February 25, 2025 • 35 mins
Discover the "Art' of increasing intimacy in our relationship as we grow older and how this can lead to greater, more fulfilling sexual experiences.
In this revealing and stimulating interview, Dr. Jim Polakof interviews Joan Price– a specialist in Senior Intimacy and “Ageless Sexuality”! Her multiple award-winning book: Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex – has received rave reviews!
Recommended for Adults – aged 50, 60 and above.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to another episode of Live Healthy Longer
with Dr Jim, and in this episodewe're going to explore boosting
your intimacy and sex life.
This episode is supported inpart by Amazon Books.
Their slogan is everything fromA to Z, and I'll have great
(00:28):
reading recommendations for youat the conclusion of this
podcast.
So now here's our host,healthcare specialist author and
very popular podcaster, dr JimPolakoff.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yes, I'm Dr Jim Polakoff, and in this episode
I'm going to share a bit of sexwith you.
Please don't take my commentthe wrong way, but it's time to
discuss a subject that most ofus should talk about more often.
Now it's particularly true ifwe've reached the age of 50 or
60 and above.
Studies reveal that olderadults who are not satisfied
(01:04):
with their sex lives often saythat health conditions, perhaps
a loss of desire, pain, evenconcerns about the way that you
look, are some of the reasonsyou're not having sex as often
as you'd like to.
Now my guest for this episodeis Joan Price.
She's a specialist in seniorintimacy and ageless sexuality.
(01:27):
Her multiple award-winning bookNaked at Our Age Talking Out
Loud About Senior Sex, hasreceived rave reviews.
In fact, a review published inthe New York Times states this
Price is fierce and unapologeticin addressing ways we can
marginalize the sexuality ofolder adults.
(01:47):
But in any case, it's time toget sexier.
Welcome to Live Healthy Longer,joan Price.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I'm so happy to be here and I'm so happy to be
talking about my favoritesubject with your audience.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Oh yes, and we're going to get into that favorite
subject.
So getting into the firstquestion, joan, why don't we
begin by redefining sex?
You recommend we should bebroadening the definition of sex
specifically activities thatarouse you.
Now, can you expand upon this?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Absolutely when we were young.
Let me back up a little.
When we were young and ourhormones were aging, we had a
certain goal in sex.
For example, if you happen tobe in a heterosexual couple and
I'm not assuming everybody is,but if you happen to be, that,
it might be partner intercourse,that that was sex.
(02:43):
Anything else was maybeforeplay, but it wasn't Big sex,
big letter sex.
As we age and some of the wayswe used to enjoy sex become more
problematic or uncomfortable,painful or impossible.
If we then give up on sex, saywell, I can't do that, therefore
(03:05):
sex is over, then we'redepriving ourselves of pleasure
that can be ours lifelong.
And if instead we say, ah, sexis anything that arouses us,
that gives us sexual pleasure,that brings us to orgasm,
(03:28):
pleasure that brings us toorgasm, if that can happen, then
we're not only going to enjoysex more, but we'll have more of
it because we're redefining itdifferently.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Well, that's interesting.
And, of course, you mentionedabout youth.
I still feel, and I can justtell you're certainly young at
heart, and so am I, so youth isa figment of our imagination in
my opinion.
But in any case, one of yourfavorite remarks is just do it
Now.
I believe you're saying that ifyou're experiencing a
responsive desire, you should beopening up to engaging with
(03:56):
your pleasure.
Let the desire kick in.
Is that it?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yes, absolutely.
You've explained that well andlet me expand upon that, because
so many people don't understandthat spontaneous desire, which
is the way we used to feeldesire.
Our hormones propelled us intowanting sex.
The older we get and the lesswe are hormone driven, the less
we're going to feel spontaneousdesire, desire that just hits us
(04:26):
and says I want to have sexright now, come on, you ready.
And instead but instead ofthinking I don't feel desire
anymore which is what so manypeople tell me in my age group
and younger, say over 50,they'll say I don't feel desire
anymore.
But what they're really sayingand they don't understand this
(04:48):
is they don't feel spontaneousdesire.
But I learned from EmilyNagoski's wonderful book come as
you are that there are twokinds of desire.
That spontaneous desire is onlyone way.
The other is called responsivedesire.
That is desire that happens inresponse to pleasure and arousal
(05:11):
.
So if we're in a good, loving,safe relationship and we used to
really enjoy sex, but we thinkwe just don't get around to it
because I don't feel desire, wejust don't get around to it
because I don't feel desire.
If instead you say why don't wejust get started?
Why don't we start pleasuringeach other, or if you're solo,
(05:34):
why don't I start pleasuringmyself and see if the desire
kicks in after the physiologicalarousal and the pleasure?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
So if we're sitting on a park bench with our loved
one and we look into eachother's eyes and we become
stimulated or that desire, ofcourse we're not going to.
I think in this day and timewe're not about to find a place
in the park where we can enjoyourselves, but at that point in
time it might be spontaneous togo back home and take advantage
(06:07):
of that twinkle in our eye.
Am I correct?
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Well, spontaneous activity is different from
spontaneous desire.
So, if we're talking about thetwo kinds of desire, you look
into your partner's eyes on apark bench and you go oh my gosh
, I really could get interestedin having sex with my lover.
Why don't we hold hands as wewalk through the park and get
(06:33):
back to our home or our hotelroom or someplace where we won't
?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
get arrested Wherever we can hide comfortably.
You're right.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
We probably don't want to lie down in the grass,
but you know, if we take thatwith us already, the desire is
starting to happen in responseto really feeling in love and
attracted to our partner andlooking into each other's eyes
and feeling safe and comfortableand thinking about the last
(07:06):
time, maybe, that we were sexualtogether.
All of that can get the juicesflowing and make us want to
engage in sex.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Well, that makes a lot of sense.
Now you also recommend havingsex more often.
So if one has difficulty witharousal or an orgasm, I think
you're saying you can overcomethat by having more sex more
often, correct?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
The hardest part about getting aroused after a
long period of not doing it inany way not solo, not partnered
is that initial getting theblood flow to the genitals,
getting the mindset, getting ridof the distractions.
Once we do that for ourselvesor for another or the other for
(07:57):
us, then we will find oh, thatwas really fun.
Why don't we not wait threemonths to do it again?
And if we set ourselves a goal,a practice of engaging in
sexual arousal and orgasm, maybetwice a week, with ourself or
(08:17):
sex toy or a partner, then thenext time we do it it won't be
so hard to get aroused.
And if we get a regularpractice, then, just like you
want to do yoga twice a week orline dancing twice a week or
whatever it is that you like todo for your body, if you engage
(08:38):
in sexual expression twice aweek, then it will be easier
because our genitals are used tobeing aroused again.
They don't have to go.
Oh yeah, I remember that fromthree months ago.
Let me see how did that happenanyway, can you remind me?
Instead, it's going oh yeah, Iremember that from Saturday
afternoon.
(08:58):
Now I say twice a week becausethere are health benefits from
having a regular orgasm at leastonce a week.
And when I promote twice a weekbecause life happens, we may
not feel well one day orsuddenly the grandkids are
banging at the door or we havean appointment we can't get out
(09:21):
of.
Then at least we have thatfallback of the other time a
week.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Does that make sense?
Oh, the other time, now it doesmake sense.
Of course I suppose you're notopposed to three times a week,
but in any case— oh no, I'm notopposed to every day, if you'd
like, Right.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
But?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
what should we do?
I mean, should we be making adate with each other to—?
Yes, is that it Less at a time?
Yes, we should, let's makeTuesday the special day, and
maybe again on Friday orSaturday Exactly.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
We should make dates with ourselves and or with our
partners for a special time.
Put it in the calendar, youknow, put a little heart in the
calendar.
Whatever kind of reminder youwant, just because many of us
are retired doesn't mean we'renot busy and many would have a
different symbol, but that'sokay, yeah, okay another.
(10:11):
You can put an eggplant eggplant, there you go and that's on the
calendar, and what that does isnot only does that make it more
likely it will happen, butwe'll start thinking about it.
We'll start with mentalforeplay, just like when we were
teenagers If we had a date withsomeone that we were really
(10:33):
wild about, if we had thatSaturday date.
Well, along about Tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday, we're
already thinking about it allthe time and we're getting
ourselves ready for it.
We're preparing, we're choosingour clothing and our grooming
and we're maybe you know allthese other things that go into
(10:56):
the preparation, and by the timewe have that date, we're
already partially aroused ormaybe fully aroused.
We can bring that kind of thingback.
Well, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, and it's fun but.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I'm just curious At 60, 70, 80 years old, is there a
difference between when we wereyoung and there was more of a
lustful feeling, as opposed toyou're now talking about getting
a mental mindset.
Is there a difference betweenthe two?
Do we need to think differently?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
There's a difference because, again, it's not
hormonal.
It's our hormones at ouryounger age were driving us to
reproduce, even if we werecarrying condoms and had no
intention to reproduce.
That's what our hormones weretelling us, so we got excited
easily.
For us, even if we do all thisplanning, we may still need that
(11:52):
slow warm-up.
We may still need a lot ofkissing and touching and
laughing together.
Laughing together is so sexy.
Have you found that?
It's really delightful?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Oh, I agree with you 100%.
Laughter is the best medicine,they often say.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Oh yeah, and it's a good aphrodisiac too.
Singing 50 songs in bedtogether, whatever it takes to
make you feel connected, is partof that foreplay.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Oh, that's another good suggestion.
Now, two areas that youdiscussed and I think.
Correct me if I'm wrong, buttwo recommendations.
The first, in terms of havingsex, is a lubricant that you
recommend strongly, and secondly, you're also suggesting a
vibrator can assist in arousal,in reaching an orgasm or arousal
(12:45):
itself.
Expound upon this a bit if youwould.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Lubricant is always helpful at any age and it's
essential the older we get.
If we are engaging in any kindof genital touching, we need to
use lubricant, and that'slubricant on our hands,
lubricant on our genitals,lubricant on our sex toys,
(13:09):
because if we have vaginas theydon't lubricate naturally as
well or maybe at all.
Plus, the vaginal walls arethinner and they're more apt to
not experience the joy offriction unless we've really
smoothed things over with a lotof lubricant.
Also, we may even instimulating a penis.
(13:31):
It goes much better hand pluslubricant plus penis or toy plus
lubricant plus penis than itdoes with just trying to do
without.
So it's essential for anygender, any orientation, any way
of having sex to just have thatlubricant, a good lubricant,
available.
I recommend, if I may make arecommendation, wicked Sensual
(13:55):
Care, simply Timeless line oflubricants which was created for
pre-menopause, menopause andpostmenopause and is great for
us at our age.
Sex toys a good, well-chosensex toy can be the difference
between orgasm and no orgasm,and it's something sometimes
(14:19):
that simple.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
So it sounds like we're going to need a toolkit.
That's unquestionable In theolden days when we're necking in
the car.
We didn't need that toolkit,but now we do.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I recommend a sex basket where we put everything
in it.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
There you go.
Well, which one of your booksperhaps you could recommend?
I mean, obviously I'm sure youhave recommendations of
lubricants, sex toys in one ofyour books.
Which one would that be thatpeople should read if they want
to be very specific?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Well, to be most up-to-date about my
recommendations, read my blog,joanpricecom slash blog, and
subscribe to my newsletter,where I give you the most
up-to-date information, becausemy books are absolutely
wonderful about the need for sextoys, but books that were
(15:09):
written in 2012 or 2015 areabsolutely up-to-date with the
recommendations in general forwhat you need for good sex, but
to be up-to-date with specificlubricants and sex toys, you
need to read what I'm writingcurrently.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
We need the latest rocket science I can understand
that you do need the latestrocket science.
So I understand, of course, andmany people perhaps don't know
this about you, but you'reactually a fitness professor, a
professional not a professor,but a professional, and you
believe that exercise should bea treat, not a treatment, but a
professional.
And you believe that exerciseshould be a treat, not a
(15:46):
treatment.
And you recommend and this isreally mind-boggling, you
recommend exercise before sex.
Now, I think that's a prettynovel idea.
You're going to be huffing andpuffing, I'm not really sure,
but talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Okay.
The reason for that is, as weage, that rush of blood to the
genitals which createsengorgement of the penis,
engorgement of the clitoris andorgasm.
All of that that used to happenquickly when we were hormone
driven back in our youth, as wewere talking about youth, as we
(16:29):
were talking about that hasslowed down.
How do you speed it up?
Exercise speeds up the bloodrush to the muscles, as we know.
The brain, as we know, becausewe know we think better after
exercise.
It also enhances arousalbecause it speeds up the blood
rush to the genitals too,because it speeds up the blood
rush to the genitals too.
So I wouldn't say, take a runand at the finish line have sex.
No, but do whatever you enjoy.
(16:53):
That gets you moving, that getsthat blood rush going to the
muscles.
Should you exercise?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
together, is that?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
an idea?
Oh, yes, if you like the samekind of exercise because that
gets us in touch with ourphysicality together.
That's really nice and, if youlike, the same thing.
Dancing, for example, is a realaphrodisiac.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
And you can do that at home.
You don't necessarily need tobe somewhere.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Well, that's true, you can do that at home.
That's true, you can do that athome.
And let's say, maybe you go outin the evening, you take a line
dance class, a salsa class,whatever, or freestyle, and then
the next day because Irecommend daytime sex, not
nighttime sex when you're alertand have the energy, so if you
(17:41):
say, well, let's just practicewhat we learned in last night's
salsa lesson in the living roomand then take a shower together
and then go to bed and havewonderful sex.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Salsa, the great spice, I can understand that, oh
, it is Very spicy.
This leads me to anotherquestion, which is a sort of a
converse question, you might say, in a sense, when it comes to
food.
You know, eating before sex,apparently I mean, sends food to
your digestive system but notto your genitals.
(18:13):
So I assume priming yourarousal with chocolate-covered
strawberries and a few glassesof wine isn't a good move.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Save that for afterwards.
So exercise first, have sex,then eat, because, as you just
said and thank you for quotingfrom one of my tips that food
eating just slows down the bloodflow because it goes to the
digestive system and at our ageI can't go to the digestive
(18:45):
system with enough leftover forour genitals.
So if, instead, we go to bedwith our partner or alone and
have a wonderful sex encounterwith a partner or alone, then we
are likely to be hungry andready and in a great mood to
have a wonderful meal.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So I don't mean to use a pun, but it's like
hungering for sex.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Oh, I love it.
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
There's a new title for one of your books Ready to
go Hungering for sex.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
All right, you hit it there, thank you.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Now it's interesting to note there's a common
misconception, and that's thatage does not protect you from
sexually transmitted diseases.
I mean, many people think, oh,I'm at such an age, I'm not
going to have to worry aboutherpes or things of that nature.
But in fact, a study that Ilooked at said that over the age
(19:42):
of 55, stds actually havedoubled in the past decade.
What's your advice on thissomewhat touchy subject?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
I have a YouTube video, a 45-minute class, if you
will, called Safer Sex forSeniors with Joan Price.
If you Google Safer Sex forSeniors with Joan Price, you'll
find it, where I go into notonly all of the reasons that we
seniors need to be extra carefulto take precautions, because,
(20:15):
for one, our vaginal walls arethinner, as I said, and it is
more likely that we can receivea sexually transmitted infection
rather than less likely, andalso just because we can't get
pregnant anymore.
Get someone pregnant anymore.
That doesn't have anything todo with STIs, because we think
(20:41):
that we don't need to protectourselves.
That's the reason that thoseSTI rates are rampant in seniors
.
That's exactly the reason.
It isn't that we are twice aslikely to get them, it is that
we are twice as likely to notput protection in place.
We think, oh well, that personlooks like a grandfather and
(21:03):
obviously can't have an STI.
We don't know where thatperson's been or with whom.
And I want to say quicklybecause it's all in the video
and I recommend that you watchit talking to the listeners now,
because there's so much Like wethink whoa, I can't maintain an
erection with a condom on.
(21:25):
Yeah, you can, you can.
I actually show in the videohow to put a condom on a flaccid
penis.
Don't you want to see that?
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Well, I'll tell you what.
Right after we're done withthis interview, I'm going right
to YouTube.
Are you on YouTube?
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Is that it?
Yes, it's a YouTube video SaferSex for Seniors with Joan Price
.
All right, let's make sure weuse the word safer because there
might be something safe sex.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So this is Safer Sex with Joan Price.
All right, let's make sure weuse the word safer, because
there might be something safesex.
So this is safer sex with JoanPrice.
Wonderful, yes.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
And I also recommend and people will say well, we'll
just get tested before we havesex.
We're not assuming thateverybody that you want to have
sex with is a future committedrelationship.
You want to have sex with is afuture committed relationship.
You may just want to have sexwith more than one person, or
(22:19):
with someone you've just met fora fling, and I am absolutely
non-judgmental, I'm notpromoting any particular kind of
sexual activity, but I amallowing for.
Just because we're seniorsdoesn't mean that we just want
to settle down with someone.
If we're dating right now andonly have sex within marriage or
within a committed relationship, we might want to explore our
(22:41):
inner wild child.
We might think someone is forus, but we want to make sure
we're sexually compatiblesexually compatible.
So use safer sex barrierprotection with everyone every
time until you are committed tothat person and ready to be
exclusive.
At that time, go ahead and gettested and then you will know
(23:05):
whether you can stop usingbarrier protection.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
And a special label warning to our seniors who are
listening.
This is not.
We don't necessarily aresuggesting that those of you who
have been in a longrelationship or are married to
each other let the wild childcome out and play around.
We're talking about single.
We're talking about obviouslywe're not encouraging other
(23:32):
things other than let's get withit, you know, and let's make
sure we're safe at what we'redoing do any particular kind of
sexual activity.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
I'm giving you options.
I'm accepting that your option,that you choose, might or might
not be what is expected of you,what even that you used to
(24:01):
expect from yourself.
There are people who arewidowed or divorced and they may
want to have some time to playbefore they settle down again,
or they might just be lookingfor another committed partner.
I'm not labeling anything asbad.
I'm not labeling anything asI'm saying you need to do this
(24:25):
thing, and there are people whoare in committed relationships
that are consensuallynon-monogamous.
So it might be also people whoare in relationships, and I know
I'm going to shock some of yourlisteners because—.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Oh, I don't know.
I think our listeners today aregetting, you know, shall we say
, used to the world around us,accustomed to all of it.
So I think you're doing fine.
World around us, accustomed toall of it, so I think you're
doing fine.
In any case, let's discuss.
(25:00):
Well, I identify this as theelephant in the room and it
faces many senior age lovers.
So whether it's sexualdysfunction, which is obviously
you know seniors having surgeryand things of that nature
oftentimes leads to sexualdysfunction.
Or, of course, there are otherchallenges, but I noted in a
study, which was somewhatconcerning, that those who find
challenges in their sexualrelationships only 17% of older
(25:26):
adults just only 17%, amazingactually seek help from their
doctor.
So do you think this is due toembarrassment or if?
Whether it is or not, what sortof help is available and what
do you recommend?
Speaker 3 (25:40):
I love that you're bringing this up because it's a
very, very important issue.
Seniors don't bring it up witha doctor for a few reasons.
One is they're embarrassed.
It up with the doctor for a fewreasons.
One is they're embarrassed.
They think that well, they'regoing to be told.
(26:01):
Well, you're old, what do you?
Expect they're looking at adoctor who may be the age of
their grandchild.
Really Talk about sex with thisperson.
Also, they're rushed in anappointment.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Seven minutes the average appointment.
Oh my gosh, I thought it was 15.
That's down to seven.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Oh, seven.
And so they're dealing with aspecific thing they came in for
and no room for anything else.
Also, they're waiting for thedoctors to bring it up.
And then I've given talks todoctors and it's also in the
study that one of the studiesthat you're referencing that
doctors will not bring it upbecause they think it's invasive
(26:37):
of the patient's privacy.
And they figure well, if itwere an issue, they'll bring it
up, which we don't.
You see, we're in an impasse.
And the other thing is they maynot even feel comfortable about
talking about sex and aging.
They may have had no trainingin that, oh my gosh.
(26:57):
So what do we do?
Well, I have developed what Icall my medical mantra that
seniors can use to kind of putdoctors on the spot and make
sure they answer the question.
May I share that with you andyour audience.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Oh please, I'm anxious to hear it.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Okay, I teach whenever I give a talk.
I teach my audiences to repeatthis after me until they have it
memorized.
I'll tell it to you and thenI'll tell it to you slowly.
Doctor, my sexuality isimportant to me.
Here is what is interferingwith my pleasure.
Can we run the tests and findout what's going on?
And if you can't help me,please refer me to someone who
(27:43):
can.
Excellent question.
Now, when I say let's run thetests, now when I say let's run
the test, often sexualdysfunction whether it is that
we can't get aroused or can'tget erect, or no matter how long
we engage in pleasurable sex,we can't reach orgasm.
This can be the first sign of abig medical issue.
(28:07):
It's the canary in the coalmine and your audience is old
enough to know that phrase.
Younger people don't, and Ihave to explain it.
But it is the first sign thatsomething is wrong and we need
to find out.
Might it be a first sign ofheart disease, of diabetes, of a
(28:27):
neurological issue?
And if we just dismiss it aswell, what do you expect?
You're old, or if you fail tobring it up, you might find
later that you have a medicalcondition that is that much
harder to treat because wedidn't catch it early.
This is so important.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
What you're really saying is don't wait for your
doctor to initiate it.
It's up to you to be proactive.
If you have a challenge, beproactive with your doctor.
Bring the question up, put yourdoctor on the spot.
Even if he only gives you sevenminutes, you can get that extra
30 seconds from his answer.
Boy, I think you're right onthe button 100%.
(29:12):
I mean, you're just a wealth ofinformation, and what it boils
down to is talking about seniorintimacy and ageless sex.
Obviously, on this podcast, wehave time restrictions, so I
want to thank you, joan, forimparting such enlightening
information.
I mean, you just, I know wejust more or less hit the
(29:34):
surface of all of this.
I can see there's so much moreyour books, for example and I
can, just I know that you havemore than just these two, but
Naked at Our Age, of course.
Also, sex After Grief I thinkthat's your latest book, if I'm
right.
Sex After Grief I think that'syour latest book, if I'm right.
Navigating your Sexuality AfterLosing your Beloved yes, that's
(29:55):
the most recent book, isn't?
Speaker 3 (29:57):
it.
That's the most recent book,the Ultimate Guide to Sex After
50.
Before that, the award-winning,as you said, Naked at Our Age,
talking out loud about seniorsex.
My first book, which is a spicymemoir, which I wrote at the
young age of 61.
I'm 81 now.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Better, than I ever.
Oh, you're kidding, 81 yearsold.
Yeah, 81,.
Yes, and I was going to guess39.
You know, some people doremember Jack Benny, but in any
case, Certainly do 39 forever.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
No, I love that I'm aging.
I almost died at 35 in anautomobile accident.
I love that I'm aging.
I almost died at 35 in anautomobile accident.
I love every hour of aging.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
So make the best of it and have great sex at the
same time right, absolutely.
I want to thank you again, Joan.
We're going to have all thisinformation, of course, on our
website and we're going to berepeating it again.
But Joan Price, I want to thankyou so much.
It's joanpricecom that again,but Joan.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Price.
I want to thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
It's joanpricecom.
That's your website.
We're going to repeat it again,but I'm going to urge our
audience not just to look forthese books, but also come to
our website, check out, becausewe'll have your newsletter
access there, plus, obviously,your blog.
So I'm going to encourage youraudience because I know you have
so much more to offer and thankyou.
You have so much more to offerand thank you.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
Thank you so much.
This has been a pleasure.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
It's our pleasure.
I'm going to be right back totell you about six healthy foods
to help boost your sex life.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
You can learn more about Joan Price and her
award-winning books Naked at OurAge and Sex After Grief
Navigating your Sexuality AfterLosing your Beloved, by visiting
JoanPricecom.
But you can also find thisinformation, along with other
great podcasts, by goingdirectly to our website
(31:44):
JamesPolakoffcom.
That's James P-O-L-A-K-O-F dotcom.
Again, that's James Polakoffdot com.
Also, you can discover threeexcellent chapters on intimacy
in our very own Dr JimPolakoff's new book Live Healthy
Longer with Dr Jim Remember youneed to add with Dr Jim to the
(32:05):
title to find it easily onAmazon.
Again, that's Live HealthyLonger with Dr Jim Plus you can
find a series of other terrificbooks and reviews on Amazon.
To make it all easier, visitjamespolikoffcom.
Now back to Dr Jim.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Again, my thanks to Joan Price for an important
enlightenment on agelesssexuality.
So, as promised, now let's turnto the six foods that are
packed with nutrients and canperk up your libido.
We're going to begin withoysters.
Why?
Because they're high in zinc,which increases blood flow to
(32:43):
your sex organs, and if you'renot eating pink flesh fish twice
a week, you might be missingout on some very important
benefits.
Fish such as salmon, tuna,halibut, even sardines, contain
important omega-3s in keepingyour sex life, as well as body,
(33:03):
healthy.
Nuts and seeds like walnuts,are also rich in omega-3s.
Number four are apples.
You've heard the saying anapple a day keeps the doctor
away, but it can also reducehigh blood pressure, which can
lead to sexual dysfunction.
So apples are a good choice.
And are you aware that beetsyes, beets are not only rich in
(33:28):
antioxidants but high innitrates, and that can actually
help boost your sex life.
Finally, food number six andladies are going to love this
red wine.
A study involving women foundthat regular, moderate intake of
red wine is linked to highersexual desire, lubrication and
(33:50):
overall sexual function.
So there's much more to whatI've said about foods that can
help to boost your sex life.
So it's important you read mylatest blog, which provides far
more details.
All you need to do is come tomy website, jamespolikoffcom,
and click on blogs Plus, asmentioned earlier.
(34:12):
Please don't forget to checkout my latest book, live Healthy
Longer with Dr Jim.
It contains three excellentchapters on intimacy and great
sex for older adults.
You can find out where to buythat on my website or just go
straight to Amazoncom.
This is Dr Jim Polakoff, and Iwant to thank you once again for
(34:36):
listening and remember that anew episode of Live Healthy
Longer is available each andevery Wednesday on our website
or wherever you listen topodcasts.
In the meantime, I want to wishyou health and happiness, as
well as intimacy and a great sexlife.
Welcome to another episode of Live Healthy Longer
with Dr Jim, and in this episodewe're going to explore boosting
your intimacy and sex life.
This episode is supported inpart by Amazon Books.
Their slogan is everything fromA to Z, and I'll have great
(00:28):
reading recommendations for youat the conclusion of this
podcast.
So now here's our host,healthcare specialist author and
very popular podcaster, dr JimPolakoff.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yes, I'm Dr Jim Polakoff, and in this episode
I'm going to share a bit of sexwith you.
Please don't take my commentthe wrong way, but it's time to
discuss a subject that most ofus should talk about more often.
Now it's particularly true ifwe've reached the age of 50 or
60 and above.
Studies reveal that olderadults who are not satisfied
(01:04):
with their sex lives often saythat health conditions, perhaps
a loss of desire, pain, evenconcerns about the way that you
look, are some of the reasonsyou're not having sex as often
as you'd like to.
Now my guest for this episodeis Joan Price.
She's a specialist in seniorintimacy and ageless sexuality.
(01:27):
Her multiple award-winning bookNaked at Our Age Talking Out
Loud About Senior Sex, hasreceived rave reviews.
In fact, a review published inthe New York Times states this
Price is fierce and unapologeticin addressing ways we can
marginalize the sexuality ofolder adults.
(01:47):
But in any case, it's time toget sexier.
Welcome to Live Healthy Longer,joan Price.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I'm so happy to be here and I'm so happy to be
talking about my favoritesubject with your audience.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Oh yes, and we're going to get into that favorite
subject.
So getting into the firstquestion, joan, why don't we
begin by redefining sex?
You recommend we should bebroadening the definition of sex
specifically activities thatarouse you.
Now, can you expand upon this?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Absolutely when we were young.
Let me back up a little.
When we were young and ourhormones were aging, we had a
certain goal in sex.
For example, if you happen tobe in a heterosexual couple and
I'm not assuming everybody is,but if you happen to be, that,
it might be partner intercourse,that that was sex.
(02:43):
Anything else was maybeforeplay, but it wasn't Big sex,
big letter sex.
As we age and some of the wayswe used to enjoy sex become more
problematic or uncomfortable,painful or impossible.
If we then give up on sex, saywell, I can't do that, therefore
(03:05):
sex is over, then we'redepriving ourselves of pleasure
that can be ours lifelong.
And if instead we say, ah, sexis anything that arouses us,
that gives us sexual pleasure,that brings us to orgasm,
(03:28):
pleasure that brings us toorgasm, if that can happen, then
we're not only going to enjoysex more, but we'll have more of
it because we're redefining itdifferently.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Well, that's interesting.
And, of course, you mentionedabout youth.
I still feel, and I can justtell you're certainly young at
heart, and so am I, so youth isa figment of our imagination in
my opinion.
But in any case, one of yourfavorite remarks is just do it
Now.
I believe you're saying that ifyou're experiencing a
responsive desire, you should beopening up to engaging with
(03:56):
your pleasure.
Let the desire kick in.
Is that it?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yes, absolutely.
You've explained that well andlet me expand upon that, because
so many people don't understandthat spontaneous desire, which
is the way we used to feeldesire.
Our hormones propelled us intowanting sex.
The older we get and the lesswe are hormone driven, the less
we're going to feel spontaneousdesire, desire that just hits us
(04:26):
and says I want to have sexright now, come on, you ready.
And instead but instead ofthinking I don't feel desire
anymore which is what so manypeople tell me in my age group
and younger, say over 50,they'll say I don't feel desire
anymore.
But what they're really sayingand they don't understand this
(04:48):
is they don't feel spontaneousdesire.
But I learned from EmilyNagoski's wonderful book come as
you are that there are twokinds of desire.
That spontaneous desire is onlyone way.
The other is called responsivedesire.
That is desire that happens inresponse to pleasure and arousal
(05:11):
.
So if we're in a good, loving,safe relationship and we used to
really enjoy sex, but we thinkwe just don't get around to it
because I don't feel desire, wejust don't get around to it
because I don't feel desire.
If instead you say why don't wejust get started?
Why don't we start pleasuringeach other, or if you're solo,
(05:34):
why don't I start pleasuringmyself and see if the desire
kicks in after the physiologicalarousal and the pleasure?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
So if we're sitting on a park bench with our loved
one and we look into eachother's eyes and we become
stimulated or that desire, ofcourse we're not going to.
I think in this day and timewe're not about to find a place
in the park where we can enjoyourselves, but at that point in
time it might be spontaneous togo back home and take advantage
(06:07):
of that twinkle in our eye.
Am I correct?
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Well, spontaneous activity is different from
spontaneous desire.
So, if we're talking about thetwo kinds of desire, you look
into your partner's eyes on apark bench and you go oh my gosh
, I really could get interestedin having sex with my lover.
Why don't we hold hands as wewalk through the park and get
(06:33):
back to our home or our hotelroom or someplace where we won't
?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
get arrested Wherever we can hide comfortably.
You're right.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
We probably don't want to lie down in the grass,
but you know, if we take thatwith us already, the desire is
starting to happen in responseto really feeling in love and
attracted to our partner andlooking into each other's eyes
and feeling safe and comfortableand thinking about the last
(07:06):
time, maybe, that we were sexualtogether.
All of that can get the juicesflowing and make us want to
engage in sex.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Well, that makes a lot of sense.
Now you also recommend havingsex more often.
So if one has difficulty witharousal or an orgasm, I think
you're saying you can overcomethat by having more sex more
often, correct?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
The hardest part about getting aroused after a
long period of not doing it inany way not solo, not partnered
is that initial getting theblood flow to the genitals,
getting the mindset, getting ridof the distractions.
Once we do that for ourselvesor for another or the other for
(07:57):
us, then we will find oh, thatwas really fun.
Why don't we not wait threemonths to do it again?
And if we set ourselves a goal,a practice of engaging in
sexual arousal and orgasm, maybetwice a week, with ourself or
(08:17):
sex toy or a partner, then thenext time we do it it won't be
so hard to get aroused.
And if we get a regularpractice, then, just like you
want to do yoga twice a week orline dancing twice a week or
whatever it is that you like todo for your body, if you engage
(08:38):
in sexual expression twice aweek, then it will be easier
because our genitals are used tobeing aroused again.
They don't have to go.
Oh yeah, I remember that fromthree months ago.
Let me see how did that happenanyway, can you remind me?
Instead, it's going oh yeah, Iremember that from Saturday
afternoon.
(08:58):
Now I say twice a week becausethere are health benefits from
having a regular orgasm at leastonce a week.
And when I promote twice a weekbecause life happens, we may
not feel well one day orsuddenly the grandkids are
banging at the door or we havean appointment we can't get out
(09:21):
of.
Then at least we have thatfallback of the other time a
week.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Does that make sense?
Oh, the other time, now it doesmake sense.
Of course I suppose you're notopposed to three times a week,
but in any case— oh no, I'm notopposed to every day, if you'd
like, Right.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
But?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
what should we do?
I mean, should we be making adate with each other to—?
Yes, is that it Less at a time?
Yes, we should, let's makeTuesday the special day, and
maybe again on Friday orSaturday Exactly.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
We should make dates with ourselves and or with our
partners for a special time.
Put it in the calendar, youknow, put a little heart in the
calendar.
Whatever kind of reminder youwant, just because many of us
are retired doesn't mean we'renot busy and many would have a
different symbol, but that'sokay, yeah, okay another.
(10:11):
You can put an eggplant eggplant, there you go and that's on the
calendar, and what that does isnot only does that make it more
likely it will happen, butwe'll start thinking about it.
We'll start with mentalforeplay, just like when we were
teenagers If we had a date withsomeone that we were really
(10:33):
wild about, if we had thatSaturday date.
Well, along about Tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday, we're
already thinking about it allthe time and we're getting
ourselves ready for it.
We're preparing, we're choosingour clothing and our grooming
and we're maybe you know allthese other things that go into
(10:56):
the preparation, and by the timewe have that date, we're
already partially aroused ormaybe fully aroused.
We can bring that kind of thingback.
Well, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, and it's fun but.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I'm just curious At 60, 70, 80 years old, is there a
difference between when we wereyoung and there was more of a
lustful feeling, as opposed toyou're now talking about getting
a mental mindset.
Is there a difference betweenthe two?
Do we need to think differently?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
There's a difference because, again, it's not
hormonal.
It's our hormones at ouryounger age were driving us to
reproduce, even if we werecarrying condoms and had no
intention to reproduce.
That's what our hormones weretelling us, so we got excited
easily.
For us, even if we do all thisplanning, we may still need that
(11:52):
slow warm-up.
We may still need a lot ofkissing and touching and
laughing together.
Laughing together is so sexy.
Have you found that?
It's really delightful?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Oh, I agree with you 100%.
Laughter is the best medicine,they often say.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Oh yeah, and it's a good aphrodisiac too.
Singing 50 songs in bedtogether, whatever it takes to
make you feel connected, is partof that foreplay.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Oh, that's another good suggestion.
Now, two areas that youdiscussed and I think.
Correct me if I'm wrong, buttwo recommendations.
The first, in terms of havingsex, is a lubricant that you
recommend strongly, and secondly, you're also suggesting a
vibrator can assist in arousal,in reaching an orgasm or arousal
(12:45):
itself.
Expound upon this a bit if youwould.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Lubricant is always helpful at any age and it's
essential the older we get.
If we are engaging in any kindof genital touching, we need to
use lubricant, and that'slubricant on our hands,
lubricant on our genitals,lubricant on our sex toys,
(13:09):
because if we have vaginas theydon't lubricate naturally as
well or maybe at all.
Plus, the vaginal walls arethinner and they're more apt to
not experience the joy offriction unless we've really
smoothed things over with a lotof lubricant.
Also, we may even instimulating a penis.
(13:31):
It goes much better hand pluslubricant plus penis or toy plus
lubricant plus penis than itdoes with just trying to do
without.
So it's essential for anygender, any orientation, any way
of having sex to just have thatlubricant, a good lubricant,
available.
I recommend, if I may make arecommendation, wicked Sensual
(13:55):
Care, simply Timeless line oflubricants which was created for
pre-menopause, menopause andpostmenopause and is great for
us at our age.
Sex toys a good, well-chosensex toy can be the difference
between orgasm and no orgasm,and it's something sometimes
(14:19):
that simple.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
So it sounds like we're going to need a toolkit.
That's unquestionable In theolden days when we're necking in
the car.
We didn't need that toolkit,but now we do.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I recommend a sex basket where we put everything
in it.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
There you go.
Well, which one of your booksperhaps you could recommend?
I mean, obviously I'm sure youhave recommendations of
lubricants, sex toys in one ofyour books.
Which one would that be thatpeople should read if they want
to be very specific?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Well, to be most up-to-date about my
recommendations, read my blog,joanpricecom slash blog, and
subscribe to my newsletter,where I give you the most
up-to-date information, becausemy books are absolutely
wonderful about the need for sextoys, but books that were
(15:09):
written in 2012 or 2015 areabsolutely up-to-date with the
recommendations in general forwhat you need for good sex, but
to be up-to-date with specificlubricants and sex toys, you
need to read what I'm writingcurrently.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
We need the latest rocket science I can understand
that you do need the latestrocket science.
So I understand, of course, andmany people perhaps don't know
this about you, but you'reactually a fitness professor, a
professional not a professor,but a professional, and you
believe that exercise should bea treat, not a treatment, but a
professional.
And you believe that exerciseshould be a treat, not a
(15:46):
treatment.
And you recommend and this isreally mind-boggling, you
recommend exercise before sex.
Now, I think that's a prettynovel idea.
You're going to be huffing andpuffing, I'm not really sure,
but talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Okay.
The reason for that is, as weage, that rush of blood to the
genitals which createsengorgement of the penis,
engorgement of the clitoris andorgasm.
All of that that used to happenquickly when we were hormone
driven back in our youth, as wewere talking about youth, as we
(16:29):
were talking about that hasslowed down.
How do you speed it up?
Exercise speeds up the bloodrush to the muscles, as we know.
The brain, as we know, becausewe know we think better after
exercise.
It also enhances arousalbecause it speeds up the blood
rush to the genitals too,because it speeds up the blood
rush to the genitals too.
So I wouldn't say, take a runand at the finish line have sex.
No, but do whatever you enjoy.
(16:53):
That gets you moving, that getsthat blood rush going to the
muscles.
Should you exercise?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
together, is that?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
an idea?
Oh, yes, if you like the samekind of exercise because that
gets us in touch with ourphysicality together.
That's really nice and, if youlike, the same thing.
Dancing, for example, is a realaphrodisiac.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
And you can do that at home.
You don't necessarily need tobe somewhere.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Well, that's true, you can do that at home.
That's true, you can do that athome.
And let's say, maybe you go outin the evening, you take a line
dance class, a salsa class,whatever, or freestyle, and then
the next day because Irecommend daytime sex, not
nighttime sex when you're alertand have the energy, so if you
(17:41):
say, well, let's just practicewhat we learned in last night's
salsa lesson in the living roomand then take a shower together
and then go to bed and havewonderful sex.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Salsa, the great spice, I can understand that, oh
, it is Very spicy.
This leads me to anotherquestion, which is a sort of a
converse question, you might say, in a sense, when it comes to
food.
You know, eating before sex,apparently I mean, sends food to
your digestive system but notto your genitals.
(18:13):
So I assume priming yourarousal with chocolate-covered
strawberries and a few glassesof wine isn't a good move.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Save that for afterwards.
So exercise first, have sex,then eat, because, as you just
said and thank you for quotingfrom one of my tips that food
eating just slows down the bloodflow because it goes to the
digestive system and at our ageI can't go to the digestive
(18:45):
system with enough leftover forour genitals.
So if, instead, we go to bedwith our partner or alone and
have a wonderful sex encounterwith a partner or alone, then we
are likely to be hungry andready and in a great mood to
have a wonderful meal.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So I don't mean to use a pun, but it's like
hungering for sex.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Oh, I love it.
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
There's a new title for one of your books Ready to
go Hungering for sex.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
All right, you hit it there, thank you.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Now it's interesting to note there's a common
misconception, and that's thatage does not protect you from
sexually transmitted diseases.
I mean, many people think, oh,I'm at such an age, I'm not
going to have to worry aboutherpes or things of that nature.
But in fact, a study that Ilooked at said that over the age
(19:42):
of 55, stds actually havedoubled in the past decade.
What's your advice on thissomewhat touchy subject?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
I have a YouTube video, a 45-minute class, if you
will, called Safer Sex forSeniors with Joan Price.
If you Google Safer Sex forSeniors with Joan Price, you'll
find it, where I go into notonly all of the reasons that we
seniors need to be extra carefulto take precautions, because,
(20:15):
for one, our vaginal walls arethinner, as I said, and it is
more likely that we can receivea sexually transmitted infection
rather than less likely, andalso just because we can't get
pregnant anymore.
Get someone pregnant anymore.
That doesn't have anything todo with STIs, because we think
(20:41):
that we don't need to protectourselves.
That's the reason that thoseSTI rates are rampant in seniors
.
That's exactly the reason.
It isn't that we are twice aslikely to get them, it is that
we are twice as likely to notput protection in place.
We think, oh well, that personlooks like a grandfather and
(21:03):
obviously can't have an STI.
We don't know where thatperson's been or with whom.
And I want to say quicklybecause it's all in the video
and I recommend that you watchit talking to the listeners now,
because there's so much Like wethink whoa, I can't maintain an
erection with a condom on.
(21:25):
Yeah, you can, you can.
I actually show in the videohow to put a condom on a flaccid
penis.
Don't you want to see that?
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Well, I'll tell you what.
Right after we're done withthis interview, I'm going right
to YouTube.
Are you on YouTube?
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Is that it?
Yes, it's a YouTube video SaferSex for Seniors with Joan Price
.
All right, let's make sure weuse the word safer because there
might be something safe sex.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So this is Safer Sex with Joan Price.
All right, let's make sure weuse the word safer, because
there might be something safesex.
So this is safer sex with JoanPrice.
Wonderful, yes.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
And I also recommend and people will say well, we'll
just get tested before we havesex.
We're not assuming thateverybody that you want to have
sex with is a future committedrelationship.
You want to have sex with is afuture committed relationship.
You may just want to have sexwith more than one person, or
(22:19):
with someone you've just met fora fling, and I am absolutely
non-judgmental, I'm notpromoting any particular kind of
sexual activity, but I amallowing for.
Just because we're seniorsdoesn't mean that we just want
to settle down with someone.
If we're dating right now andonly have sex within marriage or
within a committed relationship, we might want to explore our
(22:41):
inner wild child.
We might think someone is forus, but we want to make sure
we're sexually compatiblesexually compatible.
So use safer sex barrierprotection with everyone every
time until you are committed tothat person and ready to be
exclusive.
At that time, go ahead and gettested and then you will know
(23:05):
whether you can stop usingbarrier protection.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
And a special label warning to our seniors who are
listening.
This is not.
We don't necessarily aresuggesting that those of you who
have been in a longrelationship or are married to
each other let the wild childcome out and play around.
We're talking about single.
We're talking about obviouslywe're not encouraging other
(23:32):
things other than let's get withit, you know, and let's make
sure we're safe at what we'redoing do any particular kind of
sexual activity.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
I'm giving you options.
I'm accepting that your option,that you choose, might or might
not be what is expected of you,what even that you used to
(24:01):
expect from yourself.
There are people who arewidowed or divorced and they may
want to have some time to playbefore they settle down again,
or they might just be lookingfor another committed partner.
I'm not labeling anything asbad.
I'm not labeling anything asI'm saying you need to do this
(24:25):
thing, and there are people whoare in committed relationships
that are consensuallynon-monogamous.
So it might be also people whoare in relationships, and I know
I'm going to shock some of yourlisteners because—.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Oh, I don't know.
I think our listeners today aregetting, you know, shall we say
, used to the world around us,accustomed to all of it.
So I think you're doing fine.
World around us, accustomed toall of it, so I think you're
doing fine.
In any case, let's discuss.
(25:00):
Well, I identify this as theelephant in the room and it
faces many senior age lovers.
So whether it's sexualdysfunction, which is obviously
you know seniors having surgeryand things of that nature
oftentimes leads to sexualdysfunction.
Or, of course, there are otherchallenges, but I noted in a
study, which was somewhatconcerning, that those who find
challenges in their sexualrelationships only 17% of older
(25:26):
adults just only 17%, amazingactually seek help from their
doctor.
So do you think this is due toembarrassment or if?
Whether it is or not, what sortof help is available and what
do you recommend?
Speaker 3 (25:40):
I love that you're bringing this up because it's a
very, very important issue.
Seniors don't bring it up witha doctor for a few reasons.
One is they're embarrassed.
It up with the doctor for a fewreasons.
One is they're embarrassed.
They think that well, they'regoing to be told.
(26:01):
Well, you're old, what do you?
Expect they're looking at adoctor who may be the age of
their grandchild.
Really Talk about sex with thisperson.
Also, they're rushed in anappointment.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Seven minutes the average appointment.
Oh my gosh, I thought it was 15.
That's down to seven.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Oh, seven.
And so they're dealing with aspecific thing they came in for
and no room for anything else.
Also, they're waiting for thedoctors to bring it up.
And then I've given talks todoctors and it's also in the
study that one of the studiesthat you're referencing that
doctors will not bring it upbecause they think it's invasive
(26:37):
of the patient's privacy.
And they figure well, if itwere an issue, they'll bring it
up, which we don't.
You see, we're in an impasse.
And the other thing is they maynot even feel comfortable about
talking about sex and aging.
They may have had no trainingin that, oh my gosh.
(26:57):
So what do we do?
Well, I have developed what Icall my medical mantra that
seniors can use to kind of putdoctors on the spot and make
sure they answer the question.
May I share that with you andyour audience.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Oh please, I'm anxious to hear it.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Okay, I teach whenever I give a talk.
I teach my audiences to repeatthis after me until they have it
memorized.
I'll tell it to you and thenI'll tell it to you slowly.
Doctor, my sexuality isimportant to me.
Here is what is interferingwith my pleasure.
Can we run the tests and findout what's going on?
And if you can't help me,please refer me to someone who
(27:43):
can.
Excellent question.
Now, when I say let's run thetests, now when I say let's run
the test, often sexualdysfunction whether it is that
we can't get aroused or can'tget erect, or no matter how long
we engage in pleasurable sex,we can't reach orgasm.
This can be the first sign of abig medical issue.
(28:07):
It's the canary in the coalmine and your audience is old
enough to know that phrase.
Younger people don't, and Ihave to explain it.
But it is the first sign thatsomething is wrong and we need
to find out.
Might it be a first sign ofheart disease, of diabetes, of a
(28:27):
neurological issue?
And if we just dismiss it aswell, what do you expect?
You're old, or if you fail tobring it up, you might find
later that you have a medicalcondition that is that much
harder to treat because wedidn't catch it early.
This is so important.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
What you're really saying is don't wait for your
doctor to initiate it.
It's up to you to be proactive.
If you have a challenge, beproactive with your doctor.
Bring the question up, put yourdoctor on the spot.
Even if he only gives you sevenminutes, you can get that extra
30 seconds from his answer.
Boy, I think you're right onthe button 100%.
(29:12):
I mean, you're just a wealth ofinformation, and what it boils
down to is talking about seniorintimacy and ageless sex.
Obviously, on this podcast, wehave time restrictions, so I
want to thank you, joan, forimparting such enlightening
information.
I mean, you just, I know wejust more or less hit the
(29:34):
surface of all of this.
I can see there's so much moreyour books, for example and I
can, just I know that you havemore than just these two, but
Naked at Our Age, of course.
Also, sex After Grief I thinkthat's your latest book, if I'm
right.
Sex After Grief I think that'syour latest book, if I'm right.
Navigating your Sexuality AfterLosing your Beloved yes, that's
(29:55):
the most recent book, isn't?
Speaker 3 (29:57):
it.
That's the most recent book,the Ultimate Guide to Sex After
50.
Before that, the award-winning,as you said, Naked at Our Age,
talking out loud about seniorsex.
My first book, which is a spicymemoir, which I wrote at the
young age of 61.
I'm 81 now.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Better, than I ever.
Oh, you're kidding, 81 yearsold.
Yeah, 81,.
Yes, and I was going to guess39.
You know, some people doremember Jack Benny, but in any
case, Certainly do 39 forever.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
No, I love that I'm aging.
I almost died at 35 in anautomobile accident.
I love that I'm aging.
I almost died at 35 in anautomobile accident.
I love every hour of aging.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
So make the best of it and have great sex at the
same time right, absolutely.
I want to thank you again, Joan.
We're going to have all thisinformation, of course, on our
website and we're going to berepeating it again.
But Joan Price, I want to thankyou so much.
It's joanpricecom that again,but Joan.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Price.
I want to thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
It's joanpricecom.
That's your website.
We're going to repeat it again,but I'm going to urge our
audience not just to look forthese books, but also come to
our website, check out, becausewe'll have your newsletter
access there, plus, obviously,your blog.
So I'm going to encourage youraudience because I know you have
so much more to offer and thankyou.
You have so much more to offerand thank you.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
Thank you so much.
This has been a pleasure.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
It's our pleasure.
I'm going to be right back totell you about six healthy foods
to help boost your sex life.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
You can learn more about Joan Price and her
award-winning books Naked at OurAge and Sex After Grief
Navigating your Sexuality AfterLosing your Beloved, by visiting
JoanPricecom.
But you can also find thisinformation, along with other
great podcasts, by goingdirectly to our website
(31:44):
JamesPolakoffcom.
That's James P-O-L-A-K-O-F dotcom.
Again, that's James Polakoffdot com.
Also, you can discover threeexcellent chapters on intimacy
in our very own Dr JimPolakoff's new book Live Healthy
Longer with Dr Jim Remember youneed to add with Dr Jim to the
(32:05):
title to find it easily onAmazon.
Again, that's Live HealthyLonger with Dr Jim Plus you can
find a series of other terrificbooks and reviews on Amazon.
To make it all easier, visitjamespolikoffcom.
Now back to Dr Jim.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Again, my thanks to Joan Price for an important
enlightenment on agelesssexuality.
So, as promised, now let's turnto the six foods that are
packed with nutrients and canperk up your libido.
We're going to begin withoysters.
Why?
Because they're high in zinc,which increases blood flow to
(32:43):
your sex organs, and if you'renot eating pink flesh fish twice
a week, you might be missingout on some very important
benefits.
Fish such as salmon, tuna,halibut, even sardines, contain
important omega-3s in keepingyour sex life, as well as body,
(33:03):
healthy.
Nuts and seeds like walnuts,are also rich in omega-3s.
Number four are apples.
You've heard the saying anapple a day keeps the doctor
away, but it can also reducehigh blood pressure, which can
lead to sexual dysfunction.
So apples are a good choice.
And are you aware that beetsyes, beets are not only rich in
(33:28):
antioxidants but high innitrates, and that can actually
help boost your sex life.
Finally, food number six andladies are going to love this
red wine.
A study involving women foundthat regular, moderate intake of
red wine is linked to highersexual desire, lubrication and
(33:50):
overall sexual function.
So there's much more to whatI've said about foods that can
help to boost your sex life.
So it's important you read mylatest blog, which provides far
more details.
All you need to do is come tomy website, jamespolikoffcom,
and click on blogs Plus, asmentioned earlier.
(34:12):
Please don't forget to checkout my latest book, live Healthy
Longer with Dr Jim.
It contains three excellentchapters on intimacy and great
sex for older adults.
You can find out where to buythat on my website or just go
straight to Amazoncom.
This is Dr Jim Polakoff, and Iwant to thank you once again for
(34:36):
listening and remember that anew episode of Live Healthy
Longer is available each andevery Wednesday on our website
or wherever you listen topodcasts.
In the meantime, I want to wishyou health and happiness, as
well as intimacy and a great sexlife.
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