October 25, 2023 • 62 mins
What if you had a secret roadmap to navigate through the complex labyrinth of modern dating? Buckle up, because we're about to chart a course through an intricate exploration of the gender dynamics, shifting expectations, and evolving norms that are redefining the world of dating. Join us as we venture into an animated conversation about a man who leaves a woman with the bill on a date—a story that unravels thought-provoking viewpoints on entitlement and the currencies of dating.
Confidence, as they say, is the key. But how does it play a role in flirting and dating? Let's decode the mysteries of the perfect approach, the magic of eye contact, and the importance of celebrating male energy in relationships. We share anecdotes, observations, and advice, serving up a potent cocktail of dating wisdom. Along the way, we tackle the complexities of changing gender roles and the paramount importance of open communication in relationships.
As we draw towards the end of this enlightening journey, we drift into the more somber aspects of relationships. Living together, setting boundaries, dealing with the end of a relationship—each has its own unique challenges. We impart insights on handling these situations with grace and ensuring a healthy, honest dialogue when things aren't working. Our conversation wraps up with an exploration of the importance of therapy, understanding your partner's sexual history, and moving forward post-breakup. Get ready to uncover truths that might change your view of modern dating forever, and join us for a ride through the exhilarating and sometimes bumpy road of love and relationships.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, good afternoon, good morning, good
evening, depending on where youare in the world.
I welcome back to let's TalkLater.
I am your host, capri.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And I'm Jaila.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Got a little different spin every day.
Today I thought it would bereally fun to do a little
interview on our host over here,jaila, because like what do
y'all say Low-key?
She kind of thinks she's likean expert on relationships a
(00:35):
little bit.
I think she might say no, but Ithink she thinks she knows some
stuff.
So we're going to ask somequestions today about
relationship advice to MissJaila.
How do you feel about that?
It's not a surprise.
I told you this was good.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I do not think I am a relationship expert.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So what do you call it?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I'm a relationship guru.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Oh, she's a guru Excuse me, the relationship guru
.
Today, people will be answeringsome questions and giving her
perspective on the dating scene,so I have some questions for
her, and these questions areprompt questions and it's
usually going to lead us intosome discussion.
(01:26):
I want to start off actuallyit's kind of like perfect time,
honestly with the topic of todayof 2023 relationships, I guess,
if you will.
I saw this video on Instagramand it was this girl.
Supposedly this guy had beenlike for two weeks.
He'd been like texting her andtalking to himself.
(01:48):
She never responded to him.
She didn't block him forwhatever, who knows why.
And so he texted her one dayand he was like hey, let's you
know, can we meet for drinks?
She was bored, she had time,and so she had a meter at this
oyster spot in Atlanta and shesaid they so good, the oysters
are the bomb.
And so supposedly they met up.
In the video she never shows hisface or his hand, arm, foot,
(02:12):
shoe, nothing.
So I'm suspicious if it wasjust for content or not.
But hey, and she orders likefour platters of oysters and
some potatoes and some crabcakes, thinking she about to,
you know, win a meal for thefree.
I guess she was like you know,I don't care.
You know she basically has nointerest in this dude.
Obviously she ain't beenresponding to any of his
(02:35):
messages, but she thought shewas going to get a free meal.
And then she says, after sheslurps 30,000 times, I'm sorry,
I have like a auditory thing.
She said he went to thebathroom and then left, like he
skipped the bill and she had topay the bill herself and then
(02:56):
she had texted him.
She was like, wow, skipping outon the tab is crazy.
And he was like I invited youfor drinks.
I didn't expect you to orderall that food.
I'll cash out for you for thefood.
I'll cash out for you for thedrinks.
And she upset what are you like?
What's your reaction to that?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Have you seen it first of all?
No, I've not seen that.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, what's your reaction to that?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Oh, women are weird, that is so weird.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Why Like, say more like?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
that's so weird because if the shoe is on the
other foot and a man first ofall, first of all you talk to
yourself.
I'm not going out nowhere withyou if I'm talking to myself,
I'm not even going to talk tomyself After you don't respond
to.
The first one is raps.
I might unsend the message.
I'm going to delete it so Idon't feel embarrassed.
But then I invite you out fordrinks and you think that I'm
(03:49):
finna, like just automaticallyjust care this bill Like sort of
you ate autumn nasty oysters.
Pay that bill, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
No, I agree that was that should even like them.
No, so I'm definitely notpaying for nothing.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
He ain't getting no koochie, neither.
No, he left Exactly, he knew hedidn't want that.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That's just like I don't know if it's just social
media or the things I see, but Ifeel like the way people date,
it's just or not even day, justthe way the eyes are, just the
way the opposite sexes engagewith one another, it's just so
(04:34):
different than I don't know.
I guess, when I was dating,like it's like spin on me, you
know, run up, run up, run up, acheck, you know, like I'm trying
to get the bag, like it's allabout what you can do for
somebody else.
That's what.
That's how I perceive it, likewhat can you do for me?
Like there was another videowhere this girl was going off on
(04:55):
social media because dudewouldn't cut her state.
She said you invited me todinner, cut my steak.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Like what's that word ?
Mom Entitlement?
Yes, yeah, this generation,everyone feels entitled to
luxuries they can't even affordthemselves, like men feel not
every not every man, but a goodchunk of men feel entitled to
goes between your legs.
(05:23):
And women feel entitled towhat's in your pockets.
Yeah, and it's almost like Imean, if you both feel this way,
okay, because I feel like ifyou ask it for you know what I'm
saying and I'm asking for somemoney because I think that women
and men operate in twodifferent currencies.
(05:44):
You know how men think oh,having a lot of females and
being a player and all thisstuff that holds a lot of value
to them to be respected andworshiped, I guess, by women.
And then women think like youknow what, I want to have all
this money because I want tohave my hair done, I want to
(06:05):
have my nails done, I want to dothis.
And if they're operating inthese currencies that have a lot
of value to them because a lotof women unfortunately feel like
they find their value in men,if they have a high value man,
then that adds value to them,not every woman, not every
situation, but a good chunk ofit.
(06:26):
So it's kind of like okay, well, I'm not sitting here cutting
nobody's steak because you agrown man, but I can't be mad
about it, like I can't be likeoh man, that's crazy because,
hey, I mean, everybody operatedin what they think is valuable.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
I definitely agree with that.
And just as far as, like, theentitlement of the man to the
guji grounds, I feel like that'salways been.
Yeah, I feel like that's thewhole.
I feel like what's new iswomen's entitlement to your
(07:08):
money.
I feel like that's new, or it'selevated, it's increased, but I
feel like dudes have alwaysfelt entitled to sex, always.
And yeah, I don't know if it'sgoing to change, but yeah, so,
yeah, I just thought thosevideos were ignorant and
(07:30):
hilarious at the same time, so Iwanted to share.
So let's jump into thequestions.
So, jaila, first question Inyour opinion, what are the top
three worst traits that you'venoticed in men and women dating
today?
Bro, I guess we've kind ofmentioned a couple of them.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah like for both of them, like shared traits or
separate traits.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Separate traits.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Okay for men.
I've been noticing a lot of menlack like.
Men want everything just kindof handed to them now.
They don't expect a lot of likepushback or a challenge.
It's kind of like just bedocile and submissive to me and
(08:19):
we're gonna be good.
This new quote, unquote era ofsassy men.
They say Like.
A lot of people are like oh,we're in the era of sassy men.
Like I wouldn't say that menare being sassy.
I think men are trying to flipthe script and now they're
trying to be like oh well, if Ihave to get you flowers, you
(08:40):
need to get me flowers too.
This is very like.
This is happening.
Yeah, so men are trying to nowflip the script.
They're trying to be whateverthat is.
Another trait that I've beennoticing is this whole new like
like situation where literallyjust some a little boy said this
(09:06):
yesterday.
He's a little boy because he'syounger to me.
He was on the phone, not me andhim, but like me and my sister,
he probably don't know who heis.
He gonna say that this onesituation made him never wanna
be loved again.
And I'd be feeling like menwhen they get hurt once it's
raps like I'm never doing thisagain and I'm gonna play every
(09:28):
female from now on because thisone woman hurt my heart and it's
like, bro, you're being sodramatic and now this one
situation has ruined 10 femalesbecause this one woman, I don't
know.
I think that could go both waystoo, because when women get
hurt, they start saying like oh,I'm gonna dog you before you
(09:50):
dog me Now.
This is another trait that I'mseeing amongst women is that
women don't wanna be womenanymore, but then they wanna get
treated like women, likethey're like super independent,
they're hyper independent.
They sit on Instagram and belike I don't need a man for
nothing.
All men ain't poop X, y and Z,but then they want a man to take
them out and cut their steakand open the car door and do all
(10:13):
this and it's like no offense.
But if you're not acting like alady, I'm not gonna treat you
like a lady, or the same otheron the other foot.
If you're acting like a man, ifyou acting like my girlfriend,
I'm gonna treat you like you'remy girlfriend.
I'm gonna open a door for younow, mm.
I believe in gender roles.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
So I've never heard of the sassy man Like does that
have anything to do withsexuality?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
No, no, no, no it's like like men, being more like
emotional, I guess.
Or like this new thing that'sgoing around on like Instagram
and stuff, is have you ever beenblocked by a man?
People be saying like if youget blocked by a man, you have
to have done something super bador something like that.
And me personally.
(11:02):
I've been blocked by many men,so I don't know what I've been
doing wrong.
I just think that people liketo block people, don't matter
your gender, I like to blockpeople too.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
That's hilarious.
You've been blocked by many men.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Many men, many men.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Many men Great, yeah, okay, okay, yeah, no, no, I
agree with that.
I feel like, as far as, likeyou mentioned, like role
switching and like kind ofwanting to be treated as a woman
(11:41):
or a man in whatever aspect,but not acting as such, and I
feel like I don't know if it waslike 19 keys who said it or
someone but basically how theenergy shifts are changing as
far as, like, women are havingto, or feeling like they have to
(12:04):
, step up and be stronger, beemotionally, physically stronger
.
You're seeing more women injobs that were traditionally
male, dominant, likeconstruction workers and auto
mechanics, and you're seeingwomen in these positions at
growing rates.
And you're seeing a lot ofstay-at-home dads or dads or
(12:28):
just men who stay at home andkind of are softer, and
everybody.
There's multiple perspectivesand opinions with everything,
but there are people who believethat the energy is shifting and
not for the betterment of kindof our societies.
So I think that's aninteresting is an interesting
(12:54):
concept, and I can see how thatwould happen because,
unfortunately for a lot of us, Ifeel like, especially my
generation and the generationbefore me, parents weren't
emotionally intelligent and soraised children who were
confused and raised children whowere entitled, even though you
(13:16):
didn't have to be born with asilver spoon, as they say, be
born in wealth and whatnot, tofeel that entitlement anymore.
It's not just the rich anymorewho feel entitled, it's the
whoever, it's the Tom JamesWhitney's, anybody, it's like.
No, this is what I want and Ideserve and I should have this.
So, yeah, okay.
(13:39):
Next question, it's 1111.
I always like to note that Ifsomeone wanted to approach the
opposite sex, then you find manor woman, you find someone
attractive and you wannaapproach them.
What advice would you give themto initiate contact?
Do what you gotta do bro whatyou mean, what if they're
(14:03):
nervous?
What if they're afraid ofrejection?
Then you better stop it.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Don't talk to people.
I feel like if you are nervousor anything like that and you're
afraid of rejection, somethingis going on deeper than that.
You lack confidence, lowself-esteem.
Let me tell you something Idon't get nervous and I'm not
saying you're saying I'm beyondsaying nothing.
But if I want it, I'll want it.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Okay.
So how would you initiatecontact?
Say you saw somebody, say youand your girls was at a little
lounge or something you sawdoing.
You was like hmm, I'm going upto them.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
What's up with you?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
You're gonna walk up to them.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
You're gonna do that little hand roll?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
thing.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
No, no, no, I don't do that in front of dudes for
real With my head.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I be doing it.
It's all in the eyes, though.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
You gotta think about what you want, okay, and I
won't choose.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
So you gonna see you in my eyes and that's what's
gonna get them.
They're gonna be like oh man.
So you just walk up to them.
Many times, I've done that manytimes.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
So what if they be like ah nah show up Never
happened.
Oh, okay, oh, excuse me.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I'm not saying I'm beyond saying nothing.
I'm just saying when you greetyourself and you show you come
off as confident and reassuredand kinda like, hey, what's up
with everybody, okay, theyautomatically be like, well,
what's up with you?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Do you also slide in the DM?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Oh for surely that is hilarious.
I'm on there I'm like why don'tI rise?
You look good.
Okay, I like the way you laugh.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
So this is the compliment you throw.
Yes, okay, so that's one tip.
Compliment the person.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Compliment him Okay, you look so good today.
It worked every time.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
It's from my daughter .
It's crazy.
My mom seen it first in.
I slept on this new story.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
And I was like you look good.
He talking about somethingYou've been opposed to be my
girlfriend.
I did?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
She did it in my face and I was like wait, what it
worked every time no-transcript.
The dude initiates this contact.
I'm not coming up to you, nomatter what.
I'm sorry, I don't know.
I just flat out say it.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
You look good.
Okay, you look great, great, or.
I'll be like why are yourecording this video?
I should be recording it.
Oh, okay, I'm narrow-witchingDay.
Day Next.
You know I'm getting invited,I'm dead.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Okay, okay, so with that then.
So, since you feel like youknow, just do it, man or woman
or other identifier.
Hey, what about proposals?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Oh no, I told you, I believe in gender roles.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Sometimes I'm proposing so, man, that's his
job.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, big bro.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Okay, you would never drop that knee.
I ain't dropping, no knee.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Okay, I might stand up.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
So you might propose.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
We could stand up.
No, no, no, he gonna proposefirst.
But I feel like dudes deserve alittle.
You know what I'm sayingsomething, something Like oh,
you proposed to me, it's all.
I'll be feeling likerelationships are always about
the woman, like I don't.
I think that's why a lot ofdudes don't care to be in
relationships, because the womangets all the everything.
(17:24):
She gets the yeah, like theballoons in the hotel room.
And she get gifts onValentine's Day and she get
proposed to and then thewedding's usually about her and
all he get is a bachelor party,and she get a bridal party and
then a disc party and then thebaby shower, and then it's like
bro, what about the dudes?
Bro, like spice up a little bit.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I ain't gonna.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
you don't want a knee for them.
I'm like I got you a ring too,babe, you're so stupid.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
No, I agree.
I think that men should becelebrated more.
I totally agree with that.
I feel like the wordvulnerability has been coming up
a lot in this book I'm readingor listening to.
It's an audible called Platonic.
These classes I'm taking forcoaching and just vulnerability,
(18:11):
vulnerability, vulnerability,it's just coming up a lot, and
the fact that men are slowlycoming into, you know the that
space, I oh wait, I can bevulnerable without looking like
a be-ah, you know, or lookinglike a wuss or whatever, or what
you know, without getting torndown by my friends or my female
(18:36):
or whatever.
And so, yeah, I feel likecelebration of the male energy
is necessary and it is important.
So I definitely agree with that.
I think that's a great point.
Okay, next question what do youthink makes a successful
(18:57):
relationship?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I've never really had one, so but what I can, you
know, think communication is key.
You have to be able tocommunicate and communication I
think honestly, in my opinion,you can, as long as you have
communication, it's gonna besuccessful.
Because if you communicate aboutwhat you need, what you don't
(19:22):
like, what you want and this,like a lot of people, I think,
feel like communicating is likethis oh, we talk, like I feel
like communication is isn't justover having a conversation,
it's actually understanding andlike empathizing and trying to
like create common ground.
(19:42):
Because obviously I thinkthat's where I've went wrong a
lot of the times in mysituations is that I had this
like oh well, if you can't giveme what I want, then I'ma just
leave, instead of saying, well,dang, like maybe I'm not giving
you what you want either,because I'm so focused on what I
(20:02):
want that we're not giving foreach other.
And as much as you may thinkthat like, oh, I'm a great
person, I'm a great partner tohave, you know, I've done a lot
of self reflection I'm not.
Yeah, somebody told me I'm justlike my dad and that I like to
just buy people, and I thinkthat is very much true, not no,
moto.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, somebody told you did, they know your dad.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
How do they say that?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Is that your interpretation?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
No, no, no.
They said that I act like mydad.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Did they know your dad?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Oh, that's what you're saying oh no, like I
would explain you know how.
Like when you talk to peopleabout like things that go into
your life and like oh, they mademe feel like X, y and Z.
At this person turn around, Iwas like oh, you make me feel
that same exact way that yourdad makes you feel.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Was that like a uh-huh epiphany?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
type moment.
It was definitely a slap in theface.
It felt like, because I feellike that's the not anymore.
Let me not say that, but itused to be a very big offense
when people would say that Ireminded them of my dad or that
you know, oh, you act just likeyour dad.
It would be like, why would yousay that?
But now, like, I don't takeoffense to it, obviously, we've
(21:14):
talked many times that youbecome people you don't want to
be like, because you're sofocused on what not to be that
you end up being that?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yeah, that's true.
I've never gotten told that ina relationship, but a family
member did tell me that when Igot upset.
I reminded them of my dad.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
And that was an epiphany moment for me.
I changed a lot, or I startedto try to change, without
acknowledging the appropriatetools required for change of
self.
So, yeah, that's important toreflect when somebody brings you
(22:02):
something, don't maybe try notto automatically get offended,
because there definitely couldbe some truth in that and some
growth opportunity for you.
So, okay, next question howlong do you think the dating or
talking phase should last?
(22:23):
And I think, because we talkedabout this in a previous episode
, like, I think, for yourgeneration, right, dating and
talking is different.
Okay, so maybe you can provideperspective on each one of them.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah, we kind of did In a previous episode, kind of
touched on it.
But dating is okay.
We're going out in public now,like now we're being seen by
other people.
It's a little gray because youcould be talking to other people
(22:56):
and talking is just the act ofgetting to know one another.
You guys might FaceTime, youguys might text, you know DM or
something, but you guys don'treally hang out like we're
talking.
It's completely different thandating, because dating you
finally go outside the talkingstage.
I only need like two months oftalking, okay, one to two months
(23:22):
, and then I know if I want tostart going outside with you.
If we make it to that outsidestage, you got three months, bro
, three months of dating, likegoing outside, seeing each other
, being around other people.
After that three months, ifwe're not together, bro, we
probably would never be togetherbecause now I'm bored.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh yeah, that's pretty short yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
No, that's not.
That's like six months almostOkay, that's short.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
No, I don't know.
I mean, I guess I never thoughtabout how long I feel like it
should last, but that just feelsshort.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
I feel like you know We've been dating for three
months I know and we're togethernow.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
No, we've been talking for one to two months.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Two months really.
Okay, and then we're dating forthree months, that's five
months, that's sixth month.
If you don't see nothing withme or we're not progressing
towards you know, oh, now we'regonna be exclusive.
We're only gonna get to knoweach other, or if that
conversation never even happens,it's raps.
I'm already thinking about thenext thing.
(24:29):
Okay, you lost me.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Let me go Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
So dating, so talking , then dating then official no
exclusive.
Exclusive.
Yeah, then official.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Then official?
Oh my God.
Exclusive means that there isno one else, it is just me and
you, and you have to have thatconversation.
You have to have it.
You have to sit there and lookat each other and say we not
talking to nobody else, right?
We not yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
make that agreement?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yep yes, once that agreement is made, now you're
exclusive.
Now it's like, okay, if I getembarrassed I can key your car,
oh.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Please don't key anyone's car I'm gonna do it.
Okay, maybe not.
Just you know, maybe talk aboutit no because we just had to
talk.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
That's it.
That one conversation is all weneed.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
That's irrational anger.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
It's not irrational anger.
You just embarrassed me.
See, there's a difference,though Embarrassment can only
come if you do it in the public.
What's?
The public knows that youcheated on me and you've been
messing around on me.
Oh, it's over with.
Oh, my God yeah if I find outyou cheated on the low, all
right, let me go.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Okay, I'm gonna leave Gotcha Publicly.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
I gotta do something public.
Maybe just put some Vaseline onthe windows.
Don't key the car.
What?
Rip his windshield wipers off.
Okay, so question them Duringthe period of exclusivity If
they talked or if they, ifsomeone else is in the picture,
(26:05):
that's cheating.
Yes, but you're not official.
But we're exclusive.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
We're together, like, okay, you my man, but you're
not my man, like it makes it.
It's very difficult.
I don't know why it's this way,but this is just how life is
right now.
Okay, okay, okay, if we'reexclusive, that means that, hey,
you know what?
It's almost like a trial.
It's like a seven day trialperiod.
We're going to see if we couldreally be like boyfriend and
(26:31):
girlfriend.
Okay, because once you goboyfriend and girlfriend now
it's not just over being seenout in public.
No, now we're a unit.
And now I'm probably going topost your Instagram.
I'm probably going, you know,you probably going to really
like meet my family for real,for real, like that exclusives.
You remember when I wasexclusive with you met him,
(26:51):
right, I don't know whathappened.
He ain't like the trial, Iguess he didn't like me Like the
trial.
Yeah, but it just makes it.
I guess it's complicated.
Yeah, it's complicated.
It's like we trying to see ifit worked.
But if it do, it do, then we dotogether for roof rule.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
So two months in the talking phase, three months in
the dating phase, how long inthe exclusive phase?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
You know I spend a lot of time in that phase myself
.
Oh, jaila would have said hey,take out of a long unique Jaila
now.
No, honey, it's already like wealready six months in, if by
that one year mark of like theentire system.
So I guess maybe six months ofus like being exclusive If
(27:41):
there's nothing, there's noofficialness, after that one
year.
I don't want to do this anymore.
Maybe we, we just it's notgoing to work, but I feel like
you're being exclusive for solong.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
And now you're just acting like a girlfriend without
being a girlfriend, so now it'stime to go.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
That's where the lines get blurred.
Yep, one year, okay.
Because then there's that, thatnext step, step right where
it's like from girlfriend towife, if that's you know what
happens.
Cause I've been seeing so manyvideos and clips about
relationships and there was thisI guess it's this couple, maybe
(28:22):
some kind of a therapy sessionmaybe and the guy was like you
know, my complaints are shedoesn't.
You know, she doesn't cook, shedoesn't clean.
You know what kind of woman isthat?
And she was like you'reexpecting wife.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Out of me and I'm I'm still a girlfriend and you know
I'm not going to do that.
Like, my title is girlfriend,so I'll cook sometimes and I'll
clean sometimes, but I'm notyour wife and so, like, who do
you think is wrong in thatsituation?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Bruh as a woman, as a woman.
This is why I say I I totallysupport and back some gender
roles, because, as a woman, youcook and you clean, sometimes
like bro, do you eat?
Like when do you eat, bro?
Like that's, that's, I don'tknow Always feel like.
(29:21):
That's why, when you'reexclusive with someone, you, you
, you're, how do I know?
Like what, if I marry you andyou can't cook and I can't
either, and now we both eat?
Now all the time, and now we'vegot another bill.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Bro yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
And so if I live with you, how do I?
I need to see your like your,your cleanliness.
I'm not going to marry someonethat's dirty and and don't know
how to properly vacuum or that's.
That's what being a girlfriendreally sort of kind of is a
girlfriend or boyfriend is atrial to see if I want to be
with you the rest of my life.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
For sure, for sure.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
So cooking and cleaning is an everyday human
essential.
It's a need.
We need to cook and we need toclean.
And you telling me that I gotto marry you for you to cook and
clean.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
But can't he cook and clean too?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Oh, for sure, but that wasn't what the video was
saying, or that's not what yousaid.
What you said was that she'snot cooking and cleaning.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
She doesn't.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
She doesn't, which means someone is.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, which.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Which means that he probably is cooking.
Hopefully somebody, hopefullySomeone is.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
And it also wasn't clear if they lived together or
not.
I think that makes a difference, right?
Yeah, so if you're a girlfriendand y'all just be spending
weekends or nights or somethingat each other's houses on and
off, no, it's not, it's.
I feel like it's the person'sresponsibility, the visitor, I
guess their responsibility toclean up behind themselves.
But are you going to expect meto clean up at your house and I
(30:54):
don't live here?
Like, maybe I'll come back, oh,I'll cook us breakfast, you
know, and I'm at your house orwhatever.
But Like, what else do you wantfrom me?
We don't live together.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
I don't know, I might have to disagree Simply because
I didn't live with my pastsituation, but it was like I
knew how busy he could get andhow busy his schedule could get.
And I think, vice versa, heknew that, like I would be at
(31:28):
work, I'd go to school, I'mdoing this and if we did go to
one another's house and I sawthat, oh, like you know, this
need to be wiped down orsomething, I'm going to just do
it real quick because we're inthis together.
Like he would come to my house,cook, clean, pick up.
You know he would help withstorms, litter sometimes, like
(31:49):
it's a, it's a expert exchange,like you know what.
You see that this wasn't done.
Okay, thanks for helping me out.
I appreciate that you knowthings.
We get busy, like, yeah, wedon't live with each other, but
you're my partner, so if I seethat you know you need a little
assistance here, I mean,obviously I'm not going to be
the only one doing it.
It's a fair exchange.
But yeah, if I see, oh man, histable need to be wiped down
(32:13):
real quick, I'm just wipe itRight, like it ain't that big of
a deal.
Now I'm not sitting here sayingI'm about to fold your clothes,
wash your clothes, do all that.
But why not?
And I don't see the what'swrong with that.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I guess maybe sometimes I don't know I mean
honestly kind of sad.
I don't know it's sad.
I've never been in thatsituation.
It's always been them coming tomy house.
I'm so sorry about everything,so I've not been in that
situation.
Well, yeah, if it was theirhouse like they lived with
(32:49):
someone, like I was younger, sothey still live with their
parents, or something like thatyou always been a shelter.
Oh man Gosh, Now I don't evenknow how to come back from that.
Okay, hold on, Pause and rewindeverybody.
(33:11):
That's kind of a mess.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
No, you're not.
Anyways, if I were in thatsituation, I think maybe
sometimes, but my first mind isto look at it and say, dang, you
dirty.
You should clean up afteryourself, because if you come to
my house, it's going to alreadybe clean.
(33:37):
Because even if I don't, I'mnot going to say I clean every
day, every single minute, everysingle hour.
However, when I know that Ihave external guests coming, I
clean up, I'm going to make surethat I'm clean, so that for me
is like nah, you should betaking care of your stuff.
Yeah, life happens.
But if I know that somebody'scoming to my house, I'm going to
(33:59):
make sure it's clean.
So I expect the same thing fromsomeone I'm going to visit
clean up your stuff.
Because then that makes me feellike do you care about your
appearance if you're allowing meto come over and you got a sink
full of dishes and you gotcrumbs and stuff all on the
floor Like do you care?
(34:19):
I mean, maybe you're busy thatday.
I'm not going to just write youoff and say, oh my God, you're
what'd you call them Porter, andyou're just nasty, but I am
going to be like huh, do you gooff and you be cleaning up?
Because for me that's verysingular.
If we don't live together,that's showing me how you care
(34:40):
for your space already before wemove in, because then that
helps kind of.
I feel like that would helpmake the decision about is this
long term?
Because how do you upkeepyourself as an individual?
Because you have to bring thoseindividualistic behaviors into
this couple.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
So but then Dang shelter.
Sorry, bro, lower sir keys,you've been a shelter on the
lowest of keys.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I ain't let nobody else live with me before.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I didn't.
No one lived with me.
They were there all the time.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
They were there all the time, you're right.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
I walked in my house and they had one of my blankets.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
This is my house.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Get out Please.
Trumb alert.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I'm sorry, don't be sorry, it's what I did man.
I'm sorry, I want to hug you.
What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
here man.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
What were they doing?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
They were watching TV on the couch.
I literally walked in after ahard day of school.
Are you chilling?
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Imagine like yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
It's after a hard day of work coming and seeing.
Yeah, maybe that's anotherepisode.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
You got the decision.
I remember it was a brown,green and blue cover.
I think we got it from Walmartor something.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
I think it was Stripes or something.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
It was like a weird pattern, maybe diamonds or
something like that.
I'm like wow.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
That's my cover.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
You went in there and grabbed anything you seen.
You got Leo Big.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
You're a one cup.
You're a one cup Just.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
How you make Kool-Aid for yourself.
You made Kool-Aid.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
And not the pre-mixed one.
The big pack that was alreadysweetened, the little packs made
a single little pack and somesugar in one cup Made Kool-Aid
For himself, Naturally peoplemake the pitcher right For the
(37:11):
house.
Sir made one single cup.
One cup man.
You know there's a blessing inevery lesson.
I made some mistakes, you know.
You look back on them, exes,and be like what, why Let them
go?
I mean, there's nothing I coulddo to change it, it happened,
(37:34):
it's in the past and you moveforward.
So but to the cleaning, to what?
I said about individualisticand all that, you had a response
, I think.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Sorry, the shoulder thing threw me off.
Sorry, but no, for sure, forsure, but I feel like that's not
an accurate representation ofwho you are, though.
Either, though, because, say,I'm not going to sit here and
say my house is clean everysingle second of the day, or,
you know what, Our standards ofclean do not match a lot of
(38:12):
people's.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
No no.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
So right now I would say my room is dirty Because
there's stuff that is out onlike you give them sin, like
it's not organized.
It's kind of like there'slittle stuff all over my desk,
there's little stuff all overthere and it's just like this is
not clean, but somebody elsewalking here they be like your
(38:36):
room is clean.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (38:38):
And I'm like.
You see what I'm saying.
So it's like if you don't seeme every day and the only time
you do see me is when my room issuper clean you're going to
expect my room to be super cleanall the time I know you like
yeah, no, that could be aninaccurate representation of
self.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
That's true.
I mean, yes, that is true, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Like I said, it would just be a chip in the file, it
wouldn't just be the determiningfactor but it would be
something I would not put yourbusiness out there and nothing
like that, but you know hepretty untidy sometimes.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
So, hey, you love him .
This is correct.
I do, it's true.
Maybe if I would have saw hisroom, anyway, shelter You're
going to get your life together.
I'm going to find a name for you.
You just hold on.
We're going to move on to thenext question.
(39:40):
Okay, so we talked aboutrelationships and official the
five or four, whatever phases oftoday's relationships.
So, ending relationships whatare some tips that you would,
would give the listeners and thepeople?
(40:01):
So have you even given yourfriends to end a relationship
going bad?
Let it go.
How not just do it, tell them.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Tell them Say, look, it ain't working.
You know me, I like to be niceto people.
You know, when I'm done withyou actually not when I'm done
with you when, when I'm donewith how you've been acting,
I'll tell you like, look, Irespect like what you got going
on in your life.
You know you got to be veryrespectful because these days
(40:32):
people try to kill you if youleave.
So you got to be nice.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
No I do?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
You got to be nice, you got to be like look,
understand, you got a lot ofstuff going on.
You know what I'm saying.
Maybe this ain't the right timefor us because you know, I feel
like my needs aren't being metand you know, and I feel like
that gives someone a chance tolike oh, it opens the door, kind
of of like let's have aconversation about it, or they
could just hit you with the okayand it's over.
But it's like at least I gaveyou the chance to have closure
(41:02):
by saying why I'm not a big fanof that whole ghosting thing.
That's only if I just don'tlike you for real.
And we were in a talking stage.
Why do we need closure?
We was just talking, yeah, butexplaining like this is why it's
not working.
And I understand and I respectthat.
You got a lot going on.
With that being said, I'm notgetting X, y and Z, so I think
(41:25):
we're done Okay.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
So just have a an open, honest conversation with
the person you don't have to bea conversation.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Have an open, honest statement that could lead to a
conversation, okay, but youshouldn't expect a conversation,
okay.
Some people think like they'reowed, like, oh, I need closure.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Like why did you leave me?
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Well, I told you why.
You didn't want to talk aboutit afterwards, and now I'm not
giving you what I offered you atthat time.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
So what if a person because I've, I've been guilty
of, like, withholdinginformation, so if something
like not, I have grown, I havechanged, but in order to not, or
to avoid conflict or to notseem like a nag, I won't bring
everything up, and then it'llbuild, and it'll build, and
(42:17):
it'll build, and then, threemonths down the line, of course,
there's an explosion right andit's like, at that point, the
person is like where did thiscome from?
You didn't tell me that you hada problem with this, while, of
a sudden, is it at this criticalpoint where it's like you want,
to you want to end therelationship, Sorry.
(42:44):
So what do you do?
Like, what about that?
Because then it's like I needclosure because you never told
me anything.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah, but I mean that's where if yeah, you never
gave it a fair shot, like that'snot fair.
Because if you've been feelingsome type of way the heck you
get me If you've been feelingsome type of way about things
(43:13):
that are obviously going to leadto you getting fed up and
wanting to be done, you shouldhave said something about it.
Then.
Don't say nothing about it now,because I didn't know, and you
know what that person that youleft and you did that to they
won.
That's what I would tell them.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Okay, you dodged the bullet honey, what?
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Probably Because you can't even see her and tell me
what I'm doing wrong.
Like me and my friends havethis conversation now, Like if I
did something that made youfeel a type of way you need to
tell me in this moment.
Do not tell me two months fromnow because, guess what, I'm not
gonna respect it and I'm notgonna listen to it.
Because if I'm not like, forexample, right If I picked my
(44:02):
nose today and I picked my noseagain, but then six months later
you'd be like this one time youpicked your nose and it really
made me mad I'm gonna be likegirl when I picked my nose in
six months.
Now you're lying, you give me asaying.
It's like bringing up in thatmoment.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Yeah, yeah, no, that's for sure, and that's
definitely me.
Now I'm just.
I said I've been guilty of, butthen so do does that person,
because I've seen people likeriddled with grief because they
don't get closure.
So in that situation it's likethey're demanding closure
(44:40):
because it came out of leftfield, they didn't know what was
going on.
And then this person is like Idon't wanna talk about it
because I've let it boil to thispoint of no return.
And then they're like depressedand in grief because they've
lost this relationship thatmeant so much to them and they
were blindsided.
So, like, what do you even dowith that?
(45:02):
Go get you some therapy.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
They're right, it's just a therapy, because there's
something deeper than that,because, let me tell you
something, if somebody leavesyou and they don't wanna be with
you, why is it that weautomatically think?
We're the problem Like thisperson couldn't communicate,
this person couldn't understandand see how much you were trying
to make it work.
(45:25):
So if anything you dodged abullet, let it go.
It might be easier said thandone, but what are we gonna do?
Dwell on it all our life.
Let that thing go and go getyou some help.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
That's true.
That could be like anattachment thing, Like if you
have trouble letting go ofthings and moving on from people
, you need to definitely look atthe kind of attachment you have
in the wise and, as you said,get some therapy.
Okay.
So next question we are at our.
(45:59):
We had a few sub questions, butwe have three more questions to
go.
How many X's are too many?
And when we say X's, these areofficial relationships, not
talking, not dating, I guess noteven exclusive, but that's
great.
So what would you say?
Say you're in your early 20sand the number, like a guy, was
(46:21):
like, oh, I've been in this manyrelationships.
What number is gonna make yousay God?
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Okay, yes, it has a lot to do with your age.
If you were in your early 20syounger than 25, and you've had
more than five relationships,I'm scared of you because at
this point you're just datinganybody More than five.
More than five, so at aboutyour age 22.
25, by 22,.
(46:50):
If you have more than likethree, I'm kind of questioning
you because I will.
It starts about when you aredating.
Like I'll say your first real,I'll count 16.
So from 16 to 22, that's what's.
How many years?
Is that Six, six years, right?
(47:10):
In six years you got to knowand become super comfortable
with five different people.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
In less than a year, because that's like a person a
year.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yes, a year and a month or something.
Every year you had a new person.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
I'm confused.
Or it was like oh, me and herdated for three months and then
we wasn't together no more, andthen I found somebody else.
I'm just like that's too many.
I feel like you're a serialcheater or a serial dator or
something's wrong with you.
You might be two steps awayfrom serial killer, but that's a
(47:53):
lot.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Okay, so with that.
Then, if somebody says so, itwas still talking about early
20s and dating.
So if somebody says that theyhave had, so they say they have
had five relationships, how longdo you think or how long is
(48:21):
long enough in betweenrelationships, like official
relationships, do you think, inyour opinion, is should you take
a break and like before youmove on to someone else?
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Yeah, I was just talking about this with Aliyah.
We were looking up how long ittakes to get over someone.
Hey, aliyah.
Speaker 3 (48:45):
I'm weak.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
How long it takes to get over someone, and I think we
said like like a couple, likeseven months or something like
that.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Six to what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (48:55):
it Six to seven an article.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
Like a little thing we was looking up.
Okay, it takes like six toseven months, I think, for you
to genuinely get over arelationship.
And then it said it takes sevenyears for you to forget them.
Oh yeah, I remember you weretelling me about this and I was
like golly, and I'm not sayingyou're saying that, oh, you
needed six months on the dotbecause I checked out of a
(49:20):
relationship or a situationmonths before we actually ended
it.
So my six months been having Iwas out of it once we said we
done.
I was like, oh, God bless, youknow what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
I just feel like as long as you sit in you process
and you go through what you needto go through before you go and
just hop into someone else,cause a lot of people have that
ideology that oh, to get overthis person, I just got to get
under someone else.
That ain't gonna work, baby.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
So with that, though, that brings up an interesting
thought, like, if you're sayingthat you were checked out of a
relationship months before itended, do you really think
that's where your clock started?
Because what in you allowed youto check out of something but
not physically check out of it?
You don't think that'ssomething that needs to be
considered.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Oh, no for sure.
That's why I think it's up tothe individual.
Like me personally, that wasn'tenough time, I think, like I'm
still kind of some days I stillprocess it and whatnot, but for
some situations I don't carewhen we done talking.
(50:34):
We done talking Cause it wasnever a foundation that was
built between us.
It was just whatever you justanother dude.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Okay, so from exes to sexes, what body count?
Speaker 3 (50:53):
is too high.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
What's the first off?
Speaker 3 (50:55):
what's the?
Speaker 1 (50:55):
highest body count.
You've heard somebody likeshare and then what number is
crazy by your age, with you knowlet's say 25 and.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
I know somebody who don't even know they body count.
Somebody said they don't even,they wouldn't even be able to
tell me.
Because it was days that theywere having sex three to four
times with different people.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
And that in itself is crazy to me.
Because, it's like do youbelieve in, like spiritual, like
your energies?
Like exchanging and stuff andthey're like no, and I'm like,
and that's why you are where youare, yeah.
You're sick and you're confused.
Realistically, though, causethat's not gonna be every case
or a number my age, I'm 22.
(51:45):
For a man, if he says anythingover 10, I kind of second guess.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Pause, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Once he says like 20, anything over 15, I'm not even
gonna like touch you.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Yeah, yeah, that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
You know, my first like.
Well, my first and onlyboyfriend told me like he has 17
bodies.
Right, I'm notえ kid.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
That's crazy yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
We didn't tell me that till later, so yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
Okay, that's a lot.
Okay.
So what do you think?
Because you know what they say.
Well, I don't know if you knowwhat they say, but I've always
heard that when a man tells youhow many bodies he's had, you
like subtract, you know somenumber because they say men tend
(52:49):
to exaggerate.
And then if a woman tells youhow many, you know, it's a pie
or buy two or something likethat.
Speaker 2 (52:55):
I had three a phone.
Yeah, no, I know some peopleOkay, I believe in that somewhat
because I know some females.
They be like, oh, I have three,it's like their favorite number
, and then it make everybodyelse be like, oh, I really got
three, like I'm not.
I don't know what makes you.
How can I tell you how to tellthe truth?
Yeah, I know some females thatBe out here and lie About here
(53:18):
capping.
I'm like, bro, wasn't you justfor Jimmy yesterday?
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Little liar.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
But, dudes, probably, they probably be capping, they
probably be capping Everybodyprobably be capping.
Everybody, I wish we could haveit like on our foreheads.
No, oh, okay, never mind.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
Maybe in our pocket, no Like on our hip.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
On our forehead, though, but only the people that
we want to have sex with.
Go see it.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
No on our hip, cause that mean, I'm getting, I'm
getting undressed.
So then you can really see.
Speaker 2 (53:50):
No, like, only like, it don't just show to everybody.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
Like your mama.
Don't see the.
I keep what you say Only peopleyou want to have sex with.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
Like y'all got to agree to share your numbers.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
Then it show up on your forehead.
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
That'll keep people honest though.
Hey, keep you honest and keepyou safe.
Speaker 1 (54:07):
So do you feel like that number, like like if some
guy like you meet, you meet, younot meet, you get to the
exclusive phase and they likehow many people have you been
with?
Speaker 2 (54:18):
Oh, I'm knowing that from the jump Ain't no exclusive
Huh.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
Oh, you're not waiting to the exclusive.
I'm finding out that out.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
I'm finding that out soon.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
So you want that information from the jump.
Speaker 2 (54:29):
I don't you know what .
I don't want it, but like Iwant to know if you'll tell me.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:35):
Okay, so do you feel like that should be shared?
Speaker 2 (54:38):
Like no Cause.
Now I'm going to think everytime we walk past a female and
be like she probably wanted a 23.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
That's too many, so that's so, just so, if the
person says, yeah, I'll tell you, do you want to know?
You'll be like, okay, no, Ijust wanted to know if you will
tell me.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
No, I don't even ask, like if it just comes up.
They like, hey, okay, if theylike, how many bodies you got?
I'm like oh, x, y and Z.
And they like, oh, yeah, me too, I'm like okay.
Speaker 1 (55:10):
So you don't believe them anyway, yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
But like, if it comes up like oh, how many bodies you
got, they got to be the one toinitiate it, because, I want to
know if they, if like what theygot going on too.
But if it never comes up, thatmeans it's probably something I
don't want to know.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
Okay.
Do you feel like that mattersin a relationship, like the
number of people you slept withyou, not you being a general?
No.
Speaker 2 (55:33):
Anybody.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
No, no Okay.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
Not in test results.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
Yeah, oh, for sure.
Speaker 2 (55:38):
I need to see them.
Speaker 1 (55:39):
The test results matter.
Yeah, I feel like too.
I mean, there may be othertellers in your personality,
right, but if if someone istruly authentic and honest with
their answer and they do sayit's been 15 people, then I feel
like that tells you somethingabout them.
Like someone would see that asa very flag.
(56:00):
You just hopping around frombed to bed and really don't care
about connection.
So do I really want toentertain?
Speaker 2 (56:05):
you.
Yes, I know, okay, people haveone nightstands all the time.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
I find that wild.
I don't Okay.
So I don't even know if that'sactually a question, so I've
never, I wouldn't share with youanyway.
But I have nothing to sharebecause I've never had a one
nightstand.
I feel like that's crazy.
Like how can you go and be likeI just met you and I'm about to
(56:34):
go and sleep with you, Like Idon't know you?
Speaker 2 (56:36):
Maybe they look too good.
Speaker 1 (56:38):
No, that's not, I would have one with Drake.
Speaker 2 (56:41):
We ain't talking about Drake.
Well, that means I would haveone, though.
Speaker 1 (56:45):
Okay, I would have one with Drake.
Okay, I mean, it's true.
I mean you probably feel likeyou know Drake a little bit,
like I know your son.
Speaker 3 (56:51):
I know your mama name you probably feel like you know
, drake a little bit.
Speaker 1 (56:55):
But you just randomly meet this person you've never
seen in your life and you gohome with them.
Like that to me is just like amind blown, Like I'm just I
don't know, I just don't I can'tput that together in my head,
but to each their own and towhoever said they don't know,
(57:17):
and three or four times in a dayeither.
They're the largest investor inthe condom business.
Are they out here cutting up?
They're out there cutting up.
That's terrible, because thisis how we get super diseases,
super gonorrhea.
Speaker 2 (57:32):
I know you got it.
Speaker 1 (57:34):
They got super STDs that no longer respond to the
initial treatments.
We can't just be out here.
Speaker 2 (57:44):
Like any of the females.
Stop having sex with everybody,because my homeboys be sending
me pictures.
Speaker 1 (57:48):
Oh, not a damn, oh God pictures.
Speaker 2 (57:53):
One of my homeboys sent a picture of this girl
pants that she left because shelike bled, like I guess she got
on her period, and he sent it tothe group chat.
It was like just nasty, I seehow they'd be out here.
Yeah, that right there Both.
Speaker 1 (58:09):
You shouldn't be sending pictures to the group
chat.
Speaker 3 (58:11):
Why are you leaving?
Speaker 1 (58:11):
People like that and you shouldn't be hopping bad
hopping and leaving your pantswhy do you leave them your?
Period was on and you was going.
What?
Speaker 2 (58:22):
Technically speaking, what he said was but that's a
little X rated, so please don'tNothing.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Yeah, Um crazy.
Get your whole life together,please, Um okay.
So last question what doesplaying hard to get look like?
Speaker 2 (58:41):
Annoying Bro.
You're doing too much.
Do you want me or not?
Stop playing games.
Speaker 1 (58:48):
What does that look like, though?
Do you do you so?
Do you feel like people trulyplay hard to get yes, okay, why
do you feel that way?
Do you have you, do you?
Speaker 2 (58:58):
do that?
I don't think so.
Some men might say that, butit's just that I don't want you.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (59:04):
Yeah, like they beat some up, you're playing hard to
get.
No, no, no, no, no.
I don't want you.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
But see if you're engaging in conversation.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
You're my friend.
Speaker 3 (59:14):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (59:14):
I will tell a man like I do want you Okay.
Speaker 3 (59:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (59:19):
I mean obviously playing hard to like some people
.
Be like oh my God, you don'ttext me back fast enough and I
barely see you like ask me on adate, like we're grown, like if
you want to see me plansomething, yeah, so I'm not
being hard to get, I'm just havestandards.
Or some dudes be like oh my God, I've been wanting you for
seven years.
Obviously I don't want you.
Speaker 1 (59:40):
Why are you sitting around for seven years Wanting
somebody Literally stop it.
Speaker 2 (59:43):
I'm just being like oh, I'm unfortunate.
Speaker 1 (59:46):
Okay, sure, okay, so so, if you feel like so, okay,
well then, what does it looklike?
Right, it's for different from.
I just don't want you andyou're my friend and I'm not
playing hard to get.
I just don't want to be getgotten versus.
I may actually be interested,but I'm dangling a wire Like
what does that look like fory'all generation?
Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
She always text in she be boys, stop playing with
me.
Like bro, stop it.
It usually be the females thatbe thinking they playing hard to
get Like no, I'm not going tochase you, that's what they want
.
They want you to be like onyour own.
They body so bad.
Like bro, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
Like.
Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
I'm not going to beg you to see me, and like the lady
with the oysters.
Yeah, Like yeah, like I'm notdoing all that, like playing
hard to get is so childish, bro.
Like, if you want somebody, atthe end of the day, y'all just
walk.
Like I say you want somebody,go for it.
If you don't want them, leavethem alone because they will
kill you.
Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
They will or might, might, okay, well, that's all of
our questions, or my questions,for today.
Do you have any partingthoughts?
No, no be safe.
For real, please do.
Please be safe.
But thank y'all for tuning inand listening in with us today.
(01:01:13):
We hope, as usual, you enjoyedthe conversation.
Leave us a comment, leave us areview, follow our Instagram
page.
I think it's.
I should know this.
I said talk later, pod.
I think, Instagram and our again.
(01:01:34):
Every week on a Wednesday, wewill be dropping a new episode.
We've got some exciting thingscoming.
We've got some guests or aguest coming to the show to talk
about, you know, some maybeheavier, deeper conversations.
So stay tuned for that, andwe'll be doing some reviews on
(01:01:55):
some things as well.
So so stay tuned and keepletting us know the kind of
content you want to hear from usand how you're feeling about
our candid conversations.
We'd love to hear it.
We'd love to connect.
So until next time, be safe, beloved, be good to one another,
Peace.
Hello everyone, good afternoon, good morning, good
evening, depending on where youare in the world.
I welcome back to let's TalkLater.
I am your host, capri.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And I'm Jaila.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Got a little different spin every day.
Today I thought it would bereally fun to do a little
interview on our host over here,jaila, because like what do
y'all say Low-key?
She kind of thinks she's likean expert on relationships a
(00:35):
little bit.
I think she might say no, but Ithink she thinks she knows some
stuff.
So we're going to ask somequestions today about
relationship advice to MissJaila.
How do you feel about that?
It's not a surprise.
I told you this was good.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I do not think I am a relationship expert.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So what do you call it?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I'm a relationship guru.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Oh, she's a guru Excuse me, the relationship guru
.
Today, people will be answeringsome questions and giving her
perspective on the dating scene,so I have some questions for
her, and these questions areprompt questions and it's
usually going to lead us intosome discussion.
(01:26):
I want to start off actuallyit's kind of like perfect time,
honestly with the topic of todayof 2023 relationships, I guess,
if you will.
I saw this video on Instagramand it was this girl.
Supposedly this guy had beenlike for two weeks.
He'd been like texting her andtalking to himself.
(01:48):
She never responded to him.
She didn't block him forwhatever, who knows why.
And so he texted her one dayand he was like hey, let's you
know, can we meet for drinks?
She was bored, she had time,and so she had a meter at this
oyster spot in Atlanta and shesaid they so good, the oysters
are the bomb.
And so supposedly they met up.
In the video she never shows hisface or his hand, arm, foot,
(02:12):
shoe, nothing.
So I'm suspicious if it wasjust for content or not.
But hey, and she orders likefour platters of oysters and
some potatoes and some crabcakes, thinking she about to,
you know, win a meal for thefree.
I guess she was like you know,I don't care.
You know she basically has nointerest in this dude.
Obviously she ain't beenresponding to any of his
(02:35):
messages, but she thought shewas going to get a free meal.
And then she says, after sheslurps 30,000 times, I'm sorry,
I have like a auditory thing.
She said he went to thebathroom and then left, like he
skipped the bill and she had topay the bill herself and then
(02:56):
she had texted him.
She was like, wow, skipping outon the tab is crazy.
And he was like I invited youfor drinks.
I didn't expect you to orderall that food.
I'll cash out for you for thefood.
I'll cash out for you for thedrinks.
And she upset what are you like?
What's your reaction to that?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Have you seen it first of all?
No, I've not seen that.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, what's your reaction to that?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Oh, women are weird, that is so weird.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Why Like, say more like?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
that's so weird because if the shoe is on the
other foot and a man first ofall, first of all you talk to
yourself.
I'm not going out nowhere withyou if I'm talking to myself,
I'm not even going to talk tomyself After you don't respond
to.
The first one is raps.
I might unsend the message.
I'm going to delete it so Idon't feel embarrassed.
But then I invite you out fordrinks and you think that I'm
(03:49):
finna, like just automaticallyjust care this bill Like sort of
you ate autumn nasty oysters.
Pay that bill, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
No, I agree that was that should even like them.
No, so I'm definitely notpaying for nothing.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
He ain't getting no koochie, neither.
No, he left Exactly, he knew hedidn't want that.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That's just like I don't know if it's just social
media or the things I see, but Ifeel like the way people date,
it's just or not even day, justthe way the eyes are, just the
way the opposite sexes engagewith one another, it's just so
(04:34):
different than I don't know.
I guess, when I was dating,like it's like spin on me, you
know, run up, run up, run up, acheck, you know, like I'm trying
to get the bag, like it's allabout what you can do for
somebody else.
That's what.
That's how I perceive it, likewhat can you do for me?
Like there was another videowhere this girl was going off on
(04:55):
social media because dudewouldn't cut her state.
She said you invited me todinner, cut my steak.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Like what's that word ?
Mom Entitlement?
Yes, yeah, this generation,everyone feels entitled to
luxuries they can't even affordthemselves, like men feel not
every not every man, but a goodchunk of men feel entitled to
goes between your legs.
(05:23):
And women feel entitled towhat's in your pockets.
Yeah, and it's almost like Imean, if you both feel this way,
okay, because I feel like ifyou ask it for you know what I'm
saying and I'm asking for somemoney because I think that women
and men operate in twodifferent currencies.
(05:44):
You know how men think oh,having a lot of females and
being a player and all thisstuff that holds a lot of value
to them to be respected andworshiped, I guess, by women.
And then women think like youknow what, I want to have all
this money because I want tohave my hair done, I want to
(06:05):
have my nails done, I want to dothis.
And if they're operating inthese currencies that have a lot
of value to them because a lotof women unfortunately feel like
they find their value in men,if they have a high value man,
then that adds value to them,not every woman, not every
situation, but a good chunk ofit.
(06:26):
So it's kind of like okay, well, I'm not sitting here cutting
nobody's steak because you agrown man, but I can't be mad
about it, like I can't be likeoh man, that's crazy because,
hey, I mean, everybody operatedin what they think is valuable.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
I definitely agree with that.
And just as far as, like, theentitlement of the man to the
guji grounds, I feel like that'salways been.
Yeah, I feel like that's thewhole.
I feel like what's new iswomen's entitlement to your
(07:08):
money.
I feel like that's new, or it'selevated, it's increased, but I
feel like dudes have alwaysfelt entitled to sex, always.
And yeah, I don't know if it'sgoing to change, but yeah, so,
yeah, I just thought thosevideos were ignorant and
(07:30):
hilarious at the same time, so Iwanted to share.
So let's jump into thequestions.
So, jaila, first question Inyour opinion, what are the top
three worst traits that you'venoticed in men and women dating
today?
Bro, I guess we've kind ofmentioned a couple of them.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah like for both of them, like shared traits or
separate traits.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Separate traits.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Okay for men.
I've been noticing a lot of menlack like.
Men want everything just kindof handed to them now.
They don't expect a lot of likepushback or a challenge.
It's kind of like just bedocile and submissive to me and
(08:19):
we're gonna be good.
This new quote, unquote era ofsassy men.
They say Like.
A lot of people are like oh,we're in the era of sassy men.
Like I wouldn't say that menare being sassy.
I think men are trying to flipthe script and now they're
trying to be like oh well, if Ihave to get you flowers, you
(08:40):
need to get me flowers too.
This is very like.
This is happening.
Yeah, so men are trying to nowflip the script.
They're trying to be whateverthat is.
Another trait that I've beennoticing is this whole new like
like situation where literallyjust some a little boy said this
(09:06):
yesterday.
He's a little boy because he'syounger to me.
He was on the phone, not me andhim, but like me and my sister,
he probably don't know who heis.
He gonna say that this onesituation made him never wanna
be loved again.
And I'd be feeling like menwhen they get hurt once it's
raps like I'm never doing thisagain and I'm gonna play every
(09:28):
female from now on because thisone woman hurt my heart and it's
like, bro, you're being sodramatic and now this one
situation has ruined 10 femalesbecause this one woman, I don't
know.
I think that could go both waystoo, because when women get
hurt, they start saying like oh,I'm gonna dog you before you
(09:50):
dog me Now.
This is another trait that I'mseeing amongst women is that
women don't wanna be womenanymore, but then they wanna get
treated like women, likethey're like super independent,
they're hyper independent.
They sit on Instagram and belike I don't need a man for
nothing.
All men ain't poop X, y and Z,but then they want a man to take
them out and cut their steakand open the car door and do all
(10:13):
this and it's like no offense.
But if you're not acting like alady, I'm not gonna treat you
like a lady, or the same otheron the other foot.
If you're acting like a man, ifyou acting like my girlfriend,
I'm gonna treat you like you'remy girlfriend.
I'm gonna open a door for younow, mm.
I believe in gender roles.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
So I've never heard of the sassy man Like does that
have anything to do withsexuality?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
No, no, no, no it's like like men, being more like
emotional, I guess.
Or like this new thing that'sgoing around on like Instagram
and stuff, is have you ever beenblocked by a man?
People be saying like if youget blocked by a man, you have
to have done something super bador something like that.
And me personally.
(11:02):
I've been blocked by many men,so I don't know what I've been
doing wrong.
I just think that people liketo block people, don't matter
your gender, I like to blockpeople too.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
That's hilarious.
You've been blocked by many men.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Many men, many men.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Many men Great, yeah, okay, okay, yeah, no, no, I
agree with that.
I feel like, as far as, likeyou mentioned, like role
switching and like kind ofwanting to be treated as a woman
(11:41):
or a man in whatever aspect,but not acting as such, and I
feel like I don't know if it waslike 19 keys who said it or
someone but basically how theenergy shifts are changing as
far as, like, women are havingto, or feeling like they have to
(12:04):
, step up and be stronger, beemotionally, physically stronger
.
You're seeing more women injobs that were traditionally
male, dominant, likeconstruction workers and auto
mechanics, and you're seeingwomen in these positions at
growing rates.
And you're seeing a lot ofstay-at-home dads or dads or
(12:28):
just men who stay at home andkind of are softer, and
everybody.
There's multiple perspectivesand opinions with everything,
but there are people who believethat the energy is shifting and
not for the betterment of kindof our societies.
So I think that's aninteresting is an interesting
(12:54):
concept, and I can see how thatwould happen because,
unfortunately for a lot of us, Ifeel like, especially my
generation and the generationbefore me, parents weren't
emotionally intelligent and soraised children who were
confused and raised children whowere entitled, even though you
(13:16):
didn't have to be born with asilver spoon, as they say, be
born in wealth and whatnot, tofeel that entitlement anymore.
It's not just the rich anymorewho feel entitled, it's the
whoever, it's the Tom JamesWhitney's, anybody, it's like.
No, this is what I want and Ideserve and I should have this.
So, yeah, okay.
(13:39):
Next question, it's 1111.
I always like to note that Ifsomeone wanted to approach the
opposite sex, then you find manor woman, you find someone
attractive and you wannaapproach them.
What advice would you give themto initiate contact?
Do what you gotta do bro whatyou mean, what if they're
(14:03):
nervous?
What if they're afraid ofrejection?
Then you better stop it.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Don't talk to people.
I feel like if you are nervousor anything like that and you're
afraid of rejection, somethingis going on deeper than that.
You lack confidence, lowself-esteem.
Let me tell you something Idon't get nervous and I'm not
saying you're saying I'm beyondsaying nothing.
But if I want it, I'll want it.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Okay.
So how would you initiatecontact?
Say you saw somebody, say youand your girls was at a little
lounge or something you sawdoing.
You was like hmm, I'm going upto them.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
What's up with you?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
You're gonna walk up to them.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
You're gonna do that little hand roll?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
thing.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
No, no, no, I don't do that in front of dudes for
real With my head.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I be doing it.
It's all in the eyes, though.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
You gotta think about what you want, okay, and I
won't choose.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
So you gonna see you in my eyes and that's what's
gonna get them.
They're gonna be like oh man.
So you just walk up to them.
Many times, I've done that manytimes.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
So what if they be like ah nah show up Never
happened.
Oh, okay, oh, excuse me.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I'm not saying I'm beyond saying nothing.
I'm just saying when you greetyourself and you show you come
off as confident and reassuredand kinda like, hey, what's up
with everybody, okay, theyautomatically be like, well,
what's up with you?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Do you also slide in the DM?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Oh for surely that is hilarious.
I'm on there I'm like why don'tI rise?
You look good.
Okay, I like the way you laugh.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
So this is the compliment you throw.
Yes, okay, so that's one tip.
Compliment the person.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Compliment him Okay, you look so good today.
It worked every time.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
It's from my daughter .
It's crazy.
My mom seen it first in.
I slept on this new story.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
And I was like you look good.
He talking about somethingYou've been opposed to be my
girlfriend.
I did?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
She did it in my face and I was like wait, what it
worked every time no-transcript.
The dude initiates this contact.
I'm not coming up to you, nomatter what.
I'm sorry, I don't know.
I just flat out say it.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
You look good.
Okay, you look great, great, or.
I'll be like why are yourecording this video?
I should be recording it.
Oh, okay, I'm narrow-witchingDay.
Day Next.
You know I'm getting invited,I'm dead.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Okay, okay, so with that then.
So, since you feel like youknow, just do it, man or woman
or other identifier.
Hey, what about proposals?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Oh no, I told you, I believe in gender roles.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Sometimes I'm proposing so, man, that's his
job.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, big bro.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Okay, you would never drop that knee.
I ain't dropping, no knee.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Okay, I might stand up.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
So you might propose.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
We could stand up.
No, no, no, he gonna proposefirst.
But I feel like dudes deserve alittle.
You know what I'm sayingsomething, something Like oh,
you proposed to me, it's all.
I'll be feeling likerelationships are always about
the woman, like I don't.
I think that's why a lot ofdudes don't care to be in
relationships, because the womangets all the everything.
(17:24):
She gets the yeah, like theballoons in the hotel room.
And she get gifts onValentine's Day and she get
proposed to and then thewedding's usually about her and
all he get is a bachelor party,and she get a bridal party and
then a disc party and then thebaby shower, and then it's like
bro, what about the dudes?
Bro, like spice up a little bit.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I ain't gonna.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
you don't want a knee for them.
I'm like I got you a ring too,babe, you're so stupid.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
No, I agree.
I think that men should becelebrated more.
I totally agree with that.
I feel like the wordvulnerability has been coming up
a lot in this book I'm readingor listening to.
It's an audible called Platonic.
These classes I'm taking forcoaching and just vulnerability,
(18:11):
vulnerability, vulnerability,it's just coming up a lot, and
the fact that men are slowlycoming into, you know the that
space, I oh wait, I can bevulnerable without looking like
a be-ah, you know, or lookinglike a wuss or whatever, or what
you know, without getting torndown by my friends or my female
(18:36):
or whatever.
And so, yeah, I feel likecelebration of the male energy
is necessary and it is important.
So I definitely agree with that.
I think that's a great point.
Okay, next question what do youthink makes a successful
(18:57):
relationship?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I've never really had one, so but what I can, you
know, think communication is key.
You have to be able tocommunicate and communication I
think honestly, in my opinion,you can, as long as you have
communication, it's gonna besuccessful.
Because if you communicate aboutwhat you need, what you don't
(19:22):
like, what you want and this,like a lot of people, I think,
feel like communicating is likethis oh, we talk, like I feel
like communication is isn't justover having a conversation,
it's actually understanding andlike empathizing and trying to
like create common ground.
(19:42):
Because obviously I thinkthat's where I've went wrong a
lot of the times in mysituations is that I had this
like oh well, if you can't giveme what I want, then I'ma just
leave, instead of saying, well,dang, like maybe I'm not giving
you what you want either,because I'm so focused on what I
(20:02):
want that we're not giving foreach other.
And as much as you may thinkthat like, oh, I'm a great
person, I'm a great partner tohave, you know, I've done a lot
of self reflection I'm not.
Yeah, somebody told me I'm justlike my dad and that I like to
just buy people, and I thinkthat is very much true, not no,
moto.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, somebody told you did, they know your dad.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
How do they say that?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Is that your interpretation?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
No, no, no.
They said that I act like mydad.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Did they know your dad?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Oh, that's what you're saying oh no, like I
would explain you know how.
Like when you talk to peopleabout like things that go into
your life and like oh, they mademe feel like X, y and Z.
At this person turn around, Iwas like oh, you make me feel
that same exact way that yourdad makes you feel.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Was that like a uh-huh epiphany?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
type moment.
It was definitely a slap in theface.
It felt like, because I feellike that's the not anymore.
Let me not say that, but itused to be a very big offense
when people would say that Ireminded them of my dad or that
you know, oh, you act just likeyour dad.
It would be like, why would yousay that?
But now, like, I don't takeoffense to it, obviously, we've
(21:14):
talked many times that youbecome people you don't want to
be like, because you're sofocused on what not to be that
you end up being that?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yeah, that's true.
I've never gotten told that ina relationship, but a family
member did tell me that when Igot upset.
I reminded them of my dad.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
And that was an epiphany moment for me.
I changed a lot, or I startedto try to change, without
acknowledging the appropriatetools required for change of
self.
So, yeah, that's important toreflect when somebody brings you
(22:02):
something, don't maybe try notto automatically get offended,
because there definitely couldbe some truth in that and some
growth opportunity for you.
So, okay, next question howlong do you think the dating or
talking phase should last?
(22:23):
And I think, because we talkedabout this in a previous episode
, like, I think, for yourgeneration, right, dating and
talking is different.
Okay, so maybe you can provideperspective on each one of them.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah, we kind of did In a previous episode, kind of
touched on it.
But dating is okay.
We're going out in public now,like now we're being seen by
other people.
It's a little gray because youcould be talking to other people
(22:56):
and talking is just the act ofgetting to know one another.
You guys might FaceTime, youguys might text, you know DM or
something, but you guys don'treally hang out like we're
talking.
It's completely different thandating, because dating you
finally go outside the talkingstage.
I only need like two months oftalking, okay, one to two months
(23:22):
, and then I know if I want tostart going outside with you.
If we make it to that outsidestage, you got three months, bro
, three months of dating, likegoing outside, seeing each other
, being around other people.
After that three months, ifwe're not together, bro, we
probably would never be togetherbecause now I'm bored.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh yeah, that's pretty short yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
No, that's not.
That's like six months almostOkay, that's short.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
No, I don't know.
I mean, I guess I never thoughtabout how long I feel like it
should last, but that just feelsshort.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
I feel like you know We've been dating for three
months I know and we're togethernow.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
No, we've been talking for one to two months.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Two months really.
Okay, and then we're dating forthree months, that's five
months, that's sixth month.
If you don't see nothing withme or we're not progressing
towards you know, oh, now we'regonna be exclusive.
We're only gonna get to knoweach other, or if that
conversation never even happens,it's raps.
I'm already thinking about thenext thing.
(24:29):
Okay, you lost me.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Let me go Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
So dating, so talking , then dating then official no
exclusive.
Exclusive.
Yeah, then official.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Then official?
Oh my God.
Exclusive means that there isno one else, it is just me and
you, and you have to have thatconversation.
You have to have it.
You have to sit there and lookat each other and say we not
talking to nobody else, right?
We not yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
make that agreement?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yep yes, once that agreement is made, now you're
exclusive.
Now it's like, okay, if I getembarrassed I can key your car,
oh.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Please don't key anyone's car I'm gonna do it.
Okay, maybe not.
Just you know, maybe talk aboutit no because we just had to
talk.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
That's it.
That one conversation is all weneed.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
That's irrational anger.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
It's not irrational anger.
You just embarrassed me.
See, there's a difference,though Embarrassment can only
come if you do it in the public.
What's?
The public knows that youcheated on me and you've been
messing around on me.
Oh, it's over with.
Oh, my God yeah if I find outyou cheated on the low, all
right, let me go.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Okay, I'm gonna leave Gotcha Publicly.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
I gotta do something public.
Maybe just put some Vaseline onthe windows.
Don't key the car.
What?
Rip his windshield wipers off.
Okay, so question them Duringthe period of exclusivity If
they talked or if they, ifsomeone else is in the picture,
(26:05):
that's cheating.
Yes, but you're not official.
But we're exclusive.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
We're together, like, okay, you my man, but you're
not my man, like it makes it.
It's very difficult.
I don't know why it's this way,but this is just how life is
right now.
Okay, okay, okay, if we'reexclusive, that means that, hey,
you know what?
It's almost like a trial.
It's like a seven day trialperiod.
We're going to see if we couldreally be like boyfriend and
(26:31):
girlfriend.
Okay, because once you goboyfriend and girlfriend now
it's not just over being seenout in public.
No, now we're a unit.
And now I'm probably going topost your Instagram.
I'm probably going, you know,you probably going to really
like meet my family for real,for real, like that exclusives.
You remember when I wasexclusive with you met him,
(26:51):
right, I don't know whathappened.
He ain't like the trial, Iguess he didn't like me Like the
trial.
Yeah, but it just makes it.
I guess it's complicated.
Yeah, it's complicated.
It's like we trying to see ifit worked.
But if it do, it do, then we dotogether for roof rule.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
So two months in the talking phase, three months in
the dating phase, how long inthe exclusive phase?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
You know I spend a lot of time in that phase myself
.
Oh, jaila would have said hey,take out of a long unique Jaila
now.
No, honey, it's already like wealready six months in, if by
that one year mark of like theentire system.
So I guess maybe six months ofus like being exclusive If
(27:41):
there's nothing, there's noofficialness, after that one
year.
I don't want to do this anymore.
Maybe we, we just it's notgoing to work, but I feel like
you're being exclusive for solong.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
And now you're just acting like a girlfriend without
being a girlfriend, so now it'stime to go.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
That's where the lines get blurred.
Yep, one year, okay.
Because then there's that, thatnext step, step right where
it's like from girlfriend towife, if that's you know what
happens.
Cause I've been seeing so manyvideos and clips about
relationships and there was thisI guess it's this couple, maybe
(28:22):
some kind of a therapy sessionmaybe and the guy was like you
know, my complaints are shedoesn't.
You know, she doesn't cook, shedoesn't clean.
You know what kind of woman isthat?
And she was like you'reexpecting wife.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Out of me and I'm I'm still a girlfriend and you know
I'm not going to do that.
Like, my title is girlfriend,so I'll cook sometimes and I'll
clean sometimes, but I'm notyour wife and so, like, who do
you think is wrong in thatsituation?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Bruh as a woman, as a woman.
This is why I say I I totallysupport and back some gender
roles, because, as a woman, youcook and you clean, sometimes
like bro, do you eat?
Like when do you eat, bro?
Like that's, that's, I don'tknow Always feel like.
(29:21):
That's why, when you'reexclusive with someone, you, you
, you're, how do I know?
Like what, if I marry you andyou can't cook and I can't
either, and now we both eat?
Now all the time, and now we'vegot another bill.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Bro yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
And so if I live with you, how do I?
I need to see your like your,your cleanliness.
I'm not going to marry someonethat's dirty and and don't know
how to properly vacuum or that's.
That's what being a girlfriendreally sort of kind of is a
girlfriend or boyfriend is atrial to see if I want to be
with you the rest of my life.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
For sure, for sure.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
So cooking and cleaning is an everyday human
essential.
It's a need.
We need to cook and we need toclean.
And you telling me that I gotto marry you for you to cook and
clean.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
But can't he cook and clean too?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Oh, for sure, but that wasn't what the video was
saying, or that's not what yousaid.
What you said was that she'snot cooking and cleaning.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
She doesn't.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
She doesn't, which means someone is.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, which.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Which means that he probably is cooking.
Hopefully somebody, hopefullySomeone is.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
And it also wasn't clear if they lived together or
not.
I think that makes a difference, right?
Yeah, so if you're a girlfriendand y'all just be spending
weekends or nights or somethingat each other's houses on and
off, no, it's not, it's.
I feel like it's the person'sresponsibility, the visitor, I
guess their responsibility toclean up behind themselves.
But are you going to expect meto clean up at your house and I
(30:54):
don't live here?
Like, maybe I'll come back, oh,I'll cook us breakfast, you
know, and I'm at your house orwhatever.
But Like, what else do you wantfrom me?
We don't live together.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
I don't know, I might have to disagree Simply because
I didn't live with my pastsituation, but it was like I
knew how busy he could get andhow busy his schedule could get.
And I think, vice versa, heknew that, like I would be at
(31:28):
work, I'd go to school, I'mdoing this and if we did go to
one another's house and I sawthat, oh, like you know, this
need to be wiped down orsomething, I'm going to just do
it real quick because we're inthis together.
Like he would come to my house,cook, clean, pick up.
You know he would help withstorms, litter sometimes, like
(31:49):
it's a, it's a expert exchange,like you know what.
You see that this wasn't done.
Okay, thanks for helping me out.
I appreciate that you knowthings.
We get busy, like, yeah, wedon't live with each other, but
you're my partner, so if I seethat you know you need a little
assistance here, I mean,obviously I'm not going to be
the only one doing it.
It's a fair exchange.
But yeah, if I see, oh man, histable need to be wiped down
(32:13):
real quick, I'm just wipe itRight, like it ain't that big of
a deal.
Now I'm not sitting here sayingI'm about to fold your clothes,
wash your clothes, do all that.
But why not?
And I don't see the what'swrong with that.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I guess maybe sometimes I don't know I mean
honestly kind of sad.
I don't know it's sad.
I've never been in thatsituation.
It's always been them coming tomy house.
I'm so sorry about everything,so I've not been in that
situation.
Well, yeah, if it was theirhouse like they lived with
(32:49):
someone, like I was younger, sothey still live with their
parents, or something like thatyou always been a shelter.
Oh man Gosh, Now I don't evenknow how to come back from that.
Okay, hold on, Pause and rewindeverybody.
(33:11):
That's kind of a mess.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
No, you're not.
Anyways, if I were in thatsituation, I think maybe
sometimes, but my first mind isto look at it and say, dang, you
dirty.
You should clean up afteryourself, because if you come to
my house, it's going to alreadybe clean.
(33:37):
Because even if I don't, I'mnot going to say I clean every
day, every single minute, everysingle hour.
However, when I know that Ihave external guests coming, I
clean up, I'm going to make surethat I'm clean, so that for me
is like nah, you should betaking care of your stuff.
Yeah, life happens.
But if I know that somebody'scoming to my house, I'm going to
(33:59):
make sure it's clean.
So I expect the same thing fromsomeone I'm going to visit
clean up your stuff.
Because then that makes me feellike do you care about your
appearance if you're allowing meto come over and you got a sink
full of dishes and you gotcrumbs and stuff all on the
floor Like do you care?
(34:19):
I mean, maybe you're busy thatday.
I'm not going to just write youoff and say, oh my God, you're
what'd you call them Porter, andyou're just nasty, but I am
going to be like huh, do you gooff and you be cleaning up?
Because for me that's verysingular.
If we don't live together,that's showing me how you care
(34:40):
for your space already before wemove in, because then that
helps kind of.
I feel like that would helpmake the decision about is this
long term?
Because how do you upkeepyourself as an individual?
Because you have to bring thoseindividualistic behaviors into
this couple.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
So but then Dang shelter.
Sorry, bro, lower sir keys,you've been a shelter on the
lowest of keys.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I ain't let nobody else live with me before.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I didn't.
No one lived with me.
They were there all the time.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
They were there all the time, you're right.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
I walked in my house and they had one of my blankets.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
This is my house.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Get out Please.
Trumb alert.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I'm sorry, don't be sorry, it's what I did man.
I'm sorry, I want to hug you.
What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
here man.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
What were they doing?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
They were watching TV on the couch.
I literally walked in after ahard day of school.
Are you chilling?
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Imagine like yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
It's after a hard day of work coming and seeing.
Yeah, maybe that's anotherepisode.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
You got the decision.
I remember it was a brown,green and blue cover.
I think we got it from Walmartor something.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
I think it was Stripes or something.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
It was like a weird pattern, maybe diamonds or
something like that.
I'm like wow.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
That's my cover.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
You went in there and grabbed anything you seen.
You got Leo Big.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
You're a one cup.
You're a one cup Just.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
How you make Kool-Aid for yourself.
You made Kool-Aid.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
And not the pre-mixed one.
The big pack that was alreadysweetened, the little packs made
a single little pack and somesugar in one cup Made Kool-Aid
For himself, Naturally peoplemake the pitcher right For the
(37:11):
house.
Sir made one single cup.
One cup man.
You know there's a blessing inevery lesson.
I made some mistakes, you know.
You look back on them, exes,and be like what, why Let them
go?
I mean, there's nothing I coulddo to change it, it happened,
(37:34):
it's in the past and you moveforward.
So but to the cleaning, to what?
I said about individualisticand all that, you had a response
, I think.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Sorry, the shoulder thing threw me off.
Sorry, but no, for sure, forsure, but I feel like that's not
an accurate representation ofwho you are, though.
Either, though, because, say,I'm not going to sit here and
say my house is clean everysingle second of the day, or,
you know what, Our standards ofclean do not match a lot of
(38:12):
people's.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
No no.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
So right now I would say my room is dirty Because
there's stuff that is out onlike you give them sin, like
it's not organized.
It's kind of like there'slittle stuff all over my desk,
there's little stuff all overthere and it's just like this is
not clean, but somebody elsewalking here they be like your
(38:36):
room is clean.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (38:38):
And I'm like.
You see what I'm saying.
So it's like if you don't seeme every day and the only time
you do see me is when my room issuper clean you're going to
expect my room to be super cleanall the time I know you like
yeah, no, that could be aninaccurate representation of
self.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
That's true.
I mean, yes, that is true, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Like I said, it would just be a chip in the file, it
wouldn't just be the determiningfactor but it would be
something I would not put yourbusiness out there and nothing
like that, but you know hepretty untidy sometimes.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
So, hey, you love him .
This is correct.
I do, it's true.
Maybe if I would have saw hisroom, anyway, shelter You're
going to get your life together.
I'm going to find a name for you.
You just hold on.
We're going to move on to thenext question.
(39:40):
Okay, so we talked aboutrelationships and official the
five or four, whatever phases oftoday's relationships.
So, ending relationships whatare some tips that you would,
would give the listeners and thepeople?
(40:01):
So have you even given yourfriends to end a relationship
going bad?
Let it go.
How not just do it, tell them.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Tell them Say, look, it ain't working.
You know me, I like to be niceto people.
You know, when I'm done withyou actually not when I'm done
with you when, when I'm donewith how you've been acting,
I'll tell you like, look, Irespect like what you got going
on in your life.
You know you got to be veryrespectful because these days
(40:32):
people try to kill you if youleave.
So you got to be nice.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
No I do?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
You got to be nice, you got to be like look,
understand, you got a lot ofstuff going on.
You know what I'm saying.
Maybe this ain't the right timefor us because you know, I feel
like my needs aren't being metand you know, and I feel like
that gives someone a chance tolike oh, it opens the door, kind
of of like let's have aconversation about it, or they
could just hit you with the okayand it's over.
But it's like at least I gaveyou the chance to have closure
(41:02):
by saying why I'm not a big fanof that whole ghosting thing.
That's only if I just don'tlike you for real.
And we were in a talking stage.
Why do we need closure?
We was just talking, yeah, butexplaining like this is why it's
not working.
And I understand and I respectthat.
You got a lot going on.
With that being said, I'm notgetting X, y and Z, so I think
(41:25):
we're done Okay.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
So just have a an open, honest conversation with
the person you don't have to bea conversation.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Have an open, honest statement that could lead to a
conversation, okay, but youshouldn't expect a conversation,
okay.
Some people think like they'reowed, like, oh, I need closure.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Like why did you leave me?
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Well, I told you why.
You didn't want to talk aboutit afterwards, and now I'm not
giving you what I offered you atthat time.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
So what if a person because I've, I've been guilty
of, like, withholdinginformation, so if something
like not, I have grown, I havechanged, but in order to not, or
to avoid conflict or to notseem like a nag, I won't bring
everything up, and then it'llbuild, and it'll build, and
(42:17):
it'll build, and then, threemonths down the line, of course,
there's an explosion right andit's like, at that point, the
person is like where did thiscome from?
You didn't tell me that you hada problem with this, while, of
a sudden, is it at this criticalpoint where it's like you want,
to you want to end therelationship, Sorry.
(42:44):
So what do you do?
Like, what about that?
Because then it's like I needclosure because you never told
me anything.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah, but I mean that's where if yeah, you never
gave it a fair shot, like that'snot fair.
Because if you've been feelingsome type of way the heck you
get me If you've been feelingsome type of way about things
(43:13):
that are obviously going to leadto you getting fed up and
wanting to be done, you shouldhave said something about it.
Then.
Don't say nothing about it now,because I didn't know, and you
know what that person that youleft and you did that to they
won.
That's what I would tell them.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Okay, you dodged the bullet honey, what?
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Probably Because you can't even see her and tell me
what I'm doing wrong.
Like me and my friends havethis conversation now, Like if I
did something that made youfeel a type of way you need to
tell me in this moment.
Do not tell me two months fromnow because, guess what, I'm not
gonna respect it and I'm notgonna listen to it.
Because if I'm not like, forexample, right If I picked my
(44:02):
nose today and I picked my noseagain, but then six months later
you'd be like this one time youpicked your nose and it really
made me mad I'm gonna be likegirl when I picked my nose in
six months.
Now you're lying, you give me asaying.
It's like bringing up in thatmoment.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Yeah, yeah, no, that's for sure, and that's
definitely me.
Now I'm just.
I said I've been guilty of, butthen so do does that person,
because I've seen people likeriddled with grief because they
don't get closure.
So in that situation it's likethey're demanding closure
(44:40):
because it came out of leftfield, they didn't know what was
going on.
And then this person is like Idon't wanna talk about it
because I've let it boil to thispoint of no return.
And then they're like depressedand in grief because they've
lost this relationship thatmeant so much to them and they
were blindsided.
So, like, what do you even dowith that?
(45:02):
Go get you some therapy.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
They're right, it's just a therapy, because there's
something deeper than that,because, let me tell you
something, if somebody leavesyou and they don't wanna be with
you, why is it that weautomatically think?
We're the problem Like thisperson couldn't communicate,
this person couldn't understandand see how much you were trying
to make it work.
(45:25):
So if anything you dodged abullet, let it go.
It might be easier said thandone, but what are we gonna do?
Dwell on it all our life.
Let that thing go and go getyou some help.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
That's true.
That could be like anattachment thing, Like if you
have trouble letting go ofthings and moving on from people
, you need to definitely look atthe kind of attachment you have
in the wise and, as you said,get some therapy.
Okay.
So next question we are at our.
(45:59):
We had a few sub questions, butwe have three more questions to
go.
How many X's are too many?
And when we say X's, these areofficial relationships, not
talking, not dating, I guess noteven exclusive, but that's
great.
So what would you say?
Say you're in your early 20sand the number, like a guy, was
(46:21):
like, oh, I've been in this manyrelationships.
What number is gonna make yousay God?
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Okay, yes, it has a lot to do with your age.
If you were in your early 20syounger than 25, and you've had
more than five relationships,I'm scared of you because at
this point you're just datinganybody More than five.
More than five, so at aboutyour age 22.
25, by 22,.
(46:50):
If you have more than likethree, I'm kind of questioning
you because I will.
It starts about when you aredating.
Like I'll say your first real,I'll count 16.
So from 16 to 22, that's what's.
How many years?
Is that Six, six years, right?
(47:10):
In six years you got to knowand become super comfortable
with five different people.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
In less than a year, because that's like a person a
year.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yes, a year and a month or something.
Every year you had a new person.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
I'm confused.
Or it was like oh, me and herdated for three months and then
we wasn't together no more, andthen I found somebody else.
I'm just like that's too many.
I feel like you're a serialcheater or a serial dator or
something's wrong with you.
You might be two steps awayfrom serial killer, but that's a
(47:53):
lot.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Okay, so with that.
Then, if somebody says so, itwas still talking about early
20s and dating.
So if somebody says that theyhave had, so they say they have
had five relationships, how longdo you think or how long is
(48:21):
long enough in betweenrelationships, like official
relationships, do you think, inyour opinion, is should you take
a break and like before youmove on to someone else?
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Yeah, I was just talking about this with Aliyah.
We were looking up how long ittakes to get over someone.
Hey, aliyah.
Speaker 3 (48:45):
I'm weak.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
How long it takes to get over someone, and I think we
said like like a couple, likeseven months or something like
that.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Six to what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (48:55):
it Six to seven an article.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
Like a little thing we was looking up.
Okay, it takes like six toseven months, I think, for you
to genuinely get over arelationship.
And then it said it takes sevenyears for you to forget them.
Oh yeah, I remember you weretelling me about this and I was
like golly, and I'm not sayingyou're saying that, oh, you
needed six months on the dotbecause I checked out of a
(49:20):
relationship or a situationmonths before we actually ended
it.
So my six months been having Iwas out of it once we said we
done.
I was like, oh, God bless, youknow what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
I just feel like as long as you sit in you process
and you go through what you needto go through before you go and
just hop into someone else,cause a lot of people have that
ideology that oh, to get overthis person, I just got to get
under someone else.
That ain't gonna work, baby.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
So with that, though, that brings up an interesting
thought, like, if you're sayingthat you were checked out of a
relationship months before itended, do you really think
that's where your clock started?
Because what in you allowed youto check out of something but
not physically check out of it?
You don't think that'ssomething that needs to be
considered.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Oh, no for sure.
That's why I think it's up tothe individual.
Like me personally, that wasn'tenough time, I think, like I'm
still kind of some days I stillprocess it and whatnot, but for
some situations I don't carewhen we done talking.
(50:34):
We done talking Cause it wasnever a foundation that was
built between us.
It was just whatever you justanother dude.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Okay, so from exes to sexes, what body count?
Speaker 3 (50:53):
is too high.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
What's the first off?
Speaker 3 (50:55):
what's the?
Speaker 1 (50:55):
highest body count.
You've heard somebody likeshare and then what number is
crazy by your age, with you knowlet's say 25 and.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
I know somebody who don't even know they body count.
Somebody said they don't even,they wouldn't even be able to
tell me.
Because it was days that theywere having sex three to four
times with different people.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
And that in itself is crazy to me.
Because, it's like do youbelieve in, like spiritual, like
your energies?
Like exchanging and stuff andthey're like no, and I'm like,
and that's why you are where youare, yeah.
You're sick and you're confused.
Realistically, though, causethat's not gonna be every case
or a number my age, I'm 22.
(51:45):
For a man, if he says anythingover 10, I kind of second guess.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Pause, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Once he says like 20, anything over 15, I'm not even
gonna like touch you.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Yeah, yeah, that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
You know, my first like.
Well, my first and onlyboyfriend told me like he has 17
bodies.
Right, I'm notえ kid.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
That's crazy yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
We didn't tell me that till later, so yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
Okay, that's a lot.
Okay.
So what do you think?
Because you know what they say.
Well, I don't know if you knowwhat they say, but I've always
heard that when a man tells youhow many bodies he's had, you
like subtract, you know somenumber because they say men tend
(52:49):
to exaggerate.
And then if a woman tells youhow many, you know, it's a pie
or buy two or something likethat.
Speaker 2 (52:55):
I had three a phone.
Yeah, no, I know some peopleOkay, I believe in that somewhat
because I know some females.
They be like, oh, I have three,it's like their favorite number
, and then it make everybodyelse be like, oh, I really got
three, like I'm not.
I don't know what makes you.
How can I tell you how to tellthe truth?
Yeah, I know some females thatBe out here and lie About here
(53:18):
capping.
I'm like, bro, wasn't you justfor Jimmy yesterday?
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Little liar.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
But, dudes, probably, they probably be capping, they
probably be capping Everybodyprobably be capping.
Everybody, I wish we could haveit like on our foreheads.
No, oh, okay, never mind.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
Maybe in our pocket, no Like on our hip.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
On our forehead, though, but only the people that
we want to have sex with.
Go see it.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
No on our hip, cause that mean, I'm getting, I'm
getting undressed.
So then you can really see.
Speaker 2 (53:50):
No, like, only like, it don't just show to everybody.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
Like your mama.
Don't see the.
I keep what you say Only peopleyou want to have sex with.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
Like y'all got to agree to share your numbers.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
Then it show up on your forehead.
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
That'll keep people honest though.
Hey, keep you honest and keepyou safe.
Speaker 1 (54:07):
So do you feel like that number, like like if some
guy like you meet, you meet, younot meet, you get to the
exclusive phase and they likehow many people have you been
with?
Speaker 2 (54:18):
Oh, I'm knowing that from the jump Ain't no exclusive
Huh.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
Oh, you're not waiting to the exclusive.
I'm finding out that out.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
I'm finding that out soon.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
So you want that information from the jump.
Speaker 2 (54:29):
I don't you know what .
I don't want it, but like Iwant to know if you'll tell me.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (54:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:35):
Okay, so do you feel like that should be shared?
Speaker 2 (54:38):
Like no Cause.
Now I'm going to think everytime we walk past a female and
be like she probably wanted a 23.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
That's too many, so that's so, just so, if the
person says, yeah, I'll tell you, do you want to know?
You'll be like, okay, no, Ijust wanted to know if you will
tell me.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
No, I don't even ask, like if it just comes up.
They like, hey, okay, if theylike, how many bodies you got?
I'm like oh, x, y and Z.
And they like, oh, yeah, me too, I'm like okay.
Speaker 1 (55:10):
So you don't believe them anyway, yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
But like, if it comes up like oh, how many bodies you
got, they got to be the one toinitiate it, because, I want to
know if they, if like what theygot going on too.
But if it never comes up, thatmeans it's probably something I
don't want to know.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
Okay.
Do you feel like that mattersin a relationship, like the
number of people you slept withyou, not you being a general?
No.
Speaker 2 (55:33):
Anybody.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
No, no Okay.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
Not in test results.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
Yeah, oh, for sure.
Speaker 2 (55:38):
I need to see them.
Speaker 1 (55:39):
The test results matter.
Yeah, I feel like too.
I mean, there may be othertellers in your personality,
right, but if if someone istruly authentic and honest with
their answer and they do sayit's been 15 people, then I feel
like that tells you somethingabout them.
Like someone would see that asa very flag.
(56:00):
You just hopping around frombed to bed and really don't care
about connection.
So do I really want toentertain?
Speaker 2 (56:05):
you.
Yes, I know, okay, people haveone nightstands all the time.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
I find that wild.
I don't Okay.
So I don't even know if that'sactually a question, so I've
never, I wouldn't share with youanyway.
But I have nothing to sharebecause I've never had a one
nightstand.
I feel like that's crazy.
Like how can you go and be likeI just met you and I'm about to
(56:34):
go and sleep with you, Like Idon't know you?
Speaker 2 (56:36):
Maybe they look too good.
Speaker 1 (56:38):
No, that's not, I would have one with Drake.
Speaker 2 (56:41):
We ain't talking about Drake.
Well, that means I would haveone, though.
Speaker 1 (56:45):
Okay, I would have one with Drake.
Okay, I mean, it's true.
I mean you probably feel likeyou know Drake a little bit,
like I know your son.
Speaker 3 (56:51):
I know your mama name you probably feel like you know
, drake a little bit.
Speaker 1 (56:55):
But you just randomly meet this person you've never
seen in your life and you gohome with them.
Like that to me is just like amind blown, Like I'm just I
don't know, I just don't I can'tput that together in my head,
but to each their own and towhoever said they don't know,
(57:17):
and three or four times in a dayeither.
They're the largest investor inthe condom business.
Are they out here cutting up?
They're out there cutting up.
That's terrible, because thisis how we get super diseases,
super gonorrhea.
Speaker 2 (57:32):
I know you got it.
Speaker 1 (57:34):
They got super STDs that no longer respond to the
initial treatments.
We can't just be out here.
Speaker 2 (57:44):
Like any of the females.
Stop having sex with everybody,because my homeboys be sending
me pictures.
Speaker 1 (57:48):
Oh, not a damn, oh God pictures.
Speaker 2 (57:53):
One of my homeboys sent a picture of this girl
pants that she left because shelike bled, like I guess she got
on her period, and he sent it tothe group chat.
It was like just nasty, I seehow they'd be out here.
Yeah, that right there Both.
Speaker 1 (58:09):
You shouldn't be sending pictures to the group
chat.
Speaker 3 (58:11):
Why are you leaving?
Speaker 1 (58:11):
People like that and you shouldn't be hopping bad
hopping and leaving your pantswhy do you leave them your?
Period was on and you was going.
What?
Speaker 2 (58:22):
Technically speaking, what he said was but that's a
little X rated, so please don'tNothing.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Yeah, Um crazy.
Get your whole life together,please, Um okay.
So last question what doesplaying hard to get look like?
Speaker 2 (58:41):
Annoying Bro.
You're doing too much.
Do you want me or not?
Stop playing games.
Speaker 1 (58:48):
What does that look like, though?
Do you do you so?
Do you feel like people trulyplay hard to get yes, okay, why
do you feel that way?
Do you have you, do you?
Speaker 2 (58:58):
do that?
I don't think so.
Some men might say that, butit's just that I don't want you.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (59:04):
Yeah, like they beat some up, you're playing hard to
get.
No, no, no, no, no.
I don't want you.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
But see if you're engaging in conversation.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
You're my friend.
Speaker 3 (59:14):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (59:14):
I will tell a man like I do want you Okay.
Speaker 3 (59:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (59:19):
I mean obviously playing hard to like some people
.
Be like oh my God, you don'ttext me back fast enough and I
barely see you like ask me on adate, like we're grown, like if
you want to see me plansomething, yeah, so I'm not
being hard to get, I'm just havestandards.
Or some dudes be like oh my God, I've been wanting you for
seven years.
Obviously I don't want you.
Speaker 1 (59:40):
Why are you sitting around for seven years Wanting
somebody Literally stop it.
Speaker 2 (59:43):
I'm just being like oh, I'm unfortunate.
Speaker 1 (59:46):
Okay, sure, okay, so so, if you feel like so, okay,
well then, what does it looklike?
Right, it's for different from.
I just don't want you andyou're my friend and I'm not
playing hard to get.
I just don't want to be getgotten versus.
I may actually be interested,but I'm dangling a wire Like
what does that look like fory'all generation?
Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
She always text in she be boys, stop playing with
me.
Like bro, stop it.
It usually be the females thatbe thinking they playing hard to
get Like no, I'm not going tochase you, that's what they want
.
They want you to be like onyour own.
They body so bad.
Like bro, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
Like.
Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
I'm not going to beg you to see me, and like the lady
with the oysters.
Yeah, Like yeah, like I'm notdoing all that, like playing
hard to get is so childish, bro.
Like, if you want somebody, atthe end of the day, y'all just
walk.
Like I say you want somebody,go for it.
If you don't want them, leavethem alone because they will
kill you.
Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
They will or might, might, okay, well, that's all of
our questions, or my questions,for today.
Do you have any partingthoughts?
No, no be safe.
For real, please do.
Please be safe.
But thank y'all for tuning inand listening in with us today.
(01:01:13):
We hope, as usual, you enjoyedthe conversation.
Leave us a comment, leave us areview, follow our Instagram
page.
I think it's.
I should know this.
I said talk later, pod.
I think, Instagram and our again.
(01:01:34):
Every week on a Wednesday, wewill be dropping a new episode.
We've got some exciting thingscoming.
We've got some guests or aguest coming to the show to talk
about, you know, some maybeheavier, deeper conversations.
So stay tuned for that, andwe'll be doing some reviews on
(01:01:55):
some things as well.
So so stay tuned and keepletting us know the kind of
content you want to hear from usand how you're feeling about
our candid conversations.
We'd love to hear it.
We'd love to connect.
So until next time, be safe, beloved, be good to one another,
Peace.
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