January 14, 2021 • 23 mins
This week is about how planning and spontaneity are really the best of buds!
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Episode Transcript
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Matt Boettger (00:00):
The fact of the matter is I am a planner.
And a lot of times, oftentimes Iget these questions.
Why be so planned out?
Do you have any fun in yourlife?
Do you want to have a littleroom for spontaneity?
I get this all the time becauseI'm obsessed with planning.
And my question typically backis something like this.
(00:20):
Out of curiosity, how do you seespontaneity and planning as
opposed to each other?
In this episode, I'm gonna showyou exactly how planning is not
opposed to spontaneity.
In fact, planning, elevatesspontaneity, but you have to
plan well and, and plan in aparticular way.
So hold it to the very end whereI give you a tip that is rock
(00:41):
solid, that my clients love,that helped to give them really
a solid planning in their lives.
Get control in their lives.
Without the sense of feeling asif you are locked into your day.
That there is room for newnessmoments, spontaneity.
So let's get going.
Um, Are you living the most reallife possible?
(01:07):
I ask myself this question allthe time.
Most of the time, the answer is,I just don't know.
But sometimes the answer isdefinitely not.
This is why I have this podcast.
I'm Matt Boettger and welcome tothe show.
Two small things.
If you get a chance, pleaseleave a review on Apple podcasts
and also check out my website,live in the real.com where I
(01:29):
offer lots of resources in howto live the most real life
possible.
Now on with the show.
Welcome to episode 17, where wetalk about planning and why it's
important and why it doesn'tremove the spontaneity the
lightness of your life.
If you do it the right way, andI'm going to give you a tip at
the very end, that will changeyour life and change the way you
(01:51):
plan that leaves room well,gives you control but also
leaves room for the things thatcome at the last minute.
But I wanna start with a story.
This happened about, I don'tknow if it was a first year into
our marriage or the second year,but we were constantly under the
grind.
There was so much stuff going inour life.
There was so many things that wehad to tackle.
We felt like every single day,our lives were just constantly
(02:13):
busy now, full disclosure.
I think that part of that wasbecause of me, my planning and
my way of planning was gettingin the way of actually living
life.
And so there needed to be achange.
And so I proposed this.
We weren't planning our weeks.
We're just allowing the world tohappen to us.
And every day there were newthings, new obligations, new
urgencies that were taking usaway from having fun.
(02:35):
So I said, every Sunday.
Now we didn't have kids yet.
So it's a whole different ballgame.
We're newlyweds, every Sunday,let's plan the next three weeks
out.
Pretty much every day.
We had work there.
Those things took up time, butour weekends were planned down
and we would alternate who haddate night or date day.
So maybe the first one weekendit's me.
And that could weekend.
This is my wife.
(02:56):
And we did this for probably sixmonths and our life was
completely different.
All of a sudden we looked backand there were moments in our
life that were just really fun.
There were fun to reminisceabout and no longer were we
stuck in this cycle everySaturday, Sunday, grinding out
all these random tasks to dothings that didn't give us life.
(03:19):
But rather now we can look back.
And say, man, you were that wewent on that bike ride, went to
the zoo.
We had that incredible dinner atthis restaurant.
We had a lot more things toreflect upon.
And that was a big aha momentthat planning does not remove
spontaneity.
It actually elevates it.
It gives spontaneity room to begenuinely free.
(03:40):
I want to talk about that, howthat happened.
So now let's just take a quicklook at how spontaneity comes in
our life.
There's really two ways.
The first one is when a lastminute opportunity comes our
way, right.
Something just arises out ofnowhere and we already have
nothing to do.
And so we're like, Hey, let's dothis thing.
Let's roll.
The other way.
Is that, Hey, a last-minutething comes your way.
(04:02):
A new opportunity is presentedto you, but you already have
something planned, right?
Those are the two things thatcome.
This is how sparsity comes inour life.
So my question to you is thatwhat kind of life do you want to
live?
Do you want to do the one whereyou kind of keep your calendar
as free and clear as possible sothat you can really just hijack
(04:22):
and take that spontaneous event,whatever it comes or, or do you
want to have the other one wherethen your face to decide either
to revoke your plans that youalready had, or keep your plans
and revoke that spontaneousopportunity?
I would choose the latter onebecause in the end, you're going
(04:43):
to have way more moments in yourlife, way more moments of
enjoyment, things to reflectupon versus keeping your
calendar more clear so that youcan possibly engage an
opportunity that comes your way,which leaves so much more times
for idleness.
And when there were idle and wedon't even have a framework to
know what we want to do, we findourselves bored and not
(05:04):
fulfilled.
I would encourage you to startplanning.
And in a few minutes, I'm goingtell you just how you can begin
planning in a way that I thinkis incredibly effective and
makes your life also incrediblyflexible.
So what do I mean by planning?
I don't mean planning everysingle moment of your day.
In the sense of you fill inevery half hour, every hour,
(05:27):
every minute with concretethings you want to do, I'm going
to use the bathroom at 9:00 AM.
I'm gonna eat my breakfast from9:15 to 9:30 or whatever it is.
This is not planning.
That is micromanaging, that getsin the way of life.
And it's just too many things.
To juggle.
What I want to talk to you aboutis using blocks of time.
(05:47):
Now, some of you may havealready heard of this time
blocking.
I'm not the inventor of this.
Now I have a way by which I useit, I think is the most
effective way to use it.
You are going to have to holdonto the end to listen to that.
The blocking is the mostimportant way by which we can
plan life that gives structureand awesome and amazing
flexibility.
(06:08):
So what we do is we block ourtime the day before.
At least the day before with bigchunks of thematic areas of
work.
So, if you've listened to myepisodes in the past, especially
the first few episodes, I talkabout my framework, my method of
living the most real lifepossible.
It's built into three majorblocks: margin.
(06:31):
The first one, it's the mostimportant one.
It's that space, that air bywhich you can breathe and know
who you are.
And what you're meant to be.
Its a place by which you'rerejuvenated, reenergize.
It's leisure, it's connectingwith friends and family it's
things that are ends tothemselves.
It's one thing to make awonderfull dinner for your
spouse, for your friends, foryour family, because you love
(06:54):
it.
It might be very well anotherthing to be a chef and cooking
for a full-time job that is notnecessarily margin.
That is a job, that is a dutythat you have to do it's
responsibility.
So margin is most indispensable.
It needs to be coveted becausethat is where we get our energy.
The next one is momentum.
(07:14):
Another big block.
That's those things that movethe needle forward in your life.
Legitimately, we can'trationalize this.
Real things.
And that means, Hey, it's NewYear's.
It's January.
You realize maybe, Hey, I'm needto be a living a little more
healthy of a life.
In so I'm going to move theneedle forward in my life to
become more healthy.
(07:35):
And the last one is inmaintenance.
It would be carrying thatexample along the way.
Is that maybe I achieved thatmilestone, that momentous
milestone of getting where Iwant to be in my health.
Now, the thing is you need tomaintain it, right?
This is the hard part.
This is why new year'sresolutions fail miserably in so
many ways.
And one way is that maybe we doachieve our goal, which I think
(07:56):
goals are a difficult, or maybea hard thing to actually use.
And maybe not the best thing touse when it comes to new year's
resolutions.
We achieve our goal, losingweight, becoming more healthy,
and then in the end we end upbingeing and getting all back.
And now it's a momentum again,versus maintenance.
Whereas I'm here, I've reachedmy destination.
I've reached the way I want tofeel, and look, now we need to
(08:17):
maintain it.
The three major blocks by whichwe live our life and have the
most fulfilling life possible.
And the goal is (08:25):
to have margin be at the top by which it feeds
and fuels both momentum andmaintenance because without
energy, what?
You can have all the time in theworld, but you're not going to
do anything.
I know what it's like to wake upsuper early in the morning and
then go to bed super late,constantly.
It's not healthy.
like I have three hours bymorning to do things, but I have
(08:47):
no energy.
I can barely keep awake.
So it's pointless.
I might as well go back to bed.
Margin is that sacred place bywhich we can actually have the
energy to do great things andmaintain our life well, and not
be sucked into temptation whenwe're weak.
So this is the way by which weblock out our days.
(09:07):
The big three kinds of blocks.
So what's the benefits of, oftime-blocking.
Well, there's tons, especiallythis kind of time-blocking.
It gives you structure in yourday, but a lot of freedom
because there's a block, it's anarea of your life that could be
filled with just about anythingin that category.
And this is the beauty of timeblocking in the way that I'm
(09:28):
proposing.
Cause you just time block areasand you say, well, I'm going to
block here.
It's hard because there's somany options to think about what
I'm going to do.
But if you use these threeareas, you kind of put a
perimeter, a boundary, right?
You, you limit your options in away Okay.
From 6:00 AM to 8:00 AM, thisblock is margin, personal
(09:51):
margin.
So now I know my playing fieldis not doing the dishes, unless
that gives you energy.
It might be meditation, prayer,exercising, journaling,
listening to music, reading agood book, connecting with a
beloved family member or afriend.
And the list goes on and on: playing your musical instrument, (10:11):
undefined
whatever it may be, right.
It narrows that.
And then I time block for acouple of hours, momentum where
this is strictly an area bywhich I'm going to move the
needle forward in my life.
And in my coaching program, Igive you an entire system of
framework, a method, to be ableto determine what those things
are in your life that you wantto move the needle forward in.
(10:34):
How they're connected to youroverall vision.
And step-by-step how to achievethis by little movements every
day.
And then you have blocks in yourday for maintenanc.
All those other things by which,gosh, I got to respond to
emails, call this person back,go get the groceries, go get an
oil, change, get a haircut,whatever it means.
(10:56):
All of these things fall intomaintenance.
So it gives you structure.
But also it gives you anenormous amount of freedom to
choose which things you want tofill with that.
So I, myself, I decided toparticulars about this the night
before.
So when I wake up early in themorning and I'm groggy and I
don't know what to do, I justlook right in front of me.
(11:18):
And the very first thing that'sthere.
I know what I'm committing to.
It's the lowest hanging fruit.
I know that when I wake up.
I'm going to be groggy.
I'm going to be tired and I'mgoing to try to take the least
amount of effort to accomplishsomething.
So I have to make the importantthing in my life, easily
accessible.
I need to prepare that for thenight before.
(11:38):
And I mentioned this works bestbecause we limit our options by
these kinds of blocks.
And it also gives usspontaneity.
To move blocks around or fill itwith other things when the time
comes, because it's easier tomove blocks around versus every
little thing that you schedulefor the day.
And then you have to constantlymove in blocks all over these
(11:59):
little blocks.
These are bigger blocks.
Now at the end, I'm going togive you an example by what you
could look at to see how I blockthings out.
Those are time blocks, but ofcourse my appointments are very
specific and they're in mycalendar.
They're not just blocks, butthey're specific appointments.
Another huge thing is that italso puts me in control of my
(12:22):
day when someone asks me to hangout.
This is where spontaneity comesin.
How many times, has someone cometo you and say, Hey, are you
available Wednesday at noon?
And I'd love to grab lunchstudent catch up.
And you're like, that's awesome.
Maybe you look at your calendaror maybe you don't even look at
your calendar.
You say, let's do it.
And then you realize, ah, crap,after you made the commitment.
(12:45):
That I was going to do this atnoon today with myself or
whatever I want you to.
I have this thing that I wantedto work on.
And I remember telling myself Iwas going to work on it this day
and I forgot.
And so you constantly losecontrol of your day invitation
by invitation.
But when you time block, it'slike a trigger.
Somebody asks you to go out tolunch, say at noon on Wednesday.
(13:08):
You say, that sounds amazing,let me check my calendar.
And then you see the time block.
Maybe it's a momentum block.
Like, Oh yeah, crap.
I was going to work on this onething.
That's really, really importantto me.
Right.
Then you can say, Hey, I'm notavailable.
I have an appointment at noonbecause you do a point with
yourself.
Can we do it on Thursday?
Or you can say, you know what,it's not worth it.
(13:29):
This can wait, my momentumthing.
My thing can wait untilThursday.
I'm going to move it to Thursdayand invite this person and say
yes to them to lunch.
Right.
Again, see, now you're trulyliving spontaneity at its
essence because you're not justfilling things in and then
having, Oh, crap moments.
You're truly in control of thespontaneity.
Another great thing aboutplanning that it's good for
(13:52):
friendships Like how many of us.
Seem as if we ask our friendslast minute to get a drink, to
go out to dinner, to hang out.
It's okay once in a while.
But it was constantly lastminute, it kind of feels like
you're a plan B person.
I want you to live the mostintentional life and say, you
know what I've been thinkingabout you are you available next
(14:14):
Saturday, two Saturdays from nowto get some drinks.
I'd love to hang out.
Now you're being intentional.
You reached out to them, theyfeel good.
They're like, wow, you'reactually calling me in advance
and really wanting to be withme.
I love when people do that tome.
Last minute?
Hey, it's great.
But over and over and over, Ifeel like I'm just being slid in
and filling the gaps of boredom.
(14:35):
And I don't wanna do that toanybody else.
So it increases your ability tohave deeper friendships by being
intentional.
And it makes you look for thejoy in the commitment.
We are a commitment averseculture, at least in the U S.
We don't like to commit toanything.
(14:56):
And it's hard because there'sjoy in commitment.
There's joy and commitment inmarriage.
There's freedom by limitingyourself and the options by
reducing your love to oneperson.
There's something so expansive,and so freeing in that.
And these micro-commitments area beautiful freedom.
(15:16):
I want to share this story.
This is when I was dating my nowwife and it was relatively early
on maybe three or four monthsin, and we had committed to
going on a bike ride togetherlater on that afternoon, but we
had things we had to get done,of course.
We were working, getting thingsdone in my apartment.
And when the time came to get onour bike ride, of course, what
did I want to do?
(15:36):
My natural penalty is let's justkeep working.
Let's make void our commitmentand let's just keep working.
And my then girlfriend, my nowwife, was like, no, no, no.
We said, we're going to do this.
Let's do this.
Like, ah, crap, this sucks.
I didn't want to get on my bikeclothes on and then to get our
bike out and go for a ride andthis is going to suck.
(15:58):
But we made a commitment and Ithink she's cute.
So let's just do it.
So we'd go on the bike ride.
Guess what?
That's one of the most memorablebike rides of my life.
It was so fun.
It was just what we needed.
My then-girlfriend, my now wife,knew exactly what we needed.
(16:19):
To remain committed to ourcommitments, but it's going to
give us life.
It was an end to itself, a timeto get some leisure and
connection and it was great.
I loved it.
And in fact, I'm so thankfulIshe made us go on that, that
bike ride.
Remain committed to our plansbecause there was so many
spontaneous moments in thecontext of that planned bike
(16:41):
ride.
And at the end, being so full ofjoy and happiness, and just like
this was flipping awesome.
And she was freezing.
She was freezing, ended up beingso cold.
So it got a little lost in thetemperature was dropping
quickly.
It was early spring.
I remember looking at her andthinking in my head, I think I
love this girl because of that.
(17:03):
Just her spontaneity or desireto just let's just do this.
Let's not keep going.
Let's stay committed.
And in the midst of that, havingsome beautiful, spontaneous
moments.
So by planning, it also gives usthe chance to enjoy the
spontaneity, the powerfulmoments in our commitments.
(17:25):
Planning is not about being busyIt is about being intentional.
It is about ensuring that wehappen to life and that life
doesn't always happen to us.
Yes.
I know people are averse toplanning and planning their day
and it's hard.
And I see those people driftthrough life.
(17:47):
They're the ones who don't quiteget where they want to be in
fillment or success.
And I am not proposingmicro-managing and filling your
day with every particular, whatI'm saying, proposals.
When you plan your life in thesekinds of blocks, you open up new
horizons of fulfillment in yourlife.
Especially when you start withmargin.
(18:10):
I want to tell you a little bitmore about that in just a
second.
When I plan my weeks, I enjoyeverything so much because I
feel like I choose this.
I'm choosing my week.
Even if I choose to do nothing,at least I'm choosing it, right.
I'm not drifting intonothingness.
I'm not drifting intobinge-watching.
(18:31):
I'm choosing it.
And it's in my plan.
And I know that I'm allowed.
I don't have to stress.
I don't have to feel guilt aboutbinge-watching for 12 hours,
some kind of season, because inmy plan that comes to an end,
and there's something else to bedone soon.
I have way more moments in mylife that I can remember fondly.
(18:54):
Spontaneity is much more fun andenjoyable because I know what
I'm saying no to and what I'msaying yes to.
And I want you to have that samething.
So here is your call to actionthis week.
I want you to try blocking yourweek next week and start with
margin.
(19:14):
That's the most important thing.
Your blocks.
As much as you can start with ablank canvas.
I know it's impossible.
You already have things filledup you're committed to.
But as much as you can, beginwith the big rocks, the
important things in your lifethat give you energy: prayer,
meditation, exercise,journaling, playing your
favorite musical instrument,listening to music, connecting
(19:38):
with a friend, family member,going out, enjoying a play a
musical, a movie.
Put these in as the first bigthings that give you the energy
to actually leverage your weekand then fill it with the
momentum and maintenance blocks.
So commit yourself to this.
Try this out for one week.
I promise you it's going to makea huge difference.
(20:00):
Now there's more to this There'smargin.
There's momentum andmaintenance.
Well, what next?
What is in margin?
What is momentum?
What is maintenance?
And that is all my coachingprogram.
And if you want to join my waitlist, go to
livingthereal.com/coaching.
And you can at least get startedin my waitlist where I will
offer a free masterclass to showyou my coaching program, but how
(20:21):
you live out the most fulfillinglife in this living the real
method.
So that when you do have thatblock of margin, you know
exactly what you want to fill itwith.
Right?
So if you're looking for anexample of time blocking.
Go tolivingthereal.com/timeblocking.
I'm going to give you a freedownloadable of an example of an
(20:43):
ideal week.
I encourage you to do this too.
If there's two things you do isthat you spend 30 minutes
blocking out your week nextweek, and then over time,
develop an ideal a week for youwith the blocking method.
What does a general ideal weeklook like that makes me feel
like, yeah, that was a goodweek.
That was balanced.
(21:04):
I had some solid margin in mylife, had space, energy
connecting with friends.
And in margin, I had this thingcalled madness.
I wanted to make it a fourth"M"but I thought it really falls
under the framework of margin.
There's a lot of things thatgive us space: reading
meditating.
But sometimes we just need toenter into madness for a little
bit.
Maybe that allowance to simplybinge episode upon episode for
(21:26):
12 hours.
It is part of margin.
It's something they want to do.
It's like eating sweets, right?
We don't do this every day, butallow us to go into an episode
of madness and plan that aswell.
For example, what does this looklike?
How do I get my mind aroundthis?
Go tolivingthereal.com/timeblocking
to give you an example of whatan ideal week might look like.
(21:48):
All right.
I hope this is helpful for you.
I hope in light of January, youcan make this year one of the
most incredible years of yourlife by putting more planning in
your life without sacrificingany spontaneity.
And then reflecting at the endof 2021, saying, man, this year
had the most profound moments ofmy entire life.
(22:10):
Okay.
Go to it.
Have a wonderful week.
We will see you next week.
Take care, and bye-bye.
Thank you for listening to thisepisode of Living the Real.
If you want to check out moreinformation, go to
livingthereal.com and sign upfor my newsletter.
If you want to support thispodcast, you do that at
patreon.com/ltr as well asone-time payments at Venmo and
(22:34):
PayPal in the show notes.
See you all next episode.
Take care.
Bye-bye yeah.
The fact of the matter is I am a planner.
And a lot of times, oftentimes Iget these questions.
Why be so planned out?
Do you have any fun in yourlife?
Do you want to have a littleroom for spontaneity?
I get this all the time becauseI'm obsessed with planning.
And my question typically backis something like this.
(00:20):
Out of curiosity, how do you seespontaneity and planning as
opposed to each other?
In this episode, I'm gonna showyou exactly how planning is not
opposed to spontaneity.
In fact, planning, elevatesspontaneity, but you have to
plan well and, and plan in aparticular way.
So hold it to the very end whereI give you a tip that is rock
(00:41):
solid, that my clients love,that helped to give them really
a solid planning in their lives.
Get control in their lives.
Without the sense of feeling asif you are locked into your day.
That there is room for newnessmoments, spontaneity.
So let's get going.
Um, Are you living the most reallife possible?
(01:07):
I ask myself this question allthe time.
Most of the time, the answer is,I just don't know.
But sometimes the answer isdefinitely not.
This is why I have this podcast.
I'm Matt Boettger and welcome tothe show.
Two small things.
If you get a chance, pleaseleave a review on Apple podcasts
and also check out my website,live in the real.com where I
(01:29):
offer lots of resources in howto live the most real life
possible.
Now on with the show.
Welcome to episode 17, where wetalk about planning and why it's
important and why it doesn'tremove the spontaneity the
lightness of your life.
If you do it the right way, andI'm going to give you a tip at
the very end, that will changeyour life and change the way you
(01:51):
plan that leaves room well,gives you control but also
leaves room for the things thatcome at the last minute.
But I wanna start with a story.
This happened about, I don'tknow if it was a first year into
our marriage or the second year,but we were constantly under the
grind.
There was so much stuff going inour life.
There was so many things that wehad to tackle.
We felt like every single day,our lives were just constantly
(02:13):
busy now, full disclosure.
I think that part of that wasbecause of me, my planning and
my way of planning was gettingin the way of actually living
life.
And so there needed to be achange.
And so I proposed this.
We weren't planning our weeks.
We're just allowing the world tohappen to us.
And every day there were newthings, new obligations, new
urgencies that were taking usaway from having fun.
(02:35):
So I said, every Sunday.
Now we didn't have kids yet.
So it's a whole different ballgame.
We're newlyweds, every Sunday,let's plan the next three weeks
out.
Pretty much every day.
We had work there.
Those things took up time, butour weekends were planned down
and we would alternate who haddate night or date day.
So maybe the first one weekendit's me.
And that could weekend.
This is my wife.
(02:56):
And we did this for probably sixmonths and our life was
completely different.
All of a sudden we looked backand there were moments in our
life that were just really fun.
There were fun to reminisceabout and no longer were we
stuck in this cycle everySaturday, Sunday, grinding out
all these random tasks to dothings that didn't give us life.
(03:19):
But rather now we can look back.
And say, man, you were that wewent on that bike ride, went to
the zoo.
We had that incredible dinner atthis restaurant.
We had a lot more things toreflect upon.
And that was a big aha momentthat planning does not remove
spontaneity.
It actually elevates it.
It gives spontaneity room to begenuinely free.
(03:40):
I want to talk about that, howthat happened.
So now let's just take a quicklook at how spontaneity comes in
our life.
There's really two ways.
The first one is when a lastminute opportunity comes our
way, right.
Something just arises out ofnowhere and we already have
nothing to do.
And so we're like, Hey, let's dothis thing.
Let's roll.
The other way.
Is that, Hey, a last-minutething comes your way.
(04:02):
A new opportunity is presentedto you, but you already have
something planned, right?
Those are the two things thatcome.
This is how sparsity comes inour life.
So my question to you is thatwhat kind of life do you want to
live?
Do you want to do the one whereyou kind of keep your calendar
as free and clear as possible sothat you can really just hijack
(04:22):
and take that spontaneous event,whatever it comes or, or do you
want to have the other one wherethen your face to decide either
to revoke your plans that youalready had, or keep your plans
and revoke that spontaneousopportunity?
I would choose the latter onebecause in the end, you're going
(04:43):
to have way more moments in yourlife, way more moments of
enjoyment, things to reflectupon versus keeping your
calendar more clear so that youcan possibly engage an
opportunity that comes your way,which leaves so much more times
for idleness.
And when there were idle and wedon't even have a framework to
know what we want to do, we findourselves bored and not
(05:04):
fulfilled.
I would encourage you to startplanning.
And in a few minutes, I'm goingtell you just how you can begin
planning in a way that I thinkis incredibly effective and
makes your life also incrediblyflexible.
So what do I mean by planning?
I don't mean planning everysingle moment of your day.
In the sense of you fill inevery half hour, every hour,
(05:27):
every minute with concretethings you want to do, I'm going
to use the bathroom at 9:00 AM.
I'm gonna eat my breakfast from9:15 to 9:30 or whatever it is.
This is not planning.
That is micromanaging, that getsin the way of life.
And it's just too many things.
To juggle.
What I want to talk to you aboutis using blocks of time.
(05:47):
Now, some of you may havealready heard of this time
blocking.
I'm not the inventor of this.
Now I have a way by which I useit, I think is the most
effective way to use it.
You are going to have to holdonto the end to listen to that.
The blocking is the mostimportant way by which we can
plan life that gives structureand awesome and amazing
flexibility.
(06:08):
So what we do is we block ourtime the day before.
At least the day before with bigchunks of thematic areas of
work.
So, if you've listened to myepisodes in the past, especially
the first few episodes, I talkabout my framework, my method of
living the most real lifepossible.
It's built into three majorblocks: margin.
(06:31):
The first one, it's the mostimportant one.
It's that space, that air bywhich you can breathe and know
who you are.
And what you're meant to be.
Its a place by which you'rerejuvenated, reenergize.
It's leisure, it's connectingwith friends and family it's
things that are ends tothemselves.
It's one thing to make awonderfull dinner for your
spouse, for your friends, foryour family, because you love
(06:54):
it.
It might be very well anotherthing to be a chef and cooking
for a full-time job that is notnecessarily margin.
That is a job, that is a dutythat you have to do it's
responsibility.
So margin is most indispensable.
It needs to be coveted becausethat is where we get our energy.
The next one is momentum.
(07:14):
Another big block.
That's those things that movethe needle forward in your life.
Legitimately, we can'trationalize this.
Real things.
And that means, Hey, it's NewYear's.
It's January.
You realize maybe, Hey, I'm needto be a living a little more
healthy of a life.
In so I'm going to move theneedle forward in my life to
become more healthy.
(07:35):
And the last one is inmaintenance.
It would be carrying thatexample along the way.
Is that maybe I achieved thatmilestone, that momentous
milestone of getting where Iwant to be in my health.
Now, the thing is you need tomaintain it, right?
This is the hard part.
This is why new year'sresolutions fail miserably in so
many ways.
And one way is that maybe we doachieve our goal, which I think
(07:56):
goals are a difficult, or maybea hard thing to actually use.
And maybe not the best thing touse when it comes to new year's
resolutions.
We achieve our goal, losingweight, becoming more healthy,
and then in the end we end upbingeing and getting all back.
And now it's a momentum again,versus maintenance.
Whereas I'm here, I've reachedmy destination.
I've reached the way I want tofeel, and look, now we need to
(08:17):
maintain it.
The three major blocks by whichwe live our life and have the
most fulfilling life possible.
And the goal is (08:25):
to have margin be at the top by which it feeds
and fuels both momentum andmaintenance because without
energy, what?
You can have all the time in theworld, but you're not going to
do anything.
I know what it's like to wake upsuper early in the morning and
then go to bed super late,constantly.
It's not healthy.
like I have three hours bymorning to do things, but I have
(08:47):
no energy.
I can barely keep awake.
So it's pointless.
I might as well go back to bed.
Margin is that sacred place bywhich we can actually have the
energy to do great things andmaintain our life well, and not
be sucked into temptation whenwe're weak.
So this is the way by which weblock out our days.
(09:07):
The big three kinds of blocks.
So what's the benefits of, oftime-blocking.
Well, there's tons, especiallythis kind of time-blocking.
It gives you structure in yourday, but a lot of freedom
because there's a block, it's anarea of your life that could be
filled with just about anythingin that category.
And this is the beauty of timeblocking in the way that I'm
(09:28):
proposing.
Cause you just time block areasand you say, well, I'm going to
block here.
It's hard because there's somany options to think about what
I'm going to do.
But if you use these threeareas, you kind of put a
perimeter, a boundary, right?
You, you limit your options in away Okay.
From 6:00 AM to 8:00 AM, thisblock is margin, personal
(09:51):
margin.
So now I know my playing fieldis not doing the dishes, unless
that gives you energy.
It might be meditation, prayer,exercising, journaling,
listening to music, reading agood book, connecting with a
beloved family member or afriend.
And the list goes on and on: playing your musical instrument, (10:11):
undefined
whatever it may be, right.
It narrows that.
And then I time block for acouple of hours, momentum where
this is strictly an area bywhich I'm going to move the
needle forward in my life.
And in my coaching program, Igive you an entire system of
framework, a method, to be ableto determine what those things
are in your life that you wantto move the needle forward in.
(10:34):
How they're connected to youroverall vision.
And step-by-step how to achievethis by little movements every
day.
And then you have blocks in yourday for maintenanc.
All those other things by which,gosh, I got to respond to
emails, call this person back,go get the groceries, go get an
oil, change, get a haircut,whatever it means.
(10:56):
All of these things fall intomaintenance.
So it gives you structure.
But also it gives you anenormous amount of freedom to
choose which things you want tofill with that.
So I, myself, I decided toparticulars about this the night
before.
So when I wake up early in themorning and I'm groggy and I
don't know what to do, I justlook right in front of me.
(11:18):
And the very first thing that'sthere.
I know what I'm committing to.
It's the lowest hanging fruit.
I know that when I wake up.
I'm going to be groggy.
I'm going to be tired and I'mgoing to try to take the least
amount of effort to accomplishsomething.
So I have to make the importantthing in my life, easily
accessible.
I need to prepare that for thenight before.
(11:38):
And I mentioned this works bestbecause we limit our options by
these kinds of blocks.
And it also gives usspontaneity.
To move blocks around or fill itwith other things when the time
comes, because it's easier tomove blocks around versus every
little thing that you schedulefor the day.
And then you have to constantlymove in blocks all over these
(11:59):
little blocks.
These are bigger blocks.
Now at the end, I'm going togive you an example by what you
could look at to see how I blockthings out.
Those are time blocks, but ofcourse my appointments are very
specific and they're in mycalendar.
They're not just blocks, butthey're specific appointments.
Another huge thing is that italso puts me in control of my
(12:22):
day when someone asks me to hangout.
This is where spontaneity comesin.
How many times, has someone cometo you and say, Hey, are you
available Wednesday at noon?
And I'd love to grab lunchstudent catch up.
And you're like, that's awesome.
Maybe you look at your calendaror maybe you don't even look at
your calendar.
You say, let's do it.
And then you realize, ah, crap,after you made the commitment.
(12:45):
That I was going to do this atnoon today with myself or
whatever I want you to.
I have this thing that I wantedto work on.
And I remember telling myself Iwas going to work on it this day
and I forgot.
And so you constantly losecontrol of your day invitation
by invitation.
But when you time block, it'slike a trigger.
Somebody asks you to go out tolunch, say at noon on Wednesday.
(13:08):
You say, that sounds amazing,let me check my calendar.
And then you see the time block.
Maybe it's a momentum block.
Like, Oh yeah, crap.
I was going to work on this onething.
That's really, really importantto me.
Right.
Then you can say, Hey, I'm notavailable.
I have an appointment at noonbecause you do a point with
yourself.
Can we do it on Thursday?
Or you can say, you know what,it's not worth it.
(13:29):
This can wait, my momentumthing.
My thing can wait untilThursday.
I'm going to move it to Thursdayand invite this person and say
yes to them to lunch.
Right.
Again, see, now you're trulyliving spontaneity at its
essence because you're not justfilling things in and then
having, Oh, crap moments.
You're truly in control of thespontaneity.
Another great thing aboutplanning that it's good for
(13:52):
friendships Like how many of us.
Seem as if we ask our friendslast minute to get a drink, to
go out to dinner, to hang out.
It's okay once in a while.
But it was constantly lastminute, it kind of feels like
you're a plan B person.
I want you to live the mostintentional life and say, you
know what I've been thinkingabout you are you available next
(14:14):
Saturday, two Saturdays from nowto get some drinks.
I'd love to hang out.
Now you're being intentional.
You reached out to them, theyfeel good.
They're like, wow, you'reactually calling me in advance
and really wanting to be withme.
I love when people do that tome.
Last minute?
Hey, it's great.
But over and over and over, Ifeel like I'm just being slid in
and filling the gaps of boredom.
(14:35):
And I don't wanna do that toanybody else.
So it increases your ability tohave deeper friendships by being
intentional.
And it makes you look for thejoy in the commitment.
We are a commitment averseculture, at least in the U S.
We don't like to commit toanything.
(14:56):
And it's hard because there'sjoy in commitment.
There's joy and commitment inmarriage.
There's freedom by limitingyourself and the options by
reducing your love to oneperson.
There's something so expansive,and so freeing in that.
And these micro-commitments area beautiful freedom.
(15:16):
I want to share this story.
This is when I was dating my nowwife and it was relatively early
on maybe three or four monthsin, and we had committed to
going on a bike ride togetherlater on that afternoon, but we
had things we had to get done,of course.
We were working, getting thingsdone in my apartment.
And when the time came to get onour bike ride, of course, what
did I want to do?
(15:36):
My natural penalty is let's justkeep working.
Let's make void our commitmentand let's just keep working.
And my then girlfriend, my nowwife, was like, no, no, no.
We said, we're going to do this.
Let's do this.
Like, ah, crap, this sucks.
I didn't want to get on my bikeclothes on and then to get our
bike out and go for a ride andthis is going to suck.
(15:58):
But we made a commitment and Ithink she's cute.
So let's just do it.
So we'd go on the bike ride.
Guess what?
That's one of the most memorablebike rides of my life.
It was so fun.
It was just what we needed.
My then-girlfriend, my now wife,knew exactly what we needed.
(16:19):
To remain committed to ourcommitments, but it's going to
give us life.
It was an end to itself, a timeto get some leisure and
connection and it was great.
I loved it.
And in fact, I'm so thankfulIshe made us go on that, that
bike ride.
Remain committed to our plansbecause there was so many
spontaneous moments in thecontext of that planned bike
(16:41):
ride.
And at the end, being so full ofjoy and happiness, and just like
this was flipping awesome.
And she was freezing.
She was freezing, ended up beingso cold.
So it got a little lost in thetemperature was dropping
quickly.
It was early spring.
I remember looking at her andthinking in my head, I think I
love this girl because of that.
(17:03):
Just her spontaneity or desireto just let's just do this.
Let's not keep going.
Let's stay committed.
And in the midst of that, havingsome beautiful, spontaneous
moments.
So by planning, it also gives usthe chance to enjoy the
spontaneity, the powerfulmoments in our commitments.
(17:25):
Planning is not about being busyIt is about being intentional.
It is about ensuring that wehappen to life and that life
doesn't always happen to us.
Yes.
I know people are averse toplanning and planning their day
and it's hard.
And I see those people driftthrough life.
(17:47):
They're the ones who don't quiteget where they want to be in
fillment or success.
And I am not proposingmicro-managing and filling your
day with every particular, whatI'm saying, proposals.
When you plan your life in thesekinds of blocks, you open up new
horizons of fulfillment in yourlife.
Especially when you start withmargin.
(18:10):
I want to tell you a little bitmore about that in just a
second.
When I plan my weeks, I enjoyeverything so much because I
feel like I choose this.
I'm choosing my week.
Even if I choose to do nothing,at least I'm choosing it, right.
I'm not drifting intonothingness.
I'm not drifting intobinge-watching.
(18:31):
I'm choosing it.
And it's in my plan.
And I know that I'm allowed.
I don't have to stress.
I don't have to feel guilt aboutbinge-watching for 12 hours,
some kind of season, because inmy plan that comes to an end,
and there's something else to bedone soon.
I have way more moments in mylife that I can remember fondly.
(18:54):
Spontaneity is much more fun andenjoyable because I know what
I'm saying no to and what I'msaying yes to.
And I want you to have that samething.
So here is your call to actionthis week.
I want you to try blocking yourweek next week and start with
margin.
(19:14):
That's the most important thing.
Your blocks.
As much as you can start with ablank canvas.
I know it's impossible.
You already have things filledup you're committed to.
But as much as you can, beginwith the big rocks, the
important things in your lifethat give you energy: prayer,
meditation, exercise,journaling, playing your
favorite musical instrument,listening to music, connecting
(19:38):
with a friend, family member,going out, enjoying a play a
musical, a movie.
Put these in as the first bigthings that give you the energy
to actually leverage your weekand then fill it with the
momentum and maintenance blocks.
So commit yourself to this.
Try this out for one week.
I promise you it's going to makea huge difference.
(20:00):
Now there's more to this There'smargin.
There's momentum andmaintenance.
Well, what next?
What is in margin?
What is momentum?
What is maintenance?
And that is all my coachingprogram.
And if you want to join my waitlist, go to
livingthereal.com/coaching.
And you can at least get startedin my waitlist where I will
offer a free masterclass to showyou my coaching program, but how
(20:21):
you live out the most fulfillinglife in this living the real
method.
So that when you do have thatblock of margin, you know
exactly what you want to fill itwith.
Right?
So if you're looking for anexample of time blocking.
Go tolivingthereal.com/timeblocking.
I'm going to give you a freedownloadable of an example of an
(20:43):
ideal week.
I encourage you to do this too.
If there's two things you do isthat you spend 30 minutes
blocking out your week nextweek, and then over time,
develop an ideal a week for youwith the blocking method.
What does a general ideal weeklook like that makes me feel
like, yeah, that was a goodweek.
That was balanced.
(21:04):
I had some solid margin in mylife, had space, energy
connecting with friends.
And in margin, I had this thingcalled madness.
I wanted to make it a fourth"M"but I thought it really falls
under the framework of margin.
There's a lot of things thatgive us space: reading
meditating.
But sometimes we just need toenter into madness for a little
bit.
Maybe that allowance to simplybinge episode upon episode for
(21:26):
12 hours.
It is part of margin.
It's something they want to do.
It's like eating sweets, right?
We don't do this every day, butallow us to go into an episode
of madness and plan that aswell.
For example, what does this looklike?
How do I get my mind aroundthis?
Go tolivingthereal.com/timeblocking
to give you an example of whatan ideal week might look like.
(21:48):
All right.
I hope this is helpful for you.
I hope in light of January, youcan make this year one of the
most incredible years of yourlife by putting more planning in
your life without sacrificingany spontaneity.
And then reflecting at the endof 2021, saying, man, this year
had the most profound moments ofmy entire life.
(22:10):
Okay.
Go to it.
Have a wonderful week.
We will see you next week.
Take care, and bye-bye.
Thank you for listening to thisepisode of Living the Real.
If you want to check out moreinformation, go to
livingthereal.com and sign upfor my newsletter.
If you want to support thispodcast, you do that at
patreon.com/ltr as well asone-time payments at Venmo and
(22:34):
PayPal in the show notes.
See you all next episode.
Take care.
Bye-bye yeah.
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