November 1, 2023 • 59 mins
Ever wondered how self-worth and personal strengths shape everyday lives? Buckle up as we, Caprie and Jaylah, embark on an enlightening journey to unpack these concepts using a fascinating framework proposed by Professor Christoper Mruk on types of self-worth. We take you along as we introspectively identify our strengths and discuss the power of acceptance, particularly during challenging times.
From an interesting chat about personal interests and strengths to examining how control in organizing can be a source of motivation, we weave in real-life examples to make these concepts relatable. We’re not just talking about it, we are living it! From the joys of simple things to how our love for Marie Kondo and organization shows, we reveal our unique strengths and how ancestral wisdom might be linked to our need to do things hands-on.
Finally, we delve into a captivating exploration of how others perceive us, the influence of compliments, and the crucial role of maternal figures in shaping our self-image. Plus, we ponder upon how laughter can be a powerful tool and how a lack of dependency on others can build strength. Come along, join us on this riveting journey as we recall our favorite school classes, and our inspirations, and discuss how our passions have influenced our lives – it’s a journey you don’t want to miss!
Resources:
Mind.org - https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/about-self-esteem/
Stark Wellness - https://www.starkwellness.com/25-powerful-questions-to-develop-your-self-worth-pdf/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everyone, welcome back to let's Talk Later.
I am your host, capri, and I'mJayla, and today we are gonna
talk about self-worth, knowingyour self-worth, questions that
you can ask yourself and theimportance of it.
So, in our true form andfashion, jayla and I will do
(00:26):
some Q and A and we'll have somediscussion.
Let's start us off as usual.
We're recording in the morningwhen the house is quiet all as
well.
It's actually the day before Igo back to work after a three
month leave, and wow is all Ican say.
(00:50):
I feel a lot of feelings, butwe gotta do what we gotta do
until we reach our next mark,right?
How are you this morning, jayla?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I'm good.
A new episode of Love Is Blinddropped and I'm addicted.
Love Is Blind is this like adating show yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Okay, never seen it.
Love Is Blind okay.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's really good.
I wanna get on the show one day.
If I'm not married by like 27,I'm gonna get on the show.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Oh they looking for marriage.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, okay, it's a good show.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I've never seen it.
I don't like those shows eversince.
Like was it a flavor of love,and I love New York and the real
chairs of love.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Those are reality.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
TV, but it was like they were looking for at least
they acted like they werelooking for love.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
No, this love is different.
Like, this way of like lookingfor love is so different.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
It's like science based.
Oh yeah, oh, that's cool.
So they are like matched bytheir answers.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Not this exact show, but like another show is, but
this one is like they're inthese pods and they like can't
see each other.
Like they have no idea what theother one looks like.
You just get to know peoplebased off of what they sound
like, what they say and thingslike that.
They say like is love blind,like that's their whole thing.
But there is another one it'scalled Married at First Sight
(02:18):
where they have a psychologist,a pastor and a sex therapist.
I think you have to fill out allthese like questionnaires and
they try to find you your onpaper best match.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, really good shows.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
There's also this other show on Netflix.
I don't know the name of it,but you pick the person based on
their body.
Oh, that's bad though, sothey're like naked in, like
these little chambers, and theyslowly come up.
They're like feet, knees,genitals, and you're like the
(02:57):
person is like who do you wantto keep and who do you want to
disqualify based on their body?
Yeah, it's terrible.
It's terrible.
They show it.
It's very live and direct.
Oh, okay.
They sound like they're fromthe UK or it's based in the UK.
But, yeah, I don't know.
(03:18):
Yeah, I don't know.
Go check it out if you want to,okay, well, anyway, cool, let's
get into it.
So just a couple of facts.
So the reason why I thought thiswould be a good idea, we chose
this as a topic, was it'simportant to know yourself worth
.
It's kind of the basis of youremotional compass, if you will,
(03:45):
when you are making decisionsabout jobs and relationships and
what you want in life.
If you don't have a gooddirectional point on who you are
and what you value and what youdeserve, then you tend to make
irrational decisions.
It's important to feel goodabout yourself and to accept
(04:11):
yourself, even like in momentsof negative or negativity excuse
me when you're making mistakesor when you're making bad
decisions.
It's a compass, like I said.
To come back, to increase yourresiliency, I would say.
(04:33):
And so there was this professor,and his theory is that there
are four types of self-worth.
I mean, when I think aboutself-worth, I'm thinking very
singular.
It's like this kind of what youexperience and feel about
yourself and how worthy you are.
But this professor says thatthe four types of self-worth are
(04:56):
low self-esteem, highself-esteem, worthiness-based
self-esteem and competence-basedself-esteem.
And so low self-esteem is veryrooted in what's happened to you
, how you feel about your body,your eyes, your hair, and high
as well.
High self-esteem is veryphysical.
(05:18):
It's very much the emotionsabout the physical around you.
And then worthiness-based ishow you feel about who you are
as a person, the things youvalue, the choices you've made
and so forth.
And then competence-basedself-esteem is how you feel
about what you're capable of, sowhat you are good at, what
you're not so good at, what youcan do, what you can't do.
(05:38):
So just a quick overview ofthose four types.
I thought that was veryinteresting.
So a little note to put in yourtool bag.
So we're gonna get started withthese questions.
I'll kick it off.
So, number one, jaila.
What are the first threestrengths that come to mind?
Your strength, Perseverance.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I think I'm pretty funny.
You know I'm not a lighten up amood and I'm a great listener,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Interesting, no, I'm sorry.
I'm not saying I disagree.
I was gonna say I'm saying it'sinteresting that I thought
something and you didn't saythat.
It's also interesting that youthink you're funny because for
like years you didn't think youwere funny you were like I don't
understand why people alwayslaugh when I say stuff.
But I guess now you've come toterms with-.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, sometimes I love to hear myself and I'm like
that was good.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
But I would say analytical, I keep.
No, she's not listening to me.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You just told me that I don't need to analyze
everything, and now I'm one ofmy strengths is analyzing
everything, but it's a skill.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
You just use it to your detriment.
Jaila, I'm telling you if I'mwrong, like I don't know I mean,
we'll obviously see in the nextfive to 10 years when she
decides.
You know her career path, but Itruly, truly think you will be
so good in organizationalanalysis because you look at
(07:18):
everything with such a finiteview of it.
Like this don't make no sense.
It shouldn't be done like that.
This should be changed.
Oh gosh, sorry I'm banging thetable, but anyway, I was
inorganized as well.
You can organize to a T, butthat's my perspective.
But okay, cool, it's like it'smine.
(07:50):
You know, I almost saidresilient, but I don't think
that's a strength.
I think that, honestly, I'vejust been in survivor mode all
my life and I think that'sdifferent from resilience in a
later episode.
So I think I would say I'm also.
(08:11):
I feel like I'm also a goodlistener Another strength,
strengths.
So good listening, what do youcall it?
Like, I don't know, is that?
I don't know if I call myself amediator?
No, not really.
I aspire to be, but I don'tthink I outwardly do it.
(08:36):
This is actually bad.
I shouldn't have this.
I really love like helping,like my heart of service, I feel
like, is one of my strength.
I love to help other people,and that can be all-encompassing
in personal, professional life.
(08:56):
And then, third, just mystrength I have overcome a lot
and I feel like it has made meinto a very while still working
well-rounded person, because Iam if something needs to get
(09:20):
done, I'm gonna get it done.
That's own period, that's whatyou always say.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
That was embarrassing .
Speaker 1 (09:30):
But no, for real I will, I will get it done.
And so just the strength, and Iguess I'll give it to
resilience.
Sorry, I'll take that back.
Oh, strength and resilience,yeah, taylor.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I'm about to read the next question Mm-hmm, what do
you like about yourself?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
I like my ability to find peace.
I like that I can think aboutsomething and just all of a
sudden be centered, Like I canjust kind of mentally come up
(10:15):
with a yeah, I don't know ascenario or a memory or
something, and be kind of, bringmyself back to center and say
you know what?
It's all, everything's fine,I'm fine, things are good.
That's on the I don't know,maybe spiritual or mental level.
And then the physical level.
(10:36):
I love my legs.
I'm just going to say that Ithink I have great legs.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
That's good mom.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Why.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
High five.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Okay, yeah, Okay, yeah sure, oh really.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I thought so.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Maybe, how Maybe?
There's stretch marks on theback of my leg.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Okay, well, hey if you want to tell everybody, go
ahead, bro, Open it out thereit's okay, do what you gotta do.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, okay.
What about for you?
What do you like about yourself?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
My personality.
Okay, I'd be buzzing.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah, so I just think I'm pretty cool, like I think
like, okay, like I got a littlenegatives, you know I could be a
dramatic and stuff like that,but otherwise I'm pretty cool,
like I'm fun to be around.
People love me.
Not to be like, ooh, I'm tuningmy own horn, but no, like you
(11:36):
know, it's very easy for likepeople to be like oh my God,
j-late, you're so fine.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, that's true, I try Once she opens up, because
she can be very cold, likerefrigerator mode, like turn it
all the way down.
But yeah, once you get to knowher and she trusts you and she's
comfortable around you,absolutely One of the best
people I know for a certain andI'm not saying that just because
(12:00):
you're my daughter.
Okay, I think the next questionis mine what are you proud of
in your life?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I don't know A lot.
I guess I'm proud of how farwe've come.
Yeah, what about?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
you, what about you singularly?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
What are you proud of about yourself?
I feel like I'm pretty greatwhen I'm asked that question you
think the song is about you?
No, I'm saying like I just feellike there are so many things
to be proud of.
That is just kind of like yeah,I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Just name one.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Just the fact that I've been through so much but, I
still.
That doesn't turn me intosomeone who is mad and angry.
I still try to find somethingto be happy about?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, okay, my first mind says my kids.
I am most proud of even my sonand his little years of life.
I'm so very proud of him.
I strongly believe that he isgoing to grow up and be an
(13:41):
amazing person.
He has such a good, positiveperspective.
He just wants to be happy andhave fun all the time.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
He's annoying but he does.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
I feel like he taught me the lesson If you're annoyed
because someone's happy, what'swrong with you?
For real, I'm so sorry.
Sometimes if it's too happy,I'd be like chill man, it's like
, okay, I need to get my lifetogether because he's happy, but
that's for real.
There are people that will see,people are like I hate morning
(14:17):
people.
People that wake up in themorning are like hi, good
morning, how's everyone?
And they hate those people.
But that's because something'sprobably wrong in you.
You wish you could be happylike that.
But yes, and just Jaila,because just everything, because
everything she's been throughand she's still just so wise and
(14:38):
so strong and so positive.
Yeah, like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
At 22,.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I was so different at 22.
Yeah, so, hey, I'm bad myselfwhen I'm back too, because I had
a little bit to do with that.
But singularly, I think I'm mostproud of probably the work that
I've done on myself this pastyear.
It's been hard and it's notdone, but I have done a lot of
(15:09):
inner work and self-reflectionand, yeah, it's brought me to a
place where I'm like it's almostlike once you become a new
person, you fight with the oldperson and the life that the old
person created, because it'slike I'm, like it feels, like
(15:29):
I'm telling myself like I don'twant this life, you may no more,
I don't want this.
And then she's like you can'tdo nothing about it right now,
though you got to live in it.
So it's like I'm stuck in thatyou know who's that, who's those
snakes?
I guess they're.
You know they're how they shed,like I'm in that, trying to
shed out of that skin.
(15:49):
And that's the hard part aboutgrowth, I think, is being
comfortable, or at least beingwilling to sit in the skin a
little longer until you can, youknow, finally release it.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
But yeah, Um, okay, what do you enjoy or love doing?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Dancing, um, dancing, that's.
That's always been my numberone.
I love writing, too, eventhough I don't do it as much I
(16:35):
miss it.
I would love to tap back intothat creative brain and I love
doing things with my hands, likea ceramics or beating and stuff
.
I love doing stuff with myhands building.
I'm an IKEA freak, like, if Ican make good money, like being
(16:56):
one of the IKEA's, like builders, the people you pay to come put
yourself together, I would dothat.
I would do it every day andthen dance on the weekends.
That would be my life forever.
Um, but yeah, yeah, that'sthat's.
Yeah.
I'm surprised that, like, maybeif life went different, I would
have been, um, not not been adancer, but I would have
(17:18):
definitely done something withdancing Um, maybe even just
taught, taught classes orchildren, or I do aspire to open
a dance studio, and not just astudio.
I want a big, huge space that Ican open up to Um others who
are in different fields of bodywork.
(17:38):
But yeah, yeah, that's, that'sdefinitely what I love.
What about for you?
What do you love doing?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Sleeping.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Oh God.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
A little to sleep, a little shop.
I like to give people advice.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Okay, yeah, what do you think of sleeping, shopping
and vice?
What could you, what could youdo with that?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I could become a personal shopper, could become a
test subject and sleep studiesand I could become a advice
giver.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, I mean, what are like celebrities?
Don't they have like stylists?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
I do not want to be a stylist.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
I like to shop.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
I like, like, if I'm going to target.
I like to have a list of thingsthat I need to like buy and I
like checking it off.
Interesting yeah so if theyneed like a personal assistant.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I can do that for sure.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Okay, I need to take a nap, oh okay, yeah, that's so
funny.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Okay.
So who's the next question onme?
Okay, what small things, and Iguess you just kind of named
some.
Do you do that you findextremely satisfying?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Oh, I like to pick at like dead skin.
I love that.
Like you know, we did that,like, um, we did the exfoliating
thing and I think that's.
Oh, I thought it was, I thoughtit was like.
I thought it was like what doyou find satisfying?
(19:32):
I'm like ooh, I got so many ofthese.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
J Lasnord is so love.
Oh my God, mom, yeah, just.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I mean maybe.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I enjoyed it too, but I don't think that's what this
this is about self worth, right?
I don't think that's what theymean.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Okay.
So I guess organizing, bro,Like I like you know organizing,
I like organizing anything butlike, in order for me to like
organize, I need to have fullaccess, Like I don't wanna go in
and organize something, I wantto just come in and organize it
(20:12):
before a bunch of stuff is therealready.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Okay, so you wouldn't want to like, but on that
hoarder show, no Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
They're dirty.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Oh not even the hoarder is like what are those
DIY, not DIY?
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Like those home shows where they go in and like I
want to just give the ideas, butI don't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Cause I don't want to touch your stuff.
This is your mess.
Now I feel like I'm cleaning upafter you.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, yeah, like Marie Kondo.
No, thank you, she didn't do it, she just gave them advice.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yeah, I would give advice.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Okay, that's cool.
Yeah, so the second part ofthat question is what strengths
could this point to?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
That I'm super organized, sometimes too much
yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
What do you think organizing does for you?
Like why do you think it'ssomething you enjoy and that
it's a strength?
Like what is it?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
It helps me maintain control of my environment.
Here you go, oh, psychoanalysisevery day.
Always means something.
I just like to be organized.
I feel that if you have a cleanenvironment in places and
everything has a place, thenthere's no room for error when
(21:28):
somebody else may be potentiallycleaning up, cause I know like
at my, like my apartment, myapartment is the go-to spot.
So if I have everything in agreat order and somebody needs
to clean up after themself, theyknow exactly where it belongs.
I don't have to show you morethan once.
Don't come to my house unlessyou are going to clean correctly
(21:49):
.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I will never forget.
This time I went to Jaila's oneof her no well, was I
considered an apartment whereyou stayed with them.
Okay, I don't know if they callthose dorms, I don't know, but
I went to her apartment.
She had a roommate and I wasstaying there for a little bit
(22:11):
and the roommate just kept likesweeping herself and she was so
adamant about telling me oh,jaila likes you to sweep first,
then vacuum, or something likethat.
You have to do both.
Like she's really serious aboutit.
And I just remember her facestanding in that kitchen holding
that darn broom and I'm likewhy are you sitting here telling
(22:34):
me what my daughter want me toclean?
Like Like chill girl.
But she was serious in her face.
It was just like no, for real.
Like you, I'm like, thank you,but go on, I got this Jaila not
about to tell me nothing aboutmy cleaning when I'm the one
(22:54):
that was cleaning like crazy.
Oh well, okay, okay.
So for me I will go back againto I definitely I like
organizing, but I'm not to yourlevel, like at all.
(23:15):
But like I would say, thingswith my like I said doing things
with my hands, like puttingthings together.
Helping, I mean definitely likehelping people feel welcome.
That's one of the things that'slisted on here.
It is big for me, like likebelonging and inclusion, like I
(23:42):
didn't realize how passionate Ifelt about those things until I
was put on this committee and itlike became a whole brain child
at work, because I know, Ithink, and I think that's
because for me I know how itfeels to not feel welcome and
not be included and I wanna makesure other people don't feel
(24:03):
that way.
And so, like, when I think about, like I said, shedding the skin
, like I think about like thetypes of things that I wanna do
in my lifelong term, I thinkabout like onboarding and
employee experience and thingslike that and events and
planning events and bringingpeople together for community or
whatever, like those thingsexcite me, those things motivate
(24:27):
me.
And so, yeah, I don't know whatdoing things with my hands
really has to do with things.
I don't know if it's just aneed to work through my hands,
like maybe it's like something Imean like funny but not funny.
Like maybe it's something downin my ancestral line, like maybe
(24:48):
they were doing things with I'mdead, jaila, you're sick.
And I like sick.
Like that Josh, you over herecracking lips, I think what's
her hand?
Just not talking about pickingin the field, jaila, I mean
other things with their handsDang, I mean maybe they were.
(25:12):
Honestly, I was telling Jaila athing a while ago that I did do
that DNA, not DNA, but like afamily tree thing and the last
person it could find it saidfield worker, like that was her
occupation.
So I'm pretty sure I am adescendant Like I'm not even
gonna say a descendant of slaves, because I don't like that.
I do have slaves in myancestral line, but I meant
(25:41):
others.
Maybe they were creatingbuilding homes, maybe they were,
you know, crushing herbs andpicking, you know they were the
gatherers.
Maybe like who knows, but Idefinitely my hands like almost
need to be busy.
And it's also instantgratification, like when,
especially Ikea, back to Ikeaman, you don't need to sponsor
(26:02):
me and give me some stuff, butwhen you have like all of those
boards and nails and pegs andall of these things and they
just it's just a mess, and thenyou put it together it's like,
yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
So maybe that's just what it feeds for me, but okay,
next question All right, this isgonna be what others think, and
you need to consider positiveways.
You are seen by others.
Screw these people really,though.
Question six what do you getcomplimented on?
(26:39):
Second part what could be thestrengths that lie underneath?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I get complimented on the way I am as an individual.
People always tell me that Iseem so calm.
If only they knew I seem socalm and warm-natured and
inviting.
(27:09):
I seem so calm and warm-naturedand inviting.
(27:30):
I get complimented on a lot.
(27:54):
I also get good insight.
If you catch me at the righttime, you can spill your
information and tea.
It's something that resonateswith me or I have experience
with.
I can give you a goodperspective to make you consider
(28:16):
some other things.
What was the second part ofthat?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
What could be the strengths that lie underneath
with that?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I don't know what you would call the skill or
strength.
You don't always have to be anemotional wreck or an emotional
mess, even if you do have thingsyou're going through.
(29:00):
It doesn't have to be who youare.
It doesn't have to be how youpresent yourself, knowing how to
pull it all back in.
I think that is a strength Also, having the know-how and the
resources and the support toheal whatever things are causing
you to have that about yourcharacter.
(29:21):
You are anxious all the time,or suffering from depression or
whatever.
Be sure to heal those things.
It comes hand in hand.
What do you get complimented on?
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I feel like I notice a lot of people say J-Liz is so
motherly.
A lot of people treat me in thesame regards.
People will call my phone andbe like A I don't feel good.
What's that stuff you'd bedoing?
(29:55):
I'm like, really, that's justmy mom.
I'm like we can always go toJ-Liz's house or if we ever need
anything, we know J-Liz, we cancount on J-Liz.
I'm very dependable.
I guess I don't know a strength.
I feel like it's nice to belike people can depend on me,
(30:20):
but I think that it comes fromnot being able to depend on
other people in my life.
I have to be dependable becauseI ain't dependable nobody.
I depend on my mom, but youknow what I'm saying.
It's you and then there's me.
That's just how it is.
I guess it is a strength thatcame from a downfall down.
(30:43):
What's the word?
I'm thinking about?
A lack.
It was a strength that camefrom a lack of it.
I couldn't depend on others, soI had to become dependable.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
That makes sense.
I feel like I've heard thatthroughout my life, that that
happens where you become whatyou didn't have, like I said,
making people feel welcome andincluded.
I didn't feel that.
So it's like I became theperson to create that space, one
(31:14):
of the people, because there'sso many others out there
creating those spaces.
Yeah, I would agree.
I've had someone call me thattoo.
An old boss actually said youbecame like the mother or
something, something maternalaround here, Well, you are a mom
(31:35):
, Right?
I mean, yeah, you know, what'sfunny is that I am a mom, I've
been a mom for almost 23 years,half my life.
Yeah, more than half my lifeMore.
And I don't feel like maternalif that makes sense, like I
(32:00):
don't feel like what I see whenI hear the word maternal is
someone that's very you know.
Come in and sit down and let memake you a grandpa.
Yeah, Like I feel like that'smaternal and I'm like, oh, you
can come in.
You know, I'm about to cook foryou.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
I'm already cooking maybe.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
But at the same time, when I came down Atlanta and I
did cook for everybody, that didfeel good, like it was like,
look at these little jits, thatwas your college.
Yeah, I was like that was cool,they like my food and stuff and
they just feeling good and itcreated a space.
I like it.
But it's just not my first.
You know, it's not the firstthing I'm going to do.
(32:45):
Maybe I'm thinkinggrandmotherly and not maternal.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Interesting, okay.
Next question when are we?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Seven Mm-hmm Is yours , no.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Okay, it's mine.
What would your partner or bestfriend say are your top three
strength?
You could?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
be an old partner.
Lea, my best friend would.
I don't even, to be honest.
Oh, my God, my three strengths.
Well, I know for a fact she'slike bro, you're super strong,
like you have like held so manypeople together and held
yourself together.
She says I'm funny too.
(33:36):
So yeah, she thinks I'm prettyhilarious and that's a strength
in itself, because I feel likeif you find humor in some of the
most like depressing situations, it just changes the whole mood
.
And she'll probably also sayanother strength of mine is
(33:57):
having tough skin, like justletting things sometimes just
roll off, like it's not evennecessary to respond.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Okay.
Yeah, that's what she bettersay about me Don't listen to you
, so this would maybe bedifferent.
So my partner or my husbandmust be nice.
I'm doing a long road to gethere, long road would say.
(34:26):
My top three strengths are myhumor, same, my warm nature, or
my warm nature and like my whatdo you call it?
(34:49):
Like how I motivate others.
Like I pour into people and tryto make them like feel good.
And, you know, keep thedetermination.
Like you know you're doing great, don't stop and look at what
you've done and look at whatyou've come from and like kind
of like pouring into people, mybest friend, I mean my best
(35:13):
friends, but I think, in ageneral, across all of them, I
think it would be different ifyou ask each person honestly,
because if I think about all ofthem, I think that I give them
different things.
But I think it would be again,it would be humor, it would be
(35:33):
you know that I'm personable,like I'm very down, I'm good
natured, I'm down to earth, youknow I'm me, I'm authentic.
And then I think it would bethird thing, I think it would be
yeah, I'm a good listener, likeI want to hear from you, I want
(35:57):
to hear about what's going onin your life, and you know I'm
here to support and however Ican.
So, yeah, okay, I'm interested,jaila, to know what a an ex
partner might think were yourstrengths, even though you're
not partnered currently.
Like what do you think Any anyany old, uh, old flame.
(36:20):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Like okay, one string .
Speaker 2 (36:35):
She's helpful.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
She's helpful.
Okay, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Yeah, it's good to be helpful?
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Yeah, sure, as long as you're deserving.
Sometimes we don't know thatuntil after, though, right?
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Next question.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Okay, what would your family say?
Your strengths are.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
It depends on who.
It always depends on who.
It says consider each family.
I'm not about to consider eachfamily member Black.
If I had a general answeracross everyone that I would
consider, I would say I don'tknow what to put a word to it.
(37:25):
Basically like like, oh man,she had a kid young and look at
her now like she's.
She's doing well for herself.
Like she's.
I don't know what you'd callthat, though.
Like I don't know.
I don't know what you call it.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Mom, you're the English major woman.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Like I go to you for definitions, don't look at me.
I mean what do you?
I mean I wouldn't saysuccessful, because I'm not
where I want to be yet, but Ihave succeeded.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
So maybe beat the odds.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
I don't know.
See, this is why I didn't wantto answer.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
They say I mean, yeah , maybe it could, it works.
They, I've beat the odds.
I I, you know, bought thestigma.
I don't know, was it three orjust string?
Speaker 2 (38:22):
It was just straight.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Okay, strengths are yeah, I beat the odds, I have
good humor, I'm good natured, Icare about others.
It's what I think my familywould say.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
I would not say that because you're not funny.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I'm kind of funny, chill, we be laughing, we be
laughing together, man, chill,man, we be laughing, we be
laughing, we be laughing.
Okay, what about your family?
Well, you are my family, I know, but others, all of us just
think across everyone.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I mean probably, I don't know.
I say what I want to say.
Jailer has no filter.
That's a strength.
Well, no truth, that's Jailer.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
This is correct, okay .
Yeah, pretty cool too, yeahsure.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Next question what do your friends admire about you?
What do you get asked to helpwith?
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Everything.
Aliyah will ask me to help herwith building something.
She will ask me how do I usethis?
How do I do this Jailer?
You ever seen this before?
Oh man, I don't know everything.
You know what she just admittedto me.
She admitted that when dudes ohwait, I can't be well, that's
(39:46):
not exposing her yeah, true.
That's not exposing her, okaywhen dudes like when I say dudes
sometimes I mean like femalesand males like people.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Okay, when people.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah, when people call Aliyah and be like oh, I'm
not feeling too well.
Oh okay, she called me and tellme you remember that one time
you pat me, put my, my, my, my,my, my, my nose over the pot and
she going to tell me that shebe saying this stuff to people
so that she come off as likeintelligent and like all this
stuff, not saying, my friend,not intelligent, but don't be,
don't be used to me.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
You know it's even funnier, is you got that from me
?
Speaker 2 (40:24):
And the thing is right.
I tell her.
I'm like, oh, I remember thisone time my mom had me put.
And then I call you on my momwith the stuff that you put in
the pot.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
That's how it's supposed to go.
It's supposed to carry downthrough generations.
Yeah, but that's what.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I'm good for that's what they call me and ask me
resourceful.
Yeah, I'm everybody resource.
Okay, I remember this one timemy homeboy asked me to cook
dinner and pretend that he madeit.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
I think you told me that, so he could impress
someone.
Yep.
I'm just the help you to helpmakes for good stories.
Um, man, what do the what theyadmire about me?
I mean, I guess this is thewhat do you get asked to help
(41:09):
with must be the way you wouldanswer the admiration piece.
But I usually again, it's verydependent on the friend Either I
get asked for like professionaladvice or I get asked for like
relationship advice, andsometimes I'd be like, why are
you asking me?
(41:29):
I mean, yes, I am married, yes,I've been in a relationship for
11 years, but I'm a hero tryingto figure stuff out just like
everybody else.
Um, but I guess it is valuableto get another perspective from
someone in a situation differentthan you.
So sure, um, so it's usuallyadvice.
(41:50):
You know either relationship oryou know some kind of
relationship.
There'd be intimaterelationship, or family, um, or
other friends, or professionaladvice, um, and so I guess that
would mean that they admire,admire my intellect and my
experience or perspective.
I feel like I'll set that a fewtimes.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Okay, okay, uh, next question what would your
coworkers say are your strongpoints?
Speaker 1 (42:23):
I feel like I kind of alluded to this a little bit.
Um, that's what I well, when Isaid that I'm always so calm and
even tempered.
Um, that's that's at work.
As everyone says, I'm easy totalk to.
Um, I'm very human, which iscrazy because we're all humans
but I think we forget that,especially in human resources,
(42:46):
where, um, it's a lot aboutpolicy and um, politics honestly
feels like they says you're so,not HR, like you're, you're so
human, you're so warm and youseem like you really do care, Um
, and so that usually comes fromclients.
But if you're talking aboutlike co-worker specifically, I
(43:08):
think they would say that um, um, like what do you call it?
It's flexible, Like I'm willingto help and willing to try
something new and try somethingdifferent, and, um, and yeah, I
don't know what else, I'm sorry,I don't care.
Um, what about you?
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Um, um, um.
I don't really have co-workersanymore, because I just just me,
bruh.
Um well, think about what Isandboxed this is not
promotional and I am not sayinggo work at sandbox VR.
My co-workers would say Jailais extra, jaila don't play no
(43:53):
games with y'all and Jaila don'tlike y'all.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Oh yeah, sure, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Okay, cool, okay, we are going into the final section
and these questions are aroundtimes you've been at your best
and what lies underneath yoursuccess.
So, jaila, what were yourfavorite subjects or classes in
(44:27):
school and why?
Speaker 2 (44:30):
You know, surprisingly, it was history and
psychology.
Yeah, but I think it wasbecause I had a really good
history teacher and she didn'tlike sugarcoat the whole.
Oh my God, americans are great.
No, she was like we suck.
We do a lot of bad things and Iwant you guys to write me a
paper about how much we suck.
I'm like for sure, for sure,you guys are ready to write.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Ready.
Okay, but the content wasn'tinteresting.
It was the teacher, more youthink.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Well, I mean, the way she taught the content was like
, wow, like.
I used to not get good gradesin like history, because it was
just a lot about memorizing likethe dates of wars and stuff and
I don't know anything aboutthat, but she made it like you
know.
She literally told us like bro,minorities built this country.
Bro, stop thinking that thewhite man did, and I'm like it's
(45:20):
kind of real, and what was she?
She was a white woman, okay.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
This was high school yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Pali, take your kid to Pali.
They just better know how tofight For real.
Yeah, and be very outspoken andself advocate heavily.
Yeah, but I mean in thepsychology part, that's obvious.
I just like to know aboutpeople's problems, and sometimes
(45:46):
my own.
I think I was in class like bro, I think me and my mom got this
.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
That was, I think, your first year of college.
Well, I'm in this lecture, man.
I'm pretty sure Self discoveryis beautiful.
But, yeah, what about you?
English, Creative writing andanything, oh wait, no, well,
yeah, anything.
Music I had a drum class lovedit.
(46:14):
Piano class loved it.
And then back to the hands.
I had a ceramics and a woodshop classes loved them.
I loved the wood shop so muchthat I asked my wood shop
teacher to teach me how to playthat.
I asked my wood shop teacher todeliver my diploma.
When I walked across the stageand everybody was like why would
you ask Mr Leaper?
(46:34):
Like you know, it was like oh,I'm sorry, mr Leaper, the weird
wood shop teacher guy, but Iloved his class and I loved like
making.
I would always bring home thosestools and desks and benches
and shelves and it was so fun.
And then looking me heretalking about I can building
things.
But wood shop was really fun,but creative writing was my
(46:59):
absolute favorite, like I don'tknow why I didn't major in
creative writing, even though Idon't know what I would done
with it, but at least I wouldhave been doing something I
loved.
So, yeah, I think in the wisewere everything that is me.
It just I love writing, I lovemusic, I love dancing, I love
all of it.
So, yeah, those always were myfavorite classes as far back as
(47:22):
I can remember.
I hated math, I hated history.
Science was all right, I mean,you get to mix some stuff
together and fool around, Iguess, but you can make ice
cream.
We ain't no ice cream, yeah, wemade ice cream.
And then I got to skip homebecause I had a baby at home, so
I didn't know, our home eggwasn't about babies.
(47:44):
That's so funny we don't know.
It totally was about havingkids and how to like do a crew,
maintain a household.
I think we cooked once.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
Our home echo is yeah , we had the cooking, we had
sewing, we had middle whitepeople skills.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Stay at home.
My lady, I don't know.
I'm like where did I learn howto sew?
No, I wasn't at school.
I think grandma made me out ofso, okay, all right.
Next question.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
When have you felt most energized?
What were you doing?
Right here you go.
I already know your answer what, what I'm dancing, what?
Speaker 1 (48:33):
Why you hate me.
I was actually going to say inmy latest endeavors teaching my
step fitness classes ma'am,that's basically dancing, All
right yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
You know, when somebody passion, become a like
whole personality, that is you.
You're like I love it so much.
I do, man, I'm kidding, bro,you make me never want to think
about it again.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
None, which is crazy, because you don't dance Exactly
and that's why I never dance.
It's like how did that happen?
You don't even like to dancewhat you do in the club, what
you do.
I went up gang signs and twostepping like give me another
shot.
That's what I do I do, though.
(49:25):
I love dancing Like this.
This is no better feeling.
It's fun and it's good for yourmental health too, like when
I'm dancing and doing thefitness classes.
I don't, why are you lookinglike that?
You don't respond to all yourfaces because you're doing them
all free.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
You don't have a camera yet, so this is you, girl
, you tell me about it.
Yes, I'm not going to lie, I'mnot trying to be rude, I'm like
man.
All right, you need to pick upanother hobby.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
No, no, I will not.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
I will not sign you up for task rabbits, get to
building a staff.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
Oh man, I love building.
Something about putting thosenails on that one.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
Imagine the way you talk about dance.
Imagine somebody talked aboutbuilding.
The way you talk about step anddance.
I'm like no, I'm not trying tobe no hater, I love that you
found a passion.
I'm like, yes, go mom.
So, yeah, we'd be like, let metell you about my fitness class.
And then, lady, I'm rough.
She made a mistake, mom.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
All right, everybody gets a good pre.
Loves to dance?
Okay.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Hey, listen, you've talked about this like 100,000
times in this one podcast, bro.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
Cuz this the questions, and then this is
crazy, no but listen, bob.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Listen the next question, right.
What have you created andbrought into the world?
Speaker 1 (51:05):
I'm not going to say that.
I wasn't going to say thatYou're sick.
Go ahead, mom when have you feltmost energized?
When I'm teaching other people,and it doesn't have to just be
step, even at work, when I'mteaching people about systems or
(51:29):
a new tool.
I like teaching people.
I figure that I do not want tobe an instructor of, like a
college or middle school teacheror something like that.
I do not aspire to do that, butI do enjoy teaching someone a
new skill you can see, you know,like the joy on their face when
(51:50):
they, like you know, likemaster something or they, you
know, complete something.
You can see, like you know,being a part of that journey.
It's cool.
So it's not just about dance,it's just it's about giving
others something and holdingthem accountable.
So that's what I was going tosay, jayla.
(52:12):
So what about you when you feltenergized when you're sleeping?
Speaker 2 (52:17):
I want to wake up from a good nap.
Yes, actually, I feel the mostenergized.
I actually surprisingly whenI'm like providing I think that
may be one of my love languageslike acts of service.
I really, really, really feelso happy and in like, oh, I'm
(52:39):
doing this for them, Like I'mdoing this out the kindness of
my heart.
Yeah, when I'm doing somethingfor somebody else, I feel so
good about it.
Speaker 1 (52:50):
Like?
What kinds of things Do youmean?
Like in, like your job?
No, people I love, okay.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
And you know what y'all.
Let me tell you somethingthat's really disrespectful of
Marcel, and I hope you listeninto this podcast part, but you
just turned the vacuum on whilewe're trying to do a podcast and
I'm going to leave this part in, just so y'all know what I do
it, yeah, and then he huffingand puffing.
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Oh God.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
But yeah, like like I don't know, like, especially if
it's like if it's your birthday, I love to like go and like I
don't know what it is.
It just gives me so much likejoy that it like energizes me
for like maybe two days and I'mdone.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
Yeah, okay, yeah, so more volunteer.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like I don't like
them people.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
So would you sign up for volunteer?
I definitely listen.
Speaker 2 (53:46):
I'm just going to put on my number's gonna put on my
resume, but you didn't do it.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
Yes, I did.
You don't know who's listening.
I doubt they're listening.
You never know.
You didn't do anything yet.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
Yeah, I did, because it's already on my resume.
So you stop this.
You're going down first Nextquestion.
Speaker 1 (54:09):
Okay, okay mom, this is my question.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (54:17):
Okay, I haven't done anything, though.
Speaker 2 (54:20):
What have you created and brought into the world?
Speaker 1 (54:23):
From childhood to now .
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Me, Yo kids.
That the answer.
Speaker 1 (54:30):
I mean, what have I created?
I mean, these are kind of theonly things I've created is you
and then brother.
But I think also I have createdlike for others or something
that the rest of the world cantap into.
(54:52):
Is I do?
I really do find myself assomeone who it has created a
sense of like, peace andbelonging for others and
personally and professionally, Ihave brought that into the
world and I feel really goodabout that and I hope to bring
(55:13):
in more of that.
Like one day I want to be inthe woods and I want to lead a
retreat of wild women and I wantthem all to like, scream and
cry together and do I don't knowdo things Like I want to bring
women together to find peace andfriendship, connection,
(55:34):
whatever else.
Yeah, life's going to be somethings, but yeah, you don't feel
like you've created or broughtanything.
You have.
What if I created maybe notcreated, but you brought into
the world peace?
I'm not Understanding.
Speaker 2 (55:56):
Player, playerism self-awareness You're not proud
of that I'm always proud, proud,of everything I do.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
Well, that's good, he should be Excuse me.
Well, that was the end of ourQ&A.
I do just want to leave offwith a couple of practices in
order to develop a sense of selfand build self-worth, and so
this comes from mindorg mindM-I-N-D dot org.
(56:35):
And number one is get to knowyourself, what makes you happy,
what you value in life.
Get to know those things andmake them a part of your regular
practices.
Two try to challenge unkindthoughts about yourself.
If you're ever feeling down andsaying you know I look ugly
today or I think I'm feeling alittle too big, whatever, like
(57:00):
I'm beautiful, I'm loved, I'mgood and I'm going to go for a
run, or whatever, you're kind ofchallenging against yourself.
Three, very similar to staypositive things to yourself.
You know I am beautiful, I amsmart, I am intelligent, I am
welcoming, I am peace, all ofthese things.
(57:23):
Practice saying no and rememberthat no is a complete sentence.
No does not have to have anexplanation.
You know, usually when we sayyes, there's nothing that
follows.
If somebody asks us to dosomething, we say yeah.
We don't explain why we'resaying yeah.
Right, so if you say no, youdon't need to say oh no, I'm
sorry because I have this otherthing.
(57:44):
No, I'm sorry, I already youknow.
No, you heard us silent.
That was it Four.
I'm sorry, that was four orfive.
Try to avoid comparing yourselfto others.
You, you, you, you, especiallyin the era of social media where
(58:05):
everybody is, you know, puttingup life as they want to do,
life as they want it to be seen,not saying that everybody fake
on social media, but no one, orvery few people, are going to
show you the bad.
They're going to show you thegood, the glitz, the glam, the
shiny, the bright.
So if you're constantly saying,man, I wish I had a life like
that man, I wish I had a familylike that man I wish, instead of
(58:27):
wishing and putting that onyourself, go do it, go be that
person, go find that family, gofind that life.
And then the final thing is dosomething nice for yourself in
every, every day.
I mean five minutes.
You could do some deep, somemindful breaths, some deep
breathing.
That's something good foryourself.
Five minutes in a day, once aweek.
(58:47):
Go get a massage, go take awalk, go get together with
friends.
You know, it's just somethinggood for yourself.
Go get a you know a haircut ora mani pedi or a facial or
things like that.
Like, if you think of all thehours we have in a day, there's
time for you, so remember tomake time for yourself and and
and do something good, andthat's it.
(59:10):
I will be sure that we linkthese resources, some of the
questionnaires and the resourcesand the links that we talked
about today in the show notesfor your reference and, as
always, like comment, subscribe,keep a lookout for us.
Wednesdays or a new episodedrop.
Jaila, do you have any partingwords?
Speaker 2 (59:32):
No.
Speaker 1 (59:33):
She's so extra.
All right, y'all take care, beat peace, be good to one another
.
We'll see you next time.
Hey everyone, welcome back to let's Talk Later.
I am your host, capri, and I'mJayla, and today we are gonna
talk about self-worth, knowingyour self-worth, questions that
you can ask yourself and theimportance of it.
So, in our true form andfashion, jayla and I will do
(00:26):
some Q and A and we'll have somediscussion.
Let's start us off as usual.
We're recording in the morningwhen the house is quiet all as
well.
It's actually the day before Igo back to work after a three
month leave, and wow is all Ican say.
(00:50):
I feel a lot of feelings, butwe gotta do what we gotta do
until we reach our next mark,right?
How are you this morning, jayla?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I'm good.
A new episode of Love Is Blinddropped and I'm addicted.
Love Is Blind is this like adating show yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Okay, never seen it.
Love Is Blind okay.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's really good.
I wanna get on the show one day.
If I'm not married by like 27,I'm gonna get on the show.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Oh they looking for marriage.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, okay, it's a good show.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I've never seen it.
I don't like those shows eversince.
Like was it a flavor of love,and I love New York and the real
chairs of love.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Those are reality.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
TV, but it was like they were looking for at least
they acted like they werelooking for love.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
No, this love is different.
Like, this way of like lookingfor love is so different.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
It's like science based.
Oh yeah, oh, that's cool.
So they are like matched bytheir answers.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Not this exact show, but like another show is, but
this one is like they're inthese pods and they like can't
see each other.
Like they have no idea what theother one looks like.
You just get to know peoplebased off of what they sound
like, what they say and thingslike that.
They say like is love blind,like that's their whole thing.
But there is another one it'scalled Married at First Sight
(02:18):
where they have a psychologist,a pastor and a sex therapist.
I think you have to fill out allthese like questionnaires and
they try to find you your onpaper best match.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, really good shows.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
There's also this other show on Netflix.
I don't know the name of it,but you pick the person based on
their body.
Oh, that's bad though, sothey're like naked in, like
these little chambers, and theyslowly come up.
They're like feet, knees,genitals, and you're like the
(02:57):
person is like who do you wantto keep and who do you want to
disqualify based on their body?
Yeah, it's terrible.
It's terrible.
They show it.
It's very live and direct.
Oh, okay.
They sound like they're fromthe UK or it's based in the UK.
But, yeah, I don't know.
(03:18):
Yeah, I don't know.
Go check it out if you want to,okay, well, anyway, cool, let's
get into it.
So just a couple of facts.
So the reason why I thought thiswould be a good idea, we chose
this as a topic, was it'simportant to know yourself worth
.
It's kind of the basis of youremotional compass, if you will,
(03:45):
when you are making decisionsabout jobs and relationships and
what you want in life.
If you don't have a gooddirectional point on who you are
and what you value and what youdeserve, then you tend to make
irrational decisions.
It's important to feel goodabout yourself and to accept
(04:11):
yourself, even like in momentsof negative or negativity excuse
me when you're making mistakesor when you're making bad
decisions.
It's a compass, like I said.
To come back, to increase yourresiliency, I would say.
(04:33):
And so there was this professor,and his theory is that there
are four types of self-worth.
I mean, when I think aboutself-worth, I'm thinking very
singular.
It's like this kind of what youexperience and feel about
yourself and how worthy you are.
But this professor says thatthe four types of self-worth are
(04:56):
low self-esteem, highself-esteem, worthiness-based
self-esteem and competence-basedself-esteem.
And so low self-esteem is veryrooted in what's happened to you
, how you feel about your body,your eyes, your hair, and high
as well.
High self-esteem is veryphysical.
(05:18):
It's very much the emotionsabout the physical around you.
And then worthiness-based ishow you feel about who you are
as a person, the things youvalue, the choices you've made
and so forth.
And then competence-basedself-esteem is how you feel
about what you're capable of, sowhat you are good at, what
you're not so good at, what youcan do, what you can't do.
(05:38):
So just a quick overview ofthose four types.
I thought that was veryinteresting.
So a little note to put in yourtool bag.
So we're gonna get started withthese questions.
I'll kick it off.
So, number one, jaila.
What are the first threestrengths that come to mind?
Your strength, Perseverance.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I think I'm pretty funny.
You know I'm not a lighten up amood and I'm a great listener,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Interesting, no, I'm sorry.
I'm not saying I disagree.
I was gonna say I'm saying it'sinteresting that I thought
something and you didn't saythat.
It's also interesting that youthink you're funny because for
like years you didn't think youwere funny you were like I don't
understand why people alwayslaugh when I say stuff.
But I guess now you've come toterms with-.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, sometimes I love to hear myself and I'm like
that was good.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
But I would say analytical, I keep.
No, she's not listening to me.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You just told me that I don't need to analyze
everything, and now I'm one ofmy strengths is analyzing
everything, but it's a skill.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
You just use it to your detriment.
Jaila, I'm telling you if I'mwrong, like I don't know I mean,
we'll obviously see in the nextfive to 10 years when she
decides.
You know her career path, but Itruly, truly think you will be
so good in organizationalanalysis because you look at
(07:18):
everything with such a finiteview of it.
Like this don't make no sense.
It shouldn't be done like that.
This should be changed.
Oh gosh, sorry I'm banging thetable, but anyway, I was
inorganized as well.
You can organize to a T, butthat's my perspective.
But okay, cool, it's like it'smine.
(07:50):
You know, I almost saidresilient, but I don't think
that's a strength.
I think that, honestly, I'vejust been in survivor mode all
my life and I think that'sdifferent from resilience in a
later episode.
So I think I would say I'm also.
(08:11):
I feel like I'm also a goodlistener Another strength,
strengths.
So good listening, what do youcall it?
Like, I don't know, is that?
I don't know if I call myself amediator?
No, not really.
I aspire to be, but I don'tthink I outwardly do it.
(08:36):
This is actually bad.
I shouldn't have this.
I really love like helping,like my heart of service, I feel
like, is one of my strength.
I love to help other people,and that can be all-encompassing
in personal, professional life.
(08:56):
And then, third, just mystrength I have overcome a lot
and I feel like it has made meinto a very while still working
well-rounded person, because Iam if something needs to get
(09:20):
done, I'm gonna get it done.
That's own period, that's whatyou always say.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
That was embarrassing .
Speaker 1 (09:30):
But no, for real I will, I will get it done.
And so just the strength, and Iguess I'll give it to
resilience.
Sorry, I'll take that back.
Oh, strength and resilience,yeah, taylor.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I'm about to read the next question Mm-hmm, what do
you like about yourself?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
I like my ability to find peace.
I like that I can think aboutsomething and just all of a
sudden be centered, Like I canjust kind of mentally come up
(10:15):
with a yeah, I don't know ascenario or a memory or
something, and be kind of, bringmyself back to center and say
you know what?
It's all, everything's fine,I'm fine, things are good.
That's on the I don't know,maybe spiritual or mental level.
And then the physical level.
(10:36):
I love my legs.
I'm just going to say that Ithink I have great legs.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
That's good mom.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Why.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
High five.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Okay, yeah, Okay, yeah sure, oh really.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I thought so.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Maybe, how Maybe?
There's stretch marks on theback of my leg.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Okay, well, hey if you want to tell everybody, go
ahead, bro, Open it out thereit's okay, do what you gotta do.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, okay.
What about for you?
What do you like about yourself?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
My personality.
Okay, I'd be buzzing.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah, so I just think I'm pretty cool, like I think
like, okay, like I got a littlenegatives, you know I could be a
dramatic and stuff like that,but otherwise I'm pretty cool,
like I'm fun to be around.
People love me.
Not to be like, ooh, I'm tuningmy own horn, but no, like you
(11:36):
know, it's very easy for likepeople to be like oh my God,
j-late, you're so fine.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, that's true, I try Once she opens up, because
she can be very cold, likerefrigerator mode, like turn it
all the way down.
But yeah, once you get to knowher and she trusts you and she's
comfortable around you,absolutely One of the best
people I know for a certain andI'm not saying that just because
(12:00):
you're my daughter.
Okay, I think the next questionis mine what are you proud of
in your life?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I don't know A lot.
I guess I'm proud of how farwe've come.
Yeah, what about?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
you, what about you singularly?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
What are you proud of about yourself?
I feel like I'm pretty greatwhen I'm asked that question you
think the song is about you?
No, I'm saying like I just feellike there are so many things
to be proud of.
That is just kind of like yeah,I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Just name one.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Just the fact that I've been through so much but, I
still.
That doesn't turn me intosomeone who is mad and angry.
I still try to find somethingto be happy about?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, okay, my first mind says my kids.
I am most proud of even my sonand his little years of life.
I'm so very proud of him.
I strongly believe that he isgoing to grow up and be an
(13:41):
amazing person.
He has such a good, positiveperspective.
He just wants to be happy andhave fun all the time.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
He's annoying but he does.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
I feel like he taught me the lesson If you're annoyed
because someone's happy, what'swrong with you?
For real, I'm so sorry.
Sometimes if it's too happy,I'd be like chill man, it's like
, okay, I need to get my lifetogether because he's happy, but
that's for real.
There are people that will see,people are like I hate morning
(14:17):
people.
People that wake up in themorning are like hi, good
morning, how's everyone?
And they hate those people.
But that's because something'sprobably wrong in you.
You wish you could be happylike that.
But yes, and just Jaila,because just everything, because
everything she's been throughand she's still just so wise and
(14:38):
so strong and so positive.
Yeah, like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
At 22,.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I was so different at 22.
Yeah, so, hey, I'm bad myselfwhen I'm back too, because I had
a little bit to do with that.
But singularly, I think I'm mostproud of probably the work that
I've done on myself this pastyear.
It's been hard and it's notdone, but I have done a lot of
(15:09):
inner work and self-reflectionand, yeah, it's brought me to a
place where I'm like it's almostlike once you become a new
person, you fight with the oldperson and the life that the old
person created, because it'slike I'm, like it feels, like
(15:29):
I'm telling myself like I don'twant this life, you may no more,
I don't want this.
And then she's like you can'tdo nothing about it right now,
though you got to live in it.
So it's like I'm stuck in thatyou know who's that, who's those
snakes?
I guess they're.
You know they're how they shed,like I'm in that, trying to
shed out of that skin.
(15:49):
And that's the hard part aboutgrowth, I think, is being
comfortable, or at least beingwilling to sit in the skin a
little longer until you can, youknow, finally release it.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
But yeah, Um, okay, what do you enjoy or love doing?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Dancing, um, dancing, that's.
That's always been my numberone.
I love writing, too, eventhough I don't do it as much I
(16:35):
miss it.
I would love to tap back intothat creative brain and I love
doing things with my hands, likea ceramics or beating and stuff
.
I love doing stuff with myhands building.
I'm an IKEA freak, like, if Ican make good money, like being
(16:56):
one of the IKEA's, like builders, the people you pay to come put
yourself together, I would dothat.
I would do it every day andthen dance on the weekends.
That would be my life forever.
Um, but yeah, yeah, that'sthat's.
Yeah.
I'm surprised that, like, maybeif life went different, I would
have been, um, not not been adancer, but I would have
(17:18):
definitely done something withdancing Um, maybe even just
taught, taught classes orchildren, or I do aspire to open
a dance studio, and not just astudio.
I want a big, huge space that Ican open up to Um others who
are in different fields of bodywork.
(17:38):
But yeah, yeah, that's, that'sdefinitely what I love.
What about for you?
What do you love doing?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Sleeping.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Oh God.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
A little to sleep, a little shop.
I like to give people advice.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Okay, yeah, what do you think of sleeping, shopping
and vice?
What could you, what could youdo with that?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I could become a personal shopper, could become a
test subject and sleep studiesand I could become a advice
giver.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, I mean, what are like celebrities?
Don't they have like stylists?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
I do not want to be a stylist.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
I like to shop.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
I like, like, if I'm going to target.
I like to have a list of thingsthat I need to like buy and I
like checking it off.
Interesting yeah so if theyneed like a personal assistant.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I can do that for sure.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Okay, I need to take a nap, oh okay, yeah, that's so
funny.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Okay.
So who's the next question onme?
Okay, what small things, and Iguess you just kind of named
some.
Do you do that you findextremely satisfying?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Oh, I like to pick at like dead skin.
I love that.
Like you know, we did that,like, um, we did the exfoliating
thing and I think that's.
Oh, I thought it was, I thoughtit was like.
I thought it was like what doyou find satisfying?
(19:32):
I'm like ooh, I got so many ofthese.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
J Lasnord is so love.
Oh my God, mom, yeah, just.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I mean maybe.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I enjoyed it too, but I don't think that's what this
this is about self worth, right?
I don't think that's what theymean.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Okay.
So I guess organizing, bro,Like I like you know organizing,
I like organizing anything butlike, in order for me to like
organize, I need to have fullaccess, Like I don't wanna go in
and organize something, I wantto just come in and organize it
(20:12):
before a bunch of stuff is therealready.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Okay, so you wouldn't want to like, but on that
hoarder show, no Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
They're dirty.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Oh not even the hoarder is like what are those
DIY, not DIY?
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Like those home shows where they go in and like I
want to just give the ideas, butI don't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Cause I don't want to touch your stuff.
This is your mess.
Now I feel like I'm cleaning upafter you.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, yeah, like Marie Kondo.
No, thank you, she didn't do it, she just gave them advice.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yeah, I would give advice.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Okay, that's cool.
Yeah, so the second part ofthat question is what strengths
could this point to?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
That I'm super organized, sometimes too much
yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
What do you think organizing does for you?
Like why do you think it'ssomething you enjoy and that
it's a strength?
Like what is it?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
It helps me maintain control of my environment.
Here you go, oh, psychoanalysisevery day.
Always means something.
I just like to be organized.
I feel that if you have a cleanenvironment in places and
everything has a place, thenthere's no room for error when
(21:28):
somebody else may be potentiallycleaning up, cause I know like
at my, like my apartment, myapartment is the go-to spot.
So if I have everything in agreat order and somebody needs
to clean up after themself, theyknow exactly where it belongs.
I don't have to show you morethan once.
Don't come to my house unlessyou are going to clean correctly
(21:49):
.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I will never forget.
This time I went to Jaila's oneof her no well, was I
considered an apartment whereyou stayed with them.
Okay, I don't know if they callthose dorms, I don't know, but
I went to her apartment.
She had a roommate and I wasstaying there for a little bit
(22:11):
and the roommate just kept likesweeping herself and she was so
adamant about telling me oh,jaila likes you to sweep first,
then vacuum, or something likethat.
You have to do both.
Like she's really serious aboutit.
And I just remember her facestanding in that kitchen holding
that darn broom and I'm likewhy are you sitting here telling
(22:34):
me what my daughter want me toclean?
Like Like chill girl.
But she was serious in her face.
It was just like no, for real.
Like you, I'm like, thank you,but go on, I got this Jaila not
about to tell me nothing aboutmy cleaning when I'm the one
(22:54):
that was cleaning like crazy.
Oh well, okay, okay.
So for me I will go back againto I definitely I like
organizing, but I'm not to yourlevel, like at all.
(23:15):
But like I would say, thingswith my like I said doing things
with my hands, like puttingthings together.
Helping, I mean definitely likehelping people feel welcome.
That's one of the things that'slisted on here.
It is big for me, like likebelonging and inclusion, like I
(23:42):
didn't realize how passionate Ifelt about those things until I
was put on this committee and itlike became a whole brain child
at work, because I know, Ithink, and I think that's
because for me I know how itfeels to not feel welcome and
not be included and I wanna makesure other people don't feel
(24:03):
that way.
And so, like, when I think about, like I said, shedding the skin
, like I think about like thetypes of things that I wanna do
in my lifelong term, I thinkabout like onboarding and
employee experience and thingslike that and events and
planning events and bringingpeople together for community or
whatever, like those thingsexcite me, those things motivate
(24:27):
me.
And so, yeah, I don't know whatdoing things with my hands
really has to do with things.
I don't know if it's just aneed to work through my hands,
like maybe it's like something Imean like funny but not funny.
Like maybe it's something downin my ancestral line, like maybe
(24:48):
they were doing things with I'mdead, jaila, you're sick.
And I like sick.
Like that Josh, you over herecracking lips, I think what's
her hand?
Just not talking about pickingin the field, jaila, I mean
other things with their handsDang, I mean maybe they were.
(25:12):
Honestly, I was telling Jaila athing a while ago that I did do
that DNA, not DNA, but like afamily tree thing and the last
person it could find it saidfield worker, like that was her
occupation.
So I'm pretty sure I am adescendant Like I'm not even
gonna say a descendant of slaves, because I don't like that.
I do have slaves in myancestral line, but I meant
(25:41):
others.
Maybe they were creatingbuilding homes, maybe they were,
you know, crushing herbs andpicking, you know they were the
gatherers.
Maybe like who knows, but Idefinitely my hands like almost
need to be busy.
And it's also instantgratification, like when,
especially Ikea, back to Ikeaman, you don't need to sponsor
(26:02):
me and give me some stuff, butwhen you have like all of those
boards and nails and pegs andall of these things and they
just it's just a mess, and thenyou put it together it's like,
yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
So maybe that's just what it feeds for me, but okay,
next question All right, this isgonna be what others think, and
you need to consider positiveways.
You are seen by others.
Screw these people really,though.
Question six what do you getcomplimented on?
(26:39):
Second part what could be thestrengths that lie underneath?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I get complimented on the way I am as an individual.
People always tell me that Iseem so calm.
If only they knew I seem socalm and warm-natured and
inviting.
(27:09):
I seem so calm and warm-naturedand inviting.
(27:30):
I get complimented on a lot.
(27:54):
I also get good insight.
If you catch me at the righttime, you can spill your
information and tea.
It's something that resonateswith me or I have experience
with.
I can give you a goodperspective to make you consider
(28:16):
some other things.
What was the second part ofthat?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
What could be the strengths that lie underneath
with that?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I don't know what you would call the skill or
strength.
You don't always have to be anemotional wreck or an emotional
mess, even if you do have thingsyou're going through.
(29:00):
It doesn't have to be who youare.
It doesn't have to be how youpresent yourself, knowing how to
pull it all back in.
I think that is a strength Also, having the know-how and the
resources and the support toheal whatever things are causing
you to have that about yourcharacter.
(29:21):
You are anxious all the time,or suffering from depression or
whatever.
Be sure to heal those things.
It comes hand in hand.
What do you get complimented on?
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I feel like I notice a lot of people say J-Liz is so
motherly.
A lot of people treat me in thesame regards.
People will call my phone andbe like A I don't feel good.
What's that stuff you'd bedoing?
(29:55):
I'm like, really, that's justmy mom.
I'm like we can always go toJ-Liz's house or if we ever need
anything, we know J-Liz, we cancount on J-Liz.
I'm very dependable.
I guess I don't know a strength.
I feel like it's nice to belike people can depend on me,
(30:20):
but I think that it comes fromnot being able to depend on
other people in my life.
I have to be dependable becauseI ain't dependable nobody.
I depend on my mom, but youknow what I'm saying.
It's you and then there's me.
That's just how it is.
I guess it is a strength thatcame from a downfall down.
(30:43):
What's the word?
I'm thinking about?
A lack.
It was a strength that camefrom a lack of it.
I couldn't depend on others, soI had to become dependable.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
That makes sense.
I feel like I've heard thatthroughout my life, that that
happens where you become whatyou didn't have, like I said,
making people feel welcome andincluded.
I didn't feel that.
So it's like I became theperson to create that space, one
(31:14):
of the people, because there'sso many others out there
creating those spaces.
Yeah, I would agree.
I've had someone call me thattoo.
An old boss actually said youbecame like the mother or
something, something maternalaround here, Well, you are a mom
(31:35):
, Right?
I mean, yeah, you know, what'sfunny is that I am a mom, I've
been a mom for almost 23 years,half my life.
Yeah, more than half my lifeMore.
And I don't feel like maternalif that makes sense, like I
(32:00):
don't feel like what I see whenI hear the word maternal is
someone that's very you know.
Come in and sit down and let memake you a grandpa.
Yeah, Like I feel like that'smaternal and I'm like, oh, you
can come in.
You know, I'm about to cook foryou.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
I'm already cooking maybe.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
But at the same time, when I came down Atlanta and I
did cook for everybody, that didfeel good, like it was like,
look at these little jits, thatwas your college.
Yeah, I was like that was cool,they like my food and stuff and
they just feeling good and itcreated a space.
I like it.
But it's just not my first.
You know, it's not the firstthing I'm going to do.
(32:45):
Maybe I'm thinkinggrandmotherly and not maternal.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Interesting, okay.
Next question when are we?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Seven Mm-hmm Is yours , no.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Okay, it's mine.
What would your partner or bestfriend say are your top three
strength?
You could?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
be an old partner.
Lea, my best friend would.
I don't even, to be honest.
Oh, my God, my three strengths.
Well, I know for a fact she'slike bro, you're super strong,
like you have like held so manypeople together and held
yourself together.
She says I'm funny too.
(33:36):
So yeah, she thinks I'm prettyhilarious and that's a strength
in itself, because I feel likeif you find humor in some of the
most like depressing situations, it just changes the whole mood
.
And she'll probably also sayanother strength of mine is
(33:57):
having tough skin, like justletting things sometimes just
roll off, like it's not evennecessary to respond.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Okay.
Yeah, that's what she bettersay about me Don't listen to you
, so this would maybe bedifferent.
So my partner or my husbandmust be nice.
I'm doing a long road to gethere, long road would say.
(34:26):
My top three strengths are myhumor, same, my warm nature, or
my warm nature and like my whatdo you call it?
(34:49):
Like how I motivate others.
Like I pour into people and tryto make them like feel good.
And, you know, keep thedetermination.
Like you know you're doing great, don't stop and look at what
you've done and look at whatyou've come from and like kind
of like pouring into people, mybest friend, I mean my best
(35:13):
friends, but I think, in ageneral, across all of them, I
think it would be different ifyou ask each person honestly,
because if I think about all ofthem, I think that I give them
different things.
But I think it would be again,it would be humor, it would be
(35:33):
you know that I'm personable,like I'm very down, I'm good
natured, I'm down to earth, youknow I'm me, I'm authentic.
And then I think it would bethird thing, I think it would be
yeah, I'm a good listener, likeI want to hear from you, I want
(35:57):
to hear about what's going onin your life, and you know I'm
here to support and however Ican.
So, yeah, okay, I'm interested,jaila, to know what a an ex
partner might think were yourstrengths, even though you're
not partnered currently.
Like what do you think Any anyany old, uh, old flame.
(36:20):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Like okay, one string .
Speaker 2 (36:35):
She's helpful.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
She's helpful.
Okay, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Yeah, it's good to be helpful?
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Yeah, sure, as long as you're deserving.
Sometimes we don't know thatuntil after, though, right?
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Next question.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Okay, what would your family say?
Your strengths are.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
It depends on who.
It always depends on who.
It says consider each family.
I'm not about to consider eachfamily member Black.
If I had a general answeracross everyone that I would
consider, I would say I don'tknow what to put a word to it.
(37:25):
Basically like like, oh man,she had a kid young and look at
her now like she's.
She's doing well for herself.
Like she's.
I don't know what you'd callthat, though.
Like I don't know.
I don't know what you call it.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Mom, you're the English major woman.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Like I go to you for definitions, don't look at me.
I mean what do you?
I mean I wouldn't saysuccessful, because I'm not
where I want to be yet, but Ihave succeeded.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
So maybe beat the odds.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
I don't know.
See, this is why I didn't wantto answer.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
They say I mean, yeah , maybe it could, it works.
They, I've beat the odds.
I I, you know, bought thestigma.
I don't know, was it three orjust string?
Speaker 2 (38:22):
It was just straight.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Okay, strengths are yeah, I beat the odds, I have
good humor, I'm good natured, Icare about others.
It's what I think my familywould say.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
I would not say that because you're not funny.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I'm kind of funny, chill, we be laughing, we be
laughing together, man, chill,man, we be laughing, we be
laughing, we be laughing.
Okay, what about your family?
Well, you are my family, I know, but others, all of us just
think across everyone.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I mean probably, I don't know.
I say what I want to say.
Jailer has no filter.
That's a strength.
Well, no truth, that's Jailer.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
This is correct, okay .
Yeah, pretty cool too, yeahsure.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Next question what do your friends admire about you?
What do you get asked to helpwith?
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Everything.
Aliyah will ask me to help herwith building something.
She will ask me how do I usethis?
How do I do this Jailer?
You ever seen this before?
Oh man, I don't know everything.
You know what she just admittedto me.
She admitted that when dudes ohwait, I can't be well, that's
(39:46):
not exposing her yeah, true.
That's not exposing her, okaywhen dudes like when I say dudes
sometimes I mean like femalesand males like people.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Okay, when people.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah, when people call Aliyah and be like oh, I'm
not feeling too well.
Oh okay, she called me and tellme you remember that one time
you pat me, put my, my, my, my,my, my, my nose over the pot and
she going to tell me that shebe saying this stuff to people
so that she come off as likeintelligent and like all this
stuff, not saying, my friend,not intelligent, but don't be,
don't be used to me.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
You know it's even funnier, is you got that from me
?
Speaker 2 (40:24):
And the thing is right.
I tell her.
I'm like, oh, I remember thisone time my mom had me put.
And then I call you on my momwith the stuff that you put in
the pot.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
That's how it's supposed to go.
It's supposed to carry downthrough generations.
Yeah, but that's what.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I'm good for that's what they call me and ask me
resourceful.
Yeah, I'm everybody resource.
Okay, I remember this one timemy homeboy asked me to cook
dinner and pretend that he madeit.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
I think you told me that, so he could impress
someone.
Yep.
I'm just the help you to helpmakes for good stories.
Um, man, what do the what theyadmire about me?
I mean, I guess this is thewhat do you get asked to help
(41:09):
with must be the way you wouldanswer the admiration piece.
But I usually again, it's verydependent on the friend Either I
get asked for like professionaladvice or I get asked for like
relationship advice, andsometimes I'd be like, why are
you asking me?
(41:29):
I mean, yes, I am married, yes,I've been in a relationship for
11 years, but I'm a hero tryingto figure stuff out just like
everybody else.
Um, but I guess it is valuableto get another perspective from
someone in a situation differentthan you.
So sure, um, so it's usuallyadvice.
(41:50):
You know either relationship oryou know some kind of
relationship.
There'd be intimaterelationship, or family, um, or
other friends, or professionaladvice, um, and so I guess that
would mean that they admire,admire my intellect and my
experience or perspective.
I feel like I'll set that a fewtimes.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Okay, okay, uh, next question what would your
coworkers say are your strongpoints?
Speaker 1 (42:23):
I feel like I kind of alluded to this a little bit.
Um, that's what I well, when Isaid that I'm always so calm and
even tempered.
Um, that's that's at work.
As everyone says, I'm easy totalk to.
Um, I'm very human, which iscrazy because we're all humans
but I think we forget that,especially in human resources,
(42:46):
where, um, it's a lot aboutpolicy and um, politics honestly
feels like they says you're so,not HR, like you're, you're so
human, you're so warm and youseem like you really do care, Um
, and so that usually comes fromclients.
But if you're talking aboutlike co-worker specifically, I
(43:08):
think they would say that um, um, like what do you call it?
It's flexible, Like I'm willingto help and willing to try
something new and try somethingdifferent, and, um, and yeah, I
don't know what else, I'm sorry,I don't care.
Um, what about you?
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Um, um, um.
I don't really have co-workersanymore, because I just just me,
bruh.
Um well, think about what Isandboxed this is not
promotional and I am not sayinggo work at sandbox VR.
My co-workers would say Jailais extra, jaila don't play no
(43:53):
games with y'all and Jaila don'tlike y'all.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Oh yeah, sure, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Okay, cool, okay, we are going into the final section
and these questions are aroundtimes you've been at your best
and what lies underneath yoursuccess.
So, jaila, what were yourfavorite subjects or classes in
(44:27):
school and why?
Speaker 2 (44:30):
You know, surprisingly, it was history and
psychology.
Yeah, but I think it wasbecause I had a really good
history teacher and she didn'tlike sugarcoat the whole.
Oh my God, americans are great.
No, she was like we suck.
We do a lot of bad things and Iwant you guys to write me a
paper about how much we suck.
I'm like for sure, for sure,you guys are ready to write.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Ready.
Okay, but the content wasn'tinteresting.
It was the teacher, more youthink.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Well, I mean, the way she taught the content was like
, wow, like.
I used to not get good gradesin like history, because it was
just a lot about memorizing likethe dates of wars and stuff and
I don't know anything aboutthat, but she made it like you
know.
She literally told us like bro,minorities built this country.
Bro, stop thinking that thewhite man did, and I'm like it's
(45:20):
kind of real, and what was she?
She was a white woman, okay.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
This was high school yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Pali, take your kid to Pali.
They just better know how tofight For real.
Yeah, and be very outspoken andself advocate heavily.
Yeah, but I mean in thepsychology part, that's obvious.
I just like to know aboutpeople's problems, and sometimes
(45:46):
my own.
I think I was in class like bro, I think me and my mom got this
.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
That was, I think, your first year of college.
Well, I'm in this lecture, man.
I'm pretty sure Self discoveryis beautiful.
But, yeah, what about you?
English, Creative writing andanything, oh wait, no, well,
yeah, anything.
Music I had a drum class lovedit.
(46:14):
Piano class loved it.
And then back to the hands.
I had a ceramics and a woodshop classes loved them.
I loved the wood shop so muchthat I asked my wood shop
teacher to teach me how to playthat.
I asked my wood shop teacher todeliver my diploma.
When I walked across the stageand everybody was like why would
you ask Mr Leaper?
(46:34):
Like you know, it was like oh,I'm sorry, mr Leaper, the weird
wood shop teacher guy, but Iloved his class and I loved like
making.
I would always bring home thosestools and desks and benches
and shelves and it was so fun.
And then looking me heretalking about I can building
things.
But wood shop was really fun,but creative writing was my
(46:59):
absolute favorite, like I don'tknow why I didn't major in
creative writing, even though Idon't know what I would done
with it, but at least I wouldhave been doing something I
loved.
So, yeah, I think in the wisewere everything that is me.
It just I love writing, I lovemusic, I love dancing, I love
all of it.
So, yeah, those always were myfavorite classes as far back as
(47:22):
I can remember.
I hated math, I hated history.
Science was all right, I mean,you get to mix some stuff
together and fool around, Iguess, but you can make ice
cream.
We ain't no ice cream, yeah, wemade ice cream.
And then I got to skip homebecause I had a baby at home, so
I didn't know, our home eggwasn't about babies.
(47:44):
That's so funny we don't know.
It totally was about havingkids and how to like do a crew,
maintain a household.
I think we cooked once.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
Our home echo is yeah , we had the cooking, we had
sewing, we had middle whitepeople skills.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Stay at home.
My lady, I don't know.
I'm like where did I learn howto sew?
No, I wasn't at school.
I think grandma made me out ofso, okay, all right.
Next question.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
When have you felt most energized?
What were you doing?
Right here you go.
I already know your answer what, what I'm dancing, what?
Speaker 1 (48:33):
Why you hate me.
I was actually going to say inmy latest endeavors teaching my
step fitness classes ma'am,that's basically dancing, All
right yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
You know, when somebody passion, become a like
whole personality, that is you.
You're like I love it so much.
I do, man, I'm kidding, bro,you make me never want to think
about it again.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
None, which is crazy, because you don't dance Exactly
and that's why I never dance.
It's like how did that happen?
You don't even like to dancewhat you do in the club, what
you do.
I went up gang signs and twostepping like give me another
shot.
That's what I do I do, though.
(49:25):
I love dancing Like this.
This is no better feeling.
It's fun and it's good for yourmental health too, like when
I'm dancing and doing thefitness classes.
I don't, why are you lookinglike that?
You don't respond to all yourfaces because you're doing them
all free.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
You don't have a camera yet, so this is you, girl
, you tell me about it.
Yes, I'm not going to lie, I'mnot trying to be rude, I'm like
man.
All right, you need to pick upanother hobby.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
No, no, I will not.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
I will not sign you up for task rabbits, get to
building a staff.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
Oh man, I love building.
Something about putting thosenails on that one.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
Imagine the way you talk about dance.
Imagine somebody talked aboutbuilding.
The way you talk about step anddance.
I'm like no, I'm not trying tobe no hater, I love that you
found a passion.
I'm like, yes, go mom.
So, yeah, we'd be like, let metell you about my fitness class.
And then, lady, I'm rough.
She made a mistake, mom.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
All right, everybody gets a good pre.
Loves to dance?
Okay.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Hey, listen, you've talked about this like 100,000
times in this one podcast, bro.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
Cuz this the questions, and then this is
crazy, no but listen, bob.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Listen the next question, right.
What have you created andbrought into the world?
Speaker 1 (51:05):
I'm not going to say that.
I wasn't going to say thatYou're sick.
Go ahead, mom when have you feltmost energized?
When I'm teaching other people,and it doesn't have to just be
step, even at work, when I'mteaching people about systems or
(51:29):
a new tool.
I like teaching people.
I figure that I do not want tobe an instructor of, like a
college or middle school teacheror something like that.
I do not aspire to do that, butI do enjoy teaching someone a
new skill you can see, you know,like the joy on their face when
(51:50):
they, like you know, likemaster something or they, you
know, complete something.
You can see, like you know,being a part of that journey.
It's cool.
So it's not just about dance,it's just it's about giving
others something and holdingthem accountable.
So that's what I was going tosay, jayla.
(52:12):
So what about you when you feltenergized when you're sleeping?
Speaker 2 (52:17):
I want to wake up from a good nap.
Yes, actually, I feel the mostenergized.
I actually surprisingly whenI'm like providing I think that
may be one of my love languageslike acts of service.
I really, really, really feelso happy and in like, oh, I'm
(52:39):
doing this for them, Like I'mdoing this out the kindness of
my heart.
Yeah, when I'm doing somethingfor somebody else, I feel so
good about it.
Speaker 1 (52:50):
Like?
What kinds of things Do youmean?
Like in, like your job?
No, people I love, okay.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
And you know what y'all.
Let me tell you somethingthat's really disrespectful of
Marcel, and I hope you listeninto this podcast part, but you
just turned the vacuum on whilewe're trying to do a podcast and
I'm going to leave this part in, just so y'all know what I do
it, yeah, and then he huffingand puffing.
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Oh God.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
But yeah, like like I don't know, like, especially if
it's like if it's your birthday, I love to like go and like I
don't know what it is.
It just gives me so much likejoy that it like energizes me
for like maybe two days and I'mdone.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
Yeah, okay, yeah, so more volunteer.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like I don't like
them people.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
So would you sign up for volunteer?
I definitely listen.
Speaker 2 (53:46):
I'm just going to put on my number's gonna put on my
resume, but you didn't do it.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
Yes, I did.
You don't know who's listening.
I doubt they're listening.
You never know.
You didn't do anything yet.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
Yeah, I did, because it's already on my resume.
So you stop this.
You're going down first Nextquestion.
Speaker 1 (54:09):
Okay, okay mom, this is my question.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (54:17):
Okay, I haven't done anything, though.
Speaker 2 (54:20):
What have you created and brought into the world?
Speaker 1 (54:23):
From childhood to now .
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Me, Yo kids.
That the answer.
Speaker 1 (54:30):
I mean, what have I created?
I mean, these are kind of theonly things I've created is you
and then brother.
But I think also I have createdlike for others or something
that the rest of the world cantap into.
(54:52):
Is I do?
I really do find myself assomeone who it has created a
sense of like, peace andbelonging for others and
personally and professionally, Ihave brought that into the
world and I feel really goodabout that and I hope to bring
(55:13):
in more of that.
Like one day I want to be inthe woods and I want to lead a
retreat of wild women and I wantthem all to like, scream and
cry together and do I don't knowdo things Like I want to bring
women together to find peace andfriendship, connection,
(55:34):
whatever else.
Yeah, life's going to be somethings, but yeah, you don't feel
like you've created or broughtanything.
You have.
What if I created maybe notcreated, but you brought into
the world peace?
I'm not Understanding.
Speaker 2 (55:56):
Player, playerism self-awareness You're not proud
of that I'm always proud, proud,of everything I do.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
Well, that's good, he should be Excuse me.
Well, that was the end of ourQ&A.
I do just want to leave offwith a couple of practices in
order to develop a sense of selfand build self-worth, and so
this comes from mindorg mindM-I-N-D dot org.
(56:35):
And number one is get to knowyourself, what makes you happy,
what you value in life.
Get to know those things andmake them a part of your regular
practices.
Two try to challenge unkindthoughts about yourself.
If you're ever feeling down andsaying you know I look ugly
today or I think I'm feeling alittle too big, whatever, like
(57:00):
I'm beautiful, I'm loved, I'mgood and I'm going to go for a
run, or whatever, you're kind ofchallenging against yourself.
Three, very similar to staypositive things to yourself.
You know I am beautiful, I amsmart, I am intelligent, I am
welcoming, I am peace, all ofthese things.
(57:23):
Practice saying no and rememberthat no is a complete sentence.
No does not have to have anexplanation.
You know, usually when we sayyes, there's nothing that
follows.
If somebody asks us to dosomething, we say yeah.
We don't explain why we'resaying yeah.
Right, so if you say no, youdon't need to say oh no, I'm
sorry because I have this otherthing.
(57:44):
No, I'm sorry, I already youknow.
No, you heard us silent.
That was it Four.
I'm sorry, that was four orfive.
Try to avoid comparing yourselfto others.
You, you, you, you, especiallyin the era of social media where
(58:05):
everybody is, you know, puttingup life as they want to do,
life as they want it to be seen,not saying that everybody fake
on social media, but no one, orvery few people, are going to
show you the bad.
They're going to show you thegood, the glitz, the glam, the
shiny, the bright.
So if you're constantly saying,man, I wish I had a life like
that man, I wish I had a familylike that man I wish, instead of
(58:27):
wishing and putting that onyourself, go do it, go be that
person, go find that family, gofind that life.
And then the final thing is dosomething nice for yourself in
every, every day.
I mean five minutes.
You could do some deep, somemindful breaths, some deep
breathing.
That's something good foryourself.
Five minutes in a day, once aweek.
(58:47):
Go get a massage, go take awalk, go get together with
friends.
You know, it's just somethinggood for yourself.
Go get a you know a haircut ora mani pedi or a facial or
things like that.
Like, if you think of all thehours we have in a day, there's
time for you, so remember tomake time for yourself and and
and do something good, andthat's it.
(59:10):
I will be sure that we linkthese resources, some of the
questionnaires and the resourcesand the links that we talked
about today in the show notesfor your reference and, as
always, like comment, subscribe,keep a lookout for us.
Wednesdays or a new episodedrop.
Jaila, do you have any partingwords?
Speaker 2 (59:32):
No.
Speaker 1 (59:33):
She's so extra.
All right, y'all take care, beat peace, be good to one another
.
We'll see you next time.
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