February 23, 2025 • 73 mins
When your world crumbles beneath the weight of sudden loss, can a fleeting miracle open your eyes to the closeness of Heaven?
For mother, florist, and part-time mortuary hairdresser, Karen Poulsen, the unexpected passing of her beloved son Tanner tore her world apart—leaving a gaping wound that no earthly comfort could seem to fill. But in those darkest hours, she felt him through mundane yet extraordinary moments that could only be reasoned by his presence. Described as "tender mercies," they revealed to her that our loved ones never truly leave us. From a family picture fiasco, to a heartfelt Christmas celebration, Karen’s stories affirm that every prayer echoes with God’s compassion if we’re willing to listen.
Holding fast to her son’s love for Lego building and his dream of easing others’ burdens, Karen launched the “I Love Us Project.” By working with organizations to distribute Lego sets to individuals with intellectual disabilities, she honors Tanner’s memory and extends the kind of care and creativity he cherished so deeply.
Join us in this moving episode of Latter-day Lights, where Karen’s journey illustrates that God’s tender mercies—however subtle or surprising—can fill even the deepest void with the promise of eternal love, hope, and purpose.
*** Please SHARE Karen's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***
To WATCH this episode, visit: https://youtu.be/6rTP59A87yk
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To DONATE to the "I Love Us Project," visit: https://www.iloveusproject.com/
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Also, if you have a faith-promoting or inspiring story, or know someone who does, please let us know by going to https://www.latterdaylights.com and reaching out to us.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Scott Brandley (00:00):
Hey everyone, I'm Scott Brandley.
Alisha Coakley (00:02):
And I'm Alisha Coakley.
Every member of the church hasa story to share, one that can
instill faith, invite growth andinspire others.
Scott Brandley (00:10):
On today's episode we're going to hear how
the Lord is using tender merciesto show one mother grieving the
loss of her son that our lovedones still walk beside us.
Welcome to Latter-day Lights.
Hey everyone, welcome back toanother episode of Latter-day
(00:37):
Lights.
We're so glad you're here withus today.
We're really excited tointroduce our special guest,
Karen Poulsen, to the show.
Welcome, Karen.
Karen Poulsen (00:43):
Glad to be here.
Thank you so much.
Alisha Coakley (00:46):
Yeah, thank you for reaching out.
When you did, and you sent meyour story and then just some
links to read over.
I mean, the spirit was just sostrong in that.
So I'm so, so excited for youto be able to come on here and
just share all of the beautifulthings that you've been able to
experience through some hardshipand tragedy.
And tragedy and, um, I'm justgoing to warn our guests who
(01:08):
probably wanted to grab I havetissues, karen has tissues.
We're going to try to get Scotttoday to cry a little bit.
Scott Brandley (01:16):
No, that's like I'll have to go get hard to do.
Alisha Coakley (01:20):
But, uh, yeah, this this is going to be a
little one that tugs at yourheartstrings and, I think, also
really helps you feel the spirit.
So thank you so much, karen,for coming on and sharing your
story and your son with us.
Karen Poulsen (01:32):
We appreciate it.
I appreciate the opportunity,yeah.
Scott Brandley (01:36):
Awesome.
Well, why don't you tell us alittle bit about yourself, Karen
?
Karen Poulsen (01:41):
Well, I'm 62 and I've got four wonderful children
and nine grandchildren.
They're the love of my life andwe live in central Utah, in a
(02:04):
little town of Richville, andI've lived here, oh let's see,
since I was 12, moved to Utahfrom California, oh wow, and I
joined the church when I was 14.
So there was me and anothersister who joined, and then
later another sister joined, andthen later my mother joined, so
(02:26):
the rest of the family is notmembers, but, um, there's four
of us now.
So, wow, very cool move movingto utah nice.
Alisha Coakley (02:39):
Are you retired?
Are you still?
Are you working?
Got any hobbies?
I?
Karen Poulsen (02:44):
work like a ton of different jobs.
So I work in a floral shop justa couple of days a week.
Oh, and then I'm also ahairdresser.
But I developed tremors about13 years ago, so I've slowly
been giving that up, becausenobody wants to see a
(03:04):
hairdresser with scissors likethis.
I only have a few diehards thatthat still come.
And then I also work doing hairin a mortuary.
They don't care if my, if myhands are shaking, so yeah, that
works.
And then I have an onlinebusiness and then I run a non so
yeah, that's, you make me tired.
(03:32):
Wow, Directions all the time sowow, I love, like.
Alisha Coakley (03:37):
I mean, I think you're our first guest that's
ever mentioned working in amortuary before it me of um.
This is gonna date me, my girl.
You guys remember that movie?
Or?
Who was the uh main the holy?
calkin well, the girl thatworked as the makeup artist um,
(03:58):
I can see her curdy uh, jamielee curtis right, was it jamie
lee curtis?
And she would do makeup andhair and something.
And I remember that was myfirst time being like, oh, I
would do that job.
And so for as long as I've beenmarried, I've been telling my
husband that's my one of mydreams one day is to actually
own a funeral home and to belike the director, Like I don't
(04:21):
really want to do all of theembalming and stuff, but I want
to do, like the hair, the makeupand then the the actual funeral
, like planning and prepping andstuff.
So that's all I'm going to haveto talk to you, get some tips
from you afterwards.
I love it.
Yeah, yeah, it's.
You know, it's one of thosethings where, like, a lot of
(04:41):
people probably think, oh, mygosh, like that would be so
scary or how can you do that.
But I don't know.
For me personally, I just Ifeel like it's, it's like such a
sweet, tender, like gift thatyou can give to someone you know
, and and not just to them butto their family too, Cause the
whole point is to make sure thatthey look like themselves right
to really like bring a littlebit of them and their
(05:04):
personality back into the lasttime that their families might
see them.
So it's such a beautiful thingthat you're doing I, I love that
.
Karen Poulsen (05:11):
Virtual experience as well.
I can imagine my family thinkI'm crazy because I tell them I
talk to these people.
You know, I don't know most ofthem.
Some of them I do because we'rein a small town so some people
that I do, I do know, but themajority of them I don't.
But still I I ask them is is itokay?
(05:33):
Is your hair okay?
You know?
But, that this kind of neatwell, we're very thankful for
people like you.
Alisha Coakley (05:43):
So, thank you, awesome, all right.
Well, you have.
I mean, you're alreadyfascinating just in this intro.
I um, I know a little bit ofyour story and I'm just really
excited to have Scott hear itand our listeners hear it.
So we'll turn the time over toyou, karen, and, uh, we'll just
let you share where your storybegins.
Karen Poulsen (06:04):
Okay, well, first of all I think I need to back
up a little bit.
I want to back up about a yearbefore my son passed.
We had some things happenduring that year that at the
time I didn't understand and Ikind of felt like my prayers
(06:32):
weren't being answered.
They weren't even being heard,and so we had sold our home and
we had planned to move downsouth to St George where my son
lived, and I have anotherdaughter and her family that
lived down there.
So we sold our home here and webought a home in Hurricane and
(06:55):
we just rented it out until wewere ready to go down there and
we moved into a rental here inRichville and after about a year
in this rental, the owners ofthe rental said we need you guys
to be out in five weeks.
We decided, and well, at thattime her parents lived in
Australia, they were going tomove home and they were going to
(07:17):
live in this home.
So we had five weeks to find ahome and this was at the
beginning of that big boom.
There was no rentals availableand we got down to about five
days before we had to be out andwe hadn't found a place yet and
we were looking in our stakebecause my husband was a high
(07:40):
councilman over the young singleadult board and we loved being
in the young single adult boardand we loved being in the young
single adult board and we didnot want to leave and there was
no rentals.
We looked everywhere within thestate and could not find a
single place to rent.
So about five days before wehad to be out, I was talking to
(08:05):
the owner of the mortuary that Iwork at and telling him you
know, if you hear of any place,let me know, because we're
getting desperate.
And he's like I have a place.
I'm like, wow.
He says well, actually we justsold it it, but we haven't
(08:25):
signed papers yet.
So let me meet you over theretonight, you can take a look at
it.
And we did that and so herented us this house.
It was not in the state, it wasin a different state and it was
in an area I did not want tolive.
(08:45):
The area that this house is ina lot of doctors, rich people,
that's not me.
And I thought, oh, okay, thisis temporary, we'll live in this
house just till we can findsome other place.
So we moved in, ended up really, really liking this board, and
(09:08):
I'm going to come back to howthis plays into this in just a
little bit how this turned outto be a tender mercy from our
Heavenly Father.
A little bit later that yearwell earlier my children had
given us a gift certificate forfamily pictures about a year
(09:29):
before, and so I had made anappointment with this
photographer, who is a personalfriend of mine and she's booked
out like a whole year.
So we made this appointment forOctober of 22.
And I told my kids you've got awhole year to plan for this.
(09:51):
Make sure nothing comes up.
You will be there for familypictures, because we hadn't had
one in years.
So in August of that year, myson Tanner calls me and he says
I've got bad news, like you knowwhat?
Well, his best friend, bryce,was getting married and he was
(10:14):
asked to be one of the best men,and it was on the day of our
pictures and it was up north.
So I was really bummed,thinking okay, I don't know when
we're going to get back in forthese pictures, but it's
probably going to have to bespring because we don't want
(10:35):
winter pictures.
So I called up my friend who isa photographer and told her I'm
sorry we've got to cancel thatdate.
Can we book something in thespring?
And she said to me absolutelynot.
(11:01):
She says you never know whatmight happen and we need to get
you in for your pictures.
So she says as soon as I have acancellation, I'm going to call
you and you're going to tellyour kids to drop everything.
Wow.
(11:22):
So two weeks later she called.
This was the end of August of22, wow.
And when I told them, I says myfriend, she says to drop
everything.
This is the only time we canget these pictures done, until
(11:51):
next year.
My kids dropped everything.
Wow, and they showed up and wewent and had family pictures
done.
And we went and had familypictures done and it was just
(12:13):
six months later that my sonpassed.
If we had waited until springhe would not have been in those
family pictures.
So again, that was one of thosetender mercies that we received
At Christmas.
That same year we always wetraveled to each of our
children's houses for Christmas,like we'll go down south for
(12:36):
one year, we'll go up north toour other son's house one year.
Well, this particular year itwas our turn to go down to my
daughter's house in St Georgefor Christmas, and Tanner would
always come over to her housefor Christmas because he lived
down there as well.
And a few weeks beforeChristmas she informed us that
(12:58):
her husband's family all decidedto go to Hawaii for Christmas,
so we couldn't go down to herhouse.
So we decided to go up north toour other son's house.
But we didn't want to makeTanner drive all the way from St
George up to Eagle Mountain forChristmas and and then have to
(13:20):
turn around and go right back towork.
So we decided we would haveChristmas at our house with just
him.
We thought it was going to bereally, really weird not having
any grandkids.
But again, it was a tendermercy from our Heavenly Father
(13:48):
that we were able to have thatlast Christmas with our son and
again it was less than twomonths later that he was gone.
So on February 12th we'recoming up on two years, february
(14:18):
12th of 23,.
My husband was supposed to betraveling down and spending the
night with Tanner that night andon his way to a conference the
next day and he called Tanner onhis way down to let him know he
(14:38):
was on his way and he didn'tanswer.
And he got down there andTanner didn't answer.
The door of his house.
My husband called his phone.
He didn't answer and for somereason we don't know how it got
there but we had his garage dooropener in our car.
We have no clue, we don't knowwhy it was there, but we had his
(15:03):
garage door opener.
So my husband went in and hefound him and he had passed in
his sleep.
He'd been having some hearttrouble that wasn't being taken
too seriously, but his heartjust stopped and my husband
(15:25):
found him and needless, to say.
You know, it was just unbearablyhard.
My husband had to call me onthe phone, I was home alone and
(15:47):
you know.
So that kind of started thisperiod of me reflecting back on
that year and all those tendermercies that Heavenly Father had
given us, going back to thishouse that we moved into and how
(16:08):
that played into this.
Had we found a home in thatother state, in the young single
adults ward, we would not havehad the support that we needed
in the past, because singleadults just aren't you know,
(16:30):
it's just not something thatthey're going to do, but this
board that we moved into.
they were amazing and I knowthat Heavenly Father as much as
I begged him to help us find aplace in the other state and I
(16:52):
felt like he wasn't listeningbecause it just wasn't happening
.
I looked back on it andrealized he knew what I needed
so how old was Tanner?
He was 31.
He wasn't married, he was mybaby, he was the youngest of the
family and, yeah, so, you know,looking back on that year, I
(17:18):
just I realized that HeavenlyFather was preparing me by
moving us into this other stake.
I realized that Heavenly Fatherwas preparing me by moving us
into this other stake, into thisamazing ward that we're in, by
(17:40):
making sure we had those familypictures done and then giving us
that Christmas with just him.
All these things that I justthought, you know, nothing's
working out, ended up workingout just the way Heavenly Father
wanted them to work out.
Yeah, so I'm so grateful to himfor those tender mercies that
(18:05):
he gave us.
So the next part of my story isI just wanted to share that.
We know Tanner's been with usevery step of the way for the
past two years and some of thethings that have happened over
the last two years still justboggles my mind.
But I was supposed to go toHawaii.
(18:31):
Um, the week after Tannerpassed and of course I canceled
that trip, and a few monthslater my friend, who was I, was
supposed to be going with her.
She's a flight attendant, soshe was just flying me over with
her.
She called me up and she says,karen, it's time I need to get
(18:53):
you away.
You're going to Hawaii with me.
And I thought, okay, I'm justgoing to go.
Tanner was always kind of mytravel buddy because my husband
worked retail, which, if youknow retail, you work all the
time.
So, tanner being single, we dida lot of traveling together
(19:15):
Disney World, las Vegas, we'vebeen to Texas, and so going to
Hawaii without him just kind offelt wrong, right, but I went
and the first day we got therewe went snorkeling and when we
(19:38):
were done I guess I was justfeeling guilty, I don't know For
being there and enjoying myself, I don't know, just being there
without him.
So I was having a really,really hard time.
And my friend's, like do weneed to take you back to the
(20:04):
Airbnb?
I'm like, yes, we do.
Well, before I tell you what wecame back to, I have to give you
a little bit of background onmy son.
He was a Lego artist and hewould make these amazing mosaics
like portraits of Marvel andStar Wars characters and gaming
(20:30):
characters.
They were amazing.
Yeah, lego was his life.
I mean, from the time he was alittle boy, everything was Lego.
His whole house was decoratedwith Lego.
His whole house was decoratedin Lego.
Okay, it was amazing, and hesold his designs online.
(20:51):
Three days after he passed, hewas recognized by an
international magazine for hiswork.
Yeah, well, when we came backto our Airbnb, outside our door,
(21:15):
on this big patio that's outfront, it was covered in giant
Lego.
In giant Lego, I mean, of allthe hundreds of Airbnbs we could
have stayed at Tanner, I knowthat Tanner made sure we stayed
(21:37):
at the one where he could showme that he was with me.
Scott Brandley (21:43):
Mm-hmm.
Karen Poulsen (21:46):
Wow.
So, yeah, this giant Lego allover the yard.
That kind of got me through thenext few days.
I was like, okay, I can do this, I can do this, he's with me.
And I think it was on thefourth day.
I was having another hard dayand I was just down on these
(22:12):
rocks and talking to a turtlethat was down by my feet and I
was crying to this turtle howmuch I miss him.
And again my friend came up tome and says how much I miss him.
And again my friend came up tome and says, so I need to get
you back.
And I'm like, yeah, I need togo back.
So we got up to leave and Iturned around on this rock.
(22:36):
It etched into the rock rightbehind where I was sitting were
the letters K-E-M that's myson's middle name.
Alisha Coakley (22:52):
Kim Kim.
That's such a unique middlename too.
It's not like Lee or Dan, oryou know.
Karen Poulsen (23:05):
E-M-M-I-S, and we just gave him Kim as a middle
name.
It was also my older brother'skind of nickname.
His friend used to call him Kim, so we gave that as a middle
name to Tanner and it was etchedin the rock.
Scott Brandley (23:24):
Wow, that's crazy.
Karen Poulsen (23:28):
It literally blew my mind.
Yeah, I don't know how heorchestrated it, but I know
somehow he did that to let meknow that he was there with me.
Wow, he did that to let me knowthat he was there with me, wow.
And then, a few days later, onour way home, we were in the
(23:51):
airplane.
We were just taking off fromthe island.
Beautiful, beautiful weather.
It did not rain the whole timewe were there and we're just
leaving the island and I wastelling my friend you know,
telling her, thank you that Iknew Tanner was there with me
(24:14):
and we looked out the window andthe most beautiful rainbow,
right off the wing of ourairplane, but it hadn't been
raining and I just knew Tana wassaying it's okay, I'm still
(24:36):
here, you know, everything'sgoing to be okay.
And again and again, that'sjust one little small part of
the story.
I'm going to back up a littlebit to right after he passed.
One other thing about Tanner ishe had a condition called
(24:59):
hyperhidrosis which made himsweat, and so he kept his house
at 63 degrees in the middle ofwinter.
Wow, he put his house infreezing cold oh man, Really
really cold.
But again, a tender mercy aboutthat, is it preserved Tanner's
(25:22):
body, because we figured he laidthere for almost two days?
Alisha Coakley (25:25):
Oh, wow.
Karen Poulsen (25:27):
And anyways, again, 63 degrees is what he
kept it set at.
Well, oh wait, I want to backup.
I'm sorry, I'm going to back upand tell a different story
before I go into that one.
Scott Brandley (25:44):
Okay.
Karen Poulsen (25:49):
Two nights after we found Tanner.
We found him on a Sunday night.
On Tuesday night I still hadnot slept.
So Sunday night I didn't sleep.
Monday night I didn't sleep.
Tuesday night I didn't sleep andI was making notes in my phone
(26:10):
for his funeral.
You know, seven weeks beforeTanner passed, his best friend,
who is also his cousin, lost hiswife and child.
Yeah, and at her funeral, justthree weeks before, they
couldn't get this was in Buffalo, new York, and they couldn't
(26:30):
get her body out of Buffalo, newYork, because of the storms
that year.
So they didn't have the funeral.
She died December 22nd and theydidn't have the funeral until
the end of January.
And at that funeral her parentsspoke and Tanner said to me
(26:52):
that he thought it was sowonderful that her parents could
get up there and speak at herfuneral.
So I knew when Tanner passed,that's what I needed to do, that
I needed to speak.
(27:12):
To do that, rick, they neededto speak.
So anyways, on Tuesday night itwas 4.06 in the morning, I was
on my phone making notes fortheir funeral and at 4.06 I laid
my phone down on the nightstandand laid back back down and I
(27:34):
heard Honey, mom, and Iimmediately started crying.
I knew who it was and I knewexactly where he was.
I couldn't see him, but I knewhe was just off to the left
above me and I told him how muchI missed him.
(28:00):
And Tanner had not been activein the church for some time.
He was an amazing young man,but he was not active in church.
But he was not active in churchand he said to me Mom, I want
(28:24):
you to know that Granny set mestraight.
He was very close to his Granny.
He had passed by, let's see,five years ago, I believe, no,
six years ago, anyways.
So Granny had set him straightand he said I have a lot of work
(28:47):
to do, but I promise I'm goingto get it done.
And then, and then, and then hethanked me for what we were
doing and I'm assuming he meantthe funeral and then he asked me
(29:10):
to add another honorarypallbearer.
It was a girl that he workedwith, because we had added all
the guys he worked with, whichis normal to have guys as your
pallbearers.
He asked me to add this girland I told him we could do that.
(29:32):
And then he told me he says Mom, I'm not really into flowers,
would you mind asking people tobring a small, simple set of
Lego to donate to my clients.
He was a behavior analyst andhe worked with intellectually
(29:52):
handicapped adults and he wantedLego to donate to these clients
and I told him we could do that.
And then he told me I looked sotired and he said I needed to
roll over and go to sleep.
(30:13):
And he said I needed to rollover and go to sleep and I told
him I couldn't sleep and he toldme he says I promise I'll stay
right here by you, just go tosleep.
(30:35):
So I rolled over to face myhusband and he was looking right
at me and he asked me what wasgoing on.
So I told him that Miss Tanner,him talking to me and of course
he's like first thing in themorning we're writing this all
(30:57):
down, which we did.
Well.
Over the next few weeks I kindof started to doubt if it had
really happened.
I knew it had, but part of mewas like how, how did that
really happen?
Was it really him?
My oldest daughter boughttickets to go.
(31:25):
I have to preface this with Ihave never believed in mediums.
Part of me, I mean, I stillbelieve most of them are fake.
However, my daughter invited meto go see a medium in this
(31:45):
group setting and I thought,okay, you know I'll go, I don't
believe in this stuff at all.
But we went and I told mydaughter I says you know, even
if this was real, tannerwouldn't come through because he
would be the one tellingeverybody else you go first, you
(32:06):
go first.
And he didn't come through andhe didn't.
But I knew some of the peoplethat were there and a part of me
believed this woman because shewas telling them things that I
knew there was no way she couldknow.
Well, that kind of softened myheart a little bit, I think.
(32:30):
But the next day she was givinga seminar on living your best
life and so my husband and I andmy daughter went.
This was three weeks afterTanner passed and my husband and
my daughter were on their lunchbreaks and had to leave for me.
But when we first came in Itold my husband, tanner's here,
(32:55):
I can feel him.
And I felt him so, so strongly.
And after an hour my husbandand my daughter left and I just
sat there during the seminarbecause again, I could just feel
Tanner there with me.
And when it was over, everybodywent up to the front to talk to
(33:22):
this lady and I just sat therefeeling Tanner's presence.
After a while I thought, okay,I don't want to look like one of
her groupies, so I'm going toget up and leave.
And so I got up and this was inthe basement.
I was walking up the stairs toleave, somebody say excuse me?
And I turned around and it wasthis woman and she asked me if
(33:45):
I'd come back down.
She wanted to talk to me for aminute.
So she excused everybody andtook me into a corner and she
says was that your husband thatcame in here with you?
And I said yes.
And she says well, I have tolet you know, there was a young
man who came in with you and hewas standing behind her husband.
(34:11):
He kept saying I love you, dad.
She says was that your son?
And I said yes.
And she says I have a feelingthat he passed very recently,
(34:39):
and I told her yes, it was threeweeks ago.
And she says well, he's stillhere and he wants to talk with
you.
Then she told me.
She says she started holdingher heart.
(34:59):
She says he passed verysuddenly in his sleep.
It was his heart.
This woman doesn't know me Ihad not posted anything about
any of this on social mediaother than recent past.
There's no way she knew any ofthis.
But at that point I started, myheart really started to soften
(35:28):
and thinking okay, there'ssomething with this woman.
And she went on to tell me thatmy son was showing her a
rainforest.
And I'm like I don't knowanything about a rainforest.
She says, well, it's thesegreen hills and there's a big
body of water and it's drizzling.
(35:50):
And he says he's on a spiritualjourney in this place.
And she says he was also on ajourney in this place on earth.
And I knew at that point thiswas New Zealand.
My son had taken off for fourand a half months.
(36:12):
He needed to find himself andhe had, like, flunked out of
college.
Um didn't know what he wantedto do with his life and he just
decided he was going to gobackpack through New Zealand and
and that's where he went.
And that's where he went.
And the pictures that he sentus were of Wellington Bay.
(36:37):
It's a big body of water withthese big green hills, and it
rained every day he was there.
He went in their winter orsummer, and so I knew that's
what she was talking about andshe says that he was on a
spiritual journey there.
He was on a similar journeyhere during that 20, new Zealand
(36:59):
.
My son realized what he wantedout of life.
He knew exactly what he wantedto do when he came home.
He got back in the school.
He got straight A's.
He went on to get his master'sdegree.
So yeah, he had a similarjourney on earth in New Zealand,
(37:22):
but he was on a spiritualjourney down in this place.
She went on to tell me thatthere was another spirit there
with him.
She went on to tell me thatthere was another spirit there
with him and this other spiritwas presenting with a football
(37:44):
jersey.
And she says that she thoughthis number might be a 13.
She wasn't sure, but he haddied of a head trauma and that
he was attached to my thirdchild.
My third child is my other sonand I immediately thought, well,
(38:04):
maybe this was his friend thathe lost to a brain tumor when he
was 10 years old.
And she said, no, that's nothim.
And she says he's showing me along stretch of road with a bend
in the end and she says it wasan accident.
He died in a car accident and Iknew exactly who she was
talking about.
(38:24):
It was my son's friend, hisname was Cade and again, he was
on this long stretch of road.
They went to pass a car and gothit by a diesel and he was
killed instantly and anyways, atthat point they told her okay,
(38:47):
I know who you're talking about.
And she says he wants you toknow that he decided to help
your son transition out.
And she says he wants you toknow that he decided to help
your son transition.
Now I want to back up to againthis home that we moved into.
Guess who our neighbors are?
The mother and father of Kate,wow.
Scott Brandley (39:14):
Wow.
Karen Poulsen (39:16):
Wow yeah.
And back when they had losttheir son again.
That was 18 years ago now, whenthey had lost their son.
I remember thinking, if thatever happened to me, I hope I
can handle it just like they are, because they were consoling
(39:40):
everybody in town.
They forgave the young man whowas actually driving that car
who tried to pass the vehiclewhen the diesel was coming, when
the stay soul was coming, andthey forgave him.
They held no ill will towardshim and I just thought you know,
(40:05):
I hope I can be like that.
Well, my husband called me tolet me know that Tanner passed.
The first thing that came to myhead that night was okay, karen
, you have a choice.
(40:27):
You can choose to be like themor not.
I chose at that moment that Iwanted to be like these
neighbors, like Kate's parents,and it's just all these things
that just Heavenly Fatherorchestrated these things,
(40:51):
knowing I was going to need them.
I was going to need them as myneighbors.
And when I was talking toCade's brother and telling him
of this incident or whateverthat I had with this medium, and
(41:19):
that his brother had helped himtransition, he says you know,
it's funny you say that because,since Cade passed.
Their family is always talkingabout how they hope that on the
other side that Cade's missionis to help others pass over.
Alisha Coakley (41:46):
That's so random .
Oh, my goodness, yeah, wow.
Karen Poulsen (41:55):
I know that.
I know Heavenly Fathers areaware of us.
I, you know, again, I don'tnormally believe in mediums, but
I do believe that this womanlives very I don't know.
I think the veil is very thinfor her and she's really been a
(42:21):
blessing.
I do have a couple otherstories that are just kind of
crazy as well.
Shortly after Tanner passed, wewere getting ready for bed and
it was just cold.
In my house we have our heaterset at 72.
(42:44):
This is the middle, middle ofwinter and Rick's in bed and I'm
washing my face and I'm justcold and they go in and kneel
down to say my prayers and myteeth are chattering when I'm
done.
I said to Rick what's herheater set at?
He says I haven't touched it.
So I went in and I looked atthe thermostat and it was 69.
(43:08):
And so I told Rick, my husband,he says well, go check the
breaker.
So I did.
The breaker wasn't flipped,everything was funny.
And I come back.
The thermostat's at 68.
Then 67.
I'll direct this.
He says you need to godownstairs and look at the
(43:29):
furnace, see what's going on.
So he went down the furnace.
Everything was funny.
He went back up 65.
, 64.
65, 64.
He got down to 63, which iswhere Tanner kept his thermostat
(43:56):
.
And I said to Rick, it's TannerLetting us know he's here.
And as soon as I said that, ourburn was kicked on and all
these things just sound crazy.
But there's no otherexplanations for him other than
(44:16):
Tanner letting us know he's here, that he's with us.
A few weeks later we finallyfelt like we could go through
all the cards and everythingthat people had sent us, and so
I sent her reading the cards andagain I'm just starting to
shiver.
And so I got up and went overand looked at the thermostat.
(44:39):
It was down to 69.
It's starting to drop.
And I just said, okay, tanner,we know you're here.
And the furnace kicked open.
Wow, I don't know how toexplain these things.
It just don't you explain thesethings.
(45:04):
It just Another experience myson before my other son, before
I went to Hawaii.
He'd gone a few weeks before mewith his wife and they went to a
Buddhist temple over there andapparently when you go inside
they have a little table next totheir big Buddhist statue where
(45:28):
you can put mementos of yourlost loved ones.
And so him and his wife were inthere and they're like, oh, I
wish we didn't have a Lego toput here for Tanner.
But they didn't, and so theywent and they left, and they
went out to their rental car andas my daughter-in-law was
starting to get in the car, shelooked down at the ground and
(45:50):
right there on the ground,outside her door, was a Lego.
So she picked it up.
They went right back inside.
But she says, thatgo piece wasnot there when she got out of
(46:13):
her car, and I mean, I could goon and on.
There's so many of thesedifferent things that that have
happened, but it's just amazingto know that our loved ones are
still here.
You know, I think we just haveto be open to the ideas that
(46:38):
they are trying to communicatewith us in those little ways
that they are trying tocommunicate with us and those
little ways that they can.
My granddaughter she justturned 15, but a few months ago
she was really struggling.
She was very, very close to 10.
And she likes to think that shewas his favorite.
(47:03):
May have been, and she wasreally struggling and I was at
her house and she came into mybedroom and was talking to me
and she was just having a hardtime wondering why Tanner was
giving these messages toeverybody else.
But she hadn't gotten them andI told her.
I says, addie, you just have tohave faith that he's there with
(47:25):
you all the time.
Just have faith that he's there.
The next morning she left forschool really early and I wasn't
up yet, but I got this textmessage from her with this
picture and she says Grandma, Igot up this morning and I played
a wordle game.
It's the game on her phone.
(47:47):
You won't believe what thefirst word was, and she took a
screenshot of it.
It was faith.
Scott Brandley (47:57):
Aww.
Karen Poulsen (47:58):
Wow, do you think that was Tanner?
I know it was Tanner.
You know he is there with you.
So I think we have to be openand just know that they are here
(48:19):
with us.
They're here to help us andHeavenly Father's aware of all
of it, and he's there to help usthrough this.
We just have to turn to Him andrecognize those things as
tender mercies.
Alisha Coakley (48:42):
I love that you've had all of these like,
like well, they're big.
I mean they.
They may sound kind of littlebut they're, they're in your
face, big, like evident umexperiences and stuff like that
that do show you that Tanner isaround.
And I also love what you saidearlier about how, how um, the,
(49:05):
the friend's parents, the youngman who passed in the accident,
how you recognize, in the momentthat Tanner passed, that you
had an example to look to, likesomeone that you could, you
could um model yourself and yourgrief after, and what kind of
person you wanted to be.
Because I think and this youhaven't shared this yet, but I I
(49:27):
would love for you to kind ofshare with our listeners Um,
you're getting all of thesethings from from Tanner.
You're getting all theseexperiences, all these little
little God nods, you know, um,showing you that our loved ones
are still around and you're alsokeeping Tanner's memory alive.
Will you tell us a little bitabout the, the organization that
(49:48):
you've started in his honor,and just kind of where the idea
come from?
Karen Poulsen (49:52):
and I'd love to um again.
You know, like I said, tannerwas very much into Lego.
That rubbed off on our wholefamily Our whole family's into
Lego now, and that startedbefore he passed.
But again, he was very muchinto Lego and he used to build
Lego with his clients Becauseit's very good for helping to
(50:15):
build neural pathways and sogreat for these people who do
have like autism or tbis andlike that.
So legos are very beneficialand they can be used in therapy.
So tanner would build like gowith his clients.
And when tanner had asked me,when he came to me after he
(50:36):
passed and asked me to askpeople to bring small, simple
sets of those were his wordssmall simple sets of lego to
donate to his clients, he he hadalways had this dream of being
(50:56):
able to see a need and fill it,of being able to see a need and
fill it.
That's what he had always toldme.
Just someday he wanted to havethe means to be able to see a
need and fill it and he'd donethat quite a bit before he
(51:19):
passed.
And so when he asked me to havepeople bring these small
symbols that said Legogo, I justthought, you know this is one
way we could help canner stillfulfill that read of seeing a
need and filling it.
And um, we started a non-profitit's's called the I Love Us
Project, which a few years ago,at Valentine's Day, tanner had
(51:46):
made a post on Facebook and ithad a picture of our family and
it said at the bottom of thispicture, I may be the loner in
the middle, but I sure have someamazing examples of what love
is in my life and then it said Ilove us.
(52:07):
So that's where we got the namefor this project, the I love us
project, and we collect Legosets and we distribute them to
organizations that work withintellectually handicapped
people.
(52:28):
So that's what we're doing inhis honor to help keep that
dream of his going of being ableto see a need and feel it.
You may not be able to see orfeel all the types of needs that
he, that he saw, but this wasone that we could, so this was
just our effort to fulfill thisdream wow that's awesome yeah, I
(52:56):
love that so much.
Alisha Coakley (52:57):
I, um, I know that, um, that grief is probably
like, just in my opinion, fromwhat I've been able to
experience in talking withothers and hearing stories like
yours um, grief is probably theone thing that just really
(53:17):
doesn't end.
It changes, but it reallydoesn't end, and we, we either
get bitter or we get better fromit.
And it is so easy to do bothand I know that sounds crazy,
but it really is so easy to doboth.
It is so easy to find thebeauty when you're looking for
(53:39):
it, but it's also really reallyeasy to find all of the ugly
stuff too.
It's easy to go into the.
You know what should havehappened and what could have
happened and whatever else.
But it's also easy to look tothe future and say what's what
I'm going to do now?
You know, what is that nextright thing that I'm going to do
(53:59):
?
What's the next best step?
How am I going to continue onin such a way that I don't let
this be a meaningless experience?
You know, and I just I when Ihear families like yours who are
coming together after losingloved ones, who are looking for
(54:24):
ways that they can see theLord's hand and be part of the
Lord's hands.
It just is such a beautiful,beautiful thing and and I really
really appreciate everythingthat you and your family are
doing, um, to just kind of be apart of of that work that
heavenly father put Tanner onthis earth for and, you know, by
(54:47):
extension, put you guys on thisearth for too.
I um I know that some people umlistening to the show, they
might've gotten caught up on thewhole medium thing, right,
cause there's I mean, we just wedon't know there's not a lot of
information on it.
Um, the thing that we hear inthe church is always, like, you
know, stay away from them.
But I would also like to pointout that, um, that it's not like
(55:10):
you were going out and you werepaying to have this psychic
reading done or something likethat, and the Lord is really
creative and he's going to usepeople, whether they're doing
what's right or not, or whethertheirs is a spiritual gift or if
it comes from something like.
The Lord can still use anybodyand put them in our path at any
point in time.
Look at the photographer friendof yours.
(55:32):
He inspired your photographerfriend, right, and it would have
been so easy for her to say,sure, let's just do it in the
spring, no sweat off her back,but instead she really made it a
point to get you guys in thereearlier, your flight attendant
friend, you know taking you atthat specific time to that
Airbnb and and you know to beable to be in that place.
(55:53):
So I think that, while we don'tnecessarily need to go out and
we don't need to seek for thosepeople, we can be open to what
heavenly father brings in ourlife.
And the most important thing andyou've mentioned this in just
little things is is that we haveto do our part to stay close to
the Lord, first and foremost,so that we can recognize when
(56:14):
those are spiritual experiences,and and so that we can hear him
, and, and so that we can hearhim, we can hear our loved ones,
um, and the more that that wedo what you were doing, which is
, you know, serving in yourcallings and saying your prayers
at night and and you know, justreally taking all of that pain
(56:35):
and bringing it to the Lord andletting him be your source of of
truth and light to the Lord,and letting him be your source
of of truth and light.
It's okay.
It's okay If the things thatcome into our life to show us
where the Lord's at, if theydon't look traditional, right it
because it can all be used toour good.
So, um, I don't know, sorry, I,I, I don't know where I'm going
(56:58):
with all that, but I just Sorry, I don't know where.
Scott Brandley (56:59):
I'm going with all that, but I just I really
that was really good, Alisha.
Yeah, I think tender mercies,the way God shows us tender
mercies is just almost likeshocking every time it happens,
Because you're like like havinghis name on the rock behind you,
I know.
What are the odds of that?
(57:20):
I mean, there's it's just crazy.
Karen Poulsen (57:25):
If it hadn't happened to me, I don't know if
I'd believe it, you're right.
We had to take pictures of allof this because it was just so
in your face, Hi, Mom.
I do have one other littleexperience I'd love to share,
just to top this all off.
Like I said, Tanner had told mehe was on the spiritual journey
(57:49):
your granny said it straightand he had work to do.
So after he had passed, we hada Relief Society Temple trip and
we went and I was so hoping tofeel Tanner there and I didn't.
I did not feel him there.
It was heartbreaking.
(58:09):
And a couple months later Iwent again and again I didn't
feel him there and I said why?
Why am I not feeling him here?
Because I knew he said he wasworking on it, and then we had
set the appointment to haveTanner's work done for him, and
(58:29):
this was in July.
And so our family all went tothe temple together and did
Tanner's work.
And when me and my one daughterand my daughter-in-law were
sitting there in the chapelwaiting for my husband and my
son and my son-in-law to come inwe're just sitting there and I
(58:56):
heard two words I'm here.
And at dawn he couldn't bethere before, he couldn't be at
the temple before, but he washere now because we were doing
(59:16):
his work for him and he wasthere out because we were doing
his work for him and he wasthere.
And then, as the sessionstarted, as we're walking into
the room, my husband, my son andmy son-in-law come in.
My son-in-law goes in first,Then my husband goes in and he
(59:39):
leaves a blank chair between himand my son-in-law, and then my
son comes in and sits next to myhusband and I looked over there
and my first thought was well,why isn't he sitting with my
son-in-law?
And then the whole time I keptlooking over there and I could
just imagine Tanner sittingthere.
Just imagine Tanner sittingthere.
(01:00:00):
And so, when the session wasover, me and my daughter, we
were waiting for my husband tocome through, who was Tanner's
proxy.
And there's kind of this thingabout Tanner he's the one that
(01:00:23):
he's so polite.
It's like I was telling youhe'd be the one saying you go
first.
You go first Because that'sjust Tanner.
And so we're waiting for myhusband to come through, and my
daughter turned to me.
She says is it weird that I'mexpecting Tanner to come through
(01:00:43):
?
I says no, because I'mexpecting the same thing.
And she says I bet you he'll bethe last one.
Sure enough, my husband camethrough.
He was the very last person tocome through.
No, we didn't see Tanner comethrough.
(01:01:06):
We saw my husband.
But it was just likedisconfirmation, those little
things, knowing that if that hadbeen physically Tanner, he
would have been the one sayingyou go first, you go first yeah,
you go first, he's the last oneto come through.
(01:01:30):
We know he was there.
He accepted everything Awesome.
Alisha Coakley (01:01:41):
Oh, karen, that was, that was a lot.
There was a lot of beautiful,yeah, just really touching.
Very touching.
Yeah, thank you so much forcoming on here today and for
sharing Tanner and and yourstory and your miracles and
stuff like that, and we reallyreally appreciate it.
(01:02:04):
Before we um sign off, is thereanything else that you'd like
to to leave with our listeners?
Karen Poulsen (01:02:13):
just be open, to be open and be looking for those
beautiful, tender mercies inyour life and know where they
came from.
They're not coincidences,heavenly Fathers.
In the details of our life, inevery little detail, as far back
(01:02:36):
as 18 years ago, putting thatthought in my head that I ever
get faced with this is 18 yearsago, putting that thought in my
head that if I ever get facedwith this, I want to be like
them Again.
Even that far back, heavenlyFather was watching me and
preparing me for what I wouldface in the South.
Scott Brandley (01:03:05):
Yeah, wow.
One thing I love about yourstory is just you're very
grateful for everything thatGod's given you, and all these
tender mercies, I mean youwouldn't be able to truly
(01:03:29):
appreciate them without thefaith that you have and the
knowledge of the gospel.
Alisha Coakley (01:03:35):
Yeah, absolutely , just talking a few minutes ago
about how you had expected toto see Tanner and feel Tanner in
these different places, andthen he wasn't there and you're
like why aren't you showing upin the same thing with your
granddaughter?
You know like, why isn't hegiving me things too?
So I think sometimes we weyearn so much for those, those,
(01:03:56):
those things to be shown to usat a certain time, in a certain
place and in a certain way, thatwhen it doesn't happen and when
those expectations aren't met,it's really really easy for us
to to lose our faith and say,well then, obviously, obviously,
you know they can, they're notstill here, or heavenly father
doesn't see me, or he doesn'tknow me.
(01:04:16):
But one of the things that thatI went through was kind of
similar to your granddaughter,where I had all these people
that were talking to me about mybrother and and about these
things that had happened to them, and I mean people that like
maybe weren't even as close tohim, would have these
experiences, and I was veryjealous.
What hello, like I was yourfavorite sister.
(01:04:40):
We all know that, right, right,you know, like, why is it that
you're not showing up to me anddoing all of these things?
And um, and there was one pointwhen, um, when I was in the
temple and I just kind of hadthis like, uh, I was irritated,
like I was just feeling reallyirritated because I was just
expecting something and I hadn't, and I was still really angry
in the grief and um, and I justhad this like I don't even know
(01:05:04):
how to explain it.
It was almost as if I had thispicture in my head of my brother
plopping down in the chair nextto me, nudging me with his
elbow and being like I'm so busy, stop whining.
You know, it was like this.
It was totally him and it wasjust like I have things I'm
doing too.
I can't just come and baby you,you know like, suck it up
(01:05:24):
cupcake, go do what you have todo.
And that was just like ourrelationship.
You know, it was very much likewe just get stuff done and and
I'm doing stuff and you need togo do stuff too.
I can't, I can't sit here andplay with you right now.
Like, just let me think.
And, and I thought about thatand I thought, you know,
sometimes, heavenly father, letsthem come through to us because
(01:05:46):
we need it, and sometimes heknows that we're okay without it
.
So it's okay.
If you're, if you're someone whoisn't getting those signs and
stuff, it's probably becauseheavenly father and your loved
one, they know that you reallydon't need them.
You want them but you reallyreally don't need them, you know
(01:06:07):
.
And so their energy and theirtime is going to be spent in a
way that is going to be for thegood of all and for the building
of the kingdom and for buildingof testimony.
But there's still work that youcan do too.
Even even in your heartbreak,you can find good, you can be
good, you can produce the good,and so I think that's, um, it's
when we do that that all of asudden, we get so busy that we
(01:06:28):
forget to look like for thenitty gritty things, but we see
better.
It's.
It's like we, we change ourperspective.
You know, we're not just likelasered on one thing, where
we're able to actually go backand like see a bigger scope of
all of the beautiful things thatHeavenly Father has for us.
So, um, I really appreciatethat, that, that you're doing
(01:06:49):
that, and I hope that youcontinue to see so many
beautiful things you know inyour future and and with your
family and stuff of Tanner'spresence with you guys.
You know in your future andwith your family and stuff of
Tanner's presence with you guys,absolutely.
Karen Poulsen (01:07:03):
You look for it.
I mean, again those bigin-your-face things have slowed
way down, like you said.
I think it's because he knowsthat we're okay now.
Scott Brandley (01:07:15):
Yeah.
Karen Poulsen (01:07:19):
And we're going to be okay, so, and that's okay.
Okay, we know he's busy now andwe wouldn't want it any other
way yeah, and it's not the end.
Alisha Coakley (01:07:30):
No, right, like we're promised through the
atonement and the resurrectionof Jesus Christ, that we, we,
and the resurrection of JesusChrist that we, we will see them
again.
We're going to be together.
You know, families really areforever and and the gospel is
(01:07:54):
real and and Christ made itpossible, so that's uh, I just
wish everybody could know thatyeah, yeah, well, karen, you got
me makeup off, oh man what you,what you said is true.
Scott Brandley (01:08:20):
You know.
Know, like I wish that too.
I wish everyone could know theblessings of the knowledge of
the gospel, because it makessuch a huge difference.
I mean, my dad passed awayunexpectedly a couple of years
ago and I guess I didn't needthe God knew I didn't need that
(01:08:40):
reassurance because of ourrelationship and I was okay with
that.
But if I, if, if I needed it,he, he would have given it to me
.
You know, and we each needdifferent things at different
points in our lives.
I mean, I don't know how Iwould take it if it was one of
my kids versus my dad, right andso, but yeah, I like man
(01:09:06):
sometimes, I just like inside,you know, I just wish so, so
much that people couldunderstand the blessings of the
gospel, because it does make ahuge difference, especially when
something traumatic happenslike this.
And thank you so much forsharing your story and I think
(01:09:29):
it will touch people's hearts.
Karen Poulsen (01:09:32):
I appreciate you guys letting me share Absolutely
.
He was an incredible young man.
Alisha Coakley (01:09:48):
He definitely seems.
So yeah, I, I, I, um, just youcan see in the pictures of him
and and especially on thewebsite that you guys have set
up in his honor and everythinglike that, he just exudes
happiness and fun and love, andI love just the funkle of the
family the grandkids absolutelyadored him and he was a favorite
(01:10:12):
sibling.
Karen Poulsen (01:10:14):
He lived with each of his his brother and his
sisters at some point in hislife he has lived with them.
He was roommates with his oldersister for like six years, I
think.
Oh wow, lived with his othersister while his house was being
built.
He lived with his brother andhis wife when he was in school,
(01:10:35):
in college, for a while.
Alisha Coakley (01:10:37):
So I mean, you know, and then he got christmas
with you guys at the, the lastone, so spent a little time with
everybody you did.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Well, karen, if listeners, um,if they would like to donate a
set of legos in tanner's honor,can you?
We'll share the link too, butcan you let them know where they
(01:10:59):
can do that or how they can dothat?
Karen Poulsen (01:11:01):
you can go to iloveusprojectcom, okay, and
there is a support button and ora shop button.
We also sell, like lego jewelry.
Oh, okay, nice, yeah, I wearmine all the time.
I hope you can see that Legobrick that's awesome.
(01:11:21):
And all proceeds go towardsLego for these individuals.
Alisha Coakley (01:11:28):
Oh, that's amazing.
Do you have space for otherpeople who might be working with
individuals with intellectualand developmental disabilities
to reach out and get a part?
Karen Poulsen (01:11:41):
of this On the on the website.
Yes, they can contact usthrough there and we've arranged
to get a shipment out to them,okay amazing, yeah, well, yeah,
listeners, definitely.
Alisha Coakley (01:11:55):
Um, take a minute and and go visit that
website, see how you guys cansupport this cause and um and
support the family and Tanner'shonor.
I I just think it's such abeautiful thing and it's a
little thing, you know, but itmakes such a such a world of of
difference for for people, um tofeel seen and to feel loved and
(01:12:16):
and to be able to do thingsthat can help them to better
themselves.
So, um, we'll definitely sharethe link for for that in the
description here and we, youknow, are so appreciative for
you, karen, for coming on heretoday.
We appreciate our listeners toofor tuning in.
Um guys, if you could just dous a huge favor and share
(01:12:38):
Karen's story, that would beincredible.
We got our five secondmissionary work.
It only takes a second to dosomething great and get the
story out there and and leaveKaren a comment.
Let her know what your favoritepart of the of you know her
journey so far has been thatyou've been able to hear.
Scott Brandley (01:12:53):
Yeah, if you have a story like Karen's that
you'd like to share, or anotherstory about faith, go to
latterdaylightscom and let'shave you on the show.
Alisha Coakley (01:13:07):
Yeah, absolutely All right guys.
Well, karen, thank you againfor coming on today.
We really appreciate it.
And thank you to everyone fortuning in to another episode of
Latter-day Lights.
Scott Brandley (01:13:20):
Talk to you again next week.
Take care.
Alisha Coakley (01:13:23):
Bye, bye guys.
Hey everyone, I'm Scott Brandley.
Alisha Coakley (00:02):
And I'm Alisha Coakley.
Every member of the church hasa story to share, one that can
instill faith, invite growth andinspire others.
Scott Brandley (00:10):
On today's episode we're going to hear how
the Lord is using tender merciesto show one mother grieving the
loss of her son that our lovedones still walk beside us.
Welcome to Latter-day Lights.
Hey everyone, welcome back toanother episode of Latter-day
(00:37):
Lights.
We're so glad you're here withus today.
We're really excited tointroduce our special guest,
Karen Poulsen, to the show.
Welcome, Karen.
Karen Poulsen (00:43):
Glad to be here.
Thank you so much.
Alisha Coakley (00:46):
Yeah, thank you for reaching out.
When you did, and you sent meyour story and then just some
links to read over.
I mean, the spirit was just sostrong in that.
So I'm so, so excited for youto be able to come on here and
just share all of the beautifulthings that you've been able to
experience through some hardshipand tragedy.
And tragedy and, um, I'm justgoing to warn our guests who
(01:08):
probably wanted to grab I havetissues, karen has tissues.
We're going to try to get Scotttoday to cry a little bit.
Scott Brandley (01:16):
No, that's like I'll have to go get hard to do.
Alisha Coakley (01:20):
But, uh, yeah, this this is going to be a
little one that tugs at yourheartstrings and, I think, also
really helps you feel the spirit.
So thank you so much, karen,for coming on and sharing your
story and your son with us.
Karen Poulsen (01:32):
We appreciate it.
I appreciate the opportunity,yeah.
Scott Brandley (01:36):
Awesome.
Well, why don't you tell us alittle bit about yourself, Karen
?
Karen Poulsen (01:41):
Well, I'm 62 and I've got four wonderful children
and nine grandchildren.
They're the love of my life andwe live in central Utah, in a
(02:04):
little town of Richville, andI've lived here, oh let's see,
since I was 12, moved to Utahfrom California, oh wow, and I
joined the church when I was 14.
So there was me and anothersister who joined, and then
later another sister joined, andthen later my mother joined, so
(02:26):
the rest of the family is notmembers, but, um, there's four
of us now.
So, wow, very cool move movingto utah nice.
Alisha Coakley (02:39):
Are you retired?
Are you still?
Are you working?
Got any hobbies?
I?
Karen Poulsen (02:44):
work like a ton of different jobs.
So I work in a floral shop justa couple of days a week.
Oh, and then I'm also ahairdresser.
But I developed tremors about13 years ago, so I've slowly
been giving that up, becausenobody wants to see a
(03:04):
hairdresser with scissors likethis.
I only have a few diehards thatthat still come.
And then I also work doing hairin a mortuary.
They don't care if my, if myhands are shaking, so yeah, that
works.
And then I have an onlinebusiness and then I run a non so
yeah, that's, you make me tired.
(03:32):
Wow, Directions all the time sowow, I love, like.
Alisha Coakley (03:37):
I mean, I think you're our first guest that's
ever mentioned working in amortuary before it me of um.
This is gonna date me, my girl.
You guys remember that movie?
Or?
Who was the uh main the holy?
calkin well, the girl thatworked as the makeup artist um,
(03:58):
I can see her curdy uh, jamielee curtis right, was it jamie
lee curtis?
And she would do makeup andhair and something.
And I remember that was myfirst time being like, oh, I
would do that job.
And so for as long as I've beenmarried, I've been telling my
husband that's my one of mydreams one day is to actually
own a funeral home and to belike the director, Like I don't
(04:21):
really want to do all of theembalming and stuff, but I want
to do, like the hair, the makeupand then the the actual funeral
, like planning and prepping andstuff.
So that's all I'm going to haveto talk to you, get some tips
from you afterwards.
I love it.
Yeah, yeah, it's.
You know, it's one of thosethings where, like, a lot of
(04:41):
people probably think, oh, mygosh, like that would be so
scary or how can you do that.
But I don't know.
For me personally, I just Ifeel like it's, it's like such a
sweet, tender, like gift thatyou can give to someone you know
, and and not just to them butto their family too, Cause the
whole point is to make sure thatthey look like themselves right
to really like bring a littlebit of them and their
(05:04):
personality back into the lasttime that their families might
see them.
So it's such a beautiful thingthat you're doing I, I love that
.
Karen Poulsen (05:11):
Virtual experience as well.
I can imagine my family thinkI'm crazy because I tell them I
talk to these people.
You know, I don't know most ofthem.
Some of them I do because we'rein a small town so some people
that I do, I do know, but themajority of them I don't.
But still I I ask them is is itokay?
(05:33):
Is your hair okay?
You know?
But, that this kind of neatwell, we're very thankful for
people like you.
Alisha Coakley (05:43):
So, thank you, awesome, all right.
Well, you have.
I mean, you're alreadyfascinating just in this intro.
I um, I know a little bit ofyour story and I'm just really
excited to have Scott hear itand our listeners hear it.
So we'll turn the time over toyou, karen, and, uh, we'll just
let you share where your storybegins.
Karen Poulsen (06:04):
Okay, well, first of all I think I need to back
up a little bit.
I want to back up about a yearbefore my son passed.
We had some things happenduring that year that at the
time I didn't understand and Ikind of felt like my prayers
(06:32):
weren't being answered.
They weren't even being heard,and so we had sold our home and
we had planned to move downsouth to St George where my son
lived, and I have anotherdaughter and her family that
lived down there.
So we sold our home here and webought a home in Hurricane and
(06:55):
we just rented it out until wewere ready to go down there and
we moved into a rental here inRichville and after about a year
in this rental, the owners ofthe rental said we need you guys
to be out in five weeks.
We decided, and well, at thattime her parents lived in
Australia, they were going tomove home and they were going to
(07:17):
live in this home.
So we had five weeks to find ahome and this was at the
beginning of that big boom.
There was no rentals availableand we got down to about five
days before we had to be out andwe hadn't found a place yet and
we were looking in our stakebecause my husband was a high
(07:40):
councilman over the young singleadult board and we loved being
in the young single adult boardand we loved being in the young
single adult board and we didnot want to leave and there was
no rentals.
We looked everywhere within thestate and could not find a
single place to rent.
So about five days before wehad to be out, I was talking to
(08:05):
the owner of the mortuary that Iwork at and telling him you
know, if you hear of any place,let me know, because we're
getting desperate.
And he's like I have a place.
I'm like, wow.
He says well, actually we justsold it it, but we haven't
(08:25):
signed papers yet.
So let me meet you over theretonight, you can take a look at
it.
And we did that and so herented us this house.
It was not in the state, it wasin a different state and it was
in an area I did not want tolive.
(08:45):
The area that this house is ina lot of doctors, rich people,
that's not me.
And I thought, oh, okay, thisis temporary, we'll live in this
house just till we can findsome other place.
So we moved in, ended up really, really liking this board, and
(09:08):
I'm going to come back to howthis plays into this in just a
little bit how this turned outto be a tender mercy from our
Heavenly Father.
A little bit later that yearwell earlier my children had
given us a gift certificate forfamily pictures about a year
(09:29):
before, and so I had made anappointment with this
photographer, who is a personalfriend of mine and she's booked
out like a whole year.
So we made this appointment forOctober of 22.
And I told my kids you've got awhole year to plan for this.
(09:51):
Make sure nothing comes up.
You will be there for familypictures, because we hadn't had
one in years.
So in August of that year, myson Tanner calls me and he says
I've got bad news, like you knowwhat?
Well, his best friend, bryce,was getting married and he was
(10:14):
asked to be one of the best men,and it was on the day of our
pictures and it was up north.
So I was really bummed,thinking okay, I don't know when
we're going to get back in forthese pictures, but it's
probably going to have to bespring because we don't want
(10:35):
winter pictures.
So I called up my friend who isa photographer and told her I'm
sorry we've got to cancel thatdate.
Can we book something in thespring?
And she said to me absolutelynot.
(11:01):
She says you never know whatmight happen and we need to get
you in for your pictures.
So she says as soon as I have acancellation, I'm going to call
you and you're going to tellyour kids to drop everything.
Wow.
(11:22):
So two weeks later she called.
This was the end of August of22, wow.
And when I told them, I says myfriend, she says to drop
everything.
This is the only time we canget these pictures done, until
(11:51):
next year.
My kids dropped everything.
Wow, and they showed up and wewent and had family pictures
done.
And we went and had familypictures done and it was just
(12:13):
six months later that my sonpassed.
If we had waited until springhe would not have been in those
family pictures.
So again, that was one of thosetender mercies that we received
At Christmas.
That same year we always wetraveled to each of our
children's houses for Christmas,like we'll go down south for
(12:36):
one year, we'll go up north toour other son's house one year.
Well, this particular year itwas our turn to go down to my
daughter's house in St Georgefor Christmas, and Tanner would
always come over to her housefor Christmas because he lived
down there as well.
And a few weeks beforeChristmas she informed us that
(12:58):
her husband's family all decidedto go to Hawaii for Christmas,
so we couldn't go down to herhouse.
So we decided to go up north toour other son's house.
But we didn't want to makeTanner drive all the way from St
George up to Eagle Mountain forChristmas and and then have to
(13:20):
turn around and go right back towork.
So we decided we would haveChristmas at our house with just
him.
We thought it was going to bereally, really weird not having
any grandkids.
But again, it was a tendermercy from our Heavenly Father
(13:48):
that we were able to have thatlast Christmas with our son and
again it was less than twomonths later that he was gone.
So on February 12th we'recoming up on two years, february
(14:18):
12th of 23,.
My husband was supposed to betraveling down and spending the
night with Tanner that night andon his way to a conference the
next day and he called Tanner onhis way down to let him know he
(14:38):
was on his way and he didn'tanswer.
And he got down there andTanner didn't answer.
The door of his house.
My husband called his phone.
He didn't answer and for somereason we don't know how it got
there but we had his garage dooropener in our car.
We have no clue, we don't knowwhy it was there, but we had his
(15:03):
garage door opener.
So my husband went in and hefound him and he had passed in
his sleep.
He'd been having some hearttrouble that wasn't being taken
too seriously, but his heartjust stopped and my husband
(15:25):
found him and needless, to say.
You know, it was just unbearablyhard.
My husband had to call me onthe phone, I was home alone and
(15:47):
you know.
So that kind of started thisperiod of me reflecting back on
that year and all those tendermercies that Heavenly Father had
given us, going back to thishouse that we moved into and how
(16:08):
that played into this.
Had we found a home in thatother state, in the young single
adults ward, we would not havehad the support that we needed
in the past, because singleadults just aren't you know,
(16:30):
it's just not something thatthey're going to do, but this
board that we moved into.
they were amazing and I knowthat Heavenly Father as much as
I begged him to help us find aplace in the other state and I
(16:52):
felt like he wasn't listeningbecause it just wasn't happening
.
I looked back on it andrealized he knew what I needed
so how old was Tanner?
He was 31.
He wasn't married, he was mybaby, he was the youngest of the
family and, yeah, so, you know,looking back on that year, I
(17:18):
just I realized that HeavenlyFather was preparing me by
moving us into this other stake.
I realized that Heavenly Fatherwas preparing me by moving us
into this other stake, into thisamazing ward that we're in, by
(17:40):
making sure we had those familypictures done and then giving us
that Christmas with just him.
All these things that I justthought, you know, nothing's
working out, ended up workingout just the way Heavenly Father
wanted them to work out.
Yeah, so I'm so grateful to himfor those tender mercies that
(18:05):
he gave us.
So the next part of my story isI just wanted to share that.
We know Tanner's been with usevery step of the way for the
past two years and some of thethings that have happened over
the last two years still justboggles my mind.
But I was supposed to go toHawaii.
(18:31):
Um, the week after Tannerpassed and of course I canceled
that trip, and a few monthslater my friend, who was I, was
supposed to be going with her.
She's a flight attendant, soshe was just flying me over with
her.
She called me up and she says,karen, it's time I need to get
(18:53):
you away.
You're going to Hawaii with me.
And I thought, okay, I'm justgoing to go.
Tanner was always kind of mytravel buddy because my husband
worked retail, which, if youknow retail, you work all the
time.
So, tanner being single, we dida lot of traveling together
(19:15):
Disney World, las Vegas, we'vebeen to Texas, and so going to
Hawaii without him just kind offelt wrong, right, but I went
and the first day we got therewe went snorkeling and when we
(19:38):
were done I guess I was justfeeling guilty, I don't know For
being there and enjoying myself, I don't know, just being there
without him.
So I was having a really,really hard time.
And my friend's, like do weneed to take you back to the
(20:04):
Airbnb?
I'm like, yes, we do.
Well, before I tell you what wecame back to, I have to give you
a little bit of background onmy son.
He was a Lego artist and hewould make these amazing mosaics
like portraits of Marvel andStar Wars characters and gaming
(20:30):
characters.
They were amazing.
Yeah, lego was his life.
I mean, from the time he was alittle boy, everything was Lego.
His whole house was decoratedwith Lego.
His whole house was decoratedin Lego.
Okay, it was amazing, and hesold his designs online.
(20:51):
Three days after he passed, hewas recognized by an
international magazine for hiswork.
Yeah, well, when we came backto our Airbnb, outside our door,
(21:15):
on this big patio that's outfront, it was covered in giant
Lego.
In giant Lego, I mean, of allthe hundreds of Airbnbs we could
have stayed at Tanner, I knowthat Tanner made sure we stayed
(21:37):
at the one where he could showme that he was with me.
Scott Brandley (21:43):
Mm-hmm.
Karen Poulsen (21:46):
Wow.
So, yeah, this giant Lego allover the yard.
That kind of got me through thenext few days.
I was like, okay, I can do this, I can do this, he's with me.
And I think it was on thefourth day.
I was having another hard dayand I was just down on these
(22:12):
rocks and talking to a turtlethat was down by my feet and I
was crying to this turtle howmuch I miss him.
And again my friend came up tome and says how much I miss him.
And again my friend came up tome and says, so I need to get
you back.
And I'm like, yeah, I need togo back.
So we got up to leave and Iturned around on this rock.
(22:36):
It etched into the rock rightbehind where I was sitting were
the letters K-E-M that's myson's middle name.
Alisha Coakley (22:52):
Kim Kim.
That's such a unique middlename too.
It's not like Lee or Dan, oryou know.
Karen Poulsen (23:05):
E-M-M-I-S, and we just gave him Kim as a middle
name.
It was also my older brother'skind of nickname.
His friend used to call him Kim, so we gave that as a middle
name to Tanner and it was etchedin the rock.
Scott Brandley (23:24):
Wow, that's crazy.
Karen Poulsen (23:28):
It literally blew my mind.
Yeah, I don't know how heorchestrated it, but I know
somehow he did that to let meknow that he was there with me.
Wow, he did that to let me knowthat he was there with me, wow.
And then, a few days later, onour way home, we were in the
(23:51):
airplane.
We were just taking off fromthe island.
Beautiful, beautiful weather.
It did not rain the whole timewe were there and we're just
leaving the island and I wastelling my friend you know,
telling her, thank you that Iknew Tanner was there with me
(24:14):
and we looked out the window andthe most beautiful rainbow,
right off the wing of ourairplane, but it hadn't been
raining and I just knew Tana wassaying it's okay, I'm still
(24:36):
here, you know, everything'sgoing to be okay.
And again and again, that'sjust one little small part of
the story.
I'm going to back up a littlebit to right after he passed.
One other thing about Tanner ishe had a condition called
(24:59):
hyperhidrosis which made himsweat, and so he kept his house
at 63 degrees in the middle ofwinter.
Wow, he put his house infreezing cold oh man, Really
really cold.
But again, a tender mercy aboutthat, is it preserved Tanner's
(25:22):
body, because we figured he laidthere for almost two days?
Alisha Coakley (25:25):
Oh, wow.
Karen Poulsen (25:27):
And anyways, again, 63 degrees is what he
kept it set at.
Well, oh wait, I want to backup.
I'm sorry, I'm going to back upand tell a different story
before I go into that one.
Scott Brandley (25:44):
Okay.
Karen Poulsen (25:49):
Two nights after we found Tanner.
We found him on a Sunday night.
On Tuesday night I still hadnot slept.
So Sunday night I didn't sleep.
Monday night I didn't sleep.
Tuesday night I didn't sleep andI was making notes in my phone
(26:10):
for his funeral.
You know, seven weeks beforeTanner passed, his best friend,
who is also his cousin, lost hiswife and child.
Yeah, and at her funeral, justthree weeks before, they
couldn't get this was in Buffalo, new York, and they couldn't
(26:30):
get her body out of Buffalo, newYork, because of the storms
that year.
So they didn't have the funeral.
She died December 22nd and theydidn't have the funeral until
the end of January.
And at that funeral her parentsspoke and Tanner said to me
(26:52):
that he thought it was sowonderful that her parents could
get up there and speak at herfuneral.
So I knew when Tanner passed,that's what I needed to do, that
I needed to speak.
(27:12):
To do that, rick, they neededto speak.
So anyways, on Tuesday night itwas 4.06 in the morning, I was
on my phone making notes fortheir funeral and at 4.06 I laid
my phone down on the nightstandand laid back back down and I
(27:34):
heard Honey, mom, and Iimmediately started crying.
I knew who it was and I knewexactly where he was.
I couldn't see him, but I knewhe was just off to the left
above me and I told him how muchI missed him.
(28:00):
And Tanner had not been activein the church for some time.
He was an amazing young man,but he was not active in church.
But he was not active in churchand he said to me Mom, I want
(28:24):
you to know that Granny set mestraight.
He was very close to his Granny.
He had passed by, let's see,five years ago, I believe, no,
six years ago, anyways.
So Granny had set him straightand he said I have a lot of work
(28:47):
to do, but I promise I'm goingto get it done.
And then, and then, and then hethanked me for what we were
doing and I'm assuming he meantthe funeral and then he asked me
(29:10):
to add another honorarypallbearer.
It was a girl that he workedwith, because we had added all
the guys he worked with, whichis normal to have guys as your
pallbearers.
He asked me to add this girland I told him we could do that.
(29:32):
And then he told me he says Mom, I'm not really into flowers,
would you mind asking people tobring a small, simple set of
Lego to donate to my clients.
He was a behavior analyst andhe worked with intellectually
(29:52):
handicapped adults and he wantedLego to donate to these clients
and I told him we could do that.
And then he told me I looked sotired and he said I needed to
roll over and go to sleep.
(30:13):
And he said I needed to rollover and go to sleep and I told
him I couldn't sleep and he toldme he says I promise I'll stay
right here by you, just go tosleep.
(30:35):
So I rolled over to face myhusband and he was looking right
at me and he asked me what wasgoing on.
So I told him that Miss Tanner,him talking to me and of course
he's like first thing in themorning we're writing this all
(30:57):
down, which we did.
Well.
Over the next few weeks I kindof started to doubt if it had
really happened.
I knew it had, but part of mewas like how, how did that
really happen?
Was it really him?
My oldest daughter boughttickets to go.
(31:25):
I have to preface this with Ihave never believed in mediums.
Part of me, I mean, I stillbelieve most of them are fake.
However, my daughter invited meto go see a medium in this
(31:45):
group setting and I thought,okay, you know I'll go, I don't
believe in this stuff at all.
But we went and I told mydaughter I says you know, even
if this was real, tannerwouldn't come through because he
would be the one tellingeverybody else you go first, you
(32:06):
go first.
And he didn't come through andhe didn't.
But I knew some of the peoplethat were there and a part of me
believed this woman because shewas telling them things that I
knew there was no way she couldknow.
Well, that kind of softened myheart a little bit, I think.
(32:30):
But the next day she was givinga seminar on living your best
life and so my husband and I andmy daughter went.
This was three weeks afterTanner passed and my husband and
my daughter were on their lunchbreaks and had to leave for me.
But when we first came in Itold my husband, tanner's here,
(32:55):
I can feel him.
And I felt him so, so strongly.
And after an hour my husbandand my daughter left and I just
sat there during the seminarbecause again, I could just feel
Tanner there with me.
And when it was over, everybodywent up to the front to talk to
(33:22):
this lady and I just sat therefeeling Tanner's presence.
After a while I thought, okay,I don't want to look like one of
her groupies, so I'm going toget up and leave.
And so I got up and this was inthe basement.
I was walking up the stairs toleave, somebody say excuse me?
And I turned around and it wasthis woman and she asked me if
(33:45):
I'd come back down.
She wanted to talk to me for aminute.
So she excused everybody andtook me into a corner and she
says was that your husband thatcame in here with you?
And I said yes.
And she says well, I have tolet you know, there was a young
man who came in with you and hewas standing behind her husband.
(34:11):
He kept saying I love you, dad.
She says was that your son?
And I said yes.
And she says I have a feelingthat he passed very recently,
(34:39):
and I told her yes, it was threeweeks ago.
And she says well, he's stillhere and he wants to talk with
you.
Then she told me.
She says she started holdingher heart.
(34:59):
She says he passed verysuddenly in his sleep.
It was his heart.
This woman doesn't know me Ihad not posted anything about
any of this on social mediaother than recent past.
There's no way she knew any ofthis.
But at that point I started, myheart really started to soften
(35:28):
and thinking okay, there'ssomething with this woman.
And she went on to tell me thatmy son was showing her a
rainforest.
And I'm like I don't knowanything about a rainforest.
She says, well, it's thesegreen hills and there's a big
body of water and it's drizzling.
(35:50):
And he says he's on a spiritualjourney in this place.
And she says he was also on ajourney in this place on earth.
And I knew at that point thiswas New Zealand.
My son had taken off for fourand a half months.
(36:12):
He needed to find himself andhe had, like, flunked out of
college.
Um didn't know what he wantedto do with his life and he just
decided he was going to gobackpack through New Zealand and
and that's where he went.
And that's where he went.
And the pictures that he sentus were of Wellington Bay.
(36:37):
It's a big body of water withthese big green hills, and it
rained every day he was there.
He went in their winter orsummer, and so I knew that's
what she was talking about andshe says that he was on a
spiritual journey there.
He was on a similar journeyhere during that 20, new Zealand
(36:59):
.
My son realized what he wantedout of life.
He knew exactly what he wantedto do when he came home.
He got back in the school.
He got straight A's.
He went on to get his master'sdegree.
So yeah, he had a similarjourney on earth in New Zealand,
(37:22):
but he was on a spiritualjourney down in this place.
She went on to tell me thatthere was another spirit there
with him.
She went on to tell me thatthere was another spirit there
with him and this other spiritwas presenting with a football
(37:44):
jersey.
And she says that she thoughthis number might be a 13.
She wasn't sure, but he haddied of a head trauma and that
he was attached to my thirdchild.
My third child is my other sonand I immediately thought, well,
(38:04):
maybe this was his friend thathe lost to a brain tumor when he
was 10 years old.
And she said, no, that's nothim.
And she says he's showing me along stretch of road with a bend
in the end and she says it wasan accident.
He died in a car accident and Iknew exactly who she was
talking about.
(38:24):
It was my son's friend, hisname was Cade and again, he was
on this long stretch of road.
They went to pass a car and gothit by a diesel and he was
killed instantly and anyways, atthat point they told her okay,
(38:47):
I know who you're talking about.
And she says he wants you toknow that he decided to help
your son transition out.
And she says he wants you toknow that he decided to help
your son transition.
Now I want to back up to againthis home that we moved into.
Guess who our neighbors are?
The mother and father of Kate,wow.
Scott Brandley (39:14):
Wow.
Karen Poulsen (39:16):
Wow yeah.
And back when they had losttheir son again.
That was 18 years ago now, whenthey had lost their son.
I remember thinking, if thatever happened to me, I hope I
can handle it just like they are, because they were consoling
(39:40):
everybody in town.
They forgave the young man whowas actually driving that car
who tried to pass the vehiclewhen the diesel was coming, when
the stay soul was coming, andthey forgave him.
They held no ill will towardshim and I just thought you know,
(40:05):
I hope I can be like that.
Well, my husband called me tolet me know that Tanner passed.
The first thing that came to myhead that night was okay, karen
, you have a choice.
(40:27):
You can choose to be like themor not.
I chose at that moment that Iwanted to be like these
neighbors, like Kate's parents,and it's just all these things
that just Heavenly Fatherorchestrated these things,
(40:51):
knowing I was going to need them.
I was going to need them as myneighbors.
And when I was talking toCade's brother and telling him
of this incident or whateverthat I had with this medium, and
(41:19):
that his brother had helped himtransition, he says you know,
it's funny you say that because,since Cade passed.
Their family is always talkingabout how they hope that on the
other side that Cade's missionis to help others pass over.
Alisha Coakley (41:46):
That's so random .
Oh, my goodness, yeah, wow.
Karen Poulsen (41:55):
I know that.
I know Heavenly Fathers areaware of us.
I, you know, again, I don'tnormally believe in mediums, but
I do believe that this womanlives very I don't know.
I think the veil is very thinfor her and she's really been a
(42:21):
blessing.
I do have a couple otherstories that are just kind of
crazy as well.
Shortly after Tanner passed, wewere getting ready for bed and
it was just cold.
In my house we have our heaterset at 72.
(42:44):
This is the middle, middle ofwinter and Rick's in bed and I'm
washing my face and I'm justcold and they go in and kneel
down to say my prayers and myteeth are chattering when I'm
done.
I said to Rick what's herheater set at?
He says I haven't touched it.
So I went in and I looked atthe thermostat and it was 69.
(43:08):
And so I told Rick, my husband,he says well, go check the
breaker.
So I did.
The breaker wasn't flipped,everything was funny.
And I come back.
The thermostat's at 68.
Then 67.
I'll direct this.
He says you need to godownstairs and look at the
(43:29):
furnace, see what's going on.
So he went down the furnace.
Everything was funny.
He went back up 65.
, 64.
65, 64.
He got down to 63, which iswhere Tanner kept his thermostat
(43:56):
.
And I said to Rick, it's TannerLetting us know he's here.
And as soon as I said that, ourburn was kicked on and all
these things just sound crazy.
But there's no otherexplanations for him other than
(44:16):
Tanner letting us know he's here, that he's with us.
A few weeks later we finallyfelt like we could go through
all the cards and everythingthat people had sent us, and so
I sent her reading the cards andagain I'm just starting to
shiver.
And so I got up and went overand looked at the thermostat.
(44:39):
It was down to 69.
It's starting to drop.
And I just said, okay, tanner,we know you're here.
And the furnace kicked open.
Wow, I don't know how toexplain these things.
It just don't you explain thesethings.
(45:04):
It just Another experience myson before my other son, before
I went to Hawaii.
He'd gone a few weeks before mewith his wife and they went to a
Buddhist temple over there andapparently when you go inside
they have a little table next totheir big Buddhist statue where
(45:28):
you can put mementos of yourlost loved ones.
And so him and his wife were inthere and they're like, oh, I
wish we didn't have a Lego toput here for Tanner.
But they didn't, and so theywent and they left, and they
went out to their rental car andas my daughter-in-law was
starting to get in the car, shelooked down at the ground and
(45:50):
right there on the ground,outside her door, was a Lego.
So she picked it up.
They went right back inside.
But she says, thatgo piece wasnot there when she got out of
(46:13):
her car, and I mean, I could goon and on.
There's so many of thesedifferent things that that have
happened, but it's just amazingto know that our loved ones are
still here.
You know, I think we just haveto be open to the ideas that
(46:38):
they are trying to communicatewith us in those little ways
that they are trying tocommunicate with us and those
little ways that they can.
My granddaughter she justturned 15, but a few months ago
she was really struggling.
She was very, very close to 10.
And she likes to think that shewas his favorite.
(47:03):
May have been, and she wasreally struggling and I was at
her house and she came into mybedroom and was talking to me
and she was just having a hardtime wondering why Tanner was
giving these messages toeverybody else.
But she hadn't gotten them andI told her.
I says, addie, you just have tohave faith that he's there with
(47:25):
you all the time.
Just have faith that he's there.
The next morning she left forschool really early and I wasn't
up yet, but I got this textmessage from her with this
picture and she says Grandma, Igot up this morning and I played
a wordle game.
It's the game on her phone.
(47:47):
You won't believe what thefirst word was, and she took a
screenshot of it.
It was faith.
Scott Brandley (47:57):
Aww.
Karen Poulsen (47:58):
Wow, do you think that was Tanner?
I know it was Tanner.
You know he is there with you.
So I think we have to be openand just know that they are here
(48:19):
with us.
They're here to help us andHeavenly Father's aware of all
of it, and he's there to help usthrough this.
We just have to turn to Him andrecognize those things as
tender mercies.
Alisha Coakley (48:42):
I love that you've had all of these like,
like well, they're big.
I mean they.
They may sound kind of littlebut they're, they're in your
face, big, like evident umexperiences and stuff like that
that do show you that Tanner isaround.
And I also love what you saidearlier about how, how um, the,
(49:05):
the friend's parents, the youngman who passed in the accident,
how you recognize, in the momentthat Tanner passed, that you
had an example to look to, likesomeone that you could, you
could um model yourself and yourgrief after, and what kind of
person you wanted to be.
Because I think and this youhaven't shared this yet, but I I
(49:27):
would love for you to kind ofshare with our listeners Um,
you're getting all of thesethings from from Tanner.
You're getting all theseexperiences, all these little
little God nods, you know, um,showing you that our loved ones
are still around and you're alsokeeping Tanner's memory alive.
Will you tell us a little bitabout the, the organization that
(49:48):
you've started in his honor,and just kind of where the idea
come from?
Karen Poulsen (49:52):
and I'd love to um again.
You know, like I said, tannerwas very much into Lego.
That rubbed off on our wholefamily Our whole family's into
Lego now, and that startedbefore he passed.
But again, he was very muchinto Lego and he used to build
Lego with his clients Becauseit's very good for helping to
(50:15):
build neural pathways and sogreat for these people who do
have like autism or tbis andlike that.
So legos are very beneficialand they can be used in therapy.
So tanner would build like gowith his clients.
And when tanner had asked me,when he came to me after he
(50:36):
passed and asked me to askpeople to bring small, simple
sets of those were his wordssmall simple sets of lego to
donate to his clients, he he hadalways had this dream of being
(50:56):
able to see a need and fill it,of being able to see a need and
fill it.
That's what he had always toldme.
Just someday he wanted to havethe means to be able to see a
need and fill it and he'd donethat quite a bit before he
(51:19):
passed.
And so when he asked me to havepeople bring these small
symbols that said Legogo, I justthought, you know this is one
way we could help canner stillfulfill that read of seeing a
need and filling it.
And um, we started a non-profitit's's called the I Love Us
Project, which a few years ago,at Valentine's Day, tanner had
(51:46):
made a post on Facebook and ithad a picture of our family and
it said at the bottom of thispicture, I may be the loner in
the middle, but I sure have someamazing examples of what love
is in my life and then it said Ilove us.
(52:07):
So that's where we got the namefor this project, the I love us
project, and we collect Legosets and we distribute them to
organizations that work withintellectually handicapped
people.
(52:28):
So that's what we're doing inhis honor to help keep that
dream of his going of being ableto see a need and feel it.
You may not be able to see orfeel all the types of needs that
he, that he saw, but this wasone that we could, so this was
just our effort to fulfill thisdream wow that's awesome yeah, I
(52:56):
love that so much.
Alisha Coakley (52:57):
I, um, I know that, um, that grief is probably
like, just in my opinion, fromwhat I've been able to
experience in talking withothers and hearing stories like
yours um, grief is probably theone thing that just really
(53:17):
doesn't end.
It changes, but it reallydoesn't end, and we, we either
get bitter or we get better fromit.
And it is so easy to do bothand I know that sounds crazy,
but it really is so easy to doboth.
It is so easy to find thebeauty when you're looking for
(53:39):
it, but it's also really reallyeasy to find all of the ugly
stuff too.
It's easy to go into the.
You know what should havehappened and what could have
happened and whatever else.
But it's also easy to look tothe future and say what's what
I'm going to do now?
You know, what is that nextright thing that I'm going to do
(53:59):
?
What's the next best step?
How am I going to continue onin such a way that I don't let
this be a meaningless experience?
You know, and I just I when Ihear families like yours who are
coming together after losingloved ones, who are looking for
(54:24):
ways that they can see theLord's hand and be part of the
Lord's hands.
It just is such a beautiful,beautiful thing and and I really
really appreciate everythingthat you and your family are
doing, um, to just kind of be apart of of that work that
heavenly father put Tanner onthis earth for and, you know, by
(54:47):
extension, put you guys on thisearth for too.
I um I know that some people umlistening to the show, they
might've gotten caught up on thewhole medium thing, right,
cause there's I mean, we just wedon't know there's not a lot of
information on it.
Um, the thing that we hear inthe church is always, like, you
know, stay away from them.
But I would also like to pointout that, um, that it's not like
(55:10):
you were going out and you werepaying to have this psychic
reading done or something likethat, and the Lord is really
creative and he's going to usepeople, whether they're doing
what's right or not, or whethertheirs is a spiritual gift or if
it comes from something like.
The Lord can still use anybodyand put them in our path at any
point in time.
Look at the photographer friendof yours.
(55:32):
He inspired your photographerfriend, right, and it would have
been so easy for her to say,sure, let's just do it in the
spring, no sweat off her back,but instead she really made it a
point to get you guys in thereearlier, your flight attendant
friend, you know taking you atthat specific time to that
Airbnb and and you know to beable to be in that place.
(55:53):
So I think that, while we don'tnecessarily need to go out and
we don't need to seek for thosepeople, we can be open to what
heavenly father brings in ourlife.
And the most important thing andyou've mentioned this in just
little things is is that we haveto do our part to stay close to
the Lord, first and foremost,so that we can recognize when
(56:14):
those are spiritual experiences,and and so that we can hear him
, and, and so that we can hearhim, we can hear our loved ones,
um, and the more that that wedo what you were doing, which is
, you know, serving in yourcallings and saying your prayers
at night and and you know, justreally taking all of that pain
(56:35):
and bringing it to the Lord andletting him be your source of of
truth and light to the Lord,and letting him be your source
of of truth and light.
It's okay.
It's okay If the things thatcome into our life to show us
where the Lord's at, if theydon't look traditional, right it
because it can all be used toour good.
So, um, I don't know, sorry, I,I, I don't know where I'm going
(56:58):
with all that, but I just Sorry, I don't know where.
Scott Brandley (56:59):
I'm going with all that, but I just I really
that was really good, Alisha.
Yeah, I think tender mercies,the way God shows us tender
mercies is just almost likeshocking every time it happens,
Because you're like like havinghis name on the rock behind you,
I know.
What are the odds of that?
(57:20):
I mean, there's it's just crazy.
Karen Poulsen (57:25):
If it hadn't happened to me, I don't know if
I'd believe it, you're right.
We had to take pictures of allof this because it was just so
in your face, Hi, Mom.
I do have one other littleexperience I'd love to share,
just to top this all off.
Like I said, Tanner had told mehe was on the spiritual journey
(57:49):
your granny said it straightand he had work to do.
So after he had passed, we hada Relief Society Temple trip and
we went and I was so hoping tofeel Tanner there and I didn't.
I did not feel him there.
It was heartbreaking.
(58:09):
And a couple months later Iwent again and again I didn't
feel him there and I said why?
Why am I not feeling him here?
Because I knew he said he wasworking on it, and then we had
set the appointment to haveTanner's work done for him, and
(58:29):
this was in July.
And so our family all went tothe temple together and did
Tanner's work.
And when me and my one daughterand my daughter-in-law were
sitting there in the chapelwaiting for my husband and my
son and my son-in-law to come inwe're just sitting there and I
(58:56):
heard two words I'm here.
And at dawn he couldn't bethere before, he couldn't be at
the temple before, but he washere now because we were doing
(59:16):
his work for him and he wasthere out because we were doing
his work for him and he wasthere.
And then, as the sessionstarted, as we're walking into
the room, my husband, my son andmy son-in-law come in.
My son-in-law goes in first,Then my husband goes in and he
(59:39):
leaves a blank chair between himand my son-in-law, and then my
son comes in and sits next to myhusband and I looked over there
and my first thought was well,why isn't he sitting with my
son-in-law?
And then the whole time I keptlooking over there and I could
just imagine Tanner sittingthere.
Just imagine Tanner sittingthere.
(01:00:00):
And so, when the session wasover, me and my daughter, we
were waiting for my husband tocome through, who was Tanner's
proxy.
And there's kind of this thingabout Tanner he's the one that
(01:00:23):
he's so polite.
It's like I was telling youhe'd be the one saying you go
first.
You go first Because that'sjust Tanner.
And so we're waiting for myhusband to come through, and my
daughter turned to me.
She says is it weird that I'mexpecting Tanner to come through
(01:00:43):
?
I says no, because I'mexpecting the same thing.
And she says I bet you he'll bethe last one.
Sure enough, my husband camethrough.
He was the very last person tocome through.
No, we didn't see Tanner comethrough.
(01:01:06):
We saw my husband.
But it was just likedisconfirmation, those little
things, knowing that if that hadbeen physically Tanner, he
would have been the one sayingyou go first, you go first yeah,
you go first, he's the last oneto come through.
(01:01:30):
We know he was there.
He accepted everything Awesome.
Alisha Coakley (01:01:41):
Oh, karen, that was, that was a lot.
There was a lot of beautiful,yeah, just really touching.
Very touching.
Yeah, thank you so much forcoming on here today and for
sharing Tanner and and yourstory and your miracles and
stuff like that, and we reallyreally appreciate it.
(01:02:04):
Before we um sign off, is thereanything else that you'd like
to to leave with our listeners?
Karen Poulsen (01:02:13):
just be open, to be open and be looking for those
beautiful, tender mercies inyour life and know where they
came from.
They're not coincidences,heavenly Fathers.
In the details of our life, inevery little detail, as far back
(01:02:36):
as 18 years ago, putting thatthought in my head that I ever
get faced with this is 18 yearsago, putting that thought in my
head that if I ever get facedwith this, I want to be like
them Again.
Even that far back, heavenlyFather was watching me and
preparing me for what I wouldface in the South.
Scott Brandley (01:03:05):
Yeah, wow.
One thing I love about yourstory is just you're very
grateful for everything thatGod's given you, and all these
tender mercies, I mean youwouldn't be able to truly
(01:03:29):
appreciate them without thefaith that you have and the
knowledge of the gospel.
Alisha Coakley (01:03:35):
Yeah, absolutely , just talking a few minutes ago
about how you had expected toto see Tanner and feel Tanner in
these different places, andthen he wasn't there and you're
like why aren't you showing upin the same thing with your
granddaughter?
You know like, why isn't hegiving me things too?
So I think sometimes we weyearn so much for those, those,
(01:03:56):
those things to be shown to usat a certain time, in a certain
place and in a certain way, thatwhen it doesn't happen and when
those expectations aren't met,it's really really easy for us
to to lose our faith and say,well then, obviously, obviously,
you know they can, they're notstill here, or heavenly father
doesn't see me, or he doesn'tknow me.
(01:04:16):
But one of the things that thatI went through was kind of
similar to your granddaughter,where I had all these people
that were talking to me about mybrother and and about these
things that had happened to them, and I mean people that like
maybe weren't even as close tohim, would have these
experiences, and I was veryjealous.
What hello, like I was yourfavorite sister.
(01:04:40):
We all know that, right, right,you know, like, why is it that
you're not showing up to me anddoing all of these things?
And um, and there was one pointwhen, um, when I was in the
temple and I just kind of hadthis like, uh, I was irritated,
like I was just feeling reallyirritated because I was just
expecting something and I hadn't, and I was still really angry
in the grief and um, and I justhad this like I don't even know
(01:05:04):
how to explain it.
It was almost as if I had thispicture in my head of my brother
plopping down in the chair nextto me, nudging me with his
elbow and being like I'm so busy, stop whining.
You know, it was like this.
It was totally him and it wasjust like I have things I'm
doing too.
I can't just come and baby you,you know like, suck it up
(01:05:24):
cupcake, go do what you have todo.
And that was just like ourrelationship.
You know, it was very much likewe just get stuff done and and
I'm doing stuff and you need togo do stuff too.
I can't, I can't sit here andplay with you right now.
Like, just let me think.
And, and I thought about thatand I thought, you know,
sometimes, heavenly father, letsthem come through to us because
(01:05:46):
we need it, and sometimes heknows that we're okay without it
.
So it's okay.
If you're, if you're someone whoisn't getting those signs and
stuff, it's probably becauseheavenly father and your loved
one, they know that you reallydon't need them.
You want them but you reallyreally don't need them, you know
(01:06:07):
.
And so their energy and theirtime is going to be spent in a
way that is going to be for thegood of all and for the building
of the kingdom and for buildingof testimony.
But there's still work that youcan do too.
Even even in your heartbreak,you can find good, you can be
good, you can produce the good,and so I think that's, um, it's
when we do that that all of asudden, we get so busy that we
(01:06:28):
forget to look like for thenitty gritty things, but we see
better.
It's.
It's like we, we change ourperspective.
You know, we're not just likelasered on one thing, where
we're able to actually go backand like see a bigger scope of
all of the beautiful things thatHeavenly Father has for us.
So, um, I really appreciatethat, that, that you're doing
(01:06:49):
that, and I hope that youcontinue to see so many
beautiful things you know inyour future and and with your
family and stuff of Tanner'spresence with you guys.
You know in your future andwith your family and stuff of
Tanner's presence with you guys,absolutely.
Karen Poulsen (01:07:03):
You look for it.
I mean, again those bigin-your-face things have slowed
way down, like you said.
I think it's because he knowsthat we're okay now.
Scott Brandley (01:07:15):
Yeah.
Karen Poulsen (01:07:19):
And we're going to be okay, so, and that's okay.
Okay, we know he's busy now andwe wouldn't want it any other
way yeah, and it's not the end.
Alisha Coakley (01:07:30):
No, right, like we're promised through the
atonement and the resurrectionof Jesus Christ, that we, we,
and the resurrection of JesusChrist that we, we will see them
again.
We're going to be together.
You know, families really areforever and and the gospel is
(01:07:54):
real and and Christ made itpossible, so that's uh, I just
wish everybody could know thatyeah, yeah, well, karen, you got
me makeup off, oh man what you,what you said is true.
Scott Brandley (01:08:20):
You know.
Know, like I wish that too.
I wish everyone could know theblessings of the knowledge of
the gospel, because it makessuch a huge difference.
I mean, my dad passed awayunexpectedly a couple of years
ago and I guess I didn't needthe God knew I didn't need that
(01:08:40):
reassurance because of ourrelationship and I was okay with
that.
But if I, if, if I needed it,he, he would have given it to me
.
You know, and we each needdifferent things at different
points in our lives.
I mean, I don't know how Iwould take it if it was one of
my kids versus my dad, right andso, but yeah, I like man
(01:09:06):
sometimes, I just like inside,you know, I just wish so, so
much that people couldunderstand the blessings of the
gospel, because it does make ahuge difference, especially when
something traumatic happenslike this.
And thank you so much forsharing your story and I think
(01:09:29):
it will touch people's hearts.
Karen Poulsen (01:09:32):
I appreciate you guys letting me share Absolutely
.
He was an incredible young man.
Alisha Coakley (01:09:48):
He definitely seems.
So yeah, I, I, I, um, just youcan see in the pictures of him
and and especially on thewebsite that you guys have set
up in his honor and everythinglike that, he just exudes
happiness and fun and love, andI love just the funkle of the
family the grandkids absolutelyadored him and he was a favorite
(01:10:12):
sibling.
Karen Poulsen (01:10:14):
He lived with each of his his brother and his
sisters at some point in hislife he has lived with them.
He was roommates with his oldersister for like six years, I
think.
Oh wow, lived with his othersister while his house was being
built.
He lived with his brother andhis wife when he was in school,
(01:10:35):
in college, for a while.
Alisha Coakley (01:10:37):
So I mean, you know, and then he got christmas
with you guys at the, the lastone, so spent a little time with
everybody you did.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Well, karen, if listeners, um,if they would like to donate a
set of legos in tanner's honor,can you?
We'll share the link too, butcan you let them know where they
(01:10:59):
can do that or how they can dothat?
Karen Poulsen (01:11:01):
you can go to iloveusprojectcom, okay, and
there is a support button and ora shop button.
We also sell, like lego jewelry.
Oh, okay, nice, yeah, I wearmine all the time.
I hope you can see that Legobrick that's awesome.
(01:11:21):
And all proceeds go towardsLego for these individuals.
Alisha Coakley (01:11:28):
Oh, that's amazing.
Do you have space for otherpeople who might be working with
individuals with intellectualand developmental disabilities
to reach out and get a part?
Karen Poulsen (01:11:41):
of this On the on the website.
Yes, they can contact usthrough there and we've arranged
to get a shipment out to them,okay amazing, yeah, well, yeah,
listeners, definitely.
Alisha Coakley (01:11:55):
Um, take a minute and and go visit that
website, see how you guys cansupport this cause and um and
support the family and Tanner'shonor.
I I just think it's such abeautiful thing and it's a
little thing, you know, but itmakes such a such a world of of
difference for for people, um tofeel seen and to feel loved and
(01:12:16):
and to be able to do thingsthat can help them to better
themselves.
So, um, we'll definitely sharethe link for for that in the
description here and we, youknow, are so appreciative for
you, karen, for coming on heretoday.
We appreciate our listeners toofor tuning in.
Um guys, if you could just dous a huge favor and share
(01:12:38):
Karen's story, that would beincredible.
We got our five secondmissionary work.
It only takes a second to dosomething great and get the
story out there and and leaveKaren a comment.
Let her know what your favoritepart of the of you know her
journey so far has been thatyou've been able to hear.
Scott Brandley (01:12:53):
Yeah, if you have a story like Karen's that
you'd like to share, or anotherstory about faith, go to
latterdaylightscom and let'shave you on the show.
Alisha Coakley (01:13:07):
Yeah, absolutely All right guys.
Well, karen, thank you againfor coming on today.
We really appreciate it.
And thank you to everyone fortuning in to another episode of
Latter-day Lights.
Scott Brandley (01:13:20):
Talk to you again next week.
Take care.
Alisha Coakley (01:13:23):
Bye, bye guys.
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