June 15, 2025 • 29 mins
We explore the unique dynamics of running a business with your spouse, discussing both the advantages and challenges this partnership brings. Personal anecdotes blend with practical strategies to help couples thrive.
• Understanding the benefits of working with a spouse
• Highlighting common challenges and solutions
• Importance of communication in balancing personal and work life
• Establishing clear roles and responsibilities
• Encouraging individual growth alongside partnership
• Final thoughts and encouragement for couples
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Light Up your Business podcast, the
show where we dive deep into theworld of small businesses.
I'm your host, tammyHershberger, and each episode
will bring you inspiring stories, expert insights and practical
tips to help your small businessthrive.
Whether you're an entrepreneurjust starting out or a seasoned
business owner, this podcast isyour go-to source for success in
(00:21):
the small business world.
Let's get started to source forsuccess in the small business
world.
Let's get started.
Hello everyone, I want towelcome you back to another
episode of Light Up yourBusiness podcast.
It's a beautiful day here.
I have no idea where you are orwhere you're driving or what
you're thinking, but I hope yourday is lovely.
Mine's been great.
I want to talk to you todayabout navigating the highs and
(00:43):
lows of running a business withyour spouse and it's kind of the
strategies for having a healthrelationship with your spouse
and your business partner.
Not everybody does that.
Not everybody can do it.
I've talked to different peopleand some people say they would
never work with their spouse.
There's people like me whoactually we thrive, I think,
working together.
I think our personalities meldwell together and so maybe
(01:04):
you're looking at starting yourbusiness and you're debating if
you should bring your wife in,or if you want to work with your
spouse or your husband orwhatever.
Maybe you are ready togetherand it's not working great, or
maybe you're, I don't knowwherever you excuse me, wherever
you are.
Maybe we just kind of want tolook at and see what the options
are, or if you're thinkingabout bringing someone in to
help you or whatever.
So today we're going to delveinto the unique dynamics of
(01:27):
maintaining that thrivingmarriage, while also navigating
the complexities of running abusiness together.
I want to discuss strategies tohelp couples navigate marriage
and business by sharingpractical advice, my own real
life stories and some actionableinsights, because I want to
bring you valuable guidance forcouples navigating the
complexities of running abusiness together.
(01:48):
Now, I've run a business with myhusband.
I've run a business withanother business partner, and
that business partner in thiscase was my friend.
I also own my own businesswhere I have no business partner
, and I think the mostinteresting one is probably the
marriage one.
Now, I think it's in some ways,the easiest one, but it's also
got its own complexities,because you go home and your
(02:09):
business partner is also yourhusband, right, and so there's
all these nuances, that kind ofgo into it, and so I'm going to
work through this with you.
Hopefully you're going to findit kind of interesting and maybe
you'll learn something from it.
So let's first start with thepositive, which is the benefits
of running a business with aspouse.
So what are the advantages?
I'm sure you're thinking toyourself what are those
advantages?
(02:29):
Well, increased trust andcommunication is one of them.
So, if you think about it fromthis way, I would hope if you
have a good marriage, you trustyour spouse right.
And I'm going to just kind ofput this on my experience,
because I am married.
I've been with John since I was17 years old.
I'm 42.
Actually, I think I'm going tobe 42.
(02:51):
How old am I?
No, I am.
I'm going to be 42.
I'm 41.
Oh geez, I'm claiming myself asolder than I am.
Anyway.
So we've been together I think20, going on 24 here, something
like that, it's a long time.
I think 20, going on 24 here,something like that, it's a long
time.
And we've been in businesstogether.
I think we opened our firstbusiness deal in 2009.
So we've kind of done differentthings and for us, because I
(03:14):
know my husband, I trust myhusband.
There's something differentabout it and I'm going to try to
explain this to you as best Ican, but comparing it to my
other business partner I had inthe past.
They, they have their ownspouse right, they have their
own life, they have their ownbusiness plans, their own
business ideas, their own ideasfor their family.
And then there's me and John.
We have our own ideas right,and so I think trust is easy
(03:36):
because it's my husband, we'remarried, we took this vow in
front of God and we just knowthat, like, we have each other's
back with another person, it'skind of like they may have my
back.
They may not, right, they mayhave the same vision, they may
not most likely probably not.
And then you have thiscommunication of like it's easy
for me and John to communicate.
We talk all the time.
I see him every day, I see himevery night, whereas on the
(03:59):
other side, a business partneryou know, maybe they're not
local, maybe they're more of abusiness partner that's just
kind of is more money focused,or maybe it's someone you talk
to once a week or once a monthor whatever.
And I think with thecommunication side, it's like
it's so much easier tocommunicate with my husband.
Now there's a challenge to thatand we'll get to that.
But just kind of think of itthat way Like this person is on
(04:22):
your team, you're married tothem, right, which then kind of
moves us into like our alignmentof the values and the goals.
So I would again hope that ifyou married this person, your
values and your goals aresomewhat similar.
Values are super important.
I don't think if your valuesdon't line up, you should not be
getting married, because youare never going to agree on
something, you're never going toagree on how to raise those
(04:43):
kids, you're never going toagree on where to live, you're
never going to agree on theright and wrongs in life, right.
And so I've seen that where andin my business partner, my
values were very different thanhis and I'm not saying he's
wrong or I'm right, but they'redifferent.
And so we would struggle allthe time because we didn't line
up on our values.
(05:09):
Me and my husband are verycommitted on our values.
We both are, you know,believers.
We believe in doing things withhonesty and integrity, taking
care of the customer right,owning up to our mistakes when
we mess up, and so thatalignment is going to work so
much better in your businessbecause you're not going to have
this struggle of like, well, Iwant this and my business
partner wants this right.
Or I mean employees.
There's a little struggle butthey just kind of know it's the
way it is To work here.
You have to do this Well.
Business partner is verydifferent.
They kind of get a say too inwhat's going to happen.
(05:33):
And then goals I mean me and myhusband.
I kind of noticed this a lot inmy other business that I had
with my business partner.
Our goals started the same, butsomewhere, man, they just got
way off and it wasn'tcommunicated apparently to me at
least, that the goals werechanging.
And so I'm full steam aheadwith the goals we had set and
then, like stuff starts to likego awry and I'm like what's
(05:54):
happening here?
And it's not being communicatedto me that all of a sudden the
other person's goals were notlining up with mine, and so then
you take that with values andit was like a total mess.
And so with my husband our goalhas always kind of been the
same.
Now they change a little as wegrow older, but me and my
husband want to someday havebusinesses that we either sell
or we have people running themso we can have more free time.
(06:17):
And our goal has always been,you know, run an honest business
, run a business that makes anice profit, run a business that
takes care of its workers andthe customers.
And then our goal for ourfamily is we want to somebody
travel and we want to not haveto work all the time, and that's
a shared goal, whereas if youhave another business partner
that's not your spouse theirgoals may be, you know.
(06:38):
In my own case, again, my otherbusiness partner had little
children and so at one time,because I was a workaholic, my
goal was to just work and doubleand grow.
And he would say let's doubleand grow, but he didn't want to
put the time in because,whatever reason, one of them
being because he has littlechildren Well, if his goal is to
only work part time or whateverand have a lot of time with his
(06:59):
kids and my goal is to doublehis business, well those kind of
compete against each other andif you can't figure out a system
of how's that gonna work, how'sthat gonna look, who's gonna do
what, it can cause a ton ofconflict right Anytime, even in
your marriage, if your valuesand your goals and the trust and
the communication's messed up,oh, there's gonna be so much
(07:21):
conflict, you're gonna hate yourlife for a little while.
And so that is one thing I cansay the differences I have
noticed with being in businesswith my spouse.
It's one of my favorite thingsbecause I just it's like a
safety, like I just know he'sgoing to be there.
I can trust him to do the job,I can trust him to take care of
my customers.
You know, the communication isa little interesting sometimes
because I'm an over communicator.
John's not so much, but I knowwhat he does communicate.
(07:45):
It's going to be the truth,it's going to be the best for us
and I know his values and goalswere heading the same direction
.
There's also a greaterflexibility and work-life
balance if you're on the sameteam.
And then let me kind of explainit this way so if I worked for
Walmart, for example, and Johnworked for we'll just say Target
, we both probably havedifferent schedules.
We have different bosses, right, we probably have to some maybe
(08:08):
work days, some work nights, Idon't know weekends, not
weekends, whatever.
So our schedules are kind ofconflicting sometimes because I
have to do what my boss tells meor what the job's telling me.
In this case, because we worktogether.
The beauty is we have ourcompany set up and our team set
up and the people.
So if John and I want to take avacation, we're not having to go
to separate companies and say,okay, I'd like to get time off,
(08:31):
and then hope that no one elseis taking that time off and then
try to get those to match up.
Or if I want to take a Fridayoff or I have a dentist
appointment, he has a dentistappointment or whatever, like
it's.
It's so much simpler in my ownbusiness because you can believe
, if I'm going on vacation, he'sgoing with me, right, and so we
can go together and we justmake that decision.
Also, if I leave, I know I havehim here right Now.
(08:53):
He doesn't do my job per se,but I know that like it's in
good hands if I leave right.
Or I feel like if there's afunction and I want him to go
too, we're kind of on the sameteam at that function right,
because we're both talking aboutour business, we're both
learning about the business orwhatever, and then we have this
shared passion and thecommitment to the business.
(09:14):
Now I've seen that in situations, for example, with my other
business partner.
His person, his significantother, was not interested in the
business I think, became veryjealous of it.
It does happen they call ityour business, becomes your
mistress, because you spend somuch time, especially in the
beginning, building it that yourspouse gets kind of left out
and they don't always want tohear about the business.
(09:35):
They get sick of hearing aboutit.
Well, the good news is, johnand I, we have that shared
passion, we have that commitmentto the business and so we both
are on the same page.
We kind of already know what'shappening.
We're not jealous of it, we'rekind of both excited about
promoting it and growing it andit makes it so we're like on the
same page.
Now that we've talked about allthese great things, let's talk
(09:56):
about the challenges on theother side.
So these are going to beinteresting because they can be
deal killers for some people.
For me, we figure it out, butokay.
So some common challenges,balancing the personal and
professional boundaries.
This one can be, can be toughsometimes because from my own
(10:17):
experience you know, john and Iwork together every day.
So sometimes he makes me mad'sa fact, I make him mad sometimes
and in those moments of likeyou're really pissing me off.
Right now, the reality has tocome in that like, okay, wait a
minute.
Am I mad at you as my husbandin that perspective, or am I
(10:37):
kind of upset with you becauseyou're my co, my co-worker, my
boss?
What is it?
And in this case we're businesspartners.
So I'm like I have to kind ofremember that I can't just be
the wife here.
I have to be business partner.
And you have to kind of flipyour mind.
Instead of like don't take itpersonally as the wife.
Maybe look at it more from alens of if this was my business
partner, would I be okay withwhat they're saying or would I
(10:58):
take it so personal?
Right, obviously you don't wantto be mushy all the time around
your employees.
You got to keep that boundarybecause you don't want to just
be gross little married couple,but I think you also don't want
to treat each other poorlyeither.
So you have to keep thisbusiness professional of like At
work we're business partners,at home we're husband and wife.
That challenge also getsinteresting because sometimes
(11:20):
you carry your work home withyou, which is the next one
managing disagreements andconflicts.
So maybe John and I just had arough day at work and things
went awry.
We didn't agree as businesspartners or whatever, and we're
kind of annoyed with each other.
Well, guess what happens?
This man and myself we go homeand now I have to face this guy
who's annoyed me all day ormaybe I'm still mad about
something or whatever and I haveto now face him and try not to
(11:43):
drag work home.
And I think that becomes veryhard because with your spouse
not in the business, she doesn'tknow about it.
Maybe you're not even gonnatell her about it, maybe you
don't want to harp on it, ormaybe she can give you a
different perspective.
But in my case, I go home andI'm like oh yeah, john, john
annoyed me, he hurt my feelingsthere, he didn't do something
the way I wanted, or blah, blah,blah, and so you have to kind
(12:05):
of work on not dragging thatstuff home.
And then you have to be carefulabout not bringing work home
all the time, because that'ssomething I did.
I always worked and you have tokind of leave work at work, and
so I've been much better aboutthat.
Like, when I get home, I don'treally want to talk about work.
I want to just talk about like,let's do something fun, let's
hang out, let's cuddle, whateverlet's make it us time.
And I've kind of struggled withon vacations in the past, but
(12:27):
the last two I'm very proud ofmyself, I've kind of stuck in.
I didn't bring my computer toon vacation, I didn't want to
talk about work.
I kind of was able to separate,which is really important.
And then you have this powerdynamic and this decision-making
dynamic.
That can be interesting.
So again, you can't pull rank.
So if I'm at home and not everywoman's going to love this, but
(12:48):
I'm going to be honest womencan I mean everybody can be
manipulative, but women havethis power over their husbands,
right.
And so if you use it wrong, itcan be bad.
And I think you have to makesure you're not like well, I'm
the wife, so I'm going to justdo what I want.
Well, if my business partnerdoesn't like what I'm doing in
the business or has an idea andI'm just shooting it down,
that's pretty unfair because I'mhis wife.
(13:09):
I have to stop that and I haveto look at the perspective of
like my business partner maybewants to grow the business or
change or do something.
I have to look at him in adifferent light, right, we have
to also make sure that we'rebeing respectful of each other
and the fact that it's nothusband-wife right now, it's,
you know, John and myself asbusiness partners and we have
different perspectives and wehave to be careful so we don't
(13:29):
just override all that.
And then you have to have thesedifferent identities right,
maintaining the individualidentity outside of the business
.
So that's not bringing it home.
That's, you know, not john.
You know maybe, john, I do a lotfor john, the business as far
as meeting, paperwork, and Ihelp him where I can.
I don't want to see that justdragged at home where I have to
(13:49):
do everything there because I'mlike are you ready?
I do that at work, I don't wantto do that here, right, or I
don't know, maybe in yourbusiness, maybe you're, you're
more the decision maker and theother spouse is not.
You don't want to drag thathome with you because that can
cause some serious problems.
So if we look at that now, wesay, okay, well, how do we make
this successful, this businesspartnership with my spouse?
How is this going to besuccessful?
(14:11):
Well, here's some tips andstrategies for you to use to run
your business together withinthe marriage and still keep it
happy and still enjoy runningyour business.
So you want to establish clearroles and responsibilities.
You want to clearly define yourrole in your marriage and in
your business so you can avoidconfusion, like establish
(14:32):
specific times for businessdiscussions versus personal time
.
Right, john and I try not tobring too much personal time
into work.
Now we might go to lunchtogether, have a coffee date or
something like that, butbusiness time is business time.
Home time is home time.
Now, once in a while you'll getthat blur, but you've got to be
careful about doing thatbecause I would kind of I was
pretty bad about that one time.
(14:54):
Then you want to identify yourstrengths right, divide those
roles up, determine who's goingto do what, what the
responsibilities are in thebusiness, and if your partner is
really good at sales and otheroperations, then assign those
tasks accordingly.
So, for example, john knows Iam I'm just really good in the
office, I'm good with organizing, I'm a good leader, that kind
of stuff, and so he lets mepretty much run the office.
(15:14):
John is the delivery guy.
He loves being out on the road,he loves driving, so we put him
in that role.
He also kind of has a hybridrole, which he doesn't have to
do a lot because our guys arepretty damn amazing, but he goes
and he'll, you know, check onthe guys.
He'll help me order materials.
Sometimes he'll talk to theguys about certain jobs and how
they need to be done or pricingstuff, so he'll get pulled in a
little bit for that.
But we've really defined ourrole.
(15:36):
So then it's important that,like John doesn't come in now
and try to do my job, becausethat's going to drive me crazy,
and if I go out there and try tomicromanage him and his guys,
that's going to drive him crazy.
And so I think we're reallyclear on our roles and what we
do.
Then it's really important tocommunicate openly and honestly.
You need to frame thosediscussions in a way that is
like a collaborative way, right?
(15:58):
So like everybody kind of getsa say Use the words we instead
of I or you, to promote teamworkand share responsibility.
So don't just make it I runthis business, I do that.
I'm sick of this.
Be like we are going to sharethis.
We're going to push thisbusiness right.
Turn it into a team.
You want to encourage honestfeedback by reassuring each
other that all opinions arevalued and the constructive
(16:20):
criticism is aimed atimprovement, not personal
attacks.
You don't want to just come tohim and like BS him.
You don't want to come to himand attack him.
You just need to come to himand say okay, in the moments
that this happens this is how itmakes me feel, not when you do
this blah, blah, blah, blah.
Well, that's going to kind ofset him on defense and he's
going to probably stop listening.
So you want to make sure youframe that in a way that like so
(16:41):
he sees that it's bothering you, but not an attack on him.
And then you really want tofocus on seeing each other's
viewpoints right, like you'vegot to take yourself out of your
shoes and put yourself in them,reflect back to them what
you're hearing them say, andthen ask clarifying questions.
So like if John and I have adiscussion, he says you know X,
(17:04):
y, z, whatever.
I'm going to rephrase that backand say okay, if I understand
you correctly, you're telling meblank, right?
So in this case I'll makesomething up.
Like, if I understood youcorrectly, you're telling me
that when I say you never dothis, it hurts my feelings.
I mean, that's something thatcomes up, the word never.
I don't like it.
I'm like if you say to me younever do this, it means I've
never once done it, and that'sbullcrap.
That doesn't work for me.
(17:25):
So that's like in our ownmarriage.
That's something we have towatch because that bothers me.
So just kind of always try toput yourself in their shoes,
have some mercy and grace onthem, because also, you know,
maybe they were annoying today,but you don't know, maybe John
gets screamed at by a guy on theroad, or maybe his delivery
went awry, or, like me, todayI've had a crazy hectic day and
maybe I'm a little stressed.
Well, you know, maybe I can putmyself in their shoes and say,
well, I had a great day, butmaybe they didn't and maybe
(17:46):
something bad happened orwhatever, and so that'll help
you, I think.
Be more merciful to them andkind.
You want to set thoseboundaries, carve out that time
for personal pursuits.
You want to set thoseboundaries, carve out that time
for personal pursuits?
Okay, so this one was like twoyears ago.
I didn't know what the hellthis was, but I have figured
that out.
I'm definitely in a verydifferent place.
So you want to make thoseconscious efforts to leave
(18:08):
business discussions at theoffice or during scheduled
meetings right, create ritualsto switch gears when
transitioning from work to home.
And those rituals can be, youknow, just on the way home, turn
the music on, turn your phoneoff, whatever.
Try to transition your mindfrom I'm work, now I'm, you know
, boss, to like get home and nowI'm husband and daddy right.
Or I'm wife and mommy.
You got to kind of have somekind of way to transition
(18:31):
yourself from that Kind of like.
When you come home, you knowyour mind's going 100 miles in a
minute and you're just tryingto like survive the day.
And then you get home and nowyou've got to turn into wife or
mom, right.
Or, if you're a boy, dad, right.
So work on figuring that out.
You want to make sure youdiscuss and establish those
shared goals for both yourmarriage and your business and
(18:51):
you want to align on commonobjectives to foster unity and
cooperation.
Because the problem is, ifyou're like I'm going to double,
double, double and we're goingto be on the road 700 days a
year, I mean that's notrealistic, that's double a year,
but you know what I'm saying.
If I'm going to be on the road365 days a year.
That's the goal for thebusiness, because I want to
triple it.
But then you have this marriagegoal of spending more time
(19:16):
together.
Well, that doesn if you havethis goal.
You want to spend time withyour kids on Saturdays to go to
their games?
Well, if your goal is also totrip your business and you're
gonna have to work every weekend, that's not going to work and
that's going to make your spousemad and your kids mad.
So think about that stuff.
You also want to support eachother's individual growth.
Right as partners.
(19:38):
Engage in activities thatpromote personal well-being,
which in turn benefits yourpartnership both personally and
professionally.
So if you're a fan of soccer,go to soccer games or play
soccer or go exercise or go runor whatever it is you like to do
.
Have coffee on Saturdaymornings, read the paper.
If you are miserable as aperson, you're going to be
miserable as a business partner,you're going to be miserable as
a spouse and you're going to bemiserable as a parent.
(20:00):
So, like, figure that stuff out, because when you're happy,
it's going to come through toyour children, your business,
everybody, your friendshipseverywhere, and then that's part
of fostering those individualhobbies and interests outside of
the business.
Work is not all good, I told oneof my coaching clients.
I said, you know, make sure hewas on a business trip.
But I said, try to have somefun while you're there, because
(20:23):
all work and no play makes you adull boy.
And I'm like.
It's true.
When I used to work all thetime I was so miserable, I hated
my life and I'm sure everybodynoticed it because I just wasn't
happy, I wasn't smiling, Iwasn't having fun.
And I've changed all that, I'mnot doing that anymore.
And then you want to createspace for quality time together
outside of the business.
That's so important for yourmarriage.
Regularly assess how you bothare feeling about the business
(20:45):
and your relationship.
Make sure you allow it to befree-flowing, right, open
dialogue, talk about theconcerns, develop rituals that
promote connection.
You know, have weekly datenights or morning check-ins.
Engage in hobbies or activitiestogether outside of the
workplace.
That way you can, you know,have this positive atmosphere.
(21:05):
Schedule those short trips orthose weekend getaways to
refresh your relationships awayfrom the pressure of business.
I actually find that theseshorter three, four-day trips to
me are so much more fun than aweek and a half or two-week trip
because I'm gone too long, Ikind of start to miss home and
then I'm so far behind at workit stresses me out when, if I'm
just gone for three or four days, it's so much easier.
(21:26):
I relax more.
I find it's less less stressbecause it's less expensive.
So you know, I'd rather havemore of those than these big
long trips.
That's just me.
Maybe you're different.
Cultivate resilience and support.
Acknowledge the stressors thatcome with entrepreneurship and
other you know stresses thatcome into that, and then offer
each other support during thetough times.
We don't have to pretend likeit's all okay all the time.
(21:49):
Allow each other space forpersonal time, self-care, you
know.
Let them have time to go to thegym, let them have time to read
the paper in quiet or do quiettime or whatever they like to do
.
Don't constantly be on eachother's backs because we all
have to recharge, we all need totake care of ourselves.
And then remember thatentrepreneurship comes with
unpredictability.
Patience during tough times isessential.
(22:09):
Try not to lose your patienceso fast.
Don't do those regularrevisiting of your core values
as a couple right, having ashared foundation that helps you
navigate challenges with aunified approach and then really
acknowledge that you both havesuccessfully navigated the
changes in the past and thenreinforce that like we've had
tough times.
We stuck it out, we got throughit together and it'll happen
(22:30):
again and we can do it together.
If you have to seek outsidesupport, that's great, I mean.
If not, I still recommend it.
Get a mentor, get some kind ofcounselor, get a therapist,
whatever.
Work with a business coach or amarriage counselor to navigate
the complexities of being bothspouse and business partners.
It can be hard.
Celebrate successes andmilestones together, acknowledge
(22:52):
and celebrate both personal andbusiness achievements together.
It'll reinforce your teamworkas people together and it
strengthens that bond.
Surround yourself withsupportive friends and family
who can provide encouragementand perspective yourself with
supportive friends and familywho can provide encouragement
and perspective.
So I think it's reallyimportant.
I've watched John and I over theyears grow and learn to
(23:13):
communicate and learn to shareand learn to.
You know, let the stuff out,and I think you just have to
work on being a team.
I mean, I think some of thebiggest lessons I've learned
would be to chill out out, relax, take time for myself,
communicate with my husband,communicate with my business
partner.
You know I'm a goodcommunicator but I have a hard
(23:33):
time.
I almost become like a pit bullwith a with a bone or a dog
with a bone, like I just won'tlet it go and sometimes I forget
that, like we all have our ownstuff, we're all at different
paces, we're all different and,man, there's so much I've
learned in this life that I seeto do differently now.
And it's okay to make thosemistakes, it's okay to learn
that stuff and now I can just bebetter, going forward.
(23:56):
I'm not going to beat myself upover it over the past, because
it's done, I can't change it,but I'm going to keep going
forward and be better.
I'm going to be a better spouse, better business partner,
better business coach, betterfriend, because I've learned
these things.
So some advice I want to giveyou.
I mean I've already given you aton here.
I don't know what you want fromme.
No, I'm just kidding.
But truly, if you're thinkingabout venturing into an
(24:18):
entrepreneurship together,starting a business, whatever,
make sure you have those sharedvision and goals.
Kind of have thoseconversations, get that plan
together.
Setting those shared goalsensures that both are on the
same path and you're going tohave the same outcome.
Define the clear roles andresponsibilities, discuss the
expectations, set clearboundaries from the beginning,
(24:40):
define each other's partner'srole so you don't overlap and
there's no confusion, and it'llgive you both, as a couple, more
strength and your business willbe way more organized.
You know, and sometimes whenit's just you and your spouse, I
remember my other businesspartner, when I we started,
there was like our names were oneverything.
I was like I'm marketing, I'madvertising, I'm, I'm office,
(25:01):
I'm bookkeeper, I'm HR, I'm allthese things, and he had to do
all these things and I was likeI don't know how we're gonna do
all this, but over time you'llfill those roles with other
people, but we did it together.
You know our business surviveduntil we didn't do stuff
together anymore.
Somewhere we just got way off.
You know, the walls were built,resentment were built and it
just completely destroyed thebusiness in this perspective of
(25:22):
like our partnership.
And so I don't want that tohappen to you, because in a
marriage it's even worse,because you're losing your
family, you're losing those vowsyou made in front of God, and
it's so important to figure thatstuff out.
You want to really embraceflexibility.
Be prepared for the uniquedynamics of working with your
spouse.
If you've never done it, it isinteresting, but it's also fun.
It'll help you kind of navigatethe up and down of
(25:44):
entrepreneurship.
Flexibility is something that Ihave been well I struggled with
this year.
Just a few months ago, mytherapist told me she's like
let's work on you being moreflexible.
Practice being more flexibleMeaning, like you know, don't be
so harsh and strict, and I livein a box sometimes and I forget
that, like I have to come outof that box.
It's more fun getting out ofthe box right.
(26:06):
It doesn't have to be perfectlyin this little box all the time
.
My old business partner taughtme that, like, get out of the
box right, just be different,think different, try different
things.
You want to have that opencommunication.
Make sure you're having opencommunication, mutual respect
for each other.
Make sure you have thisenvironment where both partners
can express your ideas withoutbeing told they're stupid.
(26:26):
Express your concerns withoutthem being thrown away or told
that, oh, just get over it.
Well, that's not how it works.
And then have this honestfeedback right.
Have regular check-ins that canhelp address any issues before
they escalate.
John and I are really goodabout that because we live
together.
My other business partner.
We did so good with that untilit just like the meetings
dropped off.
He wouldn't show up Businessthings happened and we couldn't
(26:48):
make meetings whatever, and themore those fell away, the worse
the communication got, and thenthat's when the whole thing
crumbled.
It just wasn't good anymore.
And that's true in life and inmarriage and friendships.
And so I want you to rememberto embrace the opportunity to
work together as a couple,leverage your unique strengths
and perspectives to help build asuccessful business and a life.
(27:10):
Thank you, guys for listening,thank you for tuning in.
We always love to hear yourexperiences and insights about
working together as a marriedcouple.
If you guys are married outthere and you're working with
your spouse, visit me atwwwlightupyourbusinesspodcastcom
.
Share your thoughts, your ideas.
If you want to come on as acouple and talk to me, I would
love to have that.
I guarantee you.
Other business owners can learnfrom you, just like you learn
(27:31):
from me.
If you're interested in being aguest on the show, apply
through the website.
Today In this podcast, weexplored the benefits and
challenges of running a smallbusiness with your spouse, along
with strategies to helpnavigate the journey together.
Along with strategies to helpnavigate the journey together.
I hope you feel empowered tomake informed decisions that
will accelerate your growth andhelp you achieve your business
goals as a team.
Thank you guys so much forlistening.
(27:52):
Like, share, subscribe, youknow, tell your friends about me
, and I'm just excited to seewhat you guys are doing.
You're doing great things, so Ithank you and I will see you
guys next time.
And remember, in the world ofbusiness, every success story
begins with a passionate dreamand ends with a strategic
billion dollar handshake.
Stay ambitious, stay innovativeand keep making those deals
(28:15):
that reshape tomorrow.
Thank you all for tuning in anduntil next time.
Remember proverbs 3 3 says letlove and faithfulness never
leave you.
Bind them around your neck,write them on the tablet of your
heart.
That way you will win favor anda good name in the sight of God
and man.
And remember if you like whatyou heard today, click the
follow button so you never missan episode.
Welcome to the Light Up your Business podcast, the
show where we dive deep into theworld of small businesses.
I'm your host, tammyHershberger, and each episode
will bring you inspiring stories, expert insights and practical
tips to help your small businessthrive.
Whether you're an entrepreneurjust starting out or a seasoned
business owner, this podcast isyour go-to source for success in
(00:21):
the small business world.
Let's get started to source forsuccess in the small business
world.
Let's get started.
Hello everyone, I want towelcome you back to another
episode of Light Up yourBusiness podcast.
It's a beautiful day here.
I have no idea where you are orwhere you're driving or what
you're thinking, but I hope yourday is lovely.
Mine's been great.
I want to talk to you todayabout navigating the highs and
(00:43):
lows of running a business withyour spouse and it's kind of the
strategies for having a healthrelationship with your spouse
and your business partner.
Not everybody does that.
Not everybody can do it.
I've talked to different peopleand some people say they would
never work with their spouse.
There's people like me whoactually we thrive, I think,
working together.
I think our personalities meldwell together and so maybe
(01:04):
you're looking at starting yourbusiness and you're debating if
you should bring your wife in,or if you want to work with your
spouse or your husband orwhatever.
Maybe you are ready togetherand it's not working great, or
maybe you're, I don't knowwherever you excuse me, wherever
you are.
Maybe we just kind of want tolook at and see what the options
are, or if you're thinkingabout bringing someone in to
help you or whatever.
So today we're going to delveinto the unique dynamics of
(01:27):
maintaining that thrivingmarriage, while also navigating
the complexities of running abusiness together.
I want to discuss strategies tohelp couples navigate marriage
and business by sharingpractical advice, my own real
life stories and some actionableinsights, because I want to
bring you valuable guidance forcouples navigating the
complexities of running abusiness together.
(01:48):
Now, I've run a business with myhusband.
I've run a business withanother business partner, and
that business partner in thiscase was my friend.
I also own my own businesswhere I have no business partner
, and I think the mostinteresting one is probably the
marriage one.
Now, I think it's in some ways,the easiest one, but it's also
got its own complexities,because you go home and your
(02:09):
business partner is also yourhusband, right, and so there's
all these nuances, that kind ofgo into it, and so I'm going to
work through this with you.
Hopefully you're going to findit kind of interesting and maybe
you'll learn something from it.
So let's first start with thepositive, which is the benefits
of running a business with aspouse.
So what are the advantages?
I'm sure you're thinking toyourself what are those
advantages?
(02:29):
Well, increased trust andcommunication is one of them.
So, if you think about it fromthis way, I would hope if you
have a good marriage, you trustyour spouse right.
And I'm going to just kind ofput this on my experience,
because I am married.
I've been with John since I was17 years old.
I'm 42.
Actually, I think I'm going tobe 42.
(02:51):
How old am I?
No, I am.
I'm going to be 42.
I'm 41.
Oh geez, I'm claiming myself asolder than I am.
Anyway.
So we've been together I think20, going on 24 here, something
like that, it's a long time.
I think 20, going on 24 here,something like that, it's a long
time.
And we've been in businesstogether.
I think we opened our firstbusiness deal in 2009.
So we've kind of done differentthings and for us, because I
(03:14):
know my husband, I trust myhusband.
There's something differentabout it and I'm going to try to
explain this to you as best Ican, but comparing it to my
other business partner I had inthe past.
They, they have their ownspouse right, they have their
own life, they have their ownbusiness plans, their own
business ideas, their own ideasfor their family.
And then there's me and John.
We have our own ideas right,and so I think trust is easy
(03:36):
because it's my husband, we'remarried, we took this vow in
front of God and we just knowthat, like, we have each other's
back with another person, it'skind of like they may have my
back.
They may not, right, they mayhave the same vision, they may
not most likely probably not.
And then you have thiscommunication of like it's easy
for me and John to communicate.
We talk all the time.
I see him every day, I see himevery night, whereas on the
(03:59):
other side, a business partneryou know, maybe they're not
local, maybe they're more of abusiness partner that's just
kind of is more money focused,or maybe it's someone you talk
to once a week or once a monthor whatever.
And I think with thecommunication side, it's like
it's so much easier tocommunicate with my husband.
Now there's a challenge to thatand we'll get to that.
But just kind of think of itthat way Like this person is on
(04:22):
your team, you're married tothem, right, which then kind of
moves us into like our alignmentof the values and the goals.
So I would again hope that ifyou married this person, your
values and your goals aresomewhat similar.
Values are super important.
I don't think if your valuesdon't line up, you should not be
getting married, because youare never going to agree on
something, you're never going toagree on how to raise those
(04:43):
kids, you're never going toagree on where to live, you're
never going to agree on theright and wrongs in life, right.
And so I've seen that where andin my business partner, my
values were very different thanhis and I'm not saying he's
wrong or I'm right, but they'redifferent.
And so we would struggle allthe time because we didn't line
up on our values.
(05:09):
Me and my husband are verycommitted on our values.
We both are, you know,believers.
We believe in doing things withhonesty and integrity, taking
care of the customer right,owning up to our mistakes when
we mess up, and so thatalignment is going to work so
much better in your businessbecause you're not going to have
this struggle of like, well, Iwant this and my business
partner wants this right.
Or I mean employees.
There's a little struggle butthey just kind of know it's the
way it is To work here.
You have to do this Well.
Business partner is verydifferent.
They kind of get a say too inwhat's going to happen.
(05:33):
And then goals I mean me and myhusband.
I kind of noticed this a lot inmy other business that I had
with my business partner.
Our goals started the same, butsomewhere, man, they just got
way off and it wasn'tcommunicated apparently to me at
least, that the goals werechanging.
And so I'm full steam aheadwith the goals we had set and
then, like stuff starts to likego awry and I'm like what's
(05:54):
happening here?
And it's not being communicatedto me that all of a sudden the
other person's goals were notlining up with mine, and so then
you take that with values andit was like a total mess.
And so with my husband our goalhas always kind of been the
same.
Now they change a little as wegrow older, but me and my
husband want to someday havebusinesses that we either sell
or we have people running themso we can have more free time.
(06:17):
And our goal has always been,you know, run an honest business
, run a business that makes anice profit, run a business that
takes care of its workers andthe customers.
And then our goal for ourfamily is we want to somebody
travel and we want to not haveto work all the time, and that's
a shared goal, whereas if youhave another business partner
that's not your spouse theirgoals may be, you know.
(06:38):
In my own case, again, my otherbusiness partner had little
children and so at one time,because I was a workaholic, my
goal was to just work and doubleand grow.
And he would say let's doubleand grow, but he didn't want to
put the time in because,whatever reason, one of them
being because he has littlechildren Well, if his goal is to
only work part time or whateverand have a lot of time with his
(06:59):
kids and my goal is to doublehis business, well those kind of
compete against each other andif you can't figure out a system
of how's that gonna work, how'sthat gonna look, who's gonna do
what, it can cause a ton ofconflict right Anytime, even in
your marriage, if your valuesand your goals and the trust and
the communication's messed up,oh, there's gonna be so much
(07:21):
conflict, you're gonna hate yourlife for a little while.
And so that is one thing I cansay the differences I have
noticed with being in businesswith my spouse.
It's one of my favorite thingsbecause I just it's like a
safety, like I just know he'sgoing to be there.
I can trust him to do the job,I can trust him to take care of
my customers.
You know, the communication isa little interesting sometimes
because I'm an over communicator.
John's not so much, but I knowwhat he does communicate.
(07:45):
It's going to be the truth,it's going to be the best for us
and I know his values and goalswere heading the same direction
.
There's also a greaterflexibility and work-life
balance if you're on the sameteam.
And then let me kind of explainit this way so if I worked for
Walmart, for example, and Johnworked for we'll just say Target
, we both probably havedifferent schedules.
We have different bosses, right, we probably have to some maybe
(08:08):
work days, some work nights, Idon't know weekends, not
weekends, whatever.
So our schedules are kind ofconflicting sometimes because I
have to do what my boss tells meor what the job's telling me.
In this case, because we worktogether.
The beauty is we have ourcompany set up and our team set
up and the people.
So if John and I want to take avacation, we're not having to go
to separate companies and say,okay, I'd like to get time off,
(08:31):
and then hope that no one elseis taking that time off and then
try to get those to match up.
Or if I want to take a Fridayoff or I have a dentist
appointment, he has a dentistappointment or whatever, like
it's.
It's so much simpler in my ownbusiness because you can believe
, if I'm going on vacation, he'sgoing with me, right, and so we
can go together and we justmake that decision.
Also, if I leave, I know I havehim here right Now.
(08:53):
He doesn't do my job per se,but I know that like it's in
good hands if I leave right.
Or I feel like if there's afunction and I want him to go
too, we're kind of on the sameteam at that function right,
because we're both talking aboutour business, we're both
learning about the business orwhatever, and then we have this
shared passion and thecommitment to the business.
(09:14):
Now I've seen that in situations, for example, with my other
business partner.
His person, his significantother, was not interested in the
business I think, became veryjealous of it.
It does happen they call ityour business, becomes your
mistress, because you spend somuch time, especially in the
beginning, building it that yourspouse gets kind of left out
and they don't always want tohear about the business.
(09:35):
They get sick of hearing aboutit.
Well, the good news is, johnand I, we have that shared
passion, we have that commitmentto the business and so we both
are on the same page.
We kind of already know what'shappening.
We're not jealous of it, we'rekind of both excited about
promoting it and growing it andit makes it so we're like on the
same page.
Now that we've talked about allthese great things, let's talk
(09:56):
about the challenges on theother side.
So these are going to beinteresting because they can be
deal killers for some people.
For me, we figure it out, butokay.
So some common challenges,balancing the personal and
professional boundaries.
This one can be, can be toughsometimes because from my own
(10:17):
experience you know, john and Iwork together every day.
So sometimes he makes me mad'sa fact, I make him mad sometimes
and in those moments of likeyou're really pissing me off.
Right now, the reality has tocome in that like, okay, wait a
minute.
Am I mad at you as my husbandin that perspective, or am I
(10:37):
kind of upset with you becauseyou're my co, my co-worker, my
boss?
What is it?
And in this case we're businesspartners.
So I'm like I have to kind ofremember that I can't just be
the wife here.
I have to be business partner.
And you have to kind of flipyour mind.
Instead of like don't take itpersonally as the wife.
Maybe look at it more from alens of if this was my business
partner, would I be okay withwhat they're saying or would I
(10:58):
take it so personal?
Right, obviously you don't wantto be mushy all the time around
your employees.
You got to keep that boundarybecause you don't want to just
be gross little married couple,but I think you also don't want
to treat each other poorlyeither.
So you have to keep thisbusiness professional of like At
work we're business partners,at home we're husband and wife.
That challenge also getsinteresting because sometimes
(11:20):
you carry your work home withyou, which is the next one
managing disagreements andconflicts.
So maybe John and I just had arough day at work and things
went awry.
We didn't agree as businesspartners or whatever, and we're
kind of annoyed with each other.
Well, guess what happens?
This man and myself we go homeand now I have to face this guy
who's annoyed me all day ormaybe I'm still mad about
something or whatever and I haveto now face him and try not to
(11:43):
drag work home.
And I think that becomes veryhard because with your spouse
not in the business, she doesn'tknow about it.
Maybe you're not even gonnatell her about it, maybe you
don't want to harp on it, ormaybe she can give you a
different perspective.
But in my case, I go home andI'm like oh yeah, john, john
annoyed me, he hurt my feelingsthere, he didn't do something
the way I wanted, or blah, blah,blah, and so you have to kind
(12:05):
of work on not dragging thatstuff home.
And then you have to be carefulabout not bringing work home
all the time, because that'ssomething I did.
I always worked and you have tokind of leave work at work, and
so I've been much better aboutthat.
Like, when I get home, I don'treally want to talk about work.
I want to just talk about like,let's do something fun, let's
hang out, let's cuddle, whateverlet's make it us time.
And I've kind of struggled withon vacations in the past, but
(12:27):
the last two I'm very proud ofmyself, I've kind of stuck in.
I didn't bring my computer toon vacation, I didn't want to
talk about work.
I kind of was able to separate,which is really important.
And then you have this powerdynamic and this decision-making
dynamic.
That can be interesting.
So again, you can't pull rank.
So if I'm at home and not everywoman's going to love this, but
(12:48):
I'm going to be honest womencan I mean everybody can be
manipulative, but women havethis power over their husbands,
right.
And so if you use it wrong, itcan be bad.
And I think you have to makesure you're not like well, I'm
the wife, so I'm going to justdo what I want.
Well, if my business partnerdoesn't like what I'm doing in
the business or has an idea andI'm just shooting it down,
that's pretty unfair because I'mhis wife.
(13:09):
I have to stop that and I haveto look at the perspective of
like my business partner maybewants to grow the business or
change or do something.
I have to look at him in adifferent light, right, we have
to also make sure that we'rebeing respectful of each other
and the fact that it's nothusband-wife right now, it's,
you know, John and myself asbusiness partners and we have
different perspectives and wehave to be careful so we don't
(13:29):
just override all that.
And then you have to have thesedifferent identities right,
maintaining the individualidentity outside of the business
.
So that's not bringing it home.
That's, you know, not john.
You know maybe, john, I do a lotfor john, the business as far
as meeting, paperwork, and Ihelp him where I can.
I don't want to see that justdragged at home where I have to
(13:49):
do everything there because I'mlike are you ready?
I do that at work, I don't wantto do that here, right, or I
don't know, maybe in yourbusiness, maybe you're, you're
more the decision maker and theother spouse is not.
You don't want to drag thathome with you because that can
cause some serious problems.
So if we look at that now, wesay, okay, well, how do we make
this successful, this businesspartnership with my spouse?
How is this going to besuccessful?
(14:11):
Well, here's some tips andstrategies for you to use to run
your business together withinthe marriage and still keep it
happy and still enjoy runningyour business.
So you want to establish clearroles and responsibilities.
You want to clearly define yourrole in your marriage and in
your business so you can avoidconfusion, like establish
(14:32):
specific times for businessdiscussions versus personal time
.
Right, john and I try not tobring too much personal time
into work.
Now we might go to lunchtogether, have a coffee date or
something like that, butbusiness time is business time.
Home time is home time.
Now, once in a while you'll getthat blur, but you've got to be
careful about doing thatbecause I would kind of I was
pretty bad about that one time.
(14:54):
Then you want to identify yourstrengths right, divide those
roles up, determine who's goingto do what, what the
responsibilities are in thebusiness, and if your partner is
really good at sales and otheroperations, then assign those
tasks accordingly.
So, for example, john knows Iam I'm just really good in the
office, I'm good with organizing, I'm a good leader, that kind
of stuff, and so he lets mepretty much run the office.
(15:14):
John is the delivery guy.
He loves being out on the road,he loves driving, so we put him
in that role.
He also kind of has a hybridrole, which he doesn't have to
do a lot because our guys arepretty damn amazing, but he goes
and he'll, you know, check onthe guys.
He'll help me order materials.
Sometimes he'll talk to theguys about certain jobs and how
they need to be done or pricingstuff, so he'll get pulled in a
little bit for that.
But we've really defined ourrole.
(15:36):
So then it's important that,like John doesn't come in now
and try to do my job, becausethat's going to drive me crazy,
and if I go out there and try tomicromanage him and his guys,
that's going to drive him crazy.
And so I think we're reallyclear on our roles and what we
do.
Then it's really important tocommunicate openly and honestly.
You need to frame thosediscussions in a way that is
like a collaborative way, right?
(15:58):
So like everybody kind of getsa say Use the words we instead
of I or you, to promote teamworkand share responsibility.
So don't just make it I runthis business, I do that.
I'm sick of this.
Be like we are going to sharethis.
We're going to push thisbusiness right.
Turn it into a team.
You want to encourage honestfeedback by reassuring each
other that all opinions arevalued and the constructive
(16:20):
criticism is aimed atimprovement, not personal
attacks.
You don't want to just come tohim and like BS him.
You don't want to come to himand attack him.
You just need to come to himand say okay, in the moments
that this happens this is how itmakes me feel, not when you do
this blah, blah, blah, blah.
Well, that's going to kind ofset him on defense and he's
going to probably stop listening.
So you want to make sure youframe that in a way that like so
(16:41):
he sees that it's bothering you, but not an attack on him.
And then you really want tofocus on seeing each other's
viewpoints right, like you'vegot to take yourself out of your
shoes and put yourself in them,reflect back to them what
you're hearing them say, andthen ask clarifying questions.
So like if John and I have adiscussion, he says you know X,
(17:04):
y, z, whatever.
I'm going to rephrase that backand say okay, if I understand
you correctly, you're telling meblank, right?
So in this case I'll makesomething up.
Like, if I understood youcorrectly, you're telling me
that when I say you never dothis, it hurts my feelings.
I mean, that's something thatcomes up, the word never.
I don't like it.
I'm like if you say to me younever do this, it means I've
never once done it, and that'sbullcrap.
That doesn't work for me.
(17:25):
So that's like in our ownmarriage.
That's something we have towatch because that bothers me.
So just kind of always try toput yourself in their shoes,
have some mercy and grace onthem, because also, you know,
maybe they were annoying today,but you don't know, maybe John
gets screamed at by a guy on theroad, or maybe his delivery
went awry, or, like me, todayI've had a crazy hectic day and
maybe I'm a little stressed.
Well, you know, maybe I can putmyself in their shoes and say,
well, I had a great day, butmaybe they didn't and maybe
(17:46):
something bad happened orwhatever, and so that'll help
you, I think.
Be more merciful to them andkind.
You want to set thoseboundaries, carve out that time
for personal pursuits.
You want to set thoseboundaries, carve out that time
for personal pursuits?
Okay, so this one was like twoyears ago.
I didn't know what the hellthis was, but I have figured
that out.
I'm definitely in a verydifferent place.
So you want to make thoseconscious efforts to leave
(18:08):
business discussions at theoffice or during scheduled
meetings right, create ritualsto switch gears when
transitioning from work to home.
And those rituals can be, youknow, just on the way home, turn
the music on, turn your phoneoff, whatever.
Try to transition your mindfrom I'm work, now I'm, you know
, boss, to like get home and nowI'm husband and daddy right.
Or I'm wife and mommy.
You got to kind of have somekind of way to transition
(18:31):
yourself from that Kind of like.
When you come home, you knowyour mind's going 100 miles in a
minute and you're just tryingto like survive the day.
And then you get home and nowyou've got to turn into wife or
mom, right.
Or, if you're a boy, dad, right.
So work on figuring that out.
You want to make sure youdiscuss and establish those
shared goals for both yourmarriage and your business and
(18:51):
you want to align on commonobjectives to foster unity and
cooperation.
Because the problem is, ifyou're like I'm going to double,
double, double and we're goingto be on the road 700 days a
year, I mean that's notrealistic, that's double a year,
but you know what I'm saying.
If I'm going to be on the road365 days a year.
That's the goal for thebusiness, because I want to
triple it.
But then you have this marriagegoal of spending more time
(19:16):
together.
Well, that doesn if you havethis goal.
You want to spend time withyour kids on Saturdays to go to
their games?
Well, if your goal is also totrip your business and you're
gonna have to work every weekend, that's not going to work and
that's going to make your spousemad and your kids mad.
So think about that stuff.
You also want to support eachother's individual growth.
Right as partners.
(19:38):
Engage in activities thatpromote personal well-being,
which in turn benefits yourpartnership both personally and
professionally.
So if you're a fan of soccer,go to soccer games or play
soccer or go exercise or go runor whatever it is you like to do
.
Have coffee on Saturdaymornings, read the paper.
If you are miserable as aperson, you're going to be
miserable as a business partner,you're going to be miserable as
a spouse and you're going to bemiserable as a parent.
(20:00):
So, like, figure that stuff out, because when you're happy,
it's going to come through toyour children, your business,
everybody, your friendshipseverywhere, and then that's part
of fostering those individualhobbies and interests outside of
the business.
Work is not all good, I told oneof my coaching clients.
I said, you know, make sure hewas on a business trip.
But I said, try to have somefun while you're there, because
(20:23):
all work and no play makes you adull boy.
And I'm like.
It's true.
When I used to work all thetime I was so miserable, I hated
my life and I'm sure everybodynoticed it because I just wasn't
happy, I wasn't smiling, Iwasn't having fun.
And I've changed all that, I'mnot doing that anymore.
And then you want to createspace for quality time together
outside of the business.
That's so important for yourmarriage.
Regularly assess how you bothare feeling about the business
(20:45):
and your relationship.
Make sure you allow it to befree-flowing, right, open
dialogue, talk about theconcerns, develop rituals that
promote connection.
You know, have weekly datenights or morning check-ins.
Engage in hobbies or activitiestogether outside of the
workplace.
That way you can, you know,have this positive atmosphere.
(21:05):
Schedule those short trips orthose weekend getaways to
refresh your relationships awayfrom the pressure of business.
I actually find that theseshorter three, four-day trips to
me are so much more fun than aweek and a half or two-week trip
because I'm gone too long, Ikind of start to miss home and
then I'm so far behind at workit stresses me out when, if I'm
just gone for three or four days, it's so much easier.
(21:26):
I relax more.
I find it's less less stressbecause it's less expensive.
So you know, I'd rather havemore of those than these big
long trips.
That's just me.
Maybe you're different.
Cultivate resilience and support.
Acknowledge the stressors thatcome with entrepreneurship and
other you know stresses thatcome into that, and then offer
each other support during thetough times.
We don't have to pretend likeit's all okay all the time.
(21:49):
Allow each other space forpersonal time, self-care, you
know.
Let them have time to go to thegym, let them have time to read
the paper in quiet or do quiettime or whatever they like to do
.
Don't constantly be on eachother's backs because we all
have to recharge, we all need totake care of ourselves.
And then remember thatentrepreneurship comes with
unpredictability.
Patience during tough times isessential.
(22:09):
Try not to lose your patienceso fast.
Don't do those regularrevisiting of your core values
as a couple right, having ashared foundation that helps you
navigate challenges with aunified approach and then really
acknowledge that you both havesuccessfully navigated the
changes in the past and thenreinforce that like we've had
tough times.
We stuck it out, we got throughit together and it'll happen
(22:30):
again and we can do it together.
If you have to seek outsidesupport, that's great, I mean.
If not, I still recommend it.
Get a mentor, get some kind ofcounselor, get a therapist,
whatever.
Work with a business coach or amarriage counselor to navigate
the complexities of being bothspouse and business partners.
It can be hard.
Celebrate successes andmilestones together, acknowledge
(22:52):
and celebrate both personal andbusiness achievements together.
It'll reinforce your teamworkas people together and it
strengthens that bond.
Surround yourself withsupportive friends and family
who can provide encouragementand perspective yourself with
supportive friends and familywho can provide encouragement
and perspective.
So I think it's reallyimportant.
I've watched John and I over theyears grow and learn to
(23:13):
communicate and learn to shareand learn to.
You know, let the stuff out,and I think you just have to
work on being a team.
I mean, I think some of thebiggest lessons I've learned
would be to chill out out, relax, take time for myself,
communicate with my husband,communicate with my business
partner.
You know I'm a goodcommunicator but I have a hard
(23:33):
time.
I almost become like a pit bullwith a with a bone or a dog
with a bone, like I just won'tlet it go and sometimes I forget
that, like we all have our ownstuff, we're all at different
paces, we're all different and,man, there's so much I've
learned in this life that I seeto do differently now.
And it's okay to make thosemistakes, it's okay to learn
that stuff and now I can just bebetter, going forward.
(23:56):
I'm not going to beat myself upover it over the past, because
it's done, I can't change it,but I'm going to keep going
forward and be better.
I'm going to be a better spouse, better business partner,
better business coach, betterfriend, because I've learned
these things.
So some advice I want to giveyou.
I mean I've already given you aton here.
I don't know what you want fromme.
No, I'm just kidding.
But truly, if you're thinkingabout venturing into an
(24:18):
entrepreneurship together,starting a business, whatever,
make sure you have those sharedvision and goals.
Kind of have thoseconversations, get that plan
together.
Setting those shared goalsensures that both are on the
same path and you're going tohave the same outcome.
Define the clear roles andresponsibilities, discuss the
expectations, set clearboundaries from the beginning,
(24:40):
define each other's partner'srole so you don't overlap and
there's no confusion, and it'llgive you both, as a couple, more
strength and your business willbe way more organized.
You know, and sometimes whenit's just you and your spouse, I
remember my other businesspartner, when I we started,
there was like our names were oneverything.
I was like I'm marketing, I'madvertising, I'm, I'm office,
(25:01):
I'm bookkeeper, I'm HR, I'm allthese things, and he had to do
all these things and I was likeI don't know how we're gonna do
all this, but over time you'llfill those roles with other
people, but we did it together.
You know our business surviveduntil we didn't do stuff
together anymore.
Somewhere we just got way off.
You know, the walls were built,resentment were built and it
just completely destroyed thebusiness in this perspective of
(25:22):
like our partnership.
And so I don't want that tohappen to you, because in a
marriage it's even worse,because you're losing your
family, you're losing those vowsyou made in front of God, and
it's so important to figure thatstuff out.
You want to really embraceflexibility.
Be prepared for the uniquedynamics of working with your
spouse.
If you've never done it, it isinteresting, but it's also fun.
It'll help you kind of navigatethe up and down of
(25:44):
entrepreneurship.
Flexibility is something that Ihave been well I struggled with
this year.
Just a few months ago, mytherapist told me she's like
let's work on you being moreflexible.
Practice being more flexibleMeaning, like you know, don't be
so harsh and strict, and I livein a box sometimes and I forget
that, like I have to come outof that box.
It's more fun getting out ofthe box right.
(26:06):
It doesn't have to be perfectlyin this little box all the time
.
My old business partner taughtme that, like, get out of the
box right, just be different,think different, try different
things.
You want to have that opencommunication.
Make sure you're having opencommunication, mutual respect
for each other.
Make sure you have thisenvironment where both partners
can express your ideas withoutbeing told they're stupid.
(26:26):
Express your concerns withoutthem being thrown away or told
that, oh, just get over it.
Well, that's not how it works.
And then have this honestfeedback right.
Have regular check-ins that canhelp address any issues before
they escalate.
John and I are really goodabout that because we live
together.
My other business partner.
We did so good with that untilit just like the meetings
dropped off.
He wouldn't show up Businessthings happened and we couldn't
(26:48):
make meetings whatever, and themore those fell away, the worse
the communication got, and thenthat's when the whole thing
crumbled.
It just wasn't good anymore.
And that's true in life and inmarriage and friendships.
And so I want you to rememberto embrace the opportunity to
work together as a couple,leverage your unique strengths
and perspectives to help build asuccessful business and a life.
(27:10):
Thank you, guys for listening,thank you for tuning in.
We always love to hear yourexperiences and insights about
working together as a marriedcouple.
If you guys are married outthere and you're working with
your spouse, visit me atwwwlightupyourbusinesspodcastcom
.
Share your thoughts, your ideas.
If you want to come on as acouple and talk to me, I would
love to have that.
I guarantee you.
Other business owners can learnfrom you, just like you learn
(27:31):
from me.
If you're interested in being aguest on the show, apply
through the website.
Today In this podcast, weexplored the benefits and
challenges of running a smallbusiness with your spouse, along
with strategies to helpnavigate the journey together.
Along with strategies to helpnavigate the journey together.
I hope you feel empowered tomake informed decisions that
will accelerate your growth andhelp you achieve your business
goals as a team.
Thank you guys so much forlistening.
(27:52):
Like, share, subscribe, youknow, tell your friends about me
, and I'm just excited to seewhat you guys are doing.
You're doing great things, so Ithank you and I will see you
guys next time.
And remember, in the world ofbusiness, every success story
begins with a passionate dreamand ends with a strategic
billion dollar handshake.
Stay ambitious, stay innovativeand keep making those deals
(28:15):
that reshape tomorrow.
Thank you all for tuning in anduntil next time.
Remember proverbs 3 3 says letlove and faithfulness never
leave you.
Bind them around your neck,write them on the tablet of your
heart.
That way you will win favor anda good name in the sight of God
and man.
And remember if you like whatyou heard today, click the
follow button so you never missan episode.
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