Why Healing Feels So Hard And What No One Talks About

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Healing isn't just about breakthroughs and transformations; it's about showing up when your nervous system is exhausted. We explore what inner work really means when it's not aesthetic, curated, or packaged for social media.

• The glamorization of inner work versus its rugged reality
• How our bodies store what our minds try to override
• Why silence becomes a shield when expression feels unsafe
• Guided breathing exercise for nervous system regulation
• The messy middle of healing that never makes it to Instagram
• Building capacity through pausing, breathing, and self-reflection
• Permission to be whole even when you're still figuring it out

Be kind to your nervous system and welcome home to yourself. If this resonated, leave a comment, share it, or send it to someone who's in the messy middle too.

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Music:

Palms by Text Me Records / Bobby Renz
Gemini by The Soundlings
Sunset n Beachz by Ofshane
Misdirection ...

Episode Transcript

NatNat Be (00:00):
You ever cancel a therapy session the moment
you're about to log on, notbecause you're avoiding the
truth and not because you'regiving up yet, because you're
already holding so much that theidea of going in one more time
just feels like too much.
That's the part no one talksabout, not the breakthroughs,

(00:20):
not the glow up, the weight ofshowing up when your nervous
system is already exhausted.
Hey love, welcome back to theLift One Self podcast, where we
talk about what it really meansto heal, when it's not aesthetic
, not curated, not something youcan package in a 30 second reel

(00:40):
.
Today I want to talk about thework, and I mean the real kind,
not the quote card kind, not thejust shift your mindset kind,
the kind that breaks open yourbiology and rebuild your
relationship with what it meansto be human.
Let's go there.
We often glamorize the idea ofdoing the inner work like it's

(01:03):
this empowering, linear thing,and sometimes, yes, there are
moments of clarity and power andat the same time, the work is
rugged.
It's sitting with feelingsyou've never allowed yourself to
feel.
It's looking at parts ofyourself that developed not out
of freedom, yet out of necessity.

(01:23):
So many of us don't even knowwhat authentic emotions feel
like, because we've beenperforming since we were
children Performing for safety,performing for connection,
performing to belong.
And yes, mindset, work matters.
Yes, discipline, grit,reframing, these all have value.

(01:45):
And even with all of that, yourbody still keeps score.
Your nervous system rememberswhat your mind tries to override
.
Eventually it leaks out throughburnout, through relationships
that repeat the same wounds,through not being able to cry
when you want to or not beingable to stop crying when you

(02:08):
don't want to.
And sometimes it leaks out ofsilence.
How many times have you heardsomeone say what's the point in
talking about it?
It won't solve anything.
That's not indifference.
That's resignation, not givingup because you don't care.
Yet because deep down, you docare and you've learned it's not

(02:29):
safe to show it.
That's a body that's been metwith too many dismissive ears,
not allowed to feel.
That's a nervous system thatlearned if you speak, your pain,
it either gets ignored,minimized or used against you.
So silence becomes a shield,shutting down becomes protection

(02:52):
and the ache stays unspoken,because expression started to
feel like exposure.
Let's pause right here.
Let's take a mindful moment.
Let's pause right here.

(03:19):
Let's take a mindful moment Ifit feels safe to do so.
Place one hand on your heart,let your shoulders drop, breathe
in through your nose slowly,hold for a moment and release
through your mouth.
Let that breath be an exhalefor every time you held back
what you needed to say.
Let that breath be permissionto exist without performance.
You're not doing it wrong,you're just finally feeling

(03:40):
what's been stored.
Take a deep breath in, hold itNow.
Let that ish out in your exhale.
Take another deep breath inhold and let that ish out.

(04:02):
Take a deep breath in and letthat ish out.
Take a deep breath in, hold itand let it out through your
mouth.
Let that ish out Now.
Shake your hands a bit, moveyour body, wiggle around and
let's get present again.

(04:23):
You see, when life hits hard andit will like it did in our
community this week with aviolent tragedy that's left so
many shaken pain when ignoredbecomes something else entirely.
We want easy narratives heshould have done this, she
didn't do that, this is right,that's wrong.
And those narratives help usfeel in control.

(04:43):
Yet control isn't healing.
Curiosity is Compassion, is,context, is Listening, is
Because when we don'tacknowledge someone's history,
because when we don'tacknowledge someone's history,
their biology, trauma,environment, nervous system, we
risk reducing their entire lifeto a single action or outcome,

(05:07):
and that's not justice, that'sdehumanization.
Social media is filled withhealing soundbites Protect your
peace, just say no, cut them off.
And I get it.
Those boundaries are real andwe don't always see it.
In the middle part, the partwhere your body trembles after
setting that boundary, the partwhere you question if you're

(05:29):
being too much, the part whereyour inner child is terrified
because safety used to meanself-abandonment.
No one posts that part, themessy middle, the sacred
unraveling, the work it takes totrust yourself again and again,
and again.
And the truth Sometimes youjust don't have the energy to

(05:53):
keep going into these cycles,especially in family, where the
patterns are so deep it feelslike your body knows them before
your mind does.
Yet every time you pause,breathe, reflect, you're
building new capacity, you'rere-meeting yourself.
And if you're someone who justrealized I've been doing this on

(06:16):
my own since I was a kid that'sa heavy truth to sit with.
You didn't just choose thatrole.
It chose you because somethingin your environment said no
one's coming.
You have to figure it outyourself.
And now you're here holding allthat weight.
So I just want to say you arenot broken for struggling.

(06:40):
You are not weak for needingrest, you are not too much for
feeling deeply.
And healing is not alwayspretty and it is rarely linear,
and it doesn't always look theway other people think it should
, but it's real and you're doingit.
So keep sharpening your tools,keep returning to your breath,

(07:04):
keep showing up not perfectly,just honestly Because you, my
love, you're allowed to be ahole with a W, even when you're
still trying to figure it out.
If this resonated, leave acomment, share it, send it to
someone who's in the messymiddle too.
You weren't meant to do thisalone, even if we learn to

(07:26):
survive that way.
Until next time, be kind toyour nervous system and, as
always, welcome home to yourself.