Part 3 of 4 in a series, "The Joy in Breaking the Silence" explores the possibilities available when one leans into and even embraces what they feel called to speak up and say or do.
Part 1 Episode #196 Why We Don't Speak Up
Part 2 Episode #199 The Cost of Keeping Quiet
Referenced in the episode: blog post "Pride is the Opposite of Shame," by Ben Schilaty (https://benschilaty.blogspot.com/2019/07/)
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Episode Transcript
Welcome to living beyond the shadow of doubt.
Today's episode is Part 3 in a series of four.
Part 1 was episode 196, Why we don't speak up.
Part 2, Episode 199 was the costof keeping quiet.
Today, episode 204 is the joy ofbreaking the silence.
(00:24):
How timely was the release of this episode at the beginning of
June, which course is Pride Month?
If there's ever a time to think about raising your voice,
especially for others who may not have as much privilege as
you, June is a good time to reflect on that.
(00:56):
I'm Megan Skidmore. For 2 1/2 years I have been
talking about evolving faith journeys.
I started to tire of the heaviness of this focus.
I had the clear message come through.
It is time for Beyond the Shadowof Doubt podcast to evolve into
Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt podcast with the same
vulnerability and unapologetic authenticity.
(01:16):
I will be focusing on the joy inthis journey, the life and the
living that comes on the other side of maybe on the other side
of what's possible. I want to talk about claiming
spiritual sovereignty and becoming your own captain of
your vessel. Let's celebrate releasing what
no longer aligns for you and connecting with your higher
power and honor expanding your energy field to make room for
(01:38):
all things new. Mark your calendars and set your
reminder. I am hosting First Friday's free
coaching. I hold it on the first Friday of
the month. You can come and experience what
it's like to be coached or watchsomeone else be coached.
(02:01):
I'm especially excited to share some of what I'm learning in
Emotional Alchemy Certification with Master Coach Sarah Trapkis.
We'll talk a little bit more about what I've addressed in
today's episode, and perhaps even unearth some of the
hindrances or things getting in the way of you speaking up.
(02:22):
Use the link to register in order to get the unique Zoom
link. They change each month for
privacy reasons. See you soon.
Once you have an inkling or a knowing of what you have been
(02:47):
called to say or what you've been called to do, it doesn't
mean it comes naturally. It also doesn't mean you
automatically know how to do thething or say the thing either.
And for sure, it doesn't mean you're not going to feel
uncomfortable. And sometimes you'll even feel a
lot of discomfort as you navigate this journey of
(03:09):
following that inkling or following that knowing and take
the forks in the road that you feel called to take.
That is where I come in. I support folks who are on a
path such as this. It's time to unlock your voice
and own it with confidence, withclarity, and from a grounded
(03:31):
place, knowing you are followingthe pathway that is meant for
you that God or the divine or the universe has called you to.
Your brain is so smart and knowshow to come up with all of the
excuses and once it has convinced you that something is
true, even if it isn't, the brain is so efficient and
(03:52):
masterful at finding evidence for whatever the thing was,
almost to a fault as they say. The eye sees what the mind looks
for and that's OK. That is what your brain's job
is. You could say some people call
it the lizard brain. That's pretty rough terms.
The lizard brain is a term that just describes that primitive or
(04:16):
instinctive part of the brain. This is the area associated with
basic survival, like fight or flight responses, and where our
emotions are produced or reactions occur.
There's also another part of thebrain that has the ability to
take the reins and say, wait a minute, not so fast.
(04:38):
I'm not so sure about fill in the blank.
The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that's ready
to ask, is that really true and how do you know or what else
could be true? The prefrontal cortex is the
part of the brain that engages reasoning, critical thinking,
evaluation, and decision making skills.
(05:02):
It's higher level thinking that with practice and implement, the
pause between stimulus and response.
This is where our power lies. We tend to listen less to that
voice of the prefrontal cortex, the voice of reason, because it
may be scarier or might require more of us and doing or saying
(05:26):
things that will take us way outof our comfort zones.
However, when you are able to connect with your inner knowing,
that divinity within you that iswithin each of us, then all the
noise outside of you begins to fall away.
The distractions that surround you, the static, the fuzz,
(05:47):
whatever that's prompting, thoughts of incapability or why
me, I could never do this, and so on.
Those begin to dissolve. Emotional alchemy is modality
that I am learning and have experienced personally.
That is a way I have been able to directly, we could say,
(06:07):
confront these big emotions, seethem, hold them, learn from
them, and then metabolize them, move through them and alchemize
them into something with a greater purpose, more
productive, something with purpose and momentum and belief
(06:28):
behind it. This is a process that we can
repeat as many times as needed because emotions are always
going to come up. I share an excerpt from a blog
post written by my friend Ben Shalati, a gay man of
conservative Christian faith, the LDS faith, and how he came
(06:50):
to alchemize feelings of shame related to his identity.
He says I remember times in my 20s when I would have been
relieved if I had been diagnosedwith terminal cancer.
I would have been free of same sex attraction.
My suffering would be over and Icould die a hero.
Being dead and straight was a better option than being alive
(07:11):
and gay. That's what shame did to me.
It made me want to be dead. Overcoming that shame took
years. The antonyms of pride.
Depression, gloom, melancholy were often present in my life
whenever I thought about dating,marriage or my future.
I don't feel those feelings anymore when I think about my
sexuality. The shame is gone.
(07:31):
I now accept my sexual orientation as something that I
couldn't change. It's a part of me and I want to
live for a very long time. My outlook has completely
shifted from wanting to be dead to wanting to live a long, full
life. And isn't that something worth
celebrating? He goes on towards the end.
The way I show my pride is by telling my story.
(07:54):
I show my pride by allowing myself to be seen.
I show my pride by inviting others to walk in my shoes.
And if the word pride makes you uncomfortable, here are some
synonyms that might be easier torelate to.
Dignity, self respect and honor.Gay dignity means that I am
comfortable being myself around others.
(08:16):
Gay self respect means that I welcome all parts of me as
important ingredients to who I am.
Gay honor means that I no longerwant to die because of my
orientation. He finishes.
June is a healing celebratory month for so many people.
I hope that we can celebrate ourlives and who we are and who we
(08:37):
want to become throughout the year.
I hope that everyone, every person, especially those who
have been previously weighed down by shame, feel an
overwhelming sense of dignity, self respect, and honor.
End Quote. Ben illustrates so well this
idea of stepping into our truth and owning it and sharing it.
(08:59):
And I have learned that by me sharing my truth, my story, it's
an unspoken invitation for others to share theirs.
They know that I'm a safe space,and so I look for opportunities
to share. There's so much joy in breaking
your silence. There's so much healing and
breaking your silence. There is so much connection,
(09:23):
understanding and perspective shifts on a fundamental level to
be experienced when we share ourstories, when we share our
truth, when we own who we are, what our message is, what we
came here to say, what we came here to do.
Thank you so much for being herewith me.
(09:44):
Until next time. Writer, teacher, author, Mormon
scholar and founder of Dialogue Journal Eugene England said my
faith encourages my curiosity and awe.
It thrusts me out into relationship with all creation
and encourages me to enter into dialogue.
As a proud member of the Dialogue Podcast Network, my
(10:06):
hope is that Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt podcast is an
extension of that vision. Visit meganskidmorecoaching.com
to find this podcast and additional free resources,
including the link for a complimentary coaching session.
Follow me on Facebook or Instagram for more or to send me
(10:29):
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Please follow, review and share with a friend.
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