March 13, 2024 • 13 mins
Feeling Stuck? Uncover the Secret Weapon That Could Transform Your Life (and Your Relationship)
Life throws us curveballs. Sometimes, we get stuck carrying the weight of past choices, even holding ourselves back from truly connecting with the people we love. But what if there was a way to break free and unlock a new level of growth and happiness?
In this episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast, we (Jason & Jana) dive deep into the transformative power of radical gratitude. We share a powerful personal story about how a simple shift in perspective during a virtual church service completely transformed our understanding of forgiveness.
Here's what you'll discover:
- Why self-forgiveness might not be the key: We explore the concept of radical gratitude as an alternative to self-forgiveness, helping you reframe past experiences as stepping stones for growth.
- The unexpected spark that ignited a journey: We reveal the pivotal moment during a church service where Pastor Scott Chevalier's question about forgiveness led us down a path of radical self-acceptance.
- Embracing the "extra" in you: Learn to appreciate the unique layers of experiences and challenges that make you, you. These are not burdens, but opportunities for growth.
- The power of "for us," not "to us": Shift your perspective and see how life's challenges can actually be working in your favor, propelling you towards a brighter future.
- Creating the life you crave: We'll equip you with the tools to take control of your reactions and consciously design the reality you desire.
This episode is a powerful call to action for anyone seeking to:
- Heal from past hurts and regrets
- Deepen connections with loved ones
- Break free from self-doubt and limitations
- Embrace a growth mindset
- Live a life filled with gratitude and joy
Ready to stop feeling stuck and start living lucky? Tune in and discover the power of radical gratitude!
P.S. Don't forget to join our Living Lucky® community!
Self-forgiveness, Radical Gratitude, Personal Growth, Relationships, Forgiveness, Mindset, Gratitude, Healing, Happiness, Self-compassion, how to practice radical grat
For mind-blowing inspirational content, join us on Living Lucky TV and on Living Lucky TV Live where you become part of the show at EtherealTV.net
Thanks for joining us.
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!!! SEND US A MESSAGE: Are you ready to unlock your path to a more inspired life where you're Living Lucky®? Email me directly and let's chart your course toward realizing your dreams and creating a life that fills you with daily inspiration.
Email Jason Shelfer HERE
The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.
*Previously Recorded
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jana Shelfer (00:00):
Are you ready to create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and start LivingLucky®.
Jason Shelfer (00:14):
Good morning, I'm Jana and we are Living Lucky®
you are too because you arelistening to the Living Lucky®
Podcast with Jason
Jana Shelfer (00:24):
It sounds like we've practiced that but we have
it.
We've just done it enough times.
Now.
We're talking about passionatecompassion, passionate
forgiveness, forgiveness,passionate forgiveness.
That would be kind of a funthing.
Jason Shelfer (00:39):
Let's practice some of that.
Back it up.
Shopper.
I won't go there this morningbecause I need some passionate
forgiveness.
Jana Shelfer (00:49):
Okay, jason and I, we often surround ourselves
with cohorts, other coaches,colleagues, people who are mind
leaders, people who are in therealm of self-development, and
the topic of compassionateforgiveness has been one that
has caused a little spark forJason and I, and here's why
(01:15):
because when okay.
So according to some others,some other philosophies,
compassionate forgiveness is astep in the transcending
experience or theself-development world there's
always a self-forgivingcomponent.
Jason Shelfer (01:35):
Yeah, and it's, and it seems to be a really big
one.
And I really operate from thestandpoint of we're all doing
the best we can with what wehave at the time and it's like,
from the mental capacity thatI've got, the emotional capacity
that I've got and the physicalcapacity I've got, the spiritual
capacity I've got, I'm showingup the best I can in that moment
(01:59):
.
So it's a it's.
It's one of those things whereit's like I don't feel like I
should beat my younger self up,so yesterday's self up for
something that I gainedawareness of today, you know now
that we're thinking about itokay, so I get forgiveness isn't
beating yourself up.
Jana Shelfer (02:19):
I do remember a specific day where I had an aha
moment of forgiving myself and Idon't.
I'll refresh your memory andsee if you remember it as well.
We were right in the middle ofthe.
Actually, the pandemic had juststarted and Jason and I had
(02:39):
started volunteering, greetingfor our church online Do you
remember this?
And the topic that day wasforgiveness, and I remember
Scott Chevalier even saidafterwards, maybe in the chat he
says this in the chat and Jasonand I are monitoring the chat
(03:00):
online For thousands of people,for thousands and thousands of
people.
and I remember Scott Chevaliersays is there anyone you need to
forgive, maybe even yourself?
And I remember having thisalmost burst out of tears, do
(03:21):
you remember that?
And I actually called Scottafter we had closed the chat out
and church was over.
I called Scott and he was oneof the pastors at the time and I
remember having a conversationwith him saying I didn't even
know I needed to forgive myselfand I went into things that I
(03:45):
mean were really, really oldwe're talking 30 years old.
But I remember the one thing Isaid to him as I forgive myself
for getting into the car, I wasin a car accident at age 15 and
I remember saying I forgivemyself for getting into that car
and I didn't know there wasgonna be an accident.
(04:05):
You know what I'm saying, butfor some reason I had held some
sort of responsibility so therewas a block inside of.
if I had not gotten into thatcar Then I wouldn't be paralyzed
right now and I wouldn't havecaused so much pain and
suffering for my family and mycommunity and my town.
(04:29):
And and even today, you know,it feels like every time we get
into the car you have to put mychair in the Back of the truck
and it feels like I've caused usa lot of extra.
Whenever we go anywhere, isthere's extra in realizing is
this accessible, is this?
And I sometimes feel like I amA little bit of a burden to
(04:55):
those that love and care for mewe are, we are extra, that's,
that's that's how God created us.
Jason Shelfer (05:05):
Were just extra my perception, because one of
the other things is you are, youhave the gratitude of Our
relationship and that if you hadnot been in the relationship or
in a wheelchair, would we havethe type of bond we have I don't
think so it's.
It's because I never reallythought about it because I never
(05:25):
when I imagine myself as a kidGetting married, which I don't
know that I really ever had thatright there are times where I
was like, yeah, I'm gonna findthat that perfect woman and you
never.
I never pictured her in my mindin a wheelchair.
Jana Shelfer (05:41):
Yeah, I know cuz you were picturing sandy from
grease.
Jason Shelfer (05:47):
And then we met and hung out and I was like, and
that point when we met, I saidI never, I'm never gonna get
married yeah, I know that was mywhole mindset.
Mindset was I'm so happy andcontent on my own.
I am not gonna ever get marriedand we spent several weeks
(06:07):
together and I was like I neverwant to be without this right
and I get that too, okay.
Jana Shelfer (06:14):
So you just brought up a really important
point that I am going to bridgethis conversation.
So some people call itcompassionate forgiveness.
I think jason and I took thatforgiveness and we took it a
step further and we actuallyreframed it in our minds To
(06:37):
being grateful for it, becauseand here's why when you forgive
yourself, there is animplication.
Jason Shelfer (06:47):
I call it a veil.
It's like a veil of that youdid something wrong or that
there's yes, there's something,and it's probably comes from a
religious type teaching that wepicked up somewhere and it might
not even deal with.
Jana Shelfer (07:05):
forgiveness may just mean letting go and and
that's what I was gonna say ismaybe you and I are putting a
little bit of a connotation onwhat we're giving ourselves, or
saying sorry for giving someoneelse it's like is it just
letting go or is it?
Jason Shelfer (07:22):
Is it saying you did this to me, yeah, and I'm
gonna not accept it like youtried to give it.
I'm not accepting it anymore.
Jana Shelfer (07:33):
I'm not holding on to this anymore so let me let
me just clarify and give you allthe details of this
conversation.
Once the people that we're withhave all insisted that self
forgiveness is part of the selfdevelopment process, jason and I
, we stepped in and said wedon't like to call it self
(07:56):
forgiveness, we like to call itradical gratitude.
I think we're talking about thesame thing.
Jason Shelfer (08:03):
I think it is, and it's very much like you say
often if we get into an argumentor we get into some of the
different perspectives, it comesdown to the different side of
the same coin.
Jana Shelfer (08:14):
And I think the reason that I call it radical
gratitude is because I showed upthe best that I could in my
entire life.
At every minute of every day Ireally have, I feel that, you
know, there's times where IWould have liked to have been
better and there's also timeswhen I am so proud that I was as
(08:41):
good as I was, if that makessense.
So it's a.
Life is an up and down.
We have come to thatrealization.
Life is An up and down and wecan't always control our outside
circumstances, but we cancontrol the way we react.
And when I say, when I hearself forgiveness and I'm sorry
(09:06):
to myself, it for me there is animplies that I Wasn't good
enough and I never want to feelthat way and the other part of
that is is one of the thingsthat we really heavily subscribe
to is that life is alwaysworking in your favor.
(09:26):
Yes, all your life experiencelike here, I've got goosebumps
because I firmly believe thateverything that happens happens
For us, and when we just thatawareness even the things that
we don't always choose or we,you know, would have liked to
have Unfolded in a different way, it is always working in our
(09:48):
favor.
Jason Shelfer (09:48):
makes us better.
And this is one of thosemoments where you kind of walked
up to the window.
The shades are drawn and youpeek out and now you see, so
that you, you're having thisawareness and this, this opening
, so that you can see thedifference.
And when you see thatdifference, then you get to be
grateful for that awareness,instead of Having compassionate
(10:11):
forgiveness for who you wereyesterday yes, what you did
yesterday or how you respondedyesterday or reacted yesterday.
Now I get it.
Depending on your definition offorgiveness, maybe it is
forgiveness for you and that'sokay.
We.
I like to subscribe to Come thisradical gratitude because to me
(10:33):
that feels so much moreexponentially forward.
Jana Shelfer (10:36):
It does for me to, and it feels like you're
lifting your vibration.
You're not only reframing it inyour mind, but you are lifting
your vibration and saying thisis part of who I am and I'm
proud of it, training your brainto look for the growth, not for
the mistake.
Jason Shelfer (10:58):
Yes, and that, to me, is the distinction,
distinction.
Jana Shelfer (11:02):
And that's what makes us great, jason, is
because we did this.
We did this.
Jason Shelfer (11:10):
In a.
Well, you had a ten X on thisthree years ago.
Three years and I guess, andthat was after eight years of
just kind of really diving intoyour life and saying what are
the things that I previouslythought happened to me that may
have happened for me?
Jana Shelfer (11:26):
They happen for me , life is happening for me, and
it is still occasionally getback and watch your ten X.
If you haven't watched it yet,you really need to go on YouTube
and watch it.
And a shell for radicalgratitude.
Leave me a comment and I willreply.
Jason Shelfer (11:48):
Yes okay.
Jana Shelfer (11:49):
So I'm gonna stand by our Our philosophy that
everything in our life happensfor a reason and our challenges
make us grow.
They make us grow and we arecreating our reality.
Even the challenges in yourlife.
(12:10):
You are creating those, and Imean there's many, many tools of
how you can unfold and startconsciously creating the life
that you want.
So if there is a change in yourlife, you can create it.
You don't need toCompassionally forgive yourself.
(12:31):
Let's be grateful that it iswhat it is and that we are aware
of what's happening.
Amen all right, I'm gonna end itright there.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
Please have a beautiful day,keep living lucky bye, bye.
If the idea of Living Lucky®appeals to you, visit us at www.
(12:54):
Living Lucky.
com.
Are you ready to create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and start LivingLucky®.
Jason Shelfer (00:14):
Good morning, I'm Jana and we are Living Lucky®
you are too because you arelistening to the Living Lucky®
Podcast with Jason
Jana Shelfer (00:24):
It sounds like we've practiced that but we have
it.
We've just done it enough times.
Now.
We're talking about passionatecompassion, passionate
forgiveness, forgiveness,passionate forgiveness.
That would be kind of a funthing.
Jason Shelfer (00:39):
Let's practice some of that.
Back it up.
Shopper.
I won't go there this morningbecause I need some passionate
forgiveness.
Jana Shelfer (00:49):
Okay, jason and I, we often surround ourselves
with cohorts, other coaches,colleagues, people who are mind
leaders, people who are in therealm of self-development, and
the topic of compassionateforgiveness has been one that
has caused a little spark forJason and I, and here's why
(01:15):
because when okay.
So according to some others,some other philosophies,
compassionate forgiveness is astep in the transcending
experience or theself-development world there's
always a self-forgivingcomponent.
Jason Shelfer (01:35):
Yeah, and it's, and it seems to be a really big
one.
And I really operate from thestandpoint of we're all doing
the best we can with what wehave at the time and it's like,
from the mental capacity thatI've got, the emotional capacity
that I've got and the physicalcapacity I've got, the spiritual
capacity I've got, I'm showingup the best I can in that moment
(01:59):
.
So it's a it's.
It's one of those things whereit's like I don't feel like I
should beat my younger self up,so yesterday's self up for
something that I gainedawareness of today, you know now
that we're thinking about itokay, so I get forgiveness isn't
beating yourself up.
Jana Shelfer (02:19):
I do remember a specific day where I had an aha
moment of forgiving myself and Idon't.
I'll refresh your memory andsee if you remember it as well.
We were right in the middle ofthe.
Actually, the pandemic had juststarted and Jason and I had
(02:39):
started volunteering, greetingfor our church online Do you
remember this?
And the topic that day wasforgiveness, and I remember
Scott Chevalier even saidafterwards, maybe in the chat he
says this in the chat and Jasonand I are monitoring the chat
(03:00):
online For thousands of people,for thousands and thousands of
people.
and I remember Scott Chevaliersays is there anyone you need to
forgive, maybe even yourself?
And I remember having thisalmost burst out of tears, do
(03:21):
you remember that?
And I actually called Scottafter we had closed the chat out
and church was over.
I called Scott and he was oneof the pastors at the time and I
remember having a conversationwith him saying I didn't even
know I needed to forgive myselfand I went into things that I
(03:45):
mean were really, really oldwe're talking 30 years old.
But I remember the one thing Isaid to him as I forgive myself
for getting into the car, I wasin a car accident at age 15 and
I remember saying I forgivemyself for getting into that car
and I didn't know there wasgonna be an accident.
(04:05):
You know what I'm saying, butfor some reason I had held some
sort of responsibility so therewas a block inside of.
if I had not gotten into thatcar Then I wouldn't be paralyzed
right now and I wouldn't havecaused so much pain and
suffering for my family and mycommunity and my town.
(04:29):
And and even today, you know,it feels like every time we get
into the car you have to put mychair in the Back of the truck
and it feels like I've caused usa lot of extra.
Whenever we go anywhere, isthere's extra in realizing is
this accessible, is this?
And I sometimes feel like I amA little bit of a burden to
(04:55):
those that love and care for mewe are, we are extra, that's,
that's that's how God created us.
Jason Shelfer (05:05):
Were just extra my perception, because one of
the other things is you are, youhave the gratitude of Our
relationship and that if you hadnot been in the relationship or
in a wheelchair, would we havethe type of bond we have I don't
think so it's.
It's because I never reallythought about it because I never
(05:25):
when I imagine myself as a kidGetting married, which I don't
know that I really ever had thatright there are times where I
was like, yeah, I'm gonna findthat that perfect woman and you
never.
I never pictured her in my mindin a wheelchair.
Jana Shelfer (05:41):
Yeah, I know cuz you were picturing sandy from
grease.
Jason Shelfer (05:47):
And then we met and hung out and I was like, and
that point when we met, I saidI never, I'm never gonna get
married yeah, I know that was mywhole mindset.
Mindset was I'm so happy andcontent on my own.
I am not gonna ever get marriedand we spent several weeks
(06:07):
together and I was like I neverwant to be without this right
and I get that too, okay.
Jana Shelfer (06:14):
So you just brought up a really important
point that I am going to bridgethis conversation.
So some people call itcompassionate forgiveness.
I think jason and I took thatforgiveness and we took it a
step further and we actuallyreframed it in our minds To
(06:37):
being grateful for it, becauseand here's why when you forgive
yourself, there is animplication.
Jason Shelfer (06:47):
I call it a veil.
It's like a veil of that youdid something wrong or that
there's yes, there's something,and it's probably comes from a
religious type teaching that wepicked up somewhere and it might
not even deal with.
Jana Shelfer (07:05):
forgiveness may just mean letting go and and
that's what I was gonna say ismaybe you and I are putting a
little bit of a connotation onwhat we're giving ourselves, or
saying sorry for giving someoneelse it's like is it just
letting go or is it?
Jason Shelfer (07:22):
Is it saying you did this to me, yeah, and I'm
gonna not accept it like youtried to give it.
I'm not accepting it anymore.
Jana Shelfer (07:33):
I'm not holding on to this anymore so let me let
me just clarify and give you allthe details of this
conversation.
Once the people that we're withhave all insisted that self
forgiveness is part of the selfdevelopment process, jason and I
, we stepped in and said wedon't like to call it self
(07:56):
forgiveness, we like to call itradical gratitude.
I think we're talking about thesame thing.
Jason Shelfer (08:03):
I think it is, and it's very much like you say
often if we get into an argumentor we get into some of the
different perspectives, it comesdown to the different side of
the same coin.
Jana Shelfer (08:14):
And I think the reason that I call it radical
gratitude is because I showed upthe best that I could in my
entire life.
At every minute of every day Ireally have, I feel that, you
know, there's times where IWould have liked to have been
better and there's also timeswhen I am so proud that I was as
(08:41):
good as I was, if that makessense.
So it's a.
Life is an up and down.
We have come to thatrealization.
Life is An up and down and wecan't always control our outside
circumstances, but we cancontrol the way we react.
And when I say, when I hearself forgiveness and I'm sorry
(09:06):
to myself, it for me there is animplies that I Wasn't good
enough and I never want to feelthat way and the other part of
that is is one of the thingsthat we really heavily subscribe
to is that life is alwaysworking in your favor.
(09:26):
Yes, all your life experiencelike here, I've got goosebumps
because I firmly believe thateverything that happens happens
For us, and when we just thatawareness even the things that
we don't always choose or we,you know, would have liked to
have Unfolded in a different way, it is always working in our
(09:48):
favor.
Jason Shelfer (09:48):
makes us better.
And this is one of thosemoments where you kind of walked
up to the window.
The shades are drawn and youpeek out and now you see, so
that you, you're having thisawareness and this, this opening
, so that you can see thedifference.
And when you see thatdifference, then you get to be
grateful for that awareness,instead of Having compassionate
(10:11):
forgiveness for who you wereyesterday yes, what you did
yesterday or how you respondedyesterday or reacted yesterday.
Now I get it.
Depending on your definition offorgiveness, maybe it is
forgiveness for you and that'sokay.
We.
I like to subscribe to Come thisradical gratitude because to me
(10:33):
that feels so much moreexponentially forward.
Jana Shelfer (10:36):
It does for me to, and it feels like you're
lifting your vibration.
You're not only reframing it inyour mind, but you are lifting
your vibration and saying thisis part of who I am and I'm
proud of it, training your brainto look for the growth, not for
the mistake.
Jason Shelfer (10:58):
Yes, and that, to me, is the distinction,
distinction.
Jana Shelfer (11:02):
And that's what makes us great, jason, is
because we did this.
We did this.
Jason Shelfer (11:10):
In a.
Well, you had a ten X on thisthree years ago.
Three years and I guess, andthat was after eight years of
just kind of really diving intoyour life and saying what are
the things that I previouslythought happened to me that may
have happened for me?
Jana Shelfer (11:26):
They happen for me , life is happening for me, and
it is still occasionally getback and watch your ten X.
If you haven't watched it yet,you really need to go on YouTube
and watch it.
And a shell for radicalgratitude.
Leave me a comment and I willreply.
Jason Shelfer (11:48):
Yes okay.
Jana Shelfer (11:49):
So I'm gonna stand by our Our philosophy that
everything in our life happensfor a reason and our challenges
make us grow.
They make us grow and we arecreating our reality.
Even the challenges in yourlife.
(12:10):
You are creating those, and Imean there's many, many tools of
how you can unfold and startconsciously creating the life
that you want.
So if there is a change in yourlife, you can create it.
You don't need toCompassionally forgive yourself.
(12:31):
Let's be grateful that it iswhat it is and that we are aware
of what's happening.
Amen all right, I'm gonna end itright there.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
Please have a beautiful day,keep living lucky bye, bye.
If the idea of Living Lucky®appeals to you, visit us at www.
(12:54):
Living Lucky.
com.
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