Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S01E17 | Saving the Last Tree - Land of Eem: Actual Play

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hey, I have one thing that I can do with this camera.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
And it never ceases to bring me joy.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
All right, so we're here for the 17th session of
Land of Eem RPG.
This is our game that we madebased on the world of Rikety,
stitch and yeah, it's classic.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
You can actually download it for free if you
check out the description of theYouTube, where this is
streaming in few places actually, but YouTube has got the link
for sure.
And yeah, welcome.
I'm excited because we had acliffhanger last time and I'm
ready for adventure.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
Yeah, we got Bernard here.
He's doing good he's given hisluck Got Tee Guskin, and so
let's pick up the.
Yeah, there was a cliffhangerlast time.
You guys infiltrated SPLheadquarters, sub-training pits
and layers.
You know the place where RiketyStitch and the goo left at the

(01:15):
beginning of book one.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
I know it's like some crossover moment here.
That's kind of fun.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
And you made it all the way back into the restricted
area where all the you knowhigh ranking officials and you
know like, yeah, like Madame Mobwas in Ski's office back here.
But you broke into the LordOrphong's office the founder of
sub-training pits and layers andyou're digging through his
files, you're trying to look foryou know evidence that he was

(01:45):
involved with destroyingHellgrowth Mine.
You have Old Noggin there, whoyou know gave you this quest,
the old man who doesn't rememberanything.
So when you got in there youwere looking around and then
someone came into the officedressed as Lord Orphong, but he

(02:12):
proceeded to take off like whatlooked basically like a mascot
head because it was so large andkind of like the costume went
up to his head.
So like it's like a headextension to make it look taller
.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Extra, extra tough high school mascot.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
And the guy in the suit is actually just like a
skinny, pimply boggertDefinitely not an old man or
someone who's lived a hundredyears as Lord Orphong Like he's
been around for that long.
So definitely not Lord Orphong.
And I think Riley jumped on thetable and said ah ha, I did.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
It was trying to use my ideals.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Oh no, Destroy something indiscriminately.
Yeah, I just break the desk inhalf.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, my ideals.
Volunteer to go ahead and pushthe danger I was just trying to
trying to amplify the.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Am I coming in choppy ?

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, you were a little touch and go there for a
second, but it's smoothing outAnyone?

Speaker 2 (03:31):
remember the band Touch and Go.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
I remember the song Touch and Go the cars and and oh
, it was awesome Wow.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
Sorry.
Well, I don't know what to say.
I don't know what got through,what did?

Speaker 2 (03:49):
No, no, we heard it all the way.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
The audio and the visual was whatever.
So you looked like, hey, what'sgoing on?

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Good times Off to a great stock.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
It's going to be fun Fantastic.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
But, galen, I assume you're you're under the desk
still with old noggin who issearching through these papers,
still not really payingattention to what is just
happening, and he's readingthrough some old, you know
azimuth corporation stuff and hestops on something and he's,

(04:32):
and he's repeating to himselflumpley pender goose, lumpley
pender goose, pender goose,pender goose.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
That's me, you, you're lumpley pender goose.
I kind of shake them a littlebit.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
And you see, on the paper it says azimuth
corporation CEO lump Well oh,noggin, you had in y'all All
right.
So back to this guy who'scoming, he locks the doors and

(05:10):
he says yeah, what are you doinghere?

Speaker 1 (05:15):
What are you doing?

Speaker 3 (05:15):
here.
You're not a lawyer, for fun.
I'm calling security.
What?
Okay, listen, let's not, let'snot get out of hand here.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Okay, I'm going to give you a little bit of the
idea that Riley is intimidatingthis guy just by like her.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
I can let your secret get out.
I've got leverage for the firsttime in the history of this
game.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
I don't know who you guys are, but maybe we could
work something out here.
This, this can't leave thisroom, okay.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
So what's the deal?
Like you, just you're faking itLike where's Lord Orphan?
What's going on?
Could you keep it down?

Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah, look, I don't know the whole story behind it,
this is just a job.
Okay, lord Orphan, you knowhe's not here.
What can I say?
He hasn't been here for years,what?

Speaker 2 (06:15):
You hear from under the desk what there's more you
putting.
I try to stand up and, like you, just hear a loud thump under
the desk and I say, hey, riley,riley, guess you.
This is who this guy's lumpypender goose, was it pender
goose?
Yeah, lumply pender, the CEO ofof, of, of Azimuth.

(06:36):
You're kidding me?

Speaker 1 (06:38):
No, not at a time like this Um, we'll get up here.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Check this out.
I hit my head on the undersideof the desk again before I get
up there and check it out.
And then, as I put it on thedesk, I'm like, oh, I'm going to
get up there and check it out.
And then, as I pop out, I seethis like kind of scrawny guy in
the suit and I go, aha, Look,look, was it.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
He just pays me to.
You know kind of keep upappearances when it gets out
that.
You know you saw my face, I'mdead.
Let's work out a deal here.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
Okay, okay.
Well, we got a deal for you.
And here's the CEO of theAzimuth corporation, who we have
evidence was sabotaged by yourstruly I guess not yours truly,
the real Lord R Fong andsubterranean pits and layers,
and we want to make amends orwe're telling the world.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Your day, little secret.
Making, it making a Don't rollit yet.
Don't roll it yet, I'm going tobury you, I'm just gonna.
I'm just trying to prevent theautomatic.
I'm going to fail.
Well, let me at least try Ijust kind of stand menacingly

(08:02):
over this guy To add some oomphto Riley's role.
But let me inspire Riley.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
I just kind of like give her a pat on the back Just
in the side.
Something that's really funnyis that Riley is actually minus
one intimidate but has chargehead.
It's kind of fun to know thatit's never gonna work.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
I don't help you at all with this.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
All right, I'm sorry All right, I assume it's
intimidate, or Intimidate.
Yeah, all right here we go.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
I believe in you.
That's a six, it's yeah, I meanyou know.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
All right, I'm.
He says all right, All right,you made your point, you know
how about?
Some cash.
Look, I don't know who you arebut if we're dealing with

(08:58):
Azimuth.
You know I've heard stories.
You know, you kind of.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
What stories.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
What do you hear about Azimuth?
You know he's rumors.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, what kind of rumors.
What kind of rumors?
Yeah, it's like tough talk thisguy.
Yeah, what kind of rumors.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
You know that we we destroyed him outright.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
Like he's laughing about it awkwardly and we just I
mean there's a lot of.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
There's a big grave right on the wake of Lord Orphan
.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
I'm sorry.
Do you see a big, grave, grave,okay.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's horrifying.
I'm glad it's not the realOrphan we've doomed.
Okay, well, what?

Speaker 3 (09:55):
kind of cash are you talking?
Look, mr Pendergoose, what thisis a 40 million golds on the
view.
40 million.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Riley, calm down.
Riley, breathe, breathe,breathe.
I mean it sounds good, but areyou just asking us about how
that sounds in general, or areyou offering that?

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Yeah, I'm just asking you how it sounds.
I have no authority to actually.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah, okay, I just had a feeling.
I mean, it does sound nice.
I appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Well, maybe we should go find someone with some
authority Like I like make forthe door.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Both of us are trying to stop Riley, Sorry head first
.
Head first no, no, no, not thistime.
I pick up Riley by her scruffand I like put her down and I
turn it around so she just keepsmarching into the back.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
I'm like I'm swinging in the air like a cartoon.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
All right, what's?
What's a sum, mr Pendergoose,that is going to appease you?
You know, without being, youknow, completely obvious, that
I'm cutting you a check, yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Wait.
So you have the authority tocut a check, OK, so, oh, sorry
my team, that's really funny soyou have the authority to cut.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
I'm just trying Look this is.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
He's just looking at the outfit, like asking a high
school mascot to coach thefootball team.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
He's like what I'm saying is can we do this, you
know, under the radar, so tospeak, discreetly.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
See.
What we need is information andrecords.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
About what.
I mean, I feel actuallysomething we do want to know is
like are you guys trying to takeout the last tree in the used
to be forest?

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
You guys are killing me uh.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Not yet we aren't Well.

Speaker 3 (12:10):
I'm only saying this because you know my boss
Wuzinski.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Wuzinski run everything.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
Well, you know just about, but there are, you know
some.
Uh, this year vote is.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
It's pretty hard when you have such a big helmet like
that.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
I mean, what are you?
A seven foot two?
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (12:59):
I hate when people go over my helmet.
Wow, yes, yes baseballpreference.
It was more like around yourhelmet.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
I've never happened again, sir.
Wow, kudos for that, thank you,thank you.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
I said it first.
No, I'm sorry, man.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
But I just didn't make it obvious enough he didn't
enunciate in a way that my earcaught it.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
Is the key and peel scapulating what happened.
George.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
Hi, I'm Scott.
George got all of my love andinformation.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
I mean just to go on a tangent.
I really identify with that keyand peel scapulation.
That happened so much in school.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
That was my school for me entirely.
It was all the time I'd whispersomething funny to my friend.
Then someone else would repeatit and I'm like come on.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
Stealing your jokes, man.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
All right, that's rewind.
Yeah, you got to.
I mean, how did they go?

Speaker 3 (14:01):
over, get out of our systems.
Old noggin says what, oh what'sa good price?
Guys, I think we got them.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
I mean, I'm pretty sure I'll find the scrunchers.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
How?
40 million gold.
That's more money than actuallyexists in all of the world.
I think so like I don't know,maybe like 10,000.
No, I'm a million.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Do you want to be bought off for your silence or
do you want justice?

Speaker 3 (14:39):
I want cash yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
All right Okay.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
I'm emaciated.
I haven't had a haircut in 10years.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
I immediately cut his hair for him.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Everything stops.
George cuts his hair.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah, just gone.
He says a little.

Speaker 3 (14:59):
Sir, we'll take a million gold, we'll all take it.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Wait, wait and and.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
He's got his piece of operations on the last tree.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
Yeah, I want you to put in like some sort of a work
order that cancels the last treegetting cut down.
Yeah, read it, read it.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
What do you think I am?

Speaker 1 (15:20):
No, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no no no, no no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, no.
Well, clearly only you can getthe paperwork and clearly only
we can't.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, no, no.
You march out there, you go toyour resourcerer, your goblin
resourcerer.
You get the paperwork for thelast tree project.

Speaker 3 (15:39):
If was in season you bring it back.
You'll know something's up.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
You have no cloud here.
Can't you call the goblinresourcerer to have him bring in
the paperwork to your office?

Speaker 3 (15:51):
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, I'm putting two and twotogether here, okay?

Speaker 2 (15:57):
I'm sorry what.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
Wiesinski has a beef with Brink.
This is Brink's baby, so doesBrink.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
Oh, interesting, interesting.
So I'm going to actually comeup the works, as it were.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
Look, I'm going to need your help.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
We're going to need your help.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
All right, but first of all, galen, you got to get in
the Orphan suit.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
It's like a real quick montage of me squeezing
into the Orphan suit going.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Pulling the suspenders over each other.
All right, let's do some damagenow, now before me.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
I'm going to lose my job over this.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
What's his name?
Did we even ask him his name?
It's got to be like Kerm orsomething.
It's like.
My name is Elmo.
Tim is Orphan's name.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Well, they just sent out a casting call to the rest
of the kingdom for all Tims yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
You got to be a Tim yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
No, did you say your name was Elmo?

Speaker 3 (17:14):
I did.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
It's a family name.
Oh Well, you don't worry, Elmo.
It's going to work.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
Look, they're in a meeting right now talking about
big project.
It's not just the last tree,she's putting together a whole
initiative to take down thegrimly wood.
Okay, well, yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
To the west over on the border of Drippy Downs.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
Exactly yeah, yeah, so she wants to expand the
wiring operations?

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Oh, interesting.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
Well, they need more lumber to supply all the tunnels
Tunneling all throughout theworld.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
What are you guys hoping, what are they trying to
achieve in these tunnels?
Are they just like looking forprecious gemstones, or are they
just like making pits and layers?

Speaker 3 (18:19):
I mean all of the above.
They're trying to make a wholenew world like a whole explored
underlands.
You know, because some say thatonly 90, I mean only 10% of the
other ones have been explored.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yeah, but there is a better way they could do this.
They could pay our tolls at thecrack and we could organize
some sort of corporate discountif you use the crack exclusively
for all of the ventures.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
He is trying to negotiate a business deal we
want 40%.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
There's actually a proposition to close up the
crack.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
What we need to gum up the works man, we need to
just destroy this company.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
How much dynamite do you have, riley?

Speaker 1 (19:07):
I have no dynamite.
I used it in the crack mesh.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Getting that cotton candy left.
Let's give them all foodpoisoning.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
We can go to Crogland , get like a pallet.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
We should have just let the werewolf in.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
I forgot, a werewolf chased us in here.
Well, aside from it, it wouldhave stopped some pits and
layers, but we also would bedead.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, well, okay, so we got a couple of things going
on.
They need wood and lumber tosupply tunnels because they're
digging throughout.
They also want to close off thecrack, which is bad for our
whole dunk.
We could file an injunction indunk to preserve the crack as a
historic monument.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah, we could maybe that's a different story.
Elmo is Lord Orphan.
Is the fake Lord Orphanexpected to be attending this
meeting in any way, or do youhave any power whatsoever?

Speaker 3 (20:09):
I was in there, but I was getting hot in the suit.
Okay, I'm supposed to head backin there.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Who else knows that you're Elmo and not Orphan?

Speaker 3 (20:21):
It's just Wazinski.
Oh, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
I say, Elmo, how do you do the voice for Orphan when
you talk?

Speaker 3 (20:32):
Well, there's like a voice modulator.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Riley, you should get in the helmet.
You should get in the helmet.
Like on your shoulders, no likeon his shoulders, and then you
should go in there and justrenegotiate the thing, or you
could be on my shoulders.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
That would be amazing too, yeah no matter what we're
going into that room, it's not100% chance that we're going to
cause some chaos.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
Look, it's not as easy to see as you think.
Half the time I'm justconcentrating on bumping into
the ceilings All right.
There's some low hangingraffers Okay.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Let's do the two kids in a trench coat routine.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, that's going to be the first one.
It's 100% going to be that.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
And maybe and this is old because only Wazinski knows
like maybe we could bringNoggin in to the meeting.
This is bold.
Orphan can confirm that likeNoggin has brought it to his
attention that he has beenwronged and he'd like to pay him
a million gold.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
I just feel like people with the names Vice
Punisher and Destina Brank arejust going to say, well, let's
just kill him and be done withit.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
I don't know he's going to be like what, what's?

Speaker 1 (21:53):
going on, I'm old Noggin.
If only Wazinski knows it,getting out is a big deal, so we
could even potentially put herfeet under the fire, because
everyone in the company that'snot in that room will do
anything that we say.
That's fair, that's fair.
Maybe we could go like get thework orders all screwed up so

(22:15):
the last tree is like off thetable, like I don't know.
This is a unique opportunity.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah, well, we need.
There's two ways this could go.
We team up with Wazinski todestroy this.
Brinks, baby Brinks, plan totake down the Grimly Wood, or we
just take over the company forthe rest of our lives as Lord
Orphan.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
That's all right.
Well, let's go.

Speaker 3 (22:47):
Let me remind you about one thing Wazinski knows
that Orphan is not here.
She's going to know.
Something's up when you startparking orders.

Speaker 2 (23:05):
Yeah, well then what we do is we do Wazinski my
office now and then we pull herinto the office, we clue her in
on everything.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
Oh god, I'm dead.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
I mean, you're fine, we're definitely dead.
I mean I'm going to have toleave.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
I'm going to have to, like you know, get a new name
move to.
Scalaway Extrand.
Join our party.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Join our party.
It's fine.
You can become one of us.
We have great dental employees.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Yeah, and we've got a huge business venture going on
in the crack.
We're building a bridge over it.

Speaker 3 (23:40):
Yeah, plenty of work, we've got to fill in it up.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
No, not if we have anything, not if we have.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
You know how many disputes like come from the
crack and like a trickle down,you know, and SPL has to deal
with the lefto.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
How many disputes come from Orphan?
Maybe we could.
Maybe if we oh gosh, look.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
I say we just throw Dastyna.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
Brink under the bus.
We like alert Wuzinski and makea deal with her to not go after
the crack.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
Alert Wuzinski about what?

Speaker 1 (24:20):
Dastyna Brink like trying to take over stuff and
doing her own projects.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
I thought that it was just like.
Is it, we ask Elmo, is itcommon knowledge that this is
Brink's plan or is she?
Is this kind of like asubterfugee scheme that she's
running behind Wuzinski's back?

Speaker 3 (24:41):
I mean, she's trying to get it, you know, ratified if
you will.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
I look at Riley and I say, is this because she's a
rat?
What are you trying to say?

Speaker 3 (24:57):
No, no, I don't even know what the word means.
That's just what they throwaround in the office.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
So it's not actually official.
This is just her current plan.
She's trying to railroadthrough.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
All right.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Look subterranean pits and layers like normally
Orphan.
Orphan is like out on business.
I'm not always walking aroundin this suit.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
Mm, hmm.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
You know I don't, I feel weird.
I feel weird saying I, okay, Idon't hold that much sway, I
don't know what to say.
You might think you know, I'mright.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
It's like there's like a board now.
All right, so what if?
What if, like, we roll into theroom as Orphan and like knowing
that Wuzinski knows that we'renot Orphan and we make some like
offhand comment about theseprojects that we got to cut our
costs.
Yeah, that we were not supposedto know and we make it like we
overheard or talking about it.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
I'm glad you're extra inspiration If you can finagle
that.
Oh man, I can't help you.
I'm going to be, like,hopefully, piloting mech armor.
We're a mobile weapons platform.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Listen, I think I'm going to.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
I'm going to book it, hey you said there was a
werewolf outside.
You might want to leave throughthe back.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
I'm going to leave the back.
Wait for us at the crack We'lltake care of it.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
I don't know Hang out with Sven.
He's always yeah, Ask for aspin.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Tell him you you love yodeling, and their buddies
sent them back here and we're,we're doing their, they're doing
their best and we'll we'll makesure you get taken care of.

Speaker 3 (26:54):
It's just a normal day, you know.
I woke up thinking on the suit.
Just get through the, just getthrough the meeting.
That's all you got to do.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, that's great, I put the helmet on.
I'm already in the suit, likewe're fumbling with the lock in
the handle of the door.

Speaker 2 (27:13):
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, noggin Noggin, help us out
with this.

Speaker 3 (27:17):
Oh yeah, oh, now you're looking a little wobbly.
Whoa whoa, whoa.
What do you want me to do?

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Should he just come with us?

Speaker 2 (27:31):
As our seeing eye, old man or something.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
I'm wondering if we should just if he should just
come with us or like wait inthis office.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
I feel like waiting in the office is safer.
Maybe we?

Speaker 1 (27:46):
could dude.
Maybe we can just like forcewas inskated.
Come talk to us because she hasto do it in front of rank, but
then she can lay into us whenshe gets to the office.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
Yeah, we can unpearl everything in front of rank,
that's.
That's what I figure is.
We're going to lure was in skinto the office at some point and
then strike a deal with her,because that's super easy.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
All right, I'll tell her that she's gotten immediate.
She's, like, got to come to me.
We have a meeting with the CEOof the Asimov corporation.
Okay, whatever you want, allright, let's, let's try it.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
Get it going, get this plan in motion.
I'll back you.

Speaker 3 (28:29):
Okay, you kind of stumble out of the door.
Wow, make your way to theoffice.
It's like hard to see, it'slike you know yeah, I'm like.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
I'm like.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
I'm like, every time we bump something I just smash
it, because I assume that's whatLord Orphan would do, cause
it's in his way.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
Make a nimbleness check as you enter the
conference room.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
Okay, wait me, or Riley, or both Galen.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah, I'm just on your shoulder, yep.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
You might have to re-roll this way.
Oh, it's a six.
All right, that's not the worst.
Maybe we like, maybe we bumpour head on like the rafter as
we kind of come in or something.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
Yeah, but we don't like topple over Everyone like
yeah, everyone stares at you andis quiet, but then like they
turn back to uh what they weredoing the presentation and um
Hardpoint presentation.
Uh, you see, um just a whole, acircular table.

(29:46):
It's like the empire, it's likeon the.
Death Star.
And, uh, at the head of thetable is Madam Moff Wusinski,
who's a short little goblin,with you know, like a beehive
piled haircut.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Great games.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
She's looking, uh, turb board, um, because there is
a woman giving a presentation.
Uh, you presume is vicepunisher Dostina Brink.
She is, uh, also a goblin.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
I just assumed vice punisher and Dostina Brink were
two separate people.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
That's her title that's her corporate title and
um, she's like going through thelogistics of you see, like
giant, um like saws and blades,like prototypes and all this

(30:52):
stuff.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
So it looked like the stuff we found in the diary in
um the old mine.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
Oh right, we found like schematics in the old mine.
Yeah, For big machines Um.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
This is something different.
This is um oh, it's like forthe clear cutting yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
Okay, All right Uh.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
She talents her to a duel.
I'm like whispering to him inthe suit, Like I'm not going to
do that, but the vocoder picksit up and it's like I'm not
going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
No, it doesn't.
We don't do that.
Um, go on.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
Okay, I'm going to slam my fist on the table.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
Well, no, I'll slam the oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:45):
Slam your fist on the table.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Right or left, right or left Doesn't matter Both.
Both just lined down on table,and then I just point, waiting
for rally to speak, wasinski wehave.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
We have a visitor, something that vexes me.
I slammed the table again, youmeet me in your office and
they're like just go, go, go, go, just go, don't even say
anything.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
We get up, we just turn around.
So she has to do it.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Yeah, wasinski is like speechless.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
Tell, tell, tell the plan Yield at this clear cutting
is BS.
Say you don't like it.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
This clear cutting plan sucks, and then I'll slap
the door.
Slam the door.
We're going to get out of here.
Go to the office.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
I got to make.
I got to make a check to slamthe door.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
Make a check just to get to the office.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
If it off its hinges.

Speaker 2 (32:44):
You want a nimbleness check, or yeah, yeah, okay, but
what about the slamming thedoor?
Can have you in one.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Oh, it's a four.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Can you you trip?

Speaker 3 (32:59):
No, no, no no.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
I can lend a hand.
This is a pretty big one I likegrabbing by his nostrils, like
this and like pull him up.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
It's just like the worst version of ratatouille.
No, no.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
No.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
How could it be you fall.
The plus is like the helmetdoesn't come off or anything
You're like, still intact.
But we, like, we went over andwe point down when silence
You're out.
You're out of view.
This is in the hallway.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
Okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
All right, it's been.
Ski like Comes up to you in thehallway and she says the hell
are you doing?
Make me look like a fool, likethat.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
We get up and we keep walking.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
Anyone else in the hallway?
No Shit.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
I was like going to yell at everyone else like meet
me.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
We should just storm to the office.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
We have to talk now.
It's important what.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
You, you're going to be fired.
That's my prediction.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Get into the office, yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
We get into the office.
Get into the office.
He's coming to the office, allright.
He says good morning afterwards.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Yeah, we go to the office.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
The water cooler is left and right, because this,
this hallway, is basically afire hazard.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
The fire.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah, it's like.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
this is a lot of planters and everything you know
wheelbarrows for some reason, amale guy left the cart out of
it.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
First of all, I'm not Elmo.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
She starts backing away.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
Can I move between her and the door?
Sure, as Riley springs off myshoulders onto the desk.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah, I'll jump onto the desk and be like look, you
know.
No reason to be scared, but weknow what's up and we've got to
talk.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
Hold on, I'll get into the corner.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
What pulls out a telescoping right?

Speaker 1 (35:26):
Hold on, Hold on Look this is not about Orphan.
Yeah, we know the secret.
And this is not about the CEOof the Asimov Corporation we
standing right there yeah, wefound his cuff links.
We know about Tim.
This is about Destina Brink.

(35:50):
We've got an good authority.
She's trying to take oversubterranean pits and layers and
we want what we want and youwant what you want.
We want to come to a deal andhelp each other.
What?

Speaker 2 (36:01):
she said You're going to need to make some sort of
check.
Yeah With what she said I'mmaking.
That's my inspiration, likeback in Riley's play on a
percent.
I don't do it.

(36:21):
God, I cannot roll to save mylife today.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
We need some rolls right now.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Bernard, even still in shaft.
Is this charm or?

Speaker 1 (36:29):
inspire.

Speaker 3 (36:33):
I would say inspire, oh my gosh, this dice roll is
broken.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Can I roll a real dice?

Speaker 3 (36:47):
Three your total.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Don't say it's so condescending.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
Is three.
Is this true?
Yes, the three is my total.
I did not succeed.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
She kills us with Trident.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Yeah, she pushes the Trident right up to your throat.
She says do you know who I am?
Is that any way to speak to thechief execution officer of
subterranean pits and layers?

Speaker 2 (37:18):
Oh, that's what the E is for.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
Bernard says he's still here.
Thank God, he's still here.
We need him now.
This is the moment Bernard hasmade himself known.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
Help us Bernard, your only hope.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Yes, I mean, I don't know you personally, but let's
not get crazy here, let's justtalk this through.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
You're way in over your heads.
This is how this is going to go.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
It's all good, bernard.
We appreciate your help anyway.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
We're backed up to a wall here.
The whole plan has failed.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
You are going to leave subterranean pits and
layers forever.
I forget this whole businessever happened, got it?

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Okay, so leaves up during the invits and layers
forever.
Forget this whole business hashappened and don't tell you
anything about Justina Brinktrying to take you out.
Got it?
No problem, we'll head out thedoor right now.

Speaker 3 (38:28):
Where's Elmo?

Speaker 1 (38:31):
Elmo's safe.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
You'll never find him .

Speaker 1 (38:39):
Elmo, he was always loyal to you, but he was afraid.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
Yes, if he was loyal, wouldn't have come to this.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Well, you know we're kind of awesome, so he was
freaked out when we caught him.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Yeah, I went, she went aha and I went aha and he
was like what about my money?

Speaker 1 (39:08):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:11):
So I was promised one million gold.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
I say okay.
I say, how about this?
Um Wozinski, what is it,besides us leaving the office,
that you want, within thiscompany, to happen?
There's got to be something youwant to know, something that
would help you take control andget Justina Brink out of the
picture.
How do?

Speaker 3 (39:33):
you know, we know, I told you.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Elmo is loyal to you.
He's just too afraid.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
To back your play.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
And you always go.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
I'm proposing that, okay, I'm proposing this, and
I'm very, very hesitant to wastethis on her, but I pull out the
egg of insight.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Oh, interesting, interesting.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
And I say I'm proposing this.
I don't think you're pure ofheart enough to use this, but I
know that I am.
You can ask any question andI'll ask it for you and with my
pure heart.
We'll get that answer.
But in order to maintain thepurity of my heart, we have to

(40:25):
do this for a greater purpose,like saving the great tree, or
perhaps not sealing the crack,or both.
Bringing justice to NogginJustice, to Noggin also Million,
million gold.
That's all it's going to takefor him.
But there's got to be something.
You want to know, maybe whatkind of dirt you can dig up on

(40:49):
Destina with this egg.
How does that sound, old lady?

Speaker 3 (40:58):
You're saying it, might my intentions have to be
pure?

Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, you must be pure of heart and mind to get a
correct answer.
If you think you can do it onyour own, that's fine.
Simply trade us for the egg andgive us what we want, and we'll
conclude our business.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
Look, I have no misconceptions about myself.
I care about money and power.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
That's pure in its own way.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
Pure evil.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
I also love this company.
We'll die for it.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
It sounds like this vice-punisher whatever her name
is is undercutting the veryfoundation of this company, what
it stands for.
We understand what you'resaying, wuzinski.
We want to help you, but youhave to help us, and it begins
with getting vice-punisher outof the picture.
So either take the egg and giveus what we want, or work with

(42:01):
us.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
I'll take the egg.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
And give us what you want.
Fine, okay.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
Why did you acquire such an item?

Speaker 2 (42:16):
Because we are good of heart and good of inventors.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
I don't exactly remember, but it was really
dangerous.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Yeah, there was probably some kind of phoenix
and I think it burned and therewere ashes and there was an egg,
I don't remember.

Speaker 3 (42:35):
You want your money.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
He wants his money.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
That's restitution, yeah but let's make this a
better deal for her, though.
Let's say that this money isalso a buyout, and she'll get
all the rights to the azimuthmine.
So she's going to buy him out,he's going to get his
reparations, all is going to bewell.
We could even give her theschematics, so that she's got
some leverage against Destiny ofWrink.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
And the cuff links, so that there's no proof of what
happened.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
She looks even better in her purple suit.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
Do you guys remember the name of the artist or the
engineer of?

Speaker 2 (43:16):
these schmacks Good, call the task master.
Done Dune Old Noggin, galvinMine, official Paperwork City,
and Dunk Sabotage by SPL.
Regal Mundupel Okay, regalMundupel's sketchbook oh my gosh
, is she a Mundupel or something?
That's her father.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
No, no, no.
She says oh, regal Mundupel.
Yeah, this is.
She tosses it on her desk, onthe desk she's in prison here.
Well, thank you, this is quitevaluable oh no, you don't need

(43:56):
him anymore.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Then yeah, we'll take him too.

Speaker 3 (44:02):
No, no, no stay where he is.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
We try, but we need to talk about this clear cutting
plan in the Grimlywood and thelast tree.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
Yes, just don't.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
It's not good for any of us.

Speaker 3 (44:21):
Especially me.
Okay, If, if Brank pulls thisoff, you know it'll really
undercut my authority.
I'm afraid there might be acoup.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
Hmm, Pretty uncoup.
So we have a deal then.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
Yeah, and take Elmo back, because he meant well.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
If he wants to come back.
Elmo's been eaten by a werewolfhalfway to the crack.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Oh yeah, there's a werewolf outside, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (44:56):
I cannot take Elmo back, that's fine.
We needed some guy to help.
He had one job.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
And we ruined it for him, we ruined it.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
We'll get him a job at the crack.
I admire your gumption.
We appreciate that.
We appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
I mean, you know we, we went out of the limb.
Here there's a big one.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Maybe we're great businessmen too.
I don't know, I'm just a goodbusiness person.

Speaker 3 (45:32):
Sorry really, and Madam Puzinski and Madam, this
egg of insight will go a longway in helping me take her down.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
All right.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
Well, I'm so.
Let's lay it out real quick.
We're trading the egg ofinsight gold and getting all
this stuff in return.
What else is happening with thetree?

Speaker 1 (46:02):
She doesn't seem to be interested in going after the
trees.
That's like destiny.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
She basically gives insight or take down destiny.
Yeah, which we'll stop.
That's what we say of the tree.

Speaker 3 (46:12):
Yeah, all right, there is something you can do,
okay, I put the helmet back onyou really care about this tree
business.
We do.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
We do.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
Stop that.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Stop.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
Sorry.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
We do, we do Do-do, even the game of sabotage,
perhaps.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Sabotage.
Eh, I mean, there are a coupleof saboteurs.
Hey, we can do it.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
Million gold.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
Yes, we'll take you all the way to the top.
This will take you all the wayto log jam.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
Whoa, oh, that's the other direction, isn't it?

Speaker 3 (46:59):
As long as it gets done in the next two months.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
Okay, yeah, no, perfect, yeah Is there a water.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
I wonder if we could take rivers.
I guess we could sail there.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
Sorry, let me just take some notes real quick.
I'm going to mute so you don'thear my clack, clack, clack.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
I love this clack, clack, clack.
It sounds like progress, youknow what I mean.
No, taking what's the gig?
Destroy all the supplies.
Destroy all the supplies at logjam.
What are these?
Oh, okay, to fund her operation.
I'm going to go ahead and dothat.

(47:41):

Speaker 3 (47:45):
I'm going to go ahead and do that.
Okay, I'm going to go ahead anddo that.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
I'm going to go ahead and do that, but you know,
operation Building the clearcutting machines Likes of which
have never been seen.

Speaker 2 (48:03):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
Okay, cool, this is a real quick.
Life is a typical welcome tothe stream.
We're so glad.
Oh yeah, welcome, okay, cool,well, yeah, we'll totally do
that gig in log jam Two monthsto do it.

Speaker 3 (48:24):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
Okay, good, that's just enough time for us to stop
this our path.
You threat go to dunk A lot ofstuff we got in our plate.
I mean, we're gonna go take avacation in scallyway strand and
that's off the table.
These snake people are out ofcontrol.
Never heard of some guy namedcrazy Ernie?

(48:48):
Of course I have we.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, he's been captured bythese people.
How about them apples?

Speaker 3 (49:00):
Where'd you hear that ?

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Well, funny story.
We were in his mansion.
I can't remember what episodethat was, but I suggest the shoe
goes back and watches it.
Brian defined him in Marshgate,fourth wall broken.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
Oh yeah, Marshgate did you talk?
Taskmaster Dundoon.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
Yeah, that guy is pretty stupid.

Speaker 1 (49:25):
Well, he's dead.
There you go.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
I'll send a replacement.
I say he couldn't negotiatewith you, with us?
I say, yeah, we are trying torescue Crazy Ernie as one of our
many, many tasks.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
I suspect Vera is paying you then she did have the
handsome offer.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Yeah, she's in legs, yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
I mean, you're a businesswoman, you know person,
I'll throw in some gold for youIf you bring back Crazy Ernie
for SPL.
Okay, we can think about that.
We'll see what Crazy Erniewants to do.
First, he's Crazy Ernie.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
That's not how I do business.
You make a commitment now inthis deal, before you walk out
that door.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
Well, what's in it for Crazy Ernie?
Because you know he's a famoustrap maker.

Speaker 3 (50:37):
What's in it for him?
It's work, constant work,toilet.
As we speak, we're expandingacross the underlands.
True.
That's true, I'm my bestworkers already under Grimly
Wood, making their way intoMurbill-Tord Marsh.

(50:59):
I'm set to join them.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
I'm set to join them in book three Stay tuned April
27th.
That's too funny.
Okay, we'll pitch Crazy Ernieand see if he wants to join SPL.
I don't see why not.

Speaker 3 (51:28):
I think we've gone five pouches of gold each for
you.
Done you complete this.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Done, done.
That's the most money we'veever seen.
I say that out loud and thencover my mouth.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
I mean cool.
I was willing to go up to 20,but there you go.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
Wiley Wiley, I'm sorry, I got excited Tired
eating tube steaks.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Is that the right tube steaks.

Speaker 3 (52:01):
I'll get out of my office.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
Do you have another exit?
Because we weren't kidding,there is a werewolf outside.
I put the helmet back on.
I say I'll be taking this.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
I'll be taking this.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
She just takes her trident, threatens you with it.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
Fine, get it off.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
All of it.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
You got any treasure hordes around here.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
Oh yeah, there are tons, but I wouldn't recommend
trying to get them.
It's all bait.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
It's all bait.
Oh, that's classic, that's bait, all right All right.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
So I spit on my hand and reach out to shake
Wazinski's hand, because I thinkthat's how people I think
that's how real people dobusiness.
I have no concept of howbusiness works.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
Wiley has even less concept and just does it too.
She just follows suit.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Yeah, it's like a weird awkward like three way
handshake or something.
Meanwhile old Noggin's in thecorner reading books.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
I forgot Elma wasn't here.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
You have to find a new Orphan.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Well, we can't even tell.

Speaker 3 (53:20):
Brown AD about this.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
We can definitely walk out of here in the suit
like he's going on a businesstrip and we can ditch it
somewhere that you can retrieveit Maybe.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
Hey, Noggin, you want a job?
What?

Speaker 3 (53:39):
What do I got to do?
Let's finish this out the rightway.
Come back into the office.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
Now that we're leaving.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Want me to slam on the desk again?

Speaker 3 (53:52):
We're going to do it.
Just say great work, Wazinskiyeah.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
Yeah, yeah, do you like it?
We couldn't have done itwithout you.
You're the one visionary inthis company.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
We should totally talk her up and then like
reprimand Brink.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
Yeah, brink this tree plan as a bunch of hoo-ha or
something like that.
All right, we got this, we gotthis All right, we do it, we'll
go in there.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
We'll go in there.

Speaker 2 (54:19):
Yeah, we've got a guy to see in, though, you know,
just up to the doorway, so wedon't look like idiots walking
to the hallway.

Speaker 3 (54:25):
All right, no one sees this but Wazinski.
Hold your hand.
I don't know if he sees thedoor.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
All right, I'll say to the group like great work,
Wazinski.
It's minds like you that keepthis company functioning and
Brink.
I hate this whole tree plan.
It's terrible.
If anyone helps you, they'regoing to have to talk to me.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
I slam the table.

Speaker 3 (54:51):
Load Orphan, but it's done, I point.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
Leave the crack alone .
They're building a bridge, andthat's a great idea.
We should hire them.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
I jabbed.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
Well, what's all this good stuff?
I'm hearing about that bogglingshrimp down there.
I just keep going until likeWazinski's like all right, get
out of here.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
We storm out before Brink can even mount a response.

Speaker 3 (55:23):
You hear Wazinski say well, he said his piece.
I mean, don't let it color youropinion, but that's what the
founder of our company believes.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
Who's title is Dark Lord?

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Dark Lord Orphan.
We go, take off the armor,collect our CEO of azimuth and
skedaddle.
Yeah, okay, what is okay?
I have to write that down.
Lumply Pendergoose, old Noggin.
I can't help it yeah same Allright, just call me old

(56:11):
Pendergoose.

Speaker 1 (56:12):
Pendergoose, You're one hell of a guy.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
Yeah, what am I going to do with all this cash?

Speaker 2 (56:19):
No.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Well, usually a finder's fee is customary.
You wouldn't mind A couple ofbags of themselves expenses and
whatnot?

Speaker 2 (56:31):
See, where do you want to retire to.
Anyways, you have to have hadsome dreams before you lost your
mind.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
Well, you know it might be nice to go get a beach
house on Scallow X Strand andyou know.
I hear it's nice though.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
I've never fished for niads.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
That's just weird.
Man Fish for niads.
Niads are sentient creatures.

Speaker 3 (56:57):
Have you ever had niad soup?
I?

Speaker 1 (57:01):
have not.

Speaker 3 (57:01):
Tasty, tasty stuff.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Knock yourself out, Pendergoose.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
Should we escort him or going that way anyways, right
, scallow egg, we're heading toDunk, and then Dunk is just a
sail down the river to Scallow XStrand.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
That's true, he could accompany us, we offer.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
I mean we say, if you want to stick with us, it's
fine.
Meanwhile meanwhile, zona andBuck, who we haven't seen all
episode.
Oh yeah, yeah, seriously right.
And this is the first timeRylan and Gail and have ever
pulled something off.
It was amazing.

Speaker 3 (57:38):
He was under the desk the whole time.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
He startles everybody right when we're about to leave
.

Speaker 3 (57:42):
Oh, my God, I forgot to do that.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
Hello my friends.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Hello Fantastic.
We got to get out of herethough.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
So we just walk out like we own the place yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:59):
What about the band as well?

Speaker 2 (58:02):
They're just in the full a playing music right.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
Maybe, maybe old luck and can hire them.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
We just follow the sound of the tuba.
Make our way back to the frontfor you, okay.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
Maybe Pender goes to look for some minstrels, yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:23):
I really like this, this acapella group.
How come they don't haveinstruments?
Why is that where we'll frontthe door?

Speaker 3 (58:33):
Yeah, the band says you guys are done.
I was like four.
They're all winded yeah we'redone, mission accomplished.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
Great job guys.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
That's a lot of money .

Speaker 2 (58:49):
What's a lot of money .

Speaker 3 (58:53):
Pendergoose has a wheelbarrow, a barrow full of I
was wondering how that was gonnawork.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Pendergoose, you're probably gonna need some help
getting that gold around.
Maybe you should hire some Idon't know some bodyguards and
some minstrels to sing to you.

Speaker 3 (59:10):
I mean, they can't even kill a werewolf.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
That's true.
I mean, we could definitelykill a werewolf.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
You should stick with us.

Speaker 3 (59:28):
I'll pay you to take me to Scallowag Strand.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
I like it.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
Well, that settles it .
We're going to Scallowag Strandand we're gonna sail up the
river.
We'll take him to MucklandHarbor.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
I'm fine with that.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Muckland Okay, so now we can head back to the crack.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Yeah, back to the crack.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
Back to the crack.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
Yeah, you said, elmo should go there.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
Yeah, we can meet up with Elmo.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
Elmo, we can hire Elmo.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
Yeah, he can give him some money or something First
troubles yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
We'll make a check to get out of here without
encountering the werewolf.

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
Oh, George, you should roll that one.
I actually feel good about thisrealms check because as Bernard
has made himself known twice,and with Bernard's joy we'll go
forward, I believe.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
All right, here's a realms at the 14.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
Oh man, that's a Bernard right there.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Yes, that's a Bernard .
Look, we saved it all for theyear.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
There it is Because I'm pretty sure the werewolf
would have killed us, taking allthe money.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
What we do find is like five werewolf pups who now
become our loyal dogs, yeah, butthen, like every full moon,
they change back into humanbabies, and it's terrible.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
So just a ton of responsibility on the worst, we
all have each one.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Okay, I roll a d20.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
You discover minstrels.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
Yeah, it's a three.
Bernard says you're welcome.
He knows that he did.

Speaker 3 (01:01:28):
I feel like you've done this before.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
I guarantee we've done it before.
You want me to roll again, ifit's something you think we've
seen.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
No, because I kind of like bringing back the same
characters.

Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
So we call it callback.

Speaker 3 (01:01:46):
I just struggle to remember their names.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
I'm not sure.
You have to tell me.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
Give me some context.
Who's the gnome?

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
That's very good.
Oh oh yeah, Is it no?
Is it P MIDI?
No, it's not P MIDI.
Hold on, I got this lunch date.

Speaker 3 (01:02:14):
Slarmille.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
Clunch.

Speaker 3 (01:02:14):
Dragon and.

Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
I got a bunch of them .
I'll just roll again in Mars.
We went back to actually meetwith him.
We missed the lunch date.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
I couldn't have deleted it.
Oh, d Iqabod Lundy.

Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
D Iqabod Lundy.
Oh my gosh, that's hilarious.
Well, it's interesting becausehe is the one who charges for
the quest to check out the lasttree in the used to be forest,
so we can give them an update.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
That's like one in 20 .

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
So 5% chance.

Speaker 3 (01:02:50):
Well, so you find he's there with a picnic spread
out.
Bernard says WAP did Lee?

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
Is that the person that was the tree one?
No, P MIDI.

Speaker 3 (01:03:07):
I think that was in the quagmash, yeah P.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
MIDI WAP did L.
P MIDI WAP did L was right.
After we go, the vampire.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
Oh, right, yeah, yeah , okay I remember that.
I don't know what episode thatis.
You'll have to start thebeginning of the adventure.
You got to roll back, roll backto session four.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
The gnome we were going to meet regarding the last
tree was J Spinky Nabbernutty,and then, of course, L Berry
Berryton, who is now the.

Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
The vice Roy of Clunch, who is the king of the
Orches.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
Yeah, in Orchmire.
So we've definitely changed theworld for the better, but I
think this is Iqabah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
Yeah, there's actually one of our most
successful quests actually.

Speaker 2 (01:03:52):
There's still time for us to Totally those are so.

Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
I really thought it was going to be the werewolf I
got to tell you yeah, me too.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
All right, so we see him with his picnic spread.
We go up and we say, hey, Iqy,this time lunch came to us.

Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
Oh, I can't believe you're here.
I don't remember his voice.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:04:16):
Sure, that sounds appropriate.

Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
It's wonderful to see you, Wonderful wonderful,
wonderful.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
We say Iqy meets.

Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
Some of the.
Oh look, that's a lot of moneyyou have there.

Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
Wow, yeah, I say we made a deal and we think we
saved the last tree as part ofit.

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
Oh have you been there?
We haven't been there yet.

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
I actually was on my way because it's just so dire.

Speaker 2 (01:04:52):
Hmm, yes, but the threat to the last tree was from
SPL, as far as we knew.
Unless, maybe there is no, no.

Speaker 3 (01:05:04):
That's.
That may well be true, butDidn't save the last tree.
It's dying.
I take it all back.
It's dying.
The tree is dying.
It's corrupted.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
Corrupted.
Oh man, we'll have to go.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
Don't be so excited about it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
Well, we thought we had, you know, we thought we had
solved that problem, don't evenworry about it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:35):
I'll take care of it.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (01:05:38):
We'll take care of it .

Speaker 3 (01:05:40):
We'll go check it out .
We just got to go to the crackwith this guy.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
Drop him off.
He's on his way to ScalowaxStrand.
We're going to hire about 40Yaljack mercenaries.

Speaker 2 (01:05:51):
Yeah, they'll be there.
Next time we go back to thecrack, this 40 Yaljack mercenary
is decked out in Golden Jewel.
There's no way to be found.
He definitely got there, okay?
They keep telling us.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
We need to hire this guy, a legit bodyguard, like to
take him down there.
We just got a Elmung.

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
Yeah, that'll do.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
That'll do.

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
Look, uh, you know why don't you just meet me up
there later, you know?

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
Okay, lunch date, another lunch date.
How about that?

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
Yep, we'll bring the paella, the paella.

Speaker 3 (01:06:35):
I haven't had that in a long time.

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
Sorry, it just came out.
That sounds wonderful.

Speaker 3 (01:06:44):
That sounds wonderful .

Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
It's madness.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
It's madness is what it is.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Look they're just trying to keep the tree alive
until they find a solution.
So you know, until they find asolution.
You know there's pretty.
You know there's not much youcan do.
You know the green gallivant isare working night and day and
I'm going to go support them.
You know.
Give them juice boxes and orslices.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
Got some apples and peanut butter.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
I got a Pee Wee soccer team, so I have some in
this picnic basket Picnic.
Gosh, that's Canon.
Always Picnic, hey boo boo,okay, wow, well, this is.
This has been wonderful.
It has.

Speaker 3 (01:07:39):
Um, so where are you guys about, like here yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:43):
I think that's the reason.

Speaker 1 (01:07:45):
I think the crack is where we'll end it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Yeah, I'm making another realm check just in case
, or do you think we can get?
No, we have to do two.

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
Okay, I'll give you a wrap, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:01):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (01:08:04):
Alright, uh, what is my realms Plus two Eleven?

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
I love it.
We use the quest point.
It's twelve Got anotherdiscovery.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
You know, I'm just saying Just roll three and meet
him.
Oh, hello, I think you shouldjust do it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:18):
I was just making a game, you should do it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:21):
You gotta do it now.
You have to do it.
Alright, I'll do it, I'll do it.
I haven't used the single questpoint, of course.

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
Yeah, Come on roll.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
Fourteen.
Oh, okay, alright, it's gonnabe the minstrels again, ah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:08:42):
Wow, is the pocket filler crabs.

Speaker 3 (01:08:47):
No, it's, it's like very um.
Yeah, oh you find a massivemechanical saw with enormous
adamant teeth on oh wow,partially obscured by thorny
bramble.

Speaker 1 (01:09:01):
That's one of the machines.

Speaker 3 (01:09:09):
Yeah, you can make a lore check to see what yeah, you
want to make a lore?

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
check, george.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
Yeah, I think my lore is yeah, I'm pretty Lori, you
Lori.
I'm Hugh Laurie.
Wow, that's a 14 as well.
Wow all the good rolls at theend, baby.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
Thanks, bernard.

Speaker 3 (01:09:27):
So this is actually it's.
This is not made by SPL, butit's probably certainly like
where the idea comes from, andyou saw some of the designs that
were being presented Likeprobably just based on this, and
this is this is a saw.

(01:09:48):
That was is pretty ancient, soit's rusted up.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
Except for the teeth, because they're adamant.
Yes, yes, exactly, we take them.

Speaker 3 (01:10:04):
There's an old legend about someone named gray ag
gargoyle who had the boggards ofmunch forge him, a saw at the
donning of the Dungeon era,which is, you know, however,
many hundreds of years ago, andit looks like this is one of
those saws and this is how, likethey used to be, forest was

(01:10:30):
felled.

Speaker 2 (01:10:32):
That is some serious lore no kidding.
And it was found right outside.
Yeah, that's, bernard has agood point.
If we could tinker to get itback working could be useful.

Speaker 3 (01:10:45):
Cut down the last tree.
Oh no, we find this magic.

Speaker 2 (01:10:52):
Yeah, I mean.
But they could also use it inthe crack for Various earth
digging purposes.
I'm sure we can get.
We can any.
James, you want to tryTinkering it?
I see if we can drive it overto the crack.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
I have repair mechanics and tinker, plus three
.
That's all right.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
So let me see if it's salvageable.

Speaker 1 (01:11:11):
Let me see if it's salvageable.

Speaker 2 (01:11:12):
I inspire you Okay just see, finally stick to you
with it.
He got plus two to the check.
Well, plus two for me oh wait,I roll twice.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
Is this repair?

Speaker 2 (01:11:25):
Thanks, life is a typical.
Have a good one.

Speaker 3 (01:11:28):
Yeah, thanks for stopping by yet.

Speaker 2 (01:11:29):
Yeah, thanks for coming here.
Yeah, repair nice.

Speaker 1 (01:11:35):
No, that is, would you say, plus two George.
Yeah so it's a 13.

Speaker 3 (01:11:44):
The max is plus three .

Speaker 1 (01:11:46):
Oh yeah, I'm sorry, and sorry I mixed up tinker and
repair repair it's 10.

Speaker 3 (01:12:03):
You get it back into like working conditions not
perfect.
You'll have to like put someresources into it To get it.
Okay at least we havefunctioning.

Speaker 1 (01:12:17):
At least we know where it is, so we can.

Speaker 2 (01:12:20):
Yeah, we can.
We can just park it in thecrack at our base of operations
there with where they'rebuilding the Like it.
They can probably use it to cutbrick and stuff for their
bridge and all that work.
Gotta have a couple yellowjacks.
You know how to use this thing.
It increases fatalities on thework site by like 300 but I mean

(01:12:43):
the efficiency.
It yeah ways the deaths and andsuddenly we're on our way to
creating our own corporation.

Speaker 1 (01:12:53):
If only we had a year later we felling the grimlywood
yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:12:57):
Yeah, it was a great idea, these machines classic.

Speaker 3 (01:13:08):
Yeah, yeah, do you want to talk to Sven?

Speaker 1 (01:13:10):
and yeah, let's let's spend no like, hey, sven man,
like we.
You don't have to worry aboutSPL anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
We cut a deal before we do that, though, can Ben, can
you yodel for us as we getcloser to the crack?

Speaker 3 (01:13:25):
You lay, oh, you lay, oh, you lay, oh.

Speaker 2 (01:13:30):
It's a con responses.
We near the crack knowing, sothey know that it's a lay only.

Speaker 3 (01:13:38):
Let's see if you find .
You find Elmo his corpse.

Speaker 2 (01:13:50):
Yeah, Jack.

Speaker 1 (01:13:52):
What a dark way to end it.
You like destroy his life andfind his corpse at our but he's
been captured he's been capturedby the yellow Jacks.
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:14:06):
I.
So this is how the scene ends,you seen.
Ends with me marching up to theyellow jack camp, where they
haven't captured.
This is the site, of course,where I had previously beaten
them up and earned their respect.
The last thing you see is merolling at my sleeves and
getting into like a pugiliststance because I'm gonna box for
his freedom.

Speaker 1 (01:14:28):
So great, that's so great.
We got you Elmo.

Speaker 3 (01:14:33):
Yeah, oh, hilarious all right, should we end it
right there?
Yeah, yeah, I Think when theysee you, they would just like
give it up, give up the ghost,you know, I mean yeah, we have a

(01:14:54):
exhibition match.

Speaker 2 (01:14:55):
for the heck of it, though, we don't roll for this,
I just win.

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
Roll it, see what happens.

Speaker 2 (01:15:03):
Your feet of strength Six I take some.
I take some hits, but I comeout on you take a shot, yeah,
you spit out a tooth, yeah, andthen I smile.

Speaker 3 (01:15:21):
All right, I don't even think we did XP last
session.

Speaker 2 (01:15:26):
That is correct, because we ended on the
cliffhanger.
I'm gonna do it up today, butJust gotta do two sessions worth
of XP.

Speaker 3 (01:15:35):
I Don't know how to go about remembering that stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:15:42):
We're gonna have to watch back the entire stream at
1.5 speed.

Speaker 1 (01:15:47):
We can level up, you know, between streams.
I think there's no need toActually.
No, it's kind of great to showthe book and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:15:53):
Yeah, let's well, I had, it's also just to remember
what happens, just to yeah, yeah, give out.
Xp yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:16:01):
Let's just do today first.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:16:06):
Complete quest or objective.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
Oh yeah, we did you?

Speaker 3 (01:16:11):
solved a problem creatively, yeah.
Explore new location,subterranean pits and layers,
sure Counter new creature?
No.

Speaker 1 (01:16:29):
Are you?

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
If any counter with an MPC.

Speaker 2 (01:16:33):
Yes, yeah, I was in ski, for sure, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:16:36):
That's for XP.
Any ideals or flaws that?

Speaker 2 (01:16:44):
you guys demonstrated I.
Mean, I could have hit thattable hard enough to break it,
but I didn't say I did, sothat's my own fault.

Speaker 1 (01:16:59):
And I should have tripped on purpose instead of
failing a role it would havebeen my.
Oh wait, I was the legs, I wasthe head.

Speaker 2 (01:17:06):
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
We could have been inverted.
Now, I don't think I used anyflaws or anything, her, we
didn't rescue anyone from danger.
We actually put Elmo into moredanger.

Speaker 1 (01:17:17):
Yeah, I was like adjacent, but not really, not
today.

Speaker 2 (01:17:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:17:25):
So for For X time I want to say you guys did some
role playing XP.

Speaker 2 (01:17:34):
I believe we did so.
Looking my sheet, Was it aboutthe gambling problem?
No, that was a while ago.

Speaker 1 (01:17:51):
My notes are the mess we did, we did get in here
through frown AD the secretary.
Mm-hmm, we had to do sometrickery One.
We encountered a werewolf.

Speaker 2 (01:18:09):
Oh, yeah, yeah, the creature.
So significant counter with NPClast time would be Elmo as Lord
Orphan.

Speaker 3 (01:18:23):
As well as maybe, the musicians.

Speaker 2 (01:18:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:18:30):
So I would say four for both sessions for each.
Yeah nice.

Speaker 1 (01:18:38):
I'm.
I've got like a nice littlehorde XP I gotta start using
yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
I have 15 again.
Hordak, hordak of XP.

Speaker 1 (01:18:45):
I've got 21.
God man, I love a lot of XP.
It is I love.
I did a level up and then I,but I didn't juice any stats yet
.
I've done it a few times fornothing.
Crazy, should we?

Speaker 3 (01:19:01):
Level, or like spend XP right now, if you want.

Speaker 2 (01:19:04):
I'm gonna keep saving for another month.

Speaker 1 (01:19:07):
I think I'm gonna say , for another level to yeah,
what level are you guys?
At five.

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
Yeah, yeah, are you sure I'm five?
Oh yeah, I know no five.
Yeah, that's right, oh.

Speaker 1 (01:19:16):
I could go to six like you go to six.

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
That's what yeah, you do it.

Speaker 3 (01:19:21):
George, is a result of you not writing your XP down
or spending it on skills.

Speaker 2 (01:19:26):
It's highly likely that I did not write one or two
quests of XP down because Ishouldn't like.

Speaker 3 (01:19:32):
I'm probably not too far.

Speaker 2 (01:19:34):
I'm probably like I probably missed one quest of XP,
because I think there have beentime for James used his flaws
and I did not.

Speaker 3 (01:19:43):
I Did not.

Speaker 1 (01:19:51):
You're tearing me apart, lisa.

Speaker 3 (01:19:56):
Okay, so no, no spending of XP today.

Speaker 1 (01:20:00):
I think that's gonna be it look at that Land of Eve
adventure.

Speaker 3 (01:20:04):
Thank you everybody for watching yeah, fun session.
Thanks to all of our patrons onpatreon.
If you want to join our patreon, you get, you know, little
updates on rickety stitch Book,three other projects we're
working on, as well, as you know, new monsters that aren't yet
in the beta you get access tothe full, entire beta version,

(01:20:27):
like that's true progress betaversion of the sandbox to which
is like we've been playing withits updates.
Yeah right now.
What you can download in thebeta is just this the.
The sandbox setting for theused to be forest and this is
just one region.

Speaker 1 (01:20:47):
So imagine this like time Six like five more of these
, yeah, five more of these.
And that's a drippy downsquagmash of river country,
scallow X strand, way down therein the south.
It's huge.
We, and we've, only, we've onlyever played from the sandbox.
So every single, all 17adventures so far I've just been

(01:21:07):
sandbox.

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
Yeah, and a lot of it is procedurally generated.
At some point, I mean, there isguidance from from Ben as the
GM, but it's, it's will roll forthings, things happen and then
we just kind of the story astreated by the sandbox filled
itself out.

Speaker 3 (01:21:23):
Yeah, what I do is I, you know, I look at the entries
.
So, for instance today, how thesausage is made you know I was,
I was looking at, oh yeahthat's right.

Speaker 2 (01:21:40):
So yeah, there's an entry for SPL and all these
other locations.

Speaker 3 (01:21:43):
Oh, Right, yeah, it's fact, because there's factions
that are that hog all their ownlore and then there's the
locations and you can match themup when you, when you find one,
yeah, yeah, so it's got allthese quests for SPL which
you're not engaging with exceptfor you know.

Speaker 2 (01:22:02):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:22:02):
Adam was in ski, like that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:22:04):
Take care of this, that's amazing how many things
could have been done there.

Speaker 2 (01:22:10):
I see treasure and I want it and then there's hell
growth mine.

Speaker 3 (01:22:14):
So like this whole thing about.
Oh yeah, we were there nogginand lumpy pender goose is like
under hell growth mine where yougo in and you meet Elmo.
Oh, so it's all in the sandbox.
Yeah, it's all day, okay.
Obviously, you know some thingsyou have to do on the fly, but

(01:22:37):
that's Running a game.

Speaker 1 (01:22:39):
What's amazing is that, like, even if us playing
this, it has some spoilers forsomething.
It's like spoilers for like onequest of like six.
Yeah for location.

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
And it's the way the roles work out, the way you
react to it.
It just leads off on all thesebranching paths, and I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:22:58):
It's cool, I dig it.

Speaker 3 (01:23:01):
All right, so see you next week.
Yeah, thanks for joining Allright.

Speaker 1 (01:23:06):
Bye.

Speaker 3 (01:23:06):
Bye, bye ladies.

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Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S01E17 | Saving the Last Tree

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S01E17 | Saving the Last Tree