January 21, 2025 • 23 mins
What does it really take to build a life on your own terms? In this deeply personal episode of Living the Whole Picture, I’m sharing the unfiltered story of my hustle—the challenges, setbacks, and moments that defined my journey. From growing up in a small Texas town with big dreams to navigating the traumas of losing everything in college, working multiple jobs, and building my photography business, I’ll take you through the experiences that shaped my grit, determination, and perspective on life.
This episode dives into the raw realities of hustle culture, what it means to thrive despite adversity, and the power of authenticity and resilience. Whether you’re starting from nothing, chasing a dream, or looking for inspiration to keep going, this episode will remind you that your story matters and that the journey—not just the destination—is where the magic lies.
Join me for an honest conversation about the hustle, healing, and building the life you’ve always dreamed of.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jama Pantel (00:08):
Hey y'all, welcome back to Living the Whole Picture
, the podcast where photography,business and inspiration
collide.
I'm your host, Jama Pantel, aluxury portrait photographer
turned educator, author,influencer and dream chaser.
Each week, we tackle topicsthat help you shine in front of
the camera, build confidence inyour brand and take bold steps
(00:28):
towards your biggest goals.
Whether you're here to refineyour photography skills, grow
your business or simply findinspiration to keep going,
you're in the right place.
They say most podcasts don'tmake it past seven episodes, so
I challenged myself to put outseven solo episodes before
sharing stories of others.
So for episode seven, I wantedto share my own story.
(00:49):
This isn't an easy story totell, but it's one I think many
of you can relate to, especiallythose of you that have felt
like you're starting fromnothing with the odds stacked
against you.
In this week's episode ofLiving the Whole Picture odds
stacked against you In thisweek's episode of Living the
Whole Picture, I'm gettingpersonal.
I'm sharing the raw, unfilteredstory of my hustle From growing
(01:13):
up in a small Texas town tolosing everything in college,
losing every safety net I everthought I had and starting over
Hustling to get out of creditcard and college tuition debt
and building a life and businesson my terms.
This episode is packed with thechallenges tuition, debt and
building a life and business onmy terms.
This episode is packed with thechallenges, triumphs and
lessons that shaped me.
Whether you're chasing bigdreams or just need a reminder
of why your story matters, thisis the episode for you.
(01:36):
Let's dive into my story, thestory behind the hustle.
I can't promise that tearswon't be shed Now, before we get
into my story, I wanted toshare a few core beliefs that
have shaped me.
Some of these are values Ilearned growing up.
Others are things I'vedeveloped through life's
challenges.
So my grandmother's had a wayof saying things that stuck with
(01:59):
me - In her sweet TexasSouthern drawl "a proper lady
should or my other grandmotherall you need is God and a good
pair of heels.
I can still hear their voicesin my head.
While I don't think I'm theepitome of a proper lady, those
sayings instill values thatguide me to this day.
So one thing I don't believe inis the idea of manifesting
(02:23):
without action.
Goals without plans are justdreams.
If someone tells you to justmanifest it and it'll come,
they're leaving out the mostimportant part the work.
I'm not some woo-woo girl.
I believe in taking thetangible steps to make things
happen even when the odds arestacked against you.
I've struggled with ways to getmy own voice heard, but I also
(02:46):
know that what I say has worth.
I resonate with those of youwho are willing to put in the
work and get to the core of theissues.
Plan and put in the work tomake things happen.
I've been put down by plenty ofmen, but the words and wounds
inflicted by women sting more.
Those experiences taught me tojudge people by how they treat
(03:06):
others, not by their status orachievements.
Being an empath, I've alwaysbeen sensitive to the emotions
of those around me, which hasshaped how I connect with people
and run my business, and mostof the time I feel like an
outsider.
But every now and then I meetsomeone who feels like my people
, and those connections remindme that I'm not alone.
(03:27):
If you take one thing away fromthis episode, let it be this
find your people.
They do exist.
You're not for everyone.
So, as I mentioned, I grew up ina small Texas town, on a ranch
shout out Chapman Ranchsurrounded by my family.
Life was simple we celebratedholidays, participated in school
(03:47):
events and spent most of ourtime with family.
My class from kindergarten tofifth grade only had five people
in it.
I really mean small - nostoplights.
I think we had one stop sign.
We grew up playing outside,getting dirty in the fields and
that was all we knew.
Wasn't much TV where I grew up,we got our knowledge from
(04:08):
reading books, magazines andencyclopedias.
Anybody remember those?
Ah the good old days.
But even as a kid I was verywell aware of adult struggles.
My mom worked tirelessly toprovide for us, juggling a
full-time job and all thetraditional roles expected of
her as a woman.
My dad was present and I knewhe loved us, but he wasn't the
(04:30):
provider.
My mom carried that load andresponsibility.
Watching my mom juggle so muchtaught me the value of hard work
.
I started helping out earlycooking, cleaning, packing
lunges, laundry all the thingsand helping take care of my
younger sisters.
Growing up fast was just a partof life.
I joked that I could easilytake care of a full family of
(04:51):
seven by the time I startedelementary school.
So when we moved to a slightlybigger town for junior high and
high school shout out Rivera,texas my parents bought their
first house.
It was a huge milestone, but italso brought financial strain.
By the time I graduated highschool, things were so tight
that my mom gave me an IOU formy graduation gift.
(05:12):
That piece of paper meant theworld to me because it showed me
how much she cared, even whenthere wasn't anything tangible
to give.
During high school, my dad wasarrested and placed on probation
, a detail I don't often share.
There were plenty of ups,obviously, in high school and
growing up in a small town andall the stories that I could
share with all my people, andthese experiences shaped a lot
(05:36):
of how I handle challenges.
I had my close group of friends, but it also taught me to keep
things to myself and just pushthrough, even when life felt
overwhelming.
My grandmother wrote the bestletter to the judge for my dad
and ultimately I think that'swhat kept him out of jail
originally.
And then my grandmother passedaway and my world slowly started
(05:58):
to change.
When I left for college, Ibrought a set of twin bedsheets,
a few pieces of clothes and notmuch else, as I didn't have
much else.
I had no car I had.
I mean, that was all I had.
I remember talking to my futureroommate prior to heading to
college and realizing I hadnothing to contribute to our
(06:19):
dorm room.
It was embarrassing, but I madedo.
College was my first taste ofindependence and I thought life
was about to get much easier.
Boy was I wrong.
I worked multiple jobs just tosurvive, while surrounded by
students who seemed to have itall Cars, clothes, parents
paying tuition and even in theday when computers weren't
(06:40):
really a thing, people hadcomputers.
During college, my dad wasarrested again for violating his
probation.
I happened to be visiting homewhen it happened, and seeing him
handcuffed and taken to jail isa memory I'll never forget and
something I don't wish on anyone.
I spent a whole year in collegelooking for space to be left
(07:01):
alone so I could write lettersto my dad in prison, something I
doubt most college kids had todeal with or can even relate to,
and not something I've reallyshared openly ever.
So shortly after my dad'sarrest, my mom filed for divorce
and we lost the house I hadcalled home during junior high
and high school.
Now, I would never try to tellmy sister's stories those are
(07:24):
their stories to tell but I feltlike my younger sisters were
left to fend for themselves andI felt torn between wanting to
drop everything to help them andknowing that staying in school
was the only way to build abetter future for all of us.
I still vividly remember thephone calls of them calling me
and crying, worrying about nothaving a home, living in a car
and I'm not talking a nice carand having no money for food or
(07:47):
gas.
It was a lot, and a lot oftears were shed and to this day
I will protect my sisters withmy life.
But then, as if life hadn'tthrown enough my way, my college
apartment burned down and Ilost everything, literally
everything -my clothes, mybelongings and even the
(08:09):
furniture from my grandparents.
For someone who already had solittle, it felt like rock bottom
.
I thought I took it pretty well, but I remember getting the
call telling me it happened.
I remember sifting through allthe rubble and ashes and finding
the three ring binder to mypicture portfolio.
(08:29):
We had negatives back then andthat's when it really hit me and
I really lost it and started tocry - I had nothing.
I already didn't have a car orsavings, so I started to rely on
credit cards just to get by.
Have you ever experiencedhomelessness and the
hopelessness of that?
It's a hard concept for so manyof us to wrap our heads around.
(08:51):
Yet here I am saying it outloud, probably for the first
time in forever.
But remember when I said I wasfrom a small town, you'll never
convince me that small townsdon't produce the best of
friends, the kind of people thatwill be ride or die for life.
Thankfully, I had those friends.
I had incredible people whopicked me up when I got the call
(09:14):
about the fire.
Remember I was at work and Ihad no car.
I walked and ran everywhere Ineeded to be.
Running was my savior back thenand it still is today.
Anyway, those friends let mecrash on couches gave me clothes
to wear boy clothes, but stillclothes.
There was no such thing asGoFundMe back in my day and
honestly, I was also the kind ofperson who probably never would
(09:37):
have asked a stranger for help.
It was hard enough for me tolet my friends, the people who'd
known me my whole life in, butto this day their kindness
reminded me that I wasn'tcompletely alone in the things
they did for me.
I won't talk about them on here, but they know who they are and
they know that they have myfriendship for life.
(09:57):
Shifting gears a bit so I cancalm down a little bit.
I worked with a client a fewyears back for her 50th birthday
portrait session and she neededa headshot for a book she was
writing.
Needless to say, her portraitswere beautiful, her album was
amazing and she picked out thebest picture for her book cover.
She gave me a copy of that bookand told me it was probably one
(10:18):
of the best ways for her toprocess everything she'd gone
through.
And it hit me.
It's actually why I startedwriting my own book about my
life.
Who knows if it'll ever see thelight of day, but that and
talking about my struggles morerecently has honestly been the
start of a healing journey forme, something that I'd put off
for a very long time.
Trust me y'all, I am the queenof internalizing and just doing
(10:40):
the hard work to move on and getby.
So something I've only starteddigging into recently is the
trauma of growing up with aparent who struggled with
addiction.
There's a whole wealth ofknowledge out there about how
addiction affects children, andit's eye-opening to realize how
much it shaped who I am today.
I think back to those momentsof secrecy, the need to keep my
(11:03):
dad's struggles hidden from allmy friends in the outside world.
But looking back, I think a fewof them my ride or dies
probably knew what was going onand they still had my back.
That secrecy created a deepsense of shame that I carried
with me for a long time.
It's only now, as I begin toprocess those experiences, that
I see how much they influencedmy work ethic, my independence
(11:27):
and my drive to never rely onanyone else financially or
emotionally.
I'm a work in progress y'all.
The more I learn about theripple effects of growing up
with a parent with addiction,the more I realize how much of
myself has been shaped by thatexperience.
It's something I'm stillunpacking, but it's a huge
factor in why I approach lifethe way I do, with grit,
(11:48):
determination and a fierce senseof self-reliance.
Now, just like with everything,there are two sides of this
whole sharing thing story.
One is the side to do the workin silence so nobody judges you,
and the other is to shareauthentically.
I'll get more into this onanother podcast episode soon.
See how just doing the work andthis podcast thing has helped
(12:11):
me formulate my thoughts and getthem down out there in a way
that feels authentic to me.
I absolutely believe that noteveryone should have access to
you or your journey and,fortunately for me, for now not
many people listen to my podcast, so it's a safe place and no
one will probably ever know.
Anyway, moving on, let's getback on track, after talking a
(12:33):
little bit about hitting rockbottom and literally having
nothing or no one to fall backon but that gold credit card and
sheer determination, so I wantto share a little bit about the
hustle culture.
Until you have literally losteverything, it's hard for others
to understand why we hustle.
The hustle culture gets such abad rap these days, and I'm here
(12:56):
to tell you it's not a badthing.
For many of us, myself included, it's pure survival.
Hustle isn't about overworkingyourself for no reason.
It's about doing what you mustdo to make it through when the
odds are stacked against you.
Just saying that out loud makesme actually think I should do a
whole podcast episode on hustleculture, because there's so
(13:17):
much nuance to it.
See, the ideas just keeppresenting themselves to me as I
move along this journey, andthis one feels especially
important, so I think I'll doone on that soon.
There are far too many peoplewho've never had to rely solely
on themselves or who've had thesafety net of outside help and
don't get me wrong, that's not abad thing.
(13:37):
But when you haven'texperienced that kind of
pressure, it's easy to dismissthe hustle as unnecessarily
toxic.
Many times people are sofocused on their own experiences
that they fail to see theperspectives of others who grew
up differently or haddifferently than they have.
As an empath, I often findmyself seeing every side of an
(14:00):
argument or situation.
Even if I don't necessarilyagree, I can see other people's
points.
That's a blessing and a curse,because it means I'm constantly
weighing the nuances of life andthe choices people make.
I am an observer by nature and Itend constantly weighing the
nuances of life and the choicespeople make.
I am an observer by nature andI tend to observe the room and
don't say much until I reallyhave something to say.
(14:21):
I feel like I'm the queen ofunpopular opinions sometimes and
honestly I'm okay with that.
I don't shy away from sayingwhat I believe.
Trust me, the people who knowthat know that's true, even if
it goes against the grain.
And at the end of the day,hustle isn't one size fits all,
and neither is life.
Some people hustle becausethey're chasing dreams, others
(14:41):
hustle because they have nochoice.
Both are valid and if there'sone thing I've learned, it's
this Everyone's journey isdifferent, so we just need to
make space for those differenceswithout judgment.
So, moving on to the workingworld and starting at the bottom
up in my job, after graduatingwith degrees in both political
(15:03):
science and photography, and awhole lot of debt, I landed a
job at the Texas Senate.
If I thought college wasintimidating, this was a whole
new level.
Everyone seemed to haveconnections and I was often
asked the question who do youknow?
How do you get this job?
My answer was always the sameno one, even with a degree.
The pay was minimal and I wasshocked by how this job you need
(15:26):
a degree for this small amountof money, and that started
making me see the world in awhole different way.
A degree didn't mean much andit wasn't worth much.
I worked a second job at aclothing store in the mall to
afford the professional wardroberequired of me for my Senate
job.
I remember marveling at how easylife seemed for my peers while
(15:47):
I was barely scraping by.
Trust me, there were plenty ofbright spots along the way.
I had my share of fun, but Ialso moved into my first
apartment without a roommate andbought my first truck, had my
first vehicle of my life.
For the first time I hadcentral heat and air and being
able to control that thermostatfor myself felt like pure luxury
(16:09):
, a luxury I only dreamed aboutas a child and something that I
thought if I had this one day, Iknew I'd make I had made it in
life.
Another luxury for me nothaving to share a room with
anyone for the first time in mylife.
As a 22 year old Y'all, I grewup sharing beds with my siblings
growing up.
As I got older, I did have myown bed, but I'd never had my
(16:30):
own room until I was 22.
Again, all of this just iscondensed and definitely doesn't
go deep into so much of mymindset during this time.
But this isn't easy to share,so I'll keep chugging right
along.
Despite working two jobs, mostof my adult working career, I
knew I'd never really get aheadunless I built something of my
(16:50):
own.
I knew I'd never really getahead unless I built something
of my own.
Growing up, I'd promised myselfI would never rely on anyone
else financially and thatpromise fueled my decision to
start my photography business.
At the time, I was stillworking full-time, but I poured
every ounce of energy I had intobuilding my own dream.
Photography wasn't just a skillfor me, it was a calling.
I'd fallen in love with thepower of capturing moments, the
(17:14):
way a single photo couldpreserve a memory, a legacy or a
feeling.
When I started taking portraits,my goal was simple to help
people see their beauty andworth the way I saw it through
the lens of my camera.
Plus, I was working a job atthe time that did not respect me
.
I didn't get my paycheck afterreturning from vacation one time
(17:34):
, even though the owner had paidhimself, and he said to me
don't you have a man at home whocan pay your bills?
Talk about eye-opening y'all.
No one and I repeat, no one atwork cares about you.
It's just a job and you arereplaceable there.
So I walked and I never lookedback back and I started pouring
(17:54):
myself and every ounce of myheart into my business.
My business is where my heartwill always be, not a job
working to make somebody elselook good, and I can't stress
that enough.
Your job will replace you Lifeand your family.
Those are the people who willnever replace you.
So I was chugging along withthis little business of mine,
(18:17):
building that up prettysuccessfully by all the boxes
one would hope to check off, andthen, as life does, it throws
you more curveballs.
My curveballs, this time, camein the form of first my dad
getting cancer and beatingcancer, and then, five years
later, my mom having the samebattle.
And here we are today twoparents who fought like heck and
(18:41):
are still here again, verycondensed but moving right along
.
Through the encouragement of aphotographer friend who knew I
loved a certain brand and wasalways running, I unexpectedly
found myself as a run influencerfor a billion dollar brand.
This was a whole new challenge,y'all Learning to share my
story authentically whilenavigating the pressures of
(19:03):
being visible online.
As an introvert, it wasn't easy, but it taught me the
importance of finding and owningmy voice.
I'd always struggled to put myown business and my own name out
there into the world via socialmedia, but somehow it felt
safer doing it for awell-established brand that the
world already knew, liked andtrusted.
(19:23):
I was determined to learneverything I could and somehow
apply it in my own way to my ownbusiness, again where my heart
ultimately lies.
Being an influencer, though,also showed me the darker side
of social media and people andthe clickbait culture and the
constant judgment and theconstant pressure to show up and
look perfect, but it alsoreinforced my belief in staying
(19:46):
true to yourself.
I've learned that authenticityresonates far more than
perfection or pushing somethingyou don't believe in ever could,
and I vowed to stay true tomyself and only share what felt
authentic to me.
Of course, I danced on camera afew times and laughed at myself
a lot for it, things I sworeI'd never do.
Yet here I was learning to putmyself out of my comfort zone,
(20:09):
never take life or anything tooseriously.
It.
It should always be fun or atleast a learning experience.
That's how I approacheverything.
So, looking back, everychallenge I faced whether it was
growing up with limitedresources, working multiple jobs
or navigating the highs andlows of entrepreneurship it
shaped me into the person I amtoday.
(20:31):
I learned that success isn'tabout having an easy path or
having certain things orcrossing things off a list.
It's about having the courageto keep going, no matter how
hard it gets, to keep showing upand keep putting in the work.
It's learning to fall in lovewith the journey, not the
destination.
The destination hardly everchanges you, but the journey
(20:53):
along the way.
That's where the magic lies andit's in that greatness that
you'll be changed forever,probably for the better.
But also, starting from nothinggave me the freedom to take
risks because, honestly, whatdid I have to lose?
It's hard putting yourself outthere, but you know, if you've
got nothing to lose, what do youdo?
(21:13):
That mindset has carried methrough every step of this
journey, from building myphotography business to becoming
an educator, author and nowpodcaster.
What have I got to lose?
So what if no one listens tothis podcast?
As long as I'm having fun andlearning, then I'll keep at it.
And y'all, this is probably themost fun I've had recording
these podcast episodes, notkidding.
(21:36):
So the story behind the hustleisn't just about overcoming
obstacles.
It's about finding purpose inthe process.
It's about connecting with yourwhy, staying true to your voice
and believing in your abilityto create something meaningful.
No matter where you start andno matter how much you think the
odds are stacked against you.
You have to dig deep and youhave to find that determination
(21:58):
to survive.
So take a moment today toreflect on your own journey, the
setbacks, the triumphs and thelessons that have shaped you.
Write them down, own them, letthem guide you as you chase your
dreams and, for the love ofeverything, don't let what
anyone else say throw you offtrack or make you second guess,
following your own dreams.
(22:19):
Their experiences aren't yoursand not everyone will understand
you and what you're doing andguess what.
That's totally okay.
You are you and no one else canreplace that.
Thank you so much for tuning intoday into today's episode of
Living the Whole Picture.
If this episode resonated withyou in any way, please consider
subscribing, leaving me a reviewor sharing it with someone who
(22:42):
you might think might want tohear this.
Those are the little thingsthat help me reach more people
who just maybe might findsomething of value in any of my
own life experiences.
You can find me online onYouTube or Instagram @jamap
antel, and visit my website andsubscribe there at the bottom,
jamapantel.
com, where you'll get more tips,resources and updates on
(23:03):
anything that I have coming up.
Until the next time, keepchasing your dreams and living
the whole picture.
Hey y'all, welcome back to Living the Whole Picture
, the podcast where photography,business and inspiration
collide.
I'm your host, Jama Pantel, aluxury portrait photographer
turned educator, author,influencer and dream chaser.
Each week, we tackle topicsthat help you shine in front of
the camera, build confidence inyour brand and take bold steps
(00:28):
towards your biggest goals.
Whether you're here to refineyour photography skills, grow
your business or simply findinspiration to keep going,
you're in the right place.
They say most podcasts don'tmake it past seven episodes, so
I challenged myself to put outseven solo episodes before
sharing stories of others.
So for episode seven, I wantedto share my own story.
(00:49):
This isn't an easy story totell, but it's one I think many
of you can relate to, especiallythose of you that have felt
like you're starting fromnothing with the odds stacked
against you.
In this week's episode ofLiving the Whole Picture odds
stacked against you In thisweek's episode of Living the
Whole Picture, I'm gettingpersonal.
I'm sharing the raw, unfilteredstory of my hustle From growing
(01:13):
up in a small Texas town tolosing everything in college,
losing every safety net I everthought I had and starting over
Hustling to get out of creditcard and college tuition debt
and building a life and businesson my terms.
This episode is packed with thechallenges tuition, debt and
building a life and business onmy terms.
This episode is packed with thechallenges, triumphs and
lessons that shaped me.
Whether you're chasing bigdreams or just need a reminder
of why your story matters, thisis the episode for you.
(01:36):
Let's dive into my story, thestory behind the hustle.
I can't promise that tearswon't be shed Now, before we get
into my story, I wanted toshare a few core beliefs that
have shaped me.
Some of these are values Ilearned growing up.
Others are things I'vedeveloped through life's
challenges.
So my grandmother's had a wayof saying things that stuck with
(01:59):
me - In her sweet TexasSouthern drawl "a proper lady
should or my other grandmotherall you need is God and a good
pair of heels.
I can still hear their voicesin my head.
While I don't think I'm theepitome of a proper lady, those
sayings instill values thatguide me to this day.
So one thing I don't believe inis the idea of manifesting
(02:23):
without action.
Goals without plans are justdreams.
If someone tells you to justmanifest it and it'll come,
they're leaving out the mostimportant part the work.
I'm not some woo-woo girl.
I believe in taking thetangible steps to make things
happen even when the odds arestacked against you.
I've struggled with ways to getmy own voice heard, but I also
(02:46):
know that what I say has worth.
I resonate with those of youwho are willing to put in the
work and get to the core of theissues.
Plan and put in the work tomake things happen.
I've been put down by plenty ofmen, but the words and wounds
inflicted by women sting more.
Those experiences taught me tojudge people by how they treat
(03:06):
others, not by their status orachievements.
Being an empath, I've alwaysbeen sensitive to the emotions
of those around me, which hasshaped how I connect with people
and run my business, and mostof the time I feel like an
outsider.
But every now and then I meetsomeone who feels like my people
, and those connections remindme that I'm not alone.
(03:27):
If you take one thing away fromthis episode, let it be this
find your people.
They do exist.
You're not for everyone.
So, as I mentioned, I grew up ina small Texas town, on a ranch
shout out Chapman Ranchsurrounded by my family.
Life was simple we celebratedholidays, participated in school
(03:47):
events and spent most of ourtime with family.
My class from kindergarten tofifth grade only had five people
in it.
I really mean small - nostoplights.
I think we had one stop sign.
We grew up playing outside,getting dirty in the fields and
that was all we knew.
Wasn't much TV where I grew up,we got our knowledge from
(04:08):
reading books, magazines andencyclopedias.
Anybody remember those?
Ah the good old days.
But even as a kid I was verywell aware of adult struggles.
My mom worked tirelessly toprovide for us, juggling a
full-time job and all thetraditional roles expected of
her as a woman.
My dad was present and I knewhe loved us, but he wasn't the
(04:30):
provider.
My mom carried that load andresponsibility.
Watching my mom juggle so muchtaught me the value of hard work
.
I started helping out earlycooking, cleaning, packing
lunges, laundry all the thingsand helping take care of my
younger sisters.
Growing up fast was just a partof life.
I joked that I could easilytake care of a full family of
(04:51):
seven by the time I startedelementary school.
So when we moved to a slightlybigger town for junior high and
high school shout out Rivera,texas my parents bought their
first house.
It was a huge milestone, but italso brought financial strain.
By the time I graduated highschool, things were so tight
that my mom gave me an IOU formy graduation gift.
(05:12):
That piece of paper meant theworld to me because it showed me
how much she cared, even whenthere wasn't anything tangible
to give.
During high school, my dad wasarrested and placed on probation
, a detail I don't often share.
There were plenty of ups,obviously, in high school and
growing up in a small town andall the stories that I could
share with all my people, andthese experiences shaped a lot
(05:36):
of how I handle challenges.
I had my close group of friends, but it also taught me to keep
things to myself and just pushthrough, even when life felt
overwhelming.
My grandmother wrote the bestletter to the judge for my dad
and ultimately I think that'swhat kept him out of jail
originally.
And then my grandmother passedaway and my world slowly started
(05:58):
to change.
When I left for college, Ibrought a set of twin bedsheets,
a few pieces of clothes and notmuch else, as I didn't have
much else.
I had no car I had.
I mean, that was all I had.
I remember talking to my futureroommate prior to heading to
college and realizing I hadnothing to contribute to our
(06:19):
dorm room.
It was embarrassing, but I madedo.
College was my first taste ofindependence and I thought life
was about to get much easier.
Boy was I wrong.
I worked multiple jobs just tosurvive, while surrounded by
students who seemed to have itall Cars, clothes, parents
paying tuition and even in theday when computers weren't
(06:40):
really a thing, people hadcomputers.
During college, my dad wasarrested again for violating his
probation.
I happened to be visiting homewhen it happened, and seeing him
handcuffed and taken to jail isa memory I'll never forget and
something I don't wish on anyone.
I spent a whole year in collegelooking for space to be left
(07:01):
alone so I could write lettersto my dad in prison, something I
doubt most college kids had todeal with or can even relate to,
and not something I've reallyshared openly ever.
So shortly after my dad'sarrest, my mom filed for divorce
and we lost the house I hadcalled home during junior high
and high school.
Now, I would never try to tellmy sister's stories those are
(07:24):
their stories to tell but I feltlike my younger sisters were
left to fend for themselves andI felt torn between wanting to
drop everything to help them andknowing that staying in school
was the only way to build abetter future for all of us.
I still vividly remember thephone calls of them calling me
and crying, worrying about nothaving a home, living in a car
and I'm not talking a nice carand having no money for food or
(07:47):
gas.
It was a lot, and a lot oftears were shed and to this day
I will protect my sisters withmy life.
But then, as if life hadn'tthrown enough my way, my college
apartment burned down and Ilost everything, literally
everything -my clothes, mybelongings and even the
(08:09):
furniture from my grandparents.
For someone who already had solittle, it felt like rock bottom
.
I thought I took it pretty well, but I remember getting the
call telling me it happened.
I remember sifting through allthe rubble and ashes and finding
the three ring binder to mypicture portfolio.
(08:29):
We had negatives back then andthat's when it really hit me and
I really lost it and started tocry - I had nothing.
I already didn't have a car orsavings, so I started to rely on
credit cards just to get by.
Have you ever experiencedhomelessness and the
hopelessness of that?
It's a hard concept for so manyof us to wrap our heads around.
(08:51):
Yet here I am saying it outloud, probably for the first
time in forever.
But remember when I said I wasfrom a small town, you'll never
convince me that small townsdon't produce the best of
friends, the kind of people thatwill be ride or die for life.
Thankfully, I had those friends.
I had incredible people whopicked me up when I got the call
(09:14):
about the fire.
Remember I was at work and Ihad no car.
I walked and ran everywhere Ineeded to be.
Running was my savior back thenand it still is today.
Anyway, those friends let mecrash on couches gave me clothes
to wear boy clothes, but stillclothes.
There was no such thing asGoFundMe back in my day and
honestly, I was also the kind ofperson who probably never would
(09:37):
have asked a stranger for help.
It was hard enough for me tolet my friends, the people who'd
known me my whole life in, butto this day their kindness
reminded me that I wasn'tcompletely alone in the things
they did for me.
I won't talk about them on here, but they know who they are and
they know that they have myfriendship for life.
(09:57):
Shifting gears a bit so I cancalm down a little bit.
I worked with a client a fewyears back for her 50th birthday
portrait session and she neededa headshot for a book she was
writing.
Needless to say, her portraitswere beautiful, her album was
amazing and she picked out thebest picture for her book cover.
She gave me a copy of that bookand told me it was probably one
(10:18):
of the best ways for her toprocess everything she'd gone
through.
And it hit me.
It's actually why I startedwriting my own book about my
life.
Who knows if it'll ever see thelight of day, but that and
talking about my struggles morerecently has honestly been the
start of a healing journey forme, something that I'd put off
for a very long time.
Trust me y'all, I am the queenof internalizing and just doing
(10:40):
the hard work to move on and getby.
So something I've only starteddigging into recently is the
trauma of growing up with aparent who struggled with
addiction.
There's a whole wealth ofknowledge out there about how
addiction affects children, andit's eye-opening to realize how
much it shaped who I am today.
I think back to those momentsof secrecy, the need to keep my
(11:03):
dad's struggles hidden from allmy friends in the outside world.
But looking back, I think a fewof them my ride or dies
probably knew what was going onand they still had my back.
That secrecy created a deepsense of shame that I carried
with me for a long time.
It's only now, as I begin toprocess those experiences, that
I see how much they influencedmy work ethic, my independence
(11:27):
and my drive to never rely onanyone else financially or
emotionally.
I'm a work in progress y'all.
The more I learn about theripple effects of growing up
with a parent with addiction,the more I realize how much of
myself has been shaped by thatexperience.
It's something I'm stillunpacking, but it's a huge
factor in why I approach lifethe way I do, with grit,
(11:48):
determination and a fierce senseof self-reliance.
Now, just like with everything,there are two sides of this
whole sharing thing story.
One is the side to do the workin silence so nobody judges you,
and the other is to shareauthentically.
I'll get more into this onanother podcast episode soon.
See how just doing the work andthis podcast thing has helped
(12:11):
me formulate my thoughts and getthem down out there in a way
that feels authentic to me.
I absolutely believe that noteveryone should have access to
you or your journey and,fortunately for me, for now not
many people listen to my podcast, so it's a safe place and no
one will probably ever know.
Anyway, moving on, let's getback on track, after talking a
(12:33):
little bit about hitting rockbottom and literally having
nothing or no one to fall backon but that gold credit card and
sheer determination, so I wantto share a little bit about the
hustle culture.
Until you have literally losteverything, it's hard for others
to understand why we hustle.
The hustle culture gets such abad rap these days, and I'm here
(12:56):
to tell you it's not a badthing.
For many of us, myself included, it's pure survival.
Hustle isn't about overworkingyourself for no reason.
It's about doing what you mustdo to make it through when the
odds are stacked against you.
Just saying that out loud makesme actually think I should do a
whole podcast episode on hustleculture, because there's so
(13:17):
much nuance to it.
See, the ideas just keeppresenting themselves to me as I
move along this journey, andthis one feels especially
important, so I think I'll doone on that soon.
There are far too many peoplewho've never had to rely solely
on themselves or who've had thesafety net of outside help and
don't get me wrong, that's not abad thing.
(13:37):
But when you haven'texperienced that kind of
pressure, it's easy to dismissthe hustle as unnecessarily
toxic.
Many times people are sofocused on their own experiences
that they fail to see theperspectives of others who grew
up differently or haddifferently than they have.
As an empath, I often findmyself seeing every side of an
(14:00):
argument or situation.
Even if I don't necessarilyagree, I can see other people's
points.
That's a blessing and a curse,because it means I'm constantly
weighing the nuances of life andthe choices people make.
I am an observer by nature and Itend constantly weighing the
nuances of life and the choicespeople make.
I am an observer by nature andI tend to observe the room and
don't say much until I reallyhave something to say.
(14:21):
I feel like I'm the queen ofunpopular opinions sometimes and
honestly I'm okay with that.
I don't shy away from sayingwhat I believe.
Trust me, the people who knowthat know that's true, even if
it goes against the grain.
And at the end of the day,hustle isn't one size fits all,
and neither is life.
Some people hustle becausethey're chasing dreams, others
(14:41):
hustle because they have nochoice.
Both are valid and if there'sone thing I've learned, it's
this Everyone's journey isdifferent, so we just need to
make space for those differenceswithout judgment.
So, moving on to the workingworld and starting at the bottom
up in my job, after graduatingwith degrees in both political
(15:03):
science and photography, and awhole lot of debt, I landed a
job at the Texas Senate.
If I thought college wasintimidating, this was a whole
new level.
Everyone seemed to haveconnections and I was often
asked the question who do youknow?
How do you get this job?
My answer was always the sameno one, even with a degree.
The pay was minimal and I wasshocked by how this job you need
(15:26):
a degree for this small amountof money, and that started
making me see the world in awhole different way.
A degree didn't mean much andit wasn't worth much.
I worked a second job at aclothing store in the mall to
afford the professional wardroberequired of me for my Senate
job.
I remember marveling at how easylife seemed for my peers while
(15:47):
I was barely scraping by.
Trust me, there were plenty ofbright spots along the way.
I had my share of fun, but Ialso moved into my first
apartment without a roommate andbought my first truck, had my
first vehicle of my life.
For the first time I hadcentral heat and air and being
able to control that thermostatfor myself felt like pure luxury
(16:09):
, a luxury I only dreamed aboutas a child and something that I
thought if I had this one day, Iknew I'd make I had made it in
life.
Another luxury for me nothaving to share a room with
anyone for the first time in mylife.
As a 22 year old Y'all, I grewup sharing beds with my siblings
growing up.
As I got older, I did have myown bed, but I'd never had my
(16:30):
own room until I was 22.
Again, all of this just iscondensed and definitely doesn't
go deep into so much of mymindset during this time.
But this isn't easy to share,so I'll keep chugging right
along.
Despite working two jobs, mostof my adult working career, I
knew I'd never really get aheadunless I built something of my
(16:50):
own.
I knew I'd never really getahead unless I built something
of my own.
Growing up, I'd promised myselfI would never rely on anyone
else financially and thatpromise fueled my decision to
start my photography business.
At the time, I was stillworking full-time, but I poured
every ounce of energy I had intobuilding my own dream.
Photography wasn't just a skillfor me, it was a calling.
I'd fallen in love with thepower of capturing moments, the
(17:14):
way a single photo couldpreserve a memory, a legacy or a
feeling.
When I started taking portraits,my goal was simple to help
people see their beauty andworth the way I saw it through
the lens of my camera.
Plus, I was working a job atthe time that did not respect me
.
I didn't get my paycheck afterreturning from vacation one time
(17:34):
, even though the owner had paidhimself, and he said to me
don't you have a man at home whocan pay your bills?
Talk about eye-opening y'all.
No one and I repeat, no one atwork cares about you.
It's just a job and you arereplaceable there.
So I walked and I never lookedback back and I started pouring
(17:54):
myself and every ounce of myheart into my business.
My business is where my heartwill always be, not a job
working to make somebody elselook good, and I can't stress
that enough.
Your job will replace you Lifeand your family.
Those are the people who willnever replace you.
So I was chugging along withthis little business of mine,
(18:17):
building that up prettysuccessfully by all the boxes
one would hope to check off, andthen, as life does, it throws
you more curveballs.
My curveballs, this time, camein the form of first my dad
getting cancer and beatingcancer, and then, five years
later, my mom having the samebattle.
And here we are today twoparents who fought like heck and
(18:41):
are still here again, verycondensed but moving right along
.
Through the encouragement of aphotographer friend who knew I
loved a certain brand and wasalways running, I unexpectedly
found myself as a run influencerfor a billion dollar brand.
This was a whole new challenge,y'all Learning to share my
story authentically whilenavigating the pressures of
(19:03):
being visible online.
As an introvert, it wasn't easy, but it taught me the
importance of finding and owningmy voice.
I'd always struggled to put myown business and my own name out
there into the world via socialmedia, but somehow it felt
safer doing it for awell-established brand that the
world already knew, liked andtrusted.
(19:23):
I was determined to learneverything I could and somehow
apply it in my own way to my ownbusiness, again where my heart
ultimately lies.
Being an influencer, though,also showed me the darker side
of social media and people andthe clickbait culture and the
constant judgment and theconstant pressure to show up and
look perfect, but it alsoreinforced my belief in staying
(19:46):
true to yourself.
I've learned that authenticityresonates far more than
perfection or pushing somethingyou don't believe in ever could,
and I vowed to stay true tomyself and only share what felt
authentic to me.
Of course, I danced on camera afew times and laughed at myself
a lot for it, things I sworeI'd never do.
Yet here I was learning to putmyself out of my comfort zone,
(20:09):
never take life or anything tooseriously.
It.
It should always be fun or atleast a learning experience.
That's how I approacheverything.
So, looking back, everychallenge I faced whether it was
growing up with limitedresources, working multiple jobs
or navigating the highs andlows of entrepreneurship it
shaped me into the person I amtoday.
(20:31):
I learned that success isn'tabout having an easy path or
having certain things orcrossing things off a list.
It's about having the courageto keep going, no matter how
hard it gets, to keep showing upand keep putting in the work.
It's learning to fall in lovewith the journey, not the
destination.
The destination hardly everchanges you, but the journey
(20:53):
along the way.
That's where the magic lies andit's in that greatness that
you'll be changed forever,probably for the better.
But also, starting from nothinggave me the freedom to take
risks because, honestly, whatdid I have to lose?
It's hard putting yourself outthere, but you know, if you've
got nothing to lose, what do youdo?
(21:13):
That mindset has carried methrough every step of this
journey, from building myphotography business to becoming
an educator, author and nowpodcaster.
What have I got to lose?
So what if no one listens tothis podcast?
As long as I'm having fun andlearning, then I'll keep at it.
And y'all, this is probably themost fun I've had recording
these podcast episodes, notkidding.
(21:36):
So the story behind the hustleisn't just about overcoming
obstacles.
It's about finding purpose inthe process.
It's about connecting with yourwhy, staying true to your voice
and believing in your abilityto create something meaningful.
No matter where you start andno matter how much you think the
odds are stacked against you.
You have to dig deep and youhave to find that determination
(21:58):
to survive.
So take a moment today toreflect on your own journey, the
setbacks, the triumphs and thelessons that have shaped you.
Write them down, own them, letthem guide you as you chase your
dreams and, for the love ofeverything, don't let what
anyone else say throw you offtrack or make you second guess,
following your own dreams.
(22:19):
Their experiences aren't yoursand not everyone will understand
you and what you're doing andguess what.
That's totally okay.
You are you and no one else canreplace that.
Thank you so much for tuning intoday into today's episode of
Living the Whole Picture.
If this episode resonated withyou in any way, please consider
subscribing, leaving me a reviewor sharing it with someone who
(22:42):
you might think might want tohear this.
Those are the little thingsthat help me reach more people
who just maybe might findsomething of value in any of my
own life experiences.
You can find me online onYouTube or Instagram @jamap
antel, and visit my website andsubscribe there at the bottom,
jamapantel.
com, where you'll get more tips,resources and updates on
(23:03):
anything that I have coming up.
Until the next time, keepchasing your dreams and living
the whole picture.
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