People Who Can't Self-Regulate, Manipulate

Have you ever wondered why certain people in your life constantly try to control situations and manipulate others? Today's episode offers a profound insight that might forever change how you view these challenging dynamics.

Drawing from wisdom shared by Abraham Hicks, I explore the revolutionary concept that "people who don't calibrate manipulate." This simple yet powerful observation explains so much about human behavior and our relationships. When someone hasn't developed the ability to regulate their own emotions—to calibrate themselves to different situations—they often resort to controlling others as a way to feel better.

And, as a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my signature course, Slay Your Year (usually $997)! All you have to do is:

• Leave a review of this podcast.
• Email a screenshot of your review to [e-mail]

Simple as that!

If you'd love to watch the video version of our interviews, be sure to subscribe to the podcast's YouTube channel here.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to.
Let it Be Easy with Susie Moore.
I was just listening to someAbraham Hicks, who I love
listening to.
Just type into YouTube AbrahamHicks, h-i-c-k-s.
If you haven't already, if youdon't already know Abraham,

(00:23):
check it out.
Tell me what you think, dm me.
I'm at suzymoore on Instagram.
Oh, and, fun fact, I am going tobe taking your questions here
on the podcast.
So if you want to submit aquestion to me ahead of time,
whatever it is, just let me knowyour first name, your location,
if you're happy to say.
You know, I'm Katie fromColorado and I'm going to read

(00:47):
out your question maybe I'llabbreviate it a bit if it's long
on the longer side and then I'mgoing to give you an answer as
if I were your coach, my friends.
Okay, so all you have to do isping us info at suzy-morecom
with your question.
Okay, so I was just listeningto Abraham Hicks and this woman

(01:08):
was saying that she reallystruggles with her relationship
with her sister because hersister is what she would deem
extremely manipulative.
She tries to manipulatesituations, people and events so
that they go her way.
Maybe we all know someone likethis I know that I certainly do

(01:29):
and being manipulated, it's ahorrible feeling.
Our soul knows when we're beingmanipulated If someone's saying
something or doing something toreceive a certain reaction from
us, to get a certain responsethat they want to get us to
behave, a certain reaction fromus, to get a certain response
that they want to get us tobehave a certain way, to follow
them, maybe in a certaindirection.

(01:50):
But a line stood out thatAbraham said that I thought, oh,
I've got to share this with mylisteners.
It's so good, people who don'tcalibrate manipulate.
Now what does calibration mean?

(02:10):
It essentially means our ownability to regulate, to regulate
our emotions, to create withinus the feelings right.
Whenever we're calibrating in asituation, we are matching it,

(02:32):
we are dialing up or down ouremotional setting to fit in in a
certain situation and it'sabout really just tuning in to
what's appropriate.
So a dance party is differentto a talk with a friend who's
grieving.
That's different to launchingan exciting project at work.
That's different to havingmaybe a difficult conversation

(02:56):
with someone, if you need to seta boundary.
So calibrating is part of thehuman experience and those of us
who can calibrate easily, we gothrough life with a lot more
freedom.
We go through life with a lotless stress, because being able
to calibrate is a skill, and sowhen we can do this, when we
know how to manage our thoughtsand our emotions, when we know

(03:18):
how to behave in a way thatallows us to be relaxed, that
feels right for us, for thesituation we're in, we match it.
All is well.
There's nothing to worry about.
No one's freaking out.
We're not creating drama.
But when someone can't do this,they have to manipulate.
When they don't know how tosettle, when they can't find

(03:40):
their own steadiness, when theydon't know how to feel good in a
situation, maybe they feelthreatened, intimidated, scared,
envious, triggered.
When someone can't calibrate,they manipulate.
Meaning I need you to behavethis way so that I feel better.
I need you to stop doing that.
I need you to start doing thatso that I can feel okay.

(04:06):
And, my friends, when you're inthis position, when you're on
the receiving end, it'sinfuriating.
When someone's trying tomanipulate you, telling you what
to do, what not to do, do itthis way.
These are all the reasons.
It could even be verycompelling.
Now, we probably all hadexperiences with this to
different degrees.
Maybe it's been very serious inyour life, maybe it's minor

(04:30):
things in your life.
But the only thing, the onlything that I found helpful when
I've been in a position where Ifelt manipulated again and again
is to and this isn't easy,because all you want to do is
feel angry, or you want to rebel, or you want to just tell it
like it is, or you want toscream is knowing, is being

(04:50):
aware of the person who's doingthe manipulating, that person
who can't calibrate, knowingthat they in fact need your
compassion.
I'm not saying go againstyourself, just follow them,
because it's the easiest thingto do to get them to calm down
or it's the path of leastresistance.

(05:12):
But if someone can't calibrate,that is a very hard place to
live.
That person isn't living inpeace.
That person is living with thissense of oh, what's going to
happen next?
It better be something that Iwant, or I'm going to feel
terrible.
And so, from that place, fromfeeling terrible, I need to
control things that aren't mineto control.

(05:37):
I'm not saying you need to doanything.
I'm certainly not saying allowyourself to be manipulated, but
when you are aware of whysomeone is doing what they do.
I'm not saying the situation isperfect, that the harp stopped
playing and all is well, butwhen you are aware of it, when
you take a breath, you areconscious in that situation.

(05:59):
That's so uncomfortable, that's, yeah, indeed infuriating a lot
of the time.
Instead of acting, lashing out,matching their behavior, also
becoming uncalibrated, you canbe aware, you can breathe it in,
take a moment and, with thatinformation, decide what's best

(06:21):
for you, but not with fury, notwith anger, not with disdain,
but with a feeling ofunderstanding and knowing what's
really going on.
Until tomorrow, my friends, somuch love and ease.
Hey friend, I've got somethingreally cool for you.

(06:41):
I want to give you free accessto my signature course called
slay your year, which typicallysells for 997.
You can check it out, all thedetails at slayyouryearcom.
All you have to do to getaccess is leave me a review.
Leave a review of this podcaston Apple Podcasts, take a

(07:01):
snapshot of it and send it toinfo at suzy-morecom.
That's info at suzy-morecom,and we'll get you set up with
access.