When You Are Dreading Something...

"Dreading something is, in fact, making plans for it to suck." This powerful insight sets the stage for a transformative exploration of how our expectations quite literally create our experiences. When we "pre-pave" events or interactions with negative anticipation, we're essentially programming ourselves for disappointment before anything has even happened.

Consider how this plays out in your daily life. That meeting with the difficult colleague. The family gathering you're obligated to attend. The challenging project looming on your calendar. By mentally rehearsing how unpleasant these experiences will be, you're unconsciously setting an intention for precisely that outcome. But what if there's another way?

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• Leave a review of this podcast.
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Let it Be Easy with Susie Moore Dreading
something is, in fact, makingplans for it to suck.
Think about it when we it'scalled pre-paving when we

(00:21):
pre-pave an event in our mind,we are really setting the
intention for how it is going togo, because, my friends,
expectation is a very powerfulforce.
Think about it this way Ifyou've got that negative friend
or maybe that negative colleagueand you're going to spend time
with that person, you kind ofbrace yourself a bit, right.

(00:43):
You're like, okay, this isgoing to suck, but maybe I can
just limit it to a couple ofhours.
You know, I've got to like,really just pull it together for
this Pre-paving, you're alreadysetting the intention for how
it's going to go, you'reimagining it and you're stepping
right into it.
It's the same thing with asituation If you're like, oh,

(01:05):
I've got to go to this doctor'sappointment and it's going to
suck.
Or I've got to complete thisproject and it's going to be
really, really hard and arduous,or I'm taking this on and it's
just a huge endeavor.
It's going to take so much outof me.
This is pre-paving.
And I would like to ask you adifferent question today,
because, look, we do this inlife, we tend to expect that

(01:27):
past experiences are going to berepeated.
If we're going into similarsituations with people, with
circumstances, with events, weuse past data to dictate future
experiences.
It's just sorting our minds andour memories.
What if, instead, we opened ourcuriosity valve and we thought

(01:50):
to ourselves I'm going to allowmyself to be surprised.
What if this person, what ifthis event, this gathering, this
thing that I would typicallydread, what if it could surprise
me?
Because this is what happens.
My friends, for example okay,let me put this in context for
you Just say that I'm going toan event that really isn't my

(02:13):
kind of thing, but I'm doing itfor a friend, because it's
important to them.
Maybe they're a sponsor of theevent, or maybe it's even a
charity gathering, and I go okay, well, I kind of know how these
go.
They're a bit stuffy, but yougo.
Okay, well, I kind of know howthese go.
They're a bit stuffy, but yougo, you make an appearance, you
do the right thing and then youleave.
You are pre-paving somethingkind of unpleasant to get
through until you're free, atwhatever 9 pm, you'll be free,

(02:40):
you'll be free to go.
What if, instead and this isthe truth, think about it.
You come back to reality, comeback to your body, come back to
the present moment, not the past, not looking at past
experiences, but being groundedin the now and saying I'm going
to allow myself to be surprisedtoday.
I'm going to allow surprisehere.
I am not going to come in withmy fixed ideas, my rigidity on

(03:05):
what to expect now.
I'm going to allow myself to beopen, to be curious, to open my
eyes.
What's really interesting whenthis happens is that an event
that I went to recently that Ithought would be a bit dull and
stodgy and boring turned out tobe kind of fun.
Look, it wasn't the mostthrilling experience of my life,
but I felt like I even lookedat the room differently.

(03:29):
I engaged in conversations witha bit more curiosity, not just
my kind of cut pleasant behaviorto get through the hour or so.
I asked people questions, I waslooking around the room, I paid
attention to the music.
There is an aliveness and aconnectivity that happens when
we don't already anticipateexactly how things are going to

(03:52):
go, especially when we're notanticipating things going too
well or too happily for us.
Most importantly, I think we dothis with people.
We have a version of them inour minds, of who they are.
It's fixed, it's onedimensional and, as a result,
that's all we see.
We actually don't see theirsweet side, their funny side,

(04:13):
their intelligent side, the sideof that person that's actually
maybe far more beautiful andloving.
Because you're like, no, thatyou know four years ago that
person X, y, z, and so now fillin the blank about that person.
What if we don't have acomplete picture?
What if we're not just sellingourselves short from our

(04:34):
beautiful daily experiences butwe're robbing ourselves of
connection to others because ofjudgments that we formed,
however long ago, that maybearen't necessarily not so true
anymore, but were nevercompletely true in the first
place.
Allowing yourself to besurprised, bringing an open
heart, an open mind and openeyes.

(04:56):
There is so much possibility inthis.
Until tomorrow, my friends, somuch love and ease.
Hey, friend, I've got somethingreally cool for you.
I want to give you free accessto my signature course called
slay your year, which typicallysells for 997.

(05:19):
You can check it out, all thedetails at slayyouryearcom.
All you have to do to getaccess is leave me a review.
Leave a review of this podcaston Apple Podcasts, take a
snapshot of it and send it toinfo at suzy-morecom.
That's info at suzy-morecom andwe'll get you set up with

(05:41):
access.