May 6, 2024 • 25 mins
While There’s been a spotlight on the clit in the sex-positive and pleasure-positive world for a while now, many still don’t know how to touch it in a way that will bring a woman to orgasm. In this episode, I walk you through 20 Techniques you can use to touch a clitoris that will bring a woman or person with a clit to orgasm. This episode is perfect for anyone with a clit, even those who may think their clit is too sensitive to be touched.
Some of the techniques you'll be learning include:
Tapping
Orbiting
Broadening
The Hail Mary
Pinching
Layering
Staging
And more.
Refer to my podcast on Fingering here https://youtu.be/UZKc9m_6zrE
And how to give a yoni massage here https://youtu.be/r_GBSSvdvWw
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
do the sex.
Welcome to Masturbation Mondaywith me, annette Benedetti, your
host for Locker Room Talk andChats.
This is your invitation to joinme for coffee in bed and a
candid conversation about themasturbation practice I'm
developing to support my mental,physical and emotional health
and help manifest my dreams.
(00:20):
Masturbation Monday is a guideto self-pleasure, better sex and
using the power of the pussy toopen new doors to a better life
.
Today's Masturbation Mondaytopic is 20 ways to touch and
play with a clit that will makeher beg for more and come really
(00:42):
hard.
I'm going beyond the basics,folks.
Recently I have shared with youa guide to fingering.
If you have not listened tothat episode, scroll down.
I'm going to link it below.
I went in depth.
I also shared with you how togive an incredible yoni, aka
pussy, massage.
I'm going to link that below aswell, because you're going to
(01:03):
want to refer to both of themNow.
The clitoris has gained a lot ofattention recently in the
women's sexual empowerment world, in the pleasure positive world
and just in the sexual world,where people care more about
their own pleasure and theirpartner's pleasure.
And while there's been aspotlight on the clitoris and
(01:24):
what it is and how to touch itand play with it in a way that
(01:48):
brings about crazy orgasms.
And today I'm going to go over20 of those techniques with you
so that you can use them toexplore your own body or your
partner's body and really changeand upgrade your sex life.
So let's get ready to talkabout the clitoris and
(02:09):
incredible orgasms, cheers.
Now, before we get started,just to be clear, today we are
talking about the glans clitorisand that's the part of the
clitoris most of us know about.
The glans clitoris is the mostvisible part of the clitoris
most of us know about.
The glans clitoris is the mostvisible part of the clitoris.
It's located at the top of thevulva, it is right above the
(02:30):
urethra and right below thepubic bone.
Now, if you are listening tothis on my audio only podcast,
you can go over to my visualpodcast on YouTube.
It's at Annette Benedetti, andI'm going to do my best with my
hand and this little beautifulpearl earring to give you a
(02:53):
visual representation of wherethe clit is before we get
started.
I would love to use bettervisual representation, but
unfortunately YouTube can be alittle bit picky about things
like that.
So my hand palm up, fingersdown is going to represent the
pubic bone, which is my palm, myfingers, my two fingers on the
(03:17):
outside.
My pointer finger and my pinkyfinger are the outer labia, my
middle finger and my ring fingerare the inner labia and the
clitoris.
Being this little pearl isright up here in between, at the
top of the inner labia, rightbelow the pubic bone.
Now it has, in real life, ahood over it and then the
(03:41):
urethra is right under it.
The urethra, of course, iswhere we pee out of just making
sure we're all on the same page.
We are going to be talkingabout how to play with this
little pearl today, so let'slaunch into my 20 tips.
So the very first one is thesame one that I talked about in
(04:03):
the fingering video Take care ofyour hands first.
Wash them, make sure yourfingernails are clean and
trimmed so there's no edges thatare going to snag on her skin.
The skin of the vulva,especially the clitoris itself,
is super, super sensitive and itcan get hurt very easily, like
(04:24):
a little callus on yourfingertip can make it raw in one
rub.
So take care of your hands inadvance.
A lot of women even say it'sjust a huge turn on when their
person, whether man or woman,will go and wash their hands
before they're going to playwith their vulva and their
clitoris specifically.
(04:46):
My second tip I also talk aboutall the time, but I'm going to
mention it again here is get agood lube.
So a good lube is differentthan just any lube.
I know it's tempting to rundown to the grocery store and
grab KY jelly or Astro Glide.
I implore you to go next levelwith your lube.
(05:09):
The price is often notdifferent at all, but the
quality of lube is better.
Some of those store brand lubesleave sticky residue or just
disappear quickly when you areplaying with a partner.
If you have a high quality lube, it's going to last longer.
It's going to feel so muchsexier and better, especially on
(05:33):
the clit.
So I'm going to give you acouple examples of lubes that
you should consider getting.
Wicked is a fantastic brand.
It has every kind of lube thatyou could ever want, from a
water-based lube to hybridsilicone and water-based lube,
which is thicker and lastslonger.
They also have a line of lubesfor women who are 40 and up and
(05:56):
may have a harder time gettinglubricated, which is very cool.
Fun Factory, which is, course,one of my favorite places to
shop has a new lube out calledstill I think that's how you
pronounce it Uh, uh, incredible.
Lasts forever.
Feels sexy on the skin.
(06:17):
You can use my code S E L S 20for 20% off of it.
Another lube that I absolutelylove comes in a big bottle.
I use it all the time,especially when I'm using toys
is gleam lube, uh, and you canget it at the thrustercom for
30% off with my code explores30,.
(06:37):
Whatever you do, research yourlubes.
If you've signed up for mye-newsletter, I send out lots of
information on great lubes toget.
Keep them stocked up when youplay with a clit.
This is not something that'sgoing to be done in two minutes.
Women take, at minimum, 15, 16,17 minutes to come at maximum.
(07:01):
You could be in this game for agood half hour or more.
If you want to really get heroff, it's going to require a lot
of lube.
Do not rely on cheap lubes oryour spit.
Also, don't use your salivawhen playing with a woman's
pussy without asking first.
That's an extra tip right there.
(07:21):
Tip number three approach thepussy slowly.
Don't just dive into anintimate experience with a woman
by jamming your finger ontowhere you think her clitoris is,
or even if you're looking rightat it.
Don't just go straight for theclitoris.
Warm her up, starting withmaybe her breasts or long, slow
(07:45):
strokes over her belly, workingyour way down to her inner
thighs, maybe her outer labia.
First, really get her warmed up, take time, show attention,
approach the clit slowly.
If you go in hard when it'scold and she's not warmed up,
those nerves are very sensitiveand it could actually be painful
(08:09):
to her.
And once you have hurt the clit, she's likely to shut down and
just be done with you alltogether.
She's likely to shut down andjust be done with you all
together.
Getting her excited again afterthat, that's a whole different
chore.
We'll have to do a video onthat later.
Okay, while we are speakingabout clitorises being super
(08:29):
sensitive and getting hurteasily, some women and people
with clitorises can't handledirect stimulation on the clit
Well.
So what do you do then?
If the clit is the key to herorgasm?
What do you do if she says it'stoo much or it hurts, or it's
just overstimulating and shedoesn't like her clit touched?
(08:50):
There are solutions for that.
So my next several tips arearound indirect stimulation to
the clit that will get her toorgasm.
The very first technique I wantto talk about for people who
cannot handle direct stimulationon their clit is layering.
Layering is basically touchingand playing with the clit
through the layers of skinaround it, being the hood, the
(09:14):
inner labia and the outer labiaand I'm going to break these
down.
One of the ways you can goabout stimulating her clit
without touching it directly isusing the hood of the clit,
touching it through the hood ofthe clit, so that's going to be
located at the top of the pearl,right below the pubic bone, and
(09:35):
you can just use that hood torub it.
The next technique you can useis using the inner labia to rub
and excite the clitoris.
Now, if you go back to mypodcast on fingering, I talk
about rolling and basically youuse your fingers in a snapping
(09:57):
position and you put it oneither side of those inner lips
and you move your fingers in asnapping motion and it rolls the
flesh in between so you cantake hold of those inner labia
with the clit between them.
Add pressure a little bit of apinching, pressure them.
Add pressure a little bit of apinching pressure.
Be careful, don't pinch toohard.
(10:19):
Be in communication to see whatfeels good to her and what
doesn't, and then do thatsnapping or rolling motion.
There's different ways you canplay with the clit through the
inner labia, but that's one waythat's like a nice little
massage and can get her veryexcited.
Similarly, a nice littlemassage and can get her very
(10:40):
excited.
Similarly, you can actuallystart from the outside of the
outer labia and sort of pinchthem in and around it and
massage it.
Then those different layers ofskin are going to massage the
clit and it gives her thisreally yummy grinding sensation.
Now you can also use thesetechniques on women who actually
enjoy direct stimulation to theclit.
(11:01):
This is a great way just to gether warmed up and ready for,
and possibly asking for, more.
Another super effective way tostimulate the clitoris without
touching it directly is orbiting.
You're basically going to takeyour finger and you're going to
move around the outside of theclit without ever going directly
(11:22):
on it or over it, but youstimulate the skin that's all
around it.
So you're going to go over thehood down and around it.
You may breeze by the use spot.
Those circles can be bigger orsmaller and closer to the
exposed clit depending on hersensitivity and I would ask her
for feedback.
(11:42):
Again, I personally alwayssuggest, when you want feedback,
give her yes and no questions,because if you start asking her
which direction do you want meto go, or how does this feel,
then she gets out of her bodyand into her analytical mind,
which really can pull her awayfrom being orgasmic.
I can't stand it when thathappens to me, when I'm dropping
(12:04):
into my body and trying toreally feel, and someone asked
me a question that requires anextended answer.
So does this feel good?
Would you like me to go closerto your clit?
Would you like it farther away?
Yes, no, yes, no, that keeps itsexy.
So now let's move into directstimulation to the clit.
(12:26):
My first tip is A you want togo slow and you want to explore
and you want to experiment withpressure.
Some women are going to prefera lighter amount of pressure.
Some women really like to haveit rubbed hard.
Do not start at rubbing reallyhard.
(12:46):
A it can cause pain right offthe bat and turn her off.
And B it's just also reallysexy to have that teasing soft
feeling to start.
So the next technique I want totalk about is called broadening
, instead of using just yoursingle fingertip, or even two
fingertips to start exploringand touching the clitoris.
(13:10):
Consider using three or four,even your palm, to stimulate the
clitoris and get her warmed up.
First of all, she's not goingto be overstimulated with that
pinpoint precision tip of yourfingertip and it also allows her
to see where things are feelinggood.
(13:32):
It's also a nice warming uptechnique.
The next technique I like tocall the Hail Mary.
I made that up myself.
I'm an ex-Catholic school girlso it just made sense to me.
The Hail Mary is doing the upand down and back and forth
motion on the clitoris.
So it looks a little bit likemaking the sign of the cross to
(13:54):
me, truly an ex-Catholic schoolgirl.
Sorry, sorry for all youreligious folks out there, but
you're going to go up and downand then back and forth over the
clitoris.
It's like sort of your standardmove on the clitoris it's up
and down, back and forth.
(14:15):
The next technique to try and Iactually really love this one
because it can start really softand build is tapping.
So you can take one, two, threefingers, whatever, even four
fingers, right over the clitorisand tap on it.
Start with this little softtapping motion and that can
really build.
And if you are into BDSM orlight BDSM, it can turn into,
(14:40):
you know, a little pussyspanking, which can be exciting
to some people.
Do not go to that without priorconsent or prior conversation
or unless she's communicating.
I'd like it harder.
Do you want it harder?
Yes, do you want it harder?
Yes, so that's tapping, akaspanking.
Another super sexy techniquethat you can use, either with
(15:01):
your bare hands or with clotheson, is grinding, so you can take
the palm of your hand over thetop of the clitoris and grind or
let her grind against you.
You can also play with this indifferent positions.
She can get on you and grind onyour thigh.
You can have clothes on and dosome kind of dry humping and
(15:23):
grinding.
But for the sake of thisconversation, we're going to say
clothes are off and you'reconcentrating on the clit.
You're just going to use yourhand, your fingers, the pads of
your fingers to grind againstthat clitoris.
If she likes this one,guaranteed she'll start moving
in sync with you.
So the next technique ispinching.
(15:45):
Pinching.
So you are going to pinch theclit.
Now.
We've talked about doing thisthrough the hood, pretty much.
We've talked about doing itthrough the labia minora and the
labia majora, but you can alsodo this rolling and pinching
right on the clit.
Now, before you get into this,make sure a she's up for it and
(16:08):
she's not someone who's toosensitive.
B your fingers and her clit arecovered in really thick, yummy
lube to protect her from anyrough spots you might have on
your finger.
But this can be very intense.
So either you pinch and holdand just apply pressure,
whatever kind of pressure shelikes, or you pinch and you can
(16:28):
do a little bit of a pulsingmotion to let that blood flow in
and out of the clit and reallyget her worked up.
Now another technique that youmay have heard of and was
popularized in a practice calledorgasmic meditation is
stimulating the upper left-handquadrant of the clitoris.
(16:50):
Now, according to some, this isone of the most sensitive areas
of the clit.
I haven't personally noticedthat myself, but I will be
honest and I haven't fullypracticed orgasmic meditation.
But you can go to that upperleft hand quadrant of the
clitoris and massage itspecifically, and it may in and
(17:15):
of itself bring her to orgasm.
So we're to my 16th tip, andit's called accenting.
Some women find that there arecertain places on their clit
that just are more arousing tothem and that when they are
stimulating their clit, thatapplying more pressure to those
areas feels better.
(17:37):
So let's say you are orbitingaround her clit and you get to
one part of the clit and shelikes it most there.
You can orbit around lightlyand when you get to that area,
add pressure, orbit around,release a little bit so the
touch is lighter as you moveaway from it and when you get to
(17:58):
it, accent, touch in that extrasensitive area.
You can do this with your upand down motion as well.
If you are doing the Hail Maryand let's say you're just doing
the up and down motion of theHail Mary and you notice that at
the top of her clit she's moreexcited when you go up and you
come back down, accent, addpressure on the down swipe,
(18:21):
lighten up, go back up and thenaccent more pressure on the down
swipe.
This also gives a variedsensation.
It mixes up what you're feeling.
You're getting some lightwhispery sensations and you're
getting some deep grindingsensations when you do the
accenting.
My 17th technique I think is oneof the most important.
(18:41):
It's called staging.
I think it's one of the mostimportant if you are in for the
long haul and you want to giveher an orgasm.
Because, as I said at thebeginning, this is not a one
minute endeavor.
This is going to happen over aperiod of time and staging is
basically adhering to a woman'sbody changes as she gets more
(19:02):
aroused.
So what she may like in thewarming up stage let's say some
of the grinding stuff, thepinching of the outer labia, the
inner labia isn't going tonecessarily be what she wants as
she starts to reach climax orgets closer to it.
As she gets closer, she maywant you to do orbiting, or she
(19:23):
may want tapping, whatever it is.
Whatever it is, you are goingto want to follow that staging
and learn how to, either on yourown body or with a partner,
change up what you're doing asshe's getting closer and closer
to orgasm.
Sometimes you got to change itup and that's going to require
(19:46):
some communication.
If you are partnered or you'redoing it to yourself and you're
doing the thing and it's notgetting you there, it gets you
close but not over the edge.
Maybe it's because you need tochange it up and try something
else that's more intense or lessintense and gets you there.
(20:06):
So that's what staging is.
It's basically bringingtogether all of these different
techniques and learning when andhow to use them according to
her stages of orgasmicexcitement and, hopefully,
satisfaction.
Techniques 18, 19, and 20 areabout what you can use to
(20:27):
stimulate the clit outside ofyour fingers, and I think it's
super important to use how touse what you have first, meaning
your fingers and your hands.
They are going to be some ofyour best tools At least they
should be but we're going tomove on to other things.
Obviously, you can do a lot ofthese things with your tongue
and your mouth as well.
(20:48):
A lot of them, these things,with your tongue and your mouth
as well.
A lot of them, most of them,actually, when I think about it.
So you can up her excitement.
If you've been doing all thesetechniques and she's really
getting there, you can ask herif she'd like you to use your
mouth and then take your mouthdown there and do them again.
Number 19, toys.
Remember toys are your friend.
(21:10):
They are not in competitionwith you.
There are a lot of amazing toysout there that are designed
specifically for the clitoris Ifyou've been using your finger
for a while and she wants to trysomething else, or you want to
try something else.
Get a good vibrating toy orclit sucking toy, but in this
(21:31):
case, using a vibrator to focuson discovering your clit can be
really, really useful.
Number 20, other body parts.
So you can also stimulate theclitoris with other body parts
If you are in a partneredsituation.
Like I said earlier, you cangrind against a thigh.
You can, if you're partnered,grind against another vulva.
(21:55):
If your partner is a man or hasa penis, the penis can be used
to do a lot of these techniques.
You can actually use the tip ofthe penis to do some orbiting,
to do the Hail Mary, and theawesome thing about this is then
both of you are gettingpleasure out of it and in some
cases, you both may be broughtto orgasm without ever
(22:18):
experiencing penetration.
So those are my 20 tips.
If you have a question aboutthem, a comment, one you think I
missed I want you to let meknow If you're on my YouTube
channel, think I missed.
I want you to let me know ifyou're on my YouTube channel.
Just drop a comment below thevideo and I will check it out
and look at adding it to my list.
You can also email me atAnnette at she explores lifecom.
(22:42):
I hope these 20 tips help youin your exploration of your own
clitoris, in your exploration ofyour partner's clitoris, and
that you all get to startenjoying more orgasms tonight.
So until next time I'll see youin the locker room.
Cheers.
do the sex.
Welcome to Masturbation Mondaywith me, annette Benedetti, your
host for Locker Room Talk andChats.
This is your invitation to joinme for coffee in bed and a
candid conversation about themasturbation practice I'm
developing to support my mental,physical and emotional health
and help manifest my dreams.
(00:20):
Masturbation Monday is a guideto self-pleasure, better sex and
using the power of the pussy toopen new doors to a better life
.
Today's Masturbation Mondaytopic is 20 ways to touch and
play with a clit that will makeher beg for more and come really
(00:42):
hard.
I'm going beyond the basics,folks.
Recently I have shared with youa guide to fingering.
If you have not listened tothat episode, scroll down.
I'm going to link it below.
I went in depth.
I also shared with you how togive an incredible yoni, aka
pussy, massage.
I'm going to link that below aswell, because you're going to
(01:03):
want to refer to both of themNow.
The clitoris has gained a lot ofattention recently in the
women's sexual empowerment world, in the pleasure positive world
and just in the sexual world,where people care more about
their own pleasure and theirpartner's pleasure.
And while there's been aspotlight on the clitoris and
(01:24):
what it is and how to touch itand play with it in a way that
(01:48):
brings about crazy orgasms.
And today I'm going to go over20 of those techniques with you
so that you can use them toexplore your own body or your
partner's body and really changeand upgrade your sex life.
So let's get ready to talkabout the clitoris and
(02:09):
incredible orgasms, cheers.
Now, before we get started,just to be clear, today we are
talking about the glans clitorisand that's the part of the
clitoris most of us know about.
The glans clitoris is the mostvisible part of the clitoris
most of us know about.
The glans clitoris is the mostvisible part of the clitoris.
It's located at the top of thevulva, it is right above the
(02:30):
urethra and right below thepubic bone.
Now, if you are listening tothis on my audio only podcast,
you can go over to my visualpodcast on YouTube.
It's at Annette Benedetti, andI'm going to do my best with my
hand and this little beautifulpearl earring to give you a
(02:53):
visual representation of wherethe clit is before we get
started.
I would love to use bettervisual representation, but
unfortunately YouTube can be alittle bit picky about things
like that.
So my hand palm up, fingersdown is going to represent the
pubic bone, which is my palm, myfingers, my two fingers on the
(03:17):
outside.
My pointer finger and my pinkyfinger are the outer labia, my
middle finger and my ring fingerare the inner labia and the
clitoris.
Being this little pearl isright up here in between, at the
top of the inner labia, rightbelow the pubic bone.
Now it has, in real life, ahood over it and then the
(03:41):
urethra is right under it.
The urethra, of course, iswhere we pee out of just making
sure we're all on the same page.
We are going to be talkingabout how to play with this
little pearl today, so let'slaunch into my 20 tips.
So the very first one is thesame one that I talked about in
(04:03):
the fingering video Take care ofyour hands first.
Wash them, make sure yourfingernails are clean and
trimmed so there's no edges thatare going to snag on her skin.
The skin of the vulva,especially the clitoris itself,
is super, super sensitive and itcan get hurt very easily, like
(04:24):
a little callus on yourfingertip can make it raw in one
rub.
So take care of your hands inadvance.
A lot of women even say it'sjust a huge turn on when their
person, whether man or woman,will go and wash their hands
before they're going to playwith their vulva and their
clitoris specifically.
(04:46):
My second tip I also talk aboutall the time, but I'm going to
mention it again here is get agood lube.
So a good lube is differentthan just any lube.
I know it's tempting to rundown to the grocery store and
grab KY jelly or Astro Glide.
I implore you to go next levelwith your lube.
(05:09):
The price is often notdifferent at all, but the
quality of lube is better.
Some of those store brand lubesleave sticky residue or just
disappear quickly when you areplaying with a partner.
If you have a high quality lube, it's going to last longer.
It's going to feel so muchsexier and better, especially on
(05:33):
the clit.
So I'm going to give you acouple examples of lubes that
you should consider getting.
Wicked is a fantastic brand.
It has every kind of lube thatyou could ever want, from a
water-based lube to hybridsilicone and water-based lube,
which is thicker and lastslonger.
They also have a line of lubesfor women who are 40 and up and
(05:56):
may have a harder time gettinglubricated, which is very cool.
Fun Factory, which is, course,one of my favorite places to
shop has a new lube out calledstill I think that's how you
pronounce it Uh, uh, incredible.
Lasts forever.
Feels sexy on the skin.
(06:17):
You can use my code S E L S 20for 20% off of it.
Another lube that I absolutelylove comes in a big bottle.
I use it all the time,especially when I'm using toys
is gleam lube, uh, and you canget it at the thrustercom for
30% off with my code explores30,.
(06:37):
Whatever you do, research yourlubes.
If you've signed up for mye-newsletter, I send out lots of
information on great lubes toget.
Keep them stocked up when youplay with a clit.
This is not something that'sgoing to be done in two minutes.
Women take, at minimum, 15, 16,17 minutes to come at maximum.
(07:01):
You could be in this game for agood half hour or more.
If you want to really get heroff, it's going to require a lot
of lube.
Do not rely on cheap lubes oryour spit.
Also, don't use your salivawhen playing with a woman's
pussy without asking first.
That's an extra tip right there.
(07:21):
Tip number three approach thepussy slowly.
Don't just dive into anintimate experience with a woman
by jamming your finger ontowhere you think her clitoris is,
or even if you're looking rightat it.
Don't just go straight for theclitoris.
Warm her up, starting withmaybe her breasts or long, slow
(07:45):
strokes over her belly, workingyour way down to her inner
thighs, maybe her outer labia.
First, really get her warmed up, take time, show attention,
approach the clit slowly.
If you go in hard when it'scold and she's not warmed up,
those nerves are very sensitiveand it could actually be painful
(08:09):
to her.
And once you have hurt the clit, she's likely to shut down and
just be done with you alltogether.
She's likely to shut down andjust be done with you all
together.
Getting her excited again afterthat, that's a whole different
chore.
We'll have to do a video onthat later.
Okay, while we are speakingabout clitorises being super
(08:29):
sensitive and getting hurteasily, some women and people
with clitorises can't handledirect stimulation on the clit
Well.
So what do you do then?
If the clit is the key to herorgasm?
What do you do if she says it'stoo much or it hurts, or it's
just overstimulating and shedoesn't like her clit touched?
(08:50):
There are solutions for that.
So my next several tips arearound indirect stimulation to
the clit that will get her toorgasm.
The very first technique I wantto talk about for people who
cannot handle direct stimulationon their clit is layering.
Layering is basically touchingand playing with the clit
through the layers of skinaround it, being the hood, the
(09:14):
inner labia and the outer labiaand I'm going to break these
down.
One of the ways you can goabout stimulating her clit
without touching it directly isusing the hood of the clit,
touching it through the hood ofthe clit, so that's going to be
located at the top of the pearl,right below the pubic bone, and
(09:35):
you can just use that hood torub it.
The next technique you can useis using the inner labia to rub
and excite the clitoris.
Now, if you go back to mypodcast on fingering, I talk
about rolling and basically youuse your fingers in a snapping
(09:57):
position and you put it oneither side of those inner lips
and you move your fingers in asnapping motion and it rolls the
flesh in between so you cantake hold of those inner labia
with the clit between them.
Add pressure a little bit of apinching, pressure them.
Add pressure a little bit of apinching pressure.
Be careful, don't pinch toohard.
(10:19):
Be in communication to see whatfeels good to her and what
doesn't, and then do thatsnapping or rolling motion.
There's different ways you canplay with the clit through the
inner labia, but that's one waythat's like a nice little
massage and can get her veryexcited.
Similarly, a nice littlemassage and can get her very
(10:40):
excited.
Similarly, you can actuallystart from the outside of the
outer labia and sort of pinchthem in and around it and
massage it.
Then those different layers ofskin are going to massage the
clit and it gives her thisreally yummy grinding sensation.
Now you can also use thesetechniques on women who actually
enjoy direct stimulation to theclit.
(11:01):
This is a great way just to gether warmed up and ready for,
and possibly asking for, more.
Another super effective way tostimulate the clitoris without
touching it directly is orbiting.
You're basically going to takeyour finger and you're going to
move around the outside of theclit without ever going directly
(11:22):
on it or over it, but youstimulate the skin that's all
around it.
So you're going to go over thehood down and around it.
You may breeze by the use spot.
Those circles can be bigger orsmaller and closer to the
exposed clit depending on hersensitivity and I would ask her
for feedback.
(11:42):
Again, I personally alwayssuggest, when you want feedback,
give her yes and no questions,because if you start asking her
which direction do you want meto go, or how does this feel,
then she gets out of her bodyand into her analytical mind,
which really can pull her awayfrom being orgasmic.
I can't stand it when thathappens to me, when I'm dropping
(12:04):
into my body and trying toreally feel, and someone asked
me a question that requires anextended answer.
So does this feel good?
Would you like me to go closerto your clit?
Would you like it farther away?
Yes, no, yes, no, that keeps itsexy.
So now let's move into directstimulation to the clit.
(12:26):
My first tip is A you want togo slow and you want to explore
and you want to experiment withpressure.
Some women are going to prefera lighter amount of pressure.
Some women really like to haveit rubbed hard.
Do not start at rubbing reallyhard.
(12:46):
A it can cause pain right offthe bat and turn her off.
And B it's just also reallysexy to have that teasing soft
feeling to start.
So the next technique I want totalk about is called broadening
, instead of using just yoursingle fingertip, or even two
fingertips to start exploringand touching the clitoris.
(13:10):
Consider using three or four,even your palm, to stimulate the
clitoris and get her warmed up.
First of all, she's not goingto be overstimulated with that
pinpoint precision tip of yourfingertip and it also allows her
to see where things are feelinggood.
(13:32):
It's also a nice warming uptechnique.
The next technique I like tocall the Hail Mary.
I made that up myself.
I'm an ex-Catholic school girlso it just made sense to me.
The Hail Mary is doing the upand down and back and forth
motion on the clitoris.
So it looks a little bit likemaking the sign of the cross to
(13:54):
me, truly an ex-Catholic schoolgirl.
Sorry, sorry for all youreligious folks out there, but
you're going to go up and downand then back and forth over the
clitoris.
It's like sort of your standardmove on the clitoris it's up
and down, back and forth.
(14:15):
The next technique to try and Iactually really love this one
because it can start really softand build is tapping.
So you can take one, two, threefingers, whatever, even four
fingers, right over the clitorisand tap on it.
Start with this little softtapping motion and that can
really build.
And if you are into BDSM orlight BDSM, it can turn into,
(14:40):
you know, a little pussyspanking, which can be exciting
to some people.
Do not go to that without priorconsent or prior conversation
or unless she's communicating.
I'd like it harder.
Do you want it harder?
Yes, do you want it harder?
Yes, so that's tapping, akaspanking.
Another super sexy techniquethat you can use, either with
(15:01):
your bare hands or with clotheson, is grinding, so you can take
the palm of your hand over thetop of the clitoris and grind or
let her grind against you.
You can also play with this indifferent positions.
She can get on you and grind onyour thigh.
You can have clothes on and dosome kind of dry humping and
(15:23):
grinding.
But for the sake of thisconversation, we're going to say
clothes are off and you'reconcentrating on the clit.
You're just going to use yourhand, your fingers, the pads of
your fingers to grind againstthat clitoris.
If she likes this one,guaranteed she'll start moving
in sync with you.
So the next technique ispinching.
(15:45):
Pinching.
So you are going to pinch theclit.
Now.
We've talked about doing thisthrough the hood, pretty much.
We've talked about doing itthrough the labia minora and the
labia majora, but you can alsodo this rolling and pinching
right on the clit.
Now, before you get into this,make sure a she's up for it and
(16:08):
she's not someone who's toosensitive.
B your fingers and her clit arecovered in really thick, yummy
lube to protect her from anyrough spots you might have on
your finger.
But this can be very intense.
So either you pinch and holdand just apply pressure,
whatever kind of pressure shelikes, or you pinch and you can
(16:28):
do a little bit of a pulsingmotion to let that blood flow in
and out of the clit and reallyget her worked up.
Now another technique that youmay have heard of and was
popularized in a practice calledorgasmic meditation is
stimulating the upper left-handquadrant of the clitoris.
(16:50):
Now, according to some, this isone of the most sensitive areas
of the clit.
I haven't personally noticedthat myself, but I will be
honest and I haven't fullypracticed orgasmic meditation.
But you can go to that upperleft hand quadrant of the
clitoris and massage itspecifically, and it may in and
(17:15):
of itself bring her to orgasm.
So we're to my 16th tip, andit's called accenting.
Some women find that there arecertain places on their clit
that just are more arousing tothem and that when they are
stimulating their clit, thatapplying more pressure to those
areas feels better.
(17:37):
So let's say you are orbitingaround her clit and you get to
one part of the clit and shelikes it most there.
You can orbit around lightlyand when you get to that area,
add pressure, orbit around,release a little bit so the
touch is lighter as you moveaway from it and when you get to
(17:58):
it, accent, touch in that extrasensitive area.
You can do this with your upand down motion as well.
If you are doing the Hail Maryand let's say you're just doing
the up and down motion of theHail Mary and you notice that at
the top of her clit she's moreexcited when you go up and you
come back down, accent, addpressure on the down swipe,
(18:21):
lighten up, go back up and thenaccent more pressure on the down
swipe.
This also gives a variedsensation.
It mixes up what you're feeling.
You're getting some lightwhispery sensations and you're
getting some deep grindingsensations when you do the
accenting.
My 17th technique I think is oneof the most important.
(18:41):
It's called staging.
I think it's one of the mostimportant if you are in for the
long haul and you want to giveher an orgasm.
Because, as I said at thebeginning, this is not a one
minute endeavor.
This is going to happen over aperiod of time and staging is
basically adhering to a woman'sbody changes as she gets more
(19:02):
aroused.
So what she may like in thewarming up stage let's say some
of the grinding stuff, thepinching of the outer labia, the
inner labia isn't going tonecessarily be what she wants as
she starts to reach climax orgets closer to it.
As she gets closer, she maywant you to do orbiting, or she
(19:23):
may want tapping, whatever it is.
Whatever it is, you are goingto want to follow that staging
and learn how to, either on yourown body or with a partner,
change up what you're doing asshe's getting closer and closer
to orgasm.
Sometimes you got to change itup and that's going to require
(19:46):
some communication.
If you are partnered or you'redoing it to yourself and you're
doing the thing and it's notgetting you there, it gets you
close but not over the edge.
Maybe it's because you need tochange it up and try something
else that's more intense or lessintense and gets you there.
(20:06):
So that's what staging is.
It's basically bringingtogether all of these different
techniques and learning when andhow to use them according to
her stages of orgasmicexcitement and, hopefully,
satisfaction.
Techniques 18, 19, and 20 areabout what you can use to
(20:27):
stimulate the clit outside ofyour fingers, and I think it's
super important to use how touse what you have first, meaning
your fingers and your hands.
They are going to be some ofyour best tools At least they
should be but we're going tomove on to other things.
Obviously, you can do a lot ofthese things with your tongue
and your mouth as well.
(20:48):
A lot of them, these things,with your tongue and your mouth
as well.
A lot of them, most of them,actually, when I think about it.
So you can up her excitement.
If you've been doing all thesetechniques and she's really
getting there, you can ask herif she'd like you to use your
mouth and then take your mouthdown there and do them again.
Number 19, toys.
Remember toys are your friend.
(21:10):
They are not in competitionwith you.
There are a lot of amazing toysout there that are designed
specifically for the clitoris Ifyou've been using your finger
for a while and she wants to trysomething else, or you want to
try something else.
Get a good vibrating toy orclit sucking toy, but in this
(21:31):
case, using a vibrator to focuson discovering your clit can be
really, really useful.
Number 20, other body parts.
So you can also stimulate theclitoris with other body parts
If you are in a partneredsituation.
Like I said earlier, you cangrind against a thigh.
You can, if you're partnered,grind against another vulva.
(21:55):
If your partner is a man or hasa penis, the penis can be used
to do a lot of these techniques.
You can actually use the tip ofthe penis to do some orbiting,
to do the Hail Mary, and theawesome thing about this is then
both of you are gettingpleasure out of it and in some
cases, you both may be broughtto orgasm without ever
(22:18):
experiencing penetration.
So those are my 20 tips.
If you have a question aboutthem, a comment, one you think I
missed I want you to let meknow If you're on my YouTube
channel, think I missed.
I want you to let me know ifyou're on my YouTube channel.
Just drop a comment below thevideo and I will check it out
and look at adding it to my list.
You can also email me atAnnette at she explores lifecom.
(22:42):
I hope these 20 tips help youin your exploration of your own
clitoris, in your exploration ofyour partner's clitoris, and
that you all get to startenjoying more orgasms tonight.
So until next time I'll see youin the locker room.
Cheers.
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