November 8, 2023 • 54 mins
Have you ever found yourself questioning the weight of a college degree? Join us as Caprie explores this topic with Jaylah, a soon-to-be college graduate, who's as honest as she is entertaining. Navigating the highs and lows of college life, we reflect on her journey, stumbles, and triumphs. Hear her share stories that are as real as they are hilarious about college roommates, and learn how she combated homesickness by building meaningful relationships.
What happens when your world is turned upside down and your dreams seem nearly impossible to achieve? Caprie opens up about her struggle with illness, academic probation, and the loss of financial aid that forced her to put her dreams on hold. Yet, her resilient spirit shines through as she talks about balancing work and education, and her eventual pivot to a different career path. You'll also hear about our thought-provoking debate on the necessity of a four-year degree, and how single-mindedness can often limit our potential.
As we conclude the first season, we take a moment to reflect on the incredible conversations and diverse range of topics we've covered. From exploring college life and transitions to challenging traditional perspectives on education and career paths, it's been quite a journey. Stay tuned for our next season where we plan to delve deeper into stigmas and mental health issues. So until we meet again, remember to be kind to one another and keep the conversation going.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to let's Talk Later.
I am your host, Capri.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
And I'm Jela.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
And today we are going to be talking about
college life, collegetransitions, perspectives and
all things surrounding thattopic.
I thought this would be a funtopic, even though Jela's nearly
done with school.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I know.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I think it's important to reflect on where
we've come from, where we weregoing, and just share with the
people and provide some insightto maybe younger generations and
older generations, with kidsgoing into college and it's a
(00:48):
big deal.
So yeah, Jela, how are youfeeling today on this beautiful
what is this Friday?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah, it's a Friday.
Yeah, I feel good.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Nice, cool, ha ha ha.
We just picked us up someStarbucks.
Maybe one day they'll sponsorus or something you know, but
until then, get you an icedpumpkin chai latte cream.
Pretty good, if I say so,anyway, ha ha ha.
(01:21):
So, um, jela, you are in yourlast year, right?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, yeah.
How's that feel?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Back to episode one.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, like I don't know, Like I don't know, I'm
just like okay, cool.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Are you proud of yourself?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
No, like it's not that, like it's not my biggest
goal, so I'm not like in thatmindset where I'm like this is
it yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
So I know I'm not done, okay, yeah, okay, well,
that's interesting, yeah, thatjust.
I think that's insight to yourkind of the way your mind works
right, because even though, yes,this is not the end, this is
not your biggest goal, this isstill an achievement, like
graduating, getting a degree.
(02:21):
I mean not to everybody, don'tget me wrong.
Hey, some people don't careabout college school degrees and
whatnot.
You know, and this day and age,with AI and certifications and
crash courses and all thesethings and other ways and
avenues to make money, then youknow I get it, but it's still an
achievement.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, but this won't be my first degree, so then it's
like you see what I'm saying.
So it's like when I finished.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I'm like, yes, I did it, no for sure, I get it Well,
I'm proud, it's exciting.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Thanks, man.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
She was saying yesterday.
I hope what I'm saying is right.
It's Sima Cum Laude, you wannagraduate?
Yes, as you know, with thathonor, and I think that's
admirable.
Honestly, I won't lie, I'm justbeing fully transparent.
When I think about Sima CumLaude, I see white women, I see
(03:18):
young white girls, and thatsucks because I think I'm
attributing it to the media andso usually when you see those
news articles, they are youngwhite girls that are receiving
these honors.
So shout out to all of the, toall young people receiving the
(03:42):
honor of Sima Cum Laude or HonorRoll or just any high
achievement.
Just shout out to all of themBlack, brown, yellow, pink,
purple, blue.
It's phenomenal.
So let's journey backwards to Idon't know when do we start
talking about college or junioryear?
(04:02):
Yeah, yeah, journey back there.
What did it so like?
What was your dream school andwhat were, like, some of the
things you looked for?
So I have to go somewhere withA, b and C if you did.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, I mean my dream school.
It was so crazy because when wefirst started talking about
college, my college advisor Iknow that this is a very rare
actually, because when I went tocollege and I met other people,
they did not have collegeadvisors.
They were not like you're goingto college.
(04:46):
You know, pali was like you'regoing to college, like you're
gonna take this class and inthis class, we're gonna be with
you for the next two yearsjunior, senior year.
We're gonna help you write youressays, we're gonna help you
apply, we're gonna help you getthose ACT and SAT scores in, and
so they were very honest,whereas, like I know I'm not
quite sure, I don't know ifAliyah had this, but I think
(05:07):
some of my other friends didn'thave college advisors.
Their schools were like that'sonly all.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I didn't have it when I was in high school.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Oh wow.
So really, like when I firstwent to my college advisor, I
wanted to stay in Californiabecause I was like you know, I
don't know anything else, LikeI'm just gonna stay here, and me
and you we went to go visit LAand San Diego and I knew those
(05:36):
were not my schools, Like I justdon't.
I just didn't feel right.
And so after that I startedlooking at HBCUs because I
wanted to be around black people.
Since I did go to apredominantly white school, I
really wanted to go to an HBCU,or at least majority black.
I knew that I needed to.
(05:59):
I didn't wanna have atraditional dorm where I shared
a room with someone, so I neededto see what those freshmen
dorms looked like.
Yeah, After that I was justlike as long as it's majority
black, then I get my own room,I'm good.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Yeah, I do remember that.
About the tours, what the roomslook like, I gotta share.
I remember one dorm tour we did.
You said the rooms were tooclose to the living room.
Remember that one.
It had like dark color carpet.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Oh, wittier yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I was like, yeah, I don't wanna, I don't.
I think you were like I don't.
One of the schools there wereso many different things with.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
JLo was saying but you didn't even wanna finish the
tour.
At LSU?
No, not.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Loyola.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Marymount.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
LMU.
That's what it was.
No, because they were talkingabout oh, you're gonna go to
church.
I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, we're not
even gonna go there.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
We can stop here, we can just leave.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
It's like okay, Definitely not.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
We are spiritual folks.
We believe in a higher power,go so far as to say we believe
there's a God, regardless ofwhat God looks like, but just
not super strict, religiouslydevout people.
Although I was forced to go tochurch every Sunday and Bible
school and Bible camp during thesummers when I was younger, if
(07:27):
it's not for you, it don'tmatter.
I feel like you forced a childto do something.
If it's not for them, it's notgonna stick, and it did not
stick.
So yeah, just a little notethere.
But yeah, that was.
It was fun times, though I'llsay from the parent perspective
that it was I don't know.
(07:51):
It felt really good to be ableto be in a position to, for my
daughter to go to school, thatshe could go to college and do
something that I didn't do.
I mean, I went to college.
I didn't finish the full degreeI mean when I say full, I mean
(08:15):
the four year.
But I never always wondered.
I was like am I trying to livevicariously through her or what
is this?
But it's just no, I just wantedher to have the things and
experiences and opportunitiesthat I didn't have and that was
simply that.
(08:35):
So it felt really good to be ina position to basically, with
an employer, shout out toStanford I was to, you know I
was.
I've been there long enough towhere she is, you know, getting
her tuition paid for.
That's a huge boning andblessing.
It's a large part of the reasonthat.
(08:56):
I stayed and so, yeah, it's beeninteresting watching her find
herself through these schoolsand these programs and
experiences different things.
So I guess, on the flip side,what would you do differently,
(09:17):
like from the school tours toyou know you ultimately moved
across the country 3000 and someodd miles away, you know.
So the location, everythinglike.
What would you do differentlyin that selection process?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Be more realistic with myself.
When I was picking schools,like I remember I remember I was
I wanted to go to University ofHouston so bad I think.
We ended up going to visitTexas Southern and then I was
(09:57):
like no, this ain't it.
Went to university, switch overto University of Houston
because it was across the street.
I got in, we paid, we dideverything, but something was
literally telling me like do notgo, like this is not the school
for you, and I was so scared tolike tell you that because I
was like, oh, we paid, likeshe's gonna be so mad.
(10:21):
But like, looking at that now, Ithink that was my, like my
subconscious or something biggerthan me telling me that this is
not the right time for you toleave.
Because I ended up just like Ithink, like I told you you're
like hey, it's okay, likeunderstand things happen.
And then I just picked anotherschool, just the only other
(10:42):
school that was accepting likestudents like was Clark, atlanta
, and I'm like whatever, likeI'm gonna just go here because I
don't have any other options.
But I would have just stayed.
I would just stayed home,probably went to like a
community college for like thefirst two years, because
mentally I was not ready, like Iwas so not ready to like take
(11:04):
that leap and be by myself andbe independent, that it just
messed up a lot of stuff in my,like, college life, I guess.
So just being more real withmyself, setting more, setting
lower expectations to yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Okay, something you said strikes a question.
Oh no, not not really aquestion, but just kind of like
speak to that a little bit,because you know you're you're
almost done with your bachelor'sright and so, and you did kind
of bounce a little bit right,you went to a few different
(11:46):
schools and then ended up at atwo year and then now you're
back.
So at the end, talk a littlebit about that, just because I
feel like that's a valuableperspective and information,
because you know you follow thenormal trajectory, right, you
either enter your four year andyou go all the way, or you're a
start at the JC and then you go,or we know, whatever.
Just just you know, just givensome insight, that it looks
(12:10):
different for everybody.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, no, yeah, I started off at a four year, but
not to sit here and crap on youknow HBCU.
But I just didn't feelsupported at Clark Atlanta.
I was a psych major.
I honestly felt like theydidn't care.
They kind of were more aboutlike business and like media and
(12:32):
stuff because, like their alumwere people that were in the
entertainment industry, so theycatered more towards those
fields, I guess.
And I was also mentally notthere at Clark Atlanta and it
just was.
(12:52):
It was a lot, so I literallybasically went home.
I went home and dropped out ofClark Atlanta almost.
Yeah, like I just dropped out,I was like you know what?
I can't do this, I don't knowwhat I'm gonna do.
I ended up going to foothill,finishing up at foothill
(13:13):
somewhat, yeah, I was strugglingthere too Well, not as much,
but like I was having my ups anddowns still with like, really
like extending it out as much asI could because of that fear of
like, oh, I'm gonna have to goto like a four year now and
actually finish my degree andstuff.
And then, yeah, ended up inArizona State again.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, that's.
That's a big deal Like as faras like knowing or feeling
prepared to go into something,especially being independent,
like that transition from I'm inhigh school and I'm a teenager
to look at me, I'm on my own,like I'm managing I mean, for
(14:04):
the most part, I guess someparents and some dynamics, the,
the parents or the adults,caregivers, whatever Will manage
most of most of it.
But then I think in the, in thesituation when you're
transitioning and you're goingfar away from you know family
(14:26):
and and Resources, you you kindof become super independent,
like hyper independent, whereit's like you do have to do a
lot of the things on your ownBecause you don't have, you know
, anyone that you know, you knowaround you or that is
immediately available, and sothat for me.
(14:46):
That was always scary for me,because I feel like I wanted
like for a While, like when youwere little, I was thinking I
should just find a school thathas dorms for families and Leave
.
Like I wanted the same thing,like I wanted to leave so bad,
like that's that's all, like Ididn't even care about where it
(15:07):
was, I just wanted to leave,same thing I was.
I was trying to get away fromtrauma.
I was trying to get away fromthe people and the things that
had happened to me in thoseyears.
Following right and Got scaredcuz.
I was like what am I gonna do?
Like I don't know anybody.
And I have a kid like I thinkIf I were in your shoes in the
(15:29):
same situation, I probably wouldhave done the same thing.
But I had you and you werelittle and you were in school
and you know, even though a lotof the people around me weren't
Great people, there was peoplelike your grandma.
I was like I can't take herfrom her, like I can't leave
(15:49):
that support and so Like that.
That that is definitely a bigdeal.
In the way I chose my school.
I went to Cal State hey word,which I think they're now Cal
State East Bay.
I guess they change, I don'tknow.
I think so, but in the way Ipicked them is they sent me a
(16:11):
frame and Certificate and theywere like you've been admitted.
I was like, oh, this is so niceLike they, like this is such a
nice gesture, I'm going thereand I actually really liked it.
I won't lie, I like the people,the environment.
It was very diverse.
The teachers were amazing.
(16:32):
I wanted to major in dance andtheater.
Like I don't even I get.
I get the dance piece.
Let's do I have that piece.
I will always love dance.
But theater when I came from, Iguess, I guess because I mean,
if you think about it, intheater you're someone else, you
get to be someone else.
And you know, I've said inprevious episodes I spent a lot
(16:55):
of my, a lot of my life masking,being, you know, inauthentic,
not true to myself, because ofABCD, fg and on, and so I think
that's what that was.
But it was cool.
Like I would go hang out with acouple friends, like they lived
in the dorms right across thestreet and I would go hang with
them and I wanted to join theblack student union and I had
(17:17):
all these dreams, you know, andI was like maybe you know me and
Jaila could move into thesedorms over here, like I was like
kind of trying to startthinking about a life and Then,
um, I Really don't even knowanymore.
I think, honestly, I I'm stilltrying to recover that piece of
(17:37):
my life because I don't reallyremember everything that
happened.
But I know I got sick, I gotthe flu and I really, really
sick, and then I missed half.
I don't know if it was asemester or quarter system, but
I missed half of it and ended upFailing and then went on
academic probation and then Ithink the counselor at the time
(18:01):
said something like Honestly,because I got that was the times
of where people actually got alot of financial aid and so I
was getting like four thousanddollars for a quarter, and
because I had a dependent when Igot sick, you know, you go on
academic probation, you losethat.
And so she was like the bestthing for you to do is go to
(18:21):
foothill or go to a JC orsomething you know, for a you
know a couple quarter semesters,whatever, I don't know what's,
you know time frame, everybodyon.
But, um, and then come back andI was like, okay, okay, I'll do
that, that makes sense.
But losing that financial aidmeant I needed to go to work,
(18:42):
because I needed to have money,because I was, you know, paying
contribute into the householdand I was taking care of you,
and Work just became moreimportant because I had to live
and the household was toxic andand and a lot was going on there
(19:03):
and I had to get out, and so itwas like school who has time
for school?
So all of those dreams andplans like that that I was, I
was starting to have, they justWas like, well, can't do that
anymore.
So it was.
It was exciting to just to seeyou being able to do it and
(19:26):
Things.
But I know it wasn't easy foryou either, because you know,
like you said, you weren't readyand there was a lot for you and
on you too, because it's notlike you were living by yourself
with all of this, this newfoundSupport and resources around
you.
If anything, I feel like itopens you up to things that you
(19:48):
weren't acknowledging aboutyourself Previously, which may
have been destined.
You know honestly, because ifyou think about it, sometimes,
what do they say something Well,I still know how to swim.
Ain't that embarrassing?
But you know, a lot of peoplewere taught to swim by being
(20:09):
pushed into the pool and I thinkthat was kind of it for you.
You had to be pushed into it tosay, oh, hey, whoa, like it's
something bigger going on here.
But I want to hear, I want youto share.
You don't have to name namesback.
You had some very interestinglodging experiences.
(20:29):
Oh through school oh my god.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Let's talk a little bit about my dad.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Cuz cuz.
It ain't easy for everybody toroommate with people.
I understand that I don't thinkI've ever had a root.
Well, that's a lie, Iunderstand.
So, jaila, enlighten us on theroommate experience in college.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Oh my god, starting at Clark Atlanta, I stayed in
something called the sweets Umand it was basically like two
Little rooms with no doors so wehad to hang up a curtain rod to
give us, like privacy.
But it was better than thetraditional dorm.
So I was like, okay, cool, butmy roommate was so dirty.
(21:15):
She was so dirty, she wouldliterally have like a bunch of
trash piled up and I'm like yo,when is you gonna throw this
away?
You know, I'm saying like it'sgetting real weird in here.
Then we had a shared pantry andthis is how I knew I had to get
out of here.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Not the goop.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
My god, okay.
I used to eat terrible back atClark Atlanta.
I had some goober and if youknow what that is, that's
basically peanut butter andjelly in the same jar.
It's so good, it's so good, butit's so bad, so bad.
One day I'm about to go make mea PB and J sandwich and I open
it up and literally what was thepeanut butter missing, or was?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
it, the jelly missing .
I think all your Jelly wasmissing.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
She literally took all the jelly out of the jar and
just left peanut butter in it.
Didn't ask me if she could havesome, didn't ask me at all,
didn't let me know nothing.
I sent a picture to my mom andI knew that if I confronted her
about it we would have probablyfought, because back then I Was
a hothead and I didn't know howto communicate.
But it was so disrespectful andit was just like wow, like how
(22:29):
I'm supposed to have a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich?
You took all the jelly out myfreaking jar, bro.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Like who does that like for, who take all the jelly
?
Or or either one like not evenget some like remove.
I wouldn't have believed it ifyou didn't send me a picture
like I really would not havebelieved it because I just
Sometimes I can't fathom thethought of the audacity that
(22:56):
people be having.
That was, that was wow.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, and then when I went to Georgia or when I moved
back to Georgia and I stayed inAspen, my first roommate she
was, she was dirty, she had alot of beef for her boyfriend
and her upstairs neighbor was adomestic violence and I remember
(23:25):
this one time he was likebeating her up or something or
they was getting into it and hewas like you gonna leave me on
Crip or something like that andme and my roommate just
literally like yo, we have tomove.
I have to move because I can'tsleep.
I can't sleep at night and I'mvery sensitive to my sleeping
pattern and her boyfriend wasselling drugs out of our like
(23:46):
room and so the legal student,no okay.
This was the very first time Imoved to Aspen, on the fourth
floor, yep, and her boyfriendwas selling which will call it
drugs out of our apartment andlike dudes will come knocking at
like 5 am and I'm like, bro,I'm trying to go to sleep.
(24:07):
I can't sleep because myupstairs neighbor is a
gangbanging abuser and I'm tiredand your boyfriend is selling
drugs, so this is not okay.
All right, so then I moved.
They moved me to the thirdfloor and she had a huge dog, a
huge dog that she would lock inher room while she was gone.
(24:29):
She was the, she was a.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Teacher, teacher.
Yeah, she was a teacher, or shewanted to be a brother or
something.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, it wasn't even her dog, it was somebody else's
dog and it would bark all Day,from the morning until night
until she got home to let himout and just bark, bark, bark,
bark, bark.
And I'm like okay, like I Needto move, because not only can I
not sleep because this dog isbarking, but then my neighbor
(24:59):
was a producer who made beatsall night so I could not go to
sleep.
I could not go to sleep, and sothis was so much.
They moved me again to the fifthfloor.
So now I had nobody above meand and nobody on the side of me
either, and I had the room tomyself for a little while.
(25:21):
But then a girl from New Mexicomoved in.
She was the politician lawyerwanted to be and.
Things were good at first.
Like I was like, oh my god,like I might actually have a
good roommate.
But then she started to slip up.
Like her boyfriend was like inthe like Navy or something like
that and he was cheating on herand she was stressed out, she
was always complaining about himand she didn't have any food in
(25:45):
the house and she would alwaysmake salmon.
She would always make salmonand it was unseasoned and she
would always use my pots, in mypans and she didn't know how to
like clean up.
So one time she made oatmealshe made oatmeal, use my pot,
washed it quote-unquote.
I literally go to use the potand there's like dried oatmeal
(26:06):
in it and I'm like yo stop usingmy stuff.
Like stop it.
I literally bought baby locksor I bought locks or something
like that for the Cabinets thatonly I had to like magnet for,
so she would stop using my stufflike Don't use it.
Oh my god at all, don't use it.
(26:27):
And then she was only supposedto.
She was only supposed to use itfor, you know, she was only
supposed to be there for alittle while.
That's what I meant.
Um, and then finally she movedout and like I was just like
golly, like I'm good to go.
I didn't have a roommate for acouple months again.
Then I got my last roommate.
(26:48):
She was a good roommate.
I mean, for the most part shewas good roommate, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was getting those calls and
I mean, yes, it's.
You know, I would tell Jailer,like man, jailer, like you gotta
, you gotta learn to live withpeople, because sometimes people
need a little extra help.
You know not, these people grewup.
They're probably not the clean.
They probably, you know, da, da, da.
(27:16):
But at the same time, I get it.
You don't touch my stuff, don'teat my food, don't leave a big
old dog in your room all day and, like you know, yes, yes,
because it's, it messes up thequality of your life, because
you can't sleep and Trying to goto school and just all of these
things.
(27:36):
So, um, yeah, ultimately sheended up alone in her own
apartment.
She said I can't do this livingwith people anymore and she got
herself.
Well, we got her a one bedroomapartment and, yeah, that's,
that's seemed to be the bettersituation.
(27:57):
But then it came, jailer, you,you do be just upset, because
then it was the upstairsneighbors mom.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
I had video footage.
I had video footage Again.
I moved to a one bedroomapartment by myself, all the way
across the street from where Ijust came from.
I get there and I'm underdomestic violence again.
I mean, like they're arguing,they're beating each other up,
they slamming doors all throughthe night, like I.
(28:27):
This is when I started buyingmyself, um, the, the like a
headphone, sleeping band so Ican go to sleep at night.
But Like, come on, I'm tryingto watch tv and I hear you're
louder than my tv.
So, yeah, I complained to myleasing office and they moved me
.
We're at, the police called.
I guess I literally calledsecurity.
(28:48):
The police came and they wouldnot answer the door.
Like all this stuff happened.
And then the leasing office.
Because I remember I called theleasing office and I'm like,
hey, can you guys please sendsomebody up there?
I'm trying to go to bed.
I got work.
This is when I was working andI had to wake up at like 5 am.
I have to be up at 5 am.
Please tell the people just tobe quiet.
Give me three nights out theweek.
(29:09):
I don't care if you beat eachother up on the weekend.
Do what you want to do thenthey support domestic violence.
Yeah, but hey, but then theytold me to call the police
because this wasn't somethingthat concerned them or something
like that.
So did not call the police.
Even the police was like, ohwell, they're not answering, so
there's nothing we can do.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
That's so crazy.
I don't, yeah, and that's whatticked me off.
We, we tried to get legal aidand we got a little bit of help,
but not really nothing likethat.
Just because it's like how canyou say as the, the property
manager or leasing Office,whatever, like, the well-being
of tenants in your propertyisn't your concern for one, and
(29:50):
that means the, the poor peoplegetting getting Beed up,
whatever was happening, and thenthe tenant below and then he
tenants around you, like that'sDefinitely your concern, that's
the experience of your tenants,that's that's yeah, but anyway,
that's neither here nor there.
Um, I don't think I've ever hadthose issues, but I did have
(30:13):
some neighbor issues, like notin college, like I didn't yeah,
I didn't stay in college, but um, just living in apartment
complexes, right, people withheavy feet and sound like they
bowling and and playing Um in amariachi band all night, um, all
of that kind of crazy stuff.
But um, we had these oneneighbors that they lived right
(30:35):
above us.
I don't know if you rememberwhen we was um on Coleman.
Now, those were the peopleplaying, bowling and and and and
.
Uh was your square dancing atnight and most interesting group
of people living up there, if Iremember.
But no, whatever.
Um on in Palo Alto, where thelady would work out on the
(30:58):
stairs, huh, in Palo Alto, wherethe lady would work out on the
stairs and, um, they would watertheir.
They had kids and a dog andthey would water their plants
and the right on the patio andthe water would drip down and I
thought it was raining and itwas all in my head and they're
watering plants right up, but itwas just yeah that was.
(31:21):
That was absolutely ridiculous.
And then we finally moved intoa town home where we had no one
up or above or below us, andthat was, yeah, finally good.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Finally.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
But, yeah, jaila has some trials and tribulations
with the roommates, um, and sheis going back into a roommate
situation, one which I'm sendingall the good vibes and love for
, because it's going to beboxing.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yes, that's it.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Another question but it's someone that I feel like
this will be better because youknow, you trust and you have an
open line of communication soyou can provide feedback, and
vice versa, she can do the same.
So I have, I have, high hopesfor this, this situation,
because I can't even room withmy own mother.
(32:11):
I'm gonna tell you that and behonest, um, and I mean, this is
not a roommate situation with myhusband, even with him.
It's just we have our back andforth of, and you didn't do this
Right, like if anybody this,this, resonate with you.
Just give, give a little.
Should you to comment orsomething?
Um, you know anybody who don'twatch the backs of pots?
(32:33):
That kills me.
I don't understand it, andthat's been we've been, I think,
arguing back and forth aboutthat for at least six years and,
um, I gave up.
I just grabbed the pot, notjust again and wash it again,
because, yeah, I'm not going togo into that any further, but
(32:56):
that's yeah.
Anyway, check the back of yourpots if you live with somebody,
to see if they work, if theywash the backs of the pots, um,
so, yeah, jumping back in, um,did you ever, jaila, did you
ever feel?
I think you did.
But you know, talked to usabout filling homesick Like how
(33:16):
was that for you throughout youknow your years away in school.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Okay, let's say this when I was at Clark Atlanta, I
did not want to be there, Iwanted to go home and I was
super homesick.
I'm like, yeah, this ain't,this ain't going to work, and I
ended up just going home.
Yeah, I just left, I went andgot my stuff and I went home.
Um, but then when I lived inAspen, I didn't feel as homesick
(33:47):
.
Um, once I started, once Imoved to the fifth floor and you
know, I started making likereal friends and like real
connections and like kind ofbuilding my own family.
Um, to the point where, like,atlanta started to feel like
home and when I would come homefor like Thanksgiving or
something like that, I would behomesick about Atlanta.
(34:08):
Um, I can't wait to go back.
Like I miss my friends and likemy freedom.
Um, yeah, but I'm the type ofperson where if, like, I feel
homesick or something is tellingme to do something, I'm going
to just do it.
So I don't really think I givegood advice for people who miss
home.
Yeah, I'm just going to do it.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, I mean but that was advice, because you said
that it changed once you startedto build connection and
community.
Um, because, yeah, like I meanand even with that you can be
homesick, but, um, I I'm of thebelief that like relationships
and friendships are truly very,very important.
(34:51):
Um, because you know you canonly, you can only be so many
versions of yourself with oneperson or with two people.
You know you have yourrelationship with your mother,
you know some with their, youknow not some with it, with your
father, with your sister,siblings, you know all of that
type of stuff.
(35:11):
Um, but I feel like if youdon't have friendships like
there's this, this, like amissing component, almost like
Like you need people to to whereyou can, you can just be kind
of, just be just just a friendlywith.
Like you know you and I haveour relationship, um, and I
(35:34):
think we can.
I mean, I feel like we can bepretty authentic around each
other, but I'm your mom and youknow it's different than having
friends where you can.
You know you can turn up or youcan be crazy or you know
whatever with.
So it's just really important.
I value friendship so muchbecause it does, I feel like,
(35:55):
play a vital role in um.
You know how we live out ourlives, so my little piece there,
um.
So I mean speaking of likeadvice and guidance.
So you have people and I'llshare you know, a perspective as
well.
But you know you have peoplewho are probably you know it's
(36:19):
still in high school and ourthings starting to think about
college and what they want to doafter.
Like what you know gems, wouldyou get?
Provide them, you know, asthey're kind of thinking about
what adult life will look likefor them and transitioning out
of high school.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Um, if you don't know , don't go.
That's what I say.
I tell Sky that too.
Because guys like, oh, I don'tknow what I want to do, I don't
know what I want to do, I don'tknow, like, what I want to major
in and honestly, take a gapyear, like there's nothing wrong
with starting at your own paceor, you know, are taking a
couple of classes at a communitycollege and getting just work
(37:01):
experience and stuff like that,like I think that's always like
the biggest thing that peopleget lost at.
They just think like, oh, I'mjust going to go and I'm going
to pick a major and I'm going towork towards this major and if
I don't like it I'll change it.
But that screws you up initself because then you're
taking classes they have nothingto do with the new major you're
(37:24):
wanting to like go into.
Um, and then you just wastedmoney and time and effort on
classes that you didn't evenneed.
So do a little self discoveryand then you know, once you
figure that out, because youmight find out that college
isn't even for you.
You might find out you want tobe a real estate agent and you
got to go to a whole differentpath to become that, and doesn't
(37:47):
even involve college.
So you know, self discoveryfirst.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense and that is true.
I mean, yeah, just you know,like I said earlier, just what's
for you, because what you wantand what looks and feels good
for you is going to be differentthan whatever a handout or one
page pamphlet you know is goingto tell you.
So, definitely make the journeyone that is personal for you
(38:17):
and within your reality.
Right, I know, for me, I thinkit's still, it's definitely
generational too.
I think these generations thatare coming up behind even you
are looking at college a lotdifferent, Like I feel like
probably less so than you knowthe generations before Because,
(38:41):
again, there are so many otheravenues.
But for me, I feel like, likeeven right now I'm in this, I'm
in this very, very challengingphase where I'm like what next?
Because I've been, like I said,I've been doing HR for 10 years
before that you know, kind oflike project program management,
(39:04):
and I feel like I'm thiscompletely different person now,
Like I don't even feel the sameas I felt three months ago,
Like I feel like I am sodifferent and as far as like
what I want and what feels good,and I just don't know how to
really reach it, because I'mlike, do I need to go back to
(39:27):
school?
So that's the first thing,because when I'm looking at
these job descriptions, right,and I'm looking through
different postings, it's likeyou know, bachelor's preferred,
bachelor's desired, bachelor'srequired, you know, and I'm like
, well dang, you know, I haveall this experience, almost, I
mean two decades worth ofexperience but I don't have a
(39:49):
four year degree.
So is that going to keep mestagnant?
Is that gonna keep?
Is that gonna hold me back from, you know, getting these
opportunities to grow, or isthere something that I'm missing
because I'm stuck in thatmindset of you have to have a
college degree in order to makeX amount of dollars.
(40:10):
You know, and I think back to Ihad a Reiki session.
For those you know, Reiki isthe movement of energy through
your body and it can be done.
You can do it on yourself, youknow, if you have the practice
and the patience and theconnectedness, or there are
Reiki masters and practitionerswho can do this on you, and it's
(40:32):
basically to find out whereenergy is trapped in you and
help move it through your bodyso that you can think, feel and
operate more clearly.
And so I had a session done inAntioch at Abundance Well Spa,
hey, Daphne, and she was tellingme that she's.
(40:55):
You know, there's also thesepeople who are very intuitive
and very in touch with energyand spirit and just the world
around them, and so they receivesometimes what's called
downloads and it's like messagesfrom, you know, spirit, guides,
ancestors, whatever, whateveryou wanna call it.
And she had told me I don'tbelieve what you're going to do
(41:19):
will require you to go back toschool and I, ah, like it was
interesting to hear, but I hatedhearing it at the same time
because I still had so manyquestions Like that's one of
those profound things, like whatyou're going to do, does it?
But what is it Like?
I just, you know, I'm like Idon't know.
(41:42):
Maybe that's to my detriment,but I've always been kind of the
person that just I just wantthe answer.
I just want to know, instead ofhave to go through the
experience, because as I'm goingthrough the experience, I'm
constantly questioning is thisthe right way?
Is this the right thing?
Is this the right, you know, isthis the right passion?
I turn around and try that.
(42:03):
And so I'm at that point in mylife of where it's like I truly,
truly, truly, truly, truly donot want to do anything that
doesn't feel good, If it doesn'tvibe with my energy and my
spirit.
I don't wanna do it.
And so that's hard when, like Isaid, I'm just trying to figure
(42:25):
out what's next.
And I asked you know, I'm goingthrough these courses and I'm
asking myself the questions likewhat makes me happy, what
invigorates me, what do I enjoy?
You know, what about this worldbreaks my heart?
And I'm answering thosequestions, but it doesn't really
(42:48):
put it neatly into a packageand I think I just probably just
need to be okay with that, thatit's not a neat package and I
need to remove the I don't knowif you'd call it maybe the
American standard ofsingle-mindedness, like you can
only be this thing Like, oh,like what was that?
Was that Ray J or Soulja Boy orsomebody had?
(43:11):
Like all of these businessventures Like they made a Ray J.
Was that, Ray J?
And they were like laughing,like why are you doing all of
this stuff?
Like you're just doing so manythings you know, and it's like
what's wrong with that?
What's wrong with beinginterested in tech and wanting
to do gymnastics, and wanting toteach kids how to swim and
(43:32):
wanting to I don't know drivetrucks?
You know?
Like what's wrong with that?
And in my head they're like,even though I say what's wrong
with that, my standard thoughtis there is something wrong with
that.
Make up your mind, picksomething you know, Because if
you ask me what I enjoy, I couldname five different things that
(43:53):
have nothing to do with theother.
So I think that's the hard partfor me.
What do you think about that,Jaila?
Like I know you have a prettymuch defined path forward, but
like, do you think that you'llshift at all?
Like, tell me, well, tell thepeople, what your path forward
(44:15):
is, and then, like, do you thinkyou'll shift and want to like
dip your hands in a bunch ofdifferent things, or yeah, well,
you know, just looking at myprocess, or the steps and
changes I've made throughout myentire life At first, when I was
younger, I wanted to be anactress.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Yeah, you ruined that when you didn't take me to.
You didn't you should havefound a way to pay for that
Disney stuff?
Okay?
Speaker 1 (44:40):
You should have found a way.
Thank you for saying that,because do you hear this, Jaila?
I ruined it because I didn'thave iron funds.
I didn't have no money now.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
We could have been a star.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
We could have been.
You could still be a star.
I am a star already.
Go to LA, no, thank you.
I don't want to be that anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
You look Okay, so I want to be an actress.
And then I changed to God, Ithink in high school I was like
I want to be a psychologist.
And yeah, I think in highschool I was like, yeah, I just
want to be a psychologist, Iwant to help people, I want to
give back to people.
Then I wanted to be an academicadvisor because I realized how
(45:17):
much mine helped me.
But then I was like, eh, eh,yeah, it changed quite a bit.
So I know that now, where I'mat, I still want to be a
therapist or a psychiatrist Idon't know, whatever one comes
first, I guess and I also wantto help kids.
I also want to be a therapistfor people in prisons, like I
(45:42):
don't know why.
But basically I have a lot ofplans around therapy and giving
back to people who need therapy.
But I also want to own a stripclub.
So I'm pretty sure I'ma dip mytoes into a lot of things.
I'ma be like the next Ray J.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
You did say that I want to own a strip club.
That's so funny.
So before you, before I askthis first question, I mean the
second question did you see theclip?
There was this guy and he saidthat his profession he was a
Bible teacher, but he's savingup to own a strip club.
(46:18):
Have you seen that?
That's probably one of the mostbackwards thing, hey,
single-mindedness, why he can'tteach the Bible and support the
strip folk they might bestripping to, for the Lord the
Jesus songs.
We don't know, that ain't ourbusiness, but anyway, what, why,
(46:38):
why a strip club?
Speaker 2 (46:41):
I don't know.
I think it's the environment.
There's a lot of money goingaround, big booties, females
just doing their thing, dudesgetting a money took oh, I love
to see it.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Yep, I love that.
I love the nightlife too,though.
Okay, but I know I won't beable to be a part of the
nightlife forever cause I'ma getold, so it's always gonna live
on in my name.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know if you could say that I
feel like there are older peoplewho are still Not me.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
About the nightlife, not me.
Oh so about your mom?
Speaker 1 (47:17):
I am not Grandma, I am not talking about my mother,
because I don't think she's inthe night life anymore.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
I don't know actually .
Let me ask her she's reallygoing she's old and sitting at
house all day.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Yeah, with daddy, let me show you.
Oh, so anyway, that's justinteresting and I don't aspire
to own a strip club, but I dolike the nightlife.
There's something about theenergy, the freedom, the like,
you know, people just let looseand just vibe out.
(47:52):
You know, I wish, I would lovefor us to have a space where we
can all do that safely and, youknow, nobody gets any crashes or
anything crazy.
But it's a feeling Like I wouldlove to own a dance studio and
(48:14):
have events like at night, likeyou know, different kind of like
single, bring people together.
Like my thing is, whatever I do,I want a component of bringing
people together.
Like building community for meis so important.
And so, like that dance studio,like I'd want it to be big
enough, like I'd love to likebuy somebody's old big mansion
(48:38):
and like renovate it to wherethere's like a yoga room, a
massage room, like differentrooms where different, you know,
practitioners can do whateverthey need to do and those rooms
have a childcare center, have asauna, you know just all of the
space and then like also utilizethat space.
(49:00):
Like I said, free, differentevents, you know, like those
painting sips and things likethat.
Like I would love to havesomething like that, like that's
my like, that is my like endgoal, like life has completed,
like I have that is success.
When I can finally reach that.
(49:21):
So yeah, that's I don't know.
Put that out there, manifestthat for me everybody.
So yeah, back to the collegetransitions.
I think I had wanted to ask youabout like, like in, like into
(49:42):
it.
So you, when you first startedin Clark, when you first started
at Clark, you were going toin-person classes.
Then COVID hit right andeverybody was sent home, sent
online with the, and I don'tthink you ever returned back
(50:03):
in-person, right?
Speaker 2 (50:04):
No.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
And that was your preference.
So like I don't wanna talk alittle bit about that, because I
feel like I'm the opposite,Like I would so much rather be
in-person in class than online.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
No, I'm just not.
I don't got the attention spanto be sitting there listening to
you talk.
I'm probably just not gonnashow up, so might as well just
do it on my own time, and Idon't like when people tell me
what to do.
So, you know, I feel like whenyou're online it's like hey, can
you do all this for us?
And if you don't, then youdon't.
So yeah.
(50:38):
My time, my path, yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Let me explain.
I don't feel like I have thediscipline, like I need to be
held accountable, like if I haveto come to class and turn
something in, I'm gonna do it,versus you have to like really
be organized To write down duedates and contribute to those
online discussions, and it'sjust for my brain.
It's just too many things.
Like I need the accountabilityof being in-person, like before
(51:04):
you walk out of this classroom,here's the homework, you know,
here's what's due next week, andit's like okay, but like online
, I feel like you have to be theteacher, like you kind of have
to write everything out and poststuff on time, like oh my gosh,
I get the flexibility, but Icould not.
I tried it and I succeeded acouple of times, but honestly, I
(51:29):
feel like more than not, Ifailed the classes I took online
Because I just was notdisciplined enough to keep up
with everything that needed tobe done.
So, yeah, oh, anything else.
Speaker 2 (51:48):
No.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
No, well, I think that wraps our episode.
For those of you that are incollege, keep it going, keep up
the good fight.
Reach out to your resources,your mentors, your counselors,
your tutors and such.
For those of you entering,planning to enter, college, best
(52:12):
of luck, do your thing, getyour community and your support
around you.
And, you know, do what feelsgood, do what feels right, be
realistic.
And for those of you thatdidn't finish college, it's
never too late.
If you wanna go back, go back.
Take it slow, take your time.
There are grants andopportunities out there.
(52:34):
Check with your employers tosee if they have, you know,
tuition, reimbursement or anykind of scholarships, because
those are always available butnot communicated enough.
And for those of you, parentswith kids in these different
phases, just continue to besupportive and resourceful and,
(52:56):
you know, keep an open line ofcommunication through everything
.
I think that's one of thebiggest deals.
So until next time, like share,subscribe, leave us a comment.
We'd love to hear from you.
As always, we'll be droppingepisodes every week, for on
(53:19):
Wednesdays and, oh yeah, this isthe closeout.
We are closing season one.
Yeah, so we are at episode 10.
And we are closing out seasonone of getting to know me and
getting to know Jaila, and ourplan for next season is to start
(53:42):
bringing you new voices, soyou'll hear from some different
people and hear some additionalperspective, and we hope you
enjoy it.
We're gonna plan it out as bestas we can to continue providing
candid conversation and, youknow, addressing stigmas and
mental health issues and thelike, and so we hope you keep
(54:03):
going with us.
It's been real, it's been fun.
So, as always, take care, begood to one another, peace.
Hello and welcome back to let's Talk Later.
I am your host, Capri.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
And I'm Jela.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
And today we are going to be talking about
college life, collegetransitions, perspectives and
all things surrounding thattopic.
I thought this would be a funtopic, even though Jela's nearly
done with school.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I know.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I think it's important to reflect on where
we've come from, where we weregoing, and just share with the
people and provide some insightto maybe younger generations and
older generations, with kidsgoing into college and it's a
(00:48):
big deal.
So yeah, Jela, how are youfeeling today on this beautiful
what is this Friday?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah, it's a Friday.
Yeah, I feel good.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Nice, cool, ha ha ha.
We just picked us up someStarbucks.
Maybe one day they'll sponsorus or something you know, but
until then, get you an icedpumpkin chai latte cream.
Pretty good, if I say so,anyway, ha ha ha.
(01:21):
So, um, jela, you are in yourlast year, right?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, yeah.
How's that feel?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Back to episode one.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, like I don't know, Like I don't know, I'm
just like okay, cool.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Are you proud of yourself?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
No, like it's not that, like it's not my biggest
goal, so I'm not like in thatmindset where I'm like this is
it yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
So I know I'm not done, okay, yeah, okay, well,
that's interesting, yeah, thatjust.
I think that's insight to yourkind of the way your mind works
right, because even though, yes,this is not the end, this is
not your biggest goal, this isstill an achievement, like
graduating, getting a degree.
(02:21):
I mean not to everybody, don'tget me wrong.
Hey, some people don't careabout college school degrees and
whatnot.
You know, and this day and age,with AI and certifications and
crash courses and all thesethings and other ways and
avenues to make money, then youknow I get it, but it's still an
achievement.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, but this won't be my first degree, so then it's
like you see what I'm saying.
So it's like when I finished.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I'm like, yes, I did it, no for sure, I get it Well,
I'm proud, it's exciting.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Thanks, man.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
She was saying yesterday.
I hope what I'm saying is right.
It's Sima Cum Laude, you wannagraduate?
Yes, as you know, with thathonor, and I think that's
admirable.
Honestly, I won't lie, I'm justbeing fully transparent.
When I think about Sima CumLaude, I see white women, I see
(03:18):
young white girls, and thatsucks because I think I'm
attributing it to the media andso usually when you see those
news articles, they are youngwhite girls that are receiving
these honors.
So shout out to all of the, toall young people receiving the
(03:42):
honor of Sima Cum Laude or HonorRoll or just any high
achievement.
Just shout out to all of themBlack, brown, yellow, pink,
purple, blue.
It's phenomenal.
So let's journey backwards to Idon't know when do we start
talking about college or junioryear?
(04:02):
Yeah, yeah, journey back there.
What did it so like?
What was your dream school andwhat were, like, some of the
things you looked for?
So I have to go somewhere withA, b and C if you did.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, I mean my dream school.
It was so crazy because when wefirst started talking about
college, my college advisor Iknow that this is a very rare
actually, because when I went tocollege and I met other people,
they did not have collegeadvisors.
They were not like you're goingto college.
(04:46):
You know, pali was like you'regoing to college, like you're
gonna take this class and inthis class, we're gonna be with
you for the next two yearsjunior, senior year.
We're gonna help you write youressays, we're gonna help you
apply, we're gonna help you getthose ACT and SAT scores in, and
so they were very honest,whereas, like I know I'm not
quite sure, I don't know ifAliyah had this, but I think
(05:07):
some of my other friends didn'thave college advisors.
Their schools were like that'sonly all.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I didn't have it when I was in high school.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Oh wow.
So really, like when I firstwent to my college advisor, I
wanted to stay in Californiabecause I was like you know, I
don't know anything else, LikeI'm just gonna stay here, and me
and you we went to go visit LAand San Diego and I knew those
(05:36):
were not my schools, Like I justdon't.
I just didn't feel right.
And so after that I startedlooking at HBCUs because I
wanted to be around black people.
Since I did go to apredominantly white school, I
really wanted to go to an HBCU,or at least majority black.
I knew that I needed to.
(05:59):
I didn't wanna have atraditional dorm where I shared
a room with someone, so I neededto see what those freshmen
dorms looked like.
Yeah, After that I was justlike as long as it's majority
black, then I get my own room,I'm good.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Yeah, I do remember that.
About the tours, what the roomslook like, I gotta share.
I remember one dorm tour we did.
You said the rooms were tooclose to the living room.
Remember that one.
It had like dark color carpet.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Oh, wittier yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I was like, yeah, I don't wanna, I don't.
I think you were like I don't.
One of the schools there wereso many different things with.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
JLo was saying but you didn't even wanna finish the
tour.
At LSU?
No, not.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Loyola.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Marymount.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
LMU.
That's what it was.
No, because they were talkingabout oh, you're gonna go to
church.
I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, we're not
even gonna go there.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
We can stop here, we can just leave.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
It's like okay, Definitely not.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
We are spiritual folks.
We believe in a higher power,go so far as to say we believe
there's a God, regardless ofwhat God looks like, but just
not super strict, religiouslydevout people.
Although I was forced to go tochurch every Sunday and Bible
school and Bible camp during thesummers when I was younger, if
(07:27):
it's not for you, it don'tmatter.
I feel like you forced a childto do something.
If it's not for them, it's notgonna stick, and it did not
stick.
So yeah, just a little notethere.
But yeah, that was.
It was fun times, though I'llsay from the parent perspective
that it was I don't know.
(07:51):
It felt really good to be ableto be in a position to, for my
daughter to go to school, thatshe could go to college and do
something that I didn't do.
I mean, I went to college.
I didn't finish the full degreeI mean when I say full, I mean
(08:15):
the four year.
But I never always wondered.
I was like am I trying to livevicariously through her or what
is this?
But it's just no, I just wantedher to have the things and
experiences and opportunitiesthat I didn't have and that was
simply that.
(08:35):
So it felt really good to be ina position to basically, with
an employer, shout out toStanford I was to, you know I
was.
I've been there long enough towhere she is, you know, getting
her tuition paid for.
That's a huge boning andblessing.
It's a large part of the reasonthat.
(08:56):
I stayed and so, yeah, it's beeninteresting watching her find
herself through these schoolsand these programs and
experiences different things.
So I guess, on the flip side,what would you do differently,
(09:17):
like from the school tours toyou know you ultimately moved
across the country 3000 and someodd miles away, you know.
So the location, everythinglike.
What would you do differentlyin that selection process?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Be more realistic with myself.
When I was picking schools,like I remember I remember I was
I wanted to go to University ofHouston so bad I think.
We ended up going to visitTexas Southern and then I was
(09:57):
like no, this ain't it.
Went to university, switch overto University of Houston
because it was across the street.
I got in, we paid, we dideverything, but something was
literally telling me like do notgo, like this is not the school
for you, and I was so scared tolike tell you that because I
was like, oh, we paid, likeshe's gonna be so mad.
(10:21):
But like, looking at that now, Ithink that was my, like my
subconscious or something biggerthan me telling me that this is
not the right time for you toleave.
Because I ended up just like Ithink, like I told you you're
like hey, it's okay, likeunderstand things happen.
And then I just picked anotherschool, just the only other
(10:42):
school that was accepting likestudents like was Clark, atlanta
, and I'm like whatever, likeI'm gonna just go here because I
don't have any other options.
But I would have just stayed.
I would just stayed home,probably went to like a
community college for like thefirst two years, because
mentally I was not ready, like Iwas so not ready to like take
(11:04):
that leap and be by myself andbe independent, that it just
messed up a lot of stuff in my,like, college life, I guess.
So just being more real withmyself, setting more, setting
lower expectations to yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Okay, something you said strikes a question.
Oh no, not not really aquestion, but just kind of like
speak to that a little bit,because you know you're you're
almost done with your bachelor'sright and so, and you did kind
of bounce a little bit right,you went to a few different
(11:46):
schools and then ended up at atwo year and then now you're
back.
So at the end, talk a littlebit about that, just because I
feel like that's a valuableperspective and information,
because you know you follow thenormal trajectory, right, you
either enter your four year andyou go all the way, or you're a
start at the JC and then you go,or we know, whatever.
Just just you know, just givensome insight, that it looks
(12:10):
different for everybody.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, no, yeah, I started off at a four year, but
not to sit here and crap on youknow HBCU.
But I just didn't feelsupported at Clark Atlanta.
I was a psych major.
I honestly felt like theydidn't care.
They kind of were more aboutlike business and like media and
(12:32):
stuff because, like their alumwere people that were in the
entertainment industry, so theycatered more towards those
fields, I guess.
And I was also mentally notthere at Clark Atlanta and it
just was.
(12:52):
It was a lot, so I literallybasically went home.
I went home and dropped out ofClark Atlanta almost.
Yeah, like I just dropped out,I was like you know what?
I can't do this, I don't knowwhat I'm gonna do.
I ended up going to foothill,finishing up at foothill
(13:13):
somewhat, yeah, I was strugglingthere too Well, not as much,
but like I was having my ups anddowns still with like, really
like extending it out as much asI could because of that fear of
like, oh, I'm gonna have to goto like a four year now and
actually finish my degree andstuff.
And then, yeah, ended up inArizona State again.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, that's.
That's a big deal Like as faras like knowing or feeling
prepared to go into something,especially being independent,
like that transition from I'm inhigh school and I'm a teenager
to look at me, I'm on my own,like I'm managing I mean, for
(14:04):
the most part, I guess someparents and some dynamics, the,
the parents or the adults,caregivers, whatever Will manage
most of most of it.
But then I think in the, in thesituation when you're
transitioning and you're goingfar away from you know family
(14:26):
and and Resources, you you kindof become super independent,
like hyper independent, whereit's like you do have to do a
lot of the things on your ownBecause you don't have, you know
, anyone that you know, you knowaround you or that is
immediately available, and sothat for me.
(14:46):
That was always scary for me,because I feel like I wanted
like for a While, like when youwere little, I was thinking I
should just find a school thathas dorms for families and Leave
.
Like I wanted the same thing,like I wanted to leave so bad,
like that's that's all, like Ididn't even care about where it
(15:07):
was, I just wanted to leave,same thing I was.
I was trying to get away fromtrauma.
I was trying to get away fromthe people and the things that
had happened to me in thoseyears.
Following right and Got scaredcuz.
I was like what am I gonna do?
Like I don't know anybody.
And I have a kid like I thinkIf I were in your shoes in the
(15:29):
same situation, I probably wouldhave done the same thing.
But I had you and you werelittle and you were in school
and you know, even though a lotof the people around me weren't
Great people, there was peoplelike your grandma.
I was like I can't take herfrom her, like I can't leave
(15:49):
that support and so Like that.
That that is definitely a bigdeal.
In the way I chose my school.
I went to Cal State hey word,which I think they're now Cal
State East Bay.
I guess they change, I don'tknow.
I think so, but in the way Ipicked them is they sent me a
(16:11):
frame and Certificate and theywere like you've been admitted.
I was like, oh, this is so niceLike they, like this is such a
nice gesture, I'm going thereand I actually really liked it.
I won't lie, I like the people,the environment.
It was very diverse.
The teachers were amazing.
(16:32):
I wanted to major in dance andtheater.
Like I don't even I get.
I get the dance piece.
Let's do I have that piece.
I will always love dance.
But theater when I came from, Iguess, I guess because I mean,
if you think about it, intheater you're someone else, you
get to be someone else.
And you know, I've said inprevious episodes I spent a lot
(16:55):
of my, a lot of my life masking,being, you know, inauthentic,
not true to myself, because ofABCD, fg and on, and so I think
that's what that was.
But it was cool.
Like I would go hang out with acouple friends, like they lived
in the dorms right across thestreet and I would go hang with
them and I wanted to join theblack student union and I had
(17:17):
all these dreams, you know, andI was like maybe you know me and
Jaila could move into thesedorms over here, like I was like
kind of trying to startthinking about a life and Then,
um, I Really don't even knowanymore.
I think, honestly, I I'm stilltrying to recover that piece of
(17:37):
my life because I don't reallyremember everything that
happened.
But I know I got sick, I gotthe flu and I really, really
sick, and then I missed half.
I don't know if it was asemester or quarter system, but
I missed half of it and ended upFailing and then went on
academic probation and then Ithink the counselor at the time
(18:01):
said something like Honestly,because I got that was the times
of where people actually got alot of financial aid and so I
was getting like four thousanddollars for a quarter, and
because I had a dependent when Igot sick, you know, you go on
academic probation, you losethat.
And so she was like the bestthing for you to do is go to
(18:21):
foothill or go to a JC orsomething you know, for a you
know a couple quarter semesters,whatever, I don't know what's,
you know time frame, everybodyon.
But, um, and then come back andI was like, okay, okay, I'll do
that, that makes sense.
But losing that financial aidmeant I needed to go to work,
(18:42):
because I needed to have money,because I was, you know, paying
contribute into the householdand I was taking care of you,
and Work just became moreimportant because I had to live
and the household was toxic andand and a lot was going on there
(19:03):
and I had to get out, and so itwas like school who has time
for school?
So all of those dreams andplans like that that I was, I
was starting to have, they justWas like, well, can't do that
anymore.
So it was.
It was exciting to just to seeyou being able to do it and
(19:26):
Things.
But I know it wasn't easy foryou either, because you know,
like you said, you weren't readyand there was a lot for you and
on you too, because it's notlike you were living by yourself
with all of this, this newfoundSupport and resources around
you.
If anything, I feel like itopens you up to things that you
(19:48):
weren't acknowledging aboutyourself Previously, which may
have been destined.
You know honestly, because ifyou think about it, sometimes,
what do they say something Well,I still know how to swim.
Ain't that embarrassing?
But you know, a lot of peoplewere taught to swim by being
(20:09):
pushed into the pool and I thinkthat was kind of it for you.
You had to be pushed into it tosay, oh, hey, whoa, like it's
something bigger going on here.
But I want to hear, I want youto share.
You don't have to name namesback.
You had some very interestinglodging experiences.
(20:29):
Oh through school oh my god.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Let's talk a little bit about my dad.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Cuz cuz.
It ain't easy for everybody toroommate with people.
I understand that I don't thinkI've ever had a root.
Well, that's a lie, Iunderstand.
So, jaila, enlighten us on theroommate experience in college.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Oh my god, starting at Clark Atlanta, I stayed in
something called the sweets Umand it was basically like two
Little rooms with no doors so wehad to hang up a curtain rod to
give us, like privacy.
But it was better than thetraditional dorm.
So I was like, okay, cool, butmy roommate was so dirty.
(21:15):
She was so dirty, she wouldliterally have like a bunch of
trash piled up and I'm like yo,when is you gonna throw this
away?
You know, I'm saying like it'sgetting real weird in here.
Then we had a shared pantry andthis is how I knew I had to get
out of here.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Not the goop.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
My god, okay.
I used to eat terrible back atClark Atlanta.
I had some goober and if youknow what that is, that's
basically peanut butter andjelly in the same jar.
It's so good, it's so good, butit's so bad, so bad.
One day I'm about to go make mea PB and J sandwich and I open
it up and literally what was thepeanut butter missing, or was?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
it, the jelly missing .
I think all your Jelly wasmissing.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
She literally took all the jelly out of the jar and
just left peanut butter in it.
Didn't ask me if she could havesome, didn't ask me at all,
didn't let me know nothing.
I sent a picture to my mom andI knew that if I confronted her
about it we would have probablyfought, because back then I Was
a hothead and I didn't know howto communicate.
But it was so disrespectful andit was just like wow, like how
(22:29):
I'm supposed to have a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich?
You took all the jelly out myfreaking jar, bro.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Like who does that like for, who take all the jelly
?
Or or either one like not evenget some like remove.
I wouldn't have believed it ifyou didn't send me a picture
like I really would not havebelieved it because I just
Sometimes I can't fathom thethought of the audacity that
(22:56):
people be having.
That was, that was wow.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, and then when I went to Georgia or when I moved
back to Georgia and I stayed inAspen, my first roommate she
was, she was dirty, she had alot of beef for her boyfriend
and her upstairs neighbor was adomestic violence and I remember
(23:25):
this one time he was likebeating her up or something or
they was getting into it and hewas like you gonna leave me on
Crip or something like that andme and my roommate just
literally like yo, we have tomove.
I have to move because I can'tsleep.
I can't sleep at night and I'mvery sensitive to my sleeping
pattern and her boyfriend wasselling drugs out of our like
(23:46):
room and so the legal student,no okay.
This was the very first time Imoved to Aspen, on the fourth
floor, yep, and her boyfriendwas selling which will call it
drugs out of our apartment andlike dudes will come knocking at
like 5 am and I'm like, bro,I'm trying to go to sleep.
(24:07):
I can't sleep because myupstairs neighbor is a
gangbanging abuser and I'm tiredand your boyfriend is selling
drugs, so this is not okay.
All right, so then I moved.
They moved me to the thirdfloor and she had a huge dog, a
huge dog that she would lock inher room while she was gone.
(24:29):
She was the, she was a.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Teacher, teacher.
Yeah, she was a teacher, or shewanted to be a brother or
something.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, it wasn't even her dog, it was somebody else's
dog and it would bark all Day,from the morning until night
until she got home to let himout and just bark, bark, bark,
bark, bark.
And I'm like okay, like I Needto move, because not only can I
not sleep because this dog isbarking, but then my neighbor
(24:59):
was a producer who made beatsall night so I could not go to
sleep.
I could not go to sleep, and sothis was so much.
They moved me again to the fifthfloor.
So now I had nobody above meand and nobody on the side of me
either, and I had the room tomyself for a little while.
(25:21):
But then a girl from New Mexicomoved in.
She was the politician lawyerwanted to be and.
Things were good at first.
Like I was like, oh my god,like I might actually have a
good roommate.
But then she started to slip up.
Like her boyfriend was like inthe like Navy or something like
that and he was cheating on herand she was stressed out, she
was always complaining about himand she didn't have any food in
(25:45):
the house and she would alwaysmake salmon.
She would always make salmonand it was unseasoned and she
would always use my pots, in mypans and she didn't know how to
like clean up.
So one time she made oatmealshe made oatmeal, use my pot,
washed it quote-unquote.
I literally go to use the potand there's like dried oatmeal
(26:06):
in it and I'm like yo stop usingmy stuff.
Like stop it.
I literally bought baby locksor I bought locks or something
like that for the Cabinets thatonly I had to like magnet for,
so she would stop using my stufflike Don't use it.
Oh my god at all, don't use it.
(26:27):
And then she was only supposedto.
She was only supposed to use itfor, you know, she was only
supposed to be there for alittle while.
That's what I meant.
Um, and then finally she movedout and like I was just like
golly, like I'm good to go.
I didn't have a roommate for acouple months again.
Then I got my last roommate.
(26:48):
She was a good roommate.
I mean, for the most part shewas good roommate, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was getting those calls and
I mean, yes, it's.
You know, I would tell Jailer,like man, jailer, like you gotta
, you gotta learn to live withpeople, because sometimes people
need a little extra help.
You know not, these people grewup.
They're probably not the clean.
They probably, you know, da, da, da.
(27:16):
But at the same time, I get it.
You don't touch my stuff, don'teat my food, don't leave a big
old dog in your room all day and, like you know, yes, yes,
because it's, it messes up thequality of your life, because
you can't sleep and Trying to goto school and just all of these
things.
(27:36):
So, um, yeah, ultimately sheended up alone in her own
apartment.
She said I can't do this livingwith people anymore and she got
herself.
Well, we got her a one bedroomapartment and, yeah, that's,
that's seemed to be the bettersituation.
(27:57):
But then it came, jailer, you,you do be just upset, because
then it was the upstairsneighbors mom.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
I had video footage.
I had video footage Again.
I moved to a one bedroomapartment by myself, all the way
across the street from where Ijust came from.
I get there and I'm underdomestic violence again.
I mean, like they're arguing,they're beating each other up,
they slamming doors all throughthe night, like I.
(28:27):
This is when I started buyingmyself, um, the, the like a
headphone, sleeping band so Ican go to sleep at night.
But Like, come on, I'm tryingto watch tv and I hear you're
louder than my tv.
So, yeah, I complained to myleasing office and they moved me
.
We're at, the police called.
I guess I literally calledsecurity.
(28:48):
The police came and they wouldnot answer the door.
Like all this stuff happened.
And then the leasing office.
Because I remember I called theleasing office and I'm like,
hey, can you guys please sendsomebody up there?
I'm trying to go to bed.
I got work.
This is when I was working andI had to wake up at like 5 am.
I have to be up at 5 am.
Please tell the people just tobe quiet.
Give me three nights out theweek.
(29:09):
I don't care if you beat eachother up on the weekend.
Do what you want to do thenthey support domestic violence.
Yeah, but hey, but then theytold me to call the police
because this wasn't somethingthat concerned them or something
like that.
So did not call the police.
Even the police was like, ohwell, they're not answering, so
there's nothing we can do.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
That's so crazy.
I don't, yeah, and that's whatticked me off.
We, we tried to get legal aidand we got a little bit of help,
but not really nothing likethat.
Just because it's like how canyou say as the, the property
manager or leasing Office,whatever, like, the well-being
of tenants in your propertyisn't your concern for one, and
(29:50):
that means the, the poor peoplegetting getting Beed up,
whatever was happening, and thenthe tenant below and then he
tenants around you, like that'sDefinitely your concern, that's
the experience of your tenants,that's that's yeah, but anyway,
that's neither here nor there.
Um, I don't think I've ever hadthose issues, but I did have
(30:13):
some neighbor issues, like notin college, like I didn't yeah,
I didn't stay in college, but um, just living in apartment
complexes, right, people withheavy feet and sound like they
bowling and and playing Um in amariachi band all night, um, all
of that kind of crazy stuff.
But um, we had these oneneighbors that they lived right
(30:35):
above us.
I don't know if you rememberwhen we was um on Coleman.
Now, those were the peopleplaying, bowling and and and and
.
Uh was your square dancing atnight and most interesting group
of people living up there, if Iremember.
But no, whatever.
Um on in Palo Alto, where thelady would work out on the
(30:58):
stairs, huh, in Palo Alto, wherethe lady would work out on the
stairs and, um, they would watertheir.
They had kids and a dog andthey would water their plants
and the right on the patio andthe water would drip down and I
thought it was raining and itwas all in my head and they're
watering plants right up, but itwas just yeah that was.
(31:21):
That was absolutely ridiculous.
And then we finally moved intoa town home where we had no one
up or above or below us, andthat was, yeah, finally good.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Finally.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
But, yeah, jaila has some trials and tribulations
with the roommates, um, and sheis going back into a roommate
situation, one which I'm sendingall the good vibes and love for
, because it's going to beboxing.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yes, that's it.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Another question but it's someone that I feel like
this will be better because youknow, you trust and you have an
open line of communication soyou can provide feedback, and
vice versa, she can do the same.
So I have, I have, high hopesfor this, this situation,
because I can't even room withmy own mother.
(32:11):
I'm gonna tell you that and behonest, um, and I mean, this is
not a roommate situation with myhusband, even with him.
It's just we have our back andforth of, and you didn't do this
Right, like if anybody this,this, resonate with you.
Just give, give a little.
Should you to comment orsomething?
Um, you know anybody who don'twatch the backs of pots?
(32:33):
That kills me.
I don't understand it, andthat's been we've been, I think,
arguing back and forth aboutthat for at least six years and,
um, I gave up.
I just grabbed the pot, notjust again and wash it again,
because, yeah, I'm not going togo into that any further, but
(32:56):
that's yeah.
Anyway, check the back of yourpots if you live with somebody,
to see if they work, if theywash the backs of the pots, um,
so, yeah, jumping back in, um,did you ever, jaila, did you
ever feel?
I think you did.
But you know, talked to usabout filling homesick Like how
(33:16):
was that for you throughout youknow your years away in school.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Okay, let's say this when I was at Clark Atlanta, I
did not want to be there, Iwanted to go home and I was
super homesick.
I'm like, yeah, this ain't,this ain't going to work, and I
ended up just going home.
Yeah, I just left, I went andgot my stuff and I went home.
Um, but then when I lived inAspen, I didn't feel as homesick
(33:47):
.
Um, once I started, once Imoved to the fifth floor and you
know, I started making likereal friends and like real
connections and like kind ofbuilding my own family.
Um, to the point where, like,atlanta started to feel like
home and when I would come homefor like Thanksgiving or
something like that, I would behomesick about Atlanta.
(34:08):
Um, I can't wait to go back.
Like I miss my friends and likemy freedom.
Um, yeah, but I'm the type ofperson where if, like, I feel
homesick or something is tellingme to do something, I'm going
to just do it.
So I don't really think I givegood advice for people who miss
home.
Yeah, I'm just going to do it.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, I mean but that was advice, because you said
that it changed once you startedto build connection and
community.
Um, because, yeah, like I meanand even with that you can be
homesick, but, um, I I'm of thebelief that like relationships
and friendships are truly very,very important.
(34:51):
Um, because you know you canonly, you can only be so many
versions of yourself with oneperson or with two people.
You know you have yourrelationship with your mother,
you know some with their, youknow not some with it, with your
father, with your sister,siblings, you know all of that
type of stuff.
(35:11):
Um, but I feel like if youdon't have friendships like
there's this, this, like amissing component, almost like
Like you need people to to whereyou can, you can just be kind
of, just be just just a friendlywith.
Like you know you and I haveour relationship, um, and I
(35:34):
think we can.
I mean, I feel like we can bepretty authentic around each
other, but I'm your mom and youknow it's different than having
friends where you can.
You know you can turn up or youcan be crazy or you know
whatever with.
So it's just really important.
I value friendship so muchbecause it does, I feel like,
(35:55):
play a vital role in um.
You know how we live out ourlives, so my little piece there,
um.
So I mean speaking of likeadvice and guidance.
So you have people and I'llshare you know, a perspective as
well.
But you know you have peoplewho are probably you know it's
(36:19):
still in high school and ourthings starting to think about
college and what they want to doafter.
Like what you know gems, wouldyou get?
Provide them, you know, asthey're kind of thinking about
what adult life will look likefor them and transitioning out
of high school.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Um, if you don't know , don't go.
That's what I say.
I tell Sky that too.
Because guys like, oh, I don'tknow what I want to do, I don't
know what I want to do, I don'tknow, like, what I want to major
in and honestly, take a gapyear, like there's nothing wrong
with starting at your own paceor, you know, are taking a
couple of classes at a communitycollege and getting just work
(37:01):
experience and stuff like that,like I think that's always like
the biggest thing that peopleget lost at.
They just think like, oh, I'mjust going to go and I'm going
to pick a major and I'm going towork towards this major and if
I don't like it I'll change it.
But that screws you up initself because then you're
taking classes they have nothingto do with the new major you're
(37:24):
wanting to like go into.
Um, and then you just wastedmoney and time and effort on
classes that you didn't evenneed.
So do a little self discoveryand then you know, once you
figure that out, because youmight find out that college
isn't even for you.
You might find out you want tobe a real estate agent and you
got to go to a whole differentpath to become that, and doesn't
(37:47):
even involve college.
So you know, self discoveryfirst.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense and that is true.
I mean, yeah, just you know,like I said earlier, just what's
for you, because what you wantand what looks and feels good
for you is going to be differentthan whatever a handout or one
page pamphlet you know is goingto tell you.
So, definitely make the journeyone that is personal for you
(38:17):
and within your reality.
Right, I know, for me, I thinkit's still, it's definitely
generational too.
I think these generations thatare coming up behind even you
are looking at college a lotdifferent, Like I feel like
probably less so than you knowthe generations before Because,
(38:41):
again, there are so many otheravenues.
But for me, I feel like, likeeven right now I'm in this, I'm
in this very, very challengingphase where I'm like what next?
Because I've been, like I said,I've been doing HR for 10 years
before that you know, kind oflike project program management,
(39:04):
and I feel like I'm thiscompletely different person now,
Like I don't even feel the sameas I felt three months ago,
Like I feel like I am sodifferent and as far as like
what I want and what feels good,and I just don't know how to
really reach it, because I'mlike, do I need to go back to
(39:27):
school?
So that's the first thing,because when I'm looking at
these job descriptions, right,and I'm looking through
different postings, it's likeyou know, bachelor's preferred,
bachelor's desired, bachelor'srequired, you know, and I'm like
, well dang, you know, I haveall this experience, almost, I
mean two decades worth ofexperience but I don't have a
(39:49):
four year degree.
So is that going to keep mestagnant?
Is that gonna keep?
Is that gonna hold me back from, you know, getting these
opportunities to grow, or isthere something that I'm missing
because I'm stuck in thatmindset of you have to have a
college degree in order to makeX amount of dollars.
(40:10):
You know, and I think back to Ihad a Reiki session.
For those you know, Reiki isthe movement of energy through
your body and it can be done.
You can do it on yourself, youknow, if you have the practice
and the patience and theconnectedness, or there are
Reiki masters and practitionerswho can do this on you, and it's
(40:32):
basically to find out whereenergy is trapped in you and
help move it through your bodyso that you can think, feel and
operate more clearly.
And so I had a session done inAntioch at Abundance Well Spa,
hey, Daphne, and she was tellingme that she's.
(40:55):
You know, there's also thesepeople who are very intuitive
and very in touch with energyand spirit and just the world
around them, and so they receivesometimes what's called
downloads and it's like messagesfrom, you know, spirit, guides,
ancestors, whatever, whateveryou wanna call it.
And she had told me I don'tbelieve what you're going to do
(41:19):
will require you to go back toschool and I, ah, like it was
interesting to hear, but I hatedhearing it at the same time
because I still had so manyquestions Like that's one of
those profound things, like whatyou're going to do, does it?
But what is it Like?
I just, you know, I'm like Idon't know.
(41:42):
Maybe that's to my detriment,but I've always been kind of the
person that just I just wantthe answer.
I just want to know, instead ofhave to go through the
experience, because as I'm goingthrough the experience, I'm
constantly questioning is thisthe right way?
Is this the right thing?
Is this the right, you know, isthis the right passion?
I turn around and try that.
(42:03):
And so I'm at that point in mylife of where it's like I truly,
truly, truly, truly, truly donot want to do anything that
doesn't feel good, If it doesn'tvibe with my energy and my
spirit.
I don't wanna do it.
And so that's hard when, like Isaid, I'm just trying to figure
(42:25):
out what's next.
And I asked you know, I'm goingthrough these courses and I'm
asking myself the questions likewhat makes me happy, what
invigorates me, what do I enjoy?
You know, what about this worldbreaks my heart?
And I'm answering thosequestions, but it doesn't really
(42:48):
put it neatly into a packageand I think I just probably just
need to be okay with that, thatit's not a neat package and I
need to remove the I don't knowif you'd call it maybe the
American standard ofsingle-mindedness, like you can
only be this thing Like, oh,like what was that?
Was that Ray J or Soulja Boy orsomebody had?
(43:11):
Like all of these businessventures Like they made a Ray J.
Was that, Ray J?
And they were like laughing,like why are you doing all of
this stuff?
Like you're just doing so manythings you know, and it's like
what's wrong with that?
What's wrong with beinginterested in tech and wanting
to do gymnastics, and wanting toteach kids how to swim and
(43:32):
wanting to I don't know drivetrucks?
You know?
Like what's wrong with that?
And in my head they're like,even though I say what's wrong
with that, my standard thoughtis there is something wrong with
that.
Make up your mind, picksomething you know, Because if
you ask me what I enjoy, I couldname five different things that
(43:53):
have nothing to do with theother.
So I think that's the hard partfor me.
What do you think about that,Jaila?
Like I know you have a prettymuch defined path forward, but
like, do you think that you'llshift at all?
Like, tell me, well, tell thepeople, what your path forward
(44:15):
is, and then, like, do you thinkyou'll shift and want to like
dip your hands in a bunch ofdifferent things, or yeah, well,
you know, just looking at myprocess, or the steps and
changes I've made throughout myentire life At first, when I was
younger, I wanted to be anactress.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Yeah, you ruined that when you didn't take me to.
You didn't you should havefound a way to pay for that
Disney stuff?
Okay?
Speaker 1 (44:40):
You should have found a way.
Thank you for saying that,because do you hear this, Jaila?
I ruined it because I didn'thave iron funds.
I didn't have no money now.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
We could have been a star.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
We could have been.
You could still be a star.
I am a star already.
Go to LA, no, thank you.
I don't want to be that anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
You look Okay, so I want to be an actress.
And then I changed to God, Ithink in high school I was like
I want to be a psychologist.
And yeah, I think in highschool I was like, yeah, I just
want to be a psychologist, Iwant to help people, I want to
give back to people.
Then I wanted to be an academicadvisor because I realized how
(45:17):
much mine helped me.
But then I was like, eh, eh,yeah, it changed quite a bit.
So I know that now, where I'mat, I still want to be a
therapist or a psychiatrist Idon't know, whatever one comes
first, I guess and I also wantto help kids.
I also want to be a therapistfor people in prisons, like I
(45:42):
don't know why.
But basically I have a lot ofplans around therapy and giving
back to people who need therapy.
But I also want to own a stripclub.
So I'm pretty sure I'ma dip mytoes into a lot of things.
I'ma be like the next Ray J.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
You did say that I want to own a strip club.
That's so funny.
So before you, before I askthis first question, I mean the
second question did you see theclip?
There was this guy and he saidthat his profession he was a
Bible teacher, but he's savingup to own a strip club.
(46:18):
Have you seen that?
That's probably one of the mostbackwards thing, hey,
single-mindedness, why he can'tteach the Bible and support the
strip folk they might bestripping to, for the Lord the
Jesus songs.
We don't know, that ain't ourbusiness, but anyway, what, why,
(46:38):
why a strip club?
Speaker 2 (46:41):
I don't know.
I think it's the environment.
There's a lot of money goingaround, big booties, females
just doing their thing, dudesgetting a money took oh, I love
to see it.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Yep, I love that.
I love the nightlife too,though.
Okay, but I know I won't beable to be a part of the
nightlife forever cause I'ma getold, so it's always gonna live
on in my name.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know if you could say that I
feel like there are older peoplewho are still Not me.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
About the nightlife, not me.
Oh so about your mom?
Speaker 1 (47:17):
I am not Grandma, I am not talking about my mother,
because I don't think she's inthe night life anymore.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
I don't know actually .
Let me ask her she's reallygoing she's old and sitting at
house all day.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Yeah, with daddy, let me show you.
Oh, so anyway, that's justinteresting and I don't aspire
to own a strip club, but I dolike the nightlife.
There's something about theenergy, the freedom, the like,
you know, people just let looseand just vibe out.
(47:52):
You know, I wish, I would lovefor us to have a space where we
can all do that safely and, youknow, nobody gets any crashes or
anything crazy.
But it's a feeling Like I wouldlove to own a dance studio and
(48:14):
have events like at night, likeyou know, different kind of like
single, bring people together.
Like my thing is, whatever I do,I want a component of bringing
people together.
Like building community for meis so important.
And so, like that dance studio,like I'd want it to be big
enough, like I'd love to likebuy somebody's old big mansion
(48:38):
and like renovate it to wherethere's like a yoga room, a
massage room, like differentrooms where different, you know,
practitioners can do whateverthey need to do and those rooms
have a childcare center, have asauna, you know just all of the
space and then like also utilizethat space.
(49:00):
Like I said, free, differentevents, you know, like those
painting sips and things likethat.
Like I would love to havesomething like that, like that's
my like, that is my like endgoal, like life has completed,
like I have that is success.
When I can finally reach that.
(49:21):
So yeah, that's I don't know.
Put that out there, manifestthat for me everybody.
So yeah, back to the collegetransitions.
I think I had wanted to ask youabout like, like in, like into
(49:42):
it.
So you, when you first startedin Clark, when you first started
at Clark, you were going toin-person classes.
Then COVID hit right andeverybody was sent home, sent
online with the, and I don'tthink you ever returned back
(50:03):
in-person, right?
Speaker 2 (50:04):
No.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
And that was your preference.
So like I don't wanna talk alittle bit about that, because I
feel like I'm the opposite,Like I would so much rather be
in-person in class than online.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
No, I'm just not.
I don't got the attention spanto be sitting there listening to
you talk.
I'm probably just not gonnashow up, so might as well just
do it on my own time, and Idon't like when people tell me
what to do.
So, you know, I feel like whenyou're online it's like hey, can
you do all this for us?
And if you don't, then youdon't.
So yeah.
(50:38):
My time, my path, yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Let me explain.
I don't feel like I have thediscipline, like I need to be
held accountable, like if I haveto come to class and turn
something in, I'm gonna do it,versus you have to like really
be organized To write down duedates and contribute to those
online discussions, and it'sjust for my brain.
It's just too many things.
Like I need the accountabilityof being in-person, like before
(51:04):
you walk out of this classroom,here's the homework, you know,
here's what's due next week, andit's like okay, but like online
, I feel like you have to be theteacher, like you kind of have
to write everything out and poststuff on time, like oh my gosh,
I get the flexibility, but Icould not.
I tried it and I succeeded acouple of times, but honestly, I
(51:29):
feel like more than not, Ifailed the classes I took online
Because I just was notdisciplined enough to keep up
with everything that needed tobe done.
So, yeah, oh, anything else.
Speaker 2 (51:48):
No.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
No, well, I think that wraps our episode.
For those of you that are incollege, keep it going, keep up
the good fight.
Reach out to your resources,your mentors, your counselors,
your tutors and such.
For those of you entering,planning to enter, college, best
(52:12):
of luck, do your thing, getyour community and your support
around you.
And, you know, do what feelsgood, do what feels right, be
realistic.
And for those of you thatdidn't finish college, it's
never too late.
If you wanna go back, go back.
Take it slow, take your time.
There are grants andopportunities out there.
(52:34):
Check with your employers tosee if they have, you know,
tuition, reimbursement or anykind of scholarships, because
those are always available butnot communicated enough.
And for those of you, parentswith kids in these different
phases, just continue to besupportive and resourceful and,
(52:56):
you know, keep an open line ofcommunication through everything
.
I think that's one of thebiggest deals.
So until next time, like share,subscribe, leave us a comment.
We'd love to hear from you.
As always, we'll be droppingepisodes every week, for on
(53:19):
Wednesdays and, oh yeah, this isthe closeout.
We are closing season one.
Yeah, so we are at episode 10.
And we are closing out seasonone of getting to know me and
getting to know Jaila, and ourplan for next season is to start
(53:42):
bringing you new voices, soyou'll hear from some different
people and hear some additionalperspective, and we hope you
enjoy it.
We're gonna plan it out as bestas we can to continue providing
candid conversation and, youknow, addressing stigmas and
mental health issues and thelike, and so we hope you keep
(54:03):
going with us.
It's been real, it's been fun.
So, as always, take care, begood to one another, peace.
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