Have you ever wondered how deeply ingrained beliefs influence your decisions?
Join clinical hypnotherapist and empowerment coach Christina L. Woods as she introduces the concept of the "divine curriculum" and emphasizes the power of shedding limiting beliefs to uncover your most authentic self.
This episode is tailored for high-achieving solopreneurs looking to transcend self-doubt and embrace their true potential.
Here are some Key Takeaways from today's episode:
1. Quiet Reflection and Intuition: Embrace the transformative power of quiet reflection and intuition in decision-making. Learn to reconnect with your inner self through methods like hypnosis and journaling.
2. Managing Social Media Distractions: Discover techniques to maintain focus and clarity in a world dominated by social media distractions. Understand the importance of sitting with your thoughts for personal growth.
3. Journaling and Introspection: Explore the profound impact of journaling and introspection on personal and professional growth. Learn how to manage emotions stored in your body's cellular memory and set clear boundaries to shift your identity.
If this episode resonated with you, don't keep it to yourself! Share it with your colleagues, friends, and family to ensure they are supported in their business journey.
Subscribe and Rate ⭐️ our show to help us grow and provide more valuable content to you.
Gifts from our guest Christina L. Woods - Download a Free Meditation: Limitless Hypno-Meditation.
Want to attract aligned clients with less hustle and more heart?
Follow @nkbizguru on Instagram and get access to Nikisha’s 5-Star SCALE™ Framework at her More Profit, Less Chaos masterclass.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nikisha King (00:00):
Hello, gorgeous, welcome to NK Production Leading
Her Way podcast, where we seethe human, evolving and
resilient spirit in you.
I'm your host, N nikesha King,and welcome to the Identity
Series.
Today you're going to meetChristina L Woods, a clinical
hypnotherapist, rapidtransformational therapist,
(00:22):
empowerment coach and Reikimaster.
Christina has a rich backgroundin corporate leadership and her
personal experiences ofovercoming trauma and
abandonment has allowed her toempower women like you and me to
trust our intuition and breakfree from self-doubt.
As a CEO and founder of her ownpractice, she specializes in
(00:45):
helping us shed programmingthrough deep hypnotherapy and
coaching, guiding us to becomeself-reliant and live the life
that we choose.
Christina is a force in ourworld and I'm so happy to have
her on the Identity Series.
So please relax and enjoy ourconversation on identifying our
(01:07):
core curriculum, aka identityand how it affects our
decision-making process.
Let's dive into episode 59 withChristina L Woods.
Hello Christina, thank you somuch for joining the Leading Her
(01:48):
Way podcast.
I am so excited to have youhere, where we're going to speak
about hypnosis.
We're going to speak aboutdecision making, about your
identity and how that dictatesyour decision making, and I
would love for our audience toget to know you a little bit
better, other than the bio Ishared with them, but tell me,
(02:09):
in regards to what you do, solet them know, and also, how did
you fall in love, or what makesyou do what you do?
Christina L. Woods (02:18):
Thank you so much, nikisha.
So yeah, I am a hypnotherapist,a coach, an energy healer, and
I'm just so grateful I get thisopportunity to have this
incredible second career.
I started it when I was almost50, just like I think Martha
Stewart says she had her careerstarted hers at 50.
So I always remember that.
(02:39):
But I love what I do because Ihelp high achieving women find
their authentic self, theirauthentic voice, and shed
beliefs that cloud that.
Because we all have a divinecurriculum.
You know, an assignment here,these gifts that we're here for
(03:10):
so many times limiting beliefsor beliefs that we feel society,
the world, puts upon us for noother reason than that's.
You know, that's the way theworld works.
So the meaning that we attachto things when we're raised and
we go to school and church andour community and that meaning
that we attach to things isreally there to keep us safe.
Our mind does that.
It thinks it's doing a greatthing, but not always.
It's there to protect us andkeep us safe.
Our mind does that.
It thinks it's doing a greatthing, but not always.
It's there to protect us andkeep us safe and for no other
reason.
That's its primary job and forsometimes it puts us in a box.
(03:33):
So my job that I love so much,my why every day, is to help
high achieving women inbusinesses entrepreneurs.
Really just focus on what isyour authentic self and so you
can be your full potential andshed all these other limiting
beliefs and the meaning youattach that might not help you
(03:53):
with your divine curriculum.
Nikisha King (03:55):
Such a good point.
I love that and I'm gratefulthat you're in the world,
because it's a task.
It's a task because we allstart from somewhere as young
human beings, and we are blessedwith family and friends that do
guide us, but they only canguide us from a place that they
know.
So wherever they are in theirlife is what they give to you.
(04:17):
Be in it whatever it is, and Idon't consider it good or bad,
it's just what they know andthey give, but that may not
serve you as you mature intoyour journey.
So I feel like that's alwaysgood to be mindful.
So, in understanding where I am, I'm in my forties now, but I'm
very aware, when I started my40 year journey, that I was
(04:40):
carrying around gifts I wasgiven by my parents, by my loved
ones, by external collegeprofessors, all of it.
They gave me gifts thatminimized who I am, and those
gifts piled up and I couldn'tfind the true I am or my core
curriculum because of all of thestuff I've been given.
(05:04):
So I had to learn how toreanalyze what I was given and
see if it served me, and if itdidn't, I had to give it back, I
had to let it go.
So I think it's amazing aboutwhat you're sharing and what
we're going to be sharing onthis podcast.
In doing the identity series, Ihad an introduction last week
(05:27):
about what identity means, thelabels and all the things we
carry around, but in thisepisode I would love to speak
about how your core curriculumfactors into your
decision-making, because, asbusiness owners, we have a lot
of decisions we make and Ishouldn't say a lot.
It depends on who you are, butI think every day we make
(05:48):
decisions.
Should I put on the shoes?
Should I put on that outfit?
Why am I putting it on?
Why am I doing this?
And I want to know and I have aconversation about our core
curriculum, our identity, our Iam.
How does that affect ourdecisions?
How does that either put us ina box or put us outside the box?
So I want you to share with ushow you define an identity.
(06:13):
How do you help your clientsknow who they are, or how do you
get them to even see where theyare at that point in time?
Christina L. Woods (06:22):
Yeah, Well, any label we give ourselves
limits ourselves.
So you know, we, we can evensay you know I'm, I'm successful
, I'm a corporate, this, I'm afantastic.
Any label limits ourselves.
So you know, that's reallyimportant to understand and it's
it's really important to justtry to shoot for.
(06:44):
And this is in the work that Ido and this was a very hard to
swallow A gift I was given wasyou are a worker bee, you work,
we work in this family.
You know, I worked since I was14, even probably sooner.
Single mother, family, Italianfamily, immigrants.
You know this is what you do,and so that was, that was my
(07:06):
identity and thereforevalidation came from outside
achievements and that was thelens.
Like, okay, that's what I do,that's, that's the lens I can do
that.
I can go get lots of validationoutside.
Until I had to shift that lensto wait, I got lots of
validation outside.
What if I don't get thevalidation?
(07:28):
Does that mean I'm not goodenough on the inside?
So part of that identity withmaking business decisions is
let's find out what lens are welooking through.
The I am, what's, what comesafter the I am really is key to
looking at that, Because if allof our I am's come from outside,
you know, then we really needto take a pause here and find
(07:52):
out, and one of the coreprinciples I work with is based
in something called the Sedonamethod and a coach that I worked
with for a very long time,which is we have these core
values that we all come with,which is, whether you call it
nature, a higher power, whatever, you want something outside of
(08:12):
ourselves, a gift that is justdivinely within us when we're
born, a baby that is born, weall would agree, I believe, that
they're already approved of,they're already have of, they
already have enough abilitywithin themselves to be safe and
in control and approved of,regardless, perhaps, of the
(08:34):
circumstances.
This is their divine right tohave those things.
And I don't know about you, butsometimes I feel approved of.
When a stranger smiles at me onthe street, yes, I could get a
big bonus at work or achieve agoal, and that makes me feel
approved of.
When a stranger smiles at me onthe street, yes, I could get a
big bonus at work or achieve agoal, and that makes me feel
approved of as well.
But when a baby laughs or abutterfly lands on my glass,
it's like whew, that's a sign.
(08:56):
Yes, I feel great.
So approval comes in the mostsurprising ways from life itself
and not always from the waywe've defined it right.
So back to identity.
It's what is the lens thatwe're looking through and making
sure that we haven't given allof our cups of approval, control
(09:17):
and safety out for other people, things, situations,
circumstances to fill up.
And can we take our jars back,our cups back and fill them up
ourselves?
Because when we ask otherpeople's circumstances, our jobs
, our business achievements,business plans, you know all
(09:38):
those things are important.
I have them as, just as much asthe next entrepreneur.
But when everything our identityis based on those things and
then we achieve them or we don'tachieve them or we exceed them,
what we're saying is that isour identity.
And you know I beg to differ.
Our identity, whether weachieve them or not, is guess
(10:00):
what?
We're all enough anyway.
So pulling all those feelersback, those cups back, and
saying let's find a way, becausewe all have an innate need to
feel accepted and not rejected.
And you know this goes back soprimal and tribal, not to want
to be, you know, kicked off therange or the tribe, and you know
(10:24):
we can't survive and so wereally need to understand.
It's a very primal need to feelaccepted.
That is okay.
But finding ways where weinnately understand that it
helps have compassion forourselves, to know like I'm
really wanting acceptance andapproval.
(10:44):
Wait a second.
Yeah, the bank account's greatand there's no shame in wanting
that bank account to grow or tolook good or feel good or all
those things.
But I promise you, when you getthose things, you still might
not feel enough, because that'snot what that identity is about.
Nikisha King (11:04):
That's such a valid point because so many of,
especially, business owners,especially entrepreneurs, when
we think about validation and wecannot, we haven't learned yet
how to get it from within oursales makes us feel high or low.
You get a sale, you feel high.
You don't get a sale, you feellow.
Yes, and usually when we'refeeling low, we're not able to
(11:25):
do the action, we're not able todo the work to generate our
sales, to generate leads, to dothe work.
And it's always interesting tosee how we tie our identity with
the outside.
All the labels you carry, likeyou said, entrepreneur, mother,
spouse, partner, single mom,everything, educator, teacher,
(11:47):
whatever that label is sometimeswe get lost in it and that's
where some of our beliefs comefrom.
If you're a teacher, you'relost in the fact that you have
to get your assessment numbershigh to ensure that you show the
school, the superintendent,that you're doing your job.
(12:07):
Yeah, but you forget.
The reason you became a teacheris because you're really good
at making things easy for peopleto understand.
Christina L. Woods (12:16):
Yeah, and I love that you say that, because
when you connect back with yourwhy, you know your deep why.
Like pause for a second and youknow it's so perfect.
I have teachers in my familyand it's the last few weeks of
school, so they're reallystressed out.
They're really, you know, on,really the kids are not behaving
(12:42):
, the grades are due, theparents are angry, everyone's
stressed out.
But so, whatever your corporateposition is right now in your
business, whatever you do, youknow right now, wherever you're
at decisions, you have to makepause and think about your why
and then pause and think about adeeper why and a deeper why and
a deeper why.
(13:02):
Okay, about a deeper why and adeeper why and a deeper why.
Okay, because when you, you getmore of what you feel and you
get more of what you feel.
So when we're in the okay, yeah, but yeah, but forget what.
Forget about the kids that Iserve.
I've got to turn in my grades.
I got to turn in my grades.
I got to turn in my grades.
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late,I'm late.
(13:23):
That's obviously a mindset ofI'm behind, I'm lacking, I
didn't meet my deadlines.
I'm going to get more of that.
I mean, this is a basicsubconscious mindset cycle
treadmill, and so when we canjust get back to the, why wait a
second?
I love helping.
I love my students.
(13:44):
I'm here to help transformtheir lives.
I'm here to make them betterhuman beings on the earth.
This is why I wake up every day.
Whatever your why is, I'm hereto make a difference in whether
you're in the plumbing world,whatever you do, I love the
people I work with.
I want to make them laugh everyday.
Then that's your why.
(14:05):
And I want to retire in Fijione day and hang out on the
beach Okay, great.
But your why is so important?
Because then, the little thingsthat we need to do or the big
things we need to do, they don'tcloud our why.
Because it's so easy to feelbehind or I didn't do it right,
(14:27):
or gosh forbid.
We go on social media andcompare ourselves and get into
that rat race of comparisonitisor whatever it's called, but
where everyone else looks liketheir business is making a
million dollars in six months.
So it's easy to do that, but weget more of what we feel.
And I see so many entrepreneurs90% of my clients are
(14:50):
entrepreneurs doctors, lawyers,some sort of entrepreneur and
all of them struggle withcomparing themselves to others
or feeling like they're not goodenough or behind.
And why is that?
They're all intelligent,they're all bright, they're all
very successful If you looked atthe numbers, but somewhere
along the line they forgot theirwhy.
(15:10):
And they're looking at all theexternal issues.
And when we quiet the noise andlook at their why, it's so easy
to go okay, that's my why.
Now I got to do this, thesegoals, I got to do this, this
and this, and we're able toquiet and listen to our heart,
because your intuition and youridentity is not in your head,
(15:33):
it's in your body, it's in yourheart, it's in your soul.
Nikisha King (15:37):
That's such a good point.
Now let me ask you a question.
When we talk about the why, howdo you help your clients
discover their why?
Is there an exercise you helpthem do?
Is there a certain frameworkyou give?
Tell me a little bit more aboutthat.
Christina L. Woods (15:53):
Yeah, the first question that I'm looking
for and interested in is whendid a client become disconnected
from themselves at some point?
When did they stop trustingthemselves?
Because it's very interestingAt some point in our lives there
(16:14):
is a moment, usually, when westopped trusting our instincts,
stopped trusting our intuition,perhaps stopped believing that
we could go with our gut and hadto go with our head or logic.
Not that logic is bad, not thatanything analytical is bad.
(16:36):
Of course those things have aplace.
But our intuition is somethingthat is always sort of your true
north, that gut feeling thatsociety has sort of said I don't
know if you should really gowith your gut.
That's really not.
Where's the statistics behindit?
If you listen to your gut andyour heart, how many times have
(17:01):
you said I knew it, I knew it, Iknew it, I knew it, I knew it.
So, to answer your question,yes, I absolutely have a
framework, and the first one,you know, obviously I use
hypnosis, but with anyone youcan do this even without
hypnosis.
But you know, our subconsciousmind is 95% of how we make
(17:23):
decisions and how we see theworld.
Not 5% is our analytical,logical mind.
So if you take a look at thatold picture of the iceberg.
We've all seen the iceberg only5% is above the water.
That is our analyticalconscious mind.
That's what we all think isrunning the ship, driving the
(17:45):
ship, the car.
Guess what?
It's not.
It's underneath the water, it'sthe lens and how you feel about
the world and see the world isthe subconscious mind.
It's the autopilot.
It's when you drive home fromthe grocery store and you don't
remember driving home, andyou're in the driveway or you're
on the train and you're like Idon't even remember if I got off
(18:05):
on the right stop or if I.
I don't even remember how I'mhere in my driveway or I got
home, I it's just happened.
It's how we just sort of dothings.
That's autopilot.
So, quieting your mind, whetherthat's through journaling,
whether that's through running,exercising, just taking some
time to get quiet in hypnosis,I'm able to go back and find out
(18:27):
when was the first time youstopped trusting yourself, you
stopped listening to yourinstincts, and we'll find little
tiny moments where maybe theywere a child or a teenager.
But you can do this on your ownand say you know, I, nikisha,
christina, feel because justlike when, and you can start to
(18:47):
find out, I feel annoyed, I feelanxious because just like when
and you'll start to connect thedots of I feel this way, just
like when I was 14, I felt thisway, or just like when I was 10,
and just start to really sinkinto feelings and thoughts.
But getting quiet isundervalued.
(19:09):
But for your creativity, yourinspiration and the process I go
through is, I'd like to findout.
When did we disconnect withourselves?
Because children go byintuition, right, I don't know
about you, but I have kids andmany times at a birthday party
we pull out the cake and youwould think kids would devour
(19:30):
the cake.
They take one bite, they runaway.
They don't even want it, theywant to play.
I don't know about you, butwith adults they're like when's
the cake coming out?
Like they want the cake.
So the kids, they just go withtheir gut.
They're like no way I'm notstopping playing for cake.
Or a baby.
You try to feed a baby whenthey're not hungry.
They turn their head, they pushit away.
They instinctually know I amnot hungry.
(19:52):
I have eaten plenty of meals asan adult, but I am not hungry
because dinner's down orsomebody's serving me.
I'm at an event, a banquet, aconference.
It's time to eat.
I eat, my stomach is telling meI'm not hungry, but it's time
to eat.
So, no, we have intuition aboutnot just that, we have
intuition about everything.
(20:13):
So it's just finding that andtrusting that again and asking
ourselves when we feel.
And so I'll kind of pause there, but there's a few other steps
in the framework.
What are your thoughts aboutthat?
Nikisha King (20:26):
You said something about quiet.
That is something that I findto be so interesting, because
we're in now an era where wetalk about ADHD and there are
some people who are notdiagnosed, but they still refer
to it, and when they refer to it, they refer to it as not having
(20:49):
the attention span.
Yeah, and then I alwaysquestion if they're not
diagnosed, is it really that?
Or is it you not havingdiscipline or focus?
Because you've been taught thisthrough social media, through
internet, we are jumping fromwindow to window.
If you're bored, you jump toevery social media outlet, like
(21:13):
TikTok.
If that don't hold yourattention, you're in Instagram.
That doesn't hold yourattention and you're from the
old ages Facebook you know whatI mean.
You go down the line and thenwhen you hear all the social
media you have on your phone,then you go right into inbox.
Who's emailing you?
Right, no matter what time ofday, you know you're not
responding.
They are very scared of quiet.
(21:33):
Like to sit with their thoughtsis the scariest thing on earth,
and when I, last December orlast year, I had made a
(21:58):
agreement with myself to learnhow to transition from being a
mom to being a person who cantravel by myself.
I went to a lot of conferencesalone.
I was in hotel rooms alonebecause that was a fear of mine,
right, anything can happen tome.
Fear of mine, right, anythingcan happen to me.
(22:19):
But I had to be realistic.
If you're on a certain floorand you're somewhere, it's just
you can do things to protect,right.
So I had to work on that andlast year I did, which I was
grateful for, and I did havemoments that was so brand new to
me where I felt like I didn'thave anything to do.
I felt like I wasn't doinganything.
I felt like, oh my God, what isthis?
And I felt the buildup of thisfeeling, anxiety even.
Yes, and that's what it is.
(22:40):
I didn't put a name to itbecause I don't know what that
is, but I'm assuming that's whatit was.
And the first thing I did waswent back to a place that I,
when I went to Las Vegas, mybrother introduced me to, a
restaurant.
When I got the anxiety feeling,I went straight back to that
restaurant called Uber and wentstraight there and it eased my
being.
I don't know what it was.
I don't know if it's the foodcomfort or it's.
(23:00):
I know this.
Yes, right, it was.
I know this, yes, so when I wasdoing a last event for last
year, I wanted to walk into thisevent with a different mindset.
The event I went to wasprestigious.
It's a big investment.
I've heard a lot of things saidabout it in regards to people
are pretentious.
People are very much into theirlooks and their energy and it's
(23:24):
not always welcoming.
So I had to decide how would Iwant to show up to this event?
And in order to do that, I hadto learn how to meditate.
So I had to decide again will Iwake up at 5.30 to meditate?
Because around 6, 6.30, I startmy kids prep lunch walk, I
start my routine and I wanted towake up earlier.
(23:46):
And the thing is I added thatto my routine At 5.30, I wake up
and I sat and I would be inquiet because no one else is up
and I would meditate and forsome reason it worked really
well.
So I continued, because when Iwent to that event, the amount
of energy I was giving off wasso good that it felt like I was
(24:07):
high.
I've never been high on drugs,but it was such a high because
of what I was being validated.
I was receiving it from peoplewho didn't know me and they were
able to express my energy.
I mean, they was like, wow,your energy is so good.
They could feel it.
And they didn't know me.
From Adam Eve they didn't knowme.
(24:27):
So I was doing the thing I wasmeditating to do because I was
going to show up in that way.
But my whole point is, when Isit now and quiet, I'm even
working on the silver method.
I don't know if you know, jose,yeah, so I'm doing Mindvalley.
I love it very much.
Christina L. Woods (24:43):
That's how I discovered the hypnosis teacher
that I studied with.
Nikisha King (24:48):
Good, I love that you and I have so much in common
, but I'm starting that processand to sit quiet and to get to a
place where I'm in my alphastage and not in my beta.
It's a gift.
And that gift is to be able toquiet your thoughts.
And I love it because when youquiet your thoughts, your true I
am, your core curriculumappears and it speaks to you and
(25:11):
it guides you, even when youhave those valley moments.
And when you mentioned quiet, Ijust think if some people just
learned how to get quiet, whatcan they achieve?
And when we say this maybe I'mwrong, but Christina is going to
share with us Quiet means youcan silence all those thoughts
(25:32):
that kind of suppress yourability to be who you truly are.
There's so many thoughts we have40 and plus 40,000, plus
thoughts a day.
And thoughts are weird becauseyou have one thought and it
becomes like it takes you on ajourney, like you know how I
said about my shirt being blueand white, and then you could be
(25:54):
like, well, the collar don'tlook right, right.
And you'd be like, well, itdoesn't keep me warm, right, it
just keeps going and going.
I saw my stylist and thishappened.
It's like an entrepreneur whogoes let me give you an example
from an entrepreneur perspective.
I want to do a list, but Idon't know what lead magnet to
put out there.
But if I put this lead magnetout, I might get no clicks.
(26:16):
If I get no clicks, oh my God,it's a failure.
If it fails, I'm not doing it.
They're ready, I'm not doing it.
But they didn't do anything.
They just had a thought aboutit and I'm just like how is that
possible that you have athought and can shut it down in
the same minute and never havedone it to even know if it would
work?
Christina L. Woods (26:38):
Such a good point and I love your
visualization and getting quiet.
One of the hardest well, it'snot the hardest, but one of the
hardest things clients thinkthat I ask them to do is to get
quiet and journal.
I have had clients ask me couldyou just ask me to do something
else, please?
You know a list of 20 thingsplease?
(27:00):
I'm like no, you just need tojournal.
I Susie feel you know, becauseJust start with that and they
squirm and they complain andthey do not want to do it, and
after they do it for a while,okay, then we're going to add
just like when, and then wemight ask that feeling how old
(27:21):
are you feeling?
How old do you think I am?
And I promise you will get somuch valuable insight into your
subconscious just by askingyourself those questions, and
I've had so many.
You know, as a coach, we wantto lead clients there and so
many clients come to me and sayI figured it out.
(27:43):
I know now why you had me dothis.
I I'm ready to leave this lousyrelationship.
I'm ready to go in and talkwith my boss about this
situation or take my business tothe next level.
I see now why I'm stuck at thislevel.
Because I have been thinkingthat if I try that I might fail,
(28:05):
I might be embarrassed,humiliated, just like when, you
know, in third grade I just hada situation a client said you
know she didn't makecheerleading and she was
completely humiliated in hertown.
So you know, our feelings havea cellular memory in our body
and that's important tounderstand and realize that.
(28:26):
That's why I say our intuitionis in our body, it's not in our
head.
So we logically might saythat's ridiculous.
I'm not.
I'm not a cheerleader in highschool anymore, might say that's
ridiculous.
I'm not a cheerleader in highschool anymore.
I'm a 40-year-old executive incharge of a multi-six-figure,
seven-figure business.
That's great, but your bodystill feels like this.
(28:46):
When you feel that way, ittakes you right back.
Your subconscious does not knowhow old you are and it doesn't
care how old you are.
So I want everyone tounderstand that.
So do not feel guilty when youeat cookies at 10 o'clock at
night to make yourself feelbetter, or when you regress and
say I can't put out a leadmagnet because no one will like
me or they'll think it's stupid,because your body is taking you
(29:10):
right back to a cellular memory.
Joe dispenses book how to breakthe habit ofself talks all
about that.
So changing the cellular memoryis how we change our identity,
because our identity is in ourcells, it's in our body.
You change that, you changeeverything.
Nikisha King (29:28):
Exactly, and I would hope the listeners know
that you can change it.
Some people don't think you can, and when I say that I mean you
, not someone else changing you.
You have to change it, you haveto decide.
You want to change it.
Christina L. Woods (29:49):
Yeah, and I love the Latin meaning behind
the word.
Decide is to cut off, and soyou decide, you make a decision
to cut off, and I always sayboundaries are what are you
available for?
I'm not available for believingthat I can't change.
I'm not available for that.
We all have to get to thatpoint.
If we're going to make a bigchoice to change, we have to be
(30:12):
available, for I don't want tofeel this way anymore.
I don't want to feel that way.
I want to feel better.
We might not know how to do ityet, but we have to know.
I got to go get the coach.
I got to read the book.
I got to do the thing.
I got to wake up early.
I got to try this quiet thing.
I have to decide do I want todo something better and do I
(30:33):
want to not be attached to allthis outside validation that
makes me have dopamine and feelgreat?
Well, what if I go to aconference and everyone isn't
friendly?
Does that mean I should nevergo to a conference again or a
mastermind group?
No, because that's not yourvalidation, but that's what we
do, right?
Nikisha King (30:52):
Right, we do.
And it's so interesting becauseif someone's not nice at this
conference, sometimes here's thething it's only one person and
they make it a whole conferenceof 500 people.
That's not nice.
You know what I mean?
That's the other thing.
Let's also look at the factswhen we're making decisions.
Let's not use our emotions todrive the decisions.
(31:13):
Let's not use our emotions todrive the decisions, because
there are moments when you feela certain way and you feel like
everyone's responsible for thatfeeling, and sometimes that's
not the story.
Christina L. Woods (31:33):
Sometimes it's just one person said
something, you interpret it acertain way and now everyone at
the conference is mean, right,right, and asking ourselves is
that even true?
You know, one of the bestpractices that I try to teach
clients is to get to a place ofneutrality.
So, yes, we want to visualize.
You know going into somethingsuccessful and happy and
whatever, let's say it is, goingto a meeting and visualizing
(31:54):
ourselves, you know, beingdynamic and happy and or going
on stage.
You know doing it, doing itreally well, but also seeing
ourselves like, why would I beopposed to failing at it?
Why would I be opposed to maybestumbling on my words and not
doing well?
Why would I be opposed to that?
And is that attached to a fearof approval, control or safety?
(32:17):
Because if we believe if wefail, I'm not approved of, I am
not safe, that's just asdetrimental as it being attached
to I'm validated if I amsuccessful.
So the best place is to beneutral because, guess what?
You're amazing either way.
So when you aren't attached toit, that's freedom.
(32:40):
That is woohoo.
I get to go and I get to be meauthentically me.
Freedom to talk about mybusiness, freedom to go up to
people and, whether they like meor not, go on stage.
Yeah, I missed up a little bit,but you know what?
I'm human, I don't know aboutyou.
I love when I meet authenticpeople.
(33:00):
They aren't perfect, they'reauthentic and you can tell the
people that are like perfectlycurated.
Or the girl walking down thebeach she was like, yeah, she's
not perfect, but man, she's likerocking the confidence.
Nikisha King (33:14):
Yes, and it differs.
It differs when you just said tome, I had an aha moment for me
personally.
Attached, attached, yes, I wasable to have a vision about.
I had a small vision.
It was about me holding books,getting off the elevator,
(33:34):
entering like a loft space andas time went by, I developed
this and this developed into acampus of maybe 10 acres where I
have a lot of landscape.
I have two structures, twobuildings on it that are around
10 stories high and theyactually wouldn't inhabit all of
the brands and businesses I own.
The other one is my coachingand my auditorium where I teach
(33:56):
and speak.
And in order for me to blow thiswhole process from that one
thing, it builds out my wholefuture of what is, it kept going
.
And as I was transforming frommy scarcity to abundance mindset
, there's something thathappened where I could dream, I
can share it, I don't have tosweat when I share it, I don't
(34:18):
get nervous when I share it, andI used to.
But what happened is thatattachment, because when people
create their one-year plan,three-year, five-year plan,
whatever plan, they are soattached to it that they're
scared they're going to fail.
So they decide not to evendream.
Yes, and what I realized iswhen you said that word, I am
(34:43):
very clear that this vision ismine.
No-transcript meaning if ithappens, and I know it is.
If it happens, it happens, andif it doesn't, it doesn't.
But the doesn't doesn't meanit'll never happen, it just
means it can happen and lookdifferent than what I see.
(35:06):
I know it can happen in so manydifferent ways, because that's
my life.
My life is in variables.
There's different ways thingscan come to light.
They don't need to come the wayI envision it, but the vision
gives me the direction to movein.
That's why my decisions areeasier.
Now I know when I'm saying yesto something or no, because my
identity has allowed me tocreate this vision.
(35:28):
So making decisions are justeasier.
What I cut off because itdoesn't serve the vision and
what I keep because it servesthe vision.
And I didn't realize until yousaid it.
I am no longer attached to theoutcome.
Like I don't, the outcomedoesn't matter, but the ability
(35:51):
to even see it is what I love.
Like that is where my passion,I can tell you what it looks
like, I can design it, I amdesigning it and I can visually
put it on a canvas and be likethat's where we're going.
Christina L. Woods (36:06):
Well, I love what you're saying because it's
the energy work I do, andpeople can call it whatever they
want, because it's allowing theuniverse to co-conspire with
you.
You don't have any rules aboutwhat it looks like or how it's
going to happen, because youknow as well as I do, tomorrow
(36:26):
you can wake up with a brand newidea because you're not
attached to you might wake upand go.
I have a new idea.
This is how it could happen.
I want to add this to mybusiness.
I want to take away this.
It doesn't matter, because thefeeling, the vision, the feeling
of abundance, the feeling iswhat you want.
More of the how to the details,it doesn't really matter.
(36:49):
That doesn't matter.
Yes, that doesn't mean youdon't have a goal and a plan and
a quarterly plan and all thosethings.
But it can change gears, it canlook different.
The energy, you know thosethings can change.
But you are open and playfulfor room and ideas and
creativity and you allow, youhave to allow for that space.
(37:11):
That's what the quietness isfor your intuition.
If you are bogged down in the,it has to happen.
This way, your intuition isliterally shut down, and that is
you.
That's your essence.
Nikisha King (37:25):
So true, it is your true.
Christina L. Woods (37:27):
I am.
Nikisha King (37:27):
It is your true identity.
Exactly Now, in concluding orgetting to the end, what I would
like is to give our listenersan action plan or some things
that they can do to learn abouttheir core curriculum.
So, if you can share with memaybe three things that you help
your clients with in regards tostarting their journey, three
(37:54):
simple things.
I think one of them youmentioned journaling, but I want
you to share more about that,even giving them a prompt,
because I think that was so good.
Christina L. Woods (38:02):
Yeah, I would say definitely some kind
of writing, because writing isso powerful.
So, yes, a prompt would be likeI mentioned I their name, I,
christina, feel because, andjust it's a free writing, so
just don't think about it, justlet it come out.
(38:24):
Whatever you think, I'm soannoyed at my dog right now Just
let it come out.
I so-and-so feel because.
And if they want to add justlike when, just let that come
out too, and do that every dayfor a few weeks.
Just let that come out andyou'll start to find more and
more themes.
And you also can take it fromthere and say I'm going to ask
(38:47):
this feeling of annoyance orthis feeling of, and you want to
try to focus on any feelingsthat might be coming up that are
lower than love.
And if your listeners want tolook up the scale of
consciousness, there's a scale,a resonance.
Everything is energy.
You'll be able to see anythinglower than love.
So you know anythingfrustration, some of those
(39:09):
things we're not always in thisresonance of.
You know butterflies andunicorns.
So you know we get annoyed,those things.
So anything that comes upbecause my clients will say, but
I'm feeling love, ok, butyou're probably feeling
something else, too A littleirritated, maybe your shoes
didn't go on right, I don't know, so some type of that I would
also recommend that we sit in amoment and ask ourselves when in
(39:35):
the last 24 hours so if we arefeeling annoyed, if we are
feeling whatever we're feeling,to shift.
A real pivot exercise that Irecommend is when in the last 24
hours did they feel approved of, in control, or safe or happy
(39:57):
or joyful?
When in the last 24 hours didthey feel that Pick maybe a few
days, 24 hours, because so oftenwe are trying to achieve
something from the wrong energy.
And so a quick pivot.
You can do this walking downthe hall to a meeting, walking
to the dinner table to meet yourchildren for dinner, you can do
(40:20):
it in the car, it doesn'tmatter, no one knows you're
doing it.
But if you think of in the last24 hours okay, yeah, I did feel
calm when my dog was licking myface okay, let your body feel
that energy, you will find youquickly can shift and pivot and
then think about the thing thatmade you feel irritated.
(40:43):
So, okay, I've pivoted myenergy.
Now I'm going to think aboutthat meeting I have to go to.
You are in a higher vibrationnow.
You will not be able to go intothat meeting in the same
vibration.
You'll be able to go into it ata much higher vibration.
So that is such a powerfulexercise, a pivot exercise.
(41:04):
So that's really powerful.
And, last but not least, I wouldsay quieting the noise, but
trusting we have the power toheal ourselves.
So you know we have the answerswithin.
I see clients for physicalissues.
I see clients for irritablebowel syndrome, migraines,
things that doctors can't helpthem with.
(41:25):
I'm not saying I'm a doctor Ofcourse I'm not a doctor but how
is it that, through subconsciouswork, through listening to an
audio recording, throughrepetition by powerful words, by
visualization, that someonethat has had irritable bowel
syndrome or migraines for 10years, 20 years, how is it, by
(41:48):
listening to something, thatthey go away?
Because the words we say toourselves are very powerful.
So I'd ask that you take aninventory of what are you saying
to yourself every day and behonest.
No one needs to know whatyou're saying to yourself, but
if you're saying, this trafficis killing me or my kids are
(42:12):
driving me crazy.
I promise you your body onlyyour subconscious mind will
believe you and will respondaccordingly oh, it's killing you
.
Let me give you a migraine soyou don't need to go into the
office.
Let me give you some anxiety soyou don't need to go to that
party on Saturday night.
Let me make it a little harderfor you because I'm gonna help
(42:36):
you out.
Your mind, your subconsciousmind's job is to keep you safe.
The words you say are powerful,so take an inventory of the
words you're using.
They will literally change yourlife.
Nikisha King (42:50):
Thank you so much, and that's so good, because all
three of those are things thatI literally worked on.
I literally like I read a bookProject 369.
I don't know if you heard of it.
Christina L. Woods (43:03):
Of course.
Nikisha King (43:04):
Yep Got it right there and I had a planner and
they would have me recap my day,the faces my happy face, my sad
wherever I am, and it would askwhat emotion made you feel and
why you felt the emotion.
And I started to practice thatevery night so I could be
(43:27):
mindful of where I am and whatI'm going to do the next day to
improve, or what have Isucceeded at.
And the fact of words havingpower.
Oh my gosh, christina, when Iwas younger, in college I think
I was really I don't know ifyou're familiar with Enneagram,
but I felt like I was an eight,because I would just say any and
(43:48):
anything, because I thought itwas the truth.
Yes, because I was like I amnot sugarcoating anything for
anyone.
Christina L. Woods (43:55):
Right.
Nikisha King (43:55):
Say words, but the words I chose were never
service words or positive words.
They're words that can hurt.
Christina L. Woods (44:03):
Yes, yes and .
Nikisha King (44:04):
I remember one day understanding that when I was
in maybe my thirties anddeciding to up my vocabulary,
words that can have the sameunderstanding.
But they have a little bit.
They don't offend, they don'tdo that and I would be able to
speak.
So today, which is sointeresting, because when I was
(44:24):
in college, my teachers verymuch criticized my writing
because my mom was an immigrant.
So I was first gen, so the factthat my mom's from the
Caribbean, they don't speakEnglish really well or high
literacy I didn't get that gift,yeah, yeah.
So my whole elementary, highschool, college, my writing was
(44:46):
not the best.
So people, my teachers,criticized it and therefore I
got that gift.
But today, when I speak, peoplewill tell me how eloquent I
speak and I'm like what are youtalking about?
Because that subconscious stilllives here.
I still doubt when I'm speakingit doesn't sound what I think
it should sound like, which Ihave no idea.
But I've improved, but I'veonly improved because I also am
(45:11):
mindful about the words I choosewhen I speak to people.
I'm mindful the way I say mywords.
But this is because it was mypast issue and I wanted to make
it better.
And it's interesting becausethese are the things I had to do
, especially to myself, which iswhat you shared.
(45:32):
Which is what you shared.
I had to learn how to fall inlove with me.
Christina L. Woods (45:37):
Yes, yes, I love that and all these things
wrapped together, you're rightLike feel.
You know, taking the time topause and see how you feel, to
check in and pivoting.
You know, thinking of a momentwhen we felt happy or sad,
because what we're doing in thatpivot exercise I share is we're
telling ourselves wait a second.
(45:57):
Right now I don't feel happy,but have I ever felt happy?
Yes, I have.
In fact, we could probablythink of beyond 24 hours.
Last week, last year, last month, many times I felt happy.
Actually, let me think of thosemoments so that I can remind
myself.
And I will again, I will againand again, and again.
Maybe not in this moment, I donremind myself and I will again.
I will again and again, andagain.
Maybe not in this moment, Idon't, but I will again.
(46:19):
And it's important because weall know celebrating small wins.
But when we're in a moment offeeling agitated or
uncomfortable or sad or evendepressed, it's hard.
But this little pivot exerciseslet me just think of something
in the last couple of days thatfelt good and it's almost always
involves an animal, or a walkin the park or seeing a leaf
(46:42):
fall off a tree.
It's nothing massive, it's justa little life moment that feels
good.
We pivot our energy and we lookat life differently.
And words you know to serve andwhen we serve others and just
remember that in any way, butserving ourselves, like you said
(47:03):
, loving ourselves and havingcompassion for ourselves it
starts there.
Nikisha King (47:08):
It does.
And even when I say that I'mmindful, because some people
will tell you they lovethemselves, but in the next,
next, when you would hear them,it's like a bad and bruised
relationship.
It's that cycle.
Right, I love you but that harmyou in ways, and I tell people
it's different for me.
Falling in love with me allowsme to decide freely, without
(47:33):
being attached.
That is it.
That is my definition of whatloving myself is.
Love it when I do things.
I'm not attached to it and Ican decide if it serves me so
much easier.
That is what love means to me.
There are moments where we'reall hungry in our house and I'm
like, in order for me to serveyou, I got to eat, and if I
don't eat, I promise you of you.
(47:56):
I got to eat, and if I don'teat, I promise you I'm going to
get agitated.
I can vocalize to people that Ineed to eat, but I don't have
to.
You know how they have thatword.
What is that?
Angry or hungry.
Yeah, I don't get there.
There are moments when I'mhungry and I'm feeling the
energy drain and someone'sasking me or demanding something
of me and I can nicely look atthem and go here's what's
(48:17):
happening.
I'm losing energy and as I loseenergy, I feel like I'm about
to get upset.
So, before I get there, is itokay with you if I eat and not
answer you at this moment intime when you're able to do that
and you can still be calm andsay it yeah, I know for a fact
I've come far absolutely,absolutely.
Christina L. Woods (48:39):
And just sharing all these things I think
is so important so other peopledon't feel alone and isolated,
and learn these practices.
Nikisha King (48:47):
Yeah, so I feel like all of your gold nuggets
you shared.
I'd like, oh my god, and Istill, I don't stop.
It's not a learn it and it'sdone with moment.
It's a management moment, it isa journey, it is and it keeps
going.
I'm going to always write, I'malways going to journal, I'm
always going to have valleys,right, because that is life.
(49:10):
It's a just situation.
It's not a I'm always going tobe in the clouds.
I'm going to have a down moment, but I get to discover why I'm
having a down moment where somepeople don't choose to discover
that.
That's what you're sharing.
That's what the quiet time is.
It's like why are you havingthis moment?
Get curious right, absolutely,yeah.
(49:30):
So I feel like everythingyou're sharing, oh, my goodness.
Thank you.
Thank you for being in theworld, thank you for deciding to
do this second career.
Thank you Because somethingcould have stopped you from
deciding this.
Your security in your firstcareer could have made you feel
so comfortable.
That second career didn't feellike you can even do it, and
that's what a lot ofentrepreneurs go through when
(49:51):
they're transitioning from agreat opportunity to something
new.
When you're an entrepreneur andyou might have a spouse that's
holding the family togetherfinancially.
There's a lot of things thatwe're uncomfortable with, and
the uncomfort is where we grow,but we just don't know that
because we haven't seen theevidence, we haven't paid
(50:13):
attention, because we haven'thad the quiet time to pay
attention.
So it's truly, truly an honorto have you in the world,
because I know what you do issomething I do, but I know we
can't do it alone.
It's no way and we were put herefor a reason to do what we do,
and I'm grateful we found ourreason, because now we can serve
(50:33):
from a place that has nothingto do with us, but to give from
the gift that we have and we'vereceived from our core
curriculum.
Christina L. Woods (50:42):
I'm so grateful to be here.
Just hearing your words, theway you express yourself,
sharing stories, it's really,really, truly a gift, thank you.
Nikisha King (50:49):
Thank you.
Thank you, my dear.
So we are going to concludethis episode with our Identity
Series, leading Her Way podcast,and I truly hope, if you love
this, to please share it withsomeone who can also get what
they require for their journeyin the business world, in their
personal world.
This episode, in my opinion,was a really good one and, first
(51:13):
and foremost, me and Christineare meeting for the first time
in this episode, but I'mgrateful to say this will not be
our only time chatting, andthank you so much once again,
christina.
Christina L. Woods (51:23):
Thank you.
Nikisha King (51:24):
Nikisha .
All right, hey, before you go,I got a golden opportunity for
you.
Yes, you, it's a chance that'stoo good to pass up, a chance to
work with me one-on-onepractically for free.
(51:39):
Imagine waving a magic wand and saying goodbye to feeling
completely overwhelmed, anxiousand all those feelings that keep
you stuck from selling yourservices.
You know that feeling where youcan't make decisions.
Nikisha King (51:51):
You're on the hamster wheel.
I know I was there, but what ifI told you I can help you get
rid of that feeling forever?
Not only five minutes, 10minutes, but forever.
Yes, to the point where workingon your newsletter website
creating content feels like abreeze.
This week I only have fourexclusive spots for a one-to-one
(52:12):
opportunity with me.
It's not a webinar, it's not aworkshop.
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(52:16):
It's only you and me for 60 minutes where I'll teach you my
aha method to get rid of thatoverwhelmed feeling forever.
Listen, don't walk, but runover to focusnakishakingcom.
Nikisha King (52:31):
It's in the show notes and grab one of my limited
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It's limited and so many peoplekeep asking for it, so it's
going to be gone in a second.
And remember, don't tell anyoneabout this great opportunity.
It's just between you and me.
Hello, gorgeous, welcome to NK Production Leading
Her Way podcast, where we seethe human, evolving and
resilient spirit in you.
I'm your host, N nikesha King,and welcome to the Identity
Series.
Today you're going to meetChristina L Woods, a clinical
hypnotherapist, rapidtransformational therapist,
(00:22):
empowerment coach and Reikimaster.
Christina has a rich backgroundin corporate leadership and her
personal experiences ofovercoming trauma and
abandonment has allowed her toempower women like you and me to
trust our intuition and breakfree from self-doubt.
As a CEO and founder of her ownpractice, she specializes in
(00:45):
helping us shed programmingthrough deep hypnotherapy and
coaching, guiding us to becomeself-reliant and live the life
that we choose.
Christina is a force in ourworld and I'm so happy to have
her on the Identity Series.
So please relax and enjoy ourconversation on identifying our
(01:07):
core curriculum, aka identityand how it affects our
decision-making process.
Let's dive into episode 59 withChristina L Woods.
Hello Christina, thank you somuch for joining the Leading Her
(01:48):
Way podcast.
I am so excited to have youhere, where we're going to speak
about hypnosis.
We're going to speak aboutdecision making, about your
identity and how that dictatesyour decision making, and I
would love for our audience toget to know you a little bit
better, other than the bio Ishared with them, but tell me,
(02:09):
in regards to what you do, solet them know, and also, how did
you fall in love, or what makesyou do what you do?
Christina L. Woods (02:18):
Thank you so much, nikisha.
So yeah, I am a hypnotherapist,a coach, an energy healer, and
I'm just so grateful I get thisopportunity to have this
incredible second career.
I started it when I was almost50, just like I think Martha
Stewart says she had her careerstarted hers at 50.
So I always remember that.
(02:39):
But I love what I do because Ihelp high achieving women find
their authentic self, theirauthentic voice, and shed
beliefs that cloud that.
Because we all have a divinecurriculum.
You know, an assignment here,these gifts that we're here for
(03:10):
so many times limiting beliefsor beliefs that we feel society,
the world, puts upon us for noother reason than that's.
You know, that's the way theworld works.
So the meaning that we attachto things when we're raised and
we go to school and church andour community and that meaning
that we attach to things isreally there to keep us safe.
Our mind does that.
It thinks it's doing a greatthing, but not always.
It's there to protect us andkeep us safe.
Our mind does that.
It thinks it's doing a greatthing, but not always.
It's there to protect us andkeep us safe and for no other
reason.
That's its primary job and forsometimes it puts us in a box.
(03:33):
So my job that I love so much,my why every day, is to help
high achieving women inbusinesses entrepreneurs.
Really just focus on what isyour authentic self and so you
can be your full potential andshed all these other limiting
beliefs and the meaning youattach that might not help you
(03:53):
with your divine curriculum.
Nikisha King (03:55):
Such a good point.
I love that and I'm gratefulthat you're in the world,
because it's a task.
It's a task because we allstart from somewhere as young
human beings, and we are blessedwith family and friends that do
guide us, but they only canguide us from a place that they
know.
So wherever they are in theirlife is what they give to you.
(04:17):
Be in it whatever it is, and Idon't consider it good or bad,
it's just what they know andthey give, but that may not
serve you as you mature intoyour journey.
So I feel like that's alwaysgood to be mindful.
So, in understanding where I am, I'm in my forties now, but I'm
very aware, when I started my40 year journey, that I was
(04:40):
carrying around gifts I wasgiven by my parents, by my loved
ones, by external collegeprofessors, all of it.
They gave me gifts thatminimized who I am, and those
gifts piled up and I couldn'tfind the true I am or my core
curriculum because of all of thestuff I've been given.
(05:04):
So I had to learn how toreanalyze what I was given and
see if it served me, and if itdidn't, I had to give it back, I
had to let it go.
So I think it's amazing aboutwhat you're sharing and what
we're going to be sharing onthis podcast.
In doing the identity series, Ihad an introduction last week
(05:27):
about what identity means, thelabels and all the things we
carry around, but in thisepisode I would love to speak
about how your core curriculumfactors into your
decision-making, because, asbusiness owners, we have a lot
of decisions we make and Ishouldn't say a lot.
It depends on who you are, butI think every day we make
(05:48):
decisions.
Should I put on the shoes?
Should I put on that outfit?
Why am I putting it on?
Why am I doing this?
And I want to know and I have aconversation about our core
curriculum, our identity, our Iam.
How does that affect ourdecisions?
How does that either put us ina box or put us outside the box?
So I want you to share with ushow you define an identity.
(06:13):
How do you help your clientsknow who they are, or how do you
get them to even see where theyare at that point in time?
Christina L. Woods (06:22):
Yeah, Well, any label we give ourselves
limits ourselves.
So you know, we, we can evensay you know I'm, I'm successful
, I'm a corporate, this, I'm afantastic.
Any label limits ourselves.
So you know, that's reallyimportant to understand and it's
it's really important to justtry to shoot for.
(06:44):
And this is in the work that Ido and this was a very hard to
swallow A gift I was given wasyou are a worker bee, you work,
we work in this family.
You know, I worked since I was14, even probably sooner.
Single mother, family, Italianfamily, immigrants.
You know this is what you do,and so that was, that was my
(07:06):
identity and thereforevalidation came from outside
achievements and that was thelens.
Like, okay, that's what I do,that's, that's the lens I can do
that.
I can go get lots of validationoutside.
Until I had to shift that lensto wait, I got lots of
validation outside.
What if I don't get thevalidation?
(07:28):
Does that mean I'm not goodenough on the inside?
So part of that identity withmaking business decisions is
let's find out what lens are welooking through.
The I am, what's, what comesafter the I am really is key to
looking at that, Because if allof our I am's come from outside,
you know, then we really needto take a pause here and find
(07:52):
out, and one of the coreprinciples I work with is based
in something called the Sedonamethod and a coach that I worked
with for a very long time,which is we have these core
values that we all come with,which is, whether you call it
nature, a higher power, whatever, you want something outside of
(08:12):
ourselves, a gift that is justdivinely within us when we're
born, a baby that is born, weall would agree, I believe, that
they're already approved of,they're already have of, they
already have enough abilitywithin themselves to be safe and
in control and approved of,regardless, perhaps, of the
(08:34):
circumstances.
This is their divine right tohave those things.
And I don't know about you, butsometimes I feel approved of.
When a stranger smiles at me onthe street, yes, I could get a
big bonus at work or achieve agoal, and that makes me feel
approved of.
When a stranger smiles at me onthe street, yes, I could get a
big bonus at work or achieve agoal, and that makes me feel
approved of as well.
But when a baby laughs or abutterfly lands on my glass,
it's like whew, that's a sign.
(08:56):
Yes, I feel great.
So approval comes in the mostsurprising ways from life itself
and not always from the waywe've defined it right.
So back to identity.
It's what is the lens thatwe're looking through and making
sure that we haven't given allof our cups of approval, control
(09:17):
and safety out for other people, things, situations,
circumstances to fill up.
And can we take our jars back,our cups back and fill them up
ourselves?
Because when we ask otherpeople's circumstances, our jobs
, our business achievements,business plans, you know all
(09:38):
those things are important.
I have them as, just as much asthe next entrepreneur.
But when everything our identityis based on those things and
then we achieve them or we don'tachieve them or we exceed them,
what we're saying is that isour identity.
And you know I beg to differ.
Our identity, whether weachieve them or not, is guess
(10:00):
what?
We're all enough anyway.
So pulling all those feelersback, those cups back, and
saying let's find a way, becausewe all have an innate need to
feel accepted and not rejected.
And you know this goes back soprimal and tribal, not to want
to be, you know, kicked off therange or the tribe, and you know
(10:24):
we can't survive and so wereally need to understand.
It's a very primal need to feelaccepted.
That is okay.
But finding ways where weinnately understand that it
helps have compassion forourselves, to know like I'm
really wanting acceptance andapproval.
(10:44):
Wait a second.
Yeah, the bank account's greatand there's no shame in wanting
that bank account to grow or tolook good or feel good or all
those things.
But I promise you, when you getthose things, you still might
not feel enough, because that'snot what that identity is about.
Nikisha King (11:04):
That's such a valid point because so many of,
especially, business owners,especially entrepreneurs, when
we think about validation and wecannot, we haven't learned yet
how to get it from within oursales makes us feel high or low.
You get a sale, you feel high.
You don't get a sale, you feellow.
Yes, and usually when we'refeeling low, we're not able to
(11:25):
do the action, we're not able todo the work to generate our
sales, to generate leads, to dothe work.
And it's always interesting tosee how we tie our identity with
the outside.
All the labels you carry, likeyou said, entrepreneur, mother,
spouse, partner, single mom,everything, educator, teacher,
(11:47):
whatever that label is sometimeswe get lost in it and that's
where some of our beliefs comefrom.
If you're a teacher, you'relost in the fact that you have
to get your assessment numbershigh to ensure that you show the
school, the superintendent,that you're doing your job.
(12:07):
Yeah, but you forget.
The reason you became a teacheris because you're really good
at making things easy for peopleto understand.
Christina L. Woods (12:16):
Yeah, and I love that you say that, because
when you connect back with yourwhy, you know your deep why.
Like pause for a second and youknow it's so perfect.
I have teachers in my familyand it's the last few weeks of
school, so they're reallystressed out.
They're really, you know, on,really the kids are not behaving
(12:42):
, the grades are due, theparents are angry, everyone's
stressed out.
But so, whatever your corporateposition is right now in your
business, whatever you do, youknow right now, wherever you're
at decisions, you have to makepause and think about your why
and then pause and think about adeeper why and a deeper why and
a deeper why.
(13:02):
Okay, about a deeper why and adeeper why and a deeper why.
Okay, because when you, you getmore of what you feel and you
get more of what you feel.
So when we're in the okay, yeah, but yeah, but forget what.
Forget about the kids that Iserve.
I've got to turn in my grades.
I got to turn in my grades.
I got to turn in my grades.
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late,I'm late.
(13:23):
That's obviously a mindset ofI'm behind, I'm lacking, I
didn't meet my deadlines.
I'm going to get more of that.
I mean, this is a basicsubconscious mindset cycle
treadmill, and so when we canjust get back to the, why wait a
second?
I love helping.
I love my students.
(13:44):
I'm here to help transformtheir lives.
I'm here to make them betterhuman beings on the earth.
This is why I wake up every day.
Whatever your why is, I'm hereto make a difference in whether
you're in the plumbing world,whatever you do, I love the
people I work with.
I want to make them laugh everyday.
Then that's your why.
(14:05):
And I want to retire in Fijione day and hang out on the
beach Okay, great.
But your why is so important?
Because then, the little thingsthat we need to do or the big
things we need to do, they don'tcloud our why.
Because it's so easy to feelbehind or I didn't do it right,
(14:27):
or gosh forbid.
We go on social media andcompare ourselves and get into
that rat race of comparisonitisor whatever it's called, but
where everyone else looks liketheir business is making a
million dollars in six months.
So it's easy to do that, but weget more of what we feel.
And I see so many entrepreneurs90% of my clients are
(14:50):
entrepreneurs doctors, lawyers,some sort of entrepreneur and
all of them struggle withcomparing themselves to others
or feeling like they're not goodenough or behind.
And why is that?
They're all intelligent,they're all bright, they're all
very successful If you looked atthe numbers, but somewhere
along the line they forgot theirwhy.
(15:10):
And they're looking at all theexternal issues.
And when we quiet the noise andlook at their why, it's so easy
to go okay, that's my why.
Now I got to do this, thesegoals, I got to do this, this
and this, and we're able toquiet and listen to our heart,
because your intuition and youridentity is not in your head,
(15:33):
it's in your body, it's in yourheart, it's in your soul.
Nikisha King (15:37):
That's such a good point.
Now let me ask you a question.
When we talk about the why, howdo you help your clients
discover their why?
Is there an exercise you helpthem do?
Is there a certain frameworkyou give?
Tell me a little bit more aboutthat.
Christina L. Woods (15:53):
Yeah, the first question that I'm looking
for and interested in is whendid a client become disconnected
from themselves at some point?
When did they stop trustingthemselves?
Because it's very interestingAt some point in our lives there
(16:14):
is a moment, usually, when westopped trusting our instincts,
stopped trusting our intuition,perhaps stopped believing that
we could go with our gut and hadto go with our head or logic.
Not that logic is bad, not thatanything analytical is bad.
(16:36):
Of course those things have aplace.
But our intuition is somethingthat is always sort of your true
north, that gut feeling thatsociety has sort of said I don't
know if you should really gowith your gut.
That's really not.
Where's the statistics behindit?
If you listen to your gut andyour heart, how many times have
(17:01):
you said I knew it, I knew it, Iknew it, I knew it, I knew it.
So, to answer your question,yes, I absolutely have a
framework, and the first one,you know, obviously I use
hypnosis, but with anyone youcan do this even without
hypnosis.
But you know, our subconsciousmind is 95% of how we make
(17:23):
decisions and how we see theworld.
Not 5% is our analytical,logical mind.
So if you take a look at thatold picture of the iceberg.
We've all seen the iceberg only5% is above the water.
That is our analyticalconscious mind.
That's what we all think isrunning the ship, driving the
(17:45):
ship, the car.
Guess what?
It's not.
It's underneath the water, it'sthe lens and how you feel about
the world and see the world isthe subconscious mind.
It's the autopilot.
It's when you drive home fromthe grocery store and you don't
remember driving home, andyou're in the driveway or you're
on the train and you're like Idon't even remember if I got off
(18:05):
on the right stop or if I.
I don't even remember how I'mhere in my driveway or I got
home, I it's just happened.
It's how we just sort of dothings.
That's autopilot.
So, quieting your mind, whetherthat's through journaling,
whether that's through running,exercising, just taking some
time to get quiet in hypnosis,I'm able to go back and find out
(18:27):
when was the first time youstopped trusting yourself, you
stopped listening to yourinstincts, and we'll find little
tiny moments where maybe theywere a child or a teenager.
But you can do this on your ownand say you know, I, nikisha,
christina, feel because justlike when, and you can start to
(18:47):
find out, I feel annoyed, I feelanxious because just like when
and you'll start to connect thedots of I feel this way, just
like when I was 14, I felt thisway, or just like when I was 10,
and just start to really sinkinto feelings and thoughts.
But getting quiet isundervalued.
(19:09):
But for your creativity, yourinspiration and the process I go
through is, I'd like to findout.
When did we disconnect withourselves?
Because children go byintuition, right, I don't know
about you, but I have kids andmany times at a birthday party
we pull out the cake and youwould think kids would devour
(19:30):
the cake.
They take one bite, they runaway.
They don't even want it, theywant to play.
I don't know about you, butwith adults they're like when's
the cake coming out?
Like they want the cake.
So the kids, they just go withtheir gut.
They're like no way I'm notstopping playing for cake.
Or a baby.
You try to feed a baby whenthey're not hungry.
They turn their head, they pushit away.
They instinctually know I amnot hungry.
(19:52):
I have eaten plenty of meals asan adult, but I am not hungry
because dinner's down orsomebody's serving me.
I'm at an event, a banquet, aconference.
It's time to eat.
I eat, my stomach is telling meI'm not hungry, but it's time
to eat.
So, no, we have intuition aboutnot just that, we have
intuition about everything.
(20:13):
So it's just finding that andtrusting that again and asking
ourselves when we feel.
And so I'll kind of pause there, but there's a few other steps
in the framework.
What are your thoughts aboutthat?
Nikisha King (20:26):
You said something about quiet.
That is something that I findto be so interesting, because
we're in now an era where wetalk about ADHD and there are
some people who are notdiagnosed, but they still refer
to it, and when they refer to it, they refer to it as not having
(20:49):
the attention span.
Yeah, and then I alwaysquestion if they're not
diagnosed, is it really that?
Or is it you not havingdiscipline or focus?
Because you've been taught thisthrough social media, through
internet, we are jumping fromwindow to window.
If you're bored, you jump toevery social media outlet, like
(21:13):
TikTok.
If that don't hold yourattention, you're in Instagram.
That doesn't hold yourattention and you're from the
old ages Facebook you know whatI mean.
You go down the line and thenwhen you hear all the social
media you have on your phone,then you go right into inbox.
Who's emailing you?
Right, no matter what time ofday, you know you're not
responding.
They are very scared of quiet.
(21:33):
Like to sit with their thoughtsis the scariest thing on earth,
and when I, last December orlast year, I had made a
(21:58):
agreement with myself to learnhow to transition from being a
mom to being a person who cantravel by myself.
I went to a lot of conferencesalone.
I was in hotel rooms alonebecause that was a fear of mine,
right, anything can happen tome.
Fear of mine, right, anythingcan happen to me.
(22:19):
But I had to be realistic.
If you're on a certain floorand you're somewhere, it's just
you can do things to protect,right.
So I had to work on that andlast year I did, which I was
grateful for, and I did havemoments that was so brand new to
me where I felt like I didn'thave anything to do.
I felt like I wasn't doinganything.
I felt like, oh my God, what isthis?
And I felt the buildup of thisfeeling, anxiety even.
Yes, and that's what it is.
(22:40):
I didn't put a name to itbecause I don't know what that
is, but I'm assuming that's whatit was.
And the first thing I did waswent back to a place that I,
when I went to Las Vegas, mybrother introduced me to, a
restaurant.
When I got the anxiety feeling,I went straight back to that
restaurant called Uber and wentstraight there and it eased my
being.
I don't know what it was.
I don't know if it's the foodcomfort or it's.
(23:00):
I know this.
Yes, right, it was.
I know this, yes, so when I wasdoing a last event for last
year, I wanted to walk into thisevent with a different mindset.
The event I went to wasprestigious.
It's a big investment.
I've heard a lot of things saidabout it in regards to people
are pretentious.
People are very much into theirlooks and their energy and it's
(23:24):
not always welcoming.
So I had to decide how would Iwant to show up to this event?
And in order to do that, I hadto learn how to meditate.
So I had to decide again will Iwake up at 5.30 to meditate?
Because around 6, 6.30, I startmy kids prep lunch walk, I
start my routine and I wanted towake up earlier.
(23:46):
And the thing is I added thatto my routine At 5.30, I wake up
and I sat and I would be inquiet because no one else is up
and I would meditate and forsome reason it worked really
well.
So I continued, because when Iwent to that event, the amount
of energy I was giving off wasso good that it felt like I was
(24:07):
high.
I've never been high on drugs,but it was such a high because
of what I was being validated.
I was receiving it from peoplewho didn't know me and they were
able to express my energy.
I mean, they was like, wow,your energy is so good.
They could feel it.
And they didn't know me.
From Adam Eve they didn't knowme.
(24:27):
So I was doing the thing I wasmeditating to do because I was
going to show up in that way.
But my whole point is, when Isit now and quiet, I'm even
working on the silver method.
I don't know if you know, jose,yeah, so I'm doing Mindvalley.
I love it very much.
Christina L. Woods (24:43):
That's how I discovered the hypnosis teacher
that I studied with.
Nikisha King (24:48):
Good, I love that you and I have so much in common
, but I'm starting that processand to sit quiet and to get to a
place where I'm in my alphastage and not in my beta.
It's a gift.
And that gift is to be able toquiet your thoughts.
And I love it because when youquiet your thoughts, your true I
am, your core curriculumappears and it speaks to you and
(25:11):
it guides you, even when youhave those valley moments.
And when you mentioned quiet, Ijust think if some people just
learned how to get quiet, whatcan they achieve?
And when we say this maybe I'mwrong, but Christina is going to
share with us Quiet means youcan silence all those thoughts
(25:32):
that kind of suppress yourability to be who you truly are.
There's so many thoughts we have40 and plus 40,000, plus
thoughts a day.
And thoughts are weird becauseyou have one thought and it
becomes like it takes you on ajourney, like you know how I
said about my shirt being blueand white, and then you could be
(25:54):
like, well, the collar don'tlook right, right.
And you'd be like, well, itdoesn't keep me warm, right, it
just keeps going and going.
I saw my stylist and thishappened.
It's like an entrepreneur whogoes let me give you an example
from an entrepreneur perspective.
I want to do a list, but Idon't know what lead magnet to
put out there.
But if I put this lead magnetout, I might get no clicks.
(26:16):
If I get no clicks, oh my God,it's a failure.
If it fails, I'm not doing it.
They're ready, I'm not doing it.
But they didn't do anything.
They just had a thought aboutit and I'm just like how is that
possible that you have athought and can shut it down in
the same minute and never havedone it to even know if it would
work?
Christina L. Woods (26:38):
Such a good point and I love your
visualization and getting quiet.
One of the hardest well, it'snot the hardest, but one of the
hardest things clients thinkthat I ask them to do is to get
quiet and journal.
I have had clients ask me couldyou just ask me to do something
else, please?
You know a list of 20 thingsplease?
(27:00):
I'm like no, you just need tojournal.
I Susie feel you know, becauseJust start with that and they
squirm and they complain andthey do not want to do it, and
after they do it for a while,okay, then we're going to add
just like when, and then wemight ask that feeling how old
(27:21):
are you feeling?
How old do you think I am?
And I promise you will get somuch valuable insight into your
subconscious just by askingyourself those questions, and
I've had so many.
You know, as a coach, we wantto lead clients there and so
many clients come to me and sayI figured it out.
(27:43):
I know now why you had me dothis.
I I'm ready to leave this lousyrelationship.
I'm ready to go in and talkwith my boss about this
situation or take my business tothe next level.
I see now why I'm stuck at thislevel.
Because I have been thinkingthat if I try that I might fail,
(28:05):
I might be embarrassed,humiliated, just like when, you
know, in third grade I just hada situation a client said you
know she didn't makecheerleading and she was
completely humiliated in hertown.
So you know, our feelings havea cellular memory in our body
and that's important tounderstand and realize that.
(28:26):
That's why I say our intuitionis in our body, it's not in our
head.
So we logically might saythat's ridiculous.
I'm not.
I'm not a cheerleader in highschool anymore, might say that's
ridiculous.
I'm not a cheerleader in highschool anymore.
I'm a 40-year-old executive incharge of a multi-six-figure,
seven-figure business.
That's great, but your bodystill feels like this.
(28:46):
When you feel that way, ittakes you right back.
Your subconscious does not knowhow old you are and it doesn't
care how old you are.
So I want everyone tounderstand that.
So do not feel guilty when youeat cookies at 10 o'clock at
night to make yourself feelbetter, or when you regress and
say I can't put out a leadmagnet because no one will like
me or they'll think it's stupid,because your body is taking you
(29:10):
right back to a cellular memory.
Joe dispenses book how to breakthe habit ofself talks all
about that.
So changing the cellular memoryis how we change our identity,
because our identity is in ourcells, it's in our body.
You change that, you changeeverything.
Nikisha King (29:28):
Exactly, and I would hope the listeners know
that you can change it.
Some people don't think you can, and when I say that I mean you
, not someone else changing you.
You have to change it, you haveto decide.
You want to change it.
Christina L. Woods (29:49):
Yeah, and I love the Latin meaning behind
the word.
Decide is to cut off, and soyou decide, you make a decision
to cut off, and I always sayboundaries are what are you
available for?
I'm not available for believingthat I can't change.
I'm not available for that.
We all have to get to thatpoint.
If we're going to make a bigchoice to change, we have to be
(30:12):
available, for I don't want tofeel this way anymore.
I don't want to feel that way.
I want to feel better.
We might not know how to do ityet, but we have to know.
I got to go get the coach.
I got to read the book.
I got to do the thing.
I got to wake up early.
I got to try this quiet thing.
I have to decide do I want todo something better and do I
(30:33):
want to not be attached to allthis outside validation that
makes me have dopamine and feelgreat?
Well, what if I go to aconference and everyone isn't
friendly?
Does that mean I should nevergo to a conference again or a
mastermind group?
No, because that's not yourvalidation, but that's what we
do, right?
Nikisha King (30:52):
Right, we do.
And it's so interesting becauseif someone's not nice at this
conference, sometimes here's thething it's only one person and
they make it a whole conferenceof 500 people.
That's not nice.
You know what I mean?
That's the other thing.
Let's also look at the factswhen we're making decisions.
Let's not use our emotions todrive the decisions.
(31:13):
Let's not use our emotions todrive the decisions, because
there are moments when you feela certain way and you feel like
everyone's responsible for thatfeeling, and sometimes that's
not the story.
Christina L. Woods (31:33):
Sometimes it's just one person said
something, you interpret it acertain way and now everyone at
the conference is mean, right,right, and asking ourselves is
that even true?
You know, one of the bestpractices that I try to teach
clients is to get to a place ofneutrality.
So, yes, we want to visualize.
You know going into somethingsuccessful and happy and
whatever, let's say it is, goingto a meeting and visualizing
(31:54):
ourselves, you know, beingdynamic and happy and or going
on stage.
You know doing it, doing itreally well, but also seeing
ourselves like, why would I beopposed to failing at it?
Why would I be opposed to maybestumbling on my words and not
doing well?
Why would I be opposed to that?
And is that attached to a fearof approval, control or safety?
(32:17):
Because if we believe if wefail, I'm not approved of, I am
not safe, that's just asdetrimental as it being attached
to I'm validated if I amsuccessful.
So the best place is to beneutral because, guess what?
You're amazing either way.
So when you aren't attached toit, that's freedom.
(32:40):
That is woohoo.
I get to go and I get to be meauthentically me.
Freedom to talk about mybusiness, freedom to go up to
people and, whether they like meor not, go on stage.
Yeah, I missed up a little bit,but you know what?
I'm human, I don't know aboutyou.
I love when I meet authenticpeople.
(33:00):
They aren't perfect, they'reauthentic and you can tell the
people that are like perfectlycurated.
Or the girl walking down thebeach she was like, yeah, she's
not perfect, but man, she's likerocking the confidence.
Nikisha King (33:14):
Yes, and it differs.
It differs when you just said tome, I had an aha moment for me
personally.
Attached, attached, yes, I wasable to have a vision about.
I had a small vision.
It was about me holding books,getting off the elevator,
(33:34):
entering like a loft space andas time went by, I developed
this and this developed into acampus of maybe 10 acres where I
have a lot of landscape.
I have two structures, twobuildings on it that are around
10 stories high and theyactually wouldn't inhabit all of
the brands and businesses I own.
The other one is my coachingand my auditorium where I teach
(33:56):
and speak.
And in order for me to blow thiswhole process from that one
thing, it builds out my wholefuture of what is, it kept going
.
And as I was transforming frommy scarcity to abundance mindset
, there's something thathappened where I could dream, I
can share it, I don't have tosweat when I share it, I don't
(34:18):
get nervous when I share it, andI used to.
But what happened is thatattachment, because when people
create their one-year plan,three-year, five-year plan,
whatever plan, they are soattached to it that they're
scared they're going to fail.
So they decide not to evendream.
Yes, and what I realized iswhen you said that word, I am
(34:43):
very clear that this vision ismine.
No-transcript meaning if ithappens, and I know it is.
If it happens, it happens, andif it doesn't, it doesn't.
But the doesn't doesn't meanit'll never happen, it just
means it can happen and lookdifferent than what I see.
(35:06):
I know it can happen in so manydifferent ways, because that's
my life.
My life is in variables.
There's different ways thingscan come to light.
They don't need to come the wayI envision it, but the vision
gives me the direction to movein.
That's why my decisions areeasier.
Now I know when I'm saying yesto something or no, because my
identity has allowed me tocreate this vision.
(35:28):
So making decisions are justeasier.
What I cut off because itdoesn't serve the vision and
what I keep because it servesthe vision.
And I didn't realize until yousaid it.
I am no longer attached to theoutcome.
Like I don't, the outcomedoesn't matter, but the ability
(35:51):
to even see it is what I love.
Like that is where my passion,I can tell you what it looks
like, I can design it, I amdesigning it and I can visually
put it on a canvas and be likethat's where we're going.
Christina L. Woods (36:06):
Well, I love what you're saying because it's
the energy work I do, andpeople can call it whatever they
want, because it's allowing theuniverse to co-conspire with
you.
You don't have any rules aboutwhat it looks like or how it's
going to happen, because youknow as well as I do, tomorrow
(36:26):
you can wake up with a brand newidea because you're not
attached to you might wake upand go.
I have a new idea.
This is how it could happen.
I want to add this to mybusiness.
I want to take away this.
It doesn't matter, because thefeeling, the vision, the feeling
of abundance, the feeling iswhat you want.
More of the how to the details,it doesn't really matter.
(36:49):
That doesn't matter.
Yes, that doesn't mean youdon't have a goal and a plan and
a quarterly plan and all thosethings.
But it can change gears, it canlook different.
The energy, you know thosethings can change.
But you are open and playfulfor room and ideas and
creativity and you allow, youhave to allow for that space.
(37:11):
That's what the quietness isfor your intuition.
If you are bogged down in the,it has to happen.
This way, your intuition isliterally shut down, and that is
you.
That's your essence.
Nikisha King (37:25):
So true, it is your true.
Christina L. Woods (37:27):
I am.
Nikisha King (37:27):
It is your true identity.
Exactly Now, in concluding orgetting to the end, what I would
like is to give our listenersan action plan or some things
that they can do to learn abouttheir core curriculum.
So, if you can share with memaybe three things that you help
your clients with in regards tostarting their journey, three
(37:54):
simple things.
I think one of them youmentioned journaling, but I want
you to share more about that,even giving them a prompt,
because I think that was so good.
Christina L. Woods (38:02):
Yeah, I would say definitely some kind
of writing, because writing isso powerful.
So, yes, a prompt would be likeI mentioned I their name, I,
christina, feel because, andjust it's a free writing, so
just don't think about it, justlet it come out.
(38:24):
Whatever you think, I'm soannoyed at my dog right now Just
let it come out.
I so-and-so feel because.
And if they want to add justlike when, just let that come
out too, and do that every dayfor a few weeks.
Just let that come out andyou'll start to find more and
more themes.
And you also can take it fromthere and say I'm going to ask
(38:47):
this feeling of annoyance orthis feeling of, and you want to
try to focus on any feelingsthat might be coming up that are
lower than love.
And if your listeners want tolook up the scale of
consciousness, there's a scale,a resonance.
Everything is energy.
You'll be able to see anythinglower than love.
So you know anythingfrustration, some of those
(39:09):
things we're not always in thisresonance of.
You know butterflies andunicorns.
So you know we get annoyed,those things.
So anything that comes upbecause my clients will say, but
I'm feeling love, ok, butyou're probably feeling
something else, too A littleirritated, maybe your shoes
didn't go on right, I don't know, so some type of that I would
also recommend that we sit in amoment and ask ourselves when in
(39:35):
the last 24 hours so if we arefeeling annoyed, if we are
feeling whatever we're feeling,to shift.
A real pivot exercise that Irecommend is when in the last 24
hours did they feel approved of, in control, or safe or happy
(39:57):
or joyful?
When in the last 24 hours didthey feel that Pick maybe a few
days, 24 hours, because so oftenwe are trying to achieve
something from the wrong energy.
And so a quick pivot.
You can do this walking downthe hall to a meeting, walking
to the dinner table to meet yourchildren for dinner, you can do
(40:20):
it in the car, it doesn'tmatter, no one knows you're
doing it.
But if you think of in the last24 hours okay, yeah, I did feel
calm when my dog was licking myface okay, let your body feel
that energy, you will find youquickly can shift and pivot and
then think about the thing thatmade you feel irritated.
(40:43):
So, okay, I've pivoted myenergy.
Now I'm going to think aboutthat meeting I have to go to.
You are in a higher vibrationnow.
You will not be able to go intothat meeting in the same
vibration.
You'll be able to go into it ata much higher vibration.
So that is such a powerfulexercise, a pivot exercise.
(41:04):
So that's really powerful.
And, last but not least, I wouldsay quieting the noise, but
trusting we have the power toheal ourselves.
So you know we have the answerswithin.
I see clients for physicalissues.
I see clients for irritablebowel syndrome, migraines,
things that doctors can't helpthem with.
(41:25):
I'm not saying I'm a doctor Ofcourse I'm not a doctor but how
is it that, through subconsciouswork, through listening to an
audio recording, throughrepetition by powerful words, by
visualization, that someonethat has had irritable bowel
syndrome or migraines for 10years, 20 years, how is it, by
(41:48):
listening to something, thatthey go away?
Because the words we say toourselves are very powerful.
So I'd ask that you take aninventory of what are you saying
to yourself every day and behonest.
No one needs to know whatyou're saying to yourself, but
if you're saying, this trafficis killing me or my kids are
(42:12):
driving me crazy.
I promise you your body onlyyour subconscious mind will
believe you and will respondaccordingly oh, it's killing you
.
Let me give you a migraine soyou don't need to go into the
office.
Let me give you some anxiety soyou don't need to go to that
party on Saturday night.
Let me make it a little harderfor you because I'm gonna help
(42:36):
you out.
Your mind, your subconsciousmind's job is to keep you safe.
The words you say are powerful,so take an inventory of the
words you're using.
They will literally change yourlife.
Nikisha King (42:50):
Thank you so much, and that's so good, because all
three of those are things thatI literally worked on.
I literally like I read a bookProject 369.
I don't know if you heard of it.
Christina L. Woods (43:03):
Of course.
Nikisha King (43:04):
Yep Got it right there and I had a planner and
they would have me recap my day,the faces my happy face, my sad
wherever I am, and it would askwhat emotion made you feel and
why you felt the emotion.
And I started to practice thatevery night so I could be
(43:27):
mindful of where I am and whatI'm going to do the next day to
improve, or what have Isucceeded at.
And the fact of words havingpower.
Oh my gosh, christina, when Iwas younger, in college I think
I was really I don't know ifyou're familiar with Enneagram,
but I felt like I was an eight,because I would just say any and
(43:48):
anything, because I thought itwas the truth.
Yes, because I was like I amnot sugarcoating anything for
anyone.
Christina L. Woods (43:55):
Right.
Nikisha King (43:55):
Say words, but the words I chose were never
service words or positive words.
They're words that can hurt.
Christina L. Woods (44:03):
Yes, yes and .
Nikisha King (44:04):
I remember one day understanding that when I was
in maybe my thirties anddeciding to up my vocabulary,
words that can have the sameunderstanding.
But they have a little bit.
They don't offend, they don'tdo that and I would be able to
speak.
So today, which is sointeresting, because when I was
(44:24):
in college, my teachers verymuch criticized my writing
because my mom was an immigrant.
So I was first gen, so the factthat my mom's from the
Caribbean, they don't speakEnglish really well or high
literacy I didn't get that gift,yeah, yeah.
So my whole elementary, highschool, college, my writing was
(44:46):
not the best.
So people, my teachers,criticized it and therefore I
got that gift.
But today, when I speak, peoplewill tell me how eloquent I
speak and I'm like what are youtalking about?
Because that subconscious stilllives here.
I still doubt when I'm speakingit doesn't sound what I think
it should sound like, which Ihave no idea.
But I've improved, but I'veonly improved because I also am
(45:11):
mindful about the words I choosewhen I speak to people.
I'm mindful the way I say mywords.
But this is because it was mypast issue and I wanted to make
it better.
And it's interesting becausethese are the things I had to do
, especially to myself, which iswhat you shared.
(45:32):
Which is what you shared.
I had to learn how to fall inlove with me.
Christina L. Woods (45:37):
Yes, yes, I love that and all these things
wrapped together, you're rightLike feel.
You know, taking the time topause and see how you feel, to
check in and pivoting.
You know, thinking of a momentwhen we felt happy or sad,
because what we're doing in thatpivot exercise I share is we're
telling ourselves wait a second.
(45:57):
Right now I don't feel happy,but have I ever felt happy?
Yes, I have.
In fact, we could probablythink of beyond 24 hours.
Last week, last year, last month, many times I felt happy.
Actually, let me think of thosemoments so that I can remind
myself.
And I will again, I will againand again, and again.
Maybe not in this moment, I donremind myself and I will again.
I will again and again, andagain.
Maybe not in this moment, Idon't, but I will again.
(46:19):
And it's important because weall know celebrating small wins.
But when we're in a moment offeeling agitated or
uncomfortable or sad or evendepressed, it's hard.
But this little pivot exerciseslet me just think of something
in the last couple of days thatfelt good and it's almost always
involves an animal, or a walkin the park or seeing a leaf
(46:42):
fall off a tree.
It's nothing massive, it's justa little life moment that feels
good.
We pivot our energy and we lookat life differently.
And words you know to serve andwhen we serve others and just
remember that in any way, butserving ourselves, like you said
(47:03):
, loving ourselves and havingcompassion for ourselves it
starts there.
Nikisha King (47:08):
It does.
And even when I say that I'mmindful, because some people
will tell you they lovethemselves, but in the next,
next, when you would hear them,it's like a bad and bruised
relationship.
It's that cycle.
Right, I love you but that harmyou in ways, and I tell people
it's different for me.
Falling in love with me allowsme to decide freely, without
(47:33):
being attached.
That is it.
That is my definition of whatloving myself is.
Love it when I do things.
I'm not attached to it and Ican decide if it serves me so
much easier.
That is what love means to me.
There are moments where we'reall hungry in our house and I'm
like, in order for me to serveyou, I got to eat, and if I
don't eat, I promise you of you.
(47:56):
I got to eat, and if I don'teat, I promise you I'm going to
get agitated.
I can vocalize to people that Ineed to eat, but I don't have
to.
You know how they have thatword.
What is that?
Angry or hungry.
Yeah, I don't get there.
There are moments when I'mhungry and I'm feeling the
energy drain and someone'sasking me or demanding something
of me and I can nicely look atthem and go here's what's
(48:17):
happening.
I'm losing energy and as I loseenergy, I feel like I'm about
to get upset.
So, before I get there, is itokay with you if I eat and not
answer you at this moment intime when you're able to do that
and you can still be calm andsay it yeah, I know for a fact
I've come far absolutely,absolutely.
Christina L. Woods (48:39):
And just sharing all these things I think
is so important so other peopledon't feel alone and isolated,
and learn these practices.
Nikisha King (48:47):
Yeah, so I feel like all of your gold nuggets
you shared.
I'd like, oh my god, and Istill, I don't stop.
It's not a learn it and it'sdone with moment.
It's a management moment, it isa journey, it is and it keeps
going.
I'm going to always write, I'malways going to journal, I'm
always going to have valleys,right, because that is life.
(49:10):
It's a just situation.
It's not a I'm always going tobe in the clouds.
I'm going to have a down moment, but I get to discover why I'm
having a down moment where somepeople don't choose to discover
that.
That's what you're sharing.
That's what the quiet time is.
It's like why are you havingthis moment?
Get curious right, absolutely,yeah.
(49:30):
So I feel like everythingyou're sharing, oh, my goodness.
Thank you.
Thank you for being in theworld, thank you for deciding to
do this second career.
Thank you Because somethingcould have stopped you from
deciding this.
Your security in your firstcareer could have made you feel
so comfortable.
That second career didn't feellike you can even do it, and
that's what a lot ofentrepreneurs go through when
(49:51):
they're transitioning from agreat opportunity to something
new.
When you're an entrepreneur andyou might have a spouse that's
holding the family togetherfinancially.
There's a lot of things thatwe're uncomfortable with, and
the uncomfort is where we grow,but we just don't know that
because we haven't seen theevidence, we haven't paid
(50:13):
attention, because we haven'thad the quiet time to pay
attention.
So it's truly, truly an honorto have you in the world,
because I know what you do issomething I do, but I know we
can't do it alone.
It's no way and we were put herefor a reason to do what we do,
and I'm grateful we found ourreason, because now we can serve
(50:33):
from a place that has nothingto do with us, but to give from
the gift that we have and we'vereceived from our core
curriculum.
Christina L. Woods (50:42):
I'm so grateful to be here.
Just hearing your words, theway you express yourself,
sharing stories, it's really,really, truly a gift, thank you.
Nikisha King (50:49):
Thank you.
Thank you, my dear.
So we are going to concludethis episode with our Identity
Series, leading Her Way podcast,and I truly hope, if you love
this, to please share it withsomeone who can also get what
they require for their journeyin the business world, in their
personal world.
This episode, in my opinion,was a really good one and, first
(51:13):
and foremost, me and Christineare meeting for the first time
in this episode, but I'mgrateful to say this will not be
our only time chatting, andthank you so much once again,
christina.
Christina L. Woods (51:23):
Thank you.
Nikisha King (51:24):
Nikisha .
All right, hey, before you go,I got a golden opportunity for
you.
Yes, you, it's a chance that'stoo good to pass up, a chance to
work with me one-on-onepractically for free.
(51:39):
Imagine waving a magic wand and saying goodbye to feeling
completely overwhelmed, anxiousand all those feelings that keep
you stuck from selling yourservices.
You know that feeling where youcan't make decisions.
Nikisha King (51:51):
You're on the hamster wheel.
I know I was there, but what ifI told you I can help you get
rid of that feeling forever?
Not only five minutes, 10minutes, but forever.
Yes, to the point where workingon your newsletter website
creating content feels like abreeze.
This week I only have fourexclusive spots for a one-to-one
(52:12):
opportunity with me.
It's not a webinar, it's not aworkshop.
It's not a workshop.
(52:16):
It's only you and me for 60 minutes where I'll teach you my
aha method to get rid of thatoverwhelmed feeling forever.
Listen, don't walk, but runover to focusnakishakingcom.
Nikisha King (52:31):
It's in the show notes and grab one of my limited
spots.
It's limited and so many peoplekeep asking for it, so it's
going to be gone in a second.
And remember, don't tell anyoneabout this great opportunity.
It's just between you and me.
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