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August 4, 2025 โ€ข 44 mins

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Ever feel like the world's chaos is threatening to overwhelm you? You're not alone. In this heartfelt conversation with Ed Garrity, who has spent three decades helping people navigate life's transitions, we explore what it truly means to find clarity and confidence amid uncertainty.

The constant pull between past regrets and future anxieties leaves many of us struggling to stay presentโ€”exactly where our power lies. "We try to control things we actually don't have control over," Ed shares from his own experience supporting aging parents while running a business and raising a family. This juggling act taught him the essential practice of returning to the present moment through breath awareness, nature connection, and daily gratitude.

What struck me most in our conversation was Ed's insight about isolation versus connection. When facing difficulties, many of us retreat inward instead of reaching outโ€”a pattern that begins in adolescence but follows us throughout life. "One of the most courageous things you can do is ask for help, even if you don't know what that help is," he recalls a high school student telling him. This vulnerability requires more strength than going it alone, especially for men conditioned to "power through" challenges.

We also explore how celebrating progress rather than fixating solely on outcomes builds sustainable confidence. Ed admits, "One of the biggest mistakes I've made is getting so focused on the result that I forget to celebrate the effort along the way." This perfectionistic trap robs us of present joy while undermining our resilience.

Perhaps most powerfully, Ed reminds us that when uncertainty looms, curiosity serves us better than scrambling for passion. "It's not passion first, it's curiosity first," he explains. This openness to exploration creates the space where inspiration naturally emerges, allowing us to take positive risks rather than playing it safe.

Ready to transform your relationship with change? Listen now, and discover how to navigate life's transitions with the clarity, confidence, and purpose you deserve.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Lift Win Self podcast.
I'm your host, nat Nat, andtoday I have a guest.
He is Ed Garrity and we'regoing to talk about, you know,
the chaos that's going on in theworld.
We're going to talk about whatit looks like to be gentle and
have grace, and also, how can weput into our self-confidence,
how can we put into trustingourselves and taking those leaps

(00:22):
, you know, going into theunknown and uncertainty.
So, ed, would you be willing tointroduce yourself to myself
and the listeners before westart this?

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Sure.
Thank you, nanette.
I'm so excited to be here andhave an opportunity to spend
some time with you and with allof your listeners.
For the past three decades now,I've had the privilege of
working with students andeducators and businesses,
talking about how do we navigatelife's transitions with clarity
, confidence and purpose, andthat's been my great work in the

(00:54):
world.
That's what I've been doing,and so I'm passionate about what
I talk about, and I've donethat through my keynote
presentations, through workshops, leadership trainings and
through my books, and alsothrough my podcast as well.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Okay, so before we get into this, would you be
willing to do a mindful momentso we can ground ourselves and
open up?

Speaker 2 (01:15):
I would love that.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
And for the listeners as you always hear, safety
first.
Don't close your eyes if you'redriving, but all the other
prompts you're able to follow.
So, ed, if you'll getcomfortable in your seating and
if it's safe to do so, gentlyclose your eyes and you're going
to begin breathing in and outthrough your nose, bringing your

(01:36):
awareness to watching yourbreath, not trying to control
the rhythm, just allowing it tobe in its natural state,
allowing it to guide you intoyour body.
There may be sensations orfeelings coming up, and that's
okay, let them come up.

(01:57):
You're safe to feel.
You're safe to let go,surrender the need to control,
release the need to resist andjust be, be with your breath,
drop deeper into your body.

(02:18):
Now there may be some thoughtsor to-do lists that have popped
up in the mind, and that's okay.
Gently, bring your awarenessback to your breath, creating
space between the awareness andthe thoughts and dropping deeper
into the body, being in thespace of presence, the space of

(02:41):
being.
Again, more thoughts may havepopped up.
Gently, bring your awarenessback to your breath, beginning
again, creating even more spacebetween the awareness and the
thoughts and completelysurrendering into the body, into

(03:05):
presence, into presence, intobeing, while keeping that
awareness, with your breath andbeing in your senses and in this
moment, at your own time and atyour own pace.

(03:26):
You're going to gently openyour eyes while staying with the
breath.
How is your heart doing?

Speaker 2 (03:33):
My heart is open.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
So you mentioned for the past three decades that
you've been helping others gothrough transitions.
You know life always lives andwhat we expect that story gets
demolished and then we have topivot.
Can you share something in yourown personal experience where
you've had to actually use yourown words and put it to the walk

(03:55):
?
Can you share where thatvulnerability has helped you to
better relate with your clientsand the people that you're
speaking with?

Speaker 2 (04:04):
better relate with your clients and the people that
you're speaking with.
Sure, I mean the first thingthat comes to mind now, and that
is when I was helping myparents as they were getting
older and dealing with differentillnesses and ailments and they
needed more and more help, andso my parents lived very close
to me and so I really was.
A lot of my energy andattention went to trying to

(04:25):
really help them navigate thattowards the end of their life.
And so to be, to be able tonavigate that also by raising,
also at the same time raising afamily and and also as an
entrepreneur, running my ownbusiness.
It was.
It was a lot of energy andattention on that my parents
were, I was, so I was so closeto my mom and my dad you know

(04:46):
they both have passed away now,but at that time there was,
there was so much stress, therewas a lot of chaos, a lot of
uncertainty, and in that therewas a lot of love and grace.
But I had to stay centered inthat and there were moments
where I got off center and gotoverwhelmed and stressed and
anxiety and that chaos that Iwas experiencing at certain

(05:09):
times is kind of what a lot ofpeople are going through right
now in their life and in theirworld, and so one of the things
that I had to do to navigatethat was really what we just did
a moment ago was I had tocenter myself, I had to get back
into the present moment.
What we just did a moment agowas I had to center myself, I
had to get back into the presentmoment, because I think when
we're dealing with chaos,oftentimes what we do is we go
to the past or we go to thefuture and we try to control

(05:32):
things that we actually don'thave control over.
So it was a great life lessonfor me to focus on what I can
control and to let go of what Ican't, and to bring grace and
space around people and wherethey're at in their life and
what they're going through, andwhat am I responsible for and
also what am I not responsiblefor.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
As a male, you know there's a different way that
you're showing up in the world.
And males, sometimes strengthis powering through and just
bulldozing.
In this experience that you had, where did you soften and where
did you allow the sensitivityto be felt?

Speaker 2 (06:15):
It's a great question , because sometimes what happens
when we're faced withchallenges in our life?
We have a tendency sometimes topull back and isolate ourselves
, and you even see that rightnow, with a lot of the changes
that are going on in the world,that instead of reaching out,
people are pulling back and weisolate ourselves.
I spent all these three decadesspending a lot of time with
teenagers speaking at middleschools and high schools, and
that's one of the things thatteenagers struggle with is that

(06:38):
when they're going through achallenge in their life, instead
of seeking support and help,they tend to isolate themselves.
Well, that pattern doesn't stopfor us when we get out of
middle school, high school,college.
That's a pattern that people gothrough their whole life still
doing that, especially even asmales, and so one of the things
that really helped me navigatethose challenges was in the

(06:58):
beginning, or there are certainmoments when I would I pull
myself back and say I can dothis on my own, or I'll figure
this out, or I'm going to stayprivate and guarded, and then
say then you know what.
Actually I'm not going to dothis alone.
I really need to seek supportand I need to seek connection.
I need to make sure that I'msurrounding myself with those
positive people in my life thatcan have a stand for me, that
have a listening for me, thatgive me grace, that give me love

(07:21):
, and I think that's so.
So, if there's someone rightnow that's that's going through
some really difficult changes intheir life and going through a
difficult transition, I reallywould strongly encourage them.
Yeah, you have to seek thatsupport, you have to be able to
seek that connection.
And, uh, as a as a senior inhigh school once told me at an
assembly I after, after aprogram I did she said you know
Ed?
She said to me she was.

(07:41):
I've been through a lot in mylife and she said you know what?
I realized One of the mostcourageous things you can do in
life.
I said what's that she said toask for?

Speaker 1 (07:55):
help, even if you don't know what that help is,
and I thought that was such agreat life lesson.
Yeah, I was just about to saythat because my son's
psychologist, when he would dospeakings with the schools he's
the one thing I would love toleave this earth and let
children know is, and evenadults is.
The strongest thing you can dois ask for help, and many of us
we've been taught to figure itout on our own, just bulldoze it

(08:15):
on your own, especially whenyou know my generation.
Emotions weren't tolerated asmuch, so it was like go deal
with it in your room and whenyou're all fixed up, come back
out.
So it was like go deal with itin your room and when you're all
fixed up, come back out.
So it's like but there's theseemotions I don't even know how
to engage with or understand.
And so you know you said itbang on about the patterns that

(08:36):
once you start isolating, thatjust is a default for the
nervous system of like okay,this is, this is safety, this is
comfortable, I can predict it,so let's just stay here to open
ourselves up to the possibilitythat somebody else could show us
a different way and could loveus.
In the messiness can feel veryviscerally uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
Absolutely not.
And I think it also goes backto what we just did a moment ago
of presenting ourselves, ofgetting centered.
Because I think right now inthe world that we live in, in
this fast-pacedtechnological-driven world,
we're so connected 24-7 that Ireally believe that because of
that connection to thattechnology that we're getting

(09:20):
pulled into the past, that we'regetting pulled into the future,
it's fear, it's going back toguilt and to shame, and so it's
so important for us to be in thepresent moment.
And the question then is how dowe be in the present moment
right here, how do we not getpulled into the past or pulled
into the future?
And you just did it with ushere a moment ago.

(09:49):
I think the first thing you doto get in the present moment is
you have to be aware of your.
You get your power of yourbreath, of being aware of your
breath, but taking the time tobe quiet and to taking the time
to really to get, to get outsideand to connect with nature If
it's just a quick walk or to getoutside and just connect with
with earth, to connect with theenvironment around us.
Because if we don't have the,if we don't have that present
moment, awareness.
Then we are we get pulled intothat chaos and we get pulled

(10:11):
into that disruption that takesus off course.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, I'm presently revamping my website and editing
a media kit, trying to do aworkshop.
So just getting engaged with itand I see myself just
continuously go, go, go.
And there's so much that youcan do and it's like, oh, you've
waited too long and why?
And now it's like depression,it's like I'm thankful for the

(10:37):
tools that I have, that I canjust back away, like take a
breath for a minute, back away,just get re-centered, because
there is a draw to it.
There is never ending ofpossibilities, of what can be
improved, what can be saved,what can work out, what is new.
Yet, if you're not in thepresent moment, are you really

(10:58):
living?
Are you really feeling thefullness of who's around you,
what's being experienced rightnow?
Because you know that carrotwith a donkey chasing the carrot
that you never get to eat,that's a real thing that goes on
in the world and that's whatmany of the industrial complexes
use to have people control thatyou have that fear of not

(11:20):
enough.
So when you reach this, thenyou'll get safety.
When it's like no, create thesafety right now.
Create the safety in your body.
What I do is help people tocome out of their head, to come
back into their body, which canfeel very uncomfortable because
there's a lot of stuff storedthere that you haven't wanted to
feel.
So you know, how do you takecare of yourself in this chaos

(11:46):
right now.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
Part of it is staying in the present moment.
But, once again, how do youstay in the present moment?
Because it's so easy to say,well, just be in the present
moment, be here now.
And we covered a couple things.
One is the power of breath.
One is taking the time to justget quiet, to connect with
nature, one of the things that Ido, and it's a daily practice
of really creating that practiceof gratitude in my life, of

(12:10):
being aware of what am Igrateful for right now, what am
I grateful for right now, andreally getting present to that
of like.
I'm grateful for my wife, I'mgrateful for my kids.
I'm grateful for my friends.
I'm grateful for where I live.
I'm grateful that I feel saferight now.
I'm grateful for my friends.
I'm grateful for where I live.
I'm grateful that I feel saferight now.
I'm grateful for all theopportunities that lie before me
.
I think it's really important tohave a daily practice of

(12:31):
gratitude in our life, because Ithink it's celebrating even the
small things or the big things,but it reframes the day.
It does, and I think it setsyou up to win the day, and it
sets you up even to win the nextday, but to really bring that
into your life.
What am I grateful for rightnow, and then to express that
gratitude to the people aroundus.

(12:52):
That's one of the things that Ido every day is I really take
that time to be like what am Igrateful for right now?
I also take the time to journal, journaling when we have.
Do I journal every day?
No, but I do take the time tojournal consistently a few times
a week.
But I do take the time tojournal consistently a few times
a week and that gets me presentagain.
I've got to put my thoughts out.
Two years ago, I took a 200-houryoga certification to be a yoga

(13:13):
teacher power yoga and thattaught me so much about
connecting the mind to the body,to the spirit, and it is a
holistic approach.
And I think the other thingthat really has helped me
navigate that chaos and thatchange that's going on in the
world is, I think we have tohave a strong sense of faith, of
spirituality.
Whatever that faith is, therehas to be a connection to

(13:36):
something higher, something more.
There's something more powerfulout there that we're connected
to For me, I call it God, butfor anyone but there has to be
that higher connection, thatwe're all connected in this
world, that we're not alone,we're actually together, and I

(13:57):
really believe that it's united,we stand.
It's divided, we fall.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
If there's a listener right now and you could whisper
to them and they're sharingwith you that they feel like
they're failing, what would thatwhisper be to them?

Speaker 2 (14:12):
so focused on the goal itself or, oh, if I have
this then I'll be happy, or whenI get there, then I'll be happy

(14:33):
.
And we're in this constantstrive mode of getting to
something or getting somewherethat we're not acknowledging the
progress that we're makingalong the way, that we're
actually not really givingourselves the credit of what
we've accomplished and how farwe've come.
I think it's one of the biggest.
I think it's one of the biggestmistakes that I, that I, that
I've realized and I've done,I've done it in my life and I in
the, in the individuals thatI've worked with, in terms of
their, their striving to achievesuccess, is that they get so

(14:56):
focused on the result, nat, nat,that they that they forget to
celebrate the, the effort andthe progress along the way.
And and if you don't celebratethe effort, if you don't
celebrate the progress, you know, if you're only focused on the
goal, that's when you get caughtin that trap of perfectionism
and you try to start to sayeverything has to be perfect
because I have to reach the goal.

(15:16):
You know, jim Rohn always saidit's not just about the goal,
it's about who you become andwhat you experience on the way
towards that goal, even with ourkids are no longer kids,
they're young adults now.
But even going through school,we didn't focus completely on
the grade.
Yeah, the grade was important,but we never really focused on
the grade as much as we focusedon the effort and how hard they

(15:39):
worked and taking the time to dothe homework.
And because we did that, theydidn't get too stressed about
the grades and they ended uphaving great grades.
But because they there wasn'tthe pressure on that, it was
more about who they werebecoming along the way.
Um, the other thing I thinkit's important is when you talk
about celebrating the effort.
Well, how do you celebrate theeffort?

(15:59):
Um years ago, I did, I did somework with strategic coach um in
toronto, canada, uh, with withDan Sullivan, and one of the
things that he shared with uswas create a positive focus.
You know what are the positivethings that happened to you
today, or what are the positivethings that happened to you for
the week and literally for thelast, almost now 10 years?
Every week, my wife and I willdo a positive focus.

(16:21):
We will.
I'll do my top 10, my top 10,12, 13 things are positive
personally, professionally, andI'll do my top 10, 12, 13 things
that are positive personallyand professionally, and I'll
write those down and then mywife will do the same and then
we share them and you take adeep breath because you're like,
wow, most people we do so muchin a week and someone says, what
did you do this week?
And you don't even remember whatyou did this week.
And yet you did so much andsometimes you don't even feel

(16:42):
like you've even accomplishedanything.
But when you take the time todo that positive focus, when you
celebrate the effort along withthe result, I think that helps
you give yourself a little bitmore grace, like okay, it helps
you continue to build and keepyour confidence, which I think
we all struggle with in life iscontinuing to build our
confidence and sustain thatconfidence.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
What would you say to the listener that is using the
comparison trap?
And you know, when we compareourselves to somebody else, if
we're in that negative bias ofthat nervous system, it's never
good enough and you can find allthe faults of what you're not
doing right where comparisonshould be on yourself, of how
you continuously are consistentwith you know, improving

(17:27):
yourself, and that means makingmistakes.
I think a lot of people don'tunderstand that learning is
about making mistakes.
Yet we're so conditioned to beon the honor roll because of
education or getting that youknow A or you know knowing
everything.
Where it's like really livingis being confident and saying I
don't know, because you're notgoing to know everything, but

(17:48):
you're willing to learn.
So what would you say tolisteners going through that?

Speaker 2 (17:54):
I think this.
What I would say is this Ithink there's so much, there is
so much talk right now aboutresilience and about
perseverance, and how do we beresilient?
And I think sometimes we forgetthat resilience doesn't come
from the but, it doesn't comefrom the wins, it comes from the
setbacks.
We take the setbacks and weturn those setbacks in the great
comebacks.
And when we do that, then westart to build our resilience.

(18:15):
It's when we're faced with anobstacle in our life and we take
that obstacle and we turn itinto a great opportunity is how
we continue to build that, tobuild that resilience to keep
moving forward.
You know, sometimes people saypeople are sometimes some of the
individuals that I've workedwith they'll say you know, I
just don't know where I want togo, I don't know what's next for
me.
And sometimes the answer ispeople will say well, if you

(18:37):
don't know that, then just gofollow your passion.
And what I believe is it's notpassion first, it's actually
curiosity first, because it'sthrough our curiosity that we
can start to discover what we'reinterested in and what we start
to really get inspired about.
And I think, especially thisgeneration and especially
because of what with COVID andalso the uncertainty that's

(19:00):
happening in the world right now.
People are, in a way, playingit safe.
We're like holding ourselvesback from stepping outside of
our comfort zone and trying newthings and taking positive risks
.
And it's only through takingthose positive risks and trying
new things that we're going tobe able to really step outside
of our comfort zone and reallybuild a life that we love around

(19:20):
that.
So it's not passion first, Ibelieve it's curiosity first.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yeah, I think that's one of my.
That's why I use the name NatNat.
My name is Natalie, yet myfriend's son nicknamed me Nat
Nat from like what?
He's going to be 25 next week,so like for 23 years now, or 24.
And you know some people, whenI started the business model of

(19:45):
Lift One Self, they were likemaybe you should stop with this
nat-nat thing and be moreprofessional.
And it was like no, I'm goingto keep nat-nat because you need
playfulness for this inner work.
You need to unleash thatcuriosity.
You need to be in a child statekind of curiosity, because when
we're children we don't havemeaning, we don't have
expectations, so we can explorein so many different places.

(20:08):
When we start to develop,that's where the meaning starts
to come into our mind, and thenthe expectations, and then it
starts to diminish thatcuriosity.
So how would you, you know,what are the tools or strategies
to allow curiosity to flourishin people that may be rigid and
are like what the heck are youtalking about?

(20:28):
I don't know what you mean.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
I think it's exposing yourself to new things, but
it's also taking the time toread and to be in a dialogue and
to be in conversations thatwe're having right now, because
language is generative.
So, you know, our words createour reality.
You know, I had a footballcoach in high school.
He used to say you know, peoplesay talk is cheap, Talk's not

(20:51):
cheap.
People make talk cheap.
I think that we really need tohonor our words and we need to
honor our actions and that's howwe start to really build a life
of integrity, build a life ofcharacter.
So, yeah, that to me is, Ithink one of the most important
things is to be aware of thelanguage that we're using, of

(21:12):
our words, the power of ourself-talk.
You know, Nat Nat right, wehave 60, 70,000 thoughts a day.
That's what they say theaverage person has.
And now the studies have shownin neuroscience that you know
90% of those 80 to 90% of thosethoughts that we have not only
the same thoughts as yesterday,but those are negative thoughts.
So I really would share withthe listeners here that if you

(21:34):
know, if you're going through atime right now of challenge and
transition and change how, whatkind of language are you using
and speaking and not only toothers, but also to yourself?
How are you talking to yourselfthe power of self-talk?
Are you saying I'm such a badperson, I'm not good enough or
I'm not worthy?
Or are we saying you know what?
I am capable, I am strong, I amsmart, I have the ability to

(21:57):
get through this, I haveeverything I need right now to
succeed?
The power of self-talk, I justthink, is so important.
And then how we talk toourselves influences those
around us as well, Cause peoplefeel that energy.
I'll give you a quick example.
Last summer I was golfing withmy son and we paired up with
another father and his son andwe get up to the tee box and the

(22:18):
the father hits a, hits hisfirst tee off into the woods and
he goes oh, I'm such an idiot,oh, that was so, I'm so bad.
And then we go to another holeand he starts.
He starts swearing about howhe's a lousy putter.
Well, then we get to the fifthhole and he's still calling
himself all these names abouthow lousy he is and how bad he
is.
And next thing you know hisson's like on the ninth hole,

(22:41):
his son hits a.
His son says I'm such an idiot,I'm so bad, so he's just
modeling exactly how his dad wasbehaving.
So I just think we need toreally be aware of the language
that we're using and how we talkto ourselves, and then also the

(23:03):
conversation we're having withpeople and what we're focused on
, Because there is a lot ofchaos going on in the world, but
if we keep talking about thechaos and the chaos and the
chaos, then we're just, we'refeeding it.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
And that's why I have theseconversations to empower people
to understand, like where you'regiving the example of the
father, many people don't evenunderstand that they are
identified with the nervoussystem and the nervous system is
bred in negative bias.
It has one function don't die.
So it's always seeing problemsand acknowledge it so that you

(23:47):
can go back into the space, thespace of presence, the space of
opportunity, the space of theunknown and uncertainty.
Yet, you know, we don't evenrecognize some of the language
was the language of people thatwere around us when we were
younger and we're justregurgitating because we didn't
know how to feel our emotions,like when you're hearing that
man and the frustration and notgetting to where the expectation

(24:08):
is that by bypassing and notfeeling your emotions, it just
goes into the negativity ratherthan be curious and be like, oh,
this is interesting and how canI change that?
Yet you know the sometimes theblack and white thinking can be
very challenging for people.
That well, you know.
Just say black and whitethinking can be very challenging
for people.
That well, you know.
Just say this and have positivetalk.

(24:30):
I think the middle piece is okay.
Well, understand your biology alittle bit more and you won't
have to force this positivetalking.
It will just come intuitivelybecause the fear will melt into
the love.
It's not one or the other, it'show do we integrate the two?
And how are we aware, as yousaid and I appreciate you

(24:51):
highlighting that if you keepfocusing on the chaos, it's
going to feel like chaos.
Your nervous system is going tobe riddled with fear.
So be very cautious of thecontent of visually hearing
environments.
You have to take care of youbecause we're very easily
influenced.
As much as you can have a guardup, after a while, things can

(25:13):
erode and things can diminishall the work that you've put
into yourself.
So always be, you know, curiousand have those accountability
people around you.
Is that one thing that you'verelied on is having a circle of
accountability of of people thatwill remind you of worth and

(25:34):
that you can mirror that back tothem also?

Speaker 2 (25:37):
Absolutely, I think.
I think I think there are threecores, and you just mentioned
it is that you know if we'regoing to continue to build our
confidence and if we're going tocontinue to be able to embrace
change and we're going tocontinue to build our confidence
and if we're going to continueto be able to embrace change and
we're going to navigate life'stransitions with clarity,
confidence and purpose, I thinkit starts with being in the
present moment and then I thinkit continues with, once we're in
the present moment, we have tomake sure that we're choosing

(25:58):
our attitude and our mindset,because you can always choose
your attitude, you can chooseyour mindset.
So for me, it's a process ofbeing in the present moment,
choosing the attitude that Iwant to have.
We're not talking toxicpositivity here.
We're talking about it's apowerful choice of your attitude
, of how are you seeing theworld around you, your mindset

(26:20):
of how am I going to live today,this moment.
So, present moment, attitude,choosing your attitude, then
seeking the support andconnection who you're
surrounding yourself with whenyou have the choice to do so,
because the company that we keepplays a huge role, not just in
terms of how we feel.
It plays a huge role in thechoices and decisions that we
make, because one of thegreatest influences in our lives

(26:41):
I truly believe that beyondourselves, beyond our faith and
our values, is the company thatwe keep.
All growing up, my dad wouldremind me.
You know, remember, there aretwo things that will separate
you from others the books thatyou read and the company that
you keep.
So when we have the choice todo so, we surround ourselves
with those positive people inour life.
I think, then, it's ourenvironment.
You know, it's not just who wesurround ourselves with, it's

(27:03):
what we surround ourselves with,whether it's the quotes, the
pictures, the things thatinspire us, the things that
remind us of where we want to go, what we want to achieve,
taking the time to light acandle, taking the time to light
some incense, keeping our spacezen or as clean or as neat as
possible.
There's research now that showsthat that if you have clarity

(27:23):
around you and your environment,then you're a little bit more
at ease.
The energy is able to flow more.
So it's who we surroundourselves, it's what we surround
ourselves with.
I also think that now and Iknow you've talked about this
before is the power of our bodylanguage, of our physiology, of
how we sit and how we stand andhow we move.
And part of that is our breath,right, it's like breathing in
and taking that in it changeseverything.

(27:46):
So we need to be aware of whowe're surrounding ourselves with
.
What are we surroundingourselves with, our body
language, our physiology, andthen really getting excited
about what are our goals, whatare we up to in our life.
It's always amazing whensometimes I'll ask people so
what are you up to?
What are your big goals?
No-transcript.

(28:35):
You know I spend a lot of timeworking with kids and I'll
always tell the kids to dreambig and you know where do you
want to go and who do you wantto become.
And I think it's a message notjust for kids, it's also for
adults.
I mean, even my wife and I, ourkids, are about to.
We'll be empty nesters nextyear and you know so what's next
for us?
And so it's exciting.
That's there's, there's allkinds of possibilities there.

(28:56):
So to the listeners right noware like maybe feeling a little
bit lost or feeling like youknow what's next, to really just
take the time to reflect.
To really just take the time toreflect Like where do you want
to go, like what's next for youand many of your listeners, I
know, have probably heard thisexercise before, but I think
it's.
I love doing the every year.
For the past 30 years I've madea dream board, a vision board,
and I go and I put on myfavorite music, and music

(29:17):
anchors your emotions.
You know that, nat and Nat.
And then I go through and I gothrough the magazines of my
interest and I'll find picturesof my goals and my dreams and
where I want to go.
And it's not a collage ofpretty pictures, it's something
that really just helps me.
It doesn't mean that I just putit up there and a lot comes
true, but it just keeps mefocused, because where your
attention goes is where yourenergy goes, and so it keeps me

(29:42):
focused in terms of, like, whatam I up to in my life, life?
So sometimes when we do thosedream boards, those vision
boards, something like that,we're able to articulate our
hopes and our desires and ourwishes in a way that we wouldn't
otherwise be able to articulateor express it through the
spoken word or even through thewritten word, but through the
visual pictures we're able toactually get some clarity.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, thank you for reiterating all the things that
people can get into and I amvery big on advocating the power
of choice.
You know there can be the worstthing that happens in your life
and, yes, the experience, yeah,it shouldn't have happened.
It's horrible, and People tryto make meaning out of the

(30:24):
situation, which some thingsyou're not able to make meaning
for it's.
What are you going to choose todo with it?
How are you going to show updespite what has happened to you
?
How are you going to alchemizeor transform that?
Are you just going to repurposewhat occurred or are you going
to transmute it and change it?

(30:44):
Because power of choice, it isas simple as that.
And when you say that, somepeople might be like, yeah, easy
for you to say they justhaven't tapped in to recognize
the autonomy and the powerwithin their minds Because
they're so, like I say,identified with that nervous
system that everything justlooks black and everything goes

(31:06):
wrong for me and everything isthis where they're not
recognizing.
Okay, well, breathe and feelthrough that fear, yet
recalibrate and find the powerof choice.
You know we have great examplesNelson Mandela, for two decades
being imprisoned and comingback out and being able to share
dinner with the person thatimprisoned him.
And coming back out and beingable to share dinner with the

(31:28):
person that imprisoned him thesethings are possible.
Viktor Frankl, you know a mansearching for meaning.
That is another great exampleof somebody that went into the
trenches of the darkest parts ofhumanity and made a choice of
how he was going to show up.
So it's not like it's notpossible, it's just being able
to ignite that power of choice.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Everything we've talked about here in this
conversation has come down to achoice, because it's really in
every year of our life we havethe power to choose.
We do, we choose our attitude,we choose to be in the present
moment.
Oftentimes, when we have thechoice to do so, we can surround
ourselves with the people wewant to surround ourselves with.
When we have, you know, we havea choice in terms of the

(32:10):
environment the environment thatat least that's around us, that
we can shoot, you know, controlaround us, that, okay, at least
I can choose, at least have mydesk right here, be be in a
space of, of, of Zen, be a spacewhere it's clear whether it's
clutter free, so that I'm notdistracted, and all that.

(32:31):
It's all choices.
I think one of the mostpowerful choices we can make is
to not let our past determineour future, or to not let where
we come from determine or limitwhere we can go or what we can
achieve.
I think the other great choicethat we have the power to make
is and we talked about itearlier is the choice to ask for
help.
People say you have to do thework, you have to do the work,
you have to do the work andpeople say what do you mean?
What's the work?
Well, the work, is to say, isto bring that mindfulness and

(32:52):
the consciousness of saying whyam I thinking the way I'm
thinking or why am I feeling theway I'm feeling, and getting
present to how I'm feeling.
We've seen great changes in thelast 10 years, with people
being able to say I need somehelp and go get therapy and to
do some counseling, and, and I,I, I don't think that should be
ever be put off, I think itshould be embraced.

(33:12):
I've worked with ahypnotherapist now for for over
a decade and it's been powerfulwork for me.
So I just, once again, I thinkto the listeners here you know,
to ask for help, and and andthen to accept the listeners
here you know, to ask for helpand then to accept the help too,
not just ask for it, but tothen to receive it.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
Yeah, receiving is a very vulnerable state.
It's very powerful to givebecause you're an empowered
state.
To receive means avulnerability and that's the
work I know that's the biggestwork for myself is receiving.
So that has been something thatI have engaged in in the past
few years to do that work.
So, yeah, asking for help butallowing yourself to receive it

(33:54):
and knowing that you'redeserving of receiving that love
and compassion, thatunderstanding that also you know
somebody helping you to reframeyour perspective, I think
that's the biggest healing partof the shift, because when your
perspective is only seen one way, when you shift it you can see
it a different way.
It's like I never knew therewas this side of the world or

(34:17):
this side of life and feelinginternally, even though there
could be chaos on the outside,internally it feels good and it
kind of blows your mind wherethat doesn't kind of make sense.
Yet you understand what thatinner work looks like and feels
like.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
Yeah, nat, you made a great point about that.
You know the giving and thereceiving.
And you're like, yeah, it'shard for people to receive
sometimes, to receive the help.
And it's not just help, I thinkit's also even just a gift from
someone, even a gift of saying,hey, I want to help you, or I,
I, I want to give this to you.

(34:54):
And you're like no, I'm all set, I don't need it.
I'll give you an example.
It just happened.
The other week I was workingwith a.
I was working with a client andthey had reached out to me the
week before.
They reached up to my officeand they were like well, ed's
coming early in the morning,does he drink coffee?
We'd like to get him a coffeeand we'd like to make sure you
know it.
Does he have like any breakfastchoice?

(35:16):
We'd like to get him a muffinfrom this great muffin shop in
the in the town.
And so my Susan, my manager,she, she said, she called me up
and said do you want?
Do want a coffee, do you want amuffin, and all that.
And I was like no, I'm all set.
I'm all set, I'll be fine.
So then, when I got there to theevent and I was talking with

(35:37):
the client, she said, oh, she's,I wanted to get you some coffee
and I wanted you to get thatmuffin.
And I was like, yeah, no, I'mall set.
I know you had a lot going onand I didn't need you to go get
me a coffee and the muffin.
And it was so profound.
She looked at me and she saidyou know, it was more, it wasn't
about the coffee and the muffin.
She goes, I just wanted to, likeI wanted to really celebrate,

(35:57):
celebrate you being here.
And she said to me she goes,you know, that was going to be,
that was kind of my gift to you.
And I and you know I didn't, Iwasn't able to do that and I
just thought it was so profound.
Like sometimes we shut peopledown when they offer to help and
say, hey, I want to make you acake, and you're like, no, I
don't, I don't want the cake,except the cake, except the gift

(36:19):
.
And I was reminded of that lastweek.
I was like, wow, when someoneoffers something to you like
that and you think you're savingthem time, you're saving them
inconvenience, it's actually not, you're actually almost pushing
them away.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you for being vulnerableand sharing that.
I think that's going toresonate it resonates with me
and I'm sure there's a lot ofother people that will resonate
of recognizing you're denyingother people from the gift of
showing their appreciation foryou that's it and highlighting
you, which can be reallyuncomfortable when you're a

(36:55):
giver and wanting to empowerother people to really receive
that for yourself that you areappreciated.
I think that's one of ourbiggest works, like that's one
phrase that I leave witheverybody, even my sons.
When they leave, they're like Iappreciate you, mom.
But when I go through thedrive-thrus or anybody is
servicing me, I'm like Iappreciate you, and some of them

(37:16):
just jolt because they've neverheard that.
Or some get teary eyed becausethey haven't heard that, and I
think we need to have that morein our language.
That you're appreciated, notfor what you do, not for what
you're like.
You know what you canaccomplish.
Just as you're being.
You are appreciated so that youcan cultivate and grow from
there.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
I think when you appreciate someone and when you
look, when you're appreciatingsomeone, you're acknowledging
someone and you're you're,you're letting them know I see
you.
I think that see you.
I think it's one of the biggestthings that all human beings
need is that we all want to feellike we belong and we all want
to feel like we've been seen andwe've been heard.

(37:57):
I do a lot of work helpingstudents make transitions, like
into their first year of college, and that's one of the things
that we all and right now, ourdaughters right now getting
ready to go off to college andyou know what do I want for her?
You know I want her to feelsafe.
But then the next thing Iwanted to feel is that she
belongs, that she feels belongsand that she's been seen and
heard and that she knows thatshe matters.

(38:19):
And I think that's what we allwant.
We all want to feel like webelong, but we all want to feel
like we've been seen and thatwe've been heard.
And that's why that goes backto the present moment again, Nat
, because we can only let peopleknow that they're being seen
and heard if you're present, ifyou're really with them.
I have a podcast called ParentsNavigating the Teen Years and

(38:41):
it's one of the biggestquestions I get from parents.
They'll say well, how do youknow?
I'm trying to really connectwith my team and they seem to be
pulling away and I'm like areyou really present, Are you
really right there in the momentand are you really listening to
their words and are you reallyobserving and watching them?
Because you can't be at dinnerand be on your phone and then

(39:02):
have a conversation while you'restill on your phone.
The multitasking does not workand people still justify it.
But I know phones have been agreat tool and technology has
been a great tool, but I thinkthe more we get connected
through technology, the morewe're getting disconnected from
real relationships.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
It's a real addiction .
It really hits our chemicalreceptors and everything else.
So biologically you know asmuch as people want to engage
and it sounds great in theory toactually physically do it.
You go through a lot of thingsviscerally inside your body and
it's to have space to understandwhy that's going on and why

(39:42):
it's so addicting.
I'm mindful of time, so I wantto bring you into a reflective
question.
I want to ask you what do youthink your past self would say
to you right now?

Speaker 2 (39:54):
I think my past self would say to me look how far
you've come, look how much workyou've done, and to be gentle
with yourself.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
And what would your future self say about fear?

Speaker 2 (40:09):
I think my future self will say about fear is that
it's made up and that it's notabout being afraid and it's not
about being fearful, it's aboutbeing fearless.
And I think we can be fearlesswhen we live our life through
gratitude, through our faith,and really align our thoughts

(40:32):
and our feelings and our actions.
When we do that, then I thinkthat fear goes away, because we
know in our heart what reallymatters and what we stand for
and what we believe in.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Now, this is a deeper reflection.
Now, this is a deeperreflection.
What would your body say if?

Speaker 2 (40:48):
it had a microphone.
Thank you, thank you, thank youfor the gift of life.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
Beautiful.
Now I know many listeners arelike where can we find Ed?
So can you let the listenersknow where they?

Speaker 2 (41:03):
can find you and your offerings.
Sure Thanks, nat.
Nat, you can find me at mywebsite.
It's edgeritycom, it'sE-D-G-E-R-E-T-Y and you can find
information about my keynotes,my workshops and my books as
well.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Thank you.
Now I'm going to ask you fromthe heart what is one intention
you want to leave with thelisteners?

Speaker 2 (41:26):
My intention for the listeners here is to do the work
, which means to keep exploringand take the time to read, read
books on things that you'requestioning and things that
you're curious about.
Take the time to keep listeningto these podcasts this podcast
and other podcasts that can helpyou grow and to learn, because

(41:47):
we only grow if we continue toput ourselves out there.
So my intention for thelisteners is to keep doing the
work, keep exploring, keepasking the questions.
Why do I feel this way?
Where am I going?
What do I stand for?
What do I believe in?
What really matters in my life?
And I think that those areimportant questions to ask, and
sometimes we're afraid to shinea light on those.

(42:08):
But I think when we do shine alight and we start to answer
those questions and we getcomplete with things that we've
been through in our past, thenwe're that much closer to
navigating our way to a lifethat we love.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
Well, I want to say I appreciate you, ed, and thank
you for coming here and beingvulnerable.
I appreciate you, ed, and thankyou for coming here and being
vulnerable, really showing someparts of your personal aspect as
well as your professional, andreally the passion that you have
of wanting to bring themessages out, to empower people,
to create community.
So thank you so much for allthat you do in the world and the

(42:42):
light that you shine.
Thank you, nat.
Nat, I love your spirit and Ilove the difference that you're
making in the world and thelight that you shine.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Thank you, nat.
Nat, I love your spirit and Ilove the difference that you're
making in the world.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
Thank you, I receive that.
Please remember to be kind toyourself.
Hey, you made it all the wayhere.
I appreciate you and your time.
If you found value in thisconversation, please share it
out.
If there was somebody thatpopped into your mind, take
action and share it out withthem.
Somebody that popped into yourmind, take action and share it
out with them.
It possibly may not be themthat will benefit.

(43:11):
It's that they know somebodythat will benefit from listening
to this conversation.
So please take action and shareout the podcast.
You can find us on social mediaon facebook, instagram and
TikTok under Lift One Self, andif you want to inquire about the
work that I do and the servicesthat I provide to people, come

(43:35):
over on my website, come into adiscovery, call liftoneselfcom.
Until next time, pleaseremember to be kind and gentle
with yourself.
You matter.
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