March 18, 2025 • 28 mins
We identify and explore the three things women crave most in relationships: being wanted (not just needed), feeling heard, and experiencing true security. These fundamental desires form the foundation of what truly satisfies women in relationships beyond surface-level needs.
• Women want to be wanted and pursued, not just needed – there's a crucial difference
• Men who appear too needy or desperate often end up in the friend zone
• Self-sufficient men who actively choose their partners are typically more attractive
• Women need to feel truly heard and understood, not just listened to
• Communication breakdowns happen when partners don't feel their perspective is valued
• Security goes beyond finances to emotional safety and trustworthiness
• A woman needs to trust her partner with her emotions, vulnerabilities and future
• These three fundamental desires create the foundation for lasting relationships
• Cultural conditioning can make these areas challenging for men to develop
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yo, welcome back to let's Dig the Podcast.
Today, we're going to betalking about the three things
that women want the most.
These are three things thatthey crave, unlike men.
They ask for it.
I'm telling you, ladies, youwant to hear this, but, more
importantly, guys, you want tohear this.
Women listen through this too,because I think you need to send
it to your man, send it to yourhusband, send it to your
(00:21):
boyfriend.
We're going to jump into it,though.
It's three things that Ibelieve, after a couple of hours
of us talking about this, I'vetalked about this.
We went through a lot ofconversations, really processing
what do women really want,because I feel like I do need a
lot.
We do need a lot, but I want totalk about what I think that you
guys actually really want.
I think there's a difference.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
That's very true.
Yeah, I'm, I'm ready to getinto this conversation.
If you are new here, we're soglad that you jumped into this
chat.
Uh, we love letting you in onour conversations that we are
having at home.
That's why we're sitting in ourliving room on our couch.
We want you to be a part of theconversations that we are
having in our house.
But, more importantly, we arehere to help you grow a deeper
(01:00):
relationship with God, othersand yourself.
So hit that like button, dropus a comment.
We are always watching comments, writing back to you.
We love chatting with you guys.
You can even just tap thatlittle heart and send us some
thank yous, but don't forget tosubscribe so that you know every
video that drops.
We drop one every single weekand we're talking about things
(01:21):
that matter digging down to thegold.
That's all the way down at thebottom and helping your
relationships grow with God,others and yourself.
So if you're ready, let's dig.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I'm going to jump right into it.
The first one that I do believethat I think women really want
is you guys want to be wanted,meaning you guys want to be
pursued.
You guys want to feel like youwere chosen.
Because I think us men like wealways like to think of it as
there's a bunch of options outthere, because, think about it,
there's more women than men inthis world, that's true.
(01:53):
So for us it's, there's a bunchof options in this.
That is true In this world, andI think, when you feel like I
want you and some people mightsay, well, well, I think women
want to be needed, yes, but Ithink I feel comfortable arguing
that, because sometimes it canbe borderline toxic, like, hey,
I need you to take care of thehouse, I need you to take care
(02:13):
of the car, I need you to dothis, I need you to do that, but
knowing that I don't need youfor anything, but I choose you.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I want you Like.
There's events that I've goneto before where I actually
didn't need you there.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
But I wanted you there.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
That's true, because women, we do need to be needed.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
A hundred percent.
That's how we are in ourmotherly instincts, in our
nurturing instincts.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Like we need to be needed Absolutely, but there is
something different about whenwe are wanted.
There is something differentabout when we are wanted, like
I've said to you specifically,times of like I want to know
that I get your attention when Iwalk into a room, like I want
to know that you want me whenyou see me, or that I catch your
eye, things like that.
(02:58):
So, yeah, I do agree, like yes,of course, baseline we all want
to be needed.
But, more importantly, we wantto be needed.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
But, more importantly , we want to be wanted.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah, I think there's just something unique about a
woman knowing that there's a manthat is actively like pursuing
her, or or how about this one, aman that actively desires a
woman that's always going afterher, but not in a sense of like
I need you, I need you.
I need you Almost like you.
I need you Almost like I needyou to complete me.
I didn't need you to completeme.
(03:28):
There's always something, too.
I think that women might evenbe attractive to men that are
self-sufficient, men that arefocused men that don't need
anything.
Like there's something aboutthat type of man versus the one
that's like waiting by the phone, waiting for the text message,
waiting by the phone, doubletexting, triple texting checking
your seeing where you at.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Please don't try so hard.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It's right Please don't.
It's almost not even attractive.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Not at all.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Because it's like yo, this guy is acting like he
can't live without me andthere's something about that I
think, psychologically speakingand you could speak into it is
that women don't find thatattractive speaking and you
could speak into it, is thatwomen don't find that attractive
?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
No, no, there's nothing about a man that seems
needy and like needs me.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Attractive.
There's nothing about that, butlike the fact that when we were
talking, you're kind of like Idon't know, I don't know how to
describe it, but you're kind oflike hey, and then kept moving
and I was like, no, I want moreof your attention like it's that
, it's that like fight for it.
Uh, with us girls, we like that, like we do really.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah, I think we need to do another episode too on
like, even for all the singlepeople out there's like single
guys out there.
I think there's a lot of guysout there that they get in the
friend zone of a girl that theyactually like because it's like
yo, you like this girl, so you,so you make yourself so
available, you're always there,you change your opinions, you
change your behavior, you startacting like a girlfriend to her,
(04:51):
all that stuff, like man dude,I'm so in there.
I'm like yeah, friend zone.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Friend zone.
You're in the friend zone.
If you're complimenting me onmy shoes, you're in the friend
zone.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, because that whole thing I heard, like
another thought of like effortreally equals value, meaning you
put effort into something thatyou value, meaning if a woman is
not putting in any effort toget you, you're not valuable to
her.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Because it's like, bro, you're trying so hard that
you're covering her trying.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Like I don't have to try for either of us because
you're so trying bro, pickyourself.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
You ain't got a job, you ain't got no place to be, no
.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I like the, the idea that you were busy and
everywhere and you had things togo and place to be and I was
like man, what is he doing rightnow?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
like yeah, I wish he would text me but then after
like all day, I text, you'd belike hey light up, like I would
light up all the way, so excited.
Even now, even after 15 yearsof marriage, like on my lunch
break, I'll call you and you'relike oh my gosh, she's calling
me, it's so true, right yeah.
And I didn't need you to pay abill, right, I didn't need you
(05:59):
to check the calendar, I didn'tneed you to let the maintenance
guy in calendar, I didn't needyou to let the maintenance guy
in.
I just wanted to check on youand I think there's security in
that, like when you're with aman that wants you.
So I do think that women, Ithink, really want to be wanted.
Well, I think y'all want andneed to be wanted and needed.
(06:20):
Y'all messy.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Listen, we need to be needed, but we want to be
wanted.
That is that don't make no senseto me it sure does too, much it
does, because even as women,there are times in our lives
where you could like someone andit would be more in an
unhealthy situation.
Yeah, but like if you justwanted.
Okay, for instance, I think ofone instance would be like a
(06:44):
trophy wife situation, like ifit's a, if it's a woman who
doesn't add much to the table,she doesn't work, she, he just
wants her around.
So there's this lack of herneeding to be needed.
He, he actually doesn't needher, he does want her, but in a
less valuable way.
That's why I said this instancewould be more unhealthy of like
(07:08):
, yeah, I'm going to take herbecause she looks good and just
stand there and be pretty.
That woman will feel discomfort, that woman will feel lack of
purpose, like eventually sheneeds to be needed.
But then that case she'sunhealthily wanted yeah, so flip
it like it's, it's both, likeboth are important and then.
(07:30):
But here I am in a relationshipof a marriage of 15 years yeah
and you do need me, but it meansmore after all this time that
you actually want.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I want you because, at the end of the day, there's
things that you could do for methat any women can do, right,
like the things that we do.
Like, okay, I need this done, Ineed this done, I need this
done, I need this done.
Like, I don't want a secretary,I don't want an assistant,
right, anyone can provide thosethings.
But the fact that you know thatI want you, regardless of
whether you can do this orprovide a service or do some
type of thing.
(08:00):
You, Regardless of whether youcan do this or provide a service
or do some type of thing,you're not a necessity to me and
I think that's attractive towomen, All right.
Second thing that I think thatwomen really want is I think
honestly, I think women want tomake sure that they feel heard.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Go ahead, keep talking about this one.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Hey, relax, all right , it's in the category of
communication.
No-transcript.
(08:52):
To hear your heart.
I think women crave that.
I think women really want tomake sure that they are heard.
I think women value a deepemotional bond like where it
comes to they feel heard, theyfeel understood, they feel
understood and they feelsupported.
Even today we were talkingabout something and I went to
cut you off and I had to say, um, I hear you.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And I said but do you ?
Because I'm not done talking,You're about to cut me off.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I was going to cut you off to tell you that I hear
you.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
You weren't, Guys.
He was locked and loaded.
He was ready to tell me how Ineeded to think about something
or how I needed to processsomething.
You were ready, but becausewe're literally having this
conversation.
He stopped himself and was likeI hear you.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Yeah, but I was straight up getting ready to cut
you off.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
But it is being heard .
I mean, we talked about it lastweek's episode.
If you didn't check out lastweek's, go back to last week's.
Last week we talked about whatmen need but most often will not
ask for.
But even in that, when wetalked about one of the
arguments that we had, thatlasted a little bit longer than
would have normally happened,and most of it was because, once
(10:00):
it boiled down to it, was thatyou didn't hear me and honestly,
I didn't hear you either.
But the reason that there wasso much conflict is because we
were not hearing each other.
So it's one thing of, you know,just being able to vent to you,
being able to like leave myconcerns and just kind of like
(10:22):
word vomit.
Honestly, sometimes we justneed to vomit our emotions and
our words, but it is moreimportant and more desirable to
just know that you hear me, likeyou hear my heart.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I have this thought here when it comes to women
wanting to be heard, womenappreciate a partner who shows
up consistently, follows throughon promises and invests in the
relationship.
And so I realized that, youknow, when it comes to promises,
like you know, there's thingsthat you want, there's things
that you ask for, there's thingsthat you desire in our, in our
relationship, and if I hear you,if I say, yo, all right, one
(10:58):
day we're going to do it, or Ithink we should do it.
So supporting, being consistentto that, I think women do
appreciate that type of partnerbeing consistent to that.
I think women do appreciatethat type of partner being
consistent with their words.
And I think that actually evensegues into the third thing.
For sure, I think the thirdthing that the third thing that
I think that women really wantis security.
(11:18):
Okay, when it comes to beingsafe and feeling safe, women
want to feel safe.
Women want to feel like.
I'm going to make it as plainas this, bruh if you can't go on
road trips and your girl justcan't drive, your girl can't
fall asleep in a passenger seatbecause you will menace behind
the wheels, right?
(11:38):
That's what I'm saying.
I mean it goes down to as simpleas that.
But I think it goes down tosticking with our word.
Like is my yes always yes?
Is my no always no?
I have a problem with men andI'm going to say this to all the
single guys out there that arelistening If you're single and
you have a hard time standing upto your girl or telling her no
and having a value and believingin something like, she will not
(12:02):
feel safe under you becauseit's like you say yes to
everything.
So that basically means when youfinally do say no, you finally
say yes.
It's hard for her to trust youor feel safe or security in your
words, and so I do think thatmy words gives you a sense of
security.
Like when I say no, I don'twant to do this or I don't
(12:22):
believe in that or I don't feelstrong about this thing.
You know my no was no.
That also lets you know thatwhen I say yes, it means yes.
It means yes and there'ssecurity in that.
I think women really do want tofeel safe.
I'll say this thought too.
Like, when it comes to security, it's security also has to do
with trust.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Also.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Like do you trust me with your life?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I used to tell you that all the time we first got
married.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Women want to feel security, they want to feel safe
.
They want to feel that they cantrust you with their heart.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Women want to feel like they can trust a man with
their emotions, with their lives.
Feel like they can trust a manwith their emotions, with their
lives, even when they take theirwig off, when it like when the
weed be coming out and you bepeeling off your, your eyelashes
, can I trust that you're notgonna bust out and laughing?
No, I'm gonna laugh, I'm notgonna bust out and laughing.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I'm like no, I cannot trust that you won't laugh what
are those?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
is my eyebrows?
No, those were eyebrows.
The mugs are gone, but it'strust.
I had this thought right here.
Emotional and relationalsecurity is huge.
Women want to feel safe, bothemotionally and physically, with
a partner who is reliable,transparent and faithful.
(13:37):
That leads to security in arelationship.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I think even to clarify too, like to go a step
further, because you saidsecurity, but we never
referenced that towardsfinancial security.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Like when it's a real love and a real partnership.
The main security that I'mlooking for you is not financial
.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
The main security I'm looking for you is not
financial.
The main security I'm lookingfor you is emotionally,
physically, spiritually, allthose aspects of it, the and I
said it earlier when we weretalking about this I was like
man.
There were so many seasonswhere we didn't have enough, but
because you were secure in yourfuture and where you were going
, because you were secure inyour future and where you were
(14:23):
going because you were secure inyour skill set and what you had
, I never worried about thosethings because I knew like those
will figure themselves out.
I have a man that I'm dating orengaged to or married to.
At the, whatever season it wasfor us, I knew you were going to
keep me secure like, and notjust financially right.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
So I think that's really important to just clarify
the difference of like, becausethere are some women out there
that are literally shopping forsomeone to keep them financially
secure.
Some people make those choiceslike but I think majority of
women, that's not what we'relooking for.
And for men, you guys fightthat really hard because how God
(15:04):
built you, you are built toprovide for us, you're built to
work for the family, and so whenwe say security, you guys think
financially and we're actuallylike actually, yeah, that comes,
but more importantly,emotionally, spiritually secure.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah, and I think with with these categories.
Um, also, let me say thisbefore we go any further do you
guys see this hoodie that danlee's wearing?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I don't know what your mic well, your microphone
is blocking um.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yo, you guys already know um.
This is second corinthians,chapter 5, verses 17.
It says anyone who belongs tochrist is a new person.
The old life is gone and thenew life has begun.
We love, love this hoodie.
God gave us this idea.
You hit the link, you guys willsee it.
You guys can shop our store.
Matter of fact, I'm rockingthese pins.
Y'all see these pins.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I have right now Yo these pins.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Actually, we haven't gone live with them, but we're
going to go live with these pinsright here.
10 bucks you get I think it'sabout five pins.
They're just old life new pins.
They're just old life, newcollection, LDC.
If you're repping there's a redone, there's a blue one Go
ahead and get yourself some pins.
We got some stickers too aswell.
Matter of fact, if you'rewatching on YouTube, let me show
you right here that, rightthere, baby.
That is that sticker's reallycool.
(16:13):
You could put it on your car,you could put it on your laptop.
We also got a hat too.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Jordan has one on his , or bottle our son.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
He does, he does.
I don't know if you guys haveseen yo this right here.
This is our trucker hat.
This is the LDC.
We're here to help you grow adeeper relationship with God,
others and yourself.
So if you haven't grabbedyourself a trucker hat, if you
know someone in your life thatloves hats, that love trucker
hats, stickers, pins, thingslike that and get that for
(16:42):
somebody.
But we really want to know yourthoughts on this conversation
as really discussing, talkingthrough what women want, because
I think that there's a lot ofideas that people can have.
Well, what about this?
What about this?
I think it really sums it downto these three lanes, right here
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
A lot of the other things that we could think of or
name would all actually fallinto those categories.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Yeah, for example, someone might say what about
affection?
Well, that falls under thefirst category.
Women want to be wanted.
So, it's affection, it'sphysical affection yeah, right,
it's.
It's it's love, it's nurtured,it's cared for Right, it's cared
for.
Being heard is very important,right, that's communication.
So when you guys are fightingabout money, when you guys are
(17:18):
fighting about the kids, whenyou guys are fighting about your
future, you know if you'refighting this because there's
just a breakdown incommunication.
Someone's not being hurt andwomen really want to feel hurt.
And the third one is women wantto feel safe.
They want to feel secure intheir relationship and their man
.
Like emotionally, like in allareas, mentally, they want to
feel like they can literally puttheir lives in this guy's hand.
(17:43):
So if you're dating like I wantto encourage you like really
process and think about thesethoughts.
If you're married, reallyevaluate your relationship and
think what are the foundationsof my relationship?
If money were to go out thewindow and there wasn't money
there, like would there still besecurity in the relationship?
Like for the fellas, if you'rea man, are you still in a place
where you feel like man, I canstill provide, I will still
(18:06):
pursue something, I will stillfind a job.
Like baby, you don't have toworry.
Like you know what I'm saying.
That's kind of like my thoughts.
I really think these are thethree biggest things.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, right, huge.
You remember when we first weredating and we are actually
might've been engaged when wedid the love languages there's
five love languages and he usedto make fun of me and call me a
golden retriever and that Ididn't need five, but I needed
seven, right, just more thanwhat would normally be needed.
(18:35):
And I remember thinking likewomen are such complex
individuals, we are complicated,we have, you know, hormonal
changes every so many days.
Please, nothing from you.
Thank you so much.
Ooh, he was quiet, guys.
I was ready for him to saysomething.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
No, I'm actually pretty hungry, so I'm just like
I feel like I'm fading right now.
I'm falling asleep.
Are you falling asleep?
Like my eyes are heavy, right?
Speaker 2 (18:59):
now, bro.
I know eyes are heavy right now, bro.
It's been rainy in california,guys, so it's like perfect nap
weather.
I'm like I want to nap all day,but all that's the same.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I'm even yawning right now.
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, bro that yawn seemed so fake at
the beginning.
You're like, look, I'm yawninganyways.
All I'm saying was we arecomplicated individuals and it
is unfortunate that our hormonesand our internal things change
every so many days.
It's just the way we werecreated.
But I think for anyone whowants to go into a relationship,
(19:30):
if you are a single man andyou're thinking, okay, I want
for my life in the next year ortwo, to find someone like,
focusing on these three thingswill give you such a good
foundation.
It will automatically set youup for success.
If you can make a woman feelwanted, if you can make her feel
(19:52):
heard and you can make her feelsafe, bruh, there's not a lot
of other things that you need todo beyond that.
Now will there come conflict?
Yes, will there be things arisewhere the certain individual of
a woman says you know what?
I need more of this one,absolutely.
We still have things that are ayear and a half ago.
I sat down and said, hey, Ifeel really bad saying this.
(20:13):
You're doing this one reallywell, but I still need this one.
Like those will come, you canmake those adjustments, but if
you're someone who's wanting toget in a serious relationship,
you walk into it focused withthese three things.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
I truly think it could set up a really good
opportunity for a solidrelationship.
Yeah, let me ask you this Doyou feel like you're getting
these three things from me?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
I'm like pausing because I don't want to answer
so fast.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Right, Because you're like people are listening and
people are like come on come on,come on, come on, come on, come
on.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Absolutely Like I've always.
You have always been a personto be a place that is secure.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Your word has always been your word.
People ask us how we do it now,where you travel for you know
music gigs and I stay home withthe kids and we live around no
family because we live in aplace for ministry and I said
that's what I signed up for whenyou were 17.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That was a real yawn there, I know I'm still yawning.
That first one started it.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
That was it, but that's what I signed up for,
because your word is your word.
When you were 18 years old,when I met you, you have always
been one of those people thatwhen you say something, it will
come, even if it takes a longtime, like it'll come.
And you just have never beenthat way of like switching your
words back and forth where Icouldn't trust you.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
So let me give myself I'm a grade myself.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Wait, I'm not done.
Wait being heard, we're workingon it.
That, we're working on it.
You have put conscious effortinto hearing me recently, in the
last few years.
I do think we're still workingon you, not like jumping and
saying something before I finish.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Well, that's not what I'm working on.
I think everyone in the worldis working on that.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Okay, fair enough, that's not a pure thing.
That's like we all you ask mehow you are doing yeah I'm not
answering how the world is doing.
I'm answering how pierre isdoing.
I'm just saying like, I'm likeback at you baby true, fair
enough, okay, so you're workingon hearing me and then I have
felt a huge difference in thelast few years from you of
(22:19):
feeling wanted by you and notjust needed by you.
Yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah, that's I was going to grade myself.
I think I've done really wellin category three of making you
feel safe and secure in ourrelationship and in our life.
We've moved around quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Quite a bit in the last 15 years and there was
never a time where you felt likewe were unstable or that we
were lost or shipwrecked?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
No, not at all.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Even if we had to live in someone's basement for a
month, or you know what I meanwas had to moving back with
parents earlier in our marriage.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
So true, like we always knew what God said.
We always knew where we wereheaded.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Second, what God said we always knew where we were
headed, yeah.
Second category herd yeah, I do.
I do believe that that's acategory that I've gotten much
better in of like, and you knowwhy?
It's because I realized yourvalue and that you actually do
have something to say and thatyou have a different perspective
to life and to parenting, andto finance and to health and in
relationships.
And it wasn't until I was ableto value what you had to say.
(23:23):
It wasn't until I was able tovalue what you had to say.
That's when I decided torealize like, oh, she actually
needs to be heard.
I want to hear what you'rethinking.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
What do you think it was that made that switch?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Man.
I'll be honest with you, man,it's.
It was my culture, upbringing.
It was the house that I wasraised in.
You know, it was just that thattype of culture, like women
weren't really heard.
And then you mix that in withwhat the Bible says about women
speaking plus the culture, andso you mix all that in and
biblical culture speaking.
(24:00):
It just became like womendidn't have voices and you grow
up just seeing that, like my daddidn't really listen to my mom,
she wasn't really heard, so shejust stayed silent all the time
.
It's almost like she knew it,so she never had to nag or she
just knew it.
You know what I'm saying.
And so you get that in yourformative years you just start
thinking like, yeah, woman, youknow what I mean, straight up.
(24:20):
I'm just being honest with you.
Right, it wasn't until I valued.
Like man, you have something tosay.
God put you on this earth for areason.
He gave, god gave you yourperspective, your eyes and your
filters for a reason.
And until I see value in that,I will never respect what you
have to say.
And that's what shifted for me.
And then, yes, category numberone, I would say that's the one
(24:42):
area that I'm always going to bechallenged in, because, as a
man, that is self-sufficient,which is what's attracted like.
That's like well, yeah, to you,you're attracted to that.
It's that thing of just likenot needing a woman.
I think one of the most solidmen like, like, like, or
something that makes a man verysolid is that he doesn't need a
(25:05):
woman to complete him.
Like you know what I'm saying.
But like for me, I want youbecause there's a lot of things
that you bring out of me.
But I'm saying is like that'salways gonna be the challenge,
because like I'm good all bymyself, right, like I'm
literally all good by myself,like you're not saying as good
but I'm not as good.
(25:26):
But here's the crazy thing is,I'll still be good though bro
gosh but I'm saying all that tosay, lord mercy I want you in my
life.
I desire you, my eyes are on you, my thoughts are on you.
I want you in my life, I desireyou, my eyes are on you, my
thoughts are on you, I want youthere, and I have to make sure
that it's not like I need you, Ineed you, I need you.
(25:47):
The only relationship that Ineed in my life is my life with
God.
That's the one that I need.
But I want to have arelationship with my wife, a
relationship with my son, withmy friends, with with my son,
with my friends, with my leaders, with my coworkers, with my
peers, the people that I'mwalking with.
I want, I desire thoserelationships and, yes,
ultimately we need them.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
We need them so that we can live properly.
We do need them More so, butthere's just something different
about desiring it and wantingit Like.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
So I think we graded me about the same.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I think so, tim.
Well, we hope y'all haveenjoyed this conversation.
It's been really fun talkingabout these relationships in
this aspect and in thisviewpoint of what do men need,
what do women want, and, um, Ithink it's been really fun to
talk about these, so I hopey'all have enjoyed them.
If you didn't check out thelast episode, make sure you
click back and go check it out.
Is so good I think that you'llbe surprised of the ones that
(26:42):
men need but they won't ask for.
So, uh, like comment, subscribe.
Send this video to someone.
Women, if you need a little, alittle nudge for your man, you
know what?
We give you permission, it'sokay.
Send this to them, um, and thenthey won't get mad at you.
They can get mad at us, it'sfine, that's okay.
Actually, hopefully, most ofthe men agree with it.
So we love y'all.
(27:02):
Thank you for joining us and wewill see you next time.
Peace.
Yo, welcome back to let's Dig the Podcast.
Today, we're going to betalking about the three things
that women want the most.
These are three things thatthey crave, unlike men.
They ask for it.
I'm telling you, ladies, youwant to hear this, but, more
importantly, guys, you want tohear this.
Women listen through this too,because I think you need to send
it to your man, send it to yourhusband, send it to your
(00:21):
boyfriend.
We're going to jump into it,though.
It's three things that Ibelieve, after a couple of hours
of us talking about this, I'vetalked about this.
We went through a lot ofconversations, really processing
what do women really want,because I feel like I do need a
lot.
We do need a lot, but I want totalk about what I think that you
guys actually really want.
I think there's a difference.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
That's very true.
Yeah, I'm, I'm ready to getinto this conversation.
If you are new here, we're soglad that you jumped into this
chat.
Uh, we love letting you in onour conversations that we are
having at home.
That's why we're sitting in ourliving room on our couch.
We want you to be a part of theconversations that we are
having in our house.
But, more importantly, we arehere to help you grow a deeper
(01:00):
relationship with God, othersand yourself.
So hit that like button, dropus a comment.
We are always watching comments, writing back to you.
We love chatting with you guys.
You can even just tap thatlittle heart and send us some
thank yous, but don't forget tosubscribe so that you know every
video that drops.
We drop one every single weekand we're talking about things
(01:21):
that matter digging down to thegold.
That's all the way down at thebottom and helping your
relationships grow with God,others and yourself.
So if you're ready, let's dig.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I'm going to jump right into it.
The first one that I do believethat I think women really want
is you guys want to be wanted,meaning you guys want to be
pursued.
You guys want to feel like youwere chosen.
Because I think us men like wealways like to think of it as
there's a bunch of options outthere, because, think about it,
there's more women than men inthis world, that's true.
(01:53):
So for us it's, there's a bunchof options in this.
That is true In this world, andI think, when you feel like I
want you and some people mightsay, well, well, I think women
want to be needed, yes, but Ithink I feel comfortable arguing
that, because sometimes it canbe borderline toxic, like, hey,
I need you to take care of thehouse, I need you to take care
(02:13):
of the car, I need you to dothis, I need you to do that, but
knowing that I don't need youfor anything, but I choose you.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I want you Like.
There's events that I've goneto before where I actually
didn't need you there.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
But I wanted you there.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
That's true, because women, we do need to be needed.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
A hundred percent.
That's how we are in ourmotherly instincts, in our
nurturing instincts.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Like we need to be needed Absolutely, but there is
something different about whenwe are wanted.
There is something differentabout when we are wanted, like
I've said to you specifically,times of like I want to know
that I get your attention when Iwalk into a room, like I want
to know that you want me whenyou see me, or that I catch your
eye, things like that.
(02:58):
So, yeah, I do agree, like yes,of course, baseline we all want
to be needed.
But, more importantly, we wantto be needed.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
But, more importantly , we want to be wanted.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah, I think there's just something unique about a
woman knowing that there's a manthat is actively like pursuing
her, or or how about this one, aman that actively desires a
woman that's always going afterher, but not in a sense of like
I need you, I need you.
I need you Almost like you.
I need you Almost like I needyou to complete me.
I didn't need you to completeme.
(03:28):
There's always something, too.
I think that women might evenbe attractive to men that are
self-sufficient, men that arefocused men that don't need
anything.
Like there's something aboutthat type of man versus the one
that's like waiting by the phone, waiting for the text message,
waiting by the phone, doubletexting, triple texting checking
your seeing where you at.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Please don't try so hard.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It's right Please don't.
It's almost not even attractive.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Not at all.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Because it's like yo, this guy is acting like he
can't live without me andthere's something about that I
think, psychologically speakingand you could speak into it is
that women don't find thatattractive speaking and you
could speak into it, is thatwomen don't find that attractive
?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
No, no, there's nothing about a man that seems
needy and like needs me.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Attractive.
There's nothing about that, butlike the fact that when we were
talking, you're kind of like Idon't know, I don't know how to
describe it, but you're kind oflike hey, and then kept moving
and I was like, no, I want moreof your attention like it's that
, it's that like fight for it.
Uh, with us girls, we like that, like we do really.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah, I think we need to do another episode too on
like, even for all the singlepeople out there's like single
guys out there.
I think there's a lot of guysout there that they get in the
friend zone of a girl that theyactually like because it's like
yo, you like this girl, so you,so you make yourself so
available, you're always there,you change your opinions, you
change your behavior, you startacting like a girlfriend to her,
(04:51):
all that stuff, like man dude,I'm so in there.
I'm like yeah, friend zone.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Friend zone.
You're in the friend zone.
If you're complimenting me onmy shoes, you're in the friend
zone.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, because that whole thing I heard, like
another thought of like effortreally equals value, meaning you
put effort into something thatyou value, meaning if a woman is
not putting in any effort toget you, you're not valuable to
her.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Because it's like, bro, you're trying so hard that
you're covering her trying.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Like I don't have to try for either of us because
you're so trying bro, pickyourself.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
You ain't got a job, you ain't got no place to be, no
.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I like the, the idea that you were busy and
everywhere and you had things togo and place to be and I was
like man, what is he doing rightnow?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
like yeah, I wish he would text me but then after
like all day, I text, you'd belike hey light up, like I would
light up all the way, so excited.
Even now, even after 15 yearsof marriage, like on my lunch
break, I'll call you and you'relike oh my gosh, she's calling
me, it's so true, right yeah.
And I didn't need you to pay abill, right, I didn't need you
(05:59):
to check the calendar, I didn'tneed you to let the maintenance
guy in calendar, I didn't needyou to let the maintenance guy
in.
I just wanted to check on youand I think there's security in
that, like when you're with aman that wants you.
So I do think that women, Ithink, really want to be wanted.
Well, I think y'all want andneed to be wanted and needed.
(06:20):
Y'all messy.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Listen, we need to be needed, but we want to be
wanted.
That is that don't make no senseto me it sure does too, much it
does, because even as women,there are times in our lives
where you could like someone andit would be more in an
unhealthy situation.
Yeah, but like if you justwanted.
Okay, for instance, I think ofone instance would be like a
(06:44):
trophy wife situation, like ifit's a, if it's a woman who
doesn't add much to the table,she doesn't work, she, he just
wants her around.
So there's this lack of herneeding to be needed.
He, he actually doesn't needher, he does want her, but in a
less valuable way.
That's why I said this instancewould be more unhealthy of like
(07:08):
, yeah, I'm going to take herbecause she looks good and just
stand there and be pretty.
That woman will feel discomfort, that woman will feel lack of
purpose, like eventually sheneeds to be needed.
But then that case she'sunhealthily wanted yeah, so flip
it like it's, it's both, likeboth are important and then.
(07:30):
But here I am in a relationshipof a marriage of 15 years yeah
and you do need me, but it meansmore after all this time that
you actually want.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I want you because, at the end of the day, there's
things that you could do for methat any women can do, right,
like the things that we do.
Like, okay, I need this done, Ineed this done, I need this
done, I need this done.
Like, I don't want a secretary,I don't want an assistant,
right, anyone can provide thosethings.
But the fact that you know thatI want you, regardless of
whether you can do this orprovide a service or do some
type of thing.
(08:00):
You, Regardless of whether youcan do this or provide a service
or do some type of thing,you're not a necessity to me and
I think that's attractive towomen, All right.
Second thing that I think thatwomen really want is I think
honestly, I think women want tomake sure that they feel heard.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Go ahead, keep talking about this one.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Hey, relax, all right , it's in the category of
communication.
No-transcript.
(08:52):
To hear your heart.
I think women crave that.
I think women really want tomake sure that they are heard.
I think women value a deepemotional bond like where it
comes to they feel heard, theyfeel understood, they feel
understood and they feelsupported.
Even today we were talkingabout something and I went to
cut you off and I had to say, um, I hear you.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And I said but do you ?
Because I'm not done talking,You're about to cut me off.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I was going to cut you off to tell you that I hear
you.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
You weren't, Guys.
He was locked and loaded.
He was ready to tell me how Ineeded to think about something
or how I needed to processsomething.
You were ready, but becausewe're literally having this
conversation.
He stopped himself and was likeI hear you.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Yeah, but I was straight up getting ready to cut
you off.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
But it is being heard .
I mean, we talked about it lastweek's episode.
If you didn't check out lastweek's, go back to last week's.
Last week we talked about whatmen need but most often will not
ask for.
But even in that, when wetalked about one of the
arguments that we had, thatlasted a little bit longer than
would have normally happened,and most of it was because, once
(10:00):
it boiled down to it, was thatyou didn't hear me and honestly,
I didn't hear you either.
But the reason that there wasso much conflict is because we
were not hearing each other.
So it's one thing of, you know,just being able to vent to you,
being able to like leave myconcerns and just kind of like
(10:22):
word vomit.
Honestly, sometimes we justneed to vomit our emotions and
our words, but it is moreimportant and more desirable to
just know that you hear me, likeyou hear my heart.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I have this thought here when it comes to women
wanting to be heard, womenappreciate a partner who shows
up consistently, follows throughon promises and invests in the
relationship.
And so I realized that, youknow, when it comes to promises,
like you know, there's thingsthat you want, there's things
that you ask for, there's thingsthat you desire in our, in our
relationship, and if I hear you,if I say, yo, all right, one
(10:58):
day we're going to do it, or Ithink we should do it.
So supporting, being consistentto that, I think women do
appreciate that type of partnerbeing consistent to that.
I think women do appreciatethat type of partner being
consistent with their words.
And I think that actually evensegues into the third thing.
For sure, I think the thirdthing that the third thing that
I think that women really wantis security.
(11:18):
Okay, when it comes to beingsafe and feeling safe, women
want to feel safe.
Women want to feel like.
I'm going to make it as plainas this, bruh if you can't go on
road trips and your girl justcan't drive, your girl can't
fall asleep in a passenger seatbecause you will menace behind
the wheels, right?
(11:38):
That's what I'm saying.
I mean it goes down to as simpleas that.
But I think it goes down tosticking with our word.
Like is my yes always yes?
Is my no always no?
I have a problem with men andI'm going to say this to all the
single guys out there that arelistening If you're single and
you have a hard time standing upto your girl or telling her no
and having a value and believingin something like, she will not
(12:02):
feel safe under you becauseit's like you say yes to
everything.
So that basically means when youfinally do say no, you finally
say yes.
It's hard for her to trust youor feel safe or security in your
words, and so I do think thatmy words gives you a sense of
security.
Like when I say no, I don'twant to do this or I don't
(12:22):
believe in that or I don't feelstrong about this thing.
You know my no was no.
That also lets you know thatwhen I say yes, it means yes.
It means yes and there'ssecurity in that.
I think women really do want tofeel safe.
I'll say this thought too.
Like, when it comes to security, it's security also has to do
with trust.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Also.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Like do you trust me with your life?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I used to tell you that all the time we first got
married.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Women want to feel security, they want to feel safe
.
They want to feel that they cantrust you with their heart.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Women want to feel like they can trust a man with
their emotions, with their lives.
Feel like they can trust a manwith their emotions, with their
lives, even when they take theirwig off, when it like when the
weed be coming out and you bepeeling off your, your eyelashes
, can I trust that you're notgonna bust out and laughing?
No, I'm gonna laugh, I'm notgonna bust out and laughing.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I'm like no, I cannot trust that you won't laugh what
are those?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
is my eyebrows?
No, those were eyebrows.
The mugs are gone, but it'strust.
I had this thought right here.
Emotional and relationalsecurity is huge.
Women want to feel safe, bothemotionally and physically, with
a partner who is reliable,transparent and faithful.
(13:37):
That leads to security in arelationship.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I think even to clarify too, like to go a step
further, because you saidsecurity, but we never
referenced that towardsfinancial security.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Like when it's a real love and a real partnership.
The main security that I'mlooking for you is not financial
.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
The main security I'm looking for you is not
financial.
The main security I'm lookingfor you is emotionally,
physically, spiritually, allthose aspects of it, the and I
said it earlier when we weretalking about this I was like
man.
There were so many seasonswhere we didn't have enough, but
because you were secure in yourfuture and where you were going
, because you were secure inyour future and where you were
(14:23):
going because you were secure inyour skill set and what you had
, I never worried about thosethings because I knew like those
will figure themselves out.
I have a man that I'm dating orengaged to or married to.
At the, whatever season it wasfor us, I knew you were going to
keep me secure like, and notjust financially right.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
So I think that's really important to just clarify
the difference of like, becausethere are some women out there
that are literally shopping forsomeone to keep them financially
secure.
Some people make those choiceslike but I think majority of
women, that's not what we'relooking for.
And for men, you guys fightthat really hard because how God
(15:04):
built you, you are built toprovide for us, you're built to
work for the family, and so whenwe say security, you guys think
financially and we're actuallylike actually, yeah, that comes,
but more importantly,emotionally, spiritually secure.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah, and I think with with these categories.
Um, also, let me say thisbefore we go any further do you
guys see this hoodie that danlee's wearing?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I don't know what your mic well, your microphone
is blocking um.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yo, you guys already know um.
This is second corinthians,chapter 5, verses 17.
It says anyone who belongs tochrist is a new person.
The old life is gone and thenew life has begun.
We love, love this hoodie.
God gave us this idea.
You hit the link, you guys willsee it.
You guys can shop our store.
Matter of fact, I'm rockingthese pins.
Y'all see these pins.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I have right now Yo these pins.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Actually, we haven't gone live with them, but we're
going to go live with these pinsright here.
10 bucks you get I think it'sabout five pins.
They're just old life new pins.
They're just old life, newcollection, LDC.
If you're repping there's a redone, there's a blue one Go
ahead and get yourself some pins.
We got some stickers too aswell.
Matter of fact, if you'rewatching on YouTube, let me show
you right here that, rightthere, baby.
That is that sticker's reallycool.
(16:13):
You could put it on your car,you could put it on your laptop.
We also got a hat too.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Jordan has one on his , or bottle our son.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
He does, he does.
I don't know if you guys haveseen yo this right here.
This is our trucker hat.
This is the LDC.
We're here to help you grow adeeper relationship with God,
others and yourself.
So if you haven't grabbedyourself a trucker hat, if you
know someone in your life thatloves hats, that love trucker
hats, stickers, pins, thingslike that and get that for
(16:42):
somebody.
But we really want to know yourthoughts on this conversation
as really discussing, talkingthrough what women want, because
I think that there's a lot ofideas that people can have.
Well, what about this?
What about this?
I think it really sums it downto these three lanes, right here
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
A lot of the other things that we could think of or
name would all actually fallinto those categories.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Yeah, for example, someone might say what about
affection?
Well, that falls under thefirst category.
Women want to be wanted.
So, it's affection, it'sphysical affection yeah, right,
it's.
It's it's love, it's nurtured,it's cared for Right, it's cared
for.
Being heard is very important,right, that's communication.
So when you guys are fightingabout money, when you guys are
(17:18):
fighting about the kids, whenyou guys are fighting about your
future, you know if you'refighting this because there's
just a breakdown incommunication.
Someone's not being hurt andwomen really want to feel hurt.
And the third one is women wantto feel safe.
They want to feel secure intheir relationship and their man
.
Like emotionally, like in allareas, mentally, they want to
feel like they can literally puttheir lives in this guy's hand.
(17:43):
So if you're dating like I wantto encourage you like really
process and think about thesethoughts.
If you're married, reallyevaluate your relationship and
think what are the foundationsof my relationship?
If money were to go out thewindow and there wasn't money
there, like would there still besecurity in the relationship?
Like for the fellas, if you'rea man, are you still in a place
where you feel like man, I canstill provide, I will still
(18:06):
pursue something, I will stillfind a job.
Like baby, you don't have toworry.
Like you know what I'm saying.
That's kind of like my thoughts.
I really think these are thethree biggest things.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, right, huge.
You remember when we first weredating and we are actually
might've been engaged when wedid the love languages there's
five love languages and he usedto make fun of me and call me a
golden retriever and that Ididn't need five, but I needed
seven, right, just more thanwhat would normally be needed.
(18:35):
And I remember thinking likewomen are such complex
individuals, we are complicated,we have, you know, hormonal
changes every so many days.
Please, nothing from you.
Thank you so much.
Ooh, he was quiet, guys.
I was ready for him to saysomething.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
No, I'm actually pretty hungry, so I'm just like
I feel like I'm fading right now.
I'm falling asleep.
Are you falling asleep?
Like my eyes are heavy, right?
Speaker 2 (18:59):
now, bro.
I know eyes are heavy right now, bro.
It's been rainy in california,guys, so it's like perfect nap
weather.
I'm like I want to nap all day,but all that's the same.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I'm even yawning right now.
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, bro that yawn seemed so fake at
the beginning.
You're like, look, I'm yawninganyways.
All I'm saying was we arecomplicated individuals and it
is unfortunate that our hormonesand our internal things change
every so many days.
It's just the way we werecreated.
But I think for anyone whowants to go into a relationship,
(19:30):
if you are a single man andyou're thinking, okay, I want
for my life in the next year ortwo, to find someone like,
focusing on these three thingswill give you such a good
foundation.
It will automatically set youup for success.
If you can make a woman feelwanted, if you can make her feel
(19:52):
heard and you can make her feelsafe, bruh, there's not a lot
of other things that you need todo beyond that.
Now will there come conflict?
Yes, will there be things arisewhere the certain individual of
a woman says you know what?
I need more of this one,absolutely.
We still have things that are ayear and a half ago.
I sat down and said, hey, Ifeel really bad saying this.
(20:13):
You're doing this one reallywell, but I still need this one.
Like those will come, you canmake those adjustments, but if
you're someone who's wanting toget in a serious relationship,
you walk into it focused withthese three things.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
I truly think it could set up a really good
opportunity for a solidrelationship.
Yeah, let me ask you this Doyou feel like you're getting
these three things from me?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
I'm like pausing because I don't want to answer
so fast.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Right, Because you're like people are listening and
people are like come on come on,come on, come on, come on, come
on.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Absolutely Like I've always.
You have always been a personto be a place that is secure.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Your word has always been your word.
People ask us how we do it now,where you travel for you know
music gigs and I stay home withthe kids and we live around no
family because we live in aplace for ministry and I said
that's what I signed up for whenyou were 17.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That was a real yawn there, I know I'm still yawning.
That first one started it.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
That was it, but that's what I signed up for,
because your word is your word.
When you were 18 years old,when I met you, you have always
been one of those people thatwhen you say something, it will
come, even if it takes a longtime, like it'll come.
And you just have never beenthat way of like switching your
words back and forth where Icouldn't trust you.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
So let me give myself I'm a grade myself.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Wait, I'm not done.
Wait being heard, we're workingon it.
That, we're working on it.
You have put conscious effortinto hearing me recently, in the
last few years.
I do think we're still workingon you, not like jumping and
saying something before I finish.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Well, that's not what I'm working on.
I think everyone in the worldis working on that.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Okay, fair enough, that's not a pure thing.
That's like we all you ask mehow you are doing yeah I'm not
answering how the world is doing.
I'm answering how pierre isdoing.
I'm just saying like, I'm likeback at you baby true, fair
enough, okay, so you're workingon hearing me and then I have
felt a huge difference in thelast few years from you of
(22:19):
feeling wanted by you and notjust needed by you.
Yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah, that's I was going to grade myself.
I think I've done really wellin category three of making you
feel safe and secure in ourrelationship and in our life.
We've moved around quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Quite a bit in the last 15 years and there was
never a time where you felt likewe were unstable or that we
were lost or shipwrecked?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
No, not at all.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Even if we had to live in someone's basement for a
month, or you know what I meanwas had to moving back with
parents earlier in our marriage.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
So true, like we always knew what God said.
We always knew where we wereheaded.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Second, what God said we always knew where we were
headed, yeah.
Second category herd yeah, I do.
I do believe that that's acategory that I've gotten much
better in of like, and you knowwhy?
It's because I realized yourvalue and that you actually do
have something to say and thatyou have a different perspective
to life and to parenting, andto finance and to health and in
relationships.
And it wasn't until I was ableto value what you had to say.
(23:23):
It wasn't until I was able tovalue what you had to say.
That's when I decided torealize like, oh, she actually
needs to be heard.
I want to hear what you'rethinking.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
What do you think it was that made that switch?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Man.
I'll be honest with you, man,it's.
It was my culture, upbringing.
It was the house that I wasraised in.
You know, it was just that thattype of culture, like women
weren't really heard.
And then you mix that in withwhat the Bible says about women
speaking plus the culture, andso you mix all that in and
biblical culture speaking.
(24:00):
It just became like womendidn't have voices and you grow
up just seeing that, like my daddidn't really listen to my mom,
she wasn't really heard, so shejust stayed silent all the time
.
It's almost like she knew it,so she never had to nag or she
just knew it.
You know what I'm saying.
And so you get that in yourformative years you just start
thinking like, yeah, woman, youknow what I mean, straight up.
(24:20):
I'm just being honest with you.
Right, it wasn't until I valued.
Like man, you have something tosay.
God put you on this earth for areason.
He gave, god gave you yourperspective, your eyes and your
filters for a reason.
And until I see value in that,I will never respect what you
have to say.
And that's what shifted for me.
And then, yes, category numberone, I would say that's the one
(24:42):
area that I'm always going to bechallenged in, because, as a
man, that is self-sufficient,which is what's attracted like.
That's like well, yeah, to you,you're attracted to that.
It's that thing of just likenot needing a woman.
I think one of the most solidmen like, like, like, or
something that makes a man verysolid is that he doesn't need a
(25:05):
woman to complete him.
Like you know what I'm saying.
But like for me, I want youbecause there's a lot of things
that you bring out of me.
But I'm saying is like that'salways gonna be the challenge,
because like I'm good all bymyself, right, like I'm
literally all good by myself,like you're not saying as good
but I'm not as good.
(25:26):
But here's the crazy thing is,I'll still be good though bro
gosh but I'm saying all that tosay, lord mercy I want you in my
life.
I desire you, my eyes are on you, my thoughts are on you.
I want you in my life, I desireyou, my eyes are on you, my
thoughts are on you, I want youthere, and I have to make sure
that it's not like I need you, Ineed you, I need you.
(25:47):
The only relationship that Ineed in my life is my life with
God.
That's the one that I need.
But I want to have arelationship with my wife, a
relationship with my son, withmy friends, with with my son,
with my friends, with my leaders, with my coworkers, with my
peers, the people that I'mwalking with.
I want, I desire thoserelationships and, yes,
ultimately we need them.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
We need them so that we can live properly.
We do need them More so, butthere's just something different
about desiring it and wantingit Like.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
So I think we graded me about the same.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I think so, tim.
Well, we hope y'all haveenjoyed this conversation.
It's been really fun talkingabout these relationships in
this aspect and in thisviewpoint of what do men need,
what do women want, and, um, Ithink it's been really fun to
talk about these, so I hopey'all have enjoyed them.
If you didn't check out thelast episode, make sure you
click back and go check it out.
Is so good I think that you'llbe surprised of the ones that
(26:42):
men need but they won't ask for.
So, uh, like comment, subscribe.
Send this video to someone.
Women, if you need a little, alittle nudge for your man, you
know what?
We give you permission, it'sokay.
Send this to them, um, and thenthey won't get mad at you.
They can get mad at us, it'sfine, that's okay.
Actually, hopefully, most ofthe men agree with it.
So we love y'all.
(27:02):
Thank you for joining us and wewill see you next time.
Peace.
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