Generational Love

Have you ever embarked on the rollercoaster ride that is love and relationships? Well, let us tell you – you're not alone! I’m Caprie, and with my co-host, Jaylah, we’re taking you on a journey through our personal stories and experiences. We'll discuss everything from the illusion of love at first sight to the importance of self-discovery and maintaining your identity even when you're head over heels in love.

Ever heard of the concept of 'three great loves'? Let us dive into this intriguing theory and how our encounters with puppy love and intense love have shaped our understanding of it. We'll also touch on the impact of age on relationships and the controversial idea of setting deadlines for life milestones. We'll also reveal our thoughts on modern dating norms, including who should foot the bill on a date and why a little research before committing to a date can go a long way! 

Now, let’s get down to the juicy stuff – cheating, breakups, and the complex dynamics of making the first move. We’ll be putting the spotlight on some of the differences in men's and women's perspectives on these matters and the different stages of relationships. Trust us, you don't want to miss our unforgettable dating stories and the valuable insights we’ve picked up. So plug in your earphones, sit back, relax, and let’s navigate this labyrinth of love and relationships together! We promise you an invigorating, enlightening, and downright entertaining conversation. After all, who said conversations about love and relationships have to be boring?

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back everyone.
You are joining us today onlet's Talk Later.
I am your host, Capri, and I'mJailor, and today we're going to
be talking about love andrelationships, so mixing up just
a little bit.
You know there's still anothercomponent of you know healing

(00:25):
and processing and discoverythrough these conversations,
right?
So let's get into it Right here.
We usually record in themorning, you know early morning,
so usually at the start of afresh brain, at least for me,
because I'm not really a morningperson.

(00:46):
I don't really come alive tillafter 10am, but I'm doing well.
How are you, Jailor?

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I'm good man.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
So funny.
How are you feeling about love?
How's your love, Aura, thismorning?

Speaker 2 (01:03):
It's cool.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
I wish you would just be great and wonderful.
Okay, so we're gonna.
We have some, you know, asusual, we're just kind of
staying true to our kind ofstructure as it has been to date
and we'll be doing some Q&Awith each other and then we'll
do a little bit of what we'vecalled kind of a versus, and so

(01:28):
we'll be doing some generationalperspectives on different parts
of you know what relationshipsmean for me now, or for me now,
and kind of a multi perspective,right, what it meant to me, I
guess, when I was Jailor's ageor younger.

(01:49):
And then she'll be giving herperspective from, you know, the
lens of her generation.
So I'm gonna jump right in andI hope you all enjoy this
conversation.
The first question, jailor,what was your first serious
relationship?

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Okay if we're talking like adult serious or just
serious in general.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I think that's open for definition.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Like, my first boyfriend was in high school,
but I wouldn't say no, it waskind of serious because there
were really motions, so yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Okay, all right.
Do you have anything else tosay about that?

Speaker 2 (02:35):
No, that was my first relationship, isn't that the
question?

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yeah, man, but you know I'm an expander.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah, that's your problem.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Oh, ain't that something?
Okay, anyway, all right, lookwho's getting real.
So I think my first seriousrelationship oh man, I think
when I define serious, I defineit a little more as like mature
serious it's probably my current, yeah, I would say, my first

(03:12):
serious relationship, becauseserious isn't immature to me,
like even like I've been, I'vebeen just a relationship for 11
years, so it's expanded andgrown a bunch.
So probably when we started itwasn't, of course, which I think
is like a though, but as wegrew and expanded it became

(03:37):
serious.
I don't know, I think for me, Ithink it's my current one, yeah
, okay, next question.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Okay, do you believe in love at first sight?

Speaker 1 (03:51):
I do not.
I think that's beautiful in themovies, but I do not feel like
that's real, because you knownothing about a person when you
see them and have no othercontent.
I don't know, that's just me,do you?

Speaker 2 (04:08):
No.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Okay, straight into the point.
No offense to anybody else outthere who might feel like it's a
thing, but you see where westay.
Next question Do you ever thinkabout previous love interests?

Speaker 2 (04:28):
All the time.
Yeah, because I'm single, so Ican.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah, I heard that.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, we wait, I'm not hesitant.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
I'm not hesitant, I just want to be able to answer
this in a appropriate manner,Like so, yes, I do.
Most of the time the way Ithink about them is they was
messed up, or they know it was aterrible situation, or I
remember this one time dude hadme tripping Like you know, like

(05:04):
I'll think about parts of methat I've grown from.
That's usually how I'm thinkingabout.
I'm like not never, not never,but like in this, like space and
in this relationship.
Never on a like I miss thatperson because I can say with
110% certainty that anyone thatI have either talked to or dated

(05:25):
or anything, at this point I donot regret nor want, like I
don't want them back.
I don't wish that I could havethat back.
I do not, and that's not kept.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
Next question what lessons have you learned from
your relationships?

Speaker 1 (05:48):
I would say those are probably endless, but I'll just
list like two.
I think the first lesson thatI've learned is not to lose
yourself, not to lose your voicefor anyone.
Like don't don't dim your lightto accommodate someone else's
emotions or someone else's ohgosh, just whatever they are and

(06:15):
however they present themselves.
Don't make yourself smaller tofit into that.
And then the second thing Ithink I've learned is that we
it's okay to not fit.
I think we worry, and I thinkthat's that goes beyond
relationships, but I won't getinto that, but I think in my

(06:38):
perspective, I worried so muchlike why aren't things working?
Why are we always arguing?
Why is this always happening?
And just being okay with this?
Ain't it?
This is not, it's not workingbecause it's not supposed to,
instead of trying to forcethings to work and trying to
mold and I guess, again, makeyourself fit, thinking that

(07:02):
because you have history orbecause you've known this person
a long time, or they did thisone or two things for you when
you were down you feel like youowe them something or whatever.
Sometimes it just don't fit andthat's okay.
What about you?

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, I think, yeah, I agree with you on that.
I think my most recent one hastaught me how to remove myself
from patterns that I keep tryingto not see, if that makes sense
.
It showed me how blind peoplecould get when they're in love

(07:43):
with someone and you know thatit's not like, it's not good for
you, it's not going to work out, but you keep trying.
So I think, really just lettinggo and with me letting this
person go, I was actually ableto heal from a lot of other
things that I realized I neededto let go.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Okay, yeah, it sounds like we've kind of learned some
of this, some of the samelessons, from relationships.
So, talking about learninglessons, I would say the next
question is just to kind offoreflow right what was the

(08:26):
hardest breakup you've ever had?

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Definitely my last one, Definitely.
The thing is, though, is thatwe weren't even like together.
There was never a you're myboyfriend and I'm your
girlfriend.
It was just three years of yeah, we basically together.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
It is so interesting to me and we're going to touch
on this stuff in the versesbecause, yeah, it's just so
different from the way Iunderstand relationships work,
but or whatever you wouldn'tcall them.
Let's see, my hardest breakupwas a person that I dated on and

(09:11):
off since middle school andthat was because of the
longevity and that was becauseof the complexity that was
trying to make it fit, and so itwas really hard because I had

(09:33):
not yet come to the realizationthat it was so much of force and
you know, kind of the reason.
I feel like the reason that whyyou're with someone has a lot
to be sorry has a lot to do withwhat you need at that time.
So if you need security, if youneed humor, if you need to be

(09:54):
spoiled, if you need emotionalsupport, you're going to find
those pieces in that person thatyou're dealing with and connect
to that and hold on to those,no matter if everything else is
absolutely terrible.
They fill these certain thingsfor you, and so I think that was

(10:19):
a lot of what happened with me,and so I had to disconnect not
only from that relationship butalso with the part of myself
that said that you know he fillsthis for you when in reality it
was just a really bad fit andno harm, no vow or whatever.

(10:40):
But you know, because we allmake our decisions, but it was
definitely the hardest breakup.
Okay, next question.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Are we going with this one?
Yeah, okay, all right.
Do you believe that there arethree loves in a lifetime, and
have you experienced them?

Speaker 1 (11:06):
So yes and yes, I think before we go into it we
should probably kind of definefor the people what the three
loves theory is, to help it makemore sense.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
All right.
So, according to CourtneyKardashian, the first love is
like a fairy tale or like puppylove.
You usually have this in highschool or early college years.
Very lustful, it's not usuallydeep.
You'll never probablyexperience this again because

(11:45):
you're going to grow up.
The second one is your intenselove.
It's usually the one that turnsyour world upside down.
The relationship becomes amirror into your soul.
You notice all yourinsecurities, your needs and
your desires.
You may experience jealousy,fear and self-doubt.

(12:07):
It has massive highs anddramatic lows, and trying to
mold that other person into yourperfect partner, it usually
ends pretty bad.
Your third one is yourunconditional love.
That is when you are much moremature.
You feel like you're home.

(12:28):
You embrace everything aboutthem, including their
imperfections.
You feel like yourself whenyou're with them and you
constantly inspire each other tobe better.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
So yes, um, I like I said, yes, I believe in it, um,
and yes, I've experienced.
I feel like I've experiencedall three.
Um, so the puppy love, I wouldsay I mean obvious.
So so this is I don't know.

(13:03):
This is a, I think, part that'sconfusing for me because, going
back to the last question aboutbreakup that person, we were on
and off since I was a kid, so Ifeel like almost like they were
my, they were the first and thesecond.
They were, you know, kind ofthe puppy love and the what was
it?
The second one called theintense one intense love.

(13:27):
Yeah, I feel like they were bothof those, um, because, thinking
about the little crushes andthe little boyfriend, I don't
feel like you really have aboyfriend before you, like 16.
That I had back then.
I don't know.
I feel like it wasn't asimpactful on my life, but at the

(13:50):
same time, you know, I'm kindof thinking okay, where would
your dad fit in there?
Um, did you love him?
Yes, I think I did.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
You can't think.
I mean you know if you lovesomeone.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
I had love for him.
So I wouldn't say that I was inlove because I don't feel like
I knew what that was then, um,but I did have love for him and
I think and that's why it's alittle bit confusing, because
without you in the mix, theintensity of it wouldn't exist.

(14:26):
So maybe he was the puppy,because it was definitely more,
because I mean, that's just lust.
It was like whoa, yeah, youlook good, and stuff, um, it was
the attraction, it was a lotabout the attraction, um, so
yeah, I would say he was thepuppy.

(14:47):
The second person wasdefinitely the intense,
definitely the pain.
I mean it was chaotic, it wasBobby and Whitney, minus the
drugs and abuse.
I guess.
Sorry, um, but it was just, itwas toxic, it was, it was toxic,
um, and it didn't fit.
And I you know I try not to sayI wish, but you know it's too

(15:10):
bad that different decisionsweren't made, to just realize
that the piece didn't fitearlier.
And then, with my husband, rightnow, I feel like it's the love
that came out of absolutelynowhere.
It was unexpected, like when wegot together.
I mean maybe we'll have him onthe show and we'll talk and get
his perspective of it all, butlike he pursued me and pursued

(15:34):
me and pursued me, and I wasalways like, boy, go on, leave
me alone.
Um, I was always either in arelationship or whatever.
And it was just, oh, I knew hewas like a little younger than
me, um, and so, and so it waslike, when it came together, it
was like, oh, we probably justgoing to talk and then you're
going to be just you know,somewhere else where we're going

(15:56):
to.
You know, I'm going to stopanswering the phone or whatever.
Something's going to happen,and, and it just kind of stuck
and and and it didn't make sense.
For a long time I was like, wait, is this still happening?
This is still happening, you'restill here.
Okay, all right, and I thinkthe biggest thing about it that

(16:17):
I realized later on is that itwas still happening because it
he felt like a friend, but afriend that I I mean obviously
was, was attracted to, wasinterested in.
You are hilarious with thefaces over here, um, and I don't

(16:43):
know it was like.
I mean, to date, my favoritething is we can laugh so hard
together because, like he, he, Ijust watched this movie.
I love these rom-coms,especially around Christmas.
Anyway.
Um, he matches my goofy.
And I've had people say that,oh, you're weird, like why are
you laughing so much?
Or why you like act like thatand that trigger.

(17:06):
Um, but he's never like he he'lldo something crazy right with
me, and like we'll just crack upabout it, and like this is
comfortable.
And so, although I'm not evergoing to say anything was easy,
but it just is, it just, it,just, it just is, and it it

(17:29):
makes sense.
And so, jaila, I need to knowwhat these faces are for.
And this is laughter.
What is going on, bro?
You just this is just funny.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
Why, mom bro?
Because it's funny bro.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Why, bro Because?

Speaker 2 (17:47):
you hear, like hear me out right.
Like you're talking aboutMarcel, like oh, it was just so
easy and this stuff.
I'm like, oh my God, like thisis crazy Cause.
Like I was like 10, 11, 12, Idon't remember and I'm like in
my head listen, I love Marcel,that's my, that's my stepdad, I
call my real dad for real.
But when I first met that man,I'm like there is no way mama

(18:11):
brought this into our house.
Like I cannot believe this.
I was just siding the entiretime.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
I'm like, well, well, she was, here we go All right,
I'm not, I said, I just said,I'm not saying it was easy, no,
no, no, I know that, but it'slike still hearing, like like
the endearment behind it and I'myour kid is like dang my mama
sent bro Wow.

(18:42):
Dang it.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
He was a simp for Marcel.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
Wow, you know I, you enlighten me what is a simp
Cause?
I don't know if I really knowwhat that means.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Like a simp is somebody who just like right,
you just in love you kind of sad, Like it's like not sad, Like
oh, you're boohoo crying, butlike you know how they be.
Like Drake is a simp becauselike yeah, he'd be doing what
he'd be doing, and he kind of inlove and then he don't be in
love, but he'd be going a littlecrazy and obsessed, like when

(19:13):
he was in love with Nicki Minaj,and he was just always Nikki,
nikki, nikki, nikki, bro, youare a simp bro, she does not
want you.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Oh man, yeah, but like you, just a simp, it's okay
.
Your husband, though, yes, yeah, yes, it is, yeah, yeah, it is,
it's, it's, it's everything allat the same time.
It really is.
It's like when I think about us, I think about that little
picture, it's like a grandma anda grandpa and it's raining and

(19:42):
he holding the umbrella over herhead, but he mad.
It's like, even if, even if youstill got me, like, so, yeah,
so call me a simp there, man,cause you know this, this is
what it is, man.
So, j-la, since since I'msimping over here, tell us about

(20:04):
if you believe in the theory ofthe three great loves and if so
have you experienced it, causeI don't know when.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
I brought this to your attention, cause I'm like
my mom, I think.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
I'm going through it.
She did, she did.
Okay, so you believe in itobviously.
Have you experienced any ofthem and if so, which ones?

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Um, definitely the puppy love.
I think a lot of people whoprobably listening probably
going to know exactly what I'mtalking about, cause I was so in
love with this man and when helike hurt me, like my first
puppy love, I was sitting atEmma house eating pizza rolls,
crying.
Just toe up, man.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
I was like I can't, don't eat them, though they
processed and unhelpful.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
But at the time I needed that, I needed to feel
something else, man, my stomachneeded to hurt or something, but
definitely the puppy love,cause I got over that so quickly
.
Um, and then my intense lovewould definitely have to be with
, you know, the one who justleft man.
Um, that was hard, that was nofunny.
Like man, I was sick.

(21:08):
I've been sick for like like ayear maybe, trying to get over
it, and then I finally got overit.
Yeah, it took me a year.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Wait, rewind pause, I have.
I have one question.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
Not about this confusing situation, but at the
time of the puppy love, is thatwhen you always used to play in
that Maya song, was that aroundthe same time?

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Don't mess, nope, no, not that one.
Uh, what you gonna do that one?

Speaker 1 (21:41):
So so much Was that the same time.
Yeah probably hey.
Why didn't realize that?

Speaker 2 (21:46):
I was going through it, man.
I was going through it, man.
She loved.
I mean, oh my.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
God.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
Cause he was a cheater and he wasn't saying no
To nobody.
It's alright, though.
It's cool.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
So whatever, okay, okay.
So the intense love you saythat took you about a year or
two, really stop Okay.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
It makes sense actually, now that I thought
about it.
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
Took about a year.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
Okay, so do you think you have met your easy?

Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yes and no, because yes, because it ain't easy.
It ain't easy, man.
Man, you know that.
Remember that commercial I usedto love?
I mean it was a Swift or WetJet and it was like baby, come
back.
Ooh, you can blame it.
That's how I've been feeling.
I saw it in the window, man.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
I ain't singing it, oh my God.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
But then at the same time I'm like eh, Probably not
like I'm only 22,.
Man Got about 6 mo years to go.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Until.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
I need to be married and had at least a baby on the
way or something.
Yeah, 28.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
I'm out of here at 30 .
So then you think it makessense for women to put deadline.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, man, really my back hurting.
I'm chasing this child.
No, no, I'm done.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
I've added that all Done, jaila.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Mom, your back be hurting my back Exactly.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
My back hurts because of my child?

Speaker 2 (23:29):
No, but listen Okay, but listen Boom, say, you 28 and
you push out a kid.
You're breaking down.
It be days, I think, the old,like the age getting to you now,
because sometimes you be goingthrough your moods, I'm like, oh
man, ain't no way she got nobaby right now.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Me.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yeah, you.
Oh, it's like menopause comingor something you don't even know
what's wrong with you Somethingto be wrong.
What's wrong with you?
I'm just having one of thosedays Like, yep, I'm good, I'm
not having a kid, bro, thatdoesn't have anything.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Jaila, I had pop at 29.
No.
So, one year before me.
You think I'll make a lifetimedifference.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
Okay, so hear me out you 33.
I'm not, but I'm you 33, right,you just had a baby, but baby
five you 38.
So you're 38 right now.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
No, I'm not.
How are you Dang?

Speaker 2 (24:29):
I was close though 36 .
Oh, close enough.
Okay, imagine you 36 right now.
Right now, mom with a five yearold.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
Right now.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
No, it's not happening, it'sbecause I'm mentally tired.
Me too Not physically.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
I go outside right now, but mentally.
I don't have it.
What's?
Why is chocolate brown?
And why is the elevator go upand down and not left and right?
Like my son asked a lot ofquestions too, but I feel like
them little kids.
Oh, I got a headache right now,actually like right this minute
, so Dang, but that's.

(25:14):
Many women have had childrenlater in life and have been just
fine.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
And then they're gonna die by the time.
The kid like has a kid bro Likenow.
You're heck of old, you can'tdo nothing you sitting there.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
That's incorrect.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
Bro, no listen.
Listen, if you out there andyou are 50 and you still got a
jet, cool, I'm so sorry, notsorry.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
What is a jet A?

Speaker 2 (25:36):
child, you got a child or whatever, and you doing
a thing Cool, that's great foryou, bro, like I'm so proud of
you.
But that's realistic.
You're 50 years old and yourkid is 18.
You're not gonna be there foryour grandkids, you're dead.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
I mean, if your kid is 18 and you're 50, the life
expectancy.
And if you live in America,what's the life expectancy?
80?
Probably so.
That's 30 more years.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
Okay, they could possibly see their grandkids.
I don't know.
You know, black people kind ofweird too.
So, like my uncle, like 12.
So this is all just strange tome.
He's seven.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
Oh, my God, I don't know.
Time froze.
He's like 16, 17.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
Dang.
You see, I'm gonna be outside,so I don't know.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
Dang yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
So you know, to each his own, she doing her thing.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
I think.
I don't know Me neither.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
Yeah, anyway, yeah, okay, so, yeah.
So Jayla wants kids in sixyears everybody.
Or the one she out the gate.
You know what's funny?
I said the same thing If Idon't have another kid before
I'm 30, I'm not gonna have anymore.
So I guess we thought similarly, exactly, but I'm not saying

(27:03):
that that's a stopping point foranyone.
It was just for me.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah for me.
This is all about me, thisain't about them, you're right.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
All right, what's the next question?

Speaker 2 (27:12):
man.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Okay, next question Okay, so let's move into dating.
Do you remember your first date?

Speaker 2 (27:25):
No.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Do you feel like you've had a date Dates.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
To be honest, we'll just come talk about this, but I
think I only had one Like areal, real date.
Okay, so what makes a?
Date a date.
A dude say you wanna go on adate.
Would you like to go on a datewith me?

Speaker 1 (27:50):
So the word date makes it a date.
So what if the dude says can Itake you out?

Speaker 2 (27:55):
That's not a date we hanging out.
Oh, you wanna take me out?
Take me out.
Well, is that?

Speaker 1 (28:01):
not a date.
That's what they be saying.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
You wanna come over and watch Netflix Like that's
not a date.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
No, that's not a date In my definition either.
But if a young sir comes andsays can I take you out?

Speaker 2 (28:15):
I feel like that's a date.
Okay, but in this generation Ifeel like I ain't in this
generation.
In my past I feel like they belike oh, you wanna go out to eat
, or oh, you wanna go to themovies, oh, you wanna go do this
.
That's hanging out, bro, likeyou.
Just ask me if I wanna go dothat with you.
You're not saying hey, can Itake you somewhere?

Speaker 1 (28:36):
Okay, so answer me this are you paying?

Speaker 2 (28:40):
It depends on who it is, cause if you heck of ugly
and busted, I don't want youthinking that I owe you anything
, so we gonna split it, and ifyou look good, yeah, you could
pay.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
If you look good, you can pay.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
Listen, I don't want nobody thinking that they gonna
get a second chance or that theyhave the right to ask me
anything.
So I will pay.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
But if you okay.
So here's how I think.
If somebody says can I take youout To me, that means you're
paying Because you're taking meout.
You invited me.
So you would.
However you look, if you lookwell enough for me to accept the

(29:30):
invitation.
You invited me, so I feel likeyou should be paying.
I guess I get it, but I don'tget it as far as like.
Oh, if the person paid, thatmeans that you owe them
something that might come from atraumatic experience, because

(29:50):
how is that the automaticexpectation?

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Not owe them, like not owe them sex or anything
like that.
But it's like okay, if a dudetakes me out, right, and he pays
, and he treats me like agentleman, and X, y and Z, I
feel like, especially in thisgeneration he feels that he's
obligated to now treat me likeoh well, I took you on a date.

(30:16):
Like I should be able to askyou like where you going and who
you're with.
Like I don't know what it is,but every single time not many
times, but the few times thatI've been in a couple of dates
the guy will literally be likeokay, so what's next?
And I was like, bro, we justwent out once.

(30:37):
Bro.
Like it comes with likeexpectations of a future or that
there is even a chance of afuture.
Like what if the date goes bad?
Then you just tell them that thedate went bad and I'm not
interested but this is ageneration where they will kill
you, so I'll just be letting yougo down on the low.
Yeah, man, you gotta thinkabout these things, man See.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
No, you're right.
I mean, oh God, yeah, that puta little bit of a morbid turn on
things.
I mean, yeah, but I mean, sowhat do you do?
Just not go, or you just givethem just enough to think there
may be a future, and then who'swrong here If I boom right

(31:20):
Before I go on any date?

Speaker 2 (31:21):
I'm talking to this person, I'm texting this person,
me and Aliyah, doing a littlebackground research.
We gonna go through theFacebook, find a mom page.
We gonna find out who you is,For sure, for sure.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
I bet not nobody be looking up my page, oh look at
her page.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
man Do what you gotta do.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
It's secret and it's private anyway, Well.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
I'm on a mama page, everybody page, anyway.
So then, boom, I meet them inperson.
So I'm like, okay, I alreadykind of know who you are, but if
anything goes wrong, like a redflag or something in my body,
I'm paying.
If the energy is off, listen,this is a public service
announcement.
If I pay, I'm not messing withyou, unless this is like our

(32:01):
third end.
But you know what?
That's a question we gonnaanswer later on.
Okay, but I have not been onmany dates.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
What about you?

Speaker 1 (32:10):
Al Okay, one more question you paying for yourself
?

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yeah, oh, okay.
Okay, if that man is BROKE,he's getting left there.
I'll even drive my own car.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
I thought you were saying, like, if I get a red
flag, I'm just paying foreverything it is.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
It was this one, okay , well.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
All right, dude yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
We can talk about that later on, okay.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Um, do I remember my first date?
Um, no, I guess I don't either.
Actually I remember my firstdate in my current relationship,
but like ever, no.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
Where am I supposed to take?

Speaker 1 (32:56):
you On our first date .
We went to the movie dinnermovies Ew.
Aw come on, it was, it was cute.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
What movie y'all see?

Speaker 1 (33:07):
I believe it was um what's that?
Think Like A man.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
Of course he would take you to the set.
What is wrong with him?

Speaker 1 (33:15):
What's wrong?

Speaker 2 (33:16):
He's been a walk out the elevator, walk out the movie
.
You looking at him like mm.
Why Think Like A man made youside-eye?

Speaker 1 (33:24):
No, I think Like A man was cool Made me.
Yeah, but like ever, I don't.
I feel like we had I don't know, maybe it was kind of the same
Like you trying to go, maybe itwas more hangouts, I don't, I
don't, I don't work, no, nope,nope, nope, that's not true.

(33:46):
I had like dates where, like Isaid, because I consider
somebody saying can I take youout, like it's for me, it's all
about language, if somebody saylet's go to, that sounds like
I'm paying for me and you payingfor you.
That's how I understand let'sgo, but can I take you is
different.
And I think for me growing up, Imean this current relationship

(34:08):
I was early 20.
So I didn't have like a wholebunch of dates with like men
prior, but it was very.
There was still a little bit ofa what they call it chivalry
where they actually invited youout.
I'd like to take you out.
Like I've heard that before inmy lifetime.

(34:28):
I'm sad that I feel like proudthat I can say that, because it
sounds so different now, but Idid hear that, but my very first
date I do not remember.
So that's okay.
So, also along the same linesof dating, what is your ideal

(34:54):
date?
And if you have experienced itor is anyone.
I mean, I guess you said youhaven't been on any, but let's
start there.
What's your ideal date?

Speaker 2 (35:10):
I don't even have one .
That's how, like this datingscene is bad, like I don't have
one, I mean it'll be kind ofcool.
Also, drake stuff when herunning out that stadium and
they had dinner in the stadium.
I ain't messing with no dudes,I got that money.
So, yeah, that would be tightthough.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Love attraction.
Hey Drake have you hear me,Drake listens to our podcast
manifest, so you don't so okay.
So an idea would be some grandgesture.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Grand on some 50 shades of gray.
Put me in the helicopter andlet me see the city.
Then take me to some, take meto the master's, and then I just
wanna eat.
And then you leave me alone.
Oh like, just leave, bro,you're not staying over.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Yeah, don't have the expectation to stay To stay, Get
out.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
I think that's fair.
Yeah, Get out.
Mm-hmm.
For me, my ideal date I don'tknow if there's a place I think
just ideal would be somethingwhere we have the opportunity to

(36:37):
connect and talk.
I mean especially so if it'slike a first date.
I wanna know you, I wanna knowwho you are and what you're
about.
So I need an intimate setting,like a nice dinner or a picnic
or include a walk around likesome, a scenic place where we
can kind of talk and not bedistracted and disturbed by the
sound of a movie or a concert orsomething right.

(36:59):
But if it's just a date likefor like right now, in this
space where I'm like married andlong-term relationship, I would
say ideal would be.
I mean, an ideal date in mycurrent space would be more than
one day.
I need like three days out ofthe area in a nice suite with

(37:26):
music and wine, and I wanna gosee a theater performance.
I wanna have a wasted night outwhere we drunk and just find
some random people to party withand they buy us all drinks and
we just get crazy and thenforget the next day and then we

(37:48):
start again with a nice museumvisit and Sound like the
hangover hey.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
I'm going to be honest.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
I've never had a hangover moment.
I feel like people by my agehave had that Like.
Have had like dancing on top oftables and bars and laughing,
throwing up in the back of theroom and you know, laughing,
throwing up in the back ofUber's and stuff, like I don't
know, like I don't wanna throwup in no Uber, because, hey, I

(38:20):
have thrown up in an Uber, I did, but I wasn't drunk.
That was the sad part.
I had car, I was car sick and Ithrew up in my Tupperware so
that I wouldn't get charged forthe cleaning fee.
But I just be on here cuttingup, sorry, anyway, but I've
never had a hangover experienceand I still.

(38:41):
I want that.
Like I want one of my birthdays, or it don't even have to be my
birthdays.
I wanna go to Vegas orsomewhere and just have a blast
and then do some coyote uglytype scenes and then go home.
I feel like I need that.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
You can come hang out with me and my friends.
One day, mom, I will get youlit.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
My God.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
It won't be.
Hey, I'm a bartender now.
It don't even taste like liquorenough After a foe, you good.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
Keep going.
Okay, I might consider that Ineed one other my age adult.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
I can't be partying with y'all like you and Rachel
Rachel, I know you listening.
You and Rachel come to Atlantalike a weekend.
Get you lit.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
Get you lit.
Get you lit, Listen to this.
We gon' see I don't know my wegon' see, we gon' see.
Yes, so that would be my idealdate.
It would be across a number ofdays doing all kinds of things.
Venice would be nice, whatever,Just putting it out there.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Me too though Take me with y'all.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
Take me, take me.
You gon' find her a little.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
No, I'm not finding nobody.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
Okay, sorry.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
Mm-hmm, all right.
All right and what advice doyou have for young couples?

Speaker 1 (40:19):
I think it would connect back to what I've
learned about you know, throughthese relationships.
Be true to yourself, stayauthentic, speak up, don't lose
your voice, live authentically.

(40:43):
Remember that you know theother person is human as well
and you may.
You know, both come withbaggage, if you will.
So just be mindful of how muchyou're carrying and thoughtful
about how much they're carrying.
And if y'all's suitcases, could, you know, come together and if
they can't, time to moveforward.

(41:06):
Don't get wrapped up in oneperson, thinking that this is it
and there's nothing else outthere, because there's always
another person, there's alwaysanother experience.
Don't limit yourself.
So that would be my advice.
What advice would you giveJayla?

Speaker 2 (41:29):
Just recently, me and Aliyah had come to terms with
this conversation.
But men well, a lot of mendon't lie.
A dude said listen to this.
A dude said I don't lie, Idon't have to lie to her because
if she likes me enough, she'lllie to herself.
And many times we keep makingexcuses.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
Wow yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
We keep making excuses for men.
Oh, he would never do me likethat.
Stop it, bruh.
He gonna show you who he is andeverything else you making up
yourself.
You have created this entireimage that's on you.
Look at what's in front of you.
Do not see or hear nothing else.

(42:13):
Trust your gut.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Period.
That's big Wow.
That's probably one of thecraziest things I've heard in a
long time.
I don't have to lie, eventhough me and Dubya are lying.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Oh, for sure.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
Nah, my phone died, come on now.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
His phone died earlier that day it ain't die,
when you was calling Right.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Nah, that was my homie girlfriend.
She had his phone.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
But then look at one point that was his homie
girlfriend, and now it's histurn with her.
See, he ain't lying, he's juststretching the truth.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
Yeah, nah, that's, crazy, no, that's not J.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
That's not stretching the truth.
Stretching the truth, he's justcapping about the timing.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:01):
About the actual situation.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
Nah man, people straight beyond here lying.
I've had a dude tell me I'mlooking.
My eye is connecting with thegirl driving away from his house
.
I say who is that?
That was my cousin.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
I can't help my cousin bring the groceries into
the house.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
That wasn't his cousin.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
How do you know?
Did you do a DNA test?
I?

Speaker 1 (43:29):
know her, I knew her.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
I can't save y'all man.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
That was a bald face like.
Then found out.
He told her the same lie that Iwas his cousin.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Hey.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Dude be out here lying man.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
No for sure.
But I'm saying like they'regonna.
They'll men lie, right.
They lie about all that, right.
But then you or you, to sitthere and believe from that you
know is a lie, is crazy.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (43:59):
It's like who falls it.

Speaker 1 (44:02):
Both.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
But if you knew he was a liar, why I believe it?

Speaker 1 (44:08):
Like you said, make enough stuff.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
Maybe I'm tripping, you're lying yourself.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Maybe he is right, it couldn't be me no more.
We were on a break, so get acount?

Speaker 2 (44:18):
I don't even know these men?

Speaker 1 (44:20):
Just crazy stuff.
That's crazy stuff.
Okay, wait so that you knowthis addendum question Just the
craziest lie or thing maybe notlie you've ever been told in a
relationship or talk ship orwhatever y'all call it these
days.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Bruh, it was my 21st birthday.
Tell me y'all gonna know thisstory, bro.
I seen the DMs.
I seen them with my own eyes.
I seen them with my own eyes.
He said no, he didn't.
He said I didn't see it.
He said I didn't see it.
And then, and then he was likeyou ain't see nothing.
And then, with my friend, askedhim well, let us see it.

(44:58):
He was like I deleted it.
So I did see something.
Now it's gone, and half thestraightest face like yeah, and
it made me think like dang.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
I'm tweaking?

Speaker 2 (45:11):
No, I'm not Cause.
He just said he yeah, how youlie and then forget.
You just lied within like twominutes, man, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
That's crazy.
No, you didn't.
There's a word for that.
People who do that.
Is it a narcissist?

Speaker 2 (45:30):
I don't know what it is, but my end.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
Yeah, that's nuts.
Okay.
Next question, before we getinto the verses this will lead
into the verses too, though.
Yeah, have you ever cheated?

Speaker 2 (45:49):
Nope, never.
I only been in one relationshipfor real, for real, and the
second one was a situation ship.
And so looking at who I am nowno, I did not.
I have never cheated becauseI've never been in a committed
relationship recently.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
That's fair.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:14):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
So into the verses have you ever cheated?

Speaker 2 (46:24):
mom?
And Marcel not to.
She has never cheated on you.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
I have never cheated on my current partner ever, but
you've cheated, I have cheated.
Oh you going down.
But look not.
But look, I'm not justifyingcheating.
Cheating is wrong, man.
Just just just move forward.
My cheating was alwaysreactionary.

(46:49):
You cheated, so I'm going toget you back, but this one time
I cheated, no man, I don't know.
You know, we all make mistakesand I want to apologize for
anyone I've hurt in my pastbecause that wasn't right.

(47:10):
It was like an X, like I hadgot with somebody else.
But see you know what?
The same thing we weren'tcommitted by verbal.
We didn't say you mine and I'myours and we not dating nobody
else.
So I went back and hung outwith my ex a few times and would

(47:33):
you call that cheating?
No, because we didn't say thatwe were.
What'd you call it?
Like you know, committed it'sanother word for exclusive.
Exclusive, yes, we didn't saywe were exclusive, but the
person got the found out and hadthis whole blow up and like I

(47:56):
felt guilty and I was like I'mso sorry, it was a weak moment
and just be cabin, yeah, but wewere not exclusive.
So I really only cheated once,twice, twice, that's it.
That's it, and I haven't sent.

(48:19):
Were you working on yourself.
It was.
I've worked on myself and I'mnot a cheater.
It was reactionary, it was forrevenge that don't make you
right but it was.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
You know what One of my homeboys just told me?
He said that when his girlcheated on him, it didn't make
him mad, it just made him hateher more.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
Aren't those related?
Like if you hate somebody,you're not mad, but you hate
them?

Speaker 2 (48:45):
He cheated and then she cheated back and it didn't
make him be like, oh, I'm sohurt, you cheated on me.
It was like I understand why Icheated on you in the first
place.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
Oh yeah, and he would literally say break up after.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
No, Okay, that's.
And then he told me heliterally said her leaving me
would have hurt me.
If she would have just left me,that would have hurt me more
than her cheating back, Becauseit just he literally said, it
just made him feel like moreconfident in why he cheated on
her in the first place.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
So now I really don't feel bad.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
Yeah, like cause, you just cheated back, so I'm going
to do it again.
We just both going to becheating, okay.
That's so weird to me, though,because a lot of females think
that way, like, oh, I'm going tocheat back, I'm going to get my
leg back, just leave, bruh hedon't care, just leave.
He cheated on you already.
Why cheat back?

Speaker 1 (49:33):
Don't be like my mom Just leave, don't be like me,
just leave.
He seemed hurt.
He seemed very hurt.
He just cheated again, see.
But when I left him, I wasgetting Ray J in the ring,
exactly See.

(49:53):
So, yeah, see.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Cause when I left he was sending stuff to the house
and stuff He'd come back.
Come back when he found out Iwas with another dude.
He I don't care what you do,die, I'm dying.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
I don't want to die.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
I think yeah, into the verses,because I think this next thing
I was going to say is kind ofdirectly related.
So in this little, this nextportion, we're going to just
talk about our perspectives onthese few topics here.

(50:29):
And the first one is who cheatsmore, men or women?
And I think I don't thinkeither cheats more than the
other.
I think we cheat about the same,men and women.

(50:50):
I think we cheat differently,and I say that because, speaking
to what we were just talkingabout, like just leave, because
that'll hurt more, versuscheating back.
Women are emotionally driven.
Men, because of differentfactors nature nurture versus

(51:10):
nature right Are more physicallydriven.
So I feel like when I mean feelhow you are, how you will once,
I say this, but I really do feellike when men cheat is really
to, just for that time it's likeman, I'm just trying to do this
, whatever it really, I reallyfeel like it could not mean

(51:34):
nothing because she just thatwas just a.
I mean it was just a thing todo, almost Like.
It was almost like a like goingto Walmart and getting a bag of
bread.
It was just a thing to do withwomen, it's mental.
We I work with you and we willput on a project together.
And I'm spending all this timewith you and I realized you

(51:56):
funny, you smart, you so nice.
And so by the time we startthinking and this isn't all
women, nothing anybody says isgoing to go fit in everybody's
bag, obviously, but in myperspective, by the time we
think about cheap, we've alreadyliked you, we like you.
And so I think that even if wedon't, if the woman doesn't have

(52:24):
sex with the person, she'salready cheated mentally,
because now she thinking aboutyou, she might be dreaming about
you, she might be with her dude, might accidentally say your
name, kind of thing, like it's,it's, it's, it's a little deeper
.
And so if you talk about thephysical cheating, I think
that's men, but if you talkabout the emotional cheating, I

(52:45):
feel like that's women.
But there are some people whosay you can't emotionally cheat.
So that's just how I thinkabout it.
What do you think?

Speaker 2 (52:54):
Um, I don't even think that's a versus for us,
though, for real, because Iagree Like I think I always say
this to like my friends andeverything that men fall in love
with what they see and womenfall in love with what they feel
.
So it's like, yeah, you knowwhat I'm saying.
He did his thing for the night.
Now he back on Bruh.

(53:15):
He did what he did.
Now I do think I do think womencheat more, because I believe
emotionally, cheating ischeating If you allow someone to
come in to your, your heart,your mind or whatever you
cheated bruh, I don't care.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
Yeah, um, yeah.
I mean, I think that's cheatingtoo, if you laying in a bed and
you're thinking about thisperson.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
You think about that person, like what.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
Or so maybe I have cheated more time.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
Um.
So if you, if you, because ifyou DM in a dude and your
boyfriend hot spouse, whateverthey in the shower, you're
cheating.
Yeah, like right in that moment, because y'all you smiling and
y'all talking and stuff and youpicturing another man.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
Yo, you're sick and let me tell you something that's
why I'm not going to get in nosituation right now, because I
would not be thinking about thatperson and be thinking about
somebody else and not just stayaway from me, but yes, women
cheat more than men because men,90% of the time that men cheat,
it's usually physical.
You know how many times I helda dude hand and didn't think

(54:30):
anything like sexually about it,like or like.
Oh yeah, we're holding handsbecause this is intimate and we
together no, man, we justholding hands bruh, but you
wouldn't hold hands with anotherdude if he was in a
relationship and I think hear meout A lot of females actually
used old Jaila.

(54:50):
I used to be very like myhomeboys is home.
My homeboys Like I almost treatthem like my homegirls, like yo
, I'm, we, like I'm laying in abed, like we cool, like it's
nothing you know, intimate goingon, these are my people, but
it's like I would still do thatwhen I was messing with.
Like a guy Like I'm still goingto lay in a bed, we can go out

(55:11):
to eat together all the time.
We hang out every day.
So maybe I was cheating thewhole time.
Maybe, no, but that was myhomeboy, so who knew?

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Yeah, no, those were.
If it's a explicitly platonicfriendship, then I don't
consider that cheating.
But that's just me, okay, NextOkay.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
How do people initiate romance?

Speaker 1 (55:45):
So in for my generation, I guess what I've
seen and it seems like it'schanged Again.
I've been out of the game for awhile and it seems like it's
getting a little closer to whatJaila might share.
Well, from what I remember,people just ask you out.
They just come up to you and belike man, like a baby in a blue

(56:06):
shorts.
Let me get your number.
It just asks you out or I meanI guess you know and some people
slide in the DMs, but they'llknow you Like.
It's not like I have no idea whoyou are, but you on my partner
page and I thought you was cute.
We didn't do that.
It was like no, I know you,I've been around you, we've seen

(56:29):
each other.
Like we both went to highschool together, or we was both
in this group together, or Ilived down the street from you.
It's usually they already knowof you and so then they'll reach
out to you, say hey, it'll belike a how you been Long time.
No see, how are things.
You married it.
Crazy what you doing Friday.

(56:51):
So it's very it was very directIn my opinion, as far as you
know, just initiating romanceand I feel like it was eight
times out of 10.
It was a dude.
Females didn't ask dudes out.
That's your job as a man tocome and say what's up with me

(57:12):
and you or like, let me take youout.
So that's how I remember it.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
Yeah, I mean, it varies, it just depends.
Like get the DM, it means youhad a party.
It's kind of the same thing,though, but I guess maybe it's
just the closeness of it,because I think our generation
is more accepting and we realize, like these small little

(57:41):
communities and my man ain't inthis one, because the people are
hanging around I don't want itto, I don't want, I don't want
to be my man, I'm getting up outof here, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
I guess not too much different then, but has anybody
ever like got it, you like inyour face, or is it all?
I feel like.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
I think gas station to be.
I'm scared of gas station.
Oh, Usually be older dudes.
Remember that dude I wastalking about.
You.

Speaker 1 (58:09):
Look too good to be pumping your gas.
I was like what you gonna payfor it?

Speaker 2 (58:12):
Yeah, I'm like, is he gonna pay for it?
Oh, you wanted him Exactly MoveOkay.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
The next one for perspective.
I think I already kind of saidthis.
Who usually makes the firstmove in my experience has been
men.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
I'll be shooting my shot man.
I'm in there If I like what Isee.
Yeah, I'm gonna start with you.
You look good.
My mom seen it first hand.
You know how I get down Today.
Remember I slid up on thatstory and I was like you look
good.
You always put me my girlfriend.
I'm knowing she did I'm doing.

Speaker 1 (58:51):
That was so weird for me.
That's not me, not at allbecause she was my daughter, but
just because it's like you're afemale.
I'm just gonna pop with thatdude.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
I'm doing it.
That's crazy.
These new dudes be a littlesassy, so you gotta let them
know.
You gotta let them know I likeyou, not sassy.
You gotta let them know I likeyou, I want you and I need you.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Oh my god, I ain't nothing afraid.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Yo isn't that crazy, my what?
My first dude he got at me.
My first boyfriend he got at me.
Second situation I got at him.
A lot of my situations havebeen me Like what's up with you.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
Yeah.
They look like a small likeplayer dude, no listen listen,
the dudes that come at me Iusually be like leave me alone,
yeah, but the ones that I go atusually last longer because I
wanted you.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
Interesting.

Speaker 2 (59:45):
We gonna make it work .

Speaker 1 (59:47):
They say that in order for a relationship to be
successful, like somebody has tolike someone more, or something
, maybe saying to do the mangotta like the woman more.

Speaker 2 (59:59):
But I think my dudes like me because they like dang.
She got at me.
I feel good about myself.
Yeah, you do look good.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
He's so funny.
I got at a dude one time.
Well, does that count?
Anyway, I got at a dude onetime and I was slightly under
the influence and I bumped intohim and I was like, ooh, I'm
sorry.
And I looked at him and I waslike, ooh, no, I'm not.
I was like what's your name?
And it was like, what are youdoing?
You don't do that.
And it lasted all of two weeks.

(01:00:27):
But anyway, I also got Marcel'snumber, but I already knew he
liked me for a long time, thatdon't count.
So it didn't count.
Yeah, I was just like man.
Let me see what happened.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
I don't know the dudes be liking it when I do it.
That's hilarious.
They love it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
I can't and I don't think the women that I've been
around.
I feel the same Like nah, youpursue me.
I'm not about to ask younothing.
I would about proposing.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
No, I'm not proposing that man.
I'll start this relationship.
You gonna end it, baby, come on.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
Yeah, I can't groove with that.
To each his own.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
She looked good, she looked good.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
But a woman get down on her knee.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
Hey, do what you gotta do Wow, I think.
But hear me out, though.
I think we could both, becauseif I ever get proposed to, we're
both gonna get down on one knee.
What?
Yeah, because you ain't justgonna be on your knee, bro.
Stand up, bro, because now Ifeel weird, Now I feel like we
gotta be equal, so you gonna getdown too.
No, I'm not gonna get down, butcan you just stand up please?

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
You gonna get up and stand up and just give it to me,
man.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Okay, I'm gonna be emotional.
Okay, I'm just trying to leandown and hold you and stuff.
That's weird.
And then Marcel get down on oneknee.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
That's just weird to me.
Messed up your clothes andstuff bro.
Yeah, he was in the suit andeverything.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
Oh no, yeah.
Even watching that video to meis like oh my gosh, it gives me
nervous.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
Bro, I could use in love.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Oh Lord, okay, so the next questions, number four.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
What are the terms for relationship status?

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Girlfriend and boyfriend.
We are together or not, andtalking, we're talking.
It's usually talking stage,which means we're just getting
to know each other.
And then it like semi graduatesto this unknown title.

(01:02:38):
I mean we're exclusive, you'redating, but we're yeah, but you
can't date nobody else.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
You can talk to other people, but then we become
exclusive.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
We're dating and then we're in a relationship and
that's it.
That's just it for mygeneration, until Jada Pinkett.
Yeah, like, I feel like you gotwith Khaled.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
It's like okay, me, I'm very complicated because I
don't like to, like I used to beall in and like that just
didn't give me the right results.
So now I'm more like eh, wecool, Like cool me.
Like, yes, I'm a traction error, like, but we cool, we don't,

(01:03:23):
we don't even talk.
If anybody asked me if I know,you know, like you're not going
to embarrass me we cool.
And then after we get through,cool, we talking.
Now I'm letting people know,yeah, I talk to them, like, oh,
y'all official, no, we're notofficial, we just talking.
Then, after talking, then it'sdating and then after dating,

(01:03:44):
you might have a situation onyour hand.
Um, that situation, if itleaves, if it get out, the
situation stage we together,yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
We go together.
We go together real bad.
You're my boyfriend, you're myboyfriend.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
But if that situation comes after dating, cause
dating is like, oh, like, okay,like we've been outside, because
when you talking you don't gooutside, you don't need to be
seen in the public.

Speaker 1 (01:04:09):
So when you talking you don't go outside, Don't?

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
come outside with me.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
Don't Okay.
So that's different.
We just on the phone, weFaceTiming and stuff Okay, no.
When you talking, you can dateno, you can go on a date no,
okay.
You embarrassing me Okay yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
I'm like you can't be seen outside for real because I
don't need people thinking I'mreally with you, because you
might be messing up my othertalking stages.
Yeah, but when we dating likeyou, I can't be outside with
heck of different dudes.
Like I'm dating you but I'mtalking to other people though,
yeah, okay.
Then, once you get to thatsituation that's the unknown,

(01:04:48):
where it's like so what you'redoing, it's like so what you
doing, but you got two peoplethat don't know what they're
doing, it's going to be a littleweird.
It's going to be a little tense, a little chaotic.
Y'all not together, but y'alltogether.
That's when they be like you,my man, but you not my man, yeah
.
Then once you make it out there, you good.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
You good?
Yeah, that sounds soproblematic.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
It can be.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Like why even go to a situation?

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
Because I like you a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
So just go together.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
But if he don't want to, what if he not ready?
But like we both not ready,because now we put like doubts
in each other mind, because it'slike, do I really want to leave
like all my talking stagesbehind?

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Yeah, because this one made it to the situation.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
Scared.
You know this generation gotattachment issues.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
For real.
For real, because we just gotogether and then it don't work
out.
It don't work out.
Okay, that's crazy.
Okay, number five.
Hi, okay, number five.

Speaker 2 (01:05:49):
How do so?
How does your generation breakup All the quit Through text
over with rap?
Or you end up blocked in themorning, or the ghost, you and
ghost.
And it's different thanblocking, because blocking mean
like you really don't want me inmy life no more.
Like want me in your life, nomore.
That's crazy.
But then when you get ghostedit's usually like they don't
never take you back, but you canstill see them on socials.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
Okay, interesting, I think people, I mean maybe it's
the same.
I guess it's the same.
I'm going to go back topre-relationship.
I don't remember.
I mean I don't know what theyout there doing now.
But yeah, you like, usually wewould like, like we need to talk

(01:06:35):
.
It's usually what it was.
You get a text or a phone call,we need to talk, and you knew
what we need to talk meant andit's usually like a mix of
crying and somebody begging no,and stuff like that.
But that's usually how itstarts.
We need to talk.

(01:06:56):
Ghost then I feel like, cameabout later because I, you know,
I ghosted a couple of people.
We just kind of all right thenI was that was enough.
But yeah, we need like endingsomething that was like
meaningful or I don't know thatyou spent some time, you

(01:07:17):
invested some time and yeah,it's usually we need to talk, I
guess.
Yeah, breakups are so hard.

Speaker 2 (01:07:24):
Breakups don't happen for me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
Didn't we just have a question about what was your
hardest breakup?

Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
I broke up with him.

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
He ain't break up with me.
People don't break up with you.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
People don't break up with me they might ghost me
they coming back.

Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
So no one's ever said Jaila is not working.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
Yeah, but they came back, but I wasn't a breakup.
So, yes, it was.
It wasn't a breakup.
I broke up, he broke, I'm up.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
Oh, don't be a denial , come on, it's okay, they told
you.

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
I left him, though, so.

Speaker 1 (01:07:59):
Okay, I understand Now.
Breakups are hard.
I've been broke up with.
He came back but it was stillhurt.
It still was like a how couldyou, I'm her, this one dude man.
He threw my CDs on the freewaylike over the.

(01:08:20):
He just wanted to be so upsetand he threw my CDs over the
freeway wall like onto thefreeway from the street and that
I don't know that was.
That was back to the toxicity,yeah, and call me a kangaroo and

(01:08:44):
told me I'm sorry you roll forthat, you out there somewhere
you roll for that, but I don'tcare anymore at all.
But breakups were like like abig thing, like if you broke up
with somebody.
I feel like in my experiencethe person always got mad when I

(01:09:09):
would break up with them, likeyou just gonna leave me, I just
gonna leave me.
I never liked you anyway anddid it like come on, like let's
just, let's just not, huh.
So that's my experience.
But with any emotional breakupswhere it's just like you know
what, this isn't working.

(01:09:30):
I've had those two where it'slike it's so sad because it's
like dang, I thought this wasgoing to be something and it's
just like you got that sickfeeling and sitting in the bed
watching sad movies and stuffand and eating and crying and
stuff.
Yeah, that sucks.
Oh thank God I ain't had to feelthat, um, yeah, shall we move

(01:09:54):
on.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
Um.
What are your generationsrelationship inspiration?

Speaker 1 (01:10:04):
Um, I'm okay, I'm going to go post this current
era because I think before wewere inspired either by
relationships in our families oron movies, Like we really liked
those old stories about, youknow, like these whimsical

(01:10:28):
romances and these strong womenand their men who, would you
know, were protectors, and likein the streets he was one way,
but with you he was like softand and and you know, caring and
all this good stuff.
And I feel like we wereinspired by like by those type
of relationships, by, like youknow, the huckstables type

(01:10:53):
relationships and and likepoetic justice, right, and um
was that other one, uh, Jason'sLyric.
So those kind of relationshipswere very inspirational, I feel
like to my generation.
Um, and if you had, like I said, if you had your parents had
good relationships, which mine,mine did not, um, so that was

(01:11:14):
not my inspiration.
So, um, yeah, now I don't knowif please feel the same too.

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
Any rapper and his baby mama, bro, like that stuff
be blowing me because everybodylike oh my God goals.
I'm like okay, that's what youwant to be, man, Everybody want
to be a rapper.
Baby mama, Embarrassing.

Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
Like uh, who was that ?
Uh blue facing?

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
Okay, nobody wants to be like them.

Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
No, I've seen people.

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
Uh, I love this relationship.

Speaker 1 (01:11:47):
I've seen people, maybe not present day Like once
she got pregnant I guess thingschanged, but before we got to
have a whole podcast about them,because man yeah, that was.
That was all crazy, more likeI've seen it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:01):
Jada waita and little baby.

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
Even though.

Speaker 2 (01:12:05):
I despise her.
I do not like Jada waita.
I watched her on the impact.
Not a good person, whatever, orlike Ari and money bag.
Yo, I talk about Ari all thetime.
I love Ari so much.
I don't want to be like her,though, because her man got
eight kids.
Oh, yeah, so but people be likeI would love to be a rapper's
baby mama.
Yeah, that's easy.

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
No thanks, no thanks.
I want to be like.

Speaker 2 (01:12:29):
Brock and Michelle.

Speaker 1 (01:12:33):
I don't even know if I'm going to be like I do.

Speaker 2 (01:12:35):
Give me the president .

Speaker 1 (01:12:39):
I don't want the president.
That's a hard position and wedon't know what If you look at
those before and after picturesof when Brock was first
nominated to his, when hestepped out that office.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
He's seen some things .

Speaker 1 (01:12:53):
Exactly.
It's okay, that's my man.
Michelle's seen some things too.
I'm going to stick beside him.
I don't want to see none ofthat.

Speaker 2 (01:13:01):
I'm talking about the love, not what they went
through, the genuine love, oh,the love Okay.
I want that, tina, and.

Speaker 1 (01:13:07):
Ike love.
Huh, I'm ready to talk aboutthe bandaid and you talking
about?

Speaker 2 (01:13:19):
give me that, bobby and Whitney, if you don't die,
I'm going to kill you, hey.

Speaker 1 (01:13:24):
No, if you die, I'm going to kill you, is what he
said on that movie.
If you die, I'm going to killyou and me.
What?
What kind of crazy do you haveto be to say something like that
?
Is he still alive?

Speaker 2 (01:13:40):
I probably, who knows ?

Speaker 1 (01:13:43):
I love that movie, of course you did.
I don't know why, because itwas terrible, but I love, I
guess, her rise to I'm okay,you're funny, okay.
Next let's see, we have numberseven.
What do you feel is the bestthing about the relationships of

(01:14:08):
your generation and, incontrast, the worst?

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
I guess when we finally get into relationship
like genuine ones, they last alittle longer than y'alls.
Yeah, because y'all's like not.
Maybe not yours, but maybe thegeneration before yours.
Divorce, honey.
Everybody got divorced.

Speaker 1 (01:14:29):
Yeah, I think you see it on Instagram right now.

Speaker 2 (01:14:31):
Everybody get into divorce.
I think this generation istaking it much slower into
marriage, and are we going toactually be together?
I guess that's the best thing.
The worst thing, though, iseverybody wants to be a baby mom
before a wife, so they ratherhave your kid than to actually
have you.

Speaker 1 (01:14:53):
I would have to agree with that for your generation.
I don't know about your mind,but yeah, I agree.
The generation before me theyall call and they quit this
crazy.
I think a part of that, a lotof the reason for that, is the
need for marriage has changedand a lot of people get married
for the wrong reasons.

(01:15:13):
So you got to figure that stuffout before you go walking down
somebody's aisle.
And I'd say the best thing aboutmy generation's relationships
is that, honestly, I feel likethe women of my generation are

(01:15:38):
tapping into themselves more andfinding themselves outside of
who they are as mothers andwives and girlfriends, and the
men are finding ways tocompliment that.
And so, as far as therelationship, I feel like we are

(01:16:02):
my generation, like in ourright.
We're in our thirties now we'remaking sense of what love means
to and for us from anindividual and a coupled
perspective, and I'm hoping thatthat means that we will have
less divorce rates down the line.
And then I think the worstthing about it is that we're in

(01:16:25):
this and I think that isrelative to kind of a lot of the
things about my generation,because we're smack dab in the
middle of like old traditionsand tech, like the tech
generations, right, and we'rebetween the huckstables, love

(01:16:46):
and Jadaweta, like we're rightbetween them, and so a lot of us
kind of don't know which way wewant to go.
Like, we want to be like this,and so it's a lot of, you know,
young, you know, yeah, we stillyoung young men and women out
there doing a hot girl summerthing all year round, and then

(01:17:06):
you have some of them who havesettled into careers and are,
you know, just chilling out.
But I think, because of thatfactor of kind of being lost and
not really knowing, like, whichpart you want to play, it's it

(01:17:29):
just caused, I don't know.
I think a lot of confusion hasbeen caused because we were kind
of just stuck in between thesekind of different roles and
images of what love is supposedto look like.
So it's kind of a yeah, that'skind of what I think is the
worst thing.
And I think we are also theproduct of these failing

(01:17:52):
relationships in the twogenerations before us of our
parents who were either because,I mean, if you're an 80s baby
like me, then you likely had alot of exposure to drugs and
alcoholism and so we're productsof that, and so I think in our
30s now, a lot of us I thinkyeah, I think that's the worst

(01:18:15):
thing Like I've come acrosspeople my age that I went to
high school with, middle schoolwith, who are like drug addicts
together, like they're in arelationship and they're doing
drugs and like that's crazy tome.
I'm like are we too young to dodrugs Like I don't know, like
it's like crack, like we're tooyoung for that.

(01:18:36):
But so, yeah, that's really badbecause a lot of people my age
are doing really bad so that Iwent to school with and it sucks
.
So, yeah, number eight and Ithink our final versus.

Speaker 2 (01:18:57):
Who pays on the first date then from there?

Speaker 1 (01:19:09):
Oh man.
So post this decade, I thinkthe man, the expectation, was
the man.
Of course it depends on how oldyou were, but I think if you,

(01:19:33):
we were all afraid of like theoh I forgot my wallet comment,
because the expectation is thatthe man was supposed to initiate
the romance, as I mentionedbefore, and you're supposed to
pay.
It's so different now, but justspeaking generally
generationally, like in my 20s,I guess that was the expectation

(01:19:56):
.
And then from there, I think itdepends kind of is a mix of
like take turns, like you getthis, you get this date and I'll
get the next date.
Or you know, we have, we'rehaving experience where we're
going out for hours and havingmultiple experiences and you pay

(01:20:17):
for that and I'll pay for thiskind of thing.
So, and I think that's fine, Ithink I mean, do what works for
you.
At the end of the day, what doyou think?

Speaker 2 (01:20:29):
Yeah, I mean whoever asks, you know, whoever asks
Like, if I asked you, I'm gonnathink about paying.
If you ask me, I hope you thinkabout paying too, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:43):
But if you're ugly?

Speaker 2 (01:20:46):
there was just one time, that's all I tell you.
It was just one time.
I make it quick, though.
This is one time, just do thaton like a little day, whatever
we went.
But he was just the whole wrongvibe, like I just didn't want
to be there, I just threw like Ihad some cash on me, I put the
cash down.
I was like I got to go, Ididn't care how much it costs, I
just put the cash down.
I don't know, and I left.

Speaker 1 (01:21:06):
Hey, yep, did he call you?
Nope, I think he got themessage.

Speaker 2 (01:21:11):
I hope he did.

Speaker 1 (01:21:12):
Oh, my gosh Well we're going to wrap things up.
This has been a funconversation.
We hope you've enjoyed it.
Feel free to leave a reviewcomment on our Instagram page or
in the reviews and share yourdating do's and don'ts and any

(01:21:32):
stories you have to share.
Remember, every Wednesday we'redropping a new episode, so be
sure to like our social pagesand keep an eye out for us, and
we'll see you on the next one.
Thank you for spring cleards.