and ask each other
questions.
Each time the party makes camp,one character may ask another
character campfire question.
The goal should be to askevocative questions that elicit
(17:20):
revealing answers, givinginsight into the character's
personality, backstory,relationships and personal quest
.
If need be, the asking playercan ask related follow up
questions to draw out somethingjuicy.
This is a great time forcharacters to build on their
relationships and gain XP.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I say I turned to Riley, as my eyes are closing,
and I say hey, riley, rememberhow I just said that I applied
to SPL for a job?
I remember you getting prettymad at me for doing that.
I never figured out why.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Well, I mean, our village had just been destroyed.
We were kind of amped up onfinding the people responsible
for it, and then you had thiswild hair to go join SPL, and I
just didn't approve of it.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
I just wanted to be a part of something again.
I mean, I feel like I felt likewe lost our whole village.
I feel like, you know, we hadnothing left.
Spl was kind of an opportunityfor a new future.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
You are part of something, though You're part of
this man like us out here doingheroic work.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I turned down my speakers accidentally.
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
You are a part of something dude.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, you're part of this.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I'm the worst.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
That's fine.
You are a part of something.
We're adventurers.
We're trying to bring justiceto the Mucklins.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
No, I mean, yeah, now we are.
But back then I just rememberfeeling so lost.
It was just such a terribletime.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
I can relate to that.
Sometimes I feel lost.
I mean, here we are with thisguy who's more lost than anyone
we've ever met.
Final cake, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Suck on this old man.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Sometimes I feel like we've lost our way ourselves.
I've talked to you about that.
I kind of losing the thread ofwhy we're going out here in the
first place.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
But you know, if you hadn't stopped me from joining
SPL, I mean I would have beenpart of an organization that
just underhandedly destroystheir competition.
I mean I would have been partand parcel to what happened to
Noggin.
That's pretty terrible.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I know it is pretty terrible.
Plus, no dental, no dental.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm going to look at this guy's teeth.
Oh no, but he's asthma, so Iguess they had bad dental too.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah, and he's been eating sand for 30 years.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
He spits out a mouthful of sand.
What I said?
That's not okay.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Funnel cake's in his other hand.
He's just like shuffling sandin his mouth.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Very earthy.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Earthy.
Yeah, Zoninbac is like.
Yes, the sand is very earthy.
It is delicious.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
He's like mycelium is like sifting into the ground.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yeah, I have found my Nutritious yes.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
As you guys are talking, you hear something
creeping.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Oh, georgie, sorry we hear something creeping,
creeping in the darkness.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yes, Take out the sledgehammer.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah, I take out a funnel cake.
I guess we peer into thedarkness and see if we can
perceive them.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
You glimpse in the moonlight like a big hulking
beast.
No, it looks like it's walkingupright, though.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I'll say who goes there.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
You hear a snarl and then in the firelight you see
like a giant mouth, grotesqueface, like on the chest of a
hairy humanoid.
It's like and it says where,when am I?
(21:43):
Well you're here now, you're atour camp.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
You're just a few miles north of the crack.
We're camping out here.
You're welcome to join us.
I say with terror in my voice.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It kind of peers around its eyes, darting madly,
and it grabs for a zona in buck.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Food?
No, I like freaking.
Smash them on the nose with thehammer.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Okay, we're entering conflict.
I guess here you know what Imean that means it's like more
like a don't eat.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
That I don't mean to.
I'm not like swinging for thefences, but it is a conflict.
I accept that.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I'm going to make a worldwide check to, once per
session, make up a fact about aculture, a faction or a group of
people.
Okay, and I'm going to.
When I'm going to say that theBlemies don't like food that can
talk to them.
So when zona inbox says, oh no,stop, don't hit me, it freaks
(22:58):
out and recoils.
I was very surprised by this.
Let's see if this works.
That's a 14.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Oh wow, Nice.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Okay, it drops zona inbox and pounces for the funnel
cakes and like all the goodies,like all the goodies that
you've gotten.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Totally fine.
I say yes, yes, that is food.
He is not food.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
He is friend.
Where is my home?
Are you lost?
Speaker 1 (23:40):
I don't exactly know.
Maybe we could help you find it.
Are you from around here?
How long have you beenwandering?
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Four days Four.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Wow, four years, it's a long time.
Four days, so you it's likefour days travel maybe from how
far away he is, unless he's beengoing in circles.
Yeah, what does your home looklike?
Dark, dark, like a cave maybe.
(24:16):
Yeah, like a cave Got it.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Do you remember any kind of yodeling?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
near your home.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Did you hear any yodeling?
Stop what I imitate as ayodeling.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Yodeling.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Does that sound familiar?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Do you?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
hear any of that, because maybe he's from the
crack.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, he seems to hate the yodeling.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
He's like pulling at his hair.
No, no stop.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Sorry, chief.
So he's from a cave.
He's been wandering for fourdays and he's lost.
Let me see.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Let me check my pallies.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
What's?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
the range of Sven's yodeling, like how many hexes
can you find?
Two, two hexes, we can rule outthe crack, I feel.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah, it's probably one hex.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
He's a powerful yodeler.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
A hex is six miles.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Can I use I for clues and create a clue?
I hope I make this, but he'sgot some red and brown clay all
over his feet and bottom of hislegs and if we look carefully
enough we can see that the clayis like he's been stamping these
(25:38):
footprints and we can follow tosee the direction that he came
from and maybe find his cave.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Sure, all right, it's all for nothing if I fail.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Six Six.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Seven.
Success with a twist.
Seven plus one.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I got closed by windows.
There's a smoke outside.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Hold on.
Yeah, yeah, that is true.
He has left footprints that youcan see like just walking like
several yards away from the campseem like it leads out
(26:27):
somewhere.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Why don't we bed down for the night and then, when
morning comes, we can moreeasily take you home?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
You can camp here, have more food.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Sleep.
You can sleep here.
Don't eat the mushroom guy.
Oh, we'll take you home in themorning when we can see.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Okay, he gets down like directly on the fire and
stamps it up.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Well, good night everybody, yeah Goes back to the
hole.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Good night, riley.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Riley freezes to death in the night, and it's he
runs over on her and smothersher.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
She's warm, but you each wake up in the middle of
the night and like he's justsplayed out, like yeah, I have
an arm on my chest.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
His ability to just like sit down in the fire and
like not feel any pain makes mehappy that we didn't engage.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah, just a little bit.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
It's like we would have had no shot Um you know?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
all right, you can down vampires.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
It's fine.
That's true.
That's true with health.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Ourselves in the middle of the night old noggin
whispers to you.
Galen says we should probablyoff him right now.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
I Say, think of all the meat.
I Say, oh noggin, what's that?
And I point and I say oh, okay,all right, good night, old
noggin what they're all over andgo back to sleep.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
All right, you wake up and he's like huddled, he's
like laying on your chest, old,noggin, old noggin.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
It's the toothy or toothless, drooly mouth on my
like shoulders suckling.
It's kind of like a suck markson my frog shoulder.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Yeah, he's holding a knife.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Hmm.
But morning comes where did youget that?
There were no murders.
But but out of the blimey issticking a knife.
It just did nothing.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
He did it himself to.
He just nicked himself shavingyeah right into his head.
Um, all right.
Well then, I guess we shouldtake the blimey to the cave like
let's which cave?
Are you gonna follow the tracks?
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I bet it's the moldy cave.
But yeah, let's follow thetracks, let's track.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
I can use search.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Search it up.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
For.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Oh, okay, maybe I can tell my faithful steed to sniff
out the trail, because that's athing turtles do.
Let's see if that.
Well, now go ahead.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Well, let's, let's resolve this role first.
You know what I mean?
I don't, because that'sgenerally how the game works.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Generally very tactful way to say George yeah,
sit your butt down.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Nope, nope, nope, no it's.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
It's a design choice, you know, like so.
So players don't go.
I failed.
Now, now I do something.
It's like alright, let's get toanother end state.
So it's a failure with with aplus.
So let's try to think aboutwhat that means.
Well, as you guys are Followingthese tracks, you kind of lose.
(30:45):
You lose them in the wilderness, okay, but what?
Do you have any ideas what theplus could be?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
We find a wandering herd of blemish.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I was about to say we find some other place that
Blemie likes, but that seemslike a too far of a resolution.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
I think mine is probably too far as well, but I
love the idea of like a herd ofdinosaurs.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Oh, we find, we find, like a patch of the mushrooms
that he does like to eat, oh,yeah, the non sentient variety
to prevent him from becomingangry that we haven't got home.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Nice, okay, he, um, he stops, like just devours them
all.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, you know, you want some.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Zoni and Buck looks at him distastefully.
He eats my cousins.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I'll say no, I just ate, although I'm feeling ill
from the funnel cake.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
I you know what.
I have some Hope.
We haven't had enoughexcitement.
Make a vitality check oh yeah,here we go.
Let's see how vital I only haveone in vitality.
I really thought I had more.
It doesn't matter as an eightwith a quest point, that's a
(32:15):
nine, I'm vital.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
You want to use a quest point.
Oh, by the way, what's yourcourage, both of you.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
What's your courage?
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Unlimited.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I had the power.
I had ten out of sixteen.
I.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Don't know see, both could have healed.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Well, with a funnel takes.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Technically, I could have you guys not have rations
or not only the funnel cake.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
No, I had two rations .
We purchased some in the marshgate before we left.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I don't it's.
I don't have any written on mysheet.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
So yeah, anyway yeah yeah, take care of that.
You know we use a ration orwhatever.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
We roll a d6 because I would have eaten a ration to
cool that been.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I'm gonna take care of thatbusiness.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
That's a five.
I I sneak.
I ate the ration before theBlemie showed up so he didn't
consume the rest of it.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Well, this mushroom gives you one temporary courage.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Nice.
So I'm now.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Also make a realms check for this leg of the
journey.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I can make it.
It's a 10 Cool.
I Ask Zona in Bac if he cantell us anything about these
mushrooms as we journey.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yes, as you bit into them, they released their spores
and I Lived their life.
Zone as a simple life, butbeautiful, uncomprehensible to,
(34:33):
yeah, you too, I suppose, justexperiencing in living daily In
this used to be forest, the soilof cracked earth, watching the
Sun Rise and set.
I.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Start balling.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
We're murderers as I eat my neck.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Riley is just balling this is the baddest thing she's
ever heard.
It's like poetry.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yeah, ben, as far as movement, would this have
brought us farther away from ourdestination?
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Yeah, the tracks were leading you north maybe like
this way almost yeah, okay, butyou've lost sight of them at
this point.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Okay, so close to wallies, get some waffles.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
I know, I was just thinking like maybe we could
take the Blemme to wallies andsee if anybody knows if there's
a Blemme that lives nearbyanybody looking for a Blemme?
Speaker 2 (35:47):
It's true.
Okay, so that's our first legday.
Should we take the Blemme toSPL or should we keep head north
?
Speaker 1 (36:00):
I was just considering that.
I wonder if SPL, like, wouldknow the location of like the
blemme's they deal with likemonsters and creatures and
critters all the time you know.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I feel like they murder monsters and creatures
and critters all the time.
We can get him a job there.
Yes, lots of forms.
He can be an enforcer.
He'll be the final boss, orhear me out on this.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
This is crazy, but or we all get to become a gigantic
distraction.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Also good, we're gonna walk in and be like that
guy has mushrooms, get him.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
I think you might be onto something here.
You know SPL is probably ahighly guarded traps and
taskmasters.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
He's only on the hook down and he looks up and he
says it is not and he keepswriting yeah All right?
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Well, let's go to SPL .
Let's just take the Blemiealong and found a new cave for
him or something I don't know.
Just yeah, the Blemie could beutilized.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Okay, then we should.
Yeah, let's head east to SPL HQ, if you want to roll it up.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
I will roll a, roll a four, sorry Four.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
It's all good.
I scroll back to that part ofthe book Travel checks for is a
dangerous encounter.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Oh boy, that is true.
Roll a D 100.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
79.
I wonder if it's going to beanother Blemie and if they'll
get along they immediately forma family.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
This is hilarious.
It's the troop of Bogartmusicians that's amazing, that's
fantastic.
They're on their way back fromCrogland.
You know they're heading toWallies.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
That's so great, it's so amazing.
What are the chances?
100.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
But this time they're looking super frantic.
They see you in the distanceand are running towards you.
Some of them are missing theirinstruments.
They're like help help.
(38:57):
When they get up to you,they're panting.
There's a werewolf.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
There's a werewolf when Crogland.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
It's Jesus.
It ravaged the whole place.
Oh my God, Our set was justdestroyed.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
You think that's what ?
No, no, what was it?
A slime that got the other guyright.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
I don't know what you're talking about.
There's a werewolf, we got toget out of here.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Should we go to Wallies?
This guy's S-S is too far.
Let's go to SPL Gray.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Wolf and Blemie.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Oh yeah, we're headed to SPL.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
I say, you guys could probably hide in this corporate
headquarters.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
It's like going to the foyer, slam the door and
start barring it.
One of the musicians is like noman.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I'm never working for the man, dude, I'm not
corporate.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
You're not working for them, you're taking
advantage of them.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yeah we're being chased by a werewolf.
I refuse to set foot in thatestablishment.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
We all go in, whether or not.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
The werewolf snatches him off the ground.
We just keep running.
Oh see you, some man.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
It's like a Stephen King film.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
I think we should totally run for the SPL and get
inside.
Yeah, I'm on board with that.
A freaking werewolf.
That's horrifying.
Do we see it in the?
Speaker 2 (40:28):
distance.
Is it like in Monty Python, theHoly Grail, when Lancelot keeps
running towards the cat phone,he's just suddenly there?
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Yeah, that's what's happening.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
The two guards at SPL .
Let us into the foyer andthey're just standing there
eating an apple.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
Yeah, make athletics checks.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Oh, shoot, Nice.
I mean that's going to be aneight.
I think.
Hold on, I've got to get mycharacter sheet.
Oh, it's a nine.
I'm a great athlete.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Okay 11.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I think that makes it .
That means you all sprint tothe door.
The werewolf is still a ways inthe distance, but this door is
locked.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
I'm going to start moving furniture in the waiting
area in front of the doorfrantically, without even saying
anything to the person at thefront desk.
Speaker 3 (41:39):
Yeah, what I mean is the front door of SPL is locked.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Oh man.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
I'm going to start pounding on it.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Are they?
Closed for the weekend orsomething.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
This is like an entrance that's.
You know it's not like abusiness that people freely go
through in and out.
A slot in the door opens up andyou see like B little eyes peer
through and says what is it?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
You got to let us in.
There's something chasing us.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
Why should I care?
Deal with it we?
Speaker 2 (42:16):
have money.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
I say do you know?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
who I am.
I say do you know who I am?
We have money.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
We got a lot of money .
You got a lot of money.
We'll give you some.
How much?
Speaker 2 (42:33):
We got two silver packs man.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Is that what we have?
That's what we have.
We've got one silver pouch, man.
Look, take the silver pouch tolet us in, or the Blemie is
going to open the door.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Fine, he opens the door.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
I'll like shoe everybody in.
Like get inside.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
The werewolf is darting closer.
Probably you know 30 feet awayby the time.
You all are shuffling inside asthe door slam shut.
Galen, make a might check tokeep it closed.
(43:25):
You're with the Blemie and theSPL guy and you're trying to
shove the door closed.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
I'm going to use pep talk, my new power, pep talk
Goal and inspire twice persession on a six plus.
Choose one of the following andI'm going to make him roll
advantage on this Nice, I'mgoing to say, galen, you can do
this Feet to strength.
Buddy, she's going to hold thatdoor.
I know you can do it.
River ball champion, let's makeit happen.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
As a nine gives me an advantage, so it's going to be
an 11.
At first, galen keeps lookingat his feet, wondering why
you're calling them feet ofstrength, and then he wraps his
head around the concept of whatyou're talking about and he puts
his back into the door.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
The most jock moment Galen has ever had.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
While you slam it shut and hold it, as this
ravenous werewolf just likeclaws and pushes on the door,
the SPL employee manages to lockit and noise.
He's like oh, that's a werewolf.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Yeah, yeah, that's what we said.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yeah, chief Freaking werewolf.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Oh this, this door is pretty sturdy, won't get
through.
It's good to know.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
I'm Riley, by the way , this is Galen.
Yeah, hand over the cash.
I'll go through my pockets andhand over the cash.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
All right, so pay for some Nakedonki tube stakes and
latest issue of Dungeon inMagazine.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Excellent, excellent.
So anyway, catch you later andjust start walking like down the
stairs.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
Where are?
Speaker 1 (45:26):
you going?
Oh, you know, we didn't intendto come through this entrance,
but we actually have anappointment with a front desk,
oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:37):
What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (45:39):
We got a business transaction we're going to
conduct Apparently.
You're looking for some reallygreat adventures and we're the
guys.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
Make a trickery check .
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Put that hat on man.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
All right 13.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
At this point, Riley's just walking around with
a crazy helmet on.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
I roll a 13.
Speaker 3 (46:10):
Oh yeah, I heard about that.
Yeah, the adventure is wouldn'twant to be you guys.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
Oh go right this way, right this way, my own lie has
me second-handing it.
Now I'm just like, oh really.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
That's what we do.
What do we do Huh?
Speaker 3 (46:35):
Are you talking to him?
Speaker 2 (46:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Well, you know, the job you're hired for is like
pretty serious.
Yeah oh yeah.
That goes without saying.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
You know what I mean no, but we like when people say
it, that's actually a lot ofcash.
Well, you know saying it makesit true, I I've.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
Spit it out man Been been hearing a lot of noises
from the sewers lately, you knowoh, below SPL.
Yeah, yeah, you know where allthe turds go.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
Yeah, all the turds.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Oh, but one, you know , I mean I.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Yeah, or could be.
You know, I heard a wyvern gotloose Wyvern bubble goose.
Yeah, or or you could be hiredto reset all the floor traps,
you know that's my leastfavorite of the bunch.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
Well, we'll, we'll see ourselves out.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
Thank you, sir.
Yeah, you want to go to thefront desk.
You'll talk to Frown a D Browna thing.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
Okay, got it.
I Lean over to Galen.
It's like I don't know that.
I have any intention to go tothe front desk now that we're in
.
We should find the storehouse,see if we can find some of that.
Some of the paperwork go to theold file cabinets, shuffle
through them, I mean.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
I mean Galen shrugs.
He's fine with whatever.
I have a feeling we're gonnaend up at the front desk
regardless.
Speaker 3 (48:22):
Well, if you want to like, scoot by the front desk.
I'll have to make a sneak check.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
And we still have the musicians with us.
That's how that works.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Well, I don't know, do you want to ditch them?
Speaker 2 (48:37):
I say, okay, you guys are safe now, right, I mean,
give me a hand for this.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Ah, what are we supposed to do, even us?
Speaker 1 (48:49):
All right, come on, I'll start passing that little
paper cups a cucumber water tothem from the from the foyer.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Thanks amazing.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
All right, how do you want to do this, galen?
Do you want to try to sneakpast the front desk?
Maybe cause a distraction?
Speaker 3 (49:12):
with this group.
Yeah, I'm the cause ofdistraction.
They're gonna.
I figured you'll havedisadvantage.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
I think that they should be the distraction.
I'll say all right, guys, wesaved you.
Can you do us a favor and justPlace some percussion on this,
these trash cans and stuff?
I know you don't have yourinstruments, but you know.
Well, I still have myinstrument it's got to go to.
(49:40):
But yeah, well, I mean the restof you guys, we just need help
causing distraction.
I mean it's quid pro quo, right?
Speaker 3 (49:51):
Yeah, yeah, you know you've helped us out twice, so I
mean it's the least we could do.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
I'll introduce them to the Blemme and Say not food,
not food.
Speaker 3 (50:07):
This is not food, not food.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Not a bad name, for I'll say like not food, not food
.
To the to the, oh and I'll, andI say you stay here for a
second, we'll be right back andthen I'll lean over to the, to
the band and say like anythingbut yodeling, and he'll be cool
(50:38):
one of the guys looks real sad.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
Oh, I'll put my hand on shoulder, yeah sorry, chief
oh.
That's fine I.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Got a triangle.
Okay, yeah, he'll take that theBlemme's like triangle.
All right, so attempt to.
Let's get them going, see if Ican create any more chaos.
Speaker 3 (51:10):
All right, well, having them musicians Will give
you advantage both of yourchecks to get out of this area
okay.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
All right.
Oh man, I need the advantage.
I'm minus one sneak, oh.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
My gosh, my armor is you're not gonna help me in this
case eight, does it just cancelit out?
It does.
Thankfully it just canceledthat my sneaky sneak.
Oh, that's an eight do blade.
(51:52):
I mean I would use a questpoint.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
So I don't I I'm gonna do that.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
I, I'm gonna do that.
Old noggin remains with you.
He, you guys Get past the lobbyand now you're like Into the
winding halls of subterraneanpits and layers.
You do pass some people butthey're not really paying
(52:26):
attention to you.
See, like people with likehelmets, like Riley carrying
briefcases and People drinkingcoffee, is that there's a male
carrier just like dropping offmale, like memos and stuff
people's offices.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
It's all very organized.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
But at the same time a dungeon.
It's like a damp, dank dungeon.
Now you have three ways to goand you guys have no idea when
anything is that?
There's like a branchinghallway.
You go straight, left or right.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Let's go straight.
Okay, let's just try it.
Yeah, if we can be clever,Maybe we can get it out at
somewhere.
Out them clever girl.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (53:25):
All right, I'm gonna have you Make a check, not a
sneak check, but a search check.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
Ten nice.
Speaker 3 (53:46):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
Just hear the tuba.
People are like moving to thebe a little bit and then like
water cooler, talk now like.
Taskmaster kicks open a door,he's like get back to work and
stop listening to that music.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
Who's playing the tune?
Speaker 3 (54:13):
You start seeing Like offices, signs, and and the.
The titles of the people keepgetting more impressive as you
go deeper and deeper.
Speaker 2 (54:31):
Head beheader.
Speaker 3 (54:34):
Yeah, head beheader, head torture Smith.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
Yeah, if we can check out the files of, like,
whoever's in charge, maybe wecan.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
Head honcho, head of honchos.
Speaker 3 (54:54):
You get to a door hover that says restricted
access.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
I mean this must be it Okay um, let's see, Can I
tinker this door?
Speaker 2 (55:10):
tinker tell us old guy, I Will.
Inspiring order.
You really gotta get the dooropen.
Come on, rally.
It's not very inspiring,especially since I just told you
to just get the door open.
(55:31):
There's nothing inspiring aboutwhat I said.
Just do it, come on.
Speaker 1 (55:34):
What are you doing?
I'm trying to like pick thelock.
Can I try to like take thehinges off the door?
No, like take the whole dooroff the wall with.
Speaker 3 (55:46):
It's a pretty massive door Okay.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
Let's see, do I have anything that's helpful?
Thanks, bernard.
Speaker 3 (55:57):
Bernard is bestowing his good luck upon you.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
Oh all right, here we go.
Here we go, maybe I can, maybeI can saw, like, is it made of
wood or iron or what's?
How's it?
Yeah, it's an iron door.
Oh crap, it's an iron door.
Speaker 2 (56:17):
Um, oh, how about this Disturbing?
I'm gonna make a perceptioncheck to create a weakness
within the door for narrativepurposes.
So there's a really big rustspot by the hinges where water
has been dripping.
Speaker 3 (56:36):
Do you not have lockpicks?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
this is the problem.
I don't have lockpicks oranything that looked like that.
I'm trying to find a way totinker through.
Speaker 2 (56:44):
Well, I mean I.
What I said is true.
There is rust rampant in thedoor.
Speaker 1 (56:53):
Bernard, you might need it, you're right.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
Um, I mean you could use with this weakness like
makeshift lockpicks or whatever.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
Well, if it's, if it's like a rusty, if it's like
a routing, I could use thesledgehammer to like see if I
can't punch a hole through it.
Okay, and then like, maybetinker to like create a device
to go up and there and unlock it.
Speaker 2 (57:21):
Cool because, I've got some.
Speaker 1 (57:22):
I've got some junk and stuff.
Speaker 2 (57:24):
I've got like some tools and yeah, I got some junk
in that trunk you know.
Speaker 1 (57:30):
Right.
So Georgie, what's?
What do I do?
Speaker 2 (57:34):
No, no, I.
I mean, I made the rust existand Then noodle Existed.
The noodle exists and life wasgood.
I don't know what.
What are you gonna do?
I've done what I need to do.
Speaker 1 (57:47):
I'm gonna look around See if anybody's coming, and
then sledgehammer the red spot.
Speaker 3 (57:55):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Do it in time to the tube of music make a tinker
check at disadvantage, okay.
Eight Nice want to keep youthat yeah, I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (58:17):
Yeah, actually nine.
Speaker 2 (58:20):
What am I?
Speaker 1 (58:20):
thinking.
Speaker 3 (58:23):
You're able to do it.
You go like clang into the door.
There is a noticeable noise.
Speaker 1 (58:32):
As soon as I clang into it, I'm gonna throw the
sledgehammer through, so itlooks like I don't have anything
in my hands.
Speaker 3 (58:37):
Yeah and the door just like Slowly jars open.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
Oh, like shout, like if you get it fix this door this
door is a mess really loud andthen sneak inside.
Speaker 2 (58:54):
That's teamwork, baby .
Speaker 3 (58:57):
So on the other side, Seem more offices and people
Want a Guy who looks like ataskmaster.
Here's the noise he says whatthe hell's going on?
Speaker 1 (59:16):
Rans, somebody's playing the tube out in the
foyer.
It's carrying throughout thewhole place.
Speaker 3 (59:21):
No, I'm talking about you.
Just What'd you do?
Speaker 1 (59:24):
the door, oh the door's got to be repaired.
See this rough spot busted whoare you maintenance crew?
Speaker 3 (59:35):
Where's your uniform?
Speaker 1 (59:38):
It's undergoing maintenance, is it not?
Speaker 2 (59:44):
There may be our uniforms back in maintenance HQ.
Speaker 3 (59:50):
Make it make a trickery check.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
I mean it was pretty good though it's got to be an
event.
Right, it's probably me, cuz IMean that's not bad.
It's not bad.
Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
Never heard that one before all right, whatever, just
keep it down.
Okay, no problem, We've got abig meeting going on in the
conference room.
Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
Oh, what are you?
Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
guys meeting about.
What's it to you?
No, I'm sculling him.
Waps you in the head, ah.
Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
Ah yeah, what are you asking questions like that?
Everybody's in the conferenceroom right now.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Riley Waps me in the head next.
Ah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
I guess now would be a good time to go through the
offices and fix any of the ductswhile they're all in that
meeting, right?
Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
Like I said, as long as you don't make any noise.
Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
Hey, no problem, no problem.
Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
We're gonna go rummaging through all the
executive offices.
Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 3 (01:00:59):
I don't, I don't got time for this.
Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
We don't got time for this.
Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
He goes walking off.
Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
See you at the softball game, then I run around
.
Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
Softball.
Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
Amazing.
This is perfect.
Let's dig around.
Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
Yeah, let's actually go through all the offices while
they're in the big meeting Seeif we can't find any of it.
Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
Okay, whose office?
There's Lord Orphang, there'sMadame Moe Wysinski, there's
Vice Punisher Destina Brink andthere's Kurg Nori, overseer of
Goblinoid Resources.
Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
I mean the GR guy, goblinoid Resources guy.
You don't think we should gothrough Lord Orphang's office?
We have his couplings.
I think we should.
Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
No, we got everything we need.
No, of course, lord Orphanglikes to do it.
Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Let's go into Lord Orphang's office.
Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
Alright, the other offices are not noticeably
locked.
They may be, but this one ispadlocked several times.
Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
You said there were ducts, though.
Right, maybe we can go throughthe ducts into this office.
Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
From another office we could see if maybe GR has the
key.
Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Yeah, they got keys to everything.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I havean ability that might make that
true.
Hold on, yeah, I'm going to usea quest point to redo a
worldwide check to make up afact about the culture of
Goblinoid Resources personnel.
(01:03:06):
They absolutely need to be ableto get into everything to do
their job right, and they willstop at nothing to obtain keys
in duplicate and triplicate justin case they lose their first
set of keys.
Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
I think you just love saying duplicate, triplicate
quadruplicate.
Yes quintuplicate.
Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
I want to see how far you go with that.
Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
I used my last quest point to bump that to a nine,
and then that's it.
Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
Alright, it's true, it's all true.
Oh, I'll fit.
Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Let's get some duplicate keys, triplicate keys.
Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
We should hold on these keys forever.
Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
Yeah, you never know what they're going to.
Unlock the Royal Order ofGoblinoid Resources Resource.
Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Goblinoid Resource 3.
Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
How is that a thing?
This is amazing.
I want that to be canon.
Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
Goblinoid Resource 3 is amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
I'm a Goblinoid Resource 3 by trade.
Speaker 3 (01:04:20):
I think we've come upon something amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
This is going to be the offshoot novella series that
I do in Lannabeam.
Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
All canon.
Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
We go into the GR office and rustle around for
keys.
Speaker 3 (01:04:39):
I'm going to make a search check.
Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
Riley, you're up.
I said Riley, Riley, riley,remember that time that you were
searching for food in my mom'shouse before it got burned down
and they all got killed?
You were just quiet as a mouse,but, man, you got like every
single piece of cheese out ofthat cupboard.
I did.
I ate a lot of cheese.
Yeah, do that again, but withkeys.
I inspire.
It works.
(01:05:02):
It's a nine, alright 10.
Nice.
Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
I do find the key, but I also am eating a hug of
cheese when I come back.
You want some?
Speaker 3 (01:05:16):
Yeah, yeah yeah At Kirk Norie's lunch bag.
Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
Kirk Norie's lunch bag.
Oh, the land of Eam.
Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
Yeah, you find three keys, Three different keys.
They're not triplicate, butthey open.
They're marked with Orphan.
Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
Oh, let's do it yeah let's do it While they're all in
that meeting.
Speaker 3 (01:05:47):
Yeah, alright, you open the doors, we do it.
The room is dark, it's darkinside.
It looks like there's cobwebs.
Speaker 2 (01:06:07):
It's a little dusty, very dusty, but it's definitely
a great functioning room.
Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
Right.
Speaker 3 (01:06:25):
Pulse the immediate desk and around it, but like the
walls and all the shelves arelike dusty Interesting.
There's cobwebs in the ceiling.
You also notice there's somelike waste in the garbage can,
(01:06:55):
like excrement.
There's actually a cell room.
There's like crumpled up piecesof paper and like an old
sandwich, like half eaten.
It doesn't look ancient, it'slike you know it's still good.
Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
While Gailen is eating the sandwich, I'll like
unwrap some of the papers andthey waste back to it and read
it and see if there's any cluesto what's going on.
Speaker 2 (01:07:21):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (01:07:24):
There's nothing.
It's like it looks like thedrawings of an adolescent.
What Like really?
Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
bad drawing.
It was once the wrapper for thesandwich and it's been doodled
up.
Speaker 3 (01:07:38):
Yeah, it's like a bunch of doodles.
There's like like SPL memos andjust like doodles all over the
margins.
Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
What the heck Can I go over to the dusty shelves and
find a book that's like aledger or anything like that?
Would you know?
Speaker 3 (01:07:54):
Well, yeah, there's actually just a wall, a giant
wall of file cabinets, behindthe desk.
Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
All right, I'm going to go to A for azimuth.
Speaker 3 (01:08:06):
Okay, make another search, check.
All right, here we go.
Oh, three, you do not.
You search through this filecabinet.
(01:08:30):
You actually do find azimuth,which is the plus, but there's
like so much information thatyou're just not able to pluck it
out quickly All right, I'll setaside everything on azimuth and
put it on the desk.
It's like a giant mound Likehuge yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:08:53):
I'll never be able to go through this to find any
evidence Like we got to findsomething else.
Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
I put it all in the Lucky Knappsack.
Speaker 3 (01:09:00):
Nice You'll need like four Lucky Knappsacks.
Speaker 2 (01:09:07):
Can you look around for like a safe or anything like
that?
Speaker 3 (01:09:13):
Sure, I do it.
Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Do you want me to make a search check?
Speaker 3 (01:09:19):
Yeah, it's a six.
You find a safe, but it'slocked.
Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
I pull out the cuff links and I use them to unlock
the safe.
I don't have any creativeskills left.
This is just me beingridiculous.
Speaker 1 (01:10:01):
I'm going to use a quest point and use eye for
clues and look on the walls,like behind the painting, to see
if there's like a secretcompartment.
Okay, come on Nine.
Come on baby.
Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
I love the good times , Ro Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:10:33):
Find a secret compartment behind the painting
of Lord Orphan.
It's a massive painting of adark helmeted Lord.
There's no like facial featuresor anything, Just a man in
(01:10:53):
armor or being in armor.
Some say he's a god.
Speaker 1 (01:11:01):
God with like funny doodles on wrappers.
When I look inside thecompartment and see if there's
like any kind of like ledger ordiary or something that Orphan
would have touched himself.
Speaker 3 (01:11:19):
You find the key to the safe.
Speaker 1 (01:11:22):
Oh, okay, let's open up the safe man.
Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
I've been sitting there with the cuff links trying
to unlock.
I turn around.
Oh okay, that makes more sense.
Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
I huff my bangs out of my eyes and like use the key.
Speaker 3 (01:11:48):
There are a few things in there.
One is a diary.
Okay, it seems to be writtenyears ago.
Speaker 2 (01:11:56):
It's like very precise cursive, unlike the
doodles.
Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
It says this belongs to Tim Orphan.
Speaker 1 (01:12:06):
Tim Orphan Tee.
Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
Tee.
Speaker 1 (01:12:10):
Oh, it's Tee Orphan, tim Orphan.
That's amazing.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
Some would call me Tim Tim Tim the Enchanter.
Speaker 3 (01:12:26):
As you sift through it it almost reads like the
diary of a madman, so obsessedwith power he writes out.
Half of it is just businessplans, just bullet points.
Speaker 2 (01:12:46):
Kill maim, torture.
Speaker 3 (01:12:51):
And you come across several entries where he's
talking about bringing downAsimuth Corporation, destroying
Hell Growth Mine.
And it's not only AsimuthCorporation, there's like all
these other companies probablynever even heard of.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:13:14):
Okay, interesting, I'm going to pocket the diary.
Speaker 2 (01:13:18):
Yeah, I'm going to get something else in the safe.
Speaker 3 (01:13:24):
I should say there's a magical item and we'll roll
for it, because I feel like he'sthe type of guy to keep a
magical item in there.
Speaker 2 (01:13:34):
Yeah, like gauntlets or something crazy or cuffs.
Speaker 3 (01:13:40):
Roll a D2 hundo.
Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
D2, hundo on it.
That's a 1, 2, 3.
Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
4, 5, 6.
Speaker 3 (01:13:57):
Roll again.
Speaker 2 (01:13:58):
No, it's a 191.
Okay, 191.
Speaker 3 (01:14:11):
Wow, there is a seed, a seed, a seed.
You pick it up and it feelslike there's swirling air around
it Interesting.
Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
Swirly air seed Make a lore check.
Nice Silverman lore check.
Speaker 1 (01:14:40):
Silverman lore.
Check Silverman lore check,that's a 6.
Speaker 3 (01:14:50):
You think you've heard of something like this.
It's called a seed ofhurricanes Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
Of course Lord Orphan would have in his safe a seed
of hurricanes.
Speaker 2 (01:15:04):
I love it.
Do I know whether or not oneshould plant it, or is it a
thrown thing?
That's all we got.
Speaker 3 (01:15:16):
With your success with a twist.
All you know is the name of it.
Speaker 2 (01:15:20):
It's okay.
What?
Speaker 3 (01:15:25):
a twist.
So, as you guys are justrooting around in here, the door
opens.
Speaker 1 (01:15:36):
Oh, I died behind the desk.
Speaker 2 (01:15:39):
We all died behind the desk.
Speaker 1 (01:15:41):
I'll grab Noggin.
Speaker 3 (01:15:44):
What?
And from behind the desk yousee a huge figure.
Looks like Lord Orphan himself.
Speaker 2 (01:15:58):
The mind of a child.
Speaker 3 (01:16:00):
He's looking down here, turns around, chests the
door, he flips on the lights andhe takes off not just his
helmet but his chest piece andhead piece and it's just like a
(01:16:26):
young kid, he's like 20something.
Speaker 2 (01:16:32):
Wait, he's 20 and he's doodling like a five year
old.
Speaker 3 (01:16:36):
Well, I mean, he's not like a five year old, it's
just like really soft morickstuff.
Speaker 2 (01:16:42):
Ah, yes.
Speaker 1 (01:16:44):
Prude.
Speaker 3 (01:16:46):
And he this obviously can't be Lord Orphan.
He's like pimply faced likeyoung.
Speaker 2 (01:16:56):
He's like how do we go?
Speaker 3 (01:16:58):
Any size and like puts down this what is
essentially like a mascotuniform.
Speaker 1 (01:17:10):
I'm gonna jump on the desk and say, ah.
Speaker 3 (01:17:17):
I think we're going to end it there.
Speaker 1 (01:17:23):
Oh man, tune in next week to see what happens.
This is wild.
I love it.
It's fun.
Speaker 3 (01:17:33):
All right, all right.
Speaker 2 (01:17:38):
Going to the Kailin.
There he is this is the kid.
What?
What are you doing in my office?
Oh, why?
Speaker 3 (01:17:54):
It's exactly what it is Awesome.
All right, everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:17:59):
Thanks for joining us .
Speaker 3 (01:18:02):
Shout out to Bernard.
Speaker 1 (01:18:03):
Shout out to Bernard and all of his luck.
Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
And all of our patrons on Patreon.
Speaker 1 (01:18:08):
Yeah, thanks so much.
Good times, good times.
We'll be back next week and ifyou haven't checked it out on
Twitch, occasionally on the web,you can check it out on the web
.
And then on Mondays, george Benand I have been hanging out
playing World of WarcraftClassic.
Speaker 3 (01:18:29):
The hardcore is three dwarves and it's been pretty
fun, it's nothing crazy, we'rejust hanging out, and if you
want to chime in and join us,yeah, just check out the Twitch
channel in general, like we'reall like sort of gaming every
now and then.
Speaker 1 (01:18:46):
Yeah, and we'll be back next week with a new video
too, so you can check that out.
But yeah, thanks again forjoining us and we'll see you
next Saturday for the excitingconclusion.
Speaker 2 (01:18:56):
I mean maybe.
Speaker 1 (01:18:59):
Yeah or death.
Yeah, or death, which is that'swhat I always pray for, is it?
There's a decent likelihoodthat at some point, we're not
going to be able to weasel allthe way out of something?
Speaker 3 (01:19:11):
All right.
Speaker 2 (01:19:13):
Thanks everybody.
Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
Bye guys.
you, you, you, you, you, you, hey everybody, hey hey
(03:38):
.
Happy new year.
Post turkey day moon fresherspost the gobble, gobble.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
We are here for our 16th session of the land of VM
RPG.
It's a 16 we've got Galen andRiley on board to continue their
adventure.
Just had our teens in the eracrazy adventures for the land of
VM.
Sandbox the muckling room thisis a game that you can download
(04:06):
right now.
Drive through RPG.
It's called land of VM RPG.
You know what I mean, and youhave all the tools to play, just
like we are right this momentmm-hmm so let's kind of rehash
what happened last time.
It's been two weeks, the firsttime we've missed a week.
(04:28):
But George failed us, I failedus.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I did have fun playing golden axe 2 and the
Dungeons and Dragons.
I can't remember the namearcade game Mistara.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Chronicles of Mistara what course of Mistara?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
that was a fun time, so here are your your quests at
the moment?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
the first one is to build a bridge for a Sven the
Yodeling troll.
It's been what you've beenworking towards since day one.
It's already underway.
But you have to go to Dunk inthe Drippy Downs to inform the
toll tellers of Sven's transferand give them all the paperwork.
You were asked to visit thelast tree in the used to be
(05:17):
forest.
Yeah, who asked you to do that?
Was it a?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
random encounter no.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I think it was was it Ikki Lundy?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
maybe, yeah, it was Ikki.
Dr Ikkabod Lundy wants us to gospeak with J Spinky Nabernutty
regarding the last tree in theused to be forest right and then
you had a sort of side quest,the last couple sessions, where
you went into hell, growth, mineand you met an old noggin.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Old noggin who worked in some way for azimuth
corporation back in the daybefore their whole business was
sabotaged by subterranean pitsand layers.
According to him, Lord Orphanyeah, you're trying to prove
(06:16):
that it was Lord Orphan.
You found some cufflinks, lordT Orphan.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yes, you found some cufflinks with T Orphan in them,
buried in the rubble of hell,growth mine, and that's where
you are that is where you areindeed, and I think we were
gonna and correct me if I'mwrong, sir Galen we were gonna
(06:43):
go to SPL to make a case thatthey screwed up big time with
this guy.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Some stuff we're gonna make a case where we're
gonna try to find more evidenceand then evidence yeah, we got
the first piece, which is thecufflinks.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
We were gonna resolve that at SPL and then maybe that
could actually impact the lasttree, but we don't know yet yeah
she could get a cease anddesist for all the last tree.
We can then cross overEttenhorn and we were gonna take
the river down to Dunk.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Yeah, we'll die in Ettenhorn.
I don't care which way you guyschoose to go, but I distinctly
remember you guys saying youwere going to the last tree
first.
Oh really.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Then back to SPL and I was like, oh yeah, and then,
ben, you suggested that thatmight be a little backwards well
, it's just more travel, becauseyou're doubling back yeah,
that's why the SPL current.
Spl plan kind of stands alright.
I think that'll do rank littlebit of a hold oh my gosh luch,
(07:57):
alright?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
um, it's a new day.
You're with old noggin, just uh.
Move yourself across the mapand you want to go.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Here's where it begins, george move yourself
here's where the travel rollsbegin.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I want to go here hahahaha, ah I want to avoid all
danger.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
You uh make roll a d12, see if you die yeah, um no,
let's.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I mean, can we cut?
Is the bridge done at the crackyet?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I don't think so.
This is a long term plan okayit was going well but it wasn't
done so I have
Speaker 2 (08:43):
to go around the crack, I take it.
So I have to go up one, so I'llroll a d12 with the realms yes,
you can actually move two,hexes two hexes, there we go,
hexasocies.
Uh, I mean, it's a seven, alittle bump, indeed bump, set
(09:11):
alone on a log, on a rollhahahaha, I uh, I take damage, I
take your eye you take toll wow, okay, you uh, can you help me
out with um finding what yourresult is?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
no you have to roll a six d6.
Hey, bernard, how you doinghello.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Bernard welcome luck charm yes, I feel positive about
this all yeah, everything'slooking up.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
So what is?
What is a?
Speaker 3 (09:56):
five result.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I'm still paging through the manual.
I'm sorry, the menu in.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I'm sorry, I should open it up.
I didn't even do that.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I will do that uh uh, bump in a row and roll a d65
unwanted attention there we go,here we go.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Okay, so what that means is, uh, when you guys camp
for the night, you'll have ahigher chance of encountering
something okay, bump in the row,all right.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
So, uh, that's our first leg.
James, you want to take us onour second leg?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
uh, sure, sure, let me roll a d12.
Um, hey, look at that.
What are you gonna do, uh a 12.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
That's gonna be a discovery roll roll a d100, no
d20, sorry, oops 11, my luckynumber you gain two keys um um,
(11:02):
you find an abandoned carnival,that's very creepy it's a little
creepy.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
All the games and prizes are intact, but there's
no sign at all of the carnivalworkers well, after taking a
teddy bear and stuffing it intomy knapsack, I started to look
around, for I love this this iscool um, no sign of the carnival
(11:29):
workers didn't we run into aband that was going somewhere?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
were they going to a carnival?
They were going to Croglandthey were going to Crogland, all
right, maybe they left.
This carnival and they had, youknow, consumed everyone's souls
um you never, know, likely,likely, what happened can we do
a search?
Checkman look around yeah yeah,uh, james, your search check
(11:56):
better than plus zero it is I'mplus one have at it.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I will search what a d12 for okay okay okay, okay
five, sorry, five five four um,you don't find anything that
would suggest what might havehappened here, but um, you do
(12:26):
find one of those, uh kind ofsledgehammers if you want it
make it a sledgehammersledgehammer that you use for
the, for like the bell where youhit the bell, the strong thing,
yeah, um yeah, let's grab it.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Are there rations we can obtain from here like old
carny food?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
just like funnel cakes.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
That's like a ton of funnel cake.
Not real food, but, um you know, sweets treats.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah well, it'll give us a sugar rush, but we're all
going to crash with headacheslater let's say it'll give you a
plus one.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
It's your uh keeling, but it's not going to be like
okay that's cool it's likecomfort food.
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
yeah, I do fried twinkies funnel cake.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I bet you they've battered in fried.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Nakedonki tube steaks .
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, they're sticking them.
Wow, scrock nest mountainoysters.
Yeah, scrocky mountain oysters.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Scrocky mountain oysters.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Come get them on a cold Cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah Cool.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
I think that's it here.
Okay, you can move your tokento Hexas.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Go for it, James.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
And then night falls and move this.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Oh, thank you.
I was clicking on the video.
I was like why doesn't he movehere?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Why doesn't it work, it's not working.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I don't understand James the Luddite.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
James the Luddite, I am he.
Who donna he?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Who donna?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
who?
Yeah, what do you guys do?
Old Noggin is he's.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Sorry, hit the wrong button.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Old Noggin.
So I'll say hey, old Noggin,like what kind of evidence do
you think we'd find at SPL thatwould support your claim that
Lord R Fong's sabotaged theAzimuth Company?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I don't know.
You know, maybe they have oldfiles somewhere.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yeah, it's old files, a paper trail.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Files of sabotage.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
They're very meticulous.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I do, I hope, to find a way to get access to the
store room or something?
Speaker 3 (15:26):
I'm sure it's buried deep somewhere in a vault.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
A vault, classic vault.
I remember when I applied for ajob at SPL, they made me fill
out 72 forms in quadruplicate.
It was miserable.
They're highly meticulousorganization.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Tons of bureaucratic paperwork, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
It's gotten ridiculous.
You know, back in my day weused to put on a hard hat, go
down in the mine, Don't need topaperwork.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
That's it.
That's all you had to do Allright.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Do you guys want to ask each other any pointed
questions?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Oh it's true.
I've done that for a long time.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I'm trying to think of any pointed burning questions
I have for Riley.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Funnel cake.
I hand him one.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I think it's just one of those nights and I crunch
into the funnel cake and I putmy hands behind my head and I
lean back and I say good night.
Riley.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Good night Katelyn, good night Noggin, good night
Zona.
What Good night Johnboy.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Guys are playing the game the way it's supposed to be
played, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Fast blues, fast blues.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Hey, why do I help you out here?
Read the text under making camp.
Adventures don't just sit aroundin silence and then hit the
sack.
They tend to tell stories toeach other and ask each other
questions.
Each time the party makes camp,one character may ask another
character campfire question.
The goal should be to askevocative questions that elicit
(17:20):
revealing answers, givinginsight into the character's
personality, backstory,relationships and personal quest
.
If need be, the asking playercan ask related follow up
questions to draw out somethingjuicy.
This is a great time forcharacters to build on their
relationships and gain XP.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I say I turned to Riley, as my eyes are closing,
and I say hey, riley, rememberhow I just said that I applied
to SPL for a job?
I remember you getting prettymad at me for doing that.
I never figured out why.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Well, I mean, our village had just been destroyed.
We were kind of amped up onfinding the people responsible
for it, and then you had thiswild hair to go join SPL, and I
just didn't approve of it.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
I just wanted to be a part of something again.
I mean, I feel like I felt likewe lost our whole village.
I feel like, you know, we hadnothing left.
Spl was kind of an opportunityfor a new future.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
You are part of something, though You're part of
this man like us out here doingheroic work.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I turned down my speakers accidentally.
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
You are a part of something dude.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, you're part of this.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I'm the worst.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
That's fine.
You are a part of something.
We're adventurers.
We're trying to bring justiceto the Mucklins.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
No, I mean, yeah, now we are.
But back then I just rememberfeeling so lost.
It was just such a terribletime.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
I can relate to that.
Sometimes I feel lost.
I mean, here we are with thisguy who's more lost than anyone
we've ever met.
Final cake, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Suck on this old man.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Sometimes I feel like we've lost our way ourselves.
I've talked to you about that.
I kind of losing the thread ofwhy we're going out here in the
first place.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
But you know, if you hadn't stopped me from joining
SPL, I mean I would have beenpart of an organization that
just underhandedly destroystheir competition.
I mean I would have been partand parcel to what happened to
Noggin.
That's pretty terrible.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I know it is pretty terrible.
Plus, no dental, no dental.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm going to look at this guy's teeth.
Oh no, but he's asthma, so Iguess they had bad dental too.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah, and he's been eating sand for 30 years.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
He spits out a mouthful of sand.
What I said?
That's not okay.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Funnel cake's in his other hand.
He's just like shuffling sandin his mouth.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Very earthy.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Earthy.
Yeah, Zoninbac is like.
Yes, the sand is very earthy.
It is delicious.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
He's like mycelium is like sifting into the ground.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yeah, I have found my Nutritious yes.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
As you guys are talking, you hear something
creeping.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Oh, georgie, sorry we hear something creeping,
creeping in the darkness.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yes, Take out the sledgehammer.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah, I take out a funnel cake.
I guess we peer into thedarkness and see if we can
perceive them.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
You glimpse in the moonlight like a big hulking
beast.
No, it looks like it's walkingupright, though.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I'll say who goes there.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
You hear a snarl and then in the firelight you see
like a giant mouth, grotesqueface, like on the chest of a
hairy humanoid.
It's like and it says where,when am I?
(21:43):
Well you're here now, you're atour camp.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
You're just a few miles north of the crack.
We're camping out here.
You're welcome to join us.
I say with terror in my voice.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It kind of peers around its eyes, darting madly,
and it grabs for a zona in buck.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Food?
No, I like freaking.
Smash them on the nose with thehammer.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Okay, we're entering conflict.
I guess here you know what Imean that means it's like more
like a don't eat.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
That I don't mean to.
I'm not like swinging for thefences, but it is a conflict.
I accept that.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I'm going to make a worldwide check to, once per
session, make up a fact about aculture, a faction or a group of
people.
Okay, and I'm going to.
When I'm going to say that theBlemies don't like food that can
talk to them.
So when zona inbox says, oh no,stop, don't hit me, it freaks
(22:58):
out and recoils.
I was very surprised by this.
Let's see if this works.
That's a 14.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Oh wow, Nice.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Okay, it drops zona inbox and pounces for the funnel
cakes and like all the goodies,like all the goodies that
you've gotten.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Totally fine.
I say yes, yes, that is food.
He is not food.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
He is friend.
Where is my home?
Are you lost?
Speaker 1 (23:40):
I don't exactly know.
Maybe we could help you find it.
Are you from around here?
How long have you beenwandering?
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Four days Four.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Wow, four years, it's a long time.
Four days, so you it's likefour days travel maybe from how
far away he is, unless he's beengoing in circles.
Yeah, what does your home looklike?
Dark, dark, like a cave maybe.
(24:16):
Yeah, like a cave Got it.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Do you remember any kind of yodeling?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
near your home.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Did you hear any yodeling?
Stop what I imitate as ayodeling.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Yodeling.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Does that sound familiar?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Do you?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
hear any of that, because maybe he's from the
crack.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, he seems to hate the yodeling.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
He's like pulling at his hair.
No, no stop.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Sorry, chief.
So he's from a cave.
He's been wandering for fourdays and he's lost.
Let me see.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Let me check my pallies.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
What's?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
the range of Sven's yodeling, like how many hexes
can you find?
Two, two hexes, we can rule outthe crack, I feel.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah, it's probably one hex.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
He's a powerful yodeler.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
A hex is six miles.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Can I use I for clues and create a clue?
I hope I make this, but he'sgot some red and brown clay all
over his feet and bottom of hislegs and if we look carefully
enough we can see that the clayis like he's been stamping these
(25:38):
footprints and we can follow tosee the direction that he came
from and maybe find his cave.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Sure, all right, it's all for nothing if I fail.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Six Six.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Seven.
Success with a twist.
Seven plus one.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I got closed by windows.
There's a smoke outside.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Hold on.
Yeah, yeah, that is true.
He has left footprints that youcan see like just walking like
several yards away from the campseem like it leads out
(26:27):
somewhere.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Why don't we bed down for the night and then, when
morning comes, we can moreeasily take you home?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
You can camp here, have more food.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Sleep.
You can sleep here.
Don't eat the mushroom guy.
Oh, we'll take you home in themorning when we can see.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Okay, he gets down like directly on the fire and
stamps it up.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Well, good night everybody, yeah Goes back to the
hole.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Good night, riley.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Riley freezes to death in the night, and it's he
runs over on her and smothersher.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
She's warm, but you each wake up in the middle of
the night and like he's justsplayed out, like yeah, I have
an arm on my chest.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
His ability to just like sit down in the fire and
like not feel any pain makes mehappy that we didn't engage.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah, just a little bit.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
It's like we would have had no shot Um you know?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
all right, you can down vampires.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
It's fine.
That's true.
That's true with health.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Ourselves in the middle of the night old noggin
whispers to you.
Galen says we should probablyoff him right now.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
I Say, think of all the meat.
I Say, oh noggin, what's that?
And I point and I say oh, okay,all right, good night, old
noggin what they're all over andgo back to sleep.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
All right, you wake up and he's like huddled, he's
like laying on your chest, old,noggin, old noggin.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
It's the toothy or toothless, drooly mouth on my
like shoulders suckling.
It's kind of like a suck markson my frog shoulder.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Yeah, he's holding a knife.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Hmm.
But morning comes where did youget that?
There were no murders.
But but out of the blimey issticking a knife.
It just did nothing.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
He did it himself to.
He just nicked himself shavingyeah right into his head.
Um, all right.
Well then, I guess we shouldtake the blimey to the cave like
let's which cave?
Are you gonna follow the tracks?
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I bet it's the moldy cave.
But yeah, let's follow thetracks, let's track.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
I can use search.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Search it up.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
For.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Oh, okay, maybe I can tell my faithful steed to sniff
out the trail, because that's athing turtles do.
Let's see if that.
Well, now go ahead.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Well, let's, let's resolve this role first.
You know what I mean?
I don't, because that'sgenerally how the game works.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Generally very tactful way to say George yeah,
sit your butt down.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Nope, nope, nope, no it's.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
It's a design choice, you know, like so.
So players don't go.
I failed.
Now, now I do something.
It's like alright, let's get toanother end state.
So it's a failure with with aplus.
So let's try to think aboutwhat that means.
Well, as you guys are Followingthese tracks, you kind of lose.
(30:45):
You lose them in the wilderness, okay, but what?
Do you have any ideas what theplus could be?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
We find a wandering herd of blemish.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I was about to say we find some other place that
Blemie likes, but that seemslike a too far of a resolution.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
I think mine is probably too far as well, but I
love the idea of like a herd ofdinosaurs.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Oh, we find, we find, like a patch of the mushrooms
that he does like to eat, oh,yeah, the non sentient variety
to prevent him from becomingangry that we haven't got home.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Nice, okay, he, um, he stops, like just devours them
all.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, you know, you want some.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Zoni and Buck looks at him distastefully.
He eats my cousins.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I'll say no, I just ate, although I'm feeling ill
from the funnel cake.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
I you know what.
I have some Hope.
We haven't had enoughexcitement.
Make a vitality check oh yeah,here we go.
Let's see how vital I only haveone in vitality.
I really thought I had more.
It doesn't matter as an eightwith a quest point, that's a
(32:15):
nine, I'm vital.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
You want to use a quest point.
Oh, by the way, what's yourcourage, both of you.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
What's your courage?
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Unlimited.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I had the power.
I had ten out of sixteen.
I.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Don't know see, both could have healed.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Well, with a funnel takes.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Technically, I could have you guys not have rations
or not only the funnel cake.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
No, I had two rations .
We purchased some in the marshgate before we left.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I don't it's.
I don't have any written on mysheet.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
So yeah, anyway yeah yeah, take care of that.
You know we use a ration orwhatever.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
We roll a d6 because I would have eaten a ration to
cool that been.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I'm gonna take care of thatbusiness.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
That's a five.
I I sneak.
I ate the ration before theBlemie showed up so he didn't
consume the rest of it.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Well, this mushroom gives you one temporary courage.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Nice.
So I'm now.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Also make a realms check for this leg of the
journey.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I can make it.
It's a 10 Cool.
I Ask Zona in Bac if he cantell us anything about these
mushrooms as we journey.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yes, as you bit into them, they released their spores
and I Lived their life.
Zone as a simple life, butbeautiful, uncomprehensible to,
(34:33):
yeah, you too, I suppose, justexperiencing in living daily In
this used to be forest, the soilof cracked earth, watching the
Sun Rise and set.
I.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Start balling.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
We're murderers as I eat my neck.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Riley is just balling this is the baddest thing she's
ever heard.
It's like poetry.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yeah, ben, as far as movement, would this have
brought us farther away from ourdestination?
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Yeah, the tracks were leading you north maybe like
this way almost yeah, okay, butyou've lost sight of them at
this point.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Okay, so close to wallies, get some waffles.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
I know, I was just thinking like maybe we could
take the Blemme to wallies andsee if anybody knows if there's
a Blemme that lives nearbyanybody looking for a Blemme?
Speaker 2 (35:47):
It's true.
Okay, so that's our first legday.
Should we take the Blemme toSPL or should we keep head north
?
Speaker 1 (36:00):
I was just considering that.
I wonder if SPL, like, wouldknow the location of like the
blemme's they deal with likemonsters and creatures and
critters all the time you know.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I feel like they murder monsters and creatures
and critters all the time.
We can get him a job there.
Yes, lots of forms.
He can be an enforcer.
He'll be the final boss, orhear me out on this.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
This is crazy, but or we all get to become a gigantic
distraction.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Also good, we're gonna walk in and be like that
guy has mushrooms, get him.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
I think you might be onto something here.
You know SPL is probably ahighly guarded traps and
taskmasters.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
He's only on the hook down and he looks up and he
says it is not and he keepswriting yeah All right?
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Well, let's go to SPL .
Let's just take the Blemiealong and found a new cave for
him or something I don't know.
Just yeah, the Blemie could beutilized.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Okay, then we should.
Yeah, let's head east to SPL HQ, if you want to roll it up.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
I will roll a, roll a four, sorry Four.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
It's all good.
I scroll back to that part ofthe book Travel checks for is a
dangerous encounter.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Oh boy, that is true.
Roll a D 100.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
79.
I wonder if it's going to beanother Blemie and if they'll
get along they immediately forma family.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
This is hilarious.
It's the troop of Bogartmusicians that's amazing, that's
fantastic.
They're on their way back fromCrogland.
You know they're heading toWallies.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
That's so great, it's so amazing.
What are the chances?
100.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
But this time they're looking super frantic.
They see you in the distanceand are running towards you.
Some of them are missing theirinstruments.
They're like help help.
(38:57):
When they get up to you,they're panting.
There's a werewolf.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
There's a werewolf when Crogland.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
It's Jesus.
It ravaged the whole place.
Oh my God, Our set was justdestroyed.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
You think that's what ?
No, no, what was it?
A slime that got the other guyright.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
I don't know what you're talking about.
There's a werewolf, we got toget out of here.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Should we go to Wallies?
This guy's S-S is too far.
Let's go to SPL Gray.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Wolf and Blemie.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Oh yeah, we're headed to SPL.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
I say, you guys could probably hide in this corporate
headquarters.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
It's like going to the foyer, slam the door and
start barring it.
One of the musicians is like noman.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I'm never working for the man, dude, I'm not
corporate.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
You're not working for them, you're taking
advantage of them.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yeah we're being chased by a werewolf.
I refuse to set foot in thatestablishment.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
We all go in, whether or not.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
The werewolf snatches him off the ground.
We just keep running.
Oh see you, some man.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
It's like a Stephen King film.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
I think we should totally run for the SPL and get
inside.
Yeah, I'm on board with that.
A freaking werewolf.
That's horrifying.
Do we see it in the?
Speaker 2 (40:28):
distance.
Is it like in Monty Python, theHoly Grail, when Lancelot keeps
running towards the cat phone,he's just suddenly there?
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Yeah, that's what's happening.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
The two guards at SPL .
Let us into the foyer andthey're just standing there
eating an apple.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
Yeah, make athletics checks.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Oh, shoot, Nice.
I mean that's going to be aneight.
I think.
Hold on, I've got to get mycharacter sheet.
Oh, it's a nine.
I'm a great athlete.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Okay 11.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I think that makes it .
That means you all sprint tothe door.
The werewolf is still a ways inthe distance, but this door is
locked.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
I'm going to start moving furniture in the waiting
area in front of the doorfrantically, without even saying
anything to the person at thefront desk.
Speaker 3 (41:39):
Yeah, what I mean is the front door of SPL is locked.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Oh man.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
I'm going to start pounding on it.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Are they?
Closed for the weekend orsomething.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
This is like an entrance that's.
You know it's not like abusiness that people freely go
through in and out.
A slot in the door opens up andyou see like B little eyes peer
through and says what is it?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
You got to let us in.
There's something chasing us.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
Why should I care?
Deal with it we?
Speaker 2 (42:16):
have money.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
I say do you know?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
who I am.
I say do you know who I am?
We have money.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
We got a lot of money .
You got a lot of money.
We'll give you some.
How much?
Speaker 2 (42:33):
We got two silver packs man.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Is that what we have?
That's what we have.
We've got one silver pouch, man.
Look, take the silver pouch tolet us in, or the Blemie is
going to open the door.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Fine, he opens the door.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
I'll like shoe everybody in.
Like get inside.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
The werewolf is darting closer.
Probably you know 30 feet awayby the time.
You all are shuffling inside asthe door slam shut.
Galen, make a might check tokeep it closed.
(43:25):
You're with the Blemie and theSPL guy and you're trying to
shove the door closed.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
I'm going to use pep talk, my new power, pep talk
Goal and inspire twice persession on a six plus.
Choose one of the following andI'm going to make him roll
advantage on this Nice, I'mgoing to say, galen, you can do
this Feet to strength.
Buddy, she's going to hold thatdoor.
I know you can do it.
River ball champion, let's makeit happen.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
As a nine gives me an advantage, so it's going to be
an 11.
At first, galen keeps lookingat his feet, wondering why
you're calling them feet ofstrength, and then he wraps his
head around the concept of whatyou're talking about and he puts
his back into the door.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
The most jock moment Galen has ever had.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
While you slam it shut and hold it, as this
ravenous werewolf just likeclaws and pushes on the door,
the SPL employee manages to lockit and noise.
He's like oh, that's a werewolf.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Yeah, yeah, that's what we said.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yeah, chief Freaking werewolf.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Oh this, this door is pretty sturdy, won't get
through.
It's good to know.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
I'm Riley, by the way , this is Galen.
Yeah, hand over the cash.
I'll go through my pockets andhand over the cash.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
All right, so pay for some Nakedonki tube stakes and
latest issue of Dungeon inMagazine.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Excellent, excellent.
So anyway, catch you later andjust start walking like down the
stairs.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
Where are?
Speaker 1 (45:26):
you going?
Oh, you know, we didn't intendto come through this entrance,
but we actually have anappointment with a front desk,
oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:37):
What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (45:39):
We got a business transaction we're going to
conduct Apparently.
You're looking for some reallygreat adventures and we're the
guys.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
Make a trickery check .
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Put that hat on man.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
All right 13.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
At this point, Riley's just walking around with
a crazy helmet on.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
I roll a 13.
Speaker 3 (46:10):
Oh yeah, I heard about that.
Yeah, the adventure is wouldn'twant to be you guys.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
Oh go right this way, right this way, my own lie has
me second-handing it.
Now I'm just like, oh really.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
That's what we do.
What do we do Huh?
Speaker 3 (46:35):
Are you talking to him?
Speaker 2 (46:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Well, you know, the job you're hired for is like
pretty serious.
Yeah oh yeah.
That goes without saying.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
You know what I mean no, but we like when people say
it, that's actually a lot ofcash.
Well, you know saying it makesit true, I I've.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
Spit it out man Been been hearing a lot of noises
from the sewers lately, you knowoh, below SPL.
Yeah, yeah, you know where allthe turds go.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
Yeah, all the turds.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Oh, but one, you know , I mean I.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Yeah, or could be.
You know, I heard a wyvern gotloose Wyvern bubble goose.
Yeah, or or you could be hiredto reset all the floor traps,
you know that's my leastfavorite of the bunch.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
Well, we'll, we'll see ourselves out.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
Thank you, sir.
Yeah, you want to go to thefront desk.
You'll talk to Frown a D Browna thing.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
Okay, got it.
I Lean over to Galen.
It's like I don't know that.
I have any intention to go tothe front desk now that we're in
.
We should find the storehouse,see if we can find some of that.
Some of the paperwork go to theold file cabinets, shuffle
through them, I mean.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
I mean Galen shrugs.
He's fine with whatever.
I have a feeling we're gonnaend up at the front desk
regardless.
Speaker 3 (48:22):
Well, if you want to like, scoot by the front desk.
I'll have to make a sneak check.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
And we still have the musicians with us.
That's how that works.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Well, I don't know, do you want to ditch them?
Speaker 2 (48:37):
I say, okay, you guys are safe now, right, I mean,
give me a hand for this.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Ah, what are we supposed to do, even us?
Speaker 1 (48:49):
All right, come on, I'll start passing that little
paper cups a cucumber water tothem from the from the foyer.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Thanks amazing.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
All right, how do you want to do this, galen?
Do you want to try to sneakpast the front desk?
Maybe cause a distraction?
Speaker 3 (49:12):
with this group.
Yeah, I'm the cause ofdistraction.
They're gonna.
I figured you'll havedisadvantage.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
I think that they should be the distraction.
I'll say all right, guys, wesaved you.
Can you do us a favor and justPlace some percussion on this,
these trash cans and stuff?
I know you don't have yourinstruments, but you know.
Well, I still have myinstrument it's got to go to.
(49:40):
But yeah, well, I mean the restof you guys, we just need help
causing distraction.
I mean it's quid pro quo, right?
Speaker 3 (49:51):
Yeah, yeah, you know you've helped us out twice, so I
mean it's the least we could do.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
I'll introduce them to the Blemme and Say not food,
not food.
Speaker 3 (50:07):
This is not food, not food.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Not a bad name, for I'll say like not food, not food
.
To the to the, oh and I'll, andI say you stay here for a
second, we'll be right back andthen I'll lean over to the, to
the band and say like anythingbut yodeling, and he'll be cool
(50:38):
one of the guys looks real sad.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
Oh, I'll put my hand on shoulder, yeah sorry, chief
oh.
That's fine I.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Got a triangle.
Okay, yeah, he'll take that theBlemme's like triangle.
All right, so attempt to.
Let's get them going, see if Ican create any more chaos.
Speaker 3 (51:10):
All right, well, having them musicians Will give
you advantage both of yourchecks to get out of this area
okay.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
All right.
Oh man, I need the advantage.
I'm minus one sneak, oh.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
My gosh, my armor is you're not gonna help me in this
case eight, does it just cancelit out?
It does.
Thankfully it just canceledthat my sneaky sneak.
Oh, that's an eight do blade.
(51:52):
I mean I would use a questpoint.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
So I don't I I'm gonna do that.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
I, I'm gonna do that.
Old noggin remains with you.
He, you guys Get past the lobbyand now you're like Into the
winding halls of subterraneanpits and layers.
You do pass some people butthey're not really paying
(52:26):
attention to you.
See, like people with likehelmets, like Riley carrying
briefcases and People drinkingcoffee, is that there's a male
carrier just like dropping offmale, like memos and stuff
people's offices.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
It's all very organized.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
But at the same time a dungeon.
It's like a damp, dank dungeon.
Now you have three ways to goand you guys have no idea when
anything is that?
There's like a branchinghallway.
You go straight, left or right.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Let's go straight.
Okay, let's just try it.
Yeah, if we can be clever,Maybe we can get it out at
somewhere.
Out them clever girl.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (53:25):
All right, I'm gonna have you Make a check, not a
sneak check, but a search check.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
Ten nice.
Speaker 3 (53:46):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
Just hear the tuba.
People are like moving to thebe a little bit and then like
water cooler, talk now like.
Taskmaster kicks open a door,he's like get back to work and
stop listening to that music.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
Who's playing the tune?
Speaker 3 (54:13):
You start seeing Like offices, signs, and and the.
The titles of the people keepgetting more impressive as you
go deeper and deeper.
Speaker 2 (54:31):
Head beheader.
Speaker 3 (54:34):
Yeah, head beheader, head torture Smith.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
Yeah, if we can check out the files of, like,
whoever's in charge, maybe wecan.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
Head honcho, head of honchos.
Speaker 3 (54:54):
You get to a door hover that says restricted
access.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
I mean this must be it Okay um, let's see, Can I
tinker this door?
Speaker 2 (55:10):
tinker tell us old guy, I Will.
Inspiring order.
You really gotta get the dooropen.
Come on, rally.
It's not very inspiring,especially since I just told you
to just get the door open.
(55:31):
There's nothing inspiring aboutwhat I said.
Just do it, come on.
Speaker 1 (55:34):
What are you doing?
I'm trying to like pick thelock.
Can I try to like take thehinges off the door?
No, like take the whole dooroff the wall with.
Speaker 3 (55:46):
It's a pretty massive door Okay.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
Let's see, do I have anything that's helpful?
Thanks, bernard.
Speaker 3 (55:57):
Bernard is bestowing his good luck upon you.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
Oh all right, here we go.
Here we go, maybe I can, maybeI can saw, like, is it made of
wood or iron or what's?
How's it?
Yeah, it's an iron door.
Oh crap, it's an iron door.
Speaker 2 (56:17):
Um, oh, how about this Disturbing?
I'm gonna make a perceptioncheck to create a weakness
within the door for narrativepurposes.
So there's a really big rustspot by the hinges where water
has been dripping.
Speaker 3 (56:36):
Do you not have lockpicks?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
this is the problem.
I don't have lockpicks oranything that looked like that.
I'm trying to find a way totinker through.
Speaker 2 (56:44):
Well, I mean I.
What I said is true.
There is rust rampant in thedoor.
Speaker 1 (56:53):
Bernard, you might need it, you're right.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
Um, I mean you could use with this weakness like
makeshift lockpicks or whatever.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
Well, if it's, if it's like a rusty, if it's like
a routing, I could use thesledgehammer to like see if I
can't punch a hole through it.
Okay, and then like, maybetinker to like create a device
to go up and there and unlock it.
Speaker 2 (57:21):
Cool because, I've got some.
Speaker 1 (57:22):
I've got some junk and stuff.
Speaker 2 (57:24):
I've got like some tools and yeah, I got some junk
in that trunk you know.
Speaker 1 (57:30):
Right.
So Georgie, what's?
What do I do?
Speaker 2 (57:34):
No, no, I.
I mean, I made the rust existand Then noodle Existed.
The noodle exists and life wasgood.
I don't know what.
What are you gonna do?
I've done what I need to do.
Speaker 1 (57:47):
I'm gonna look around See if anybody's coming, and
then sledgehammer the red spot.
Speaker 3 (57:55):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Do it in time to the tube of music make a tinker
check at disadvantage, okay.
Eight Nice want to keep youthat yeah, I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (58:17):
Yeah, actually nine.
Speaker 2 (58:20):
What am I?
Speaker 1 (58:20):
thinking.
Speaker 3 (58:23):
You're able to do it.
You go like clang into the door.
There is a noticeable noise.
Speaker 1 (58:32):
As soon as I clang into it, I'm gonna throw the
sledgehammer through, so itlooks like I don't have anything
in my hands.
Speaker 3 (58:37):
Yeah and the door just like Slowly jars open.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
Oh, like shout, like if you get it fix this door this
door is a mess really loud andthen sneak inside.
Speaker 2 (58:54):
That's teamwork, baby .
Speaker 3 (58:57):
So on the other side, Seem more offices and people
Want a Guy who looks like ataskmaster.
Here's the noise he says whatthe hell's going on?
Speaker 1 (59:16):
Rans, somebody's playing the tube out in the
foyer.
It's carrying throughout thewhole place.
Speaker 3 (59:21):
No, I'm talking about you.
Just What'd you do?
Speaker 1 (59:24):
the door, oh the door's got to be repaired.
See this rough spot busted whoare you maintenance crew?
Speaker 3 (59:35):
Where's your uniform?
Speaker 1 (59:38):
It's undergoing maintenance, is it not?
Speaker 2 (59:44):
There may be our uniforms back in maintenance HQ.
Speaker 3 (59:50):
Make it make a trickery check.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
I mean it was pretty good though it's got to be an
event.
Right, it's probably me, cuz IMean that's not bad.
It's not bad.
Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
Never heard that one before all right, whatever, just
keep it down.
Okay, no problem, We've got abig meeting going on in the
conference room.
Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
Oh, what are you?
Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
guys meeting about.
What's it to you?
No, I'm sculling him.
Waps you in the head, ah.
Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
Ah yeah, what are you asking questions like that?
Everybody's in the conferenceroom right now.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Riley Waps me in the head next.
Ah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
I guess now would be a good time to go through the
offices and fix any of the ductswhile they're all in that
meeting, right?
Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
Like I said, as long as you don't make any noise.
Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
Hey, no problem, no problem.
Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
We're gonna go rummaging through all the
executive offices.
Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 3 (01:00:59):
I don't, I don't got time for this.
Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
We don't got time for this.
Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
He goes walking off.
Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
See you at the softball game, then I run around
.
Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
Softball.
Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
Amazing.
This is perfect.
Let's dig around.
Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
Yeah, let's actually go through all the offices while
they're in the big meeting Seeif we can't find any of it.
Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
Okay, whose office?
There's Lord Orphang, there'sMadame Moe Wysinski, there's
Vice Punisher Destina Brink andthere's Kurg Nori, overseer of
Goblinoid Resources.
Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
I mean the GR guy, goblinoid Resources guy.
You don't think we should gothrough Lord Orphang's office?
We have his couplings.
I think we should.
Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
No, we got everything we need.
No, of course, lord Orphanglikes to do it.
Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Let's go into Lord Orphang's office.
Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
Alright, the other offices are not noticeably
locked.
They may be, but this one ispadlocked several times.
Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
You said there were ducts, though.
Right, maybe we can go throughthe ducts into this office.
Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
From another office we could see if maybe GR has the
key.
Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Yeah, they got keys to everything.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I havean ability that might make that
true.
Hold on, yeah, I'm going to usea quest point to redo a
worldwide check to make up afact about the culture of
Goblinoid Resources personnel.
(01:03:06):
They absolutely need to be ableto get into everything to do
their job right, and they willstop at nothing to obtain keys
in duplicate and triplicate justin case they lose their first
set of keys.
Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
I think you just love saying duplicate, triplicate
quadruplicate.
Yes quintuplicate.
Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
I want to see how far you go with that.
Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
I used my last quest point to bump that to a nine,
and then that's it.
Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
Alright, it's true, it's all true.
Oh, I'll fit.
Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Let's get some duplicate keys, triplicate keys.
Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
We should hold on these keys forever.
Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
Yeah, you never know what they're going to.
Unlock the Royal Order ofGoblinoid Resources Resource.
Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Goblinoid Resource 3.
Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
How is that a thing?
This is amazing.
I want that to be canon.
Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
Goblinoid Resource 3 is amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
I'm a Goblinoid Resource 3 by trade.
Speaker 3 (01:04:20):
I think we've come upon something amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
This is going to be the offshoot novella series that
I do in Lannabeam.
Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
All canon.
Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
We go into the GR office and rustle around for
keys.
Speaker 3 (01:04:39):
I'm going to make a search check.
Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
Riley, you're up.
I said Riley, Riley, riley,remember that time that you were
searching for food in my mom'shouse before it got burned down
and they all got killed?
You were just quiet as a mouse,but, man, you got like every
single piece of cheese out ofthat cupboard.
I did.
I ate a lot of cheese.
Yeah, do that again, but withkeys.
I inspire.
It works.
(01:05:02):
It's a nine, alright 10.
Nice.
Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
I do find the key, but I also am eating a hug of
cheese when I come back.
You want some?
Speaker 3 (01:05:16):
Yeah, yeah yeah At Kirk Norie's lunch bag.
Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
Kirk Norie's lunch bag.
Oh, the land of Eam.
Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
Yeah, you find three keys, Three different keys.
They're not triplicate, butthey open.
They're marked with Orphan.
Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
Oh, let's do it yeah let's do it While they're all in
that meeting.
Speaker 3 (01:05:47):
Yeah, alright, you open the doors, we do it.
The room is dark, it's darkinside.
It looks like there's cobwebs.
Speaker 2 (01:06:07):
It's a little dusty, very dusty, but it's definitely
a great functioning room.
Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
Right.
Speaker 3 (01:06:25):
Pulse the immediate desk and around it, but like the
walls and all the shelves arelike dusty Interesting.
There's cobwebs in the ceiling.
You also notice there's somelike waste in the garbage can,
(01:06:55):
like excrement.
There's actually a cell room.
There's like crumpled up piecesof paper and like an old
sandwich, like half eaten.
It doesn't look ancient, it'slike you know it's still good.
Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
While Gailen is eating the sandwich, I'll like
unwrap some of the papers andthey waste back to it and read
it and see if there's any cluesto what's going on.
Speaker 2 (01:07:21):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (01:07:24):
There's nothing.
It's like it looks like thedrawings of an adolescent.
What Like really?
Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
bad drawing.
It was once the wrapper for thesandwich and it's been doodled
up.
Speaker 3 (01:07:38):
Yeah, it's like a bunch of doodles.
There's like like SPL memos andjust like doodles all over the
margins.
Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
What the heck Can I go over to the dusty shelves and
find a book that's like aledger or anything like that?
Would you know?
Speaker 3 (01:07:54):
Well, yeah, there's actually just a wall, a giant
wall of file cabinets, behindthe desk.
Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
All right, I'm going to go to A for azimuth.
Speaker 3 (01:08:06):
Okay, make another search, check.
All right, here we go.
Oh, three, you do not.
You search through this filecabinet.
(01:08:30):
You actually do find azimuth,which is the plus, but there's
like so much information thatyou're just not able to pluck it
out quickly All right, I'll setaside everything on azimuth and
put it on the desk.
It's like a giant mound Likehuge yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:08:53):
I'll never be able to go through this to find any
evidence Like we got to findsomething else.
Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
I put it all in the Lucky Knappsack.
Speaker 3 (01:09:00):
Nice You'll need like four Lucky Knappsacks.
Speaker 2 (01:09:07):
Can you look around for like a safe or anything like
that?
Speaker 3 (01:09:13):
Sure, I do it.
Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Do you want me to make a search check?
Speaker 3 (01:09:19):
Yeah, it's a six.
You find a safe, but it'slocked.
Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
I pull out the cuff links and I use them to unlock
the safe.
I don't have any creativeskills left.
This is just me beingridiculous.
Speaker 1 (01:10:01):
I'm going to use a quest point and use eye for
clues and look on the walls,like behind the painting, to see
if there's like a secretcompartment.
Okay, come on Nine.
Come on baby.
Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
I love the good times , Ro Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:10:33):
Find a secret compartment behind the painting
of Lord Orphan.
It's a massive painting of adark helmeted Lord.
There's no like facial featuresor anything, Just a man in
(01:10:53):
armor or being in armor.
Some say he's a god.
Speaker 1 (01:11:01):
God with like funny doodles on wrappers.
When I look inside thecompartment and see if there's
like any kind of like ledger ordiary or something that Orphan
would have touched himself.
Speaker 3 (01:11:19):
You find the key to the safe.
Speaker 1 (01:11:22):
Oh, okay, let's open up the safe man.
Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
I've been sitting there with the cuff links trying
to unlock.
I turn around.
Oh okay, that makes more sense.
Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
I huff my bangs out of my eyes and like use the key.
Speaker 3 (01:11:48):
There are a few things in there.
One is a diary.
Okay, it seems to be writtenyears ago.
Speaker 2 (01:11:56):
It's like very precise cursive, unlike the
doodles.
Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
It says this belongs to Tim Orphan.
Speaker 1 (01:12:06):
Tim Orphan Tee.
Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
Tee.
Speaker 1 (01:12:10):
Oh, it's Tee Orphan, tim Orphan.
That's amazing.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
Some would call me Tim Tim Tim the Enchanter.
Speaker 3 (01:12:26):
As you sift through it it almost reads like the
diary of a madman, so obsessedwith power he writes out.
Half of it is just businessplans, just bullet points.
Speaker 2 (01:12:46):
Kill maim, torture.
Speaker 3 (01:12:51):
And you come across several entries where he's
talking about bringing downAsimuth Corporation, destroying
Hell Growth Mine.
And it's not only AsimuthCorporation, there's like all
these other companies probablynever even heard of.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:13:14):
Okay, interesting, I'm going to pocket the diary.
Speaker 2 (01:13:18):
Yeah, I'm going to get something else in the safe.
Speaker 3 (01:13:24):
I should say there's a magical item and we'll roll
for it, because I feel like he'sthe type of guy to keep a
magical item in there.
Speaker 2 (01:13:34):
Yeah, like gauntlets or something crazy or cuffs.
Speaker 3 (01:13:40):
Roll a D2 hundo.
Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
D2, hundo on it.
That's a 1, 2, 3.
Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
4, 5, 6.
Speaker 3 (01:13:57):
Roll again.
Speaker 2 (01:13:58):
No, it's a 191.
Okay, 191.
Speaker 3 (01:14:11):
Wow, there is a seed, a seed, a seed.
You pick it up and it feelslike there's swirling air around
it Interesting.
Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
Swirly air seed Make a lore check.
Nice Silverman lore check.
Speaker 1 (01:14:40):
Silverman lore.
Check Silverman lore check,that's a 6.
Speaker 3 (01:14:50):
You think you've heard of something like this.
It's called a seed ofhurricanes Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
Of course Lord Orphan would have in his safe a seed
of hurricanes.
Speaker 2 (01:15:04):
I love it.
Do I know whether or not oneshould plant it, or is it a
thrown thing?
That's all we got.
Speaker 3 (01:15:16):
With your success with a twist.
All you know is the name of it.
Speaker 2 (01:15:20):
It's okay.
What?
Speaker 3 (01:15:25):
a twist.
So, as you guys are justrooting around in here, the door
opens.
Speaker 1 (01:15:36):
Oh, I died behind the desk.
Speaker 2 (01:15:39):
We all died behind the desk.
Speaker 1 (01:15:41):
I'll grab Noggin.
Speaker 3 (01:15:44):
What?
And from behind the desk yousee a huge figure.
Looks like Lord Orphan himself.
Speaker 2 (01:15:58):
The mind of a child.
Speaker 3 (01:16:00):
He's looking down here, turns around, chests the
door, he flips on the lights andhe takes off not just his
helmet but his chest piece andhead piece and it's just like a
(01:16:26):
young kid, he's like 20something.
Speaker 2 (01:16:32):
Wait, he's 20 and he's doodling like a five year
old.
Speaker 3 (01:16:36):
Well, I mean, he's not like a five year old, it's
just like really soft morickstuff.
Speaker 2 (01:16:42):
Ah, yes.
Speaker 1 (01:16:44):
Prude.
Speaker 3 (01:16:46):
And he this obviously can't be Lord Orphan.
He's like pimply faced likeyoung.
Speaker 2 (01:16:56):
He's like how do we go?
Speaker 3 (01:16:58):
Any size and like puts down this what is
essentially like a mascotuniform.
Speaker 1 (01:17:10):
I'm gonna jump on the desk and say, ah.
Speaker 3 (01:17:17):
I think we're going to end it there.
Speaker 1 (01:17:23):
Oh man, tune in next week to see what happens.
This is wild.
I love it.
It's fun.
Speaker 3 (01:17:33):
All right, all right.
Speaker 2 (01:17:38):
Going to the Kailin.
There he is this is the kid.
What?
What are you doing in my office?
Oh, why?
Speaker 3 (01:17:54):
It's exactly what it is Awesome.
All right, everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:17:59):
Thanks for joining us .
Speaker 3 (01:18:02):
Shout out to Bernard.
Speaker 1 (01:18:03):
Shout out to Bernard and all of his luck.
Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
And all of our patrons on Patreon.
Speaker 1 (01:18:08):
Yeah, thanks so much.
Good times, good times.
We'll be back next week and ifyou haven't checked it out on
Twitch, occasionally on the web,you can check it out on the web
.
And then on Mondays, george Benand I have been hanging out
playing World of WarcraftClassic.
Speaker 3 (01:18:29):
The hardcore is three dwarves and it's been pretty
fun, it's nothing crazy, we'rejust hanging out, and if you
want to chime in and join us,yeah, just check out the Twitch
channel in general, like we'reall like sort of gaming every
now and then.
Speaker 1 (01:18:46):
Yeah, and we'll be back next week with a new video
too, so you can check that out.
But yeah, thanks again forjoining us and we'll see you
next Saturday for the excitingconclusion.
Speaker 2 (01:18:56):
I mean maybe.
Speaker 1 (01:18:59):
Yeah or death.
Yeah, or death, which is that'swhat I always pray for, is it?
There's a decent likelihoodthat at some point, we're not
going to be able to weasel allthe way out of something?
Speaker 3 (01:19:11):
All right.
Speaker 2 (01:19:13):
Thanks everybody.
Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
Bye guys.
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