Encouragment Is Better Than Praise

We've all been hit with a barrage of "You're amazing!" comments that somehow feel empty despite their positivity. But what if there's a deeper, more meaningful way to lift others up? This enlightening episode dives into the profound difference between casual praise and genuine encouragement.

Discover the fascinating etymological connection between courage and encouragement, both sharing the root word "cor" meaning "heart." This revelation illuminates why true encouragement feels so different – it's not about labeling someone with positive attributes, but rather sharing how they've touched your heart and impacted your life. Drawing wisdom from Adlerian psychology, I explore how this distinction transforms our connections with others.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Let it Be Easy with Susie Moore.
Are you an encourager?
Do you encourage other people?
Oh my, the world needs moreencouragers.
I had a thought the other day.

(00:21):
I thought does the wordencourage and the word courage
like there has to be analignment here?
I mean the word courage is inencourage and I did a little bit
of research and yes, they doshare the same root word, core,
c-o-r, meaning heart.
Isn't that beautiful To havecourage means you use your heart

(00:44):
To encourage others, means youshare your heart and maybe even
remind others of the heart thatthey have within them.
Whenever I think about whatencouragement means to me it's
not praise, it's not kind ofcheap, happy, you're the best,
you're amazing and look we seethis a lot and look wonderful.

(01:05):
Anything, any love you put intothe world, it's always going to
be.
I mean, it's always a plus.
Right, more love in the worldis always a plus.
But for me, encouragement is alittle bit different, and this
is inspired by Adlerianpsychology, alfred Adler, the
late psychologist.
He spoke about encouragementspecifically as a helpful tool

(01:27):
for children and for adults.
So let me give you an examplehere, instead of giving a
judgment like you're so hot,you're so cute, you're so smart.
We want to tell people theimpact that they've had on us,
and this is an example Iactually wrote about in the book
Let it Be Easy.
Imagine somebody comes to yourhouse and she's an amazing

(01:49):
organizer.
There's a friend that you haveand she's just naturally really
good at putting things in a waythat it just looks great easy to
manage.
I mean, I wish I were a bitmore like this.
My mother-in-law's like this,but really just the incredible
natural organizer.
Say you needed a bit of helpand your friend came over and
organized your home or part ofyour home.

(02:10):
It's very easy to go.
You're the best, you're amazing, you're incredible, you're an
organizational whiz.
And those things might be trueand if it feels right for you
and in your integrity, say whatfeels good.
But what about this?
What about something like this?
Instead, try it on, see how itfeels.
Imagine it were you.
You were the organizer and youcame to my house and I'm like,

(02:32):
wow, you're such a whiz, you'remagic, thank you, cool.
One thing that would be praise,encouragement, would be hey, you
know, I was feeling reallyoverwhelmed before you came over
and it felt as if someone wasshowing up for me today and that
generosity of spirit that Icould just feel.

(02:52):
It really meant a lot to me andI feel so much more calm in my
house now.
Do you see?
They're both positive, bothuplifting, but one is about what
it means to you.
We're making it about you andthe benefits you've experienced,
or what your gratitude leansinto, versus giving a judgment

(03:14):
on a person.
So, instead of labelingsomething as good or bad, a whiz
or not a whiz, brilliant or notso brilliant, there is a
sincerity and a depth and athoughtfulness and a
non-judgmental way to shareencouragement.
Now, the reason I want to kindof drill down on what I mean by

(03:36):
non-judgment is, even ifsomething's a positive judgment
like you're brilliant, it'sstill a judgment and sometimes
when people praise us or saywe're something we're like, gosh
, I've still got to be thatthing that you have placed upon
me.
That's like a label that youhave I'm brilliant, so I better
always be brilliant.
Versus explaining the impactI've had on you, making it about

(03:58):
you and, yes, the situation andthe generosity and the showing
up, but what it meant for you.
I would feel so encouraged,wouldn't you, if someone said,
hey, this is the impact thatyou've had on me.
This is what it's meant to me,and it's not because you're XYZ,
it's because, in your presence,this is what I have received.

(04:24):
What, if all judgments aresomething that we can certainly
have.
Look, we're human, it's how wethink, but we're thoughtful and
conscious and willing to maybego a little deeper and encourage
others by letting them knowwhat they mean to us Courage,
encouragement coming from theheart.
Look like I said, there'snothing wrong with praise, but
sometimes praise can feel alittle cheap and you see it

(04:45):
thrown around.
Right, you're amazing.
You're amazing.
I see it on Instagram nonstop.
Everyone's so amazing and lookgreat.
Right, it's better than yousuck.
But I wonder if we took a moment, paused and really thought
about what does this mean to me?
What can I share?
That really is something comingfrom my heart core
encouragement, courage.

(05:06):
How can I show up in a way thatis encouraging this person?
Because really isn't that whatlove is?
It's not something that we justsplash around thoughtlessly,
even over give.
In certain ways, maybe we'lleven say less, but we will do it
with great intention.

(05:27):
Encouragement over praise.
How can you implement or testor play around with this this
week Until tomorrow, my friends,so much love and ease Until

(05:56):
tomorrow, my friends.
So much love and ease, dot com.
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(06:17):
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