June 24, 2025 • 30 mins
In this episode, Tonya breaks down the five key mindset shifts that help leaders escape this validation trap and instead focus on generating real impact and team growth. Discover why trust outweighs likability, how effective delegation and boundaries fuel team performance, and why openly communicating your wins is essential for advancement. Whether you’re a new manager or an experienced leader ready to level up, these strategies will empower you to lead with clarity, confidence, and intention.
Enrollment is now open for the next LeadOpx cohort—a 90-day leadership and operations experience for managers who want to build high-performing teams and grow as intentional leaders.
👉 Learn more and grab your spot at cignalpartners.com/leadopx
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome back to Leveraging Operations and
Leadership, the podcast where webridge the gap between
high-impact leadership andoperational excellence.
I'm your host, tanya D Harrison, leadership consultant,
operation strategist and someonewho is deeply committed to
helping you lead with clarity,capability and confidence.
(00:32):
Today we're talking about oneof the most common leadership
traps.
This is the need to proveyourself.
Especially if you are new to arole managing your first team or
stepping into senior leadership, this desire for validation can
quietly creep in and run yourleadership journey right off
(00:56):
track.
You start by saying yes toeverything, over delivering,
over explaining and burningyourself and your team out
really fast.
But let's get clear you arehired for the value you bring,
not to prove your worth.
They've already seen somethingin you in order for you to get
(01:18):
promoted or hired into thatorganization.
So in this episode, I'll walkthrough five key shifts to move
from seeking validation todelivering real value.
These shifts will help you toreposition yourself as a
grounded strategic leader wholeads on purpose, not just for
(01:40):
praise.
Let's dig in, all right.
So shift number one let's starthere.
Shift number one is about beingable to go from do they like me
to do they trust me?
A lot of times when we are newin our role or new to positions,
we want people to like us right.
(02:02):
So, whether it be our team, ourpeers, we are really big on do
they like me?
Newsflash being liked is notwhat gets you results.
If you want to yield realresults, you need to focus on
being trusted.
Okay, so chasing approval?
(02:23):
It really leads to confusion.
What happens is, when leadersfocus on being light, they often
hesitate to make tough callsbecause they think about what
people are going to say and feel, and also they fail to set
clear boundaries, which hurtsyour leadership presence you
really want to focus on.
(02:44):
How do you gain your team'strust?
There's some data that backsthis up.
Research by Harvard BusinessReview shows that the trust is
the number one factor thatdetermines team performance.
This is more than skills, morethan experience, more than your
leadership charisma, more thanthem liking you.
(03:08):
They need to trust you.
Being trusted it doesn't meanthat everybody's going to agree
with you that's not what it'sall about but it does mean that
they believe in your intentions,your judgment and your follow
through.
And a key reminder here is thattrust isn't built through one
big action.
It's built through smallactions over time.
(03:31):
It's what you do on a regularbasis.
This is why it's so importantto have a leadership rhythm
right.
So let's talk about, forexample, communication being
consistent with your one-on-ones, having team meetings, giving
feedback and follow-up this is apart of your leadership rhythm.
Having clear expectations sopeople know what's expected, and
(03:55):
consistent follow-up All ofthose are things that are a part
of your leadership rhythm andyou do them on a regular basis.
And by doing them on a regularbasis, you are now showing
people that you can be trusted.
So, instead of chasing approval, build trust through
consistency, authenticity,transparency and follow through.
(04:18):
And if you want to hear moreabout building trust, you can
check out episode 25, buildingtrust and resilience and
leadership.
I dropped a couple of gems inthere so you can head over to
that after you listen to thisone.
And just to reiterate againtrust isn't built through one
big action.
(04:39):
It's built through smallactions over time.
Okay, shift number two.
This is where you are going tomove from.
I'll do it all to.
I'll lead the right things, andthis is a big one, a part of
trying to prove your value.
(04:59):
You end up trying to toucheverything, but when leaders
become the doers of everything,you actually become the
bottleneck.
You are the one that's actuallyimpeding progress, and that's
not a place that you want to beright.
So another stat for youaccording to a Gallup study,
leaders who delegate effectivelygenerate 33% more revenue than
(05:21):
those who don't.
Effectively generate 33% morerevenue than those who don't.
Delegation is the name of thegame.
There was a time that I feltlike I had to do everything.
If my boss gave me anassignment, I had to do it
(05:42):
because they were expecting meto do it.
And then there was a part of mewhere I wanted to make sure it
was done right, so I felt like Ineeded to do it.
What that did was that put mein the middle.
That made me the bottleneck.
There were things that couldn'tget done until I did my part,
and it really hurt the team.
Instead of helping the team, itstopped our progress.
(06:03):
We didn't move as fast as wecould have moved and I had to
learn right.
I had to learn with a mentor,that kind of like called me out
on it and she basically said youhave a whole team, but you're
doing it Like literally in ameeting.
I made the statement that I wasstill working on it and the
(06:24):
response was you're working onit like you have a whole team.
And while initially I wasembarrassed, I was like, oh my
God, like she called me out, butthe truth of the matter is she
was right.
I was hired to lead the team,not to do the work, and I had to
learn how to delegate.
(06:45):
So, you know, one of the thingsthat I learned is that position
leaders don't just manage tasks, they empower people.
They focus their time on doingthe things that they can do,
which is the strategy,development and decision-making.
By me delegating, I wasempowering my team.
I was teaching them things,they were learning, they enjoyed
(07:09):
it.
They even told me that theyenjoyed it, like, oh my goodness
, I'm learning something new.
So it really helps grow theteam.
And then, by me delegating anddeveloping them, I could now
focus on some of the things thatI needed to focus on.
It was extremely eye-opening,right, and it doesn't mean that
(07:32):
I never did any of the tasksthat my team did.
I did do it.
I did roll up my sleeves and dosome of the work at times, but
it was with intention.
It wasn't about, you know, mewanting to make sure it was
right or validation, or wantingcredit, anything like that.
My goal when I was doing it wasto bond with my team and I
(07:53):
wanted to show them that I don'task them to do anything that I
wouldn't do, and this was reallybig for them.
They like that.
They, you know they respondedto that for them.
They like that, they, you knowthey responded to that.
So you know, we have to rememberthat when you're proving, you
want to be seen doing everything, but real leadership is about
results, not recognition, andreal leadership is about
(08:17):
developing others.
So the better you position yourteam, the more position you
become as a credible, capableleader.
And just to kind of, you know,wrap this up, a McKinsey report
found that companies with strongleadership, bench strength and
team recognition practices are4.2 times more likely to
(08:43):
outperform competitors inrevenue growth.
So it's not just aboutdeveloping your teams, it's also
about recognizing them whenthey do things well.
So that's a part of it as well,all right.
So that is shift number two.
We are not trying to do all ofthe things.
We are leading the right things, all right.
(09:07):
So let's keep going.
That's shift number two.
Shift number three I need tosay yes to I lead with
boundaries.
This is something that is notjust professional, but it bleeds
over from our personal lives aswell.
We have to get better at havingboundaries in our life in
(09:28):
general.
I'm talking about from aprofessional perspective.
But just saying, when you'restuck in the proving mode, yes
becomes the default response.
You're saying yes to extratasks, you're saying yes to
unreasonable timelines andyou're saying yes to things that
don't align with the goal oreven with your role.
(09:51):
It's often driven by fear,right so?
Fear of being seen as difficult, replaceable, not a team player
, not enough.
You know, like I can't do it,and all of those things start to
flood our minds.
But position leaders don't sayyes to prove loyalty.
(10:12):
They make decisions to protectcapacity and impact.
Remember, we're talking aboutvalue here.
So I told this story before,where I was in the meeting with
the CEO and our CEO would comeup with these brilliant ideas at
3 am in the morning and thenhe'd bring them in and call
(10:32):
everybody into a meeting and hewould say you know, hey, I want
to do X, y, z and many of thepeople around the table would
say yes.
And these are high level execs,and I just happened to be in
the room a lot of times withthis level of people, even when
I was a manager.
So I learned a lot and Irealized that there were a lot
(10:56):
of people around the room wouldsay, yes, great idea, great idea
.
Oh, yeah, let's do it, even ifthey felt that it couldn't be
done.
There was this one guy, and hewas from the accounting
department, and he would say yes, but it was how he said.
Yes, he would say if we want todo that in the timeframe that
(11:18):
you want to get it done, here'swhat we can't do.
So he was basically presentingoptions, but he was allowing the
CEO to say yes or no.
Right?
Yes, I want to continue doingthis.
So he would say, okay, if wewanna do this, that means that
we can't do X Y Z.
If we want to do this, thatmeans it's going to cost us two
(11:41):
million dollars over here, andthen we can't do X Y Z.
So he would literally, yes, layit out where, yes, we could do
it.
But he would remind the CEO OK,when we do this, here's the
impact over here on the oppositeside.
So, in essence, he wasreframing and this is where I
really started to understand howreframing works.
(12:05):
And so he was really saying nobecause he knew some of the
other things that you know theCEO would have to forego.
We couldn't, because they alignwith the mission.
They were the core of what itwas that we were doing, and what
our CEO was now asking us to dowould derail all of that.
He knew all of that, butinstead of saying no, he
(12:28):
refrained it in a way where hepresented okay, we could do this
, but here's what can't get done, and I think that we have to be
really cognizant of how we domore of that right.
So it's not just a blanket yes,it's.
You know what I mean?
It's laying things out andmaking sure that they understand
(12:48):
.
So one of the things that youwant to practice saying is is
that when somebody gives yousomething or ask you to do
something, you make thestatement let me review this in
context of my priorities and getback to you, and this buys you
time.
And then it also sets priorityand it models intentional
(13:09):
leadership.
Now they know that they can'tcome to you and ask you to do
anything and you're going tostop what you're doing to
totally do that.
And if this request is comingfrom your boss, like in the
instance of the CEO, right, youcan reframe it and you can lay
out the other priorities thatthey have given you, or you can
ask them to meet and reassesspriorities.
(13:30):
Here's the five things that Ihave that I'm already working on
.
Where does this new priorityfit in Right?
So I'm not saying no, that I'mnot going to do it, I'm saying
where does it sit?
You've already given me theseother five things.
So you know, because we have toremember that, two things
everything can get done, but notat the same time.
(13:52):
I can get done the fivepriorities you already gave me
and this one, but they're notgoing to all get done at the
same time because we havelimited resources unless they're
willing to go beyond that, andevery yes is a trade-off and a
position leader, you protectyour time and you protect the
vision.
So if you've been giveninstructions where, so if you've
(14:12):
been given, you know,instructions where I'll just say
, as an example, we need toreduce turnaround time, and now
you're giving something that isgoing to contradict that or
impede with the success of that.
You need to let that be knownand then they can either
redefine what that goal is orusually what happens is they
(14:38):
think and they say, ok, well,maybe we can't do this right now
, but you have to remember isthat if you're just saying yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes, they'rethinking that is all going to
get done, we're going to meetall of the timelines, it's not
going to impact anything oranyone right?
So you have to set thoseboundaries or anyone right?
So you have to set thoseboundaries right.
So boundaries, they're notbarriers, they're leadership
(15:00):
tools that allow you to protectyour focus and your team's
clarity and your ability to leadwith purpose.
If you're constantly switchingback and forth, that means your
team is doing the same thingAgain.
You're impeding progress.
Your team is doing the samething Again, you're impeding
progress.
You are the one that has toreframe it to have these
conversations with peopleinstead of just being the yes
(15:23):
person.
And that can be tough, right,that can be tough, but you have
to have boundaries and your teamis going to thank you for it
and your boss will thank you forit, because there may be some
things that they forgot orthey're not aware of because
they're not involved at thatlevel.
All right, shift number four.
(15:45):
Here's where we are going fromI hope they see my impact, to
communicating it clearly insteadof sitting back and waiting for
somebody to see it.
Validation-focused leaders waitto be noticed.
Positioned leaders communicatestrategically right.
So it's not about bragging,it's about briefing.
(16:10):
And here's something that you'llfind I struggle with a lot of
these right, which is how Ilearned I struggle with this
because one of the things that Ialways thought or I grew up
hearing a lot was you have to behumble, and about having
humility, and so I understand.
(16:31):
I know it can be challenging,but what I've learned here's.
What I've learned is that beinghumble doesn't mean being
invisible.
What it does mean is that Ineed to stay grounded while
owning my impact.
So me sharing my progress, mywins, me sharing how I bring
(16:56):
value.
That is not about me not beinghumble, and that's why I started
by saying you're not bragging,you're briefing.
I'm letting people know what'sgoing on, I am making sure that
they are aware we have toremember that senior and
executive leaders are busy andthey may not see what you're
(17:19):
doing or what you're going on,and there is nothing, absolutely
nothing, wrong with sharing,and we can't sit back and wait
for people to notice it.
Right, it's really hard.
It's really hard for a seniorleader or somebody else to get
behind you in terms ofsupporting your growth if they
(17:40):
don't know what's going on, ifthey don't know right, so how
would they know?
You know, many times they're ona whole different floor than
everybody else, but if we're nottelling them, if we're not
sharing, they don't know thegreat work that your team and
you are actually doing.
So what you want to do is youwant to find ways to
(18:02):
strategically share thisinformation and again, when I
started doing this, it was alittle uncomfortable.
So for me, being brought up inthis state of you have to stay
humble and having humility andthen also being an introvert.
That was like times two, but Ihad to find ways.
(18:27):
Initially that I wasn't asuncomfortable, right.
So the first thing was creatingdashboards and monthly impact
emails, and it allowed me toshare information in writing.
I like to write and that waseasier for me.
So I came up with a dashboardwhere I would share what was
(18:49):
going on every month and thenincluded in it would be an
impact email and it would listout some of the highlights of
the month.
This gave me an opportunity toreally share some of the things
that we were doing within ourdepartment and I shared that
with my executive leader or asenior leader at the time, on a
(19:11):
monthly basis.
Half of the things they eitherdidn't know or didn't remember
or whatever, and one of thethings they either didn't know
or didn't remember or whateverand one of the things that you
have to remember is that it's atrickle effect.
Right, if your team does well,you feel good and you're going
to share it.
If you're doing well and yourteam's doing well, your senior
leader is going to share it, andthat is something that
(19:32):
naturally started to happen.
The other thing that I would dois, during emails, I would
strategically drop littlenuggets if we were talking about
a specific thing and if I had awin or something that aligned
with it, I would say oh yeah,you know, my team did a really
great job at da-da-da-da-da, youknow, reducing the turnaround
(19:54):
time from whatever to whatever.
Anytime there was anopportunity, I'm just going to
tell you I took it and I sharedit, whether it was via a report
or a dashboard or in meetings.
A lot of times, when you're inmeetings before and after their
small talk, that was anopportunity, because one of the
things I started doing is Iwould get to the meetings a
(20:15):
little early and then, if therewas an executive there, a lot of
times they're going to ask youso how are things going, how's
it doing?
That's an opportunity to sharesome of this information, and I
will say this once I made thisshift, things opened up for me.
I was literally at anorganization and I was in the
(20:37):
proving phase and I was headsdown doing the work and I was
just hoping that someone wouldsee my impact.
Now were there certain thingsthat they would see and they
were like oh yeah, you know,great job, but it didn't go
beyond.
You know my manager.
And then, when I left there andI started at another
organization, I decided thatthere were some things that I
(20:59):
needed to do differently.
I could not depend on my bossto share what I was doing or
even to recognize, with me andmy team, the successes that we
had.
And that's when I startedimplementing a lot of the things
that I'm talking to you about,and what it led to is me being
promoted from manager todirector in less than 90 days
(21:23):
and then to a senior director,and then just taking on
additional departments, and thisbecame a part of it, right?
So it wasn't about it wasn'tabout bragging.
It was about sharing all of thegoodness, all of the good
things.
So if we're back there, we'resaving money, reducing
turnaround times and all ofthese things.
(21:43):
That's could start by allowingthem to share wins during
meetings or having people overspecific metrics and they share
(22:03):
that metric out and they talkabout it and get them in the
habit of doing it.
And once I did this, what Irealized is they were sharing
with people in other departments, who were sharing with their
boss, who were sharing withother people.
So you know a lot of the impactthat we were making, spread it
across the organization, simplybecause we were just talking
(22:26):
about some of the things that wedid and how we did it, and what
that led to was otherdepartments wanting to
understand how we did certainthings.
All I'm saying is is that if youcome from the state of being
humble, I'm not saying that youcan't be humble.
What I'm saying is there'snothing wrong with sharing the
(22:46):
impact that you have, right?
So you know you really want tobe able to separate the two,
right?
So you can still be humble, butmake sure you're grounded, make
sure you don't walk around withthe big head.
How about that?
That's what I'll say.
Okay again, bragging andbriefing is two different things
(23:09):
, and we are just briefing andsharing.
Okay, all right.
So let's go ahead and wrap thisup with shift number five.
Shift number five is going fromam I ready to I'm becoming?
If you've ever thought, oh, Ineed to prove I belong here,
(23:30):
you're not alone, right?
So that's not something that isuncommon and there's a stat
that supports this.
The International Journal ofBehavioral Science found that
70% of professionals experienceimposter syndrome at some point
in their careers, and it'sespecially common in new leaders
(23:51):
.
But I want to remind youleadership isn't about being
perfect.
It's about being intentionaland always in progress.
Right?
The shift here that you want tomake is choosing growth over
perfection.
Perfection is going to keep youstuck.
Growth is what's going to helpyou continue to grow and go to
(24:12):
the next level, and it alsohelps you to grow your team and
help to grow them to the nextlevel.
Let's normalize this.
You will make mistakes.
You're going to make mistakes,you will get feedback, which is
a great thing, and you're gonnaget some feedback that may sting
, but that's okay.
(24:32):
And you will grow if you stayopen to the process.
You got to be committed to theprocess, okay, so you're going
to make mistakes, you're goingto get feedback.
It's not always going to feelgreat, but you will grow if you
stay open to the progress.
Here's three things that I wantto share with you to continue to
(24:56):
grow on this leadership journey.
The first thing is reflection.
You want to develop areflection routine that allows
you to pause and assess, thinkabout what worked, what didn't
work, what you can dodifferently, and I have an
entire episode on this.
So check out episode 30 calledPause, reflect and Lead entire
(25:18):
episode on this.
So check out episode 30 calledPaul's Reflect and Lead, and
during this episode, I sharereflection as a tool to becoming
a more grounded and intentionalleader, because this is a big
part of your leadership journey.
The second thing that you caninclude is invest in leadership
development.
Don't wait on your organizationto do it.
(25:38):
If they do it and they supportyou, that is great.
But even if they don't do it,you make sure that you are
investing in yourself and thislooks differently, right?
So it goes from reading booksto joining organizations, to
being a part of a leadershipdevelopment program.
(26:00):
Think about things, how you cangrow to the next level because
this is your journey at the endof the day and invest in their
employees.
Great, even if someone isn'tsponsoring you, you have to be
willing to sponsor yourself.
(26:20):
Is it that important to you?
The other thing is get a mentoror coach, or even a leadership
circle.
You wanna surround yourselfwith people who, number one, is
gonna give you that realfeedback, no matter how much it
stings, right?
So you wanna be around peoplethat's gonna give you that real
feedback, no matter how much itstings, right?
So you know you want to bearound people that's going to
give you feedback, that's goingto ask you questions, be
(26:42):
invested and help you go to thenext level.
And it would be nice if youcould surround yourself with
people who have gone furtherthan you or in the direction
that you want to go right,because they've already blazed a
trail and they could help youin navigating that space right.
So you know those are threethings that you wanna do to
(27:05):
continue to grow.
Reflection, invest inleadership development, get a
mentor or coach or a leadershipcircle right?
So that is it.
Those are the five shifts.
So just a really quick recap ofthe five shifts that's going to
help you to stop trying to proveyourself and be in this
(27:25):
validation mode to positioningyourself, showing impact and
value.
The first one is you want to gofrom being liked to being
trusted.
Second one is if you want to gofrom saying yes to everything
to leading with boundaries.
Number three from doing it allto leading and lifting and
(27:47):
developing others.
Number four from stayinginvisible to communicating value
with clarity and intention,just being strategic.
Number five am I ready?
Two I am becoming so.
Leadership isn't about showingoff.
It's about showing up withintentionality, structure and
(28:07):
the ability to grow forward.
I want to leave you with aquick message.
Validation says look at me.
Positioning says here's how Ican help.
It's time to stop chasingvalidation and start building
value with intention, strategyand operational structure that
amplifies your leadership.
If this episode spoke to youright where you are in your
(28:31):
leadership journey or wheresomeone else might be, share it.
These shifts are real.
They are necessary and worthreflecting on a regular basis,
and if you are a leader orbusiness owner trying to build a
high-performing team or createcapacity in your role, reach out
.
This is exactly why I createdthe Lead Ops program and this is
(28:56):
how I help leaders.
So until next time, lead withclarity, capability and
confidence.
You've been listening toLeveraging Operations and
Leadership.
I'm Tonya D Harrison.
Let's talk soon.
Welcome back to Leveraging Operations and
Leadership, the podcast where webridge the gap between
high-impact leadership andoperational excellence.
I'm your host, tanya D Harrison, leadership consultant,
operation strategist and someonewho is deeply committed to
helping you lead with clarity,capability and confidence.
(00:32):
Today we're talking about oneof the most common leadership
traps.
This is the need to proveyourself.
Especially if you are new to arole managing your first team or
stepping into senior leadership, this desire for validation can
quietly creep in and run yourleadership journey right off
(00:56):
track.
You start by saying yes toeverything, over delivering,
over explaining and burningyourself and your team out
really fast.
But let's get clear you arehired for the value you bring,
not to prove your worth.
They've already seen somethingin you in order for you to get
(01:18):
promoted or hired into thatorganization.
So in this episode, I'll walkthrough five key shifts to move
from seeking validation todelivering real value.
These shifts will help you toreposition yourself as a
grounded strategic leader wholeads on purpose, not just for
(01:40):
praise.
Let's dig in, all right.
So shift number one let's starthere.
Shift number one is about beingable to go from do they like me
to do they trust me?
A lot of times when we are newin our role or new to positions,
we want people to like us right.
(02:02):
So, whether it be our team, ourpeers, we are really big on do
they like me?
Newsflash being liked is notwhat gets you results.
If you want to yield realresults, you need to focus on
being trusted.
Okay, so chasing approval?
(02:23):
It really leads to confusion.
What happens is, when leadersfocus on being light, they often
hesitate to make tough callsbecause they think about what
people are going to say and feel, and also they fail to set
clear boundaries, which hurtsyour leadership presence you
really want to focus on.
(02:44):
How do you gain your team'strust?
There's some data that backsthis up.
Research by Harvard BusinessReview shows that the trust is
the number one factor thatdetermines team performance.
This is more than skills, morethan experience, more than your
leadership charisma, more thanthem liking you.
(03:08):
They need to trust you.
Being trusted it doesn't meanthat everybody's going to agree
with you that's not what it'sall about but it does mean that
they believe in your intentions,your judgment and your follow
through.
And a key reminder here is thattrust isn't built through one
big action.
It's built through smallactions over time.
(03:31):
It's what you do on a regularbasis.
This is why it's so importantto have a leadership rhythm
right.
So let's talk about, forexample, communication being
consistent with your one-on-ones, having team meetings, giving
feedback and follow-up this is apart of your leadership rhythm.
Having clear expectations sopeople know what's expected, and
(03:55):
consistent follow-up All ofthose are things that are a part
of your leadership rhythm andyou do them on a regular basis.
And by doing them on a regularbasis, you are now showing
people that you can be trusted.
So, instead of chasing approval, build trust through
consistency, authenticity,transparency and follow through.
(04:18):
And if you want to hear moreabout building trust, you can
check out episode 25, buildingtrust and resilience and
leadership.
I dropped a couple of gems inthere so you can head over to
that after you listen to thisone.
And just to reiterate againtrust isn't built through one
big action.
(04:39):
It's built through smallactions over time.
Okay, shift number two.
This is where you are going tomove from.
I'll do it all to.
I'll lead the right things, andthis is a big one, a part of
trying to prove your value.
(04:59):
You end up trying to toucheverything, but when leaders
become the doers of everything,you actually become the
bottleneck.
You are the one that's actuallyimpeding progress, and that's
not a place that you want to beright.
So another stat for youaccording to a Gallup study,
leaders who delegate effectivelygenerate 33% more revenue than
(05:21):
those who don't.
Effectively generate 33% morerevenue than those who don't.
Delegation is the name of thegame.
There was a time that I feltlike I had to do everything.
If my boss gave me anassignment, I had to do it
(05:42):
because they were expecting meto do it.
And then there was a part of mewhere I wanted to make sure it
was done right, so I felt like Ineeded to do it.
What that did was that put mein the middle.
That made me the bottleneck.
There were things that couldn'tget done until I did my part,
and it really hurt the team.
Instead of helping the team, itstopped our progress.
(06:03):
We didn't move as fast as wecould have moved and I had to
learn right.
I had to learn with a mentor,that kind of like called me out
on it and she basically said youhave a whole team, but you're
doing it Like literally in ameeting.
I made the statement that I wasstill working on it and the
(06:24):
response was you're working onit like you have a whole team.
And while initially I wasembarrassed, I was like, oh my
God, like she called me out, butthe truth of the matter is she
was right.
I was hired to lead the team,not to do the work, and I had to
learn how to delegate.
(06:45):
So, you know, one of the thingsthat I learned is that position
leaders don't just manage tasks, they empower people.
They focus their time on doingthe things that they can do,
which is the strategy,development and decision-making.
By me delegating, I wasempowering my team.
I was teaching them things,they were learning, they enjoyed
(07:09):
it.
They even told me that theyenjoyed it, like, oh my goodness
, I'm learning something new.
So it really helps grow theteam.
And then, by me delegating anddeveloping them, I could now
focus on some of the things thatI needed to focus on.
It was extremely eye-opening,right, and it doesn't mean that
(07:32):
I never did any of the tasksthat my team did.
I did do it.
I did roll up my sleeves and dosome of the work at times, but
it was with intention.
It wasn't about, you know, mewanting to make sure it was
right or validation, or wantingcredit, anything like that.
My goal when I was doing it wasto bond with my team and I
(07:53):
wanted to show them that I don'task them to do anything that I
wouldn't do, and this was reallybig for them.
They like that.
They, you know they respondedto that for them.
They like that, they, you knowthey responded to that.
So you know, we have to rememberthat when you're proving, you
want to be seen doing everything, but real leadership is about
results, not recognition, andreal leadership is about
(08:17):
developing others.
So the better you position yourteam, the more position you
become as a credible, capableleader.
And just to kind of, you know,wrap this up, a McKinsey report
found that companies with strongleadership, bench strength and
team recognition practices are4.2 times more likely to
(08:43):
outperform competitors inrevenue growth.
So it's not just aboutdeveloping your teams, it's also
about recognizing them whenthey do things well.
So that's a part of it as well,all right.
So that is shift number two.
We are not trying to do all ofthe things.
We are leading the right things, all right.
(09:07):
So let's keep going.
That's shift number two.
Shift number three I need tosay yes to I lead with
boundaries.
This is something that is notjust professional, but it bleeds
over from our personal lives aswell.
We have to get better at havingboundaries in our life in
(09:28):
general.
I'm talking about from aprofessional perspective.
But just saying, when you'restuck in the proving mode, yes
becomes the default response.
You're saying yes to extratasks, you're saying yes to
unreasonable timelines andyou're saying yes to things that
don't align with the goal oreven with your role.
(09:51):
It's often driven by fear,right so?
Fear of being seen as difficult, replaceable, not a team player
, not enough.
You know, like I can't do it,and all of those things start to
flood our minds.
But position leaders don't sayyes to prove loyalty.
(10:12):
They make decisions to protectcapacity and impact.
Remember, we're talking aboutvalue here.
So I told this story before,where I was in the meeting with
the CEO and our CEO would comeup with these brilliant ideas at
3 am in the morning and thenhe'd bring them in and call
(10:32):
everybody into a meeting and hewould say you know, hey, I want
to do X, y, z and many of thepeople around the table would
say yes.
And these are high level execs,and I just happened to be in
the room a lot of times withthis level of people, even when
I was a manager.
So I learned a lot and Irealized that there were a lot
(10:56):
of people around the room wouldsay, yes, great idea, great idea
.
Oh, yeah, let's do it, even ifthey felt that it couldn't be
done.
There was this one guy, and hewas from the accounting
department, and he would say yes, but it was how he said.
Yes, he would say if we want todo that in the timeframe that
(11:18):
you want to get it done, here'swhat we can't do.
So he was basically presentingoptions, but he was allowing the
CEO to say yes or no.
Right?
Yes, I want to continue doingthis.
So he would say, okay, if wewanna do this, that means that
we can't do X Y Z.
If we want to do this, thatmeans it's going to cost us two
(11:41):
million dollars over here, andthen we can't do X Y Z.
So he would literally, yes, layit out where, yes, we could do
it.
But he would remind the CEO OK,when we do this, here's the
impact over here on the oppositeside.
So, in essence, he wasreframing and this is where I
really started to understand howreframing works.
(12:05):
And so he was really saying nobecause he knew some of the
other things that you know theCEO would have to forego.
We couldn't, because they alignwith the mission.
They were the core of what itwas that we were doing, and what
our CEO was now asking us to dowould derail all of that.
He knew all of that, butinstead of saying no, he
(12:28):
refrained it in a way where hepresented okay, we could do this
, but here's what can't get done, and I think that we have to be
really cognizant of how we domore of that right.
So it's not just a blanket yes,it's.
You know what I mean?
It's laying things out andmaking sure that they understand
(12:48):
.
So one of the things that youwant to practice saying is is
that when somebody gives yousomething or ask you to do
something, you make thestatement let me review this in
context of my priorities and getback to you, and this buys you
time.
And then it also sets priorityand it models intentional
(13:09):
leadership.
Now they know that they can'tcome to you and ask you to do
anything and you're going tostop what you're doing to
totally do that.
And if this request is comingfrom your boss, like in the
instance of the CEO, right, youcan reframe it and you can lay
out the other priorities thatthey have given you, or you can
ask them to meet and reassesspriorities.
(13:30):
Here's the five things that Ihave that I'm already working on
.
Where does this new priorityfit in Right?
So I'm not saying no, that I'mnot going to do it, I'm saying
where does it sit?
You've already given me theseother five things.
So you know, because we have toremember that, two things
everything can get done, but notat the same time.
(13:52):
I can get done the fivepriorities you already gave me
and this one, but they're notgoing to all get done at the
same time because we havelimited resources unless they're
willing to go beyond that, andevery yes is a trade-off and a
position leader, you protectyour time and you protect the
vision.
So if you've been giveninstructions where, so if you've
(14:12):
been given, you know,instructions where I'll just say
, as an example, we need toreduce turnaround time, and now
you're giving something that isgoing to contradict that or
impede with the success of that.
You need to let that be knownand then they can either
redefine what that goal is orusually what happens is they
(14:38):
think and they say, ok, well,maybe we can't do this right now
, but you have to remember isthat if you're just saying yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes, they'rethinking that is all going to
get done, we're going to meetall of the timelines, it's not
going to impact anything oranyone right?
So you have to set thoseboundaries or anyone right?
So you have to set thoseboundaries right.
So boundaries, they're notbarriers, they're leadership
(15:00):
tools that allow you to protectyour focus and your team's
clarity and your ability to leadwith purpose.
If you're constantly switchingback and forth, that means your
team is doing the same thingAgain.
You're impeding progress.
Your team is doing the samething Again, you're impeding
progress.
You are the one that has toreframe it to have these
conversations with peopleinstead of just being the yes
(15:23):
person.
And that can be tough, right,that can be tough, but you have
to have boundaries and your teamis going to thank you for it
and your boss will thank you forit, because there may be some
things that they forgot orthey're not aware of because
they're not involved at thatlevel.
All right, shift number four.
(15:45):
Here's where we are going fromI hope they see my impact, to
communicating it clearly insteadof sitting back and waiting for
somebody to see it.
Validation-focused leaders waitto be noticed.
Positioned leaders communicatestrategically right.
So it's not about bragging,it's about briefing.
(16:10):
And here's something that you'llfind I struggle with a lot of
these right, which is how Ilearned I struggle with this
because one of the things that Ialways thought or I grew up
hearing a lot was you have to behumble, and about having
humility, and so I understand.
(16:31):
I know it can be challenging,but what I've learned here's.
What I've learned is that beinghumble doesn't mean being
invisible.
What it does mean is that Ineed to stay grounded while
owning my impact.
So me sharing my progress, mywins, me sharing how I bring
(16:56):
value.
That is not about me not beinghumble, and that's why I started
by saying you're not bragging,you're briefing.
I'm letting people know what'sgoing on, I am making sure that
they are aware we have toremember that senior and
executive leaders are busy andthey may not see what you're
(17:19):
doing or what you're going on,and there is nothing, absolutely
nothing, wrong with sharing,and we can't sit back and wait
for people to notice it.
Right, it's really hard.
It's really hard for a seniorleader or somebody else to get
behind you in terms ofsupporting your growth if they
(17:40):
don't know what's going on, ifthey don't know right, so how
would they know?
You know, many times they're ona whole different floor than
everybody else, but if we're nottelling them, if we're not
sharing, they don't know thegreat work that your team and
you are actually doing.
So what you want to do is youwant to find ways to
(18:02):
strategically share thisinformation and again, when I
started doing this, it was alittle uncomfortable.
So for me, being brought up inthis state of you have to stay
humble and having humility andthen also being an introvert.
That was like times two, but Ihad to find ways.
(18:27):
Initially that I wasn't asuncomfortable, right.
So the first thing was creatingdashboards and monthly impact
emails, and it allowed me toshare information in writing.
I like to write and that waseasier for me.
So I came up with a dashboardwhere I would share what was
(18:49):
going on every month and thenincluded in it would be an
impact email and it would listout some of the highlights of
the month.
This gave me an opportunity toreally share some of the things
that we were doing within ourdepartment and I shared that
with my executive leader or asenior leader at the time, on a
(19:11):
monthly basis.
Half of the things they eitherdidn't know or didn't remember
or whatever, and one of thethings they either didn't know
or didn't remember or whateverand one of the things that you
have to remember is that it's atrickle effect.
Right, if your team does well,you feel good and you're going
to share it.
If you're doing well and yourteam's doing well, your senior
leader is going to share it, andthat is something that
(19:32):
naturally started to happen.
The other thing that I would dois, during emails, I would
strategically drop littlenuggets if we were talking about
a specific thing and if I had awin or something that aligned
with it, I would say oh yeah,you know, my team did a really
great job at da-da-da-da-da, youknow, reducing the turnaround
(19:54):
time from whatever to whatever.
Anytime there was anopportunity, I'm just going to
tell you I took it and I sharedit, whether it was via a report
or a dashboard or in meetings.
A lot of times, when you're inmeetings before and after their
small talk, that was anopportunity, because one of the
things I started doing is Iwould get to the meetings a
(20:15):
little early and then, if therewas an executive there, a lot of
times they're going to ask youso how are things going, how's
it doing?
That's an opportunity to sharesome of this information, and I
will say this once I made thisshift, things opened up for me.
I was literally at anorganization and I was in the
(20:37):
proving phase and I was headsdown doing the work and I was
just hoping that someone wouldsee my impact.
Now were there certain thingsthat they would see and they
were like oh yeah, you know,great job, but it didn't go
beyond.
You know my manager.
And then, when I left there andI started at another
organization, I decided thatthere were some things that I
(20:59):
needed to do differently.
I could not depend on my bossto share what I was doing or
even to recognize, with me andmy team, the successes that we
had.
And that's when I startedimplementing a lot of the things
that I'm talking to you about,and what it led to is me being
promoted from manager todirector in less than 90 days
(21:23):
and then to a senior director,and then just taking on
additional departments, and thisbecame a part of it, right?
So it wasn't about it wasn'tabout bragging.
It was about sharing all of thegoodness, all of the good
things.
So if we're back there, we'resaving money, reducing
turnaround times and all ofthese things.
(21:43):
That's could start by allowingthem to share wins during
meetings or having people overspecific metrics and they share
(22:03):
that metric out and they talkabout it and get them in the
habit of doing it.
And once I did this, what Irealized is they were sharing
with people in other departments, who were sharing with their
boss, who were sharing withother people.
So you know a lot of the impactthat we were making, spread it
across the organization, simplybecause we were just talking
(22:26):
about some of the things that wedid and how we did it, and what
that led to was otherdepartments wanting to
understand how we did certainthings.
All I'm saying is is that if youcome from the state of being
humble, I'm not saying that youcan't be humble.
What I'm saying is there'snothing wrong with sharing the
(22:46):
impact that you have, right?
So you know you really want tobe able to separate the two,
right?
So you can still be humble, butmake sure you're grounded, make
sure you don't walk around withthe big head.
How about that?
That's what I'll say.
Okay again, bragging andbriefing is two different things
(23:09):
, and we are just briefing andsharing.
Okay, all right.
So let's go ahead and wrap thisup with shift number five.
Shift number five is going fromam I ready to I'm becoming?
If you've ever thought, oh, Ineed to prove I belong here,
(23:30):
you're not alone, right?
So that's not something that isuncommon and there's a stat
that supports this.
The International Journal ofBehavioral Science found that
70% of professionals experienceimposter syndrome at some point
in their careers, and it'sespecially common in new leaders
(23:51):
.
But I want to remind youleadership isn't about being
perfect.
It's about being intentionaland always in progress.
Right?
The shift here that you want tomake is choosing growth over
perfection.
Perfection is going to keep youstuck.
Growth is what's going to helpyou continue to grow and go to
(24:12):
the next level, and it alsohelps you to grow your team and
help to grow them to the nextlevel.
Let's normalize this.
You will make mistakes.
You're going to make mistakes,you will get feedback, which is
a great thing, and you're gonnaget some feedback that may sting
, but that's okay.
(24:32):
And you will grow if you stayopen to the process.
You got to be committed to theprocess, okay, so you're going
to make mistakes, you're goingto get feedback.
It's not always going to feelgreat, but you will grow if you
stay open to the progress.
Here's three things that I wantto share with you to continue to
(24:56):
grow on this leadership journey.
The first thing is reflection.
You want to develop areflection routine that allows
you to pause and assess, thinkabout what worked, what didn't
work, what you can dodifferently, and I have an
entire episode on this.
So check out episode 30 calledPause, reflect and Lead entire
(25:18):
episode on this.
So check out episode 30 calledPaul's Reflect and Lead, and
during this episode, I sharereflection as a tool to becoming
a more grounded and intentionalleader, because this is a big
part of your leadership journey.
The second thing that you caninclude is invest in leadership
development.
Don't wait on your organizationto do it.
(25:38):
If they do it and they supportyou, that is great.
But even if they don't do it,you make sure that you are
investing in yourself and thislooks differently, right?
So it goes from reading booksto joining organizations, to
being a part of a leadershipdevelopment program.
(26:00):
Think about things, how you cangrow to the next level because
this is your journey at the endof the day and invest in their
employees.
Great, even if someone isn'tsponsoring you, you have to be
willing to sponsor yourself.
(26:20):
Is it that important to you?
The other thing is get a mentoror coach, or even a leadership
circle.
You wanna surround yourselfwith people who, number one, is
gonna give you that realfeedback, no matter how much it
stings, right?
So you wanna be around peoplethat's gonna give you that real
feedback, no matter how much itstings, right?
So you know you want to bearound people that's going to
give you feedback, that's goingto ask you questions, be
(26:42):
invested and help you go to thenext level.
And it would be nice if youcould surround yourself with
people who have gone furtherthan you or in the direction
that you want to go right,because they've already blazed a
trail and they could help youin navigating that space right.
So you know those are threethings that you wanna do to
(27:05):
continue to grow.
Reflection, invest inleadership development, get a
mentor or coach or a leadershipcircle right?
So that is it.
Those are the five shifts.
So just a really quick recap ofthe five shifts that's going to
help you to stop trying to proveyourself and be in this
(27:25):
validation mode to positioningyourself, showing impact and
value.
The first one is you want to gofrom being liked to being
trusted.
Second one is if you want to gofrom saying yes to everything
to leading with boundaries.
Number three from doing it allto leading and lifting and
(27:47):
developing others.
Number four from stayinginvisible to communicating value
with clarity and intention,just being strategic.
Number five am I ready?
Two I am becoming so.
Leadership isn't about showingoff.
It's about showing up withintentionality, structure and
(28:07):
the ability to grow forward.
I want to leave you with aquick message.
Validation says look at me.
Positioning says here's how Ican help.
It's time to stop chasingvalidation and start building
value with intention, strategyand operational structure that
amplifies your leadership.
If this episode spoke to youright where you are in your
(28:31):
leadership journey or wheresomeone else might be, share it.
These shifts are real.
They are necessary and worthreflecting on a regular basis,
and if you are a leader orbusiness owner trying to build a
high-performing team or createcapacity in your role, reach out
.
This is exactly why I createdthe Lead Ops program and this is
(28:56):
how I help leaders.
So until next time, lead withclarity, capability and
confidence.
You've been listening toLeveraging Operations and
Leadership.
I'm Tonya D Harrison.
Let's talk soon.
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