October 28, 2024 • 41 mins
What does it mean to raise godly children in today’s ever-shifting landscape? Imagine the pride and joy of watching your 10-year-old son, Jordan, take charge of his faith journey by consistently bringing his Bible to church. This heartwarming moment sparks a broader conversation about how we, as parents, can guide our children to impact the world positively and live a Christ-centered life, even when societal values seem turned upside down. Throughout our journey, we explore the delicate balance of giving children a say in decisions while steering them with wisdom and clarity.
Consequences are not just a part of life; they are pivotal learning experiences. As we navigate intentional parenting, we reflect on the profound differences between cultural Christianity and truly living a life centered around Jesus. It's about more than just words—it's about actions and commitments, like making church attendance as non-negotiable as school or sports. The challenges of parenting today remind us that our children often mirror our own unresolved issues, prompting us to engage in personal growth alongside them. This episode challenges listeners to rethink the role of consequences and the importance of practicing what we preach.
Building authentic relationships with our children requires love, boundaries, and lots of laughter. We discuss the necessity of establishing a biblical foundation while setting clear rules and nurturing strong connections through quality family time. Intentionality is key—from prioritizing family activities to creating a supportive church community that shares our values. By making thoughtful choices, like deciding not to celebrate certain cultural events, we express our commitment to faith and family. Join us as we encourage each other to foster deeper relationships with God, our family, and ourselves, knowing we're all in this journey of parenthood together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, what's up everybody.
Welcome to let's Dig thepodcast.
You guys know why we are here.
We are here to help you grow adeeper relationship with God,
others and yourself.
And, speaking of thesecategories, one relationship
that I've been really enjoyingright now is our relationship,
my relationship with Jordan.
He's our 10-year-old son.
For those of you guys who don'tknow that Matter of fact, I'm
(00:20):
just going to jump into a story.
This morning this happened.
I'm just going to jump into astory this morning.
This happened Just this morning.
I am so proud.
Proud dad, like I got a littleemotional, I went for my eye
right now.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I went for my eye.
Hold on y'all, Stop the train.
Pierre said he was emotionaland he touched his eye because
tears were about to fall.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
No, I touched my eye right now because something went
in my eye.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yes, dust, right in my eye, yes, dust right.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Sure it's called emotions, that's what went in
your eye no.
So you know how people bejoking.
They're like something's in myeye, no, something literally in
my eye right now.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah actually that's happened to me one time we were
recording.
It was the worst.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I had to just push through so go, yeah, so
something's actually in my eyes,not like, yeah, no, I'm not
crying, you're crying, no,literally something's in my eye.
But but this morning, man, itmade me so, just proud, so happy
.
So we left the house, all fourof us in the car, and we drop
off Brooklyn.
She's our four-year-old guys.
If you guys don't know Brooklyn, she's four.
(01:15):
And for those of you that havebeen along with us for the last
couple years, brooklyn, herpersonality has just really been
taken off.
Her personality is just crazy,just really been taken off.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
She's just.
Her personality is just crazy.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
She is.
She's still a raccoon and a catsometimes.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Because you ever try to pet a raccoon right.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
That's her sometimes.
I tried to kiss her yesterdayand I got the raccoon Straight
up raccoon, like raccoon frombuddy to elf, do you?
Need a hug.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, yeah, so we drop her off right and while
we're sitting in the car me andjordan in the car he's in the
back seat and he says oh man,dang it that chad says that all
the time?
Yeah, and I'm like yeah, he'slike.
Dad, when you pick me up today,can you grab my bible for me,
(02:00):
my bible, and like my pencilholder.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So cute for church tonight.
For church tonight.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
And to hear how passionate he was about that.
And today he has school, heloves school, he has flag
football, he's in band, he'sdoing all these things that he's
really enjoying.
And to hear how upset he wasthat he forgot his Bible really
like blessed me.
It made me happy, really likeblessed me.
(02:27):
It made me happy.
It brought peace to my heartthat our 10 year old son values
his Bible.
So today I want to have aconversation about what does it
look like to raise godlychildren.
What does it look like to bringin people into this world, to
influence kids in this worldthat will impact the culture and
to live, you know, aChrist-centered life.
(02:48):
You know, and also this may noteven just be for those who are
parents that's listening to.
Maybe you desire to be a parentone day, or maybe you just have
people in your circle that areparents, or maybe you want to go
back and tell your parents likeyo, here's what you should have
done right, or ask betterquestions Right.
But I really want to talk aboutthat man, because we live in a
(03:09):
wild world right now.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I say wild, all the West side, westernized
civilization.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
It's wild just because of freedom of speech.
It just got crazy.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Like people, just good.
What is good is evil.
What is evil is good, like it'sliterally flip-flopped in this
culture.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yo, someone showed me this, this funny diagram.
It wasn't funny, it was kind ofcrazy.
It was showing how um shootingsare up and all these crazy
things that are happening inAmerica.
It's up, up, up, up up.
But here's what's down Callingpeople gay, calling people
retarded, all that stuff is down.
The guy was joking, he wasbasically.
(03:55):
He was saying, basically, if wecan go back to where we can,
just say whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
say whatever, if those words weren't taboo then
the shootings would go down.
That is wildly inappropriate.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
It is very, but let's dig, oh my word, let's dig
Quick.
Let's dig.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
But yeah, man, it made me happy today, that is
really cool and I know that weare in an interesting season
with him.
Even today we talked about likesome school things about with
him and I told him I said,Jordan, like you said, yeah,
think about it, buddy.
Think about what your, whatyour thoughts are and what your
(04:32):
ideas are.
And I said, yeah, Jordan, youknow what.
Like you're not going to makethe decision.
I said, but you are getting tothe age where you get to have an
opinion and I was like we'llmake the best decision for you.
And you even jumped in and saidyou have to trust that we'll
make the best decision for you,but we do want to hear what
would you like to do or what isyour opinion?
(04:52):
And so we're at a veryinteresting phase with him.
Listen, y'all, if you don'tknow, and you're not raising
kids right now, 10 year oldsthink they are grown to the max.
Like when we were 10, I stilljust wanted a happy meal, like
some fake makeup, like it wasvery innocent at 10.
And now how the world is, it'scompletely different,
interesting, like um.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
For us millennials and I I guess even gen xers and
and baby boomers, like you guys,remember growing up life was a
little bit simpler and you know,you know speaking of trust.
So you're talking about trustlike we.
I feel like growing up wetrusted our parents more.
I feel like we trusted ourparents more, like they would
make decisions, they would makecalls and we just didn't
(05:35):
question it because we justtrusted them.
And it's interesting times now,like nowadays, like kids are
equal to their parents, ornowadays it's like kids run the
show, it's all about the kidsschedule, it's everything that.
Well, we got to check withlittle timmy's little.
You know, I say I listen alittle to you, like my brother's
name is tim.
Literally we call him timmyright, but we got to check with
little billy.
(05:55):
I I know a few billies too.
Um, I'm just gonna go throughskeeter.
I don't know no skeeters wedon't use Skeeters.
It'd be like Skeeter.
Well, he's a white kid, allright.
Devante Brandon, that could bewhite or black.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
That could go either way, that's true.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Is it Brandon or Brandon?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I know a few Brandons too.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Okay, wait, actually, if he's black, he's Brandon, if
he's white, he's Brendan.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Brendan, that is a hundred percent true.
Oh, my word.
Actually, there's someone thatI their name is similar to that
and you were like, no, that'snot his name, cause this guy's
white, and you keep calling hima black name, and I was like I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
It's not Brandon, it's Brendan, all right.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Anyways, it is a very true statement, though Like
number one statement, thoughLike number one.
I think our generation is inthis phase where we're learning
that our parents were notperfect.
When you grow up, you only seeyour parents as perfect.
You don't see any of theirflaws.
But once you become an adult,you move out of their house, you
start living life and havingyour own experiences and your
(06:59):
own children.
You start to see flaws in yourparents, which is a really hard
time in life, but you have toaccept it.
You have to learn to love yourparents as they are, including
those flaws, right.
But I think what happens insociety is that when a
generation has a pendulum, oneway which for our generation,
(07:22):
our parents did not give us avoice, did not hear us, did not
let us talk back, we did nothave value or opinions.
in that sense, we have value,but, like you hear what I'm
saying.
When we became a parents, weswung the pendulum the other way
and now it's all you know.
What are your feelings?
Do you have big feelings?
(07:43):
Do you not have words for yourfeelings?
What do you think?
Everything had swung thependulum completely the opposite
way, where we gave our kids allthis power to talk and all this
power to vocalize theiremotions.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
You remember that movie Rocky.
You probably didn't watch Rocky1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yes, I don't remember which one I've seen.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
This was the one where I think was Rocky it was
maybe four or five, like hestopped wrestling or wrestling.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Rocky the wrestler.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
He stopped boxing.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I saw the Russian one and the black guy one.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
So after OK, the black guy, one, ok, that's
Apollo.
Have show some respect.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
I don't know.
Ok, apollo, because Creedno-transcript.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
End of the movie.
Like you know, rocky punchesthe guy, he punches him and he's
like sue me for what?
Right?
Because rock is broke.
But you know what?
That's the generation we'reliving in right now.
These kids are like whoop meand I'll sue you bomb we went
through that whole story forthat.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
It is true, though, that our kids would.
But it's true, like, even withdiscipline.
Like we got whooped.
We got whooped with a belt, wegot whooped with a spatula, a
twig like yeah whatever ourparents could find.
And now, in this generation, wehave chosen to not take that
route yeah but the pendulum hasswung so far that now we may not
discipline at all I love thisverse right so?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
So Proverbs 29, verse 17,.
It says discipline yourchildren and they will give you
peace, they will bring you thedelights you desire.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
That's really good.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
So when you go to spank your kids or black people
say beat your kids right, no, wedon't beat our kids right.
But when you go to disciplineyour kids because spanking them
is not always disciplined- Right.
Right, you know there's been alot of parents, I know for us
growing up man like we.
You know we got spanked becauseour dad was just mad.
That wasn't discipline, he justpissed off.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
He just mad.
And that was actually.
And then now I'm mad.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
That's true, and that was actually the turn for us
with like whooping our kids, wasthat I realized I didn't like
how mad I got when I did it?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
For you it wasn't a thing.
You were very like, very, um,how would you describe like,
very, even like very thought out, very thought out, very
calculated, very intentional.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I'm going to spank them today.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yes, I would lose my patience and my frustration.
I didn't like that.
So then we started leaning intomore of consequences, and I
heard Craig Rochelle say thatconsequences are great teachers,
great teachers, but if we keepthose consequences from our
children, they will never learnwhat happens when, as a result
(10:39):
of what their choices are.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
If we keep that.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
If we keep consequences from our kids,
they'll never understand thatevery decision they make has a
consequence, good or bad.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, I think too, like some parents don't even
realize that they're just livingtheir lives day by day with
their kids and just taking itday by day, not even praying
about it, not even thinkingabout it, not even processing,
and you're not even realizingthat every single day is a
memory that you are making foryour kid yeah well, we don't
realize, like, how you react,how you respond, how you
(11:11):
discipline, how you train them.
It's a memory.
All of us can go back in lifeand say I remember when my dad,
someone said I remember therewas one time my mom and
sometimes our parents will say Idon't even remember that is
very, but they created memoriesin our lives and I feel like for
us as Christians, and not justChristians I'm not talking about
just like Americanized,westernized, watered, cultured
(11:34):
Christians.
My grandparents were Christians.
If you go to church on Christmas, easter, you know a few of the
other days some random festival,if you go for some baby
dedication or you're going toget baptized or something like
that, you know, a few other days, some random festival, if you
go for some baby dedication oryou're going to get baptized or
something like that, that'sculture, christianity that's
just Americanized, watered down,like we just say it.
(11:55):
Oh, I'm a Christian.
Oh, really, have you given yourlife to Christ?
Well, my mom and her grandmaback?
You're not a Christian I'mtalking about.
Christ is at the center, yeah,and we are a family that don't
just believe in Jesus Right, wefollow Jesus.
Remember I was talking aboutthat today?
Yeah, like in the car that Ithink there's a big difference
(12:16):
of being a believer of Christand a follower of Christ.
It's true, here in America,almost everybody, just everyone
knows God and they believe inthe existence of Jesus.
True, most people believe heexists.
Oh, yeah, I believe he exists.
Yeah, but believing in him isdifferent from following him.
And for us as a Christ centeredfamily.
(12:39):
We sat down and hadconversations of like yo, church
is not an option.
Right, sat down and hadconversations of like yo, church
is not an option.
Church is not.
You know, like I heard someonesaying like why, in the American
household that so-called wecall ourselves Christians, that,
oh, you're going to school,you're going to practice, you're
(12:59):
not missing out on thattraining, you're going to this
camp, the kids say are we goingto church?
I don't know, maybe let's see.
So true, why is church the onlything that so many families
look for all kind of excuses tomiss?
And here's the thing.
Like, if you guys are parents,no matter whatever the heck you
(13:20):
say to your kids, listen, theyjust gonna watch what you do
they don't become what you say.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
They become what they see, whatever they're showing
them you demonstrate.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
So I say this as a leader in all my leadership um
training I I always say don't befrustrated with what you have
demonstrated, hello somebody soif you're mad because when you
ate, cause your kids orteenagers or your kids don't
want it, like, for example, likemy, my, like, for example,
jordan, there's some stuff, somefoods he just will not touch,
(13:51):
some vegetables he will nottouch.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I'm not mad at him, cause you don't touch him either
.
I don't touch him either Me andBrooklyn will be putting down
some broccoli but you know whatI'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I can't be frustrated with what I've demonstrated,
yeah, and with what I'vedemonstrated, yeah, sure, and
like parents right, you guys are.
You know, if you're in a seasonwhere you're really frustrated
with your kids, you really gotto ask yourself okay, who do
they get this from?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I heard someone say the other day that the most
humbling part of parenthood iswatching your children struggle
with the things that you neverovercame.
And I had to swallow that onehard because I see that a lot in
one of our kids.
They are very similar to me andI watch them and I try to like
help them.
But even sometimes I look atyou and I'm like I didn't fix
(14:34):
this part about me.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
I don't know how to fix it.
There's times you'll, jordan,be acting up.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Oh, you're just going to tell him.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And I'll, I'll look at, yeah we, we digging right
now.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
We let them, we're letting them into our personal
conversation.
Jordan is wired like his mama.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Jordan will do some stuff and I'm like Dan Lee, this
is straight you, I need you tocome in and jump in and help
this guy out.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
But I look at him and I'm like I didn't figure out
the solution so I can't help himbecause I still have a pile of
clothes in my room.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
That's wild, that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
So I'm like I don't have this solution.
Yes, he got it from me, but Ididn't master it.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
So now I need you to help me teach him how to master
it.
Yeah, I think, too, a lot ofpeople struggle with raising
their kids because they haven'treally established their own
values, meaning you can'tenforce something that you don't
even know.
So, for example, like we talkabout OK, praying Right.
Is praying something that we doonce a day?
(15:30):
Is praying something that we dojust when we sit down to eat?
Is praying something that we dowhen we go to church?
Or have we sat down and saywhat does prayer mean to us?
What does prayer look like tous?
And I think some parents areafraid to even tap or tap into
some topics because they'venever really sat down and really
drew the hard lines, becausethey'd have to hold themselves
(15:50):
accountable to it.
That is true, Like you know whatI mean, because you can say
whatever you want to say aboutGod.
You can say whatever you wantto say about Jesus.
You can say whatever you wantto say about prayer, but if you
don't demonstrate it to yourkids it don't matter what you
say to them, like with me goingto the gym.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
I didn't love the gym for 10 solid years, but now
that Jordan's training and hewants to be an athlete, he has a
little workout plan that hedoes at home.
But guess what?
He talks himself out of it alot and I'm like, bro, you're
going to talk yourself out of itevery day.
It's either you decide to do itor you don't.
Because that is what I havedemonstrated is that mommy goes
to the gym every day.
(16:27):
Do I want to go?
No, homie, I don't.
But I've known that that iswhat makes the difference of me
being healthy.
And then he'll pull it back atme.
He'll be like mom, isn't thiswhat you go to the gym for?
So you can be strong.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Like bruh.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah, God says.
He said these commandments thatI give you today are to be on
your hearts and press them onyour children and press them,
(16:59):
Talk about them when you sit athome and when you walk along the
road, when you lie down andwhen you get up.
Like for us parents, like weneed to, like we're encouraged
to teach our, our kids, likeGod's commandments and make them
a really big central part ofour daily lives.
It's important for us.
There's some stuff that's justnon-negotiable and I know it's
(17:22):
unlike.
I say this all the time.
To Jordan I said you're goingto thank me for this in 20 years
.
How often do I say that A lot.
I'll make decisions and I knowit's hard, but the Bible says
train up a kid in a way thatthey'll never depart from.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I got the scripture right here, just for those of
you that don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
This is.
Proverbs 22 says train up achild in a way he should go.
Even when he is old, he willnot depart from it.
I think so many parentsunderestimate that.
I think all parents know thatbut don't even realize that
training up a kid, it's ineverything you do and everything
that you say.
When he's an old man he won'tdepart from it.
What does that mean?
(17:55):
When he's an old man, he'sgoing to still remember his
formative years.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
And listen.
I'll tell you, I've hadconversations with moms that are
older than me, so theirchildren are older than you know
our kids and I've hadconversations with moms that
planted those seeds and I havehad conversations with those
moms that did it, and it is awhole different factor of peace
that comes with the mom who said, no, I took them to church when
(18:19):
they were a kid.
They have asked Jesus to comeinto their life.
They may not live it right nowin their teenage years, or there
may be like wandering and goingout into different places and
they're in the mom's concerned.
But the mom that knows that, no, I raised my child in the house
of God and for me, in my house,we will serve the Lord.
Holding that promise fromProverbs 22 is completely
(18:41):
different to a mom who's like Ijust got saved two years ago.
I didn't know, I didn't.
And I have to encourage thatmom in a completely different
way of like you didn't know.
So you're walking this out withgrace.
So you're walking this out withgrace.
So you have to be really led bythe Holy Spirit of what you say
and what you don't push andthat you are, you know like it's
a completely different aspect.
(19:01):
So when you are a parent and youhave children and you know the
word of God and you know thetruth to be, that if I raise
them up in the way of the Lordnow, when they were old, they
will not depart.
So I don't care what theteenage years look like, I
believe that they won't have togo through that, but if they do,
I have a promise to stand on tosay that my child will come
(19:22):
back.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Yeah, yeah, and you know what?
I'll be honest.
Um, I am proud to say that wehad this revelation while our
kids were young, still young,and being born.
We knew that.
You know my heart goes out forthose that, those parents that
have teenage kids that are stillstruggling or you're afraid to
(19:44):
have these topics, like I.
Had the conversation with our 10year old son about sex and
about where babies come from.
We've talked about it.
I taught him about sex andabout where babies come from.
We've talked about it.
I taught him about sex.
I taught him about porn.
I taught him about masturbation.
I talked to him abouteverything.
What does it look like to havebabies outside of marriage, even
(20:05):
the law of first mention?
So, before I even mention allthese things, I asked him if
he's heard any of those wordsbefore, because I needed to know
if I needed to undo anything.
And I think so many parents areafraid to have a conversation,
or they just pray that the graceof God would just cover them,
or you just think your kid isinnocent, man, your kid ain't
innocent.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
All right.
The ages get younger andyounger, y'all.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
You weren't innocent.
Put yourself back in theirshoes Like where were you and
you know what.
At the end of the day, theBible also just say like a
parent who doesn't disciplinetheir kid hates them.
Right, you love, you love them.
That's why we discipline them.
That's why we do that.
I love my kids so much and Isee it like this man.
Jesus says the kingdom ofheaven is like the kingdom of
(20:49):
heaven.
It's like a master who givestalents to the servants.
One servant, he gave them five.
One servant he gave them three.
Other one he gave them oneright, or two or one, I don't
remember the actual one, three,five yeah.
And I think of it as I love thatparable, because that story can
mean so many different things.
For some it could meanresources, it could mean money,
others it could mean propertyright.
(21:11):
Others it could mean aninheritance.
For some it could mean yourchildren.
You may think, man, I don'thave.
I know some mothers likefinancially they're not doing
well, but their kids are good,healthy, god-fearing Christ at
the center of their lives.
Children you tell me who'sdoing better the mom who got all
the money but the kids are wild, or the mother who ain't got no
(21:34):
money but their kids are lockedinto Christ.
And so I think that thatparable, when Jesus talking like
the talents, like five I meanmy mom had five of us she sure
did and I stood and we stoodright there next to her on her
deathbed and she blessed us all.
We released her, I held herhand, I kissed her, I said mom,
(21:56):
you did good, we are fine, welove the Lord, we're preaching
the gospel.
And your grandchildren look atthem right here they fear God.
Yeah, straight up, fear God.
And so I think, like for thoseparents that that have teenagers
that are wayward right, Ihaven't used that word before
Wayward, wayward, you know thatare gone.
I don't know what to tell you.
(22:17):
I'm not going to sit here andsay like here's what we did with
our teenagers, we I don't know,so I'm not going to sit here
and be like, well, here's whatwe did, but here's what I can do
is encourage you.
It's first of all, pray foryourself.
Pray that God gives you wisdomon how to correct them, Because
there can still be coursecorrections.
But training is not going tohappen overnight.
(22:39):
You don't go to the gym andjust train one day and be like
all right, good, Six pack ishere, it's a course, it's a
season.
So parents like you can't tellyour kids we're going to start
going to church and after two,three Sundays you drop off, Like
it's literally.
You make a commitment foryourself and that's why I said I
think some parents are afraidto set the bar because they
can't keep it.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
And here's one thing that I will say our generation
has gotten right, and that isthat we have learned to be
humble in front of our kids,whether it's an apology or an
acceptance of like man, I messedthat up.
Our generation before us, ourparents, never said you know,
sorry, I did that wrong, or Ishould have done better, or or
(23:19):
very rarely I should say.
There was an occasions, butlike very rarely did that
generation do that.
But with our generation, wehave made it almost normal to
tell our kids, like hey, Ididn't deal with that the right
way and I'm sorry.
And so, talking to parents thathave not had their children in
church this whole time, like asyou're encouraging those parents
(23:39):
of saying, like your teenagersmay be out there and you didn't
raise them up in church for 20years or 15 years, but now
you're trying to course correct,I would say, to encourage that
parent to say, like, come tothem humbly and say, hey, I
didn't know this stuff 10 yearsago when you were little.
I'm just learning it now.
So here's what I want you tosee, here's what I want you to
(24:01):
know.
Like you know, we just had ourlast episode about Halloween and
I was talking to a mother inthe same situation and it was
about Halloween and they used tocelebrate Halloween for years,
so her kids are so used to it.
Now she wants nothing to do withit, but she doesn't know how to
walk this out with her kidsbecause she doesn't want to
think like make her kids thinkall of a sudden that like, oh,
(24:24):
mom got saved, so now we can'thave any fun.
And I was like I would justshow them and let them come to
the conclusion themselves, showthem what is right and the truth
that you have learned, and thenlet the Holy spirit reveal it
to them.
And I was like, cause she'sright, you can't just go in and
lay the law down.
And you'd be like who are you?
Where'd you come from?
But it was the two things yousaid of, like pray for your
(24:45):
children, pray for the Holyspirit to lead you.
And then I think is to behumble and to say like, hey,
this is where I've messed up,but this is what I'm trying to
get right.
Kids these days will respectthat so much.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah, two things.
So you said one thing aboutapproaching your kids humbly.
I think there is a line, though, because I think some parents
demonstrate too much weakness totheir kids of like, interesting
, I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm sorry, bubba.
I'm sorry, I said Bubba.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
You just said that for the white people.
Wait, what did I say at thefootball game the other day?
I said oh, I said it's okay,good job, buddy.
And then I looked at you and Isaid I don't know that child and
I called him buddy that's funnyum it was a very white.
I don't talk to other people'skids.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I don't talk to other kids, other people, kids.
These kids be showing up in itone kid, but like whatever,
we're not gonna share thesestories right now.
So I will say, though I dothink that some parents show all
their cards to their kids likeof like I don't have nothing, I
don't know what I'm doing, I'msorry.
I think there just needs to bea line of like if you're going
(26:01):
to go to your kids and apologizeabout something but tell them
where you're going to do betterand stand your ground and be
firm in it.
Do some freaking research, lookinto like, get some books,
listen to some podcasts, likelet's dig the podcast stuff,
like that Right.
Yeah, Honestly before you go toyour kids.
It's like I'm sorry, buddy, Idon't know what I'm doing.
I'm sorry, will you forgive me,son, I'll try to do better.
Please, like, please, like.
(26:22):
A parent shouldn't be playingand begging their kids like that
no, you're still the parent,you're still in control.
I think what happens is a lot ofthese parents are just too
hands off.
They let the culture come atthem and the parents now on the
back end tries to become theirfriend with no laws.
And then the second thing thatyou said I do believe in laws
and rules Right In our household, like in our household, we're
(26:46):
the boss.
Our kids are not equal to us.
Yes, they do not get a vote.
They do not get a.
Say so I do agree, there aretimes we may allow them to say
something Right, right, evenwhen we go through the
drive-thru, we go throughChick-fil-A and all the kids be
ready to put in the order, Isaid zip, zip, zip, zip, zip,
zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip
it Nothing.
Right, and so we know.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Why do you say that so weird?
You know, get some chickennuggets chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
If you guys are ever in a car with me, we go through,
drive throughs, it's.
It's always interesting becauseI never know what name I'm
going to give you know that onetime we never know what name
you're going to get.
We show up to a drive throughlike Chick-fil-A or In-N-Out,
and I was like, they're like,can I get a name forthru?
It was like chick-fil-a or inand out and I was like, uh,
they're like can I get a namefor an order?
I was like pablo.
They're like angel.
I was like, yes, angel that'sright, it was last week you were
(27:40):
angel, I.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
It's wild, but you're right.
I think you're right.
There is a balance to thosethings.
I do think, though, like um,what I was saying speaking more
to you, can't just come in andlay the law down.
I'm speaking to those moms andparents that are more course
correcting, like they're comingon the back end.
They haven't done this for thewhole time, like it's one thing
(28:02):
for our kids.
This is all they know.
So we've started from thispoint.
We ain't course correctingnothing.
This is the culture.
This is all they know to be trueis that mom and dad are in
charge and you need to, like,chill out, and this is what
we're going to do when we makethe decisions.
But for those parents withteenagers that they're kind of
doing that course correction,it's a different walk in a
(28:23):
different approach.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
So that's why I would say, parents, if you're trying
to do some type of coursecorrection with your kids Like
you, don't just come and say I'msorry, buddy, I'll do better.
Tell them where you're going todo better.
Set the bar, tell them wherethat line is.
And also, if you're going tolay down laws, you can't have
laws without love.
You don't put rules into play,into this, and you don't spend
(28:46):
time with your kids.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
And that's how kids receive love.
Most of them is time with theirparents.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
And it's the same thing with us as believers.
So this is how we raise ourgodly children.
We demonstrate with them it'sour same relationship that we
have with Christ.
Like for us, I love the Lord,and so, because I love the Lord,
I obey the Lord.
For the people that are havinga hard time following God's laws
, or the rules of what we do asbelievers, or the commandments
(29:13):
or the things that God has askedus to do, I think the people
that have the hard time arepeople that don't even love him
Because, for example, it's liketithing, it's like serving you.
I love you, babe, so takingcare of you is not a burden for
me.
If I didn't love you, if Ididn't care for you, I'd be
huffing and puffing every singletime.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Y'all shout out.
You said you'd even go to thedentist with me the other day.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
And hold your hand.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Yep, but I still didn't call the dentist.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
But what I'm saying is you see what I mean, Because
I love you.
You would go take care of me,the laws of our bond and our
vows and the covenant that wemade.
It's easy to hold and easy tocare, because you haven't even
decided in your heart likewhere's your love for him.
(29:57):
Because Jesus said if you loveme, then follow my commandments.
If you love me, obey mycommandments.
If you love me, if you love me,if you really do.
I think it's the same thing forparenting parenting, like if
you're going to love on yourkids and you're going to bring
in laws, put them together,you're going to put rules into
play, but you're going to spendtime with them, you're going to
love on them so that when it'stime for you to crack down on a
(30:20):
rule or on a law, you could putyour arm around your kid or love
to say you know I love you, youknow I care for you.
That's why I'm doing this.
You're going to thank me in 10years.
I know you don't understandthis, but we have to stay the
course.
I think too many Christianparents are inconsistent.
They think they can just drop anugget or just drop a thought
to their kids and be like allright, cool, I planted a seed.
(30:42):
Yeah, you planted a seedwithout watering it and seeing
it through the season.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
It's true, listen, when I was that season that I
was a children's director, Ilearned that children, the main
way that they like, grow and usea connection with a parent or
an adult, anyone that's olderthan them the main way that they
connect actually, I'm sorry itgoes with kids as well the main
(31:07):
way that they connect withpeople is through laughter and
like if you are not laughingwith your kids, you are missing
a major component of connectingwith them.
Laughter has to happen.
We have games that we play withJordan and Brooklyn all the time
never stop, I'm always makingthem laugh it actually drove me
crazy yesterday I got irritatedabout the game, but it's us
(31:31):
laughing all the time, and Ieven had to on our I know you
didn't on our phone call.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I had to check you.
I'm just like babe, like yourkids, still feel good to play
pranks on you, right?
Speaker 2 (31:41):
it was just not the moment it's, I know, but it's.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Sometimes it's so easy to just get so serious,
it's true, but that's his wayand their way of connecting with
you as a parent, making youlaugh, pulling a prank.
That's comfort way and theirway of connecting with you as a
parent, making you laugh,pulling a prank.
That's comfortability.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Some parents are too serious to like hey, I'm your
dad, you don't play games likethat, like I still remember
having wrestling fights with me,my brother and my mom, Like we
would wrestle I try to do thatwith Jordan sometimes and with
Brooklyn.
Like just having that, thatauthenticity of laughing with
your kids.
Like take all the business,take all the rules, get off your
(32:14):
phone, parents, and like get inthe floor.
You used to always say that too.
Like get down on the floor withthem.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Oh yeah, man.
It was a guy that told me thisone time.
He said you really want to bethe best parent.
He said don't just be in yourkid's life, but be in his world.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Be in their world If you're seeing your kid is
playing sports.
So my son, jordan, he's playingfootball right now and I asked
him the other day.
I said son, where's yourfootball?
He said I took it to the churchbecause we never play with it
at the house and so I made anote to myself of, like that's
on me.
So I said oh man, I was goingto go to the park this week and
(32:52):
play with you.
He said, oh, I didn't know, soI didn't say anything.
I said, okay, it's cool, buddy.
Well, that next time we go tochurch he brings his football
home.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I saw it in his backpack.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
So, guess what?
That my son is listening andI'm listening.
Now it's up to me to hold himthere.
My goal is to be in his world,not just in his life.
Being in his life is going tohis football game Cool, being in
his world.
Hey, buddy, saturday morningslet's go play catch.
Or let's hey, before yourfootball game let's warm up that
arm.
That's being in his world.
Being in his world is listeningto some of the stupid stuff
they'd be talking about that hiskids in the culture every
(33:28):
single week.
He's like Daddy, you know whatthis means.
I'm like what you guys make up,silly stuff, but I'm in his
world.
And then, guess what I do?
I start using it back towardshim.
He's like oh, all the kidsalways say bussin' and I was
like all right, cool, I'mbussin'.
He's like no, we don't use iton people.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
We use it on food.
I cringe so bad when Pierre'slike yo my shoes are busting.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yeah, and I'm just doing it just to really get on
his nerves and be his dad,because, at the end of the day,
I'm not his friend right now.
Maybe, when he's an adult,maybe we can be friends.
Right now, I'm his dad.
That's the biggest thing.
I'm the only one that can behis dad.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
It's true, I don't understand parents that can fill
that void.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I think too.
I think really for those thatare believers in Christ.
I want to encourage you guysthat are listening to this.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Can you raise your voice a little bit?
Speaker 1 (34:22):
This is my ending voice.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Is that what it is?
This is me closing out theconversation.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
I'm landing the plane .
I'm looking at the time too,because I got a lunch
appointment.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
You.
I'm looking at the time too,because I got a lunch
appointment.
You do, I got a straight uplunch appointment.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Okay, go ahead, land the plane.
For those of you that areparents that are following
Christ, stop getting frustratedwith your kids because they're
not praying or they're notreading their Bibles or they're
not following Christ.
Start demonstrating to them howyou want them to live.
It's good Period.
You want them to value God.
You value God.
(34:51):
You want them to value God.
You value God.
You want them to go to church.
Stop making church an option.
The moment your kids stopasking are we going to church
this Saturday?
That's a sign that you're doinggood, you're doing well.
And how do you keep this up?
You don't just plant a seedwith the kids and say, hey, we
want to start going to church.
No, you got to plant it.
Dig it deep, plant it, put soil, put water, let the sun time
(35:16):
light stay consistent, seek itthrough the season.
For those of you that areparents and you got kids and
they're ready, they're alreadyfell off, like again, we don't
have kids, that that's done that.
So all I can say is pray forthem and then pray that God
gives you strength and wisdomand how to win them back.
Stop nagging your kids.
Paul talks about this inEphesians, where he says fathers
(35:38):
, like Ephesians 6,.
Do not provoke your children toanger, but bring them up in the
discipline and instruction ofthe Lord.
So, parents, stop nagging yourkids and start loving them.
Like I know, there's some stuffthat our kids do that sometimes,
boy, the first people that canmake me talk in the morning is
(35:58):
these kids.
That's true.
I could have two hours ofsilence.
The moment the kids come aroundI was like guys, stop it, I
need you.
Just like man, like boy, I feellike that Kanye West song.
I'm trying to talk to my dadand I start spazzing on me.
He starts spazzing on me.
He said that ain't Christ.
Like I said, close on Sunday,right so, but that's what I
(36:21):
think about sometimes.
Like, for me, my job is to loveon my son and to take care of
him, but to do for him how Godis doing for me.
So how do you get closer toyour kids?
How do you get closer?
You get closer to God.
God's going to show you how toparent, why?
Because he parents us, hedisciplines us, he has
(36:41):
relationships with us.
And as you do that, you takethat and you project it and you
mirror it to your kids and Iguarantee you guys will see
fruit man.
That's all I got to say aboutthis, listen.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
God designed the family before he designed the
church.
He made the model of family.
He created this model of afamily because it was so
important to him.
It was the first institutionthat he designed, and so we have
to know how much of a spacethat takes up in God's heart,
because that was the first thingthat he designed.
(37:07):
And so we have to cultivate it,we have to put in time and
effort and attention to it andto put all of our efforts and to
be intentional about thesethings.
We're even still havingconversations every day about
hey, I think we should actuallyplay more games with the kids.
Let's be more intentional aboutour time.
We don't have a lot of time athome, but when we are in home,
(37:29):
let's be more intentional.
We have Sunday nights afterchurch, on Sunday nights after
lunch with everybody.
It's just us time.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
It is intentional.
We sit at the table for mealsweekly.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Yeah.
So just being intentional withyour kids and your family and
knowing the value, guys, ofbeing at church every week.
I know it is so easy.
The world pulls at us and itbooks us for everything on
Saturday and Sunday, saturdayand Sunday.
Saturday and Sunday the worldthinks that's the only day they
can book us, because every otherday you're at work, but that's
(38:01):
the only day, like if that's theonly day, that a church is
going on around you.
You have to book your day tosay, like we prioritize that
being in the house of God withother believers, with brothers
and sisters in Christ, knowingthat it takes a village to raise
these children and knowing thevalue of other people pouring
into your kids and you beingpoured into.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
That's it right there .
If you don't like your kids'friends, get them new
environments, take them tochurch.
Our son came home and said myfriends at school is asking us
what we're doing for Halloweenand I told them that my parents
don't celebrate Halloween.
And his kids, his friends andhis classmates said why do you
not celebrate Halloween?
And his response was because myparents are holy.
(38:43):
And a long time ago I'd be likeoh no, bro, man, we're cool.
No, the fact that my son saidto us that my parents are holy
Wow.
And so now let me break it downto him and help him understand
why that is Right.
But now he knows we do notcelebrate Halloween.
Like what's the purpose of ustrying to live for the culture
(39:03):
for us to lose our kids I loveDoesn't make sense.
Like I don't care what thisworld has to offer.
I don't care if he's gettingpicked on at school.
I want him to stand his groundbecause it's going to be those
same friends 10 years from now.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
That's going to be asking him to pray for them,
guaranteed, yeah.
So we hope this encouragedy'all.
Listen, we don't have all theanswers.
We say this in almost everyepisode because, it's true, we
don't know everything.
We are still a young family,with a 10 year old and a four
year old, and we are stillgrowing.
But what we are here to do isto help you grow a deeper
(39:38):
relationship with God, othersand yourselves, and that
includes your familyrelationships, and so all we
want to do is start theconversation.
It's always part of our, ourwhole point of this, this
podcast Hold on, I'm gonna tripup on my words the whole point
of this podcast is to startconversations, and so we hope
that this conversation hasreally opened your eyes or
encouraged you in something thatyou're walking through, and
(39:59):
that you can go and be moreintentional with your family.
So we love y'all.
Let's keep digging.
All right, what's up everybody.
Welcome to let's Dig thepodcast.
You guys know why we are here.
We are here to help you grow adeeper relationship with God,
others and yourself.
And, speaking of thesecategories, one relationship
that I've been really enjoyingright now is our relationship,
my relationship with Jordan.
He's our 10-year-old son.
For those of you guys who don'tknow that Matter of fact, I'm
(00:20):
just going to jump into a story.
This morning this happened.
I'm just going to jump into astory this morning.
This happened Just this morning.
I am so proud.
Proud dad, like I got a littleemotional, I went for my eye
right now.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I went for my eye.
Hold on y'all, Stop the train.
Pierre said he was emotionaland he touched his eye because
tears were about to fall.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
No, I touched my eye right now because something went
in my eye.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yes, dust, right in my eye, yes, dust right.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Sure it's called emotions, that's what went in
your eye no.
So you know how people bejoking.
They're like something's in myeye, no, something literally in
my eye right now.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah actually that's happened to me one time we were
recording.
It was the worst.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I had to just push through so go, yeah, so
something's actually in my eyes,not like, yeah, no, I'm not
crying, you're crying, no,literally something's in my eye.
But but this morning, man, itmade me so, just proud, so happy
.
So we left the house, all fourof us in the car, and we drop
off Brooklyn.
She's our four-year-old guys.
If you guys don't know Brooklyn, she's four.
(01:15):
And for those of you that havebeen along with us for the last
couple years, brooklyn, herpersonality has just really been
taken off.
Her personality is just crazy,just really been taken off.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
She's just.
Her personality is just crazy.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
She is.
She's still a raccoon and a catsometimes.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Because you ever try to pet a raccoon right.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
That's her sometimes.
I tried to kiss her yesterdayand I got the raccoon Straight
up raccoon, like raccoon frombuddy to elf, do you?
Need a hug.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, yeah, so we drop her off right and while
we're sitting in the car me andjordan in the car he's in the
back seat and he says oh man,dang it that chad says that all
the time?
Yeah, and I'm like yeah, he'slike.
Dad, when you pick me up today,can you grab my bible for me,
(02:00):
my bible, and like my pencilholder.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So cute for church tonight.
For church tonight.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
And to hear how passionate he was about that.
And today he has school, heloves school, he has flag
football, he's in band, he'sdoing all these things that he's
really enjoying.
And to hear how upset he wasthat he forgot his Bible really
like blessed me.
It made me happy, really likeblessed me.
(02:27):
It made me happy.
It brought peace to my heartthat our 10 year old son values
his Bible.
So today I want to have aconversation about what does it
look like to raise godlychildren.
What does it look like to bringin people into this world, to
influence kids in this worldthat will impact the culture and
to live, you know, aChrist-centered life.
(02:48):
You know, and also this may noteven just be for those who are
parents that's listening to.
Maybe you desire to be a parentone day, or maybe you just have
people in your circle that areparents, or maybe you want to go
back and tell your parents likeyo, here's what you should have
done right, or ask betterquestions Right.
But I really want to talk aboutthat man, because we live in a
(03:09):
wild world right now.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I say wild, all the West side, westernized
civilization.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
It's wild just because of freedom of speech.
It just got crazy.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Like people, just good.
What is good is evil.
What is evil is good, like it'sliterally flip-flopped in this
culture.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yo, someone showed me this, this funny diagram.
It wasn't funny, it was kind ofcrazy.
It was showing how um shootingsare up and all these crazy
things that are happening inAmerica.
It's up, up, up, up up.
But here's what's down Callingpeople gay, calling people
retarded, all that stuff is down.
The guy was joking, he wasbasically.
(03:55):
He was saying, basically, if wecan go back to where we can,
just say whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
say whatever, if those words weren't taboo then
the shootings would go down.
That is wildly inappropriate.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
It is very, but let's dig, oh my word, let's dig
Quick.
Let's dig.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
But yeah, man, it made me happy today, that is
really cool and I know that weare in an interesting season
with him.
Even today we talked about likesome school things about with
him and I told him I said,Jordan, like you said, yeah,
think about it, buddy.
Think about what your, whatyour thoughts are and what your
(04:32):
ideas are.
And I said, yeah, Jordan, youknow what.
Like you're not going to makethe decision.
I said, but you are getting tothe age where you get to have an
opinion and I was like we'llmake the best decision for you.
And you even jumped in and saidyou have to trust that we'll
make the best decision for you,but we do want to hear what
would you like to do or what isyour opinion?
(04:52):
And so we're at a veryinteresting phase with him.
Listen, y'all, if you don'tknow, and you're not raising
kids right now, 10 year oldsthink they are grown to the max.
Like when we were 10, I stilljust wanted a happy meal, like
some fake makeup, like it wasvery innocent at 10.
And now how the world is, it'scompletely different,
interesting, like um.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
For us millennials and I I guess even gen xers and
and baby boomers, like you guys,remember growing up life was a
little bit simpler and you know,you know speaking of trust.
So you're talking about trustlike we.
I feel like growing up wetrusted our parents more.
I feel like we trusted ourparents more, like they would
make decisions, they would makecalls and we just didn't
(05:35):
question it because we justtrusted them.
And it's interesting times now,like nowadays, like kids are
equal to their parents, ornowadays it's like kids run the
show, it's all about the kidsschedule, it's everything that.
Well, we got to check withlittle timmy's little.
You know, I say I listen alittle to you, like my brother's
name is tim.
Literally we call him timmyright, but we got to check with
little billy.
(05:55):
I I know a few billies too.
Um, I'm just gonna go throughskeeter.
I don't know no skeeters wedon't use Skeeters.
It'd be like Skeeter.
Well, he's a white kid, allright.
Devante Brandon, that could bewhite or black.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
That could go either way, that's true.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Is it Brandon or Brandon?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I know a few Brandons too.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Okay, wait, actually, if he's black, he's Brandon, if
he's white, he's Brendan.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Brendan, that is a hundred percent true.
Oh, my word.
Actually, there's someone thatI their name is similar to that
and you were like, no, that'snot his name, cause this guy's
white, and you keep calling hima black name, and I was like I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
It's not Brandon, it's Brendan, all right.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Anyways, it is a very true statement, though Like
number one statement, thoughLike number one.
I think our generation is inthis phase where we're learning
that our parents were notperfect.
When you grow up, you only seeyour parents as perfect.
You don't see any of theirflaws.
But once you become an adult,you move out of their house, you
start living life and havingyour own experiences and your
(06:59):
own children.
You start to see flaws in yourparents, which is a really hard
time in life, but you have toaccept it.
You have to learn to love yourparents as they are, including
those flaws, right.
But I think what happens insociety is that when a
generation has a pendulum, oneway which for our generation,
(07:22):
our parents did not give us avoice, did not hear us, did not
let us talk back, we did nothave value or opinions.
in that sense, we have value,but, like you hear what I'm
saying.
When we became a parents, weswung the pendulum the other way
and now it's all you know.
What are your feelings?
Do you have big feelings?
(07:43):
Do you not have words for yourfeelings?
What do you think?
Everything had swung thependulum completely the opposite
way, where we gave our kids allthis power to talk and all this
power to vocalize theiremotions.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
You remember that movie Rocky.
You probably didn't watch Rocky1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yes, I don't remember which one I've seen.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
This was the one where I think was Rocky it was
maybe four or five, like hestopped wrestling or wrestling.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Rocky the wrestler.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
He stopped boxing.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I saw the Russian one and the black guy one.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
So after OK, the black guy, one, ok, that's
Apollo.
Have show some respect.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
I don't know.
Ok, apollo, because Creedno-transcript.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
End of the movie.
Like you know, rocky punchesthe guy, he punches him and he's
like sue me for what?
Right?
Because rock is broke.
But you know what?
That's the generation we'reliving in right now.
These kids are like whoop meand I'll sue you bomb we went
through that whole story forthat.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
It is true, though, that our kids would.
But it's true, like, even withdiscipline.
Like we got whooped.
We got whooped with a belt, wegot whooped with a spatula, a
twig like yeah whatever ourparents could find.
And now, in this generation, wehave chosen to not take that
route yeah but the pendulum hasswung so far that now we may not
discipline at all I love thisverse right so?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
So Proverbs 29, verse 17,.
It says discipline yourchildren and they will give you
peace, they will bring you thedelights you desire.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
That's really good.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
So when you go to spank your kids or black people
say beat your kids right, no, wedon't beat our kids right.
But when you go to disciplineyour kids because spanking them
is not always disciplined- Right.
Right, you know there's been alot of parents, I know for us
growing up man like we.
You know we got spanked becauseour dad was just mad.
That wasn't discipline, he justpissed off.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
He just mad.
And that was actually.
And then now I'm mad.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
That's true, and that was actually the turn for us
with like whooping our kids, wasthat I realized I didn't like
how mad I got when I did it?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
For you it wasn't a thing.
You were very like, very, um,how would you describe like,
very, even like very thought out, very thought out, very
calculated, very intentional.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I'm going to spank them today.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yes, I would lose my patience and my frustration.
I didn't like that.
So then we started leaning intomore of consequences, and I
heard Craig Rochelle say thatconsequences are great teachers,
great teachers, but if we keepthose consequences from our
children, they will never learnwhat happens when, as a result
(10:39):
of what their choices are.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
If we keep that.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
If we keep consequences from our kids,
they'll never understand thatevery decision they make has a
consequence, good or bad.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, I think too, like some parents don't even
realize that they're just livingtheir lives day by day with
their kids and just taking itday by day, not even praying
about it, not even thinkingabout it, not even processing,
and you're not even realizingthat every single day is a
memory that you are making foryour kid yeah well, we don't
realize, like, how you react,how you respond, how you
(11:11):
discipline, how you train them.
It's a memory.
All of us can go back in lifeand say I remember when my dad,
someone said I remember therewas one time my mom and
sometimes our parents will say Idon't even remember that is
very, but they created memoriesin our lives and I feel like for
us as Christians, and not justChristians I'm not talking about
just like Americanized,westernized, watered, cultured
(11:34):
Christians.
My grandparents were Christians.
If you go to church on Christmas, easter, you know a few of the
other days some random festival,if you go for some baby
dedication or you're going toget baptized or something like
that, you know, a few other days, some random festival, if you
go for some baby dedication oryou're going to get baptized or
something like that, that'sculture, christianity that's
just Americanized, watered down,like we just say it.
(11:55):
Oh, I'm a Christian.
Oh, really, have you given yourlife to Christ?
Well, my mom and her grandmaback?
You're not a Christian I'mtalking about.
Christ is at the center, yeah,and we are a family that don't
just believe in Jesus Right, wefollow Jesus.
Remember I was talking aboutthat today?
Yeah, like in the car that Ithink there's a big difference
(12:16):
of being a believer of Christand a follower of Christ.
It's true, here in America,almost everybody, just everyone
knows God and they believe inthe existence of Jesus.
True, most people believe heexists.
Oh, yeah, I believe he exists.
Yeah, but believing in him isdifferent from following him.
And for us as a Christ centeredfamily.
(12:39):
We sat down and hadconversations of like yo, church
is not an option.
Right, sat down and hadconversations of like yo, church
is not an option.
Church is not.
You know, like I heard someonesaying like why, in the American
household that so-called wecall ourselves Christians, that,
oh, you're going to school,you're going to practice, you're
(12:59):
not missing out on thattraining, you're going to this
camp, the kids say are we goingto church?
I don't know, maybe let's see.
So true, why is church the onlything that so many families
look for all kind of excuses tomiss?
And here's the thing.
Like, if you guys are parents,no matter whatever the heck you
(13:20):
say to your kids, listen, theyjust gonna watch what you do
they don't become what you say.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
They become what they see, whatever they're showing
them you demonstrate.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
So I say this as a leader in all my leadership um
training I I always say don't befrustrated with what you have
demonstrated, hello somebody soif you're mad because when you
ate, cause your kids orteenagers or your kids don't
want it, like, for example, likemy, my, like, for example,
jordan, there's some stuff, somefoods he just will not touch,
(13:51):
some vegetables he will nottouch.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I'm not mad at him, cause you don't touch him either
.
I don't touch him either Me andBrooklyn will be putting down
some broccoli but you know whatI'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I can't be frustrated with what I've demonstrated,
yeah, and with what I'vedemonstrated, yeah, sure, and
like parents right, you guys are.
You know, if you're in a seasonwhere you're really frustrated
with your kids, you really gotto ask yourself okay, who do
they get this from?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I heard someone say the other day that the most
humbling part of parenthood iswatching your children struggle
with the things that you neverovercame.
And I had to swallow that onehard because I see that a lot in
one of our kids.
They are very similar to me andI watch them and I try to like
help them.
But even sometimes I look atyou and I'm like I didn't fix
(14:34):
this part about me.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
I don't know how to fix it.
There's times you'll, jordan,be acting up.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Oh, you're just going to tell him.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And I'll, I'll look at, yeah we, we digging right
now.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
We let them, we're letting them into our personal
conversation.
Jordan is wired like his mama.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Jordan will do some stuff and I'm like Dan Lee, this
is straight you, I need you tocome in and jump in and help
this guy out.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
But I look at him and I'm like I didn't figure out
the solution so I can't help himbecause I still have a pile of
clothes in my room.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
That's wild, that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
So I'm like I don't have this solution.
Yes, he got it from me, but Ididn't master it.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
So now I need you to help me teach him how to master
it.
Yeah, I think, too, a lot ofpeople struggle with raising
their kids because they haven'treally established their own
values, meaning you can'tenforce something that you don't
even know.
So, for example, like we talkabout OK, praying Right.
Is praying something that we doonce a day?
(15:30):
Is praying something that we dojust when we sit down to eat?
Is praying something that we dowhen we go to church?
Or have we sat down and saywhat does prayer mean to us?
What does prayer look like tous?
And I think some parents areafraid to even tap or tap into
some topics because they'venever really sat down and really
drew the hard lines, becausethey'd have to hold themselves
(15:50):
accountable to it.
That is true, Like you know whatI mean, because you can say
whatever you want to say aboutGod.
You can say whatever you wantto say about Jesus.
You can say whatever you wantto say about prayer, but if you
don't demonstrate it to yourkids it don't matter what you
say to them, like with me goingto the gym.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
I didn't love the gym for 10 solid years, but now
that Jordan's training and hewants to be an athlete, he has a
little workout plan that hedoes at home.
But guess what?
He talks himself out of it alot and I'm like, bro, you're
going to talk yourself out of itevery day.
It's either you decide to do itor you don't.
Because that is what I havedemonstrated is that mommy goes
to the gym every day.
(16:27):
Do I want to go?
No, homie, I don't.
But I've known that that iswhat makes the difference of me
being healthy.
And then he'll pull it back atme.
He'll be like mom, isn't thiswhat you go to the gym for?
So you can be strong.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Like bruh.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah, God says.
He said these commandments thatI give you today are to be on
your hearts and press them onyour children and press them,
(16:59):
Talk about them when you sit athome and when you walk along the
road, when you lie down andwhen you get up.
Like for us parents, like weneed to, like we're encouraged
to teach our, our kids, likeGod's commandments and make them
a really big central part ofour daily lives.
It's important for us.
There's some stuff that's justnon-negotiable and I know it's
(17:22):
unlike.
I say this all the time.
To Jordan I said you're goingto thank me for this in 20 years
.
How often do I say that A lot.
I'll make decisions and I knowit's hard, but the Bible says
train up a kid in a way thatthey'll never depart from.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I got the scripture right here, just for those of
you that don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
This is.
Proverbs 22 says train up achild in a way he should go.
Even when he is old, he willnot depart from it.
I think so many parentsunderestimate that.
I think all parents know thatbut don't even realize that
training up a kid, it's ineverything you do and everything
that you say.
When he's an old man he won'tdepart from it.
What does that mean?
(17:55):
When he's an old man, he'sgoing to still remember his
formative years.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
And listen.
I'll tell you, I've hadconversations with moms that are
older than me, so theirchildren are older than you know
our kids and I've hadconversations with moms that
planted those seeds and I havehad conversations with those
moms that did it, and it is awhole different factor of peace
that comes with the mom who said, no, I took them to church when
(18:19):
they were a kid.
They have asked Jesus to comeinto their life.
They may not live it right nowin their teenage years, or there
may be like wandering and goingout into different places and
they're in the mom's concerned.
But the mom that knows that, no, I raised my child in the house
of God and for me, in my house,we will serve the Lord.
Holding that promise fromProverbs 22 is completely
(18:41):
different to a mom who's like Ijust got saved two years ago.
I didn't know, I didn't.
And I have to encourage thatmom in a completely different
way of like you didn't know.
So you're walking this out withgrace.
So you're walking this out withgrace.
So you have to be really led bythe Holy Spirit of what you say
and what you don't push andthat you are, you know like it's
a completely different aspect.
(19:01):
So when you are a parent and youhave children and you know the
word of God and you know thetruth to be, that if I raise
them up in the way of the Lordnow, when they were old, they
will not depart.
So I don't care what theteenage years look like, I
believe that they won't have togo through that, but if they do,
I have a promise to stand on tosay that my child will come
(19:22):
back.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Yeah, yeah, and you know what?
I'll be honest.
Um, I am proud to say that wehad this revelation while our
kids were young, still young,and being born.
We knew that.
You know my heart goes out forthose that, those parents that
have teenage kids that are stillstruggling or you're afraid to
(19:44):
have these topics, like I.
Had the conversation with our 10year old son about sex and
about where babies come from.
We've talked about it.
I taught him about sex andabout where babies come from.
We've talked about it.
I taught him about sex.
I taught him about porn.
I taught him about masturbation.
I talked to him abouteverything.
What does it look like to havebabies outside of marriage, even
(20:05):
the law of first mention?
So, before I even mention allthese things, I asked him if
he's heard any of those wordsbefore, because I needed to know
if I needed to undo anything.
And I think so many parents areafraid to have a conversation,
or they just pray that the graceof God would just cover them,
or you just think your kid isinnocent, man, your kid ain't
innocent.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
All right.
The ages get younger andyounger, y'all.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
You weren't innocent.
Put yourself back in theirshoes Like where were you and
you know what.
At the end of the day, theBible also just say like a
parent who doesn't disciplinetheir kid hates them.
Right, you love, you love them.
That's why we discipline them.
That's why we do that.
I love my kids so much and Isee it like this man.
Jesus says the kingdom ofheaven is like the kingdom of
(20:49):
heaven.
It's like a master who givestalents to the servants.
One servant, he gave them five.
One servant he gave them three.
Other one he gave them oneright, or two or one, I don't
remember the actual one, three,five yeah.
And I think of it as I love thatparable, because that story can
mean so many different things.
For some it could meanresources, it could mean money,
others it could mean propertyright.
(21:11):
Others it could mean aninheritance.
For some it could mean yourchildren.
You may think, man, I don'thave.
I know some mothers likefinancially they're not doing
well, but their kids are good,healthy, god-fearing Christ at
the center of their lives.
Children you tell me who'sdoing better the mom who got all
the money but the kids are wild, or the mother who ain't got no
(21:34):
money but their kids are lockedinto Christ.
And so I think that thatparable, when Jesus talking like
the talents, like five I meanmy mom had five of us she sure
did and I stood and we stoodright there next to her on her
deathbed and she blessed us all.
We released her, I held herhand, I kissed her, I said mom,
(21:56):
you did good, we are fine, welove the Lord, we're preaching
the gospel.
And your grandchildren look atthem right here they fear God.
Yeah, straight up, fear God.
And so I think, like for thoseparents that that have teenagers
that are wayward right, Ihaven't used that word before
Wayward, wayward, you know thatare gone.
I don't know what to tell you.
(22:17):
I'm not going to sit here andsay like here's what we did with
our teenagers, we I don't know,so I'm not going to sit here
and be like, well, here's whatwe did, but here's what I can do
is encourage you.
It's first of all, pray foryourself.
Pray that God gives you wisdomon how to correct them, Because
there can still be coursecorrections.
But training is not going tohappen overnight.
(22:39):
You don't go to the gym andjust train one day and be like
all right, good, Six pack ishere, it's a course, it's a
season.
So parents like you can't tellyour kids we're going to start
going to church and after two,three Sundays you drop off, Like
it's literally.
You make a commitment foryourself and that's why I said I
think some parents are afraidto set the bar because they
can't keep it.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
And here's one thing that I will say our generation
has gotten right, and that isthat we have learned to be
humble in front of our kids,whether it's an apology or an
acceptance of like man, I messedthat up.
Our generation before us, ourparents, never said you know,
sorry, I did that wrong, or Ishould have done better, or or
(23:19):
very rarely I should say.
There was an occasions, butlike very rarely did that
generation do that.
But with our generation, wehave made it almost normal to
tell our kids, like hey, Ididn't deal with that the right
way and I'm sorry.
And so, talking to parents thathave not had their children in
church this whole time, like asyou're encouraging those parents
(23:39):
of saying, like your teenagersmay be out there and you didn't
raise them up in church for 20years or 15 years, but now
you're trying to course correct,I would say, to encourage that
parent to say, like, come tothem humbly and say, hey, I
didn't know this stuff 10 yearsago when you were little.
I'm just learning it now.
So here's what I want you tosee, here's what I want you to
(24:01):
know.
Like you know, we just had ourlast episode about Halloween and
I was talking to a mother inthe same situation and it was
about Halloween and they used tocelebrate Halloween for years,
so her kids are so used to it.
Now she wants nothing to do withit, but she doesn't know how to
walk this out with her kidsbecause she doesn't want to
think like make her kids thinkall of a sudden that like, oh,
(24:24):
mom got saved, so now we can'thave any fun.
And I was like I would justshow them and let them come to
the conclusion themselves, showthem what is right and the truth
that you have learned, and thenlet the Holy spirit reveal it
to them.
And I was like, cause she'sright, you can't just go in and
lay the law down.
And you'd be like who are you?
Where'd you come from?
But it was the two things yousaid of, like pray for your
(24:45):
children, pray for the Holyspirit to lead you.
And then I think is to behumble and to say like, hey,
this is where I've messed up,but this is what I'm trying to
get right.
Kids these days will respectthat so much.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah, two things.
So you said one thing aboutapproaching your kids humbly.
I think there is a line, though, because I think some parents
demonstrate too much weakness totheir kids of like, interesting
, I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm sorry, bubba.
I'm sorry, I said Bubba.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
You just said that for the white people.
Wait, what did I say at thefootball game the other day?
I said oh, I said it's okay,good job, buddy.
And then I looked at you and Isaid I don't know that child and
I called him buddy that's funnyum it was a very white.
I don't talk to other people'skids.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I don't talk to other kids, other people, kids.
These kids be showing up in itone kid, but like whatever,
we're not gonna share thesestories right now.
So I will say, though I dothink that some parents show all
their cards to their kids likeof like I don't have nothing, I
don't know what I'm doing, I'msorry.
I think there just needs to bea line of like if you're going
(26:01):
to go to your kids and apologizeabout something but tell them
where you're going to do betterand stand your ground and be
firm in it.
Do some freaking research, lookinto like, get some books,
listen to some podcasts, likelet's dig the podcast stuff,
like that Right.
Yeah, Honestly before you go toyour kids.
It's like I'm sorry, buddy, Idon't know what I'm doing.
I'm sorry, will you forgive me,son, I'll try to do better.
Please, like, please, like.
(26:22):
A parent shouldn't be playingand begging their kids like that
no, you're still the parent,you're still in control.
I think what happens is a lot ofthese parents are just too
hands off.
They let the culture come atthem and the parents now on the
back end tries to become theirfriend with no laws.
And then the second thing thatyou said I do believe in laws
and rules Right In our household, like in our household, we're
(26:46):
the boss.
Our kids are not equal to us.
Yes, they do not get a vote.
They do not get a.
Say so I do agree, there aretimes we may allow them to say
something Right, right, evenwhen we go through the
drive-thru, we go throughChick-fil-A and all the kids be
ready to put in the order, Isaid zip, zip, zip, zip, zip,
zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip
it Nothing.
Right, and so we know.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Why do you say that so weird?
You know, get some chickennuggets chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
If you guys are ever in a car with me, we go through,
drive throughs, it's.
It's always interesting becauseI never know what name I'm
going to give you know that onetime we never know what name
you're going to get.
We show up to a drive throughlike Chick-fil-A or In-N-Out,
and I was like, they're like,can I get a name forthru?
It was like chick-fil-a or inand out and I was like, uh,
they're like can I get a namefor an order?
I was like pablo.
They're like angel.
I was like, yes, angel that'sright, it was last week you were
(27:40):
angel, I.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
It's wild, but you're right.
I think you're right.
There is a balance to thosethings.
I do think, though, like um,what I was saying speaking more
to you, can't just come in andlay the law down.
I'm speaking to those moms andparents that are more course
correcting, like they're comingon the back end.
They haven't done this for thewhole time, like it's one thing
(28:02):
for our kids.
This is all they know.
So we've started from thispoint.
We ain't course correctingnothing.
This is the culture.
This is all they know to be trueis that mom and dad are in
charge and you need to, like,chill out, and this is what
we're going to do when we makethe decisions.
But for those parents withteenagers that they're kind of
doing that course correction,it's a different walk in a
(28:23):
different approach.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
So that's why I would say, parents, if you're trying
to do some type of coursecorrection with your kids Like
you, don't just come and say I'msorry, buddy, I'll do better.
Tell them where you're going todo better.
Set the bar, tell them wherethat line is.
And also, if you're going tolay down laws, you can't have
laws without love.
You don't put rules into play,into this, and you don't spend
(28:46):
time with your kids.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
And that's how kids receive love.
Most of them is time with theirparents.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
And it's the same thing with us as believers.
So this is how we raise ourgodly children.
We demonstrate with them it'sour same relationship that we
have with Christ.
Like for us, I love the Lord,and so, because I love the Lord,
I obey the Lord.
For the people that are havinga hard time following God's laws
, or the rules of what we do asbelievers, or the commandments
(29:13):
or the things that God has askedus to do, I think the people
that have the hard time arepeople that don't even love him
Because, for example, it's liketithing, it's like serving you.
I love you, babe, so takingcare of you is not a burden for
me.
If I didn't love you, if Ididn't care for you, I'd be
huffing and puffing every singletime.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Y'all shout out.
You said you'd even go to thedentist with me the other day.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
And hold your hand.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Yep, but I still didn't call the dentist.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
But what I'm saying is you see what I mean, Because
I love you.
You would go take care of me,the laws of our bond and our
vows and the covenant that wemade.
It's easy to hold and easy tocare, because you haven't even
decided in your heart likewhere's your love for him.
(29:57):
Because Jesus said if you loveme, then follow my commandments.
If you love me, obey mycommandments.
If you love me, if you love me,if you really do.
I think it's the same thing forparenting parenting, like if
you're going to love on yourkids and you're going to bring
in laws, put them together,you're going to put rules into
play, but you're going to spendtime with them, you're going to
love on them so that when it'stime for you to crack down on a
(30:20):
rule or on a law, you could putyour arm around your kid or love
to say you know I love you, youknow I care for you.
That's why I'm doing this.
You're going to thank me in 10years.
I know you don't understandthis, but we have to stay the
course.
I think too many Christianparents are inconsistent.
They think they can just drop anugget or just drop a thought
to their kids and be like allright, cool, I planted a seed.
(30:42):
Yeah, you planted a seedwithout watering it and seeing
it through the season.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
It's true, listen, when I was that season that I
was a children's director, Ilearned that children, the main
way that they like, grow and usea connection with a parent or
an adult, anyone that's olderthan them the main way that they
connect actually, I'm sorry itgoes with kids as well the main
(31:07):
way that they connect withpeople is through laughter and
like if you are not laughingwith your kids, you are missing
a major component of connectingwith them.
Laughter has to happen.
We have games that we play withJordan and Brooklyn all the time
never stop, I'm always makingthem laugh it actually drove me
crazy yesterday I got irritatedabout the game, but it's us
(31:31):
laughing all the time, and Ieven had to on our I know you
didn't on our phone call.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I had to check you.
I'm just like babe, like yourkids, still feel good to play
pranks on you, right?
Speaker 2 (31:41):
it was just not the moment it's, I know, but it's.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Sometimes it's so easy to just get so serious,
it's true, but that's his wayand their way of connecting with
you as a parent, making youlaugh, pulling a prank.
That's comfort way and theirway of connecting with you as a
parent, making you laugh,pulling a prank.
That's comfortability.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Some parents are too serious to like hey, I'm your
dad, you don't play games likethat, like I still remember
having wrestling fights with me,my brother and my mom, Like we
would wrestle I try to do thatwith Jordan sometimes and with
Brooklyn.
Like just having that, thatauthenticity of laughing with
your kids.
Like take all the business,take all the rules, get off your
(32:14):
phone, parents, and like get inthe floor.
You used to always say that too.
Like get down on the floor withthem.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Oh yeah, man.
It was a guy that told me thisone time.
He said you really want to bethe best parent.
He said don't just be in yourkid's life, but be in his world.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Be in their world If you're seeing your kid is
playing sports.
So my son, jordan, he's playingfootball right now and I asked
him the other day.
I said son, where's yourfootball?
He said I took it to the churchbecause we never play with it
at the house and so I made anote to myself of, like that's
on me.
So I said oh man, I was goingto go to the park this week and
(32:52):
play with you.
He said, oh, I didn't know, soI didn't say anything.
I said, okay, it's cool, buddy.
Well, that next time we go tochurch he brings his football
home.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I saw it in his backpack.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
So, guess what?
That my son is listening andI'm listening.
Now it's up to me to hold himthere.
My goal is to be in his world,not just in his life.
Being in his life is going tohis football game Cool, being in
his world.
Hey, buddy, saturday morningslet's go play catch.
Or let's hey, before yourfootball game let's warm up that
arm.
That's being in his world.
Being in his world is listeningto some of the stupid stuff
they'd be talking about that hiskids in the culture every
(33:28):
single week.
He's like Daddy, you know whatthis means.
I'm like what you guys make up,silly stuff, but I'm in his
world.
And then, guess what I do?
I start using it back towardshim.
He's like oh, all the kidsalways say bussin' and I was
like all right, cool, I'mbussin'.
He's like no, we don't use iton people.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
We use it on food.
I cringe so bad when Pierre'slike yo my shoes are busting.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yeah, and I'm just doing it just to really get on
his nerves and be his dad,because, at the end of the day,
I'm not his friend right now.
Maybe, when he's an adult,maybe we can be friends.
Right now, I'm his dad.
That's the biggest thing.
I'm the only one that can behis dad.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
It's true, I don't understand parents that can fill
that void.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I think too.
I think really for those thatare believers in Christ.
I want to encourage you guysthat are listening to this.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Can you raise your voice a little bit?
Speaker 1 (34:22):
This is my ending voice.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Is that what it is?
This is me closing out theconversation.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
I'm landing the plane .
I'm looking at the time too,because I got a lunch
appointment.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
You.
I'm looking at the time too,because I got a lunch
appointment.
You do, I got a straight uplunch appointment.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Okay, go ahead, land the plane.
For those of you that areparents that are following
Christ, stop getting frustratedwith your kids because they're
not praying or they're notreading their Bibles or they're
not following Christ.
Start demonstrating to them howyou want them to live.
It's good Period.
You want them to value God.
You value God.
(34:51):
You want them to value God.
You value God.
You want them to go to church.
Stop making church an option.
The moment your kids stopasking are we going to church
this Saturday?
That's a sign that you're doinggood, you're doing well.
And how do you keep this up?
You don't just plant a seedwith the kids and say, hey, we
want to start going to church.
No, you got to plant it.
Dig it deep, plant it, put soil, put water, let the sun time
(35:16):
light stay consistent, seek itthrough the season.
For those of you that areparents and you got kids and
they're ready, they're alreadyfell off, like again, we don't
have kids, that that's done that.
So all I can say is pray forthem and then pray that God
gives you strength and wisdomand how to win them back.
Stop nagging your kids.
Paul talks about this inEphesians, where he says fathers
(35:38):
, like Ephesians 6,.
Do not provoke your children toanger, but bring them up in the
discipline and instruction ofthe Lord.
So, parents, stop nagging yourkids and start loving them.
Like I know, there's some stuffthat our kids do that sometimes,
boy, the first people that canmake me talk in the morning is
(35:58):
these kids.
That's true.
I could have two hours ofsilence.
The moment the kids come aroundI was like guys, stop it, I
need you.
Just like man, like boy, I feellike that Kanye West song.
I'm trying to talk to my dadand I start spazzing on me.
He starts spazzing on me.
He said that ain't Christ.
Like I said, close on Sunday,right so, but that's what I
(36:21):
think about sometimes.
Like, for me, my job is to loveon my son and to take care of
him, but to do for him how Godis doing for me.
So how do you get closer toyour kids?
How do you get closer?
You get closer to God.
God's going to show you how toparent, why?
Because he parents us, hedisciplines us, he has
(36:41):
relationships with us.
And as you do that, you takethat and you project it and you
mirror it to your kids and Iguarantee you guys will see
fruit man.
That's all I got to say aboutthis, listen.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
God designed the family before he designed the
church.
He made the model of family.
He created this model of afamily because it was so
important to him.
It was the first institutionthat he designed, and so we have
to know how much of a spacethat takes up in God's heart,
because that was the first thingthat he designed.
(37:07):
And so we have to cultivate it,we have to put in time and
effort and attention to it andto put all of our efforts and to
be intentional about thesethings.
We're even still havingconversations every day about
hey, I think we should actuallyplay more games with the kids.
Let's be more intentional aboutour time.
We don't have a lot of time athome, but when we are in home,
(37:29):
let's be more intentional.
We have Sunday nights afterchurch, on Sunday nights after
lunch with everybody.
It's just us time.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
It is intentional.
We sit at the table for mealsweekly.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Yeah.
So just being intentional withyour kids and your family and
knowing the value, guys, ofbeing at church every week.
I know it is so easy.
The world pulls at us and itbooks us for everything on
Saturday and Sunday, saturdayand Sunday.
Saturday and Sunday the worldthinks that's the only day they
can book us, because every otherday you're at work, but that's
(38:01):
the only day, like if that's theonly day, that a church is
going on around you.
You have to book your day tosay, like we prioritize that
being in the house of God withother believers, with brothers
and sisters in Christ, knowingthat it takes a village to raise
these children and knowing thevalue of other people pouring
into your kids and you beingpoured into.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
That's it right there .
If you don't like your kids'friends, get them new
environments, take them tochurch.
Our son came home and said myfriends at school is asking us
what we're doing for Halloweenand I told them that my parents
don't celebrate Halloween.
And his kids, his friends andhis classmates said why do you
not celebrate Halloween?
And his response was because myparents are holy.
(38:43):
And a long time ago I'd be likeoh no, bro, man, we're cool.
No, the fact that my son saidto us that my parents are holy
Wow.
And so now let me break it downto him and help him understand
why that is Right.
But now he knows we do notcelebrate Halloween.
Like what's the purpose of ustrying to live for the culture
(39:03):
for us to lose our kids I loveDoesn't make sense.
Like I don't care what thisworld has to offer.
I don't care if he's gettingpicked on at school.
I want him to stand his groundbecause it's going to be those
same friends 10 years from now.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
That's going to be asking him to pray for them,
guaranteed, yeah.
So we hope this encouragedy'all.
Listen, we don't have all theanswers.
We say this in almost everyepisode because, it's true, we
don't know everything.
We are still a young family,with a 10 year old and a four
year old, and we are stillgrowing.
But what we are here to do isto help you grow a deeper
(39:38):
relationship with God, othersand yourselves, and that
includes your familyrelationships, and so all we
want to do is start theconversation.
It's always part of our, ourwhole point of this, this
podcast Hold on, I'm gonna tripup on my words the whole point
of this podcast is to startconversations, and so we hope
that this conversation hasreally opened your eyes or
encouraged you in something thatyou're walking through, and
(39:59):
that you can go and be moreintentional with your family.
So we love y'all.
Let's keep digging.
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