May 8, 2024 • 17 mins
Through real-life anecdotes, Jen explores the illusion of perfectionism, the importance of reframing negative thoughts, and the significance of celebrating small wins. She emphasizes the value of surrounding oneself with supportive people and being intentional about who and what we allow to influence our self-perception.
Whether you're a longtime listener or new to the podcast, this episode will provide insightful perspectives on overcoming self-doubt and embracing the journey of personal and professional growth. So tune in, as Jen offers not just her story, but practical advice on handling the imposter within.
00:00 Overcoming imposter syndrome in starting a podcast.
05:35 Overcoming self-doubt and challenges in podcasting.
09:21 Replace negative thoughts with neutral or positive.
11:33 Celebrate small wins, find supportive connections.
15:56 Embrace the process, connect, and share.
Follow Jen:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.lander/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.butram/
Resources:
Landing Imperfect Website
https://landingimperfect.godaddysites.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Because anything that's lessthan perfect.
(00:03):
Feels like a failure, but ifyou're really dwelling on that
mistake and you're not focusingon what you can learn from that,
then that's going to just throwyou off by far.
So it's trying to really.
Be intentional and focus on whatcan I learn from this mistake
and celebrating your progressHey guys, welcome back to
(00:27):
another episode.
So today I want to talk aboutimposter syndrome because it's
something that has been personalin my life.
Things that I've dealt with.
And if you're anyone, whetheryou're going through this right
now, feeling like an imposter oryou have in the past, or maybe
it's coming, you might have yourmoment where you're feeling a
little imposter.
Okay.
So I just want you to take alisten to this because.
(00:50):
I know exactly where you'recoming from.
So I think I'm going to startwith telling you a little story
about one of my experiences,feeling like an imposter.
So here I am.
This is a five years ago.
No, actually six years now.
Oh my gosh.
Time flies.
So this is six years ago.
(01:11):
I'm stepping onto my very firstday as a psychiatric nurse
practitioner.
I'm nervous as hell.
Getting ready.
Cause I'm like, what am I infor?
I have some awareness obviously,but it's like, huh, now I'm in
charge.
I'm the one right in the orders.
I'm not taking the orders.
So I'm just like, okay, I wonderwhat this is going to be like.
(01:34):
So I'm sitting down after I sawmy first patient, who was
someone in a nursing home.
That was my first job.
Like Gero psychiatry.
And I'm writing.
And an order for anantidepressant.
And I'm like, who am I like, whois this person I'm looking over
my shoulder?
(01:54):
Like, where's the doctor.
Um, hello?
Like someone's writing an orderhere.
Like I need you to look thisover.
No, like I'm fully responsiblefor this patient's mental
health.
Um, educating them, prescribingthe medicine, helping them
through a hard time and it feelsgreat.
But in the moment, I'm just kindof like in not full panic mode,
(02:21):
but I'm just, it's I'm indisbelief.
Like how did I get here?
There's no way that I'm smartenough.
Like I'm no doctor what's goingon.
But it's really trying toreframe some of those thoughts
and understand that you did putthe time in, you did put the
work in, but I'm telling you Iwas like full imposter mode.
And I think that it took me.
(02:43):
Oh so many months, but probablyeven up to a year, a year and a
half, where I finally felt likeI was settling into that role.
And to be like, okay, no, I putin the work I made the
sacrifices.
I did the time I took the test.
I did all the things.
So I deserve to be here.
Um, sometimes it just takes alittle bit of time and patience
(03:04):
and self-compassion to recognizelike, okay, I'm not an imposter,
I'm just human.
And I'm filling a role and I'mdoing the job and I'm, I'm here
doing what I need to do, takingcare of business.
Okay.
Another time when I felt like animposter was actually more
recently when I started thispodcast.
(03:25):
So I for years have listened topodcasts.
And if you've listened toprevious episodes, you know,
this, that, it took me a coupleof years to even start a podcast
of my own, just wrestling withnegative thoughts, not feeling
good enough, not thinking that Icould start something or even
that anyone would listen.
That's another big thing.
So what I would do before Istarted.
(03:48):
And shortly after I did.
I would take people who Iconsistently listen to their
podcast and I would take it allthe way back to their first
episode.
And I would be listening to themwhen they had very few listeners
just to see where they started,because everyone is a beginner
at some point.
And even along their journeys,I've listened to some of their
(04:11):
episodes where they've talkedabout feeling like an imposter.
And when they first starteddoing something new, And how
they felt about it.
And even in my career now as apsych nurse practitioner with my
colleagues, um, evenpsychiatrists maybe they're
fairly new working on the joband they feel like an imposter
(04:32):
to when I can connect withpeople.
Who are doing something similarto me and realize that, oh my
gosh, I'm just a freaking human,like.
Aye.
These feelings are normal.
There's other people out therewho also have self-doubt and
they feel like an imposter attimes.
And it just actually gives somevalidity to the feelings that
(04:56):
I'm feeling.
And I'm like, okay, this isreassuring.
Like I am where I'm supposed tobe.
I have this mentor who hates theword, I shouldn't say hate, but
really does not like the wordimposter and tries to keep it
out of their vocabulary.
For me.
I'm like words are words, eventhough they can be damaging.
(05:18):
But if you can learn to reframethem in a way I'm like, okay, I
can use this word.
This is in my vocabulary.
I'm just trying to describesomething on how I feel.
In a certain moment.
So I'll use the word eventhough.
My mentor would prefer me tonot.
But back to this podcast, when Ifirst started it.
(05:38):
There was so much self doubt andI still wrestle with it a little
bit, but I'm able to reframe.
And it doesn't knock me down forlike a long period of time when
I'm wrestling with some of thesenegative thoughts.
But some of the things that Iwould tell myself is instill
kind of do is, Oh, my gosh, no,one's going to listen to this.
(06:02):
I'm an introvert for one and I'mmore of the listener.
So I really stretch myself to dothese solo episodes and
oftentimes I'll really put a lotof work into them where I'm
doing almost a full script forthem.
And one of my goals is to beable to either do bullet points
or just kind of freestyle talk,which is what I'm actually doing
(06:25):
right now is more of a freestyletalk.
So this is a huge episode forme.
So give me a shout out.
Okay.
but.
That's not always easy forsomeone who's more introverted.
And I also have ADHD.
So my mind is kind of all overthe place.
There's a million differentthoughts that are running
through my mind.
So organizing things and beingable to process and deliver
(06:47):
them.
In a freestyle kind of way is alittle bit challenging, but I'm
also trying to be morecompassionate with myself and
making sure that I am usingskills to help my ADHD.
And practicing those on aregular basis so that I can
really dive into my creativitybecause people who have ADHD are
(07:09):
very creative people.
And I was reading this one bookit's called ADHD explained.
And one of the things was whenhe was talking about creativity
and he was saying that he wouldget questions about, well, what
if I'm not creative?
And his thing was my questionback to that is.
(07:30):
Are you a worrier?
And likely the answer is yes,because people who have ADHD are
natural worriers.
Like they are.
Oh my gosh, if you can hear mycat.
Okay, go ahead.
They're worriers.
So he's like explaining.
Okay.
So let's look into this worryingbecause if you're a worrier, you
have to be pretty creative inthe.
(07:51):
Extreme scenarios that you haveimagined in your mind that are
going to happen, which 99% ofthe time they don't happen that
way.
But it's, it's, you have to becreative to even come up with
those scenarios in your mind.
So I thought that was actuallypretty incredible the way that
you said that I really resonatedwith that.
(08:11):
I'm like, okay, so I am morecreative than I'm thinking.
So if you have ADHD and you'relistening to this, you are a
very creative person.
Okay.
Especially if you're a worrier.
Um, oh my gosh.
So I totally sidetracked.
See, this is why I can't just gooff the rails here.
And freestyle.
Thanks.
I forgot what I was even talkingabout.
Um, Okay.
So I think I was talking aboutthe podcast.
(08:33):
Oh my negative thoughts aboutthat and my abilities to, to
really seek this out.
So I do enjoy.
The podcast and being a host,but it has made me feel like an
imposter, like I was saying.
So it's just through repetitionand just gaining the experience
and continuously putting myselfin the situation and reframing
(08:53):
these negative thoughts.
It really has been.
Helpful to me.
That's a really big one when itcomes to challenging those
negative thoughts that you'rehaving.
So, no matter what it is, ifyou're like, oh my gosh, I'm not
smart enough.
I'm a freaking idiot.
It's little by little trying toreframe that.
To something more neutral andsome people will want to teach
(09:17):
you and tell you to go fromnegative to positive.
And that can be very challengingto do, to make such a big jump.
So what I'm suggesting is foryou to go from, if you're having
a really negative thought aboutyour ability to do something,
going to something more neutral.
So instead of being like, I'msuch a freaking idiot, there's
(09:37):
no way I can do this too.
I am doing this actually.
Like you're looking atobjective.
data.
Even writing this down on paper,you're saying the facts, like,
what are the facts, not thefeelings, not what you think or
what you believe, like what isthe actual fact and writing that
down and it can be very neutral.
So I would love for you to beable to go from I'm a freaking
(09:58):
idiot.
I'm not smart enough to.
I am so damn smart.
Like I got it going on overhere, that's the goal, but you
might not be there and that'sokay, too.
So just trying to take it stepby step and just finding
something that's more neutraland stick to the facts, not the
feeling behind the negativethought or the negative emotion
that you're having.
With your ability to dosomething.
(10:20):
And then focus on the growthInstead of dwelling on past
mistakes, because they're goingto happen.
If you're a human, I'm nottalking to any aliens here, I
don't believe so.
At least.
You're human.
So you're going to make mistakesand that's very hard for someone
who has perfectionism to accept.
Because anything that's lessthan perfect.
(10:42):
Feels like a failure, but ifyou're really dwelling on that
mistake and you're not focusingon what you can learn from that,
then that's going to just throwyou off by far.
So it's trying to really.
Be intentional and focus on whatcan I learn from this mistake
and celebrating your progresstoo.
(11:03):
So no matter how big or smallI'm a big advocate for
celebrating small and big winsand even the small ones.
So back in November, I w I wasvery intentional about starting
to celebrate small wins on aweekly basis.
Every Monday.
I will celebrate small wins.
I'll write them down.
And I'll think about whathappened over the last week.
(11:25):
It's not like I'm throwingmyself a big party or anything.
I'm just saying yes, like I didthis, I accomplished this.
Like I'm giving myself creditfor that.
And I consider that celebratingthe small win.
That was not easy for me.
And it still isn't that easy todo sometimes because I can
overlook some of the small winsvery often because it doesn't
(11:45):
feel big enough.
Like I'm.
I'm like, if it's not big andit's not extravagant, then what
is this?
Like, why are we celebratingthis?
those are some of the thoughtsthat I would have, but I'm
trying to reframe that whereit's like, okay, no, the small
wins count because those are thelittle wins that are going to
get you to the big wins.
So it's very essential and it'simportant to have those small
(12:06):
wins and to acknowledge them.
So that it gives you themomentum to keep moving forward
towards your big goal.
And then finding people who youcan surround yourself with, who
are supportive and who believein you, that is so important.
And I can't stress that enoughto find connections with the
people who.
(12:28):
Are really going to be yourpeople because that on a really
bad day or a day where you're,you're really struggling with
imposter syndrome, or you'rekind of having these negative
thoughts and you're doingeverything that you can to try
to get out of it, but you'restill struggling a little bit.
If you can connect with someoneand just have a positive
conversation that is going to beincredibly helpful.
(12:50):
So, build a tribe, build yourpeople, surround yourself with
them.
There are so many reasons whypeople do struggle with imposter
syndrome.
And then, like I said, someonewho's a perfectionist often will
feel like they're an imposter.
Because they're dealing withtheir own inner critic, which is
(13:11):
comparing themselves to theseimpossible standards.
So it's, I fail.
If I make a mistake.
Anything less than perfect is afailure.
And then.
That comparison game that weplay to that really fuels the
imposter syndrome fire.
So remembering that people areonly going to show you their
(13:32):
highlight reels, they're goingto show you the very best of
themselves.
And that goes for social media.
That's where we really see a lotof those things.
Some people will absolutely posttheir worst moments, but
majority of people are going toshow you their very best and it
can be really hard.
Like you can get sucked intothat.
And I've talked about on otherepisodes too, where.
(13:53):
When I was in a really low placeand I was constantly scrolling
on social media and seeing alltheir perfect lives, quotation
marks.
I was just kind of beatingmyself up even more about it.
So I had to take a break, like Ihad to separate myself from
that.
So be responsible and be veryintentional about what you're
(14:13):
doing and spending your timedoing.
If you're noticing that you'refeeling worse when you're
engaging in a certain activityor you're scrolling on social
media, like, I actually feelworse when I'm scrolling through
these things, then that's yourcue.
I need to take a little breakhere.
So what I want you to do, ifyou're struggling with imposter
syndrome.
Is to really take a deep lookand have that awareness on
(14:36):
what's going on in my life rightnow.
Like where am I struggling?
Where is this imposter syndromecoming from?
And if you're someone who'sdealing with negative, self-talk
I really want you to check thefacts on that.
would you talk to your friendthat way?
would you be like, yeah, you'rea freaking piece of crap.
Like you're so dumb.
would you tell your friend that?
No.
So why would you talk toyourself like that?
(14:58):
I know that's the big question.
And we often wonder, like, whyare we so hard on ourselves
versus we would never talk toher friend that way.
Andy.
I think it's because we spendall of our time with ourselves.
Like we know all of ourmistakes, we know all of our
secrets.
We know everything aboutourselves.
(15:19):
And we don't know that aboutevery single other person.
Like we get no break fromourselves.
So having compassion.
That we are human.
Like this is okay.
And really trying to talk toourselves the way that we would
talk to a friend.
So it's challenge your innercritic.
Focus on the growth.
(15:39):
And that's not dwelling onmistakes and it's learning from
them, celebrating your progress,celebrate the achievements big
and small.
That's going to help build someconfidence and combat the
imposter syndrome narrative thatwe're focusing on.
And then focusing on the journeyto, so success is a journey.
It's not a destination, and I'msure many of you have heard that
before.
(16:00):
So just try to enjoy the processof learning and growing.
And I mean, I really can'tstress that enough either.
It's just, we.
We are human.
we.
deserve some self-compassion andconnect with me.
I'll put my links in the shownotes.
So if you have any questions oryou want to connect anymore and
you want to talk about this, oryou have something that you want
(16:21):
to share that I could share onthis podcast, I could go deeper
into any of these topics thatyou guys want to learn more
about.
Then don't hesitate to connectwith me on Instagram,
specifically my website, you canask questions there too, because
I really do.
Love to hear from you guys.
And if you know someone else,maybe you're not dealing with
imposter syndrome, but you havea friend or, you know, someone,
(16:43):
a coworker or anyone who mightbe dealing with imposter
syndrome, then share thisepisode with them.
If you found it helpful.
And just know that you guys arefreaking amazing.
And I so appreciate you and I'llsee you next week.
Thank you so much for joining meon this episode of landing
imperfect.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this community and
(17:03):
sharing this journey with me.
If you do want to connectfurther, then don't hesitate to
follow me on Instagram at Jendot Lander.
I would love to hear yourthoughts, any questions or any
stories that you want to share.
So, DME there, I also have awebsite.
It's a landing and perfectwebsite where I share a blog
post about my podcast, and thenyou can join my email list.
I have a PDF that providesanxiety and stress management
(17:26):
tools that you can.
And use as well when you join myemail list.
So check it out.
My website will be linked in myshow notes.
So don't hesitate to reach
Because anything that's lessthan perfect.
(00:03):
Feels like a failure, but ifyou're really dwelling on that
mistake and you're not focusingon what you can learn from that,
then that's going to just throwyou off by far.
So it's trying to really.
Be intentional and focus on whatcan I learn from this mistake
and celebrating your progressHey guys, welcome back to
(00:27):
another episode.
So today I want to talk aboutimposter syndrome because it's
something that has been personalin my life.
Things that I've dealt with.
And if you're anyone, whetheryou're going through this right
now, feeling like an imposter oryou have in the past, or maybe
it's coming, you might have yourmoment where you're feeling a
little imposter.
Okay.
So I just want you to take alisten to this because.
(00:50):
I know exactly where you'recoming from.
So I think I'm going to startwith telling you a little story
about one of my experiences,feeling like an imposter.
So here I am.
This is a five years ago.
No, actually six years now.
Oh my gosh.
Time flies.
So this is six years ago.
(01:11):
I'm stepping onto my very firstday as a psychiatric nurse
practitioner.
I'm nervous as hell.
Getting ready.
Cause I'm like, what am I infor?
I have some awareness obviously,but it's like, huh, now I'm in
charge.
I'm the one right in the orders.
I'm not taking the orders.
So I'm just like, okay, I wonderwhat this is going to be like.
(01:34):
So I'm sitting down after I sawmy first patient, who was
someone in a nursing home.
That was my first job.
Like Gero psychiatry.
And I'm writing.
And an order for anantidepressant.
And I'm like, who am I like, whois this person I'm looking over
my shoulder?
(01:54):
Like, where's the doctor.
Um, hello?
Like someone's writing an orderhere.
Like I need you to look thisover.
No, like I'm fully responsiblefor this patient's mental
health.
Um, educating them, prescribingthe medicine, helping them
through a hard time and it feelsgreat.
But in the moment, I'm just kindof like in not full panic mode,
(02:21):
but I'm just, it's I'm indisbelief.
Like how did I get here?
There's no way that I'm smartenough.
Like I'm no doctor what's goingon.
But it's really trying toreframe some of those thoughts
and understand that you did putthe time in, you did put the
work in, but I'm telling you Iwas like full imposter mode.
And I think that it took me.
(02:43):
Oh so many months, but probablyeven up to a year, a year and a
half, where I finally felt likeI was settling into that role.
And to be like, okay, no, I putin the work I made the
sacrifices.
I did the time I took the test.
I did all the things.
So I deserve to be here.
Um, sometimes it just takes alittle bit of time and patience
(03:04):
and self-compassion to recognizelike, okay, I'm not an imposter,
I'm just human.
And I'm filling a role and I'mdoing the job and I'm, I'm here
doing what I need to do, takingcare of business.
Okay.
Another time when I felt like animposter was actually more
recently when I started thispodcast.
(03:25):
So I for years have listened topodcasts.
And if you've listened toprevious episodes, you know,
this, that, it took me a coupleof years to even start a podcast
of my own, just wrestling withnegative thoughts, not feeling
good enough, not thinking that Icould start something or even
that anyone would listen.
That's another big thing.
So what I would do before Istarted.
(03:48):
And shortly after I did.
I would take people who Iconsistently listen to their
podcast and I would take it allthe way back to their first
episode.
And I would be listening to themwhen they had very few listeners
just to see where they started,because everyone is a beginner
at some point.
And even along their journeys,I've listened to some of their
(04:11):
episodes where they've talkedabout feeling like an imposter.
And when they first starteddoing something new, And how
they felt about it.
And even in my career now as apsych nurse practitioner with my
colleagues, um, evenpsychiatrists maybe they're
fairly new working on the joband they feel like an imposter
(04:32):
to when I can connect withpeople.
Who are doing something similarto me and realize that, oh my
gosh, I'm just a freaking human,like.
Aye.
These feelings are normal.
There's other people out therewho also have self-doubt and
they feel like an imposter attimes.
And it just actually gives somevalidity to the feelings that
(04:56):
I'm feeling.
And I'm like, okay, this isreassuring.
Like I am where I'm supposed tobe.
I have this mentor who hates theword, I shouldn't say hate, but
really does not like the wordimposter and tries to keep it
out of their vocabulary.
For me.
I'm like words are words, eventhough they can be damaging.
(05:18):
But if you can learn to reframethem in a way I'm like, okay, I
can use this word.
This is in my vocabulary.
I'm just trying to describesomething on how I feel.
In a certain moment.
So I'll use the word eventhough.
My mentor would prefer me tonot.
But back to this podcast, when Ifirst started it.
(05:38):
There was so much self doubt andI still wrestle with it a little
bit, but I'm able to reframe.
And it doesn't knock me down forlike a long period of time when
I'm wrestling with some of thesenegative thoughts.
But some of the things that Iwould tell myself is instill
kind of do is, Oh, my gosh, no,one's going to listen to this.
(06:02):
I'm an introvert for one and I'mmore of the listener.
So I really stretch myself to dothese solo episodes and
oftentimes I'll really put a lotof work into them where I'm
doing almost a full script forthem.
And one of my goals is to beable to either do bullet points
or just kind of freestyle talk,which is what I'm actually doing
(06:25):
right now is more of a freestyletalk.
So this is a huge episode forme.
So give me a shout out.
Okay.
but.
That's not always easy forsomeone who's more introverted.
And I also have ADHD.
So my mind is kind of all overthe place.
There's a million differentthoughts that are running
through my mind.
So organizing things and beingable to process and deliver
(06:47):
them.
In a freestyle kind of way is alittle bit challenging, but I'm
also trying to be morecompassionate with myself and
making sure that I am usingskills to help my ADHD.
And practicing those on aregular basis so that I can
really dive into my creativitybecause people who have ADHD are
(07:09):
very creative people.
And I was reading this one bookit's called ADHD explained.
And one of the things was whenhe was talking about creativity
and he was saying that he wouldget questions about, well, what
if I'm not creative?
And his thing was my questionback to that is.
(07:30):
Are you a worrier?
And likely the answer is yes,because people who have ADHD are
natural worriers.
Like they are.
Oh my gosh, if you can hear mycat.
Okay, go ahead.
They're worriers.
So he's like explaining.
Okay.
So let's look into this worryingbecause if you're a worrier, you
have to be pretty creative inthe.
(07:51):
Extreme scenarios that you haveimagined in your mind that are
going to happen, which 99% ofthe time they don't happen that
way.
But it's, it's, you have to becreative to even come up with
those scenarios in your mind.
So I thought that was actuallypretty incredible the way that
you said that I really resonatedwith that.
(08:11):
I'm like, okay, so I am morecreative than I'm thinking.
So if you have ADHD and you'relistening to this, you are a
very creative person.
Okay.
Especially if you're a worrier.
Um, oh my gosh.
So I totally sidetracked.
See, this is why I can't just gooff the rails here.
And freestyle.
Thanks.
I forgot what I was even talkingabout.
Um, Okay.
So I think I was talking aboutthe podcast.
(08:33):
Oh my negative thoughts aboutthat and my abilities to, to
really seek this out.
So I do enjoy.
The podcast and being a host,but it has made me feel like an
imposter, like I was saying.
So it's just through repetitionand just gaining the experience
and continuously putting myselfin the situation and reframing
(08:53):
these negative thoughts.
It really has been.
Helpful to me.
That's a really big one when itcomes to challenging those
negative thoughts that you'rehaving.
So, no matter what it is, ifyou're like, oh my gosh, I'm not
smart enough.
I'm a freaking idiot.
It's little by little trying toreframe that.
To something more neutral andsome people will want to teach
(09:17):
you and tell you to go fromnegative to positive.
And that can be very challengingto do, to make such a big jump.
So what I'm suggesting is foryou to go from, if you're having
a really negative thought aboutyour ability to do something,
going to something more neutral.
So instead of being like, I'msuch a freaking idiot, there's
(09:37):
no way I can do this too.
I am doing this actually.
Like you're looking atobjective.
data.
Even writing this down on paper,you're saying the facts, like,
what are the facts, not thefeelings, not what you think or
what you believe, like what isthe actual fact and writing that
down and it can be very neutral.
So I would love for you to beable to go from I'm a freaking
(09:58):
idiot.
I'm not smart enough to.
I am so damn smart.
Like I got it going on overhere, that's the goal, but you
might not be there and that'sokay, too.
So just trying to take it stepby step and just finding
something that's more neutraland stick to the facts, not the
feeling behind the negativethought or the negative emotion
that you're having.
With your ability to dosomething.
(10:20):
And then focus on the growthInstead of dwelling on past
mistakes, because they're goingto happen.
If you're a human, I'm nottalking to any aliens here, I
don't believe so.
At least.
You're human.
So you're going to make mistakesand that's very hard for someone
who has perfectionism to accept.
Because anything that's lessthan perfect.
(10:42):
Feels like a failure, but ifyou're really dwelling on that
mistake and you're not focusingon what you can learn from that,
then that's going to just throwyou off by far.
So it's trying to really.
Be intentional and focus on whatcan I learn from this mistake
and celebrating your progresstoo.
(11:03):
So no matter how big or smallI'm a big advocate for
celebrating small and big winsand even the small ones.
So back in November, I w I wasvery intentional about starting
to celebrate small wins on aweekly basis.
Every Monday.
I will celebrate small wins.
I'll write them down.
And I'll think about whathappened over the last week.
(11:25):
It's not like I'm throwingmyself a big party or anything.
I'm just saying yes, like I didthis, I accomplished this.
Like I'm giving myself creditfor that.
And I consider that celebratingthe small win.
That was not easy for me.
And it still isn't that easy todo sometimes because I can
overlook some of the small winsvery often because it doesn't
(11:45):
feel big enough.
Like I'm.
I'm like, if it's not big andit's not extravagant, then what
is this?
Like, why are we celebratingthis?
those are some of the thoughtsthat I would have, but I'm
trying to reframe that whereit's like, okay, no, the small
wins count because those are thelittle wins that are going to
get you to the big wins.
So it's very essential and it'simportant to have those small
(12:06):
wins and to acknowledge them.
So that it gives you themomentum to keep moving forward
towards your big goal.
And then finding people who youcan surround yourself with, who
are supportive and who believein you, that is so important.
And I can't stress that enoughto find connections with the
people who.
(12:28):
Are really going to be yourpeople because that on a really
bad day or a day where you're,you're really struggling with
imposter syndrome, or you'rekind of having these negative
thoughts and you're doingeverything that you can to try
to get out of it, but you'restill struggling a little bit.
If you can connect with someoneand just have a positive
conversation that is going to beincredibly helpful.
(12:50):
So, build a tribe, build yourpeople, surround yourself with
them.
There are so many reasons whypeople do struggle with imposter
syndrome.
And then, like I said, someonewho's a perfectionist often will
feel like they're an imposter.
Because they're dealing withtheir own inner critic, which is
(13:11):
comparing themselves to theseimpossible standards.
So it's, I fail.
If I make a mistake.
Anything less than perfect is afailure.
And then.
That comparison game that weplay to that really fuels the
imposter syndrome fire.
So remembering that people areonly going to show you their
(13:32):
highlight reels, they're goingto show you the very best of
themselves.
And that goes for social media.
That's where we really see a lotof those things.
Some people will absolutely posttheir worst moments, but
majority of people are going toshow you their very best and it
can be really hard.
Like you can get sucked intothat.
And I've talked about on otherepisodes too, where.
(13:53):
When I was in a really low placeand I was constantly scrolling
on social media and seeing alltheir perfect lives, quotation
marks.
I was just kind of beatingmyself up even more about it.
So I had to take a break, like Ihad to separate myself from
that.
So be responsible and be veryintentional about what you're
(14:13):
doing and spending your timedoing.
If you're noticing that you'refeeling worse when you're
engaging in a certain activityor you're scrolling on social
media, like, I actually feelworse when I'm scrolling through
these things, then that's yourcue.
I need to take a little breakhere.
So what I want you to do, ifyou're struggling with imposter
syndrome.
Is to really take a deep lookand have that awareness on
(14:36):
what's going on in my life rightnow.
Like where am I struggling?
Where is this imposter syndromecoming from?
And if you're someone who'sdealing with negative, self-talk
I really want you to check thefacts on that.
would you talk to your friendthat way?
would you be like, yeah, you'rea freaking piece of crap.
Like you're so dumb.
would you tell your friend that?
No.
So why would you talk toyourself like that?
(14:58):
I know that's the big question.
And we often wonder, like, whyare we so hard on ourselves
versus we would never talk toher friend that way.
Andy.
I think it's because we spendall of our time with ourselves.
Like we know all of ourmistakes, we know all of our
secrets.
We know everything aboutourselves.
(15:19):
And we don't know that aboutevery single other person.
Like we get no break fromourselves.
So having compassion.
That we are human.
Like this is okay.
And really trying to talk toourselves the way that we would
talk to a friend.
So it's challenge your innercritic.
Focus on the growth.
(15:39):
And that's not dwelling onmistakes and it's learning from
them, celebrating your progress,celebrate the achievements big
and small.
That's going to help build someconfidence and combat the
imposter syndrome narrative thatwe're focusing on.
And then focusing on the journeyto, so success is a journey.
It's not a destination, and I'msure many of you have heard that
before.
(16:00):
So just try to enjoy the processof learning and growing.
And I mean, I really can'tstress that enough either.
It's just, we.
We are human.
we.
deserve some self-compassion andconnect with me.
I'll put my links in the shownotes.
So if you have any questions oryou want to connect anymore and
you want to talk about this, oryou have something that you want
(16:21):
to share that I could share onthis podcast, I could go deeper
into any of these topics thatyou guys want to learn more
about.
Then don't hesitate to connectwith me on Instagram,
specifically my website, you canask questions there too, because
I really do.
Love to hear from you guys.
And if you know someone else,maybe you're not dealing with
imposter syndrome, but you havea friend or, you know, someone,
(16:43):
a coworker or anyone who mightbe dealing with imposter
syndrome, then share thisepisode with them.
If you found it helpful.
And just know that you guys arefreaking amazing.
And I so appreciate you and I'llsee you next week.
Thank you so much for joining meon this episode of landing
imperfect.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this community and
(17:03):
sharing this journey with me.
If you do want to connectfurther, then don't hesitate to
follow me on Instagram at Jendot Lander.
I would love to hear yourthoughts, any questions or any
stories that you want to share.
So, DME there, I also have awebsite.
It's a landing and perfectwebsite where I share a blog
post about my podcast, and thenyou can join my email list.
I have a PDF that providesanxiety and stress management
(17:26):
tools that you can.
And use as well when you join myemail list.
So check it out.
My website will be linked in myshow notes.
So don't hesitate to reach
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